Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

In this special Halloween episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Jeff & Cathy of the LILY POD podcast to discuss why intimacy can be so terrifying, how we can overcome these fears, and the benefits that await those who are courageous enough to really care, know, and understand themselves and others.

Last month, Dr. Adam Miller joined Dr. Finlayson-Fife and Room for Two subscribers for an interactive discussion about love, faith, loss, and more. The conversation was simply too incredible to keep contained on the Room for Two podcast, so today, we are releasing it here on Conversations with Dr. Jennifer so that EVERYONE can enjoy it. This beautiful exchange of ideas between Dr. Finlayson-Fife and Dr. Miller will change the way you think about love in the best possible way.

In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Dr. Dave and Ashley of the On Call with Dr. Dave podcast to talk through the impact of high-demand careers on relationships and the important role that self-awareness, honest communication, and conscious choosing play in keeping resentment and entitlement at bay.

Today we are releasing the recording of Dr. Finlayson-Fife's 2022 Restore presentation, "Developing Sexual Wholeness." In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife discusses the integration of spirituality and sexuality from an LDS theological perspective. She also discusses the three stages of development (Egocentric, Social, and Self-Authoring) and how each stage shapes how we think about ourselves, our sexuality, and God.

In this recent Facebook Live, Zach and Darcy Spafford of the Thrive Beyond Pornography podcast joined Dr. Finlayson-Fife to share their personal experience working through unwanted pornography use in their marriage and how after years of feeling stuck and frustrated, they were able to shift gears and make meaningful, lasting progress in their relationship to pornography and their relationship to each other.

In this NEW podcast episode, I join Aubrey and Tim Chaves from the Faith Matters podcast to talk about modesty and how we can relate to and cherish our bodies so as to experience deeply embodied joy through them. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: Problematic understandings of modesty Why modesty is such a culturally charged topic Sexual self-mastery Healthy ways to talk to youth about modesty and sexuality Stages of moral development The gift of sexual conservatism

In this NEW podcast episode, I join Heather Frazier of the Pivot Parenting Podcast to talk about triangulation in families and the negative impact that triangulation has on our children and our marriages. Listen to the full episode to learn: * What triangulation is and why it is so tempting * The three classic roles in triangled relationships—victim, perpetrator, and rescuer (and how we toggle between roles at different times) * How to distinguish between healthy triangles and unhealthy ones * How triangulation is related to codependency * How to break the pattern of triangulation when it’s undermining your relationships

In this NEW podcast episode [“Differentiation and Divorce”], Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Hyo North of the Leading With Grace podcast to talk about how differentiation can help those working through the complexities of separation or divorce navigate forward with wisdom and maturity. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * Separation and divorce * Collusive alliances and how they keep us stuck * Differentiation as it relates to divorce * Forgiveness * Forging capacity in the face of crisis You can listen to the full episode here: https://www.finlayson-fife.com/podcasts/conversations-with-dr-jennifer/post/divorce-and-differentiation or by clicking the link in our profile. GIVEAWAY: Hyo North, host of Leading with Grace, is generously gifting a one year Room for Two subscription to one lucky listener! To enter the giveaway, follow @leadingwithgrace and leave a comment with your favorite quote or idea from the episode!

In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Rhonda Farr to talk through two listener questions about desire dynamics and how to navigate the painful reality of having a spouse who is not interested in creating a better sexual relationship. During this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife expertly models how the higher desire partner can maturely handle themselves in difficult and productive conversations about sexuality. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: -Desire Dynamics -Duty Sex -Differentiation -Emotional and Sexual Maturity

In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Sadi Rogers of Lift + Love to discuss the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ+ Latter-day Saints and the opportunity in the struggle to forge deeper self-acceptance and sustaining inner strength. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: *Healthy ways to address the discrepancy between societal norms and divergent realities *Finding peace in painful circumstances *How love is the pathway to truth *Communicating effectively with those who believe differently *Stages of spiritual development *Grief and loss as inherent to life *The silver lining that comes from not fitting the mold of a group

Zack and Kelly’s marriage has been a relatively untroubled one. That is until last year, when Zack disclosed to Kelly that he had been viewing pornography off and on since childhood. Kelly’s distress from the disclosure came not so much because Zack had been viewing porn, but because he had managed to keep this from her despite her having asked him explicitly about it over the years. Learning that he was capable of deceiving her in this way was completely and understandably disorganizing for Kelly.

In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz of the Stronger Marriage Connection podcast to discuss how couples can work through conflict and develop a greater capacity for both sexual and emotional intimacy.

When we take ourselves too seriously, we can snuff out the playful eros energy that keeps relationships vibrant and alive. After all, the happiest marriages thrive, rather than just survive. They are joyful because each person feels free to fully be themselves—without the need to pretend or contort themselves to earn approval. Making room for two people to be true to themselves and the relationship is where the real magic happens. I recently met with Dr. Jerry and Tammie Duggar of the Simple 7 Lifestyle Podcast to discuss how couples can find more happiness and a deeper sense of freedom in their relationships, and how the quality of our relationships impacts both our mental and physical health.

I recently joined Oliver and Lindsey of the Singled In Podcast for a conversation about the exceptional power of choice and its relationship to self-authoring, especially as it relates to being at peace with our sexuality. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: -Shifting from an external to an internal moral compass - Psychological maturation -Self-authoring and self-determination -The power of CHOICE -How relationships pressure growth -Sexual integration for singles

I am heartbroken to share with you on this Mother’s Day that recently my mom was diagnosed with a serious illness. An illness that will take her from us sooner than any of us had expected. Sherrae Phelps and I recorded this podcast episode last year, long before my mom’s diagnosis. The plan was always to publish the episode for Mother’s Day, but it feels particularly poignant to be releasing it now, in light of this diagnosis–to be celebrating my mother’s impact on me as I confront the reality of losing her. At ninety years old, my mother is a woman full of life and genuine beauty–she exemplifies feminine radiance and intuitive wisdom. Her life has demonstrated that the power of love, humility, and grace can make the world a better place. I am so grateful for her–grateful for her influence on me and on others. Grateful that she is who she is, and that she has shown up in her life the way that she has. She has given me so much.

The challenges in your sexual relationship can offer a glimpse into the unhealthy dynamics playing out in your life and marriage. Understanding and addressing your role in these difficult interactions will help you create an intimate relationship that can be a place of solace for both parties—where each partner feels desired, valued, and cared for. In this new podcast episode, I join Melissa of the Family Brand podcast to discuss our ability to find fulfillment in sexual relationships and how couples can overcome common roadblocks that interfere with desire, passion, and connection.

In this podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Jordan and Ryan of The Stoic Dad podcast to discuss stoicism, desire, productive suffering, mature masculinity, and more!

The brief years of young adulthood are a vitally important period of our development. These are the years when we learn how to self-define. A time when we take the ideas and beliefs that were offered to us by parents, peers, and society and really sort out what we think about those ideas, and how we want to relate to them as we go forward. As most adults will remember, this can be a turbulent process, for both young adults and their parents. I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Isaac Burton, an incredible young college student, to discuss several topics that are on the minds of young adults. During the conversation, we discuss dating, career choices, the importance of self-definition, and more.

In this episode, I discuss with Monica Packer the importance of expanding ourselves and how constricting this process and taking refuge in stasis, limits not only our peace with ourselves, but also our ability to whole-heartedly love our partner.

In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Richard Ostler to discuss the experiences in her early life that shaped her personal, professional, and spiritual journey—including her shift from following cultural expectations to following her own heart and desires. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: -Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s personal, professional, and spiritual journey -Boundaries -Spiritual Maturity

Recently, I joined Dr. Paul Jenkins of Live on Purpose Radio to discuss the role that peace with our OWN sexuality plays in our ability to create a soulful and sustaining connection with our spouse. In the episode, we discuss several roadblocks that couples face as they try to create sexual and emotional intimacy–these roadblocks are more common than you might think and the good news is that they can be overcome.

In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Tammy Hill of the Live Your Why Podcast to discuss the divine gift of sexuality and the important role that our sexuality plays in our spiritual development.

In this special Valentine's Day edition of MormonLand, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, McArthur Krishna, and Bethany Brady Spalding join Peggy Fletcher Stack and David Noyce, hosts of the MormonLand Podcast, for a thoughtful discussion on the nature of Latter-day Saint marriages and an exploration of the content found in the recently released ebook "In the Image of Our Heavenly Parents: A Couple's Guide to Creating a More Divine Marriage."

In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Dan Purcell of the Get Your Marriage On podcast (@getyourmarriageon) for a deep dive into the topic of masturbation. During the episode, Dr. Jennifer explores the reasons why there is so much anxiety surrounding masturbation and offers insight on what we can do to make decisions around our sexuality that are wise and make us stronger.

Human beings are sexual beings from birth. As such, children are naturally and rightfully curious about their growing bodies. While this curiosity and subsequent exploration manifests differently in toddlerhood, childhood, and adolescence--a parent's comfort level with this natural process will have a big impact on the child's relationship with sexuality. In this popular podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Taralynn of the Find the Magic Podcast to discuss what parents can do to help their children develop a healthy relationship with sexuality. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: Taking the shame, fear, and anxiety out of talking to kids about sex Normalizing sexuality Teaching our children to be deliberate and thoughtful in their choices about sexuality Handling toddler and pre-adolescent curiosity about embodiment and sexuality Modesty

In this NEW PODCAST episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Taylor Chambers MS, LMFT to discuss unwanted porn use and how our framing of the behavior can make all the difference. They also discuss how honesty with ourselves and our partner can open us up to more sexual fulfillment and connection. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: Addiction framing vs Agentic framing Sexuality as a mechanism for personal development Coming to peace with your sexuality Honesty and its role in our relationships Positive ways to respond to unwanted sexual thoughts/feelings Trust vs Trustworthiness

In this NEW PODCAST episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Sarah Carter of the Heart and Soul podcast to discuss the complexity of making room for your own thoughts and desires when you also belong to a family or larger group, and how unyielding expectations can interfere with self-acceptance, body acceptance, and honest relationships with others. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: The importance of acknowledging our honest thoughts and desires Perfectionism Body Image Developing compassion towards our limitations and the limitations of others Resentment

In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins the hosts of the Barbie Does Dating Podcast for a discussion about dating! This episode covers how singles can differentiate in their relationships, how to recognize and overcome a fear of commitment, and healthy ways to approach the nuanced topic of sexual intimacy and compatibility while in celibate dating relationships.

In this NEW PODCAST episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Tammy Hill of the Live Your Why podcast to talk about how we can develop sexual maturity and use our sexuality to create more partnership and connection in our marriages.

In this NEW PODCAST episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Lisa from The Lisa Show (@thelisashow) to discuss red flags within a relationship and how discomfort in relationships can help us grow into more mature and loving partners.

In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife helps Nate and Nora see how they have each handled their fear and anxiety in destructive ways – Nora becoming rigid and Nate turning to condescension. These strategies are compelling because they are an easy escape from the intensity and discomfort of marital growth and expansion. Dr. Finlayson-Fife explains that the path to more stability and connection in their relationship is differentiation – learning to tolerate the aloneness and invalidation that comes when you love someone who sees and experiences the world differently than you do.

In this NEW PODCAST episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Sherrae Phelps and Kristi Bassett for a frank discussion about anxiety. During the episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife offers an important distinction between fear and anxiety and gives practical tips on how we can each learn to better cope with the uncertainties that are inherent to life. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: *Fear vs Anxiety *How to increase our tolerance for anxiety and uncertainty *Supporting family members with anxiety *Anxiety medication

In this NEW PODCAST episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Raini Hamilton to talk about the important role conflict plays in intimate relationships and how couples can use conflict to grow closer together and expand their lives and relationship.

In this NEW podcast episode, Kirsten and Alexis of the Sharing Her Journey podcast (@sharingherjourney) invite Dr. Finlayson- Fife to discuss challenging moments from her earlier years and the impact those challenges have had on her life and career path.

In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Ashlynn Mitchell of the This is Ashlynn podcast (@this.isashlynn) to help listeners better recognize how they overfunction and underfunction (that’s right, you may be doing both!) in their marriages and in parenting.

In this NEW PODCAST, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Dr. Cory Allan of the Sexy Mariage Radio Podcast to discuss duty sex and what couples can do to bring more desire, passion, and aliveness to their intimate relationship.

In this NEW PODCAST episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Brecklyn Winder of the Bread and Butter Podcast to discuss the negative meanings that many of us inherited around modesty and sexuality. Dr. Finlayson-Fife goes on to share how we can rethink and reframe those ideas to develop a healthier understanding of both modesty and sexuality.

In this NEW PODCAST episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Camille Scow of the Choosing Love podcast to talk about the complexities of pornography usage and how you can show love and support to your spouse and yourself in the wake of a pornography disclosure. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * The important role of self-compassion as we work through fears and anxieties associated with porn usage * Harmful meanings around pornography that hinder our growth and understanding * Anger as a positive resource * The true measure of progress for a porn user * Trust vs Trustworthiness

In this NEW PODCAST episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Heather Frazier of the Pivot Parenting podcast to talk about the many emotions that can come as parents transition into the empty nest phase of life, and how we can best support our kids as they become more independent and step out into the world. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * Dealing with the loss of purpose and identity as we transition to the empty nesting phase * Encouraging confidence and independence in adult children * Supporting married children to leave and cleave to their partner * Making room for a new daughter or son-in-law in the family culture

In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Sarah Brewer of the Overcome Pornography For Good Podcast to discuss how taking responsibility for your own life and chocies will increase your capacity to love and be loved.

This NEW podcast episode is the recording of Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s recent presentation at a stake women’s conference. During this presentation, she focuses on how we can use conflict and difference to increase our wisdom and create more unity in our families and communities. Dr. Finlayson-Fife also addressed questions from members of the congregation about loving LGBTQ family members, women’s role in the Church, and how to better understand and love family members who leave the church.

In this recent podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joined Dave Noyce and Peggy Fletcher Stack of The Salt Lake Tribune's Mormon Land podcast (@mormonland) to discuss the recent viral "MomTok" video. In this discussion, Jennifer talks about how the lack of strong moral development in individuals can lead to vulnerabilities within a marriage.

In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins The Cultural Hall Podcast to discuss some of the false traditions that have been passed down through generations and are now being misunderstood as doctrine–topics like patriarchal order within the church and family, Mother in Heaven, equality, priesthood authority, polygamy, and sexuality. It’s important to pray, ponder, and discern your own position.

In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Tony Overbay of The Virtual Couch Podcast (@tonyoverbay) to discuss differentiation, self-validation, and the vital role of self-confrontation in intimate relationships.

In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Rohnda Farr (@rhondafarr_coaching ) to discuss the impact of over-functioning and feelings of superiority in marriage, and what couples can do to address the behaviors that are limiting the intimacy in their marriage. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * The self-deceptions of an over-achiever (you might be surprised) * Why you may feel the“need to be needed” * Recognizing your false sense of control * Dealing with powerlessness in your life * How competition can creep into marriage. * Wanting vs Desiring In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife talks about the upcoming Art of Loving retreat for men. You can learn more about the retreat and get your ticket HERE.

This NEW podcast episode is the recording of Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s presentation during a recent gospel study session hosted by Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought. This fascinating discussion focuses on the fall of King David and how each of us is still beloved by God, despite being vulnerable to our own hubris and self-deception. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * The importance of self-confrontation * The complexities of humanity * Facing our darker selves * Honesty * Spiritual development * Self-deception * Marriage as a mechanism for growth

In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Sherrae Phelps to discuss ways Latter-Day Saints can navigate this period of transition within the church with strength and integrity, and what we can do as individuals to contribute to the development of our community.

In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife works with Andy and April to see how they each contributed to the marital dysfunction and, in particular, how Andy's dysfunction was expressed in deception and betrayal. She works with the couple to help them see what they can do to move forward, as well as bring more honesty and equality to their relationship.

In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Matana of the Hope to Recharge podcast for a powerful discussion on faith, integrity, and spiritual development.

In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins the hosts of the Bless the Refreshments Podcast to discuss why talking about sex with our kids and spouses can be so difficult and what we can do to reduce our own anxiety about sexuality.