Danny Wallace's Important Broadcast

Greetings from the warm bosom of The Important Broadcast. May your days be merry or bright. At this time of year, we join together and make hard to substantiate claims about ridiculous abilities that we have.... Well Steve does anyway. Can he really identify the flavour of crisp by touch alone??? Expect Christmas facts, Christmas Dinners and the final word on the Driving Home For Christmas conundrum. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Is it ever too early to start getting into the yuletide spirit? The Great Leader thinks that yes, it can be too early. Not to worry; this week's show was a fairly Christmas-heavy zone nonetheless. Expect a big mistake from Steve, the time that Christian Bale met Donald Trump, a (verified) fact about cows and a welcome return from Bill Turnbull as The Important Documentaries continue! Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

The Great Leader invites listeners (senior and junior alike) onto The Broadcast with caution. He does so to appear approachable, warm and affable. This week, it was decreed that Senior Listener Ben should be allowed to spend some time experiencing The Broadcast first hand, owing to his absent-minded Mother's actions, which caused him to miss the beginning of The Broadcast. Following this, Ben and the other listeners recieved great teachings on bull (hand) fighting, threathening emails and enchiladas. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Greetings and Get Into the Music to you. With a new producer at the helm while the esteemed Joe Attewell is on his island retreat, we find out how the Great Leader and his Underling Steve, cope with change. As you would you expect, Steve revolts with his own new hastily invented feature. Plus, a deep analysis, almost bordering on spoken dissertation, of Chris Rea's travel plans for Christmas, a controversial Dinner Winner AND an incredible round of Tell Me Something I Don't Know. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

The Great Leader goes to great lengths to ensure that a toxic work environment is avoided at all costs. Steve ignores these efforts and makes it difficult for everyone. This week, you can expect some easy-to-digest “water cooler chat”, some obnoxious passengers on a train and some awards ceremony beef. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

The Great Leader is a skilled user of words; he knows LOADS of them. Steve has a fairly good grasp on words, but isn’t against making them up from time to time. People are different, and that’s ok. In this week’s edition, you should expect horses, a forgotten birthday, some art work (v. exciting) and a fact about Carly Simon’s Dad. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

How do you relax and unwind? What’s your favourite colour? What on earth is that jewellery modelled on!? Take The Important Broadcast into your life and let it settle in. The Great Leader offers you stories of dolls, Ewoks, silences & squirrels. Sit back. Relax. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Following an extraction, where should a dentist deposit the tooth? It’s one of life’s many questions that are tackled with ease on The Important Broadcast. The Great Leader brings you tales of teeth and asks you if you saw the fireworks. There’s also a fact about sniffing dogs, a man on a bus and an in depth look at the origins of macaroni cheese. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Ok, sure.... The Great Leader has written some books. But what about Steve Ferdinando's literary achievements? Does The Important Broadcast spend enough time celebrating those? Perhaps not. This week's instalment looks to rectify this; marvelling at Steve's facility with language and congratulating him on his free-flowing dialogue and effortless delivery. You can also expect a story about a giant peanut, a lumpy hand update and the inevitable facts about animals. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Do you want to know what it is to be a broadcaster? How important are one’s ears as a broadcaster? This week, The Great Leader tackles horse blinders, close friends and whether or not the listener’s Mums like the show. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Standby. Sit down. Stray not from the Important Broadcast. Surrender yourself to The Great Leader and slide into something saucy. Still on the air after 40 shows and slaying it. Expect small talk, stir-frying and stacks of stories. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Get ready to hear an awful lot about a balloon that was discovered in the office. Prepare yourself for chat about 90’s screensavers, films from 1994 and where Tupac could be found alive. There's also a story about 65 naughty cats, some free* halloumi and some pancakes. The Great Leader invites you in and you will accept. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you. *not free

Another week: Another wedding for Steve to attend. It was a musical show this week, with mentions of Dame Shirley Bassey, Oasis, Snow Patrol and quite a lot about Londonbeat. There was also a poem, some stolen Nintendo consoles and a man called Adonis. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Let’s not mess about. You want to know what’s in the Important Broadcast Podcast, right? There’s a raccoon, a wedding, some street gags, a trailer, a meatball story and a fact about sperm. Alright? Great. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

What a disappointment it is when those around you, for seemingly no reason, decide to shock, insult and upset you. The Great Leader felt betrayed and humiliated this week, but he soon gained back any lost ground. The Important Broadcast is your primary source for all Peacock News. You all know that don’t you? Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

In this week's podcast, The Great Leader promises you more bonus bits than you can shake a stick at. Now put that stick down. There's a brand new feature feauturing the wit and wisdom of Steve Ferdinando, some news about fish, a tense game of Dinner-Winner and if you're very patient, you might even find a secret recipe in the podcast.... Where on earth could it be hidden!? Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

It was a pleasure to have Steve back in the studio this week. The Great Leader welcomed him back with warm words and a gift. A new feature was trialled, a bison was startled and “The Leicester Square Jumper” was called out for what he is. There was also a lovely little round of Tell Me Something I Don't Know and finally, everything that you need to know about the CEO of GoDaddy. Don't ever say we aren't good to you. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

It was a multi-faceted broadcast this week. The Great Leader: Dry, warm, dignified and resplendent. Steve Ferdinando: Wet, cold, bedraggled and elsewhere. As Steve reported live from Victorious Festival in Portsmouth - the usual mix of facts, larks and a couple of jokes were all still present and correct. Expect an explosive squid, a STUNNING five-star-challenge and an ex-footballer who doesn't drink tea. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you

Join the Great Leader and Steve Ferdinando as they bring you facts, larks and lies. This week Steve was late, but don't worry - The Leader didn't let this pass without mention. There's also a squirrel, a crocodile (dead) & a tupperware box. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

This week, The Great Leader puts the ball in Steve's court. Steve's reaction is to say something slanderous about a friend's Dad on national radio. Good times. There's also a story from an alley way, a tiger and an email. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Generally speaking, The Great Leader hopes that you enjoy this week's 30th edition. There's a triumphant return of The Important Documentaries, a story about a royal ghost, a dramatic five star challenge & a whole lot of learning to be done. Get into it. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

The Great Leader offers you a troublesome monkey, bottomless brunch, whale diets and confidence-inducing cat mess. Take these offerings and smear them about your ears. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

This week, The Great Leader brings Steve in to his warm bosom and offers some advice on a tricky issue. A fantastic edition of "Tell Me Something I Don't Know" will leave you very much richer in the fact stakes, and look out for a very wet truck driver, a formation of female festival funsters and some cheeky internet naughties. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

When his subjects make outrageous claims, The Great Leader will break them down and make them look silly. This week, Steve Ferdinando reckons his ears are the best. Silly. There's also a Japanese gameshow, iambic pentameter, a pigeon on a train and the curious case of the stolen clouds. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Whether or not "it" comes home, The Important Broadcast will remain constant, unwavering and ever-present. It serves as an excellent source for observations on primate behavious and other knock about japes. Finally, it is a fountain of knowledge to drink from, splash around in, but most importantly to LEARN from. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

A quarter century of exquisite Important Broadcasts. Well done everyone. This week brings gay swans, a musical review, a man jogging & a strong message which urges you all to "get into the music". Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

The BIG MATCH! The footie! The beautiful game! Put all of that out of your mind and be sensible, for The Great Leader commands it. This week, there are hotdogs, a swan, errors (oh, so many errors) and a frog. Plus, ready yourselves for Steve's podcast exclusive feature - "Life in Micronews". Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Blessed be The Father upon this, The Father's Day. The Great Leader offers you facts, opinion and an horrific image of sea creatures falling helplessly from the sky. Plus, find out how Steve's travels in Ghent lead him closer (if only in a geographical sense) to his fortune. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

The Great Leader only ever wants to educate. That is, apart from the times when there is 'beef', at which point he becomes the butcher. With Steve absent, (although you wouldn't know it, because he's still all over this podcast) a stupendous guest was invited to provide facts: Nice, cold, hard, lovely facts. There's also more peacocks, more bins & a stuffed lion. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

The Great Leader, although not angry, was disappointed by the remarks of some listeners following last week's Module. Today's edition should put all of that to bed. There's also some exciting documentary news and a story about a pig following a man home. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Another week, another Important Broadcast Podcast milestone smashed into miniscule pieces. This week, The Great Leader offered the nation a platform upon which to engage and they delivered in skip loads. As if that weren't enough to pass out with excitement - brace yourself for further mentions of the collective terms for various creatures and an inspirational talk from Steve. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Hello valued listener and "Get Into The Music" to you. This week's Important Broadcast gets you up close and personal with hungry dogs, Prince Phillip, riddles & Gods. What more could you want? Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Happy 18th Important Broadcast Podcast everyone. The Great Leader congratulates you. This week shapes up with Irn-Bru, a horse, Nigel Farage and 'bin day'. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

The Important Broadcast is available for your consumption and delectation. The Great Leader brings you tales of monkeys, tips (and tips), and lime zest. It also turns out that Steve is a best man. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

The Important Broadcast comes to you this week with a simple message; "There's no point in complaining." Still, look on the bright side - The Glorious Leader brings you stories of old spiders, Jesus and he's particularly interested in what you smell like. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

This week, The Important Broadcast goes down a rabbit hole in search of The Ferdinando Fortune. Will we find it? Who was Nanny Ferdi really? Will Steve share his riches??? The Great Leader is beckoning for you to follow... QUICK! Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

The Important Broadcast returned from it's jolly tour of Europe and The Great Leader was full of it. "It" being more peacock fun, the questionable existence of Belgium and what the Queen's nicknames are. Assume the position and recieve the broadcast. Please send your listner comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Set your watch for fun and you'll be right on time for The Important Broadcast. This week; consider further reading on peacocks and brace yourself for a risque story from Steve. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

This week The Great Leader got into a bit of a scrape! What on earth is he like? Only minutes before The Important Broadcast took to the airwaves, the studio was hit with some BIG news. The accusations came flying in! Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Blessings be upon you, listener of The Important Broadcast Podcast. Please find enclosed Module 11. Hear the broadcast, obey the broadcast, love the broadcast. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

The Great Leader thinks, therefore The Important Broadcast is.... In this, the 10th edition of the Broadcast - opinions are challenged, relationships are tested, curtains are lifted and roles are reversed. We learn many things that will NEED to be noted in your listener pads: Danny isn't (technically) here, Steve dreams about Nigel Farage and there is a baby called Donald. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

The Important Broadcast wouldn't be the beacon of truth and direction that it is were it not for Mothers. In this week's edition, The Great Leader pays deserved homage to all Mothers great and small. There's also mention of tubas, Copenhagen & denim - but mainly Mothers. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

This weeks Important Broadcast Podcast comes to you laden with exactly 19 minutes and 14 seconds of extra-special bonus content absolutley FREE. Can you believe it? Amongst the delights, please enjoy Steve's roundup of the "Three Greatest Films Ever", a rallying call for a "Beano-Brexit" & some more mediocre at best impressions. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

The Important Broadcast loves you. You should know that. It was a difficult week at Radio X as our social media editor led us into a war that none of us wanted. Topics this week included Coco Pop potholes, the "Celebrity Cruise" (two part inaugaral special) & whether or not you were going to your Mum's. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

A huge week on The Important Broadcast. Liam Gallagher joined the Great Leader to talk about conspiracy and the contents of his fridge. You'll also find a fish-monster, a breakdown of the very latest listener statistics and another look at bringing impressions back to national radio. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

The Important Broadcast Podcast enters it's fifth week with an IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT. Aside from that - there are burgers, some impressions, a couple of new directives for junior and senor listeners and all the bonus material that you've come to expect from such a high quality broadcast. Remeber: These podcasts offer a unique and valuable opportunity for you to take all the messages on board and revise them in your own time. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Have you checked who you're sending that E-mail to? Always check who's on the E-mail chain to avoid mistakes. A leaked memo threatened to cause ructions in The Important Broadcast this week. There's more mouse news, a chat about Steve's changing body and quite a few resignations. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

The time is upon us for the third part of the Important Broadcast Podcast. Don't be alarmed. In this week's edition - we talk technology, mice and tattoos. We also welcomed Danny Robins, host of "Haunted" podcast to talk ghosts, apparitions and mystery. Try to remember at all times that listener posture is a key part of what we are trying to achieve here. I mean, sure; the podcast is a slightly more relaxed affair, but if you let standards slip then you're buying yourself a one way ticket to shoddy-town. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Welcome to the second instalment of The Important Broadcast! Whilst we want you to enjoy yourself on this course, it’s key to remember that you are here to learn. Discipline is KEY. With that in mind, we find out why you’ve shouted at a child recently, and we get your hot take on an unpopular opinion. Oh, and a little bit of time travel too. ENJOY. Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.

Hello! Welcome to the Important Broadcast! You should have received your induction pack by now. If not, please reach out to your regional representative. On this first audio lecture, we’ll introduce the rules, find out what YOU’D do if someone soiled your territory, and Ross Noble joins us as a guest speaker. ENJOY! Please send your listener comments to [email protected] Thank you.