Connected Families Podcast

Are you “walking on eggshells” with restless, homebound kids? Do your kids have a case of “Grumpy Child Syndrome”? Your family may need an extra dose of a healthy sensory diet. What is a sensory diet? Why is it important? And how can you incorporate it in practical ways with your kids? Read on. (This article is also available as a video or audio download.) In the midst of stressful times, we may find ourselves encountering grumpy kids. (We may even admit to experiencing some grumpy feelings of our own!) There is nothing wrong with you or your kids. Just like our bodies need healthy food at the right times of the day so we don’t get “hangry,” we also need healthy, timely sensory experiences. Everyone’s body needs healthy movement to help improve mood! Feelings of grumpiness and restlessness in our kids could be signaling the need for a more balanced sensory diet. What is a sensory diet?  A sensory diet is the purposeful use of sensory and movement activities at key times of the day (along with quiet times strategically interspersed) to make it easier to naturally regulate energy and emotions. Big muscle play is especially important for a sensory diet. Why is a sensory diet important? When we’re upset, our brains trigger the release of fight or flight neurotransmitters to get us ready to “slug or run” in self-protection. The blood flows away from our frontal lobe and goes to our big muscles. If that body chemistry isn’t used for its intended purpose of big muscle action, it stays in a person’s system and creates an ongoing sense that something’s wrong. And, when a child’s nervous system is on edge, it doesn’t take much to trigger an aggressive or defensive reaction.  What’s the answer? Play! When placed in a tense situation, play-deprived rats were either aggressive or ran away to a corner. Remarkably, an hour of play a day offsets this tendency. There’s evidence this is also true for humans! Knowing this about rats, it’s no wonder why cooped-up kids are so irritable… Big muscle play uses up those fight/flight neurotransmitters and increases serotonin, the feel-good hormone that kids are often low on. Sensory activities can increase serotonin and improve mood! How does a sensory diet work? Just like we need good food at times of hunger, look for the typical times of day that kids might get edgy out of “sensory hunger.” Shortly before that time offer some sensory activities. Consider interspersing “recess” at scheduled times of the school work day, especially before tackling a difficult subject. Another typical “sensory hungry” time is late afternoon or right before dinner. Your child could use a hop ball to bring the napkins to the dinner table one at a time, an activity that has helped numerous kids sit better at dinner.  If you have kids that get riled up with big muscle play, a key to an effective sensory diet can be making sure activities are rhythmical and purposeful rather than wild and chaotic. Provide structure and repetition, using obstacle courses, bear walk or crab walk relays, music and movement activities, or bike rides if those are an option. Get creative with sensory materials at home One mom was struggling with her son and his math. She gave him the idea to slide down the stairs in a sleeping bag, climb back up and do it again. And again. Structured, repetitive climbing and bumping! He went from being testy and cranky, to happy and cooperative! This particular kind of movement had given his body and brain the sensory input it needed to be calm and focused for his schoolwork. One family recently got a trampoline* for the backyard to deal with the growing “cooped up” restlessness they were seeing. Jumping on the trampoline brought dramatic changes to one son’s behavior and outbursts. The mom declared, “My boy is back. He has been full of joy. All the angsty moments, arguments with siblings, and hiding in his room have stopped.” (She also told me she was loving the trampoline as well!) We can help our kids diminish their stress and increase their joy with the right kind of movement! Practical activities to help your restless kids The key to helping our kids become more regulated is to be encouraging and intentional in setting them up for regular sensory activities. It’s important to be inviting, not demanding, and join in the fun as much as possible. Whatever activity you choose to do, be sure to help kids write safety rules for all new equipment before using. There are many practical ways to incorporate a sensory diet:  Climbing. Hide things on opposite levels of the house and give clues to get kids to climb up and down the stairs. Or use a doorway swing hanger and attach a playset suspended ladder. Clip a bucket at the top, and put puzzle or Lego pieces in the bucket for kids to retrieve one at a time. Jump and crash. Put a mattress on the floor (maybe even store your child’s bed frame) and pile it wit

You are not a bad parent. Start learning how to stop parenting out of guilt or anxiety. This content is also available in an audio version.  When we’re in crisis, the voices built most deeply in us come out. Sometimes that can be positive. Other times it turns self-critical.  Instead of blaming ourselves, we can remind our hearts that we are created in God’s image to do good works. We can be vessels of God’s grace and presence to our families during this difficult time.  Look for the bright spots in your parenting As hard as it may be to see at times, there are bright spots in your parenting.  It’s almost never as bad it could be.  Let’s get a little deep for a moment: There is a distance between “as bad as it could be” and what is actually happening. The efforts you are making to bring God’s grace to your family are what is creating that distance. In other words, things are not as bad as they could be because of the things you are doing well!  Focus on what you are doing well as a parent and allow God to grow those moments each day. Tips to grow your parenting without shame You can do better than mere survival during challenging times. You can even grow your parenting and come out better on the other side.  Here are some practical tips: Slow down, take deep breaths, trusting that Jesus is fully in control and that He never leaves us.Look at the opportunities. Look for “yes” moments that are now possible because of less time constraints.Look at the successes. Ask yourself, “When did I connect well with one of my kids?” or “When did I hold it together when I could have lost it and what helped me to achieve that?” In other words, things are not as bad as they could be because of the things you are doing well!  One mom’s parenting success during “stay-at-home” orders Enjoy this story from Abby, mom of 3 from Minnesota, who has been working hard to connect well with her kids. She is learning to choose grace and be present with her kids in the midst of life’s daily messes: Now let me just tell you on Day 1… oh wow!  That day was HARD. I am an extreme extrovert.  I gotta see my people. And then there was the FEAR. Fear of the unknown.  Fear of the virus. Not being able to know, to plan, to execute our daily routine. That first day there were tears and screaming. The anxiety – not just mine but my kids’ – was thick and oppressive. But I had a change in mindset over the next 2-3 days. I realized that we are “all in this together,” and EVERYONE else was having a similar experience, so there was nothing I could do but truly surrender it all.  Everything that was most important to me was under one roof. So it turns out I did have my people.  And I still had a Jesus who I knew was walking alongside me in all of this, and I had the framework that Connected Families had given me.  I do struggle to stay calm but I read Jim’s post where he said, “Whenever I feel anxious I literally tell myself, ‘Jim, this isn’t helping. You can’t solve it. But you can breathe deep and remember that Jesus promised to never leave you nor forsake you. (Deep breath.) That’s it. Do it again.’” I did this.  You’re not a bad parent You are not alone. In your community, and the world as a whole, there are millions of parents walking through this together. Struggling does not make you a bad parent. Every family has unique challenges and trials to navigate and it can be exhausting. We see you. We hear you. And we want to walk alongside you. Share your prayer requests with us – we’d love to pray for you. Related Posts"Are We Gonna Be Okay?""God is Always Up to Something!" | Ep. 273 Ways To Help When Your Child Refuses To Do Schoolwork4 Tips for Parenting During a PandemicHelp Your Struggling Child Grieve His Pre-Coronavirus Life | Ep. 31I Lost My Temper With My Child; Can I Make It Better?I Was a Critical Parent: 6 Steps I Took to Find a More Loving WaySometimes I Cry About My Parenting MistakesWhat To Do When Kids Interrupt Important Conference Calls | Ep. 33Why How YOU Were Parented Probably Won’t Work Anymore Prayer Lord, I ask you to fill me with an ability to see bright spots. To see past the difficulties, the failures, the discouragement. With your grace illuminate those bright spots so I can rejoice and see what you are doing right in our midst. I pray your blessing on our family today. In Jesus name, Amen. .stk-5jwinrs{margin-bottom:0px !important}.stk-5jwinrs-container{background-color:rgba(232,232,232,0.3) !important;box-shadow:0px 5px 30px -10px rgba(238,108,77,0.3) !important}.stk-5jwinrs-container:before{background-color:var(--theme-palette-color-5,#e8e8e8) !important} What are your parenting strengths? You’ve got them. Knowing your strengths will help you become the best parent you can be. Knowing your parenting challenges is useful information too. Take our FREE ASSESSMENT. (function() {var script = document.createElemen

NOTE: This content is available as a video,  a blog post (below), or a 7-minute podcast. We trust this will serve every situation and learning style well. Here at Connected Families we realize this is a tough time for many in our community and in the world as a whole. In response to the current pandemic, we sent out a survey last week to hear, “What is it like to be you?” The response was overwhelming, with a thousand parents responding in just a little over a day. People shared a wide range of responses: About 15% of you said you are doing quite well, finding less stress, and deeper connection in the slower pace. Another 15% said that stress is about normal. Still, another 70% of you are feeling more stress than usual, some of you a LOT more than usual. We read through each of your responses, and what you told us you needed was practical encouragement in short, bite-sized chunks. So, today,  we want to share a word of encouragement with you – You are NOT alone in this! Jesus “GETS” you! Hebrews 4:15 & 16 says,“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”   It helps to have a little context to really take in this verse. Temptations often have more power under stress. And Jesus had more than His share of stress, some of which you may relate to right now:  He was so exhausted that He fell asleep, in a boat, in a storm.  He “managed” 12 disciples who often acted like selfish children.  He navigated a stressful religious and political climate.  He was primarily homeless during the 3 years of his ministry, and had no regular income.  So basically…. He gets us, because He has walked in our shoes! He knows how hard this is for many of you right now.  No matter what’s going on in your life right now, Jesus is with you and cares about you! Regardless of what the constant conflict, messy house, or undone checklist looks like. So how does knowing that “Jesus gets us!” help in a tangible way during this unprecedented situation, especially when you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed? Stress happens when there’s a gap between expectations and your ability to meet those expectations. What does this mean for me, right now? Here are a few practical ideas to help you keep things in perspective:  First of all, lower the expectations you have for yourself. Stress happens when there’s a gap between expectations and your ability to meet those expectations. Maybe you’re feeling pressure to make this a purposeful, connective time with your family. Or shine the light of Jesus to those around you. Or just get that to-do list done. Jesus exceeded expectations so you don’t have to meet your own!  Next, consider what expectations you have that might feel burdensome, and release yourself from those expectations!  Emphasize God’s mercy in the middle of the mess. Claim God’s abundant, overflowing mercy during your messiest, angriest moments. And say it out loud! During an angry power struggle with one of our kids, Lynne had a “Holy Spirit insight,” and said it out loud. “You know what I think God just said to me? …that He has so much mercy on us in our struggle! He knows how hard it is for you and I to get along. And He loves us.” They both experienced God’s merciful peace. So, in the middle of the craziness, take a breath and remember that God is with you, and say that out loud.   God has abundant mercy for us. God has abundant mercy and good purposes for us in all things. One of the most memorable sermons we’ve ever heard was the spontaneous testimony of a young man in a small, lively church. As this young man was asked by the pastor to share a word, and he stood up and said, “One thing I’ve learned is that God is always up to somethin’ and it’s always somethin’ good!” He shared numerous examples, and after each one he joyfully repeated, “God is always up to somethin’ and it’s always somethin’ good!”  During many difficult times in our life together we have consistently seen this truth remain. We know that God offers peace that passes understanding. And this peace has nothing to do with our circumstances. So ask yourself this:  In this very difficult time, what might God be up to in my family?  When it’s all over, what have I learned from this time?  Has my family benefited from a slower pace of life? Maybe what you’ll have learned is simply to lean into God’s very present mercy like you never have before. And what more valuable thing could any family learn?! We are journeying with you. Whatever your experience, we are journeying with you. While our children are grown and moved out, many on our staff have children of all ages and are navigating parenting challenges right alongs

When your kids misbehave, and you need to discipline them, have you considered what they are learning? Are they learning to submit to angry power? Or, perhaps, are they learning how to get better at hiding their misbehavior and sin? Guiding kids to right their wrongs is no easy task. Most families have one child that demands more of our parenting energy. Is that child hearing an unspoken (or spoken!) message that he/she is a “problem child”? Listen in as Jim and Lynne Jackson, co-founders of Connected Families, dive into the “Correct” level of our framework – teaching the message, “You are responsible for your actions.” With plenty of practical applications and helpful stories from other parents, this podcast is packed with ideas for guiding kids to right their wrongs. These ideas will equip you to lead your family with grace as you guide your children towards reconciliation skills they will utilize for a lifetime. In this podcast you’ll: be given creative alternatives to yelling, time-outs, and punishment, while still holding your children accountable.explore how guiding our children to reconcile in a healthy way when they are younger can have a positive impact on their relationships both now and in the future. learn a value system for correcting your child that does not just focus on correcting behavior. Mentioned in this podcast: Galatians 6:1 Galatians 6:7 Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode and others can find us more easily! We are excited to offer a Connected Families Framework magnet to you for only $5! (This price even includes shipping and handling!) It can help remind you of all you are learning through the podcasts. Order one for your fridge, your bathroom mirror, your car, or wherever you might need a quick reminder as you seek to lead your family with grace. (Live outside the United States? You can print a copy of the framework here.) Related PostsAvoiding Power Struggles Is Simpler Than You ThinkDiscipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart | Ep. 15Teaching Kids to Be Responsible for Their Actions | Ep. 14This Is Better Than My Old Consequences for a Disrespectful ChildWhat Is the Goal of Your Discipline?

What skills would you like your kids to have when they go out into the world? Should you drop what you’re doing to bring them something they forgot? How can you prepare your kids for conflicts they will certainly encounter in their relationships, family, and work environments later in life? What does it look like to mentor our kids? Listen in as Jim and Lynne Jackson, co-founders of Connected Families, explore what it means to have a vision for your family and give practical ideas for ways to mentor your kids in skills, wisdom, and faith. In this podcast you’ll learn: parenting skills that build emotional intelligence.how thoughtful questions and natural impacts can build wisdom. ideas to model faith and humility so we nurture our kids’ faith in God’s grace and mercy. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode and others can find us more easily! We are excited to offer a Connected Families Framework magnet to you for only $5! (This price even includes shipping and handling!) It can help remind you of all you are learning through the podcasts. Order one for your fridge, your bathroom mirror, your car, or wherever you might need a quick reminder as you seek to lead your family with grace. (Live outside the United States? You can print a copy of the framework here.)  Related Posts5 Ways to T.E.A.C.H. Your Kids ValuesAre You Tired of Having to Nag Your Kids? | Ep. 35Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart | Ep. 15How to Limit Screen Time with Healthy Habits & a Bigger YESLeading Down a Grace-Filled Path | Ep. 17Teach Your Kids How to Trust GodTwo Questions That Defuse Almost Any ConflictWhy Doesn’t Your Tween Want to Shower? We Don’t Know Either.

You may have heard, “Move TOWARD the struggling child.” This phrase might seem counter-intuitive. Often, when our child is struggling, the last thing we want to do is connect with them.  When we show love unconditionally, especially when our kids misbehave, they will then genuinely understand that our love cannot be earned. And that our love is not reserved exclusively for when they are obedient, helpful, or behaving in the way we want. Join Jim and Lynne Jackson, co-founders of Connected Families, as they discuss what it looks like to make sure our kids know we not only love them unconditionally, but enjoy them. In this podcast you’ll: be given quick, easy “fly-by” ideas for connecting with your kids.learn strategies to help kids understand you still love them, in the middle of misbehavior.receive scripts and words to use that show empathy.hear a story from a mom whose empathy helped her connect with her daughter and get below her daughter’s anger.  Mentioned in this podcast: Zephaniah 3:17 Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode and others can find us more easily! Related Posts20 Beautiful Empathy Statements to Show Kids You Really See Them3 Unexpected Parenting Strategies to Help Your Highly Sensitive Child Thrive5 Powerful Ways to Connect with a Teen Who LiesConnecting with Toddlers & Teens During DisciplineDiscipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart | Ep. 15The Powerful Role of Empathy in DisciplineTwo Questions That Defuse Almost Any ConflictWHAT-EVER!! Ideas for Responding to Sass With Class We are excited to offer a Connected Families Framework magnet to you for only $5! (This price even includes shipping and handling!) It can help remind you of all you are learning through the podcasts. Order one for your fridge, your bathroom mirror, your car, or wherever you might need a quick reminder as you seek to lead your family with grace. (Live outside the United States? You can print a copy of the framework here.)

We all want a peaceful home where kids feel safe. But sometimes safety is hard to attain, especially when life is stressful. How do we respond during hard parenting moments? How can we do better at walking in peace and joy with our kids? In this podcast Jim and Lynne Jackson, co-founders of Connected Families, dive into creating a culture of safety at home. Applying what you learn as you listen can impact your family for generations to come. In this podcast you’ll learn to: look inward and ask the question, “What’s going on in ME?”.build a strong foundation for parenting, knowing who you are in Christ.show your kids, in a way they can understand, that you are a flawed human.communicate “You are safe with me,” in practical ways that can help your kids build a solid foundation on God’s grace and truth. Mentioned in this podcast: Blog post: Let Go of Shiny Grab Hold of GraceBlog post: How to Parent Together When You’re Total OppositesI Thessalonians 2 as a parenting chapter in the Bible Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode and others can find us more easily! Related PostsDiscipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart | Ep. 15Enjoy Your Children the Way You Always Wanted To | Ep. 44Fear-Based Compliance vs. Heartfelt Obedience: How to Avoid One & Inspire the OtherHow to Become an Emotionally Safe ParentThe Small Magnet That is Making a BIG DifferenceTo Spank or Not to Spank?What to Say When Your Child Makes Outrageous Statements | Ep. 37When Out-of-Control Kids Can’t Hear Your Gentle Voice We are excited to offer a Connected Families Framework magnet to you for only $5! (This price even includes shipping and handling!) It can help remind you of all you are learning through the podcasts. Order one for your fridge, your bathroom mirror, your car, or wherever you might need a quick reminder as you seek to lead your family with grace. (Live outside the United States? You can print a copy of the framework here.) 

How do you define yourself as a parent? Do you feel stuck in your parenting and want to explore a new way?  In this podcast Jim and Lynne Jackson, co-founders of Connected Families, are excited to introduce you to a structured framework for parenting that can help bring balance to your parenting. You CAN find balance between grace and consequences while teaching your kids wisdom, values, and faith. This podcast can bring balance to your parenting: learn the origins of the Connected Families Framework and how Jim and Lynne came up with the idea.be introduced to a structure you can use and follow in your parenting to better reach your child’s heart during the messes of daily life.be equipped with a model for restoration and grace to be used during discipline that will train your child to make right what they’ve made wrong.hear a personal story from our online course moderator, Stacy, who has learned to change the trajectory of relationships in her family by following the Connected Families Framework for parenting. Mentioned in the podcast: How to Parent Together When You’re Total Opposites Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode and others can find us more easily! Do you feel like a visual reminder would help remind you of these four messages and principles in your parenting? We have just the thing. Check out our Connected Families Framework magnet and order one for your fridge, your bathroom mirror, your car, or wherever you might need a quick reminder as you seek to lead your family with grace during the messes of daily life. Order one today!

The most successful companies usually have clear cut goals and strategies to accomplish those goals. However, most families float through life haphazardly. When families get dangerously off track, parents often say, “I just don’t know how we got here.” A lack of intentionality is often implicated when families’ find themselves sinking or even shipwrecked. In this podcast, Jim Jackson and Chad Hayenga will challenge you to have a plan to move your family forward with purpose. In this podcast about family purpose you will:   Discover practical ways to keep this from happening to your familyBe inspired to instill a sense of purpose for your unique family to be a blessing in whatever ways God calls you, whether that’s in big* or lots of smaller ways Hear Chad’s story of the surprising impact of repeated discussions around a simple question his family would continually use to evaluate their goals Don’t miss these helpful ideas to guide your family away from shipwreck as you sail strongly toward God’s purposes. *In this podcast Jim mentions a story that Donald Miller shares about a wealthy dad “buying an orphanage” for his family. We recognize the verbiage used by the man in the story could be off-putting. We pray the story behind the words can challenge you to consider how your family might embrace a greater purpose to bless others. Like what you hear? Be sure to subscribe to Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode! Related PostsHonoring Our Imperfect Dads | Ep. 19How Do I Get This Behavior to Stop?How to Speak Blessings Over Your Child This New YearLeading Down a Grace-Filled Path | Ep. 17The Small Magnet That is Making a BIG DifferenceWhere Do Parenting Reflexes Come From? Frustrated by constant discipline challenges? Take 15 minutes to read our free ebook 4 Messages All Children Long to Hear: A Discipline That Connects Overview. 

In this podcast, Chad Hayenga and Jim Jackson will challenge you to think through what you’re modeling as you parent. They’ll equip you with natural, effective ways to “live your life out loud” in a manner that builds faith and wisdom in your kids.  You’ll come away with: practical tips on how to make prayer natural with your kids.ideas on how to guide great dinner table conversations.simple ways to keep kids engaged when you read the Bible.  You may be intimidated by the idea of leading your kids to Jesus. The staff at church seems so much better equipped, right? But in your everyday life, you are teaching, leading, guiding and discipling in both the big moments, the small ones, and a million in between. Your kids are watching you all the time. The question is, what are they learning?  Like what you hear? Be sure to subscribe to Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode! Related Posts5 Practical Tips to Pray BIG as a FamilyHow to Limit Screen Time with Healthy Habits & a Bigger YESSo You Killed The Cat….Now What?Struggling at the Family Dinner Table? How to Come Together & EnjoyTeach Your Kids How to Trust GodWhere Do Parenting Reflexes Come From? .stk-f6mbuiq{margin-bottom:0px !important}.stk-f6mbuiq-container{background-color:rgba(232,232,232,0.3) !important;box-shadow:0px 5px 30px -10px rgba(238,108,77,0.3) !important}.stk-f6mbuiq-container:before{background-color:var(--theme-palette-color-5,#e8e8e8) !important} What are your parenting strengths? You’ve got them. Knowing your strengths will help you become the best parent you can be. Knowing your parenting challenges is useful information too. Take our FREE ASSESSMENT. (function() {var script = document.createElement('script'); script.src = "https://paperform.co/__embed.min.js"; document.body.appendChild(script); })()

If you’ve struggled in your relationship with one (or both!) of your parents, this podcast can give life-changing insight. Hurt and resentment left to brew under the surface can often perpetuate the effects of sin passing from one generation to another.  In this podcast, Jim shares his process of working through very difficult feelings and dynamics in his relationship with his dad. This enabled him to get to a place of an affectionate, grace-filled, restored relationship. As mentioned in this fall 2019 blog post, he learned to apply the Connected Families Framework with his own parents. In this podcast: You’ll learn practical ways to release bitterness, reconnect, and confront a parent about past hurts. You’ll be encouraged to replace bitterness with forgiveness, and disconnection with affection and honor. You’ll be equipped to set boundaries as needed.  As you learn to navigate your relationship with your earthly parents, you may even find your relationship with your heavenly Father growing deeper and more personal. In turn, this can permeate your own family for generations to come. Like what you hear? Be sure to subscribe to Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode! Sign up below to receive a weekly dose of encouragement straight to your inbox: Related PostsFamilies on Purpose | Ep. 21How Do I Get This Behavior to Stop?Leading Down a Grace-Filled Path | Ep. 17When Doing My Best Isn’t Good Enough | Ep. 18Where Do Parenting Reflexes Come From?Why How YOU Were Parented Probably Won’t Work Anymore

In this podcast episode, Jim and Chad take a deeper dive into the dynamics of dads’ good intentions with their kids. If you sometimes feel like you’re doing your best and it’s just not good enough, be encouraged and equipped by the ideas in this practical podcast. In this podcast you’ll: listen as Jim shares some helpful insights from his own relationship with his dad. hear a roleplay illustrating typical default parenting and the messages kids may actually be receiving.be given examples demonstrating how to communicate messages of grace and truth to your kids in clear and practical ways. Whether you are a dad (or mom!) who’s raising toddlers, tweens, or teens these deep and heartfelt principles can help change the trajectory of your family for generations to come. We invite you to listen to the rest of this podcast series and be encouraged to lead your family with grace!  Like what you hear? Be sure to subscribe to Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode! Sign up below to receive a weekly dose of encouragement straight to your inbox: Related Posts11 Ideas to Help You Stop Yelling at Your KidsHonoring Our Imperfect Dads | Ep. 19How Do I Get This Behavior to Stop?Leading Down a Grace-Filled Path | Ep. 17What Changed My Mind About DadWhy How YOU Were Parented Probably Won’t Work Anymore

Join Jim Jackson, Connected Families co-founder, and Chad Hayenga, LMFT, Certified Life Coach and parent coach, for this first episode in a 5-part series for dads. Moms, of course you’re welcome to listen! But Jim and Chad will be addressing specific issues unique to dads.   Often dads are working outside the home and that can bring unique challenges. It’s easy to carry stress from work into the pressure cooker of home. Dads frequently, not always, feel they need to use strong authority to manage conflict in the family. The messages dads want to convey are often not the ones that kids receive. This can build disconnection and resentment in family relationships, despite the best intentions. In this podcast you’ll: learn 4 principles for parenting in a way that builds connection and respect.hear a story about a dad who finally achieved a life-long goal with his kids when he began to focus on these principles.receive 4-5 key questions to guide your thinking for inevitable discipline situations. So whether you are a dad (or mom!) who’s raising toddlers, tweens, or teens these deep and heartfelt principles can help change the trajectory of your family for generations to come. We invite you to listen to the rest of this podcast series and be encouraged to lead your family with grace! Like what you hear? Be sure to subscribe to Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode! Want to learn more? Jim recorded this 38-minute audio thinking about dads (although moms can listen too!). If your wife has recently been digging into our material and is urging you to “get on board!” this is a great place to start!  Related PostsDo You Have a Positive View of Your Child's Future?Families on Purpose | Ep. 21Honoring Our Imperfect Dads | Ep. 19How Do I Get This Behavior to Stop?Mentoring Our Kids in Skills, Wisdom and Faith | Ep. 25When Doing My Best Isn't Good Enough | Ep. 18

You’ve just had a family event and might still be recovering from the overt or passive-aggressive comments from extended family about your kids’ behavior and your parenting choices. Family gatherings can be HARD…especially if we sense that external pressure is shifting our parenting style to avoid criticism. On this podcast Jim and Lynne Jackson tackle this tough and timely issue. In today’s episode you’ll learn: How to graciously talk to your parents (or other family members) about your parenting goalsHow to stay consistent and confident in your own parentingHow to prep your kids for success at family gatherings Listen in and be encouraged. You’ll be ready for any extended family gatherings (birthday parties, Christmas, Easter, reunions, etc.) as you make a commitment to stay consistent and confident in your own parenting. Want to dig deeper? Check out these helpful family gathering resources:  Read “3 Steps For Success in Holiday Chaos”.Read “What To Do When Relatives Criticize Your Parenting”.Read “Family Gatherings: Who’s In Charge” .If you have a child who struggles with sensory sensitivities, share “Viewing Your Child Through a Different Lens” with your family.Buy our Framework Magnet ($2!) to have handy as you explain your parenting goals.Encourage your parents, grandparents, or interested relatives to download and read, “4 Messages Every Child Longs to Hear.” Like what you hear? Be sure to subscribe to Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode! Sign up below to receive a weekly dose of encouragement straight to your inbox: Related Posts3 Unexpected Parenting Strategies to Help Your Highly Sensitive Child ThriveChristmas: The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?How to Create a Simple Sensory Diet for Restless, Homebound Kids | Ep. 30How to Handle Unsolicited Parenting Advice from Family (4 Grace-Filled Tips)Loving the PARENT of Your RealityWhat Changed My Mind About Dad

In this podcast, Jim Jackson interviews Stacy Bellward, online course moderator, in a fun and heartfelt conversation. (Find out what even got Jim a little teary!) You’ll get the real scoop on the Discipline That Connects with Your Child’s Heart online course, so you can know whether or not it’s a fit for you and your family. In this 15-minute podcast we explore: the history behind the Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart online course how Stacy went from being a student (2014), to moderating (2015), to project managing and producing the updated version (2018) what impact the DTC online course has had on families just like yours what is included in the registration fee and what some of the key takeaways are from the course One mom shared a realization as she began to walk in God’s grace for her parenting: “If I’m not defined by my past behavior then my kids aren’t either!” As God’s grace invades our messes, we learn that it’s who we are in Christ that defines us and empowers us to parent differently.  Don’t miss your opportunity to experience this life-changing course with hundreds of others from around the world! To learn more: Read through our Frequently Asked Questions about this online course. Register for our Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart online course. (Offered two times a year; fall and winter. Frustrated by constant discipline challenges? Take 15 minutes to read our free ebook 4 Messages All Children Long to Hear: A Discipline That Connects Overview Related PostsConnecting With Your Kids…Especially When They Struggle | Ep. 24Guiding Kids to Right Their Wrongs | Ep. 26Mentoring Our Kids in Skills, Wisdom and Faith | Ep. 25The Small Magnet That is Making a BIG DifferenceWalking in Peace and Joy with Your Kids | Ep. 23

Today, Stacy Bellward interviews Jim and Lynne Jackson as they dive deep into ways to correct kids’ misbehavior with the message, “You are RESPONSIBLE for your actions”. Misbehavior is like the tip of the iceberg. If we make misbehavior our primary focus we miss guiding our children toward lasting change and growth. During this episode, all four parts of the Connected Families Framework are brought together.  “You are SAFE with me.” What’s going on with me? Can I exchange my inner angst for God’s grace and truth so my child feels safe? “You are LOVED no matter what.” Express unconditional love, which often brings a child to repentance. “You are CALLED & CAPABLE.” Coach my child toward wiser choices and better use of their gifts; solve the problem together. You are RESPONSIBLE for your actions.” Hold a child accountable to make right what they’ve made wrong. In this episode we talk through: teaching your kids what it means to make right what they’ve made wrong. the story of a young boy who hits his sibling and reconciles well. how parents might respond when a teen misses the bus.  Want to learn more? Download our eBook Four Messages Every Child Longs To Hear Read this article about cultivating respect in your child. Register for our Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart online course. It is offered each year in the spring and fall. Like what you hear? Be sure to subscribe to Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode! Frustrated by constant discipline challenges? Take 15 minutes to read our free ebook 4 Messages All Children Long to Hear: A Discipline That Connects Overview. Related Posts4 Steps to Change Your Child’s BehaviorBeing Present with Our KidsGuiding Kids to Right Their Wrongs | Ep. 26Raising Entitled Kids? Here’s How to Stop.The Joy of Family Chores: A Tale of Two Moms

Stacy Bellward is joined by Jim and Lynne Jackson to talk about a message that is essential for discipline situations: You are LOVED no matter what!  Why is this necessary? Don’t kids already know they are loved? During the frustration of misbehavior, kids can easily internalize a perception that their parents don’t like them. If we don’t intentionally communicate the message “You are LOVED no matter what” during challenges, kids will only become more discouraged. And if they believe they have to perform well to be loved, that can weave insecurity into the very fabric of their lives. In this podcast we discuss in-depth what it looks like to practically bring “love-no-matter-what” into daily discipline challenges. We explore the questions:   What can we do to prevent performance-based insecurity?  Start with a heart to sincerely connect with your child, not to manipulate them. Then offer the same kind of connection that is natural in your relationship in non-conflict situations – like touch, humor, or verbal affection. Doesn’t this let kids off the hook when they misbehave?  It actually helps keep them on the hook. Communicating love in the midst of misbehavior earns parents the respect needed to guide children to make right what they’ve made wrong. (See Romans 2:4)  What does “love-no-matter-what” look like in real life? In today’s podcast, Nichole, an adoptive mom with six kids, shares her story with strategies for connecting during misbehavior and the impact it’s had in her family. Want to learn more? Download the free Romans 8:38,39 adaption mentioned in the podcast. Register for our Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart online course.Download our eBook Four Messages Every Child Longs to Hear.Like what you hear? Be sure to subscribe to Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode! Related PostsConnecting with Toddlers & Teens During DisciplineThis Is Better Than My Old Consequences for a Disrespectful ChildUnconditional Love: 15 Reasons to Show Love-No-Matter-What to Your KidsYour Child’s Misbehavior: A Cry for Help?

Being an emotionally safe parent is not about being soft or lenient. It’s also not suppressing our anxiety and frustration and trying to look calm when we discipline our kids. If we engage with a heart attitude of “What is wrong with you?!” our kids won’t feel safe with us.  The starting place for making your home a safe haven is to take an honest look at how you might be contributing to the conflict with your child.  When you engage with a heart of grace and a sense of purpose for the discipline situation, it’s much easier to help your child feel emotionally safe.  In this podcast, Stacy Bellward interviews Jim and Lynne Jackson, co-founders of Connected Families about the foundational principle in the Discipline that Connects With Your Child’s Heart online course: What does it mean to be an emotionally safe parent? You’ll hear an amazing story written by a parent who transformed  her relationship with her troubled child through the principle of emotional safety. This podcast and story hold lots of practical ideas you can apply today! If you don’t have time to listen, read our article Becoming An Emotionally Safe Parent.  Like what you hear? Be sure to subscribe to Connected Families podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode! To learn more about Connected Families framework for parenting download our eBook Four Messages Every Child Longs to Hear. Related Posts“I dealt with big behavior by trying to control it and shut it down.”3 Sure-Fire Discipline Tips for When the Heat is On!Fear-Based Compliance vs. Heartfelt Obedience: How to Avoid One & Inspire the OtherHow to Become an Emotionally Safe ParentTo Spank or Not to Spank?

We’re in back-to-school season, bringing all the joy and anxiety that comes with it. One question we hear when we talk with parents is, “What do I do when my child won’t get ready for school on time?” This week Stacy Bellward and Jim Jackson interview Chad Hayenga, LMFT and parent coach about how to respond in a kind, but firm, way to this high-stress time of day.  Short answer: The natural impact, without parental intervention, is what will be the greatest teacher.   Listen in as we explore a deeper dive into this frustrating issue:  Step 1 – IDENTIFY: Be clear in your expectations and ensure that your child has the ability to understand and clearly knows what to do to get out the door. Step 2 – EMPOWER: If kids are struggling, empower them to identify exactly what they may need from you to help them get going in the morning. Step 3 – TRANSFER: Try to avoid lecturing and nagging and implement your plan so you transfer the weight of responsibility to the child. One resource we recommend is our free eBook Consequences That Actually Work where you will learn about natural, logical, and restitution consequences. Want to learn more? Subscribe to catch each episode on Apple Podcasts or wherever you find podcasts.Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for consistent encouragement in your parenting journey. Related PostsAre You Tired of Having to Nag Your Kids? | Ep. 35Are Your Mornings Brutal?Avoiding Power Struggles Is Simpler Than You Think

Your child is escalating quickly and you have a pretty good idea where this is headed. You know the scenario…the anger turns to screaming, which then becomes a full-blown tantrum.  Pretty soon your child hits YOU. In today’s episode Stacy Bellward and Jim Jackson interview Lynne Jackson, OTR as she helps to answer the question: “What should I do when my child is so out of control they hit me?!” She draws on her occupational therapy knowledge to help us understand how brain function impacts this tough dilemma. The quick answer: Work to figure out and verbalize what your child’s hands are trying to say. If their mouth could say it, their hands wouldn’t need to. If it continues, try to find the most loving way possible to keep everyone physically safe. In this podcast we’ll explore this common scenario based on the Connected Families Framework: FOUNDATION: You are safe with me. What’s going on in you? Are you responding back with anger because you are embarrassed or ashamed? (“What is wrong with this kid?!”)  Instead, step away with calming thoughts like: “This is normal.” or “These emotions are too big for my child.”CONNECT: You are loved no matter what. Heartfelt, sincere empathy is very powerful. State what your child is feeling and wanting.COACH: You are capable… of using your words to solve problems. Help your child with the messy process of gradually learning respectful self-advocacy as you teach emotional awareness outside of conflict times.CORRECT: You are responsible for your actions. Help your child choose a way to use their hands to restore the connection in the relationship.  As mentioned in this podcast, the Connected Families framework is also available on a magnet that is available for purchase. Keep it visible anywhere you typically look, for constant reminders and encouragement in your parenting! To learn more about the topic of your child being too physical when they are angry, order our Discipline That Connects book and take a look at the appendix on aggression. Also, consider registering for our 8-session online course of Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart that we offer twice a year. Want to learn more? Subscribe to catch each episode on Apple Podcasts or wherever you find podcasts. Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ConnectedFamilies/ and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/connectedfams/“ Subscribe to never miss an episode! Related Posts20 Beautiful Empathy Statements to Show Kids You Really See ThemAre You or Your Child Addicted to Anger?How to Create a Simple Sensory Diet for Restless, Homebound Kids | Ep. 30My Child Says, “I Hate You!” | Ep. 6Why Is My Child So Angry? The #1 Unexpected Reason & Practical Steps to TakeWhy Punching a Pillow When Angry Doesn’t Really Help Your Child

“I don’t WANT to practice my trumpet.” “My piano teacher is mean!” “I don’t have time to practice with all this homework. I want to quit!” Sound familiar? In today’s podcast, Stacy Bellward and Jim Jackson interview Chad Hayenga, LMFT and parent coach to explore how our parenting framework gives insight into the question: ”What should I do when my tween wants to quit music lessons?” Quick answer: In most cases, help your child understand that it’s important to stick to their commitments (for the duration of that commitment), and provide the support your child needs.  Listen to our full podcast to explore:  SAFE: Is the word “quit” a trigger for you, the parent, for some reason? LOVED/CONNECT: Can you understand and empathize with what it’s like to be your child? Maybe there’s a very logical reason why music lessons are not working. CAPABLE: How might you encourage capability in a way your child would receive: “I know this is hard, but you can do this hard thing!”? RESPONSIBLE: How do I help my child develop a sense of ownership for this?  In conclusion: Be in prayer and ask God for wisdom about this difficult decision.  Encourage your kids even as you keep them responsible for their commitments. But if music lessons (or any other commitment!) isn’t benefiting your child don’t let it cost you the relationship. Find other ways for your child to learn responsibility.  To learn more about our parenting framework, download our FREE ebook Four Messages Every Child Longs To Hear. </p> Want to learn more? Subscribe to catch each episode on Apple Podcasts or wherever you find podcasts.Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ConnectedFamilies/ and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/connectedfams/ Subscribe to never miss an episode! Related PostsHelping Kids Thrive Despite Rejection from a Teacher or StudentsParents and Sports: How to Let the Kids Have Fun AgainWhat to Do When Your Child Has a Hard Time LosingWhose Life Is It Anyway?You Don’t Want to Micromanage Your Family: How to Stop Parenting With Anxiety

Your child has just told you something you are pretty sure is not truthful.  What should you do? Do you call them out on it? Should there a serious consequence?  In today’s podcast episode Stacy Bellward and Jim Jackson interview Chad Hayenga, LMFT, and parent coach. Together they tackle the challenging question: “What should I do when my child lies to me?”  The quick answer is:  Think of your big reactions like fertilizer. If you put big emotional intensity into calling out lying, you’re likely to get more of it. Take notice when your child tells the truth and give that a lot of positive attention.  In this episode we address: How to give big intensity to truth-telling instead of lying.How to ask questions that set kids up to tell the truth, rather than questions that trap. Even when  your child lies, how to stay emotionally safe as a parent so you don’t allow your child to control your emotions.  Consider this:  If you stop giving big energy to lying and start giving big energy to truth-telling, over time, where might you be?  In this podcast we mention our Discipline That Connects online course. This course works to equip and encourage parents in many areas of parenting (including lying) using our parenting framework as the filter. This 8-session online course will be offered twice a year and is also available anytime as a small group.  We’d love to see you there! Want to learn more? Subscribe to catch each episode on Apple Podcasts or wherever you find podcasts.Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ConnectedFamilies/ and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/connectedfams/ Related Posts3 Ways To Help When Your Child Refuses To Do Schoolwork5 Powerful Ways to Connect with a Teen Who LiesSo You Killed The Cat….Now What?Teaching Truthfulness: 4 Loving Actions To Help the Child Who LiesYour Child’s Misbehavior: A Cry for Help?

Words are powerful.  We can so easily take it personally when we hear hurtful words from our children like,  “I HATE YOU!” But instead of reacting in frustration and anger, we encourage you to look below the surface. There may be deep reasons why the child might feel anxious, discouraged or ashamed in a way that is coming out in those aggressive words.  Jim Jackson and Stacy Bellward welcome Lynne Jackson, OTR and parent coach to the show. Lynne is an occupational therapist and brings practical brain-based knowledge and years of experience to this topic.  Today’s episode covers: underlying causes including sensory, emotional, developmental factors that play a role in the words that children say.how you can respectfully and constructively help your children navigate big emotions that drive the hurtful words.the “language of emotions.” (Here’s the link for the feelings poster mentioned.) When your child says, “I hate you!” they’re doing the best they can to tell you something else. Take a breath, then say, “I can see that you’re very, very angry!”  If this topic hits home for you, download our free Helping Kids with Anger e-book (https://connectedfamilies.org/anger-ebook/) to take steps towards peaceful parenting and connection, today. Want to learn more? Subscribe to catch each episode on Apple Podcasts or wherever you find podcasts.Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ConnectedFamilies/ and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/connectedfams/Subscribe to never miss an episode! Related Posts“Go Away, I Want MOMMY!”Are You or Your Child Addicted to Anger?My Child Hits Me | Ep. 9This Is Better Than My Old Consequences for a Disrespectful ChildTo Spank or Not to Spank?Why Is My Child So Angry? The #1 Unexpected Reason & Practical Steps to Take“Mommy, I’m Gonna KILL You!”

Have you ever wondered, “My child can’t manage to even take the garbage out. How will she ever survive in adulthood?” Or, maybe it sounds more like, “I do so much for these kids. Why can’t they do a few simple things to help out?!” Today’s episode is loaded with tools and will give you a lot to think about as Jim Jackson and Stacy Bellward talk with Connected Families parent coach Chad Hayenga and pull apart the question, “What should I do when my kids won’t do their chores without my nagging?” In today’s episode you’ll learn: Effective use of “when/then” statementsThe link between clear expectations and kind and firm accountabilityInsight into what compels parents to nag their kids  How to help those distractible kidsHow to link privileges to responsibilities in an encouraging way Ready to go deeper on this topic? Our 4-session online course, “The Entitlement Fix” (also available for small groups!) will give your family the tools you need to grow gratefulness and hard work. At only $23, we feel that this is a fantastic value. If that isn’t in your budget, check out our scholarship options.   Want to learn more? Subscribe to catch each episode on Apple Podcasts or wherever you find podcasts.Follow us on Facebook and Instagram Related PostsAre You Tired of Having to Nag Your Kids? | Ep. 35Chores: The Constant ChallengeHow to Have a Great Summer Without Pestering Your Kids | Ep. 36Raising Entitled Kids? Here’s How to Stop.The Joy of Family Chores: A Tale of Two MomsYou Don’t Want to Micromanage Your Family: How to Stop Parenting With Anxiety“Help! How on Earth Do I Get My Kids to Do Chores?”

It’s summer and the kids are home from school. Is the constant fighting and bickering more than you can take?  This week we welcome Lynne Jackson, parent coach and co-founder of Connected Families. She brings stories and practical solutions you can apply (today!) to the sibling conflict in your home. Your big take-away from this podcast:  Enter with big, sincere empathy for both kids (conflict is hard!) and then, as they begin to settle down, guide them toward their own solution.  To help make this practical we’ll introduce you to The Peace Process. This will give you a simple and memorable path down off “crazy mountain” toward true reconciliation: calm (calm ourselves and help kids calm down)understand (empathize with your kids and help them understand each other)solve (use questions to help kids solve their problem)celebrate (highlight and recognize what went well)  We expand on these ideas in our 5-session online course Sibling Conflict: From Bickering to Bonding (also available for small groups!) In this course we equip you with lots of practical tools so your kids can learn to resolve their own conflicts well. Could you use a little peace in your home? Join us today! Related Posts5 Ways to Find Sanity During Family Car Trips52 Out-of-the-Box Family Bonding ActivitiesHow to Have a Great Summer Without Pestering Your Kids | Ep. 36Is Your Child Not Sharing? 4 Strategies to Help Your Child Learn to ShareShould I Require Fighting Kids to Apologize?Tired of Sibling Fighting?When Out-of-Control Kids Can’t Hear Your Gentle VoiceWhy Do Siblings Fight So Much? The Good News and the Bad News