Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

Get jacked and stacked and never forget to ABJ. We're talking the blandest movie ever with four time guest, Adam. We've been saddled with some doozies but this one might be the most nothing movie to exist. You'd think a movie about an unhinged egg donor would have some intrigue but you would be wrong. At least we had fun...This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks

Content Warning: This movie is about a brutal SAPut on your robe, it's time for an all remote episode with Nick on janky hotel wifi. Here we go! It's 2017's Vengeance: A Love Story. We're smack dab in the ham-faced realm of medium okay Cage movies and this is no exception. We're joined again by Hellpockets himself: Christopher Fields. This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks

Hop on into the murder hole but don't forget your slo-mo and plastic sheeting. We're talking good ol' boys and the importance of brothers of all types. So of course we brought Producer Peter's brother, Phillip on for a dive into 2017's Arsenal. It's the return of Nic Cage's weirdly favorite (?) character: Eddie King. Now with more nose and less accent! This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks

Ohh boy, we're back with more Oliver Stone. This time instead of 9/11 we're tackling DHS and NSA hellscapes! Joining the party are Freeman and Elizabeth who lend their insights into data security and selling marketing. Don't worry though, it's not all bleak spooks tracking us, we get the usual nonsense in the mix too. This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks

Described as part of Nic Cage's "genuinely befuddling and perhaps sad phase", we are joined by friend and guest Kyle P to talk about 2015's Chinese cinema great: Outcast. Cage stars opposite a bland Hayden Christensen as "White Ghost". Join us and find out how many snakes is the correct amount of snakes...This is Cage MatchIntro music by: Bill Panks

Pile up, gang, we're talking The Croods. Will Nick love the original Croods more than the sequel? What is your favorite weird hybrid critter? Does anyone remember Clark Duke? Prepare for some weird audio for some reason and Nick's least favorite character list. This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks

Grab your pissdog, it's a semi-intense thriller by the director of Dante's Peak so we of course mostly discuss anal insertions. Let's go deep with master pissers, secret societies, vindictive murder, January Jones, and hair plugs. Also, why does Producer Peter look so good with Guy Pierce's hairline? This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks

Alright boy-not-boys, load up your butt guns because we're blasting off with 2009's Astroboy. Nic Cage joins us as a dour science daddy in a drab 3D animated kids flick. Grab your roller skates, pump your Billy the Fridge and get ready to bust. This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks

Ooh boy, here we go. It's 3 hours of movie time without Nic Cage with a cameo in a fake trailer as a racist caricature. What have we done? Cage Dancer John joins us to talk about the 2007 grind house films Planet Terror (Robert Rodriguez) and Death Proof (Quentin Tarantino). It's campy, it's stupid, but is it fun? Hold onto your ball jar, this is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks

Hot damn, it's a NEW, in theaters, Nic Cage movie. Lotfy (totally not Lofty) Nathan's new movie about the Infancy Gospel of Thomas, kinda, and exploring the life and times of angsty teen Jesus. Oh wait, sorry, "The Boy". Nic Cage plays a SoCal style father figure while FKA Twigs purses her lips really hard. Will Nick keep his oath? Are devils chickens? Mouthy ones only today. This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks

Oh lord, here we go. It's another animated Cage movie. This time by the studio that brought the horrid eyesore Jimmy Neutron to life. So of course we end up talking about Orson Welles and ant magic instead. Oh, and grandmas fuck now. This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks

The most important lesson here is that if you're ever feeling like the cock of the walk after winning your first hand of gin...maybe don't get right into your car. We're obviously talking Sonny this episode. Nic Cage's one and only directing attempt. You have to deal with some James Franco face, but it might be worth it. Keep it in your pants, Halloween Ted. This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks

Get ready to jig and reverse jig your way to debtor's prison...because we're talking Christmas Carol: The Movie...and no, it's not the Zemeckis 3d diarrhea one. We're joined by four time Cage Match guest, Shey, to deep dive into mice in films, chains and The Holiday. Come and be visited by our three horrible specters. This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks

Alright, Baby, pre-moisten those lollipops because we're in for a ride. It's Christopher Coppola's 1993 Deadfall! A movie about criss cross double crosses that star Michael Biehn calls one of his worst movies ever. We're joined by friend, Joey "The Smoke" to try and unpack one of Cage's wildest performances. Wig? Check. Fake nose? Check. Weird voice? Fuck yes, check. This is Cage Match.

Hooooooo, boy. Time for some early 90's race relations in a surprisingly funny comedy starring Nic Cage and Samuel L Jackson. Cage Dancer Freeman joins us to review one of just five movies by E. Max Frye. This 1993 movie has a stacked cast, some quality comedic payoffs, a very good dog, and some incredibly inept cops. Grab your weird sex gear, white people...This is Cage Match

You're either on Team Scorpion or Team Apache....guess where Nick falls this week as we review 1990's Fire Birds. A super dry clone of Top Gun with no beach volleyball and teeth clacking, other than Tommy Lee Jones when he gets his

Alright ding-a-lings, let’s get ready for some car crash, stranded in the desert antics! Here’s a 27 second cameo by Cage in an oddly star studded debut flick by Adam Rifkin. Obviously it’s Never on Tuesday, the direct to VHS masterpiece about trying to turn a lesbian straight (it was the 80’s). Have your tallest lady friend carry you off into your fantasies. This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks