Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

To replace the lost episode (stolen laptop) we are back with Gary and Rox to talk 1995’s Kiss of Death and Leaving Las Vegas. How much did Mike Figgis change from the O'Brien book? Is Kiss of Death best watched in a janky YouTube clip or spanish language import Blu Ray? Do male pasties exist? Also, if you're Michael Rapaport you legally have to tell us. This is Cage Match

Join us for a salty caveman-style fight over whether or not Croods 2 is a good movie. Nic Cage in a rare animated voice over role. It's got punch-monkeys. It's got the Dinklage. It's got sleep piles. It's even got Clark Duke! It might look like shit, but it's still pretty fun. This is bonus Cage Match.

Alright, y’all, we recorded this one Texas style with Nic Cage artist: Lunchbox. David Lynch’s 1990 Wild at Heart vs 2021’s Willy’s Wonderland. It’s someone’s birthday for sure so let’s celebrate with a nice round of Bobby Peru Fuck / Marry / Kill and a debate on the legality of face-sitting in the UK. This is Cage Match and we’re making our LUNCH!

The matchup of the bracket: Chris Bauer being a soft-body murder machine and Christian Bale's mom mocking his junk. Obviously this is 1999's 8MM and 2001's Captain Corelli's Mandolin. Special guest, and three time retuning guest, Adam, helps us unpack these two wildly dissimilar movies. Find out: Is one of these movies Snake Eyes? (no). Do we know anything about handguns? (no). Why is Nick so good at looking and sounding like an old lady? (only God knows). Come pick your favorite deviant. This is Cage Match.Join our Patreon at patreon.com/cagematch Follow us @cage_match_pod on Twitter and Instagram!

The bella luna is back, baby! This week we're joined by local guest and friend, Ian to chat about cop staches, family love (yuck), Nick's new crypto, and getting a Bobo in your life. Obviously we're discussing 1994's Guarding Tess and 1987's Moonstruck. Come be charmed by Cher as she tries to pronounce "wolf" and enjoy Nic Cage shooting a dude's toe off. This is Cage Match!

This is a spoiler episode for those who are able to go see it in theaters! The guys review Cage's newest movie: Arcadian. Nic Cage in full dad mode, two teens being teens, some chompy-boys. What more could you ask for (other than a bit less shaky cam). Come for the soup, stay for the wheel. This is bonus Cage Match.

Chris Coffel (Film School Rejects, Bloody Disgusting, Rocket League) joins the gang to fight the good fight. Our bone-y boy returns to take on the flowing locks and round-house kicks of Cameron Poe. This is Con Air vs Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. Find out the best hell vehicle, get your suck tubes ready and turn up the M.C. Gainey. Hon hon hon, this is Cage Match!

Special guest Brian Kim McCormick joins us mostly to talk about Nick’s new calling in life as the writer of Human Centipede 4. We also dive into the joys of Brian Talyor’s Mom and Dad (2017) and the beautiful grotesque that is Panos Cosmotos’ Mandy (2018). We’ve got Buffalo Bill tuck n’ posin’, we’ve got Producer Peter singing, we’ve got at least four buttholes…This is Cage Match.

Cage Dancer, John, joins us again to talk Scorsese's Bringing Out the Dead and David Gordon Green's Joe. On the one hand: I.B. Bangin, double dipping on beef lo mein, and Griss. On the other hand: cool faces, poison axes and the weirdest blowjob. Sean learns what it's like to remote record but also learns the joys of the Discord sound board. This is Cage Match

It's the return of Darryl Edge (Cage Rage, Getting Dafoe You) and somehow we didn't make a single edging joke. We break down the merits of The Weather Man and The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. Meta, meme-centric Cage vs ASMR Cage and a whole mess of fast food. Join the Sad Lads Club to discuss what snakes even look like, how dictionaries used to be organized, and which jam eating bear is best bear. This is Cage Match

2 Chains and JNCO jeans…Get ready to bust a ball in your mouth, it’s The Rock vs National Treasure. Double beans: Sean Bean and Michael Biehn but nary a Mr to be seen. Combustable trolleys and the most dangerous anal beads. Learn the secrets of Turtling from special guest and friend of the pod: Seth! This is Cage Match

Cage Match had a blast with the Cage’s Kiss podcast when they joined us to talk about two truly wacky performances. Vampire’s Kiss walked so Color Out of Space could show alpaca boobs. Are these two of the wildest performances from Cage at two very different junctures in his life? What the fuck is an indescribable color…and where is the g-spot?  Is it okay to be drunk and a little bit horny? This is Cage Match

The Cage Match gang (minus Producer Peter) get around to talking about 2023's baldest Cage yet in Butcher's Crossing. A beautifully shot screensaver of a movie with a huge gnarly Nic Cage beard! ...Is it buffalo or bison? This is bonus Cage Match.

The Cage Match crew are joined by Seattle musician Alex Guy to talk time travel, stupid voices, and wild hair. Raising Arizona's H.I. McDunnough takes on Crazy Charlie in Peggy Sue Got Married. The battle of cartoon crazy hair and an absolutely unhinged voice. We all have our own internal great white jag or maybe it's just a convenience store not even on the way home. Plus! Find out how big a weird goopy Sasquatch can grow in one hour. This is Cage Match

This week we go deeper than a prison wallet and thicker than New Orleans mud. We're joined by the one and only Petros of Caged In: Coppola Connections and Getting Dafoe You to talk about a deep favorite: Red Rock West, and a surprisingly good flick: Stolen. What wins? A pager thriller or a dime store McConaughey? This is Cage Match.

While the producer is away the guys will play. Join Nick and Sean while they discuss Nic Cage's latest movie from A24: Dream Scenario. Get in their heads and dive into the thrilling world of dream discussion! This is bonus Cage Match

Nic Cage is in rare form this week as an goofy but effective wizard and also the world's worst detective with a bee allergy. We're joined by Rich and Josh from the Nic Cage Fight podcast to discuss The Wicker Man and The Sorcerer's Apprentice and Atlantic City. We run the gamut of Cage movies though and get some hard questions answered about angel foreskins. This is Cage Match.

The Nic Cage Podcast Universe (NCPU?) gets a little closer as we're joined by Ryan and Derreck of the Coming of Cage podcast to talk about 2013's The Frozen Ground and 2021's Pig. Two first time directors getting their shot with the man, myth and legend: Nicholas Cage. What was 50 Cents wig budget? If you podcast with someone without knowing the look of their genitals by moonlight are you even really podcasting? These are the questions people demand answers to. This is Cage Match!

Comedian Brandon White joins the Cage Match crew to talk about 90's rom com It Could Happen to You and dark horse contender Army of One. How is Nic Cage charming in both of these role? If you ever want to hear a long discussion of Rosie Perez' teeth, you've come to the right place. Embrace your inner Donkey King and join us on this stupid journey (from God?). This is Cage Match!

Jimmie Herrod lends his dulcet tones to discuss superhero oral, bad CGI and of course: Penis Swap Technology™. Believe us when we say that this is a very face free match up. John Woo's 1997 face toucher tangles with 2007's original boney boy. It's Face/Off vs Ghost Rider (the first one). Welcome back for season 2, baby! This is Cage Match.

For the love of god, Kick-Ass, stop going down crime alley! We discuss Matthew Vaughn's 2010 black comedy, Kick-Ass with past and future guest, Eric. Is this a good movie or just some edgelord shit? Listen to Producer Peter cringe and die over the phrase "Big Daddy". This is (bonus) Cage Match.

Welcome to the bonus episode of Cage Match. We're joined by our friend, Shey (@sheydar5000) to discuss one of the wilder Nic Cage accents to date. We review Hoyt Yeatman's (...yeah) 2009 3d action flick about spy guinea pigs and one Cage-y mole. Find out if this one has boom boom pow or is just a Marcy. This is (bonus) Cage Match.

The little buff boys review newest Cage movie: The Retirement Plan. A weird release plan with no real promotion screws over a fun little lark of a movie. Shaky cam action to cover for an aging badass. Ron Perlman and Jackie Earle Haley are amazing. This is Cage Match (kinda)

We did it! We made it all the way through the first round of the bracket. Are we definitely known now as "The Cage Guys"? Yes. Do we have a ton of Nic Cage swag now? Yes. Did we go mildly insane? Yes. Join us for a look back at season 1. This is Cage Match

Hoo boy, mechanical demonic mayhem up against Gary Sinise's weirdly short face. Can a mute janitor upset a coked out Cage in a sweet shirt and jacket? It's Brian de Palma's 1998 classic, Snake Eyes up against Kevin Lewis' 2021 horror comedy, Willy's Wonderland. Keep your ballistics clean and find out if in 32 episodes Sean finally can nail a segue... This is Cage Match

Werner Herzog and Joel Schumacher in a match up for the ages. 2009's Bad Lieutenant colon Port of Call hyphen New Orleans goes toe to toe with 1999 creep show 8mm this week. On the one hand we have Iguana Vision™, but on the other we have Max California with sick, blue, Flock of Seagulls hair. So what wins in the match of snuff vs heroin? Who has the best dick gun? Why did they promote him to BAD Lieutenant? Where is the safe space to sell porno? This is Cage Match.

Ridley Scott's Matchstick Men vs Hugh Wilson's Guarding Tess. We go deep on safe podcasting, Pangea, how to get kicked out of Communion classes and what the fuck Ridin' Dirty even means. We might not understand how to talk about movies anymore after thirty of these but we sure do try with these two romantic comedies, or are they adult documentaries? This is Cage Match.

The boney boy returns! Dominic Sena's 2000 car masturbation flick, Gone in 60 Seconds takes on Taylor/Neveldine's 2011's Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance's popcorn action. Find out everyone's crime jacket of choice. This is Cage Match. Okay...let's ride

The boys go sans-producer on this one and provide a spoiler-free look at Nic Cage's newest release: Sympathy for the Devil. Cage goes wild with Joel Kinnaman and finally gets to put the Boston accent to good use. Come along for the ride. This is Cage Match

We welcome Darryl Edge of the Cage Rage podcast to discuss some wacky shit. David Lynch's Wild at Heart takes on Alex Proyas' Knowing. We get into some deep chats about the new rules for The Rapture and how to deal with Kevin fuckin' Sorbo. The guys teach Darryl about spider season in the Pacific Northwest and he chides us about our cowardice in the content of family films. We may or may not actually talk about these movies but that's all about Personal Freedom! This is Cage Match!

Ooh boy...Sorry, Italy. Some of the absolute worst accent work in 2001's Captain Corelli's Mandolin against 2005's Lord of War. Grab your uzi and your Pellegrino. This is Cage Match.

It's a Honeymoonstruck in Vegas episode! Some of the best character names to ever be put to film and Elvis only weddings. 1987's Moonstruck with an Oscar winning performance from Cher goes up against 1992's Honeymoon in Vegas and James Caan's loaded poker match. Find out how to ward off the Devil and why Nick's Diet Coke tastes so bad. This is Cage Match.

Pop on your Crime Jacket...it's crime time. Simon West's 1997 criminal action romp, Con Air enters a knife fight with Paco Cabezas' 2014 gun safety PSA, Rage (or Tokarev depending on where in the world you were). We tackle the hard hitting questions like: how many mall knives does Cage own? Is Buscemi's serial killer the secret hero of Con Air? How much work went into making a Dave Chappelle corpse puppet? Hard hitting stuff. This is Cage Match

The good news is that any time we fuck up we can just jump back two minutes and start fresh. The bad news is that this week we are reviewing 2017's Mom & Dad and 2007's Next. Loosely bottled rage about paternity and child murder against a charlatan with a stupid magic power and a stupider name. This is Cage Match.

Bust out your Big Dog Energy because this week we have 1999's Bringing Out The Dead about a burned out EMT and 2002's World War II epic, Windtalkers. Powerhouse casts in both movies but the real cherry on top is Ving Rhames with hair. Despite all the director and star power, these are two box office flops for Martin Scorsese and John Woo. But really, what kind of name is I.B. Bangin'? This is Cage Match.

This week we get a real time capsule movie in 1983's Valley Girl having a food fight with 2005's The Weather Man. Can Cage's first leading man role outdo a bow wielding and down trodden Cage? 80's vibrancy vs a sodden bleige. What's the Spritz Nipper this week?! Come for the haiku, stay for the Cage Match.

Nic Cage is the white jag of our hearts. This week treasure hunter/historian extraordinaire, Benjamin Franklin Gates goes toe to toe with a drunk and surly Frank Walsh. It's 2004's National Treasure vs 2019's Primal. Bad CGI animals and OG 3d glasses. This is Cage Match. White jag!

Holy shit what a ride that was. Weirdest theater in Seattle aside, we got the pleasure of watching Nic Cage's newest flick, Renfield. Bug eating, arm ripping, scene chewing mayhem. Do yourselves a favor and go see this movie in theaters before it goes away. This is (bonus) Cage Match.

Lumberjacks, cultists, samurai and cowboys. This week's Cage Match runs the gamut of weirdo art films as 2018's Mandy goes up against 2021's Prisoners of the Ghostland (Thanks XYZ Films!). See Nic Cage as a "lovable" lumberjack on a mission and a bomb-suit wearing hero in a post apocalyptic world! We're joined by special guests Alex and Sami from Star Trek: The Original Siblings. Come for the van art and stay for the narrative bloody butts. This is Cage Match

Do you suffer from erectile dysfunction? This week we pumped the zydeco, made a Cool Face™, went through a windshield at 4 o'clock in the morning and we don't give a fuck! 2013's aggressive but good-hearted Joe dukes it out with 1991's horny New Orleans affair flick: Zandalee. Did Sean crack segues yet? No, but he does know how to go hard in the paint in this Cage Match.

So when Nic Cage gets to Mallorca...We've got golden guns, we've got hot sauced lemons, we've got Pedro Pascal's enormous head, we've got coked out Nic Cage alter egos. Our head to head this week is 2022's The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent up against 2016's scrappy heist flick, The Trust. What will win? Meta-ness or mustache? This is Cage Match.

What in the name of Zeus' BUTT hole are we doing? 1996 powerhouse Michael Bay flick, The Rock, takes on a real doozy of a remake in 2008's Bangkok Dangerous. Is John Mason really James Bond? Do dick triplets exist? Has Hulkamania ever really left us? Can we please just watch Zardoz? This is Cage Match.

Park it in the horse garage, get a slice of shit-apple pie and hunker down for a deep chat about nasal labial folds. Nick and Sean unpack the new western, The Old Way and learn what it means to cry. This is Bonus Cage Match.

This week's Cage Match pits Nic Cage as a vampire(?) literary agent against a beer swilling, truck driving fuck-master in Vampire's Kiss and Between Worlds. We've hot a highly quotable, highly meme-able episode full of meltdowns and horny, meta-poetry. Hopefully PETA doesn't get involved. This is Cage Match.

Join Nickzach and Seansial on an angelic adventure to decide between 1998's City of Angels and 1995's Kiss of Death. Come for Nic Cage bench pressing a small woman and hot-n-mean Tucci, stay for Dennis Franz's balls and Nick's thumb tricks. This is Cage Match.

We've evolved into multiple timelines in the NCU this week with two time warp movies: 2000's The Family Man takes on 1986's Peggy Sue Got Married. Tune in for Jeremy Piven's dudeoir, if it's pa-Ja-mas or pa-jah-mas and if blood is pee, stay for the antics with our special guest Eric. This is Cage Match.

COVID comes for us all, but specifically Sean and our guest, Eric. Nick and Producer Peter take on the mantle of duty and present a very special episode about The Humanity Bureau. Come learn: how not to do CPR, how to be a real shithead kid, and how to measure radiation. This is Cage Match?

Don't forget your furniture dolly because here comes a truly Fergalicious episode. 2011 3D flick, Drive Angry takes on 2012 heist romp, Stolen. Get the answers you crave to such questions as: how big are the Devil's hands? Can a plasma cutter melt gold? Is there sugar in hell? What is Nick's favorite Cage line this week!? This is Cage Match

Eldritch horrors take on creepy tunnel perverts. What could go wrong? We discuss the merits of Alpacas, Nic Cage's weird accent choices, trucker love and more. Bonus: learn why you should never let Nick have control of a radio. This is Cage Match.

This episode is a real banger. A movie about drinking yourself to death vs a movie about a corporate shill politician, what's not to laugh about? At least we got to talk about Cage wang again... Who reigns victorious between an Oscar winning performance and a "Louisiana" accent? Grab your drink, this is Cage Match.