Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

So when Nic Cage gets to Mallorca...We've got golden guns, we've got hot sauced lemons, we've got Pedro Pascal's enormous head, we've got coked out Nic Cage alter egos. Our head to head this week is 2022's The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent up against 2016's scrappy heist flick, The Trust. What will win? Meta-ness or mustache? This is Cage Match.

What in the name of Zeus' BUTT hole are we doing? 1996 powerhouse Michael Bay flick, The Rock, takes on a real doozy of a remake in 2008's Bangkok Dangerous. Is John Mason really James Bond? Do dick triplets exist? Has Hulkamania ever really left us? Can we please just watch Zardoz? This is Cage Match.

Park it in the horse garage, get a slice of shit-apple pie and hunker down for a deep chat about nasal labial folds. Nick and Sean unpack the new western, The Old Way and learn what it means to cry. This is Bonus Cage Match.

This week's Cage Match pits Nic Cage as a vampire(?) literary agent against a beer swilling, truck driving fuck-master in Vampire's Kiss and Between Worlds. We've hot a highly quotable, highly meme-able episode full of meltdowns and horny, meta-poetry. Hopefully PETA doesn't get involved. This is Cage Match.

Join Nickzach and Seansial on an angelic adventure to decide between 1998's City of Angels and 1995's Kiss of Death. Come for Nic Cage bench pressing a small woman and hot-n-mean Tucci, stay for Dennis Franz's balls and Nick's thumb tricks. This is Cage Match.

We've evolved into multiple timelines in the NCU this week with two time warp movies: 2000's The Family Man takes on 1986's Peggy Sue Got Married. Tune in for Jeremy Piven's dudeoir, if it's pa-Ja-mas or pa-jah-mas and if blood is pee, stay for the antics with our special guest Eric. This is Cage Match.

COVID comes for us all, but specifically Sean and our guest, Eric. Nick and Producer Peter take on the mantle of duty and present a very special episode about The Humanity Bureau. Come learn: how not to do CPR, how to be a real shithead kid, and how to measure radiation. This is Cage Match?

Don't forget your furniture dolly because here comes a truly Fergalicious episode. 2011 3D flick, Drive Angry takes on 2012 heist romp, Stolen. Get the answers you crave to such questions as: how big are the Devil's hands? Can a plasma cutter melt gold? Is there sugar in hell? What is Nick's favorite Cage line this week!? This is Cage Match

Eldritch horrors take on creepy tunnel perverts. What could go wrong? We discuss the merits of Alpacas, Nic Cage's weird accent choices, trucker love and more. Bonus: learn why you should never let Nick have control of a radio. This is Cage Match.

This episode is a real banger. A movie about drinking yourself to death vs a movie about a corporate shill politician, what's not to laugh about? At least we got to talk about Cage wang again... Who reigns victorious between an Oscar winning performance and a "Louisiana" accent? Grab your drink, this is Cage Match.

A Coen Brother's classic, Raising Arizona, matches up against 1994 style comedy, Trapped in Paradise. Can Jon Lovitz and Dana Carvey save the day against two charming baby thieves? Bank robbery, parole boards, a sleigh ride and more. 20 Nicolas Cage movies in and the boys are starting to see the interconnectivity of all Cage flicks....bring your conspiracy yarn, this is Cage Match.

Call up Evan Stone and let him know that there is Nic Cage chicanery afoot. Who wins between a brusque former Marine mistaken for a killer and a CIA agent who has a case of the brains? Canadian Tuxedo or bad prosthetic ear? We're starting to think that Paul Schrader might have the bad bloods. This is Cage Match.

Nicolas Cage, get ready to find out the real National Treasure. Director Jon Turteltaub takes on Jon Turteltaub this week. Who will win between a treasure hunting nerd and a surly wizard based on a short animation. Puzzles, Hadoukens, Step Siblings and more. This episode is for all you physics loving pigs out there.

How does one introduce a Nic Cage comedy podcast episode that covers 9/11 and a serial killer? Oh hey look, it’s 50 Cent in a bad wig! ...please forgive us? This is Cage Match.

Bird of Freedom don't come cheap but $1.38 gets you a sweet sparrow tat on the elbow. Young Nic Cage goes head to head with younger Nic Cage with 1994's It Could Happen to You against 1984's Racing with the Moon. Get ready for spastic dancing, beans to the face and PG rated nuts and butts. This is Cage Match.

A bone-y boy takes on Bogart this week on Cage Match. 2007 Marvel classic, Ghost Rider meets up with Paul Schrader’s 2016 flick, Dog Eat Dog. Well crafted marketing statements, stupid one liners, jelly bean “martinis”, short ribs and ass eating...This is Cage Match.

Don your pigeon suit, don't sprain your butthole and get ready to ride the wicker wagon. It's time for another match up. Sean and Nick...or is it Nick and Sean review Alan Parker's 1984 film Birdy and Neil LaBute's 2006 remake of The Wicker Man. Will art or stupidity win? This is Cage Match.

Oh the rapture! Stunt-man director, Vic Armstrong’s 2014 Opus Dei, Left Behind meets up with wunderkind first-time director, Michael Sarnoski’s 2021 Pig. Piles of clothing, lovingly crafted meals, very few words from Nic Cage. All this and more on this weeks Cage Match

What is a comedy? ...are these? The Spike Jonze 2002 juggernaut, Adaptation matches up against Larry Charles 2016 Army of One. Twins! A weird voice! Masturbation! Dialysis Sword Fight! You'll need soft hands and a soft head on this weeks Cage Match.

Nick and Sean go deep into the cinematic Nic Cage masterpieces: Face/Off by John Woo and Jiu Jitsu by Dimitri Logothetis. Drunken doodles. Swapped genitals. Martial Arts (?). Amnesia. This episode might give you pause. This is Cage Match