Chatabix

Now it's Joe's turn to run while David watches him. Joe's decided he wants to try and break his record time for running 1k. David has taken on the role of run coach telling Joe 'lets get fast'. It's really cold out and starting to rain so Joe's not that keen to get out of the car. After a bit of moaning from Joe, David starts the stopwatch and shouts motivational comments over zoom. After a false start due to giggling Joe sprints off. Watch a clip of this ep on You Tube www.youtube.com/@chatabixpodcast Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

David is in heaven when he meets Tony Guyan who was the floor manager of Fawlty Towers from many years ago. When Joe and David find out it was Tony's job to rearrange the letters on the Fawlty Towers sign at the start of each ep to ‘Flowery Twats’ they freak out. Tony tells them about one of the shows most iconic scenes and how it was his job to give John Cleese a choice of branches to whack the broken down car with, standing just off camera to hand them to him. This blows their mind even further. Regrettably, Tony tells them he turned down an offer to work on the second series for a tv show none of them can remember. He also once forgot Bernard Cribbins name at a very crucial moment. If you're a fan of TV nostalgia and old sitcoms you'll love this ep as much as David and Joe. For Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Follow us Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Follow us Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Join us Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Watch us You Tube: www.youtube.com/@chatabixpodcast Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

David's going for a run. After a bit of procrastination, some rain and a couple of tech issues he's not made it out of the front door. Thirteen minutes in and David still hasn't left. After some gentle persuasion from Joe he's off, but set's off too fast. Unfortunately he's too puffed out to talk and they end up giggling when David passes a neighbour in his dressing gown. Joe watches David puff his way around a cul de sac complaining his lungs are hurting. Desite his heavy breathing David manages to tell Joe a story about a guy who saw him on the beach in Antigua who said he looked strong. They decide that for the next pod Joe has to try and break his record for a 5k. Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This ep is from the Chatavaults and was originally released in Feb 2023. This is the one where David and Joe suggest Paul Gorton should go on Traitors saying he'd be really good on it. And so the seed is planted ! Paul is well up for it, even though he's not seen any of series 1 and knows nothing about the show. It turns out Joe didn't know anyone who worked on it so that was a waste of time. They also talk about who would make a good Deal Or No Deal host Richard Madeley, Titchmarsh or Nick Knowles. Paul tells them that he and Noel did the nosey posey with one of the contestants before revealing he has managed to track down the episode he was in! Joe and David are raring to see it. Paul Gorton is currently appearing in BBC show The Traitors UK series 2. https://www.instagram.com/paulgorton/ Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This ep is from the Chatavaults and was originally released in Nov 2022. Paul Gorton is back for the third time to talk about his Deal or No Deal experience. He's eighteen shows down and tells us that Daddy has now left. Paul is asked to be the new Daddy of the team which he's thrilled about. He tells them about the holding pen for the contestants. David wants to know details about the set. Noel Edmunds tells Paul off for disrupting the show as he needs yet another wee. David and Joe realise Paul is playing the long game and will definitely be back for another episode. Paul Gorton is currently in BBC One show The Traitors UK S2. https://www.instagram.com/paulgorton/ Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This ep is from the Chatavaults. It first went out in August 2022 long before Paul Gorton applied to go on The Traitors. He originally got in touch with Chatabix as David and Joe wanted to talk to someone who had been on a game show. As a past contestant on Deal or No Deal with Noel Edmunds, Paul had lots of great stories to tell. They all got on like a house on fire and the rest, as they say, is history. Paul Gorton is currently in the BBC show The Traitors UK (series 2) https://www.instagram.com/paulgorton/ Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This ep is from the Chatavaults and was originally released in Sept 2022. Paul Gorton is back with loads more anecdotes from his 'Deal or No Deal' days. He tells us tales of backstage camaraderie and gives a glimpse into the mind games going on with Noel Edmunds. It's the first time Paul met Noel so he was a bit nervous. David asks what Noel was wearing and they have a long conversation about his hair. Paul tells David & Joe about the dodgy hotel the contestants stayed in, feeling more confident on the show, trying to remember the box numbers and a very awkward kiss ! Paul Gorton is currently in BBC One show The Traitors UK S2. https://www.instagram.com/paulgorton/ Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're three episodes in and this just got even better. Joe and David get to the meat of the latest episode of BBC show The Traitors UK. They can't believe what they have just seen. One of the eyebrow raising contestants, Paul Gorton is a regular guest on Chatabix so they have a vested interest. SPOILER ALERT: If you've not watched Ep 3 Traitors then watch it before listening to this ! Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

More analysis from David and Joe as they deep dive into the second episode of The Traitors UK. Joe decides he doesn't want to be a traitor as he'd have to stay up later than the others. Chatabix regular Paul Gorton is blossoming on the show. SPOILER ALERT: If you've not watched Ep 2 Traitors then watch it before listening to this ! Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

David & Joe are giddy with excitement watching the first episode of The Traitors UK (S2) as Chatabix regular Paul Gorton is one of the contestants. In this ep they dissect the first episode. SPOILER ALERT: If you've not watched Ep 1 Traitors then watch it before listening to this ! Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

David starts with a rant about The Rest Is Politics and how good they are compared to Chatabix. They talk about doing a live show and what it might look like, then talk themselves out of it. David says he could be persuaded if Joe insisted but is concerned it wouldn't be good value for money. David had a shout out for his son on Talk Sport and Joe discovers he's got the same floor tiles as Andy Goldstein has in the bog. After discussing this ep, they decide it really isn't good enough and David worries it will scupper his chances of buying a villa in Antigua. They decide to rally the troups by doing a heart felt plea to the listeners asking them to share the pod and leave (only good) reviews. Moving on David tells Joe about trashing a hotel room when he was 18 on a football tour. Disclaimer: if his mums listening, he had a minor role and only threw toilet rolls. They talk about the ringleader and David shows Joe a piccie. If you like the pod, please, please spread the word and 'Pass The Bix' to your freinds, neighbours and anyone else you can think of who might like it ! #doublethenumbers Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

David and Joe have a big announcement to make. Something they have been keeping quiet for a long time. What can it be ? Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The stress of having more listeners is worrying Joe and David. They wonder if they’ve hit a ceiling in the podcast world questioning if anyone actually like's them. They worry it's only a matter of time before people catch on they don't know what they are doing. Moving on they talk about stand up and doing twitch. Joe refuses to talk about it but David grinds him down. David admits he is a bit embarrassed about doing twitch in his office on his own. Joe admits he was worried about what David would think when a photo of him taken at a gig was on twitter. They discuss how unhealthy everything they do is and how they spend a lot of time sitting about. Changing the subject, David tells Joe he stopped midrun when doing couch to 5k on holiday because he heard lots of dogs barking so he just walked home. Joe probes further and David admits he thought the dogs might have rabies and bite him. They talk about the size of Joe's new monitor. Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Joe’s not sure if he wants to know about David’s recent holiday but they plough on, talking about how comfortable David felt having his top off. David calls himself Big Daddy D and they chat about how lovely it is swimming in the sea even if you hate your body. David tells Joe how he got carried away on holiday and bought a local antiguan bracelet which felt right at the time but embarrassing when you get it home. They try to work out what size house the Off Menu pod could afford in Antigua. David tells Joe how he paid ridiculously over the top for breakfast and was driven to a cash point because he was too embarrassed to say 'this all feels a bit fishy'. They also worry they do too much podding as struggle to relax and do normal stuff without thinking about how it will affect the pod. Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the last episode for 2023 and David and Joe are having a christmas party with regular guests Andy Goldstein, Natalie Cassidy, 'Deal or No Deal Saga' Paul Gorton, music reviewer Steve Baker, gigging diaries Rosie, TV Joe and editor James. Joe has bought them all presents to open on the pod but unfortunately not all of them have arrived on time. They try to persuade Nat's husband to do a magic trick but he's not having it. TV Joe hosts a few rounds of Name That Tune but is struggling with a festive hangover. It descends into chaos. David decides to get a patreon on (who goes by the name of Big Bum) at the end. Ho ho ho. Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Specialist guest George Aitken was in the Royal Navy Submarines for 10 years. David & Joe have a thousand questions for him but start with small talk about coming from the Isle Of Wight, filming in Lymington and Howards Way. David gets claustrophobia and wants to know about people who have lost their minds on board, how much space he'd have down there and what would happen if he had a panic attack. George tells them there are 100 or more crew living in a confined space and it can get a bit stinky. Joe reckons he would be fine living in a tube underwater as it would be cosy. They talk about stalking other submarines to gain intel and using mini subs to get to the surface to undertake secret missions James Bond style. David asks if they've ever come across an unidentified mass on the sonar. George says this is usually a whale or a giant squid mating with the submarine. Joe asks if there is any truth behind the saying of having a girl in every port. Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

David & Joe are struggling to come up with new drivel so after discussing if Chatabix would send you to sleep on the morning commute they resume listing comedians names from the Chortle website. David starts reading names beginning with the letter G. Joe has to answer yes or no if he knows them and tell David an anecdote. Joe tries to think of one piece of information for each comedian including Imran Yusuf's dinosaur impression. Continuing on with the letter J, Jamie Demetriou get's a drum roll. There are lots of comedians starting with J, they power through until Joe gives up the will to live. Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the final round of the Battle of the Chatabands. Joe, David & Steve review three songs chosen at random and give them a score. The song with the highest score goes through to the final. The three of them are not enjoying their new found roles as music reviewers and worry they are being judged for their musical opinions. Joe wants to hear something that sounds like Looking For Linda and David favours a punk tune. They struggle to find something that makes them tingle until they listen to the final song. Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Comedy actor and writer Jamie Demitriou is on the pod. It doesn't get off to a good start as he has trouble with his wifi and has to walk around the house. When they eventually settle in Jamie tells them it was a career highlight working on Joe & David's sitcom Rovers. They talk about Craig Cash having a sit on lawnmower. David & Joe ask Jamie what it's like now he is in massive shows and he tells them he struggles doing an american accent. Jamie then asks them both a difficult question about how they feel working with each other. It get's a bit awkward, David says he's bought Joe a surf board so that about covers it. Moving on they talk about how brilliant Stath Let's Flat's was. Jamie tells them he got writers block during lockdown and sought inspiration in his local post office. They move on to discussing their toilet habits and Jamie tells them a couple of amusing anecdotes before confessing to being a forever fan. Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

David & Joe are not sure what topic to talk about on the pod today so decide upon Chatadates. David puts a message on Patreon to see if there are any chatabiscuits who are interested in a date. Harry pops up on the zoom and tells them all about himself. Joe plays Cilla and asks Harry what he's looking for in a partner. Lynsey pops up on zoom and is up for a date but they end up talking about living in Cornwall. Lynsey agrees to be the first person to go on a Chatadate. Harry tells them he'd like to take his date to drink fine wine & play crazy golf. They come up with a dating questionnaire but have a disagreement on what it should look like. Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast Patreon: www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back talking to WW2 Historian Andrew Chatterton who first came on the pod in August 2023 to tell David & Joe all about Britains secret defences. This time he takes Joe on a fascinating field trip to Coleshill House, HQ for the Auxiliary Units. It was here the secret resistance learnt how to assasinate people and blow things up. Andrew shows them a disguised chicken shed with a false wall and an upside down horse shoe used as a secret signal. Joe get's to explore an underground bunker and crawl through an escape tunnel while David (who's feeling poorly) watches the excitement unfold on zoom. Andrews book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Britains-Secret-Defences-saboteurs-assassins/dp/163624100X The British Resistance Archive https://www.staybehinds.com/ Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: https://www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Barry Hearn, sport promoter and founder of Matchroom Sport is having trouble getting on the zoom call ! David tells Barry he used to be scared of him when he was 12. Barry tells them stories about boxing greats Mike Tyson and Frank Bruno but admits he was shite at boxing himself. Joe asks what the perfect night would look like as a boxing promoter. He says that a fight between David & Joe could potentially be a big seller. They find out that Barry is best mates with Steve Davis. so they tell him they hugged Steve at the Blur concert. Barry talks about his formative years, growing up on a council estate with short trousers, no money and his mum sending him to elecution lessons. He tells them about his route to success and how he got into the sport promotions world regaling them with funny stories from the golden age of snooker. They ask Barry if he's ever seen the mythical Chris Eubank painting of the Last Supper and are delighted when he confirms it's real ! Barry finishes the ep with some brilliant antidotes from the boxing ring. Read Barry's book My Life https://www.amazon.co.uk/Barry-Hearn-Knockouts-Snookers-Bullseyes/dp/1529393310 Merch: https://chatabixshop.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Insta: https://www.instagram.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's ep we play not one but two Christmas songs we've written for the festive season. David reads out all the names of the Patrons who recorded lyrics for the backing vocals. David & Joe realise they wouldn't cope well without their wives so they call them in to tell them they love them. Petra & Naomi are a bit bemused. David reads out some comments which he's seen on social media about not finishing anything and talking over guests. They talk about getting reviews, Chortle forums and if they're comfortable being podcasters. They play the first christmas song then wonder how they can add some zest to the ep. Joe offers to drive around Brighton pointing out stuff. They play the second christmas song which Joe wrote in a blind panic when he thought the first song couldn't go out. Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chatabix1 Instagram: https://chatabixshop.com/ Patron: https://www.patreon.com/chatabix Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the 2nd round in the Battle of The Chatabands when David, Joe and music producer Steve Baker score three songs out of 10. David is feeling really uncomfortable in his role as a music reviewer. Steve kicks off by telling Joe that Roachford is playing in Brighton. They listen to each song in turn giving their opinion on each one. Joe thinks the first song is grungy, Steve thinks it has high energy while David struggles to review it as feels like a pratt. Joe thinks he loves the 2nd song. David tries to talk him out of liking it despite liking it himself and it reminding him of Biff Bang Pow. Steve agrees with Joe. Scores on the doors Joe gives 7.5, David gives an 8, Steve also gives an 8. David decides he's a punk as the final song sounds like the Pogues. Steve enjoyed it and Joe imagines listening to it in a seafaring pub in Ventnor. Steve reads out the final scores. Which one will be going through to the final ? Follow Chatabix on Twitter & Instagram: twitter.com/chatabix1 www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast/ Patreon for early access to our eps: https://www.patreon.com/chatabix Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When two pods collide, Luisa Zissman (The Apprentice) & Anna Williams (Celebs go Dating) have brought some high energy from LuAnna podcast. Luisa has been putting her Christmas tree up and tells them about her daughters trip to the dentist. Anna is using an AI Assistant but professes to being a tech dinosaur. They tell the lads about booking the London Palladium on a whim for their podcast live. David & Joe tell them about wanting to do a ladies night for a Chatabix Live but Luisa doen't think this is a good business model considering the demographic. They give the lads some business tips for doing a live show which they scribble down. Joe get's distressed when the girls exchange some filthy stories. As a trained Psychoanlyst, Anna offers David & Joe some life coaching to help them get over the fear of doing a live show. Energy levels are up (fleetingly). Follow Chatabix on Twitter & Instagram: twitter.com/chatabix1 www.instagram.com/chatabixpodcast/ Patreon for early access to our eps: https://www.patreon.com/chatabix Merch: https://chatabixshop.com/ Contact us: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices