Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

In today’s podcast: Innocence lost. We’re talking about the public health crisis that is pornography and the way that it’s affecting our children. Note – In this podcast I’ll be discussing content that is of a highly sensitive nature. In the past few weeks I attended a conference about pornography and the way it harms young people. On Tuesday February 9, activist group Collective Shout hosted Australia’s first symposium on the harm that pornography does to children. Experts from all backgrounds agree: pornography is hurting our children. I’m going to spend some time sharing things that were reinforced at the conference that EVERY parent needs to know about – because the reality is that your children WILL see pornography. And in today’s podcast, specific tips for every parent for how to deal with pornography in your children’s lives. Show Notes The following resources and people can provide additional information for people who are interested in this topic:Basically… porn is everywhere. A report from the UK Children’s Commissioner. Website: It’s time we talked.Maree Crabbe– Reality and RiskMelinda Tankard Reist * 2:40 Am I the only parent worried about this? * 6:45 How old are children when first see pornography? * 7:45 How children see pornography at school * 12:45 Children are seeing pornography BEFORE they’ve ever held someone’s hand * 18:30 How old should your children be before you talk about pornography? * 19:20 What does pornography teach our children? * 26:50 How does a 14 year-old girl get convinced to send nude images to a boy at school? * 31:15 How do we talk to a child about pornography? * 34:30 A sample conversation about pornography with your child * 40:25 Wrap up Save $40 on 21 Days to a Happier Family online program – This is a special offer ONLY for Newsletter and Podcast subscribers. This week only, save $40 on 21 Days to a Happier Family – the online program – by using the code “giveme40” at the checkout. Make your family happier, and save!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Show Notes I speak to people almost every day who are struggling with their family relationships. Parents are tired of their children’s challenging behaviour. Children are stressed and struggling to live up to the perfection their parents demand. And frankly, some of the families I deal with are in real trouble… I remember one parent of a teenager who was tremendously aggressive, and I could not do or say anything that could convince him to consider that his attitude was toxic to his relationship with his daughter. It was all her fault. He wasn’t doing anything wrong… but the sad truth is he barely registered just how much trouble their relationship was in. In this podcast, we’ll review 5 ways we can know that our relationship is in trouble. * 0:00 Intro * 2:47 5 Ways to Know Your Relationship With Your Children is in Trouble * 10:20 Three minute therapy: How to handle angry children * 18:34 Are parents servants?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this week’s podcast – Do you know someone who is always right? They can’t be convinced otherwise, even when they’re absolutely wrong. Show notes To start off this podcast, we’re going to get a little deep, and investigate how we do this as parents, and what it does to our children. I hope you’re open to exploring a little inside yourself, and considering how you see the world… because this is going to be a challenging thing to consider. And do you ever find yourself telling porky pies – little lies – to your children? One mum has told her daughter a BIG ONE… and she’s asked me for some advice in Dr Justin’s three minute therapy. * 2:24 – People who are always right * 11:12 – Three minute therapy – is it ok to lie to children? * 17:37 – Tips for a happy familySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is there a way to be happy that feels best for you? Do you seek happiness in the same predictable patterns? Over recent decades, researchers have considered the different ways we might be oriented to happiness. They’ve developed a model of 3 orientations – or pathways – to happiness and we’ll explore them briefly in today’s podcast. Show notes I think it’s fair to say that we all want to be happy… and perhaps even “happy – er”. But how do we get there? What can we do to make ourselves lastingly happier? Is it even possible. Today, we explore 3 orientations to happiness – or perhaps we might call them pathways. These pathways are: * Hedonic Happiness * Engagement/Flow * Eudaimonic Happiness Throughout this podcast we’ll take a close look at each of these ways of being happy, and explore some simple things you can do to implement them more into your daily life.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Forgiveness is a challenge. Someone does something you don’t like. Forgiving them is not a typical reaction. Whether it’s as simple as having someone cut you off while you’re driving, or something as dramatic and horrific as being hurt, or having a loved one taken from you. Some might say, “Why should I forgive?” And others might say, “I refuse to forgive.” This podcast looks at what forgiveness is, what forgiveness is not, and then we dive into 5 steps to forgiveness that can eliminate resentment and anger in your life, and build greater positivity and happiness at a personal level, and in our families. I also offer some parenting advice to a mum whose daughter was involved in a car accident, and now she doesn’t want to drive in the car – and freaks out if things feel scary. Show notes Lack of forgiveness increases the body’s production of stress hormones, and impacts on our relationships and wellbeing. In contrast, choosing to forgive has a measurable impact on our physiology, and makes us happier. Here are my five steps to forgiveness: * Acknowledge what happened * Empathise * Get perspective * Let it go * Repeat as necessary – and it will be necessarySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We usually think that we’ll be ‘happy’ when we get that thing. It might be a job, a degree, a child, a child at school, a car, the house, the holiday, or something else we’re pining for. In this week’s Positivity Podcast, we take a look at something a little bit bizzare. While those things can – and do – make us happy, there’s something else much bigger, much more powerful, and far more life-changing that boosts our positivity AND makes the world (and the lives of others) phenomenally better. Also in today’s positivity podcast, I’ll chat with you about taming toddler tantrums. What to do, what not to do, and why. Show notes In today’s podcast there really aren’t any “tips” for me to share. However, you may be interested in the following links to articles that describe the research I’ve discussed here. Note, I’m not linking to the scholarly work if I’ve been able to find a simpler version to share. For more about giving money, see this article by Dunn and Norton. For more about how we spend our time (hedonic or eudaimonic behaviour), see this article by Mike Steger and Todd Kashdan. To know how helping helps make us happier when we are not being ‘controlled’, see this article by Netta Weinstein and Rich Ryan.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this positivity podcast, I’m talking ‘optimism’ – not so much the glass is half full kind of optimism – although that’s important. Rather, I’m talking about looking for good things to come. And I’ll share some strategies to help you – and your children, your staff, or your students – to be more optimistic. For my Ask Dr Justin segment I’m answering a question from a mum who is thinking about leaving her partner, and wants to know if the kids will be ok. It’s a tough one, but I’ve got some ideas that should be helpful. Plus some announcements, and optimistic inspiration to finish off the podcast. Show notes Optimism is an antidote to depression, and it builds resilience. It gives us something to look forward to. Here are five strategies to develop and optimise optimism that I expand on in the podcast: * Emphasise “yet” * Focus on what you can control * Focus on the end, rather than now * Learn about mindsets, and our capacity for change * Avoid the superficial And the special bonus – talk with people about what they’re looking forward to! Especially the kidsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In my last few podcasts I’ve talked about the problems with praise – and promised I would address the issue in full in a podcast. Now a warning – this one is a little sciencey, and I do talk about a lot of research. But that’s because praising children is something we’ve been told to do for decades, so for someone to say not to do it – well, that’s kinda weird. I’ll also help out a parent who is struggling with a toddler who keeps on lashing out and hitting. And I have one of those parenting hacks that are so obvious – but so easily overlooked – for when the kids are bored and need some stimulation. This week’s parenting hack Cushions and blankets… that’s all I’m saying here. You’ll need to listen to the podcast to find out why 🙂See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this week’s podcast we’re taking a look at the remarkably controversial topic of pocket money for kids. It seems like there’s no shortage of opinions about what age, how much, whether there should be increases and how often, whether it should be tied to chores… and so on. And parents devise some pretty elaborate pocket money schemes! I should know, because I’ve got one. In today’s podcast I’m going to tell you what researchers have discovered about pocket money, and how I have used that to develop a pocket money strategy that is stupendously successful for my family in terms of getting the kids excited about saving, but also helping them have a balanced, healthy approach to spending. I think you’re going to love it! In my Ask Dr Justin segment, we’ll take a look at what to do with a toddler who keeps getting into his parents’ bed in the middle of the night and interrupting EVERYONE’S sleep. And a cool parenting hack to keep your iphone safe from little hands exploring things you would rather they didn’t. Show notes How our family does pocket money: * Create a budget for each child with savings, spendings, and donations. * Set goals with each child to achieve with savings * Track goals on a weekly or fortnightly basis in an exercise book so they can monitor their progress * Offer mini-incentives to help them reach new and better targets For more information about each of these, take a listen to the podcast. This week’s parenting hackGuided Access from Apple is a brilliant way of keeping your iphone safe, even when your children are using it.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In last week’s podcast, we were reminded of the wonderful things we can say to our children to build them up, make them feel amazing, grow their resilience, and improve family life. This week, we’re turning the tables and looking at some of those things we say to our kids in the heat of the moment – or because we don’t know any better – that can really hurt them. In this podcast, I’ll share 5 things our children need to hear from us as little as possible – or maybe even NEVER. Show notes What are the five things our children should never hear from us? * You’re useless * You’re so clever * Why can’t you be more like… * I wish I’d never had you * Because I said so For more information about each of these, take a listen to the podcast. This week’s parenting hack A great idea for helping little ones get their shoes on the right foot – placing a cut-in-half sticker into their shoes so that when the sticker matches up, they know they’re on the right feet.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The words we say have enormous impact on our children. All too often we get preoccupied and distracted, and struggle to talk with our children in the loving way they need. It’s one thing to eliminate the negative, but we need to know what to replace it with. In this podcast, I’ll share 5 things our children need to hear from us as often as possible. Show notes What are the five things our children need to hear from us every day? * Thank you * I’m sorry * You tried so hard * I love you * What do you think? For more information about each of these, take a listen to the podcast. This week’s parenting hack This week’s parenting hack is playing the “Yes/No” game… here’s a really fun youtube that shows you precisely how to play it.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Gratitude is a virtue that has received a LOT of attention from researchers in the past decade or thereabouts. It seems as though the most sure-fire way for many people to become happier is to be grateful. And because gratitude is such a simple concept for most people to understand (and because most people are fairly grateful anyway), it is a simple principle to practice in family life to improve everyone’s wellbeing, and make our families happier. Show notes How can gratitude make your family happier? In this episode I suggest that parents: * Model grateful behaviour * Have conversations about grateful things * Create a gratitude tree * Carry a gratitude rock * Keep a gratitude diary/journal This week’s parenting hack For great ways to connect with your kids, grab a copy of Hands Free Mama by Rachel Macy Stafford.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to this first episode of the Happy Families Podcast. In this episode, I’ll be chatting about habits around our routine that can make our family stronger and happier. Strong, happy families don’t happen by accident. We don’t wake up, do whatever we feel like, and magically have a family that functions just fine. Happy and strong families are the product of consistent, proactive efforts on the part of parents who make family a priority. In this podcast I’ll share 7 habits that happy families practice to strengthen their relationships and make their families function well. Show notes So what are the habits I recommend to make your family happier? * Create a family focus. A shared vision makes decision making easy, and guides action. * Have a parent retreat. Strong families are headed by strong couples who make time for one another. * Take regular, simple, cheap time out as a family. Family holidays are achievable for most families with one person who qualifies for annual leave. And they can rejuvenate a family. * Family dinner matters. Have a family dinner as often as possible. * Device down-time. We need to disconnect so we can re-connect. * Make weekends sacred. At least some of the time. * Interview the kids. It’s amazing what we learn about their lives – and our families – when we really listen to our children. And a bonus idea – family night once a week can make a big impact on the way your family interacts. This week’s parenting hack For great ways to know what movies and media are ok for kids, check out the following two sites: * Common sense media * Kids in mindSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.