Building Faith Families with Steve Demme

“God offers life, but not an improved old life. The life He offers is life out of death. It stands always on the far side of the cross.” The title of this broadcast and the first quote, originate in a pamphlet written by A. W. Tozer.

How do we abide in the love of God? How do we find joy in the chaos we live in today? Jesus gives us the answer.

In the past few weeks I have been asked a question. “What advice would I give for a man who wants to be a godly husband and faithful father?” I believe the first and best thing I can do is follow the example of Jesus, and be a beloved son to my heavenly Father.

God created men to lead their families. He also created and called them to lay their lives down for their wives and children. In losing our life, we find our life. In dying we bear fruit. Join us for this sober, yet hopeful, call to be crucified with Christ.

We are affected by the direction of our country and the people who are leading it. We sigh and groan over the destruction of babies in their mother’s womb. We mourn and we are poor in spirit, but, we do not lose hope. For our hope is not in man or what we see, our hope is in God, who never changes.

If I could get in a time machine, or travel though the Imagination Station at Whit’s End, I would like be with Cleopas and his friend on the road to Emmaus when Jesus pointed out all the places where His coming and crucifixion were foreshadowed.“Beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.” (Luke 24:27) With this passage in mind, I often ask the Spirit to reveal Jesus to me, as I read through the Old Testament.“You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me,” (John 5:39)

“This is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.” (1 John 5:14-15)This principle of praying according to the will of God is beautifully applied in the life of Daniel. He had been studying the writings of Jeremiah the prophet and discerned the time of the Captivity was coming to an end. He then prayed that what God had professed would indeed come to pass. As you read through these inspired passages, notice how Daniel discerned the will of God and then prayed until it became a reality.

Steve invited a guest, Lisa Mays, who is a participant in the inaugural Trek to Jerusalem which encourages personal bible reading. As part of the team, Lisa had posted a question about what to do when confronted with puzzling passages in Isaiah. Scripture says that every joint or part of the body, contributes to the whole body. Join Steve, Lisa, and Scott as they share insights and mine the wealth of Isaiah.

Steve invited a guest, Lisa Mays, who is a participant in the inaugural Trek to Jerusalem which encourages personal bible reading. As part of the team, Lisa had posted a question about what to do when confronted with puzzling passages in Isaiah. Scripture says that every joint or part of the body, contributes to the whole body. Join Steve, Lisa, and Scott as they share insights and mine the wealth of Isaiah.

I would love to see churches that recognize that parents are called of God to disciple their children. I dream of the day when the church supports parents without supplanting them. This culture begins in the way mom and dad honor each other. In this episode we will be considering ways that we can have a spirit of honoring an esteeming one another highly in the bosom of our family and then see this attitude seep into the church.

There are many specific ways to love our children as we have each been loved, as children of God. I have addressed them in previous chapters. With the help of God, we seek to be meek, gentle, approachable, and encouraging. We want to possess the heart of a foot-washing servant and look to build up our kids, by teaching them, praying for them, and modeling the word of God. Another way that God has ordained for us to bless our children is not a strategy or a specific practice, but an invisible attitude.In the ten commandments, there is one that Paul says is the first commandment to be accompanied by a promise. It is the fifth command, directed to children, about their attitude towards their parents. “Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” Deuteronomy 5:16.The concept of honoring another frail human is not natural. In our carnal natures, we are not inclined to honor others. We want to be honored and recognized, instead of giving honor to another. One of the best examples of someone giving honor to another is the young shepherd David honoring the first king of Israel, Saul.

I have been busy writing books this winter. I listened to a broadcast by Elisabeth Elliot recently where she told the audience they would probably only remember one or two things she said, but her books were on the back table.The books I am writing are to provide follow through to talks I have given at conferences. Each book may be used for personal follow through, as a resource for a small group, or study material with you and your spouse.I could use some help. The books have been edited and I need a couple more sets of eyes. If you would like to read a manuscript and provide me some feedback I will make it worth your time by gifting you a complimentary copy of each book when they are released later this spring. Email me if you are interested [email protected].

I had the privilege to attend a three day event for Men’s Ministry leaders. In this episode I will be sharing the overflow of the encouragement we all received. I learned how Bobby richardson, second baseman for the Yankees led Mickey Mantel to Christ. I met Guy Penrod of the Gaither band who has 8 children. Stephen Kendrick and Dennis Rainey also were present. I hope you will be as blessed as I was listening to what God is doing.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect, (in all points, faced all of the same testings) has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.”Have you ever felt alone, rejected, abandoned, misunderstood? So did Jesus. Are you single, unattractive, still living at home? Jesus understands. And He is our High Priest.

The saying “my yoke is easy and my burden is light” is part of a larger passage (Matthew 11:28–30), in which Jesus tells all who are weary and burdened to come to Him for rest. He isn’t speaking here of physical burdens. Rather, it was the heavy burden of the system of works that the Pharisees laid on the backs of the people that Jesus was offering to relieve.

Thought about being an entrepreneur and having a family business? Listen in as Steve is interviewed about how he began his business and the transition to a family owned business.

As I have sought to know the love of God, the incredible fringe benefit is I have gotten to know God Himself. This wonderful journey that began with me asking God to help me love Him and fulfill the first and great commandment continues. The more I am aware of His love for me, the more I love Him back. As my love increases, so too does my understanding of the triune God.The thought came to me a few weeks ago, what if sin were not in the picture and I did not need God? Would I choose to love Him? If there were no dependence issues, and I could judge the merits of all the gods would I choose the Father, the Son, and the Spirit? Absolutely. He is wonderful inside and out.

When I watched the movie ‘Frozen’ I couldn’t tell you what was the central message, but I liked the song. I find myself singing it frequently, to myself day to day events. Instead of commenting on the actions of others, I am learning to “Let it go, let it go”(you supply the tune!)According to Proverbs 17:9 “Whoever covers an offense seeks love,” and in 1 Corinthians 13, we learn that love “keeps no record of being wronged.” God help us, in the spirit of love, to learn when to simply “Let it go”.

This episode was not released as it should have been following Podcast 74 on Personalities. I apologize for the snafu and hope the topics we discuss here will help in understanding more about the importance of understanding the way we are wired and how birth order can be another resources to building each other up in the Lord.

One of the most important and least discussed attributes, is the attitude of honor that emanates from the heart. We are to honor the Lord, our parents, widows, the elderly, pastors, and the emperor, but how do we do it? What is honor, how do we embody it. How do we pass this attitude on to our children? What does it look like? Join us as we explore more about this important set of heart and mind.

On September 20, 1976 I began reading the scripture every day with the goal of reading through the bible in a calendar year. This has been the best investment of my time and the most productive discipline I have engaged in as a Christian. In this episode I discuss the benefits of reading “every word that comes form the mouth of God” and doing so “daily”.

One of the reasons I first began talking about understanding each other came from the information we learned about personalities. I had the opportunity to learn about how we are wired and it was a wonderful resource for understanding my wife and children. We all took the tests and studied the strengths and weaknesses of our particular bent. This knowledge helped us understand each other.In recent years I have been learning about the difference between introverts and extroverts. This new information has been wonderfully enlightening. But anything we learn that helps us understand each other is a plus. For while we are all created in the image of God, we are all unique.

When I consider speech that does not crush the spirit of the listener, I think of Jesus who is described in Matthew 12:20, “A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench.” One of the main ways to build each other up is to create a safe place where each party is able to speak and be heard without fear of being crushed or quenched.In this episode we are discussing godly communication as an essential part of understanding each other and building each other up.

In Matthew 11:28 Jesus says, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,”In this episode we will seek to learn from Jesus. How was Jesus loved by God? How was He helped to deny Himself and die? What examples has did He give us while He ministered to His disciples? How was He helped to use His authority for serving and building up the brethren?

The heart is the real man. It is the essence of a person. Although we often hide our inward man, when all is stripped away, it is who we are. “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23Life changes occur when our heart is turned to God and to our families. “He will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers.” Malachi 4:6When is this critical mass achieved? When does permanent life-altering change begin to occur in the heart of a father? When do Dads stop wishing they were different and begin wanting to have their hearts turned to God and then to their family?

In this episode, Steve and Scott discuss the dynamics of being at a convention, from the talks that are given to the interaction with the kindred spirits who attend.

David had a heart after God’s heart which is why God chose him to be king of Israel. But when Samuel anointed him, the Spirit came upon him in a new way. The Spirit helped him worship, play the lyre, and fight God’s fights.

David loved God’s word. He loved the truth. There is a strong connection between loving God and loving His word. Jesus is the word, made flesh. May God help us to be lovers of the words of our good God.

David was a man after God’s own heart. In this episode we explore what it means to love God with all our heart and have God search our hearts and turn them to himself.

David was not only a warrior, protecting his sheep from lions and bears, and the nation of Israel from Philistines and giants, he was also a worshiper. Where did he develop his skill with the lyre? When did he have time to write the hymns, aka psalms that we love today? Was he really alone in the desolate pastures of Israel, or was he deepening his relationship with his God?

David is described as a man after God’s heart. What made David special? Why did he spend so much time in the wilderness, as a shepherd and fleeing from Saul? What did he learn while caring for the sheep, alone? In this episode we will consider what we know from the record in scripture and see why God recorded this account of the formative years of David.

“Bear One Another’s Burden and so Fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2Having carried a burden has made my able to empathize with other’s pain. I am able to tune in to what people are feeling more than ever. My own issues have helped me to understand what my brothers and sisters are experiencing in a new way. I observe pain everywhere. When I see people in some form of addiction I don’t see the outward behavior as much as I am cognizant of internal pain and suffering. People do not hurt and abuse themselves for pleasure, there are reasons behind their actions. I am convinced that I may engage in the same behaviors if I had walked in their shoes and grown up in their circumstances. Addiction has many forms, society condemns some (drugs, alcohol, pornography) and rewards others (greed, power, success). But heartache and pain are often the reason why we do what we do. No one likes to hurt.I find myself connecting with people in a deeper way because the one thing we all have in common is suffering. Whether we are battling our own issues, or bearing the burden of someone close to us that we care for, we all need encouragement and support. When I reached out to those 32 friends for help and bared my heart and asked for help, it freed them up to also share their own hurts and griefs. We were connecting at a heart level and bearing each other’s burdens in a healthy godly way. Bearing each other’s burdens and weeping with those who weep is Christianity at it’s best.

The reality of pain, while not on the same level as the gospel, has been a life changer for me. When I was in the throes of my personal crisis in 2012 I wanted the pain to cease and life to resume a semblance of normalcy. I wanted peace, which we all desire. No one likes to suffer, but we all will eventually in some form or another. If we are sinners only, then we will have a hard life. Proverbs 13:15 The way of transgressors is hard. (KJV)If we have chosen to follow Jesus, we will still suffer, but with a purpose, with hope, and accompanied by the presence of God. I am not going to address the broad topic of suffering here, but I am going to focus on our personal struggle. I have rarely heard much teaching on this topic, but pain is all around us. It must be examined and addressed with God’s help.Here is another red letter statement. The source of much of my hurt and distress in 2012 was seeing that because of my own baggage, my internal wounds, I was hurting the most important people in my life, my wife and sons. I think of my own secret scars from my past as toxic waste. When I am rested and in a good place, then this harmful material is safely contained in a lead container. But when I am not rested, working too hard, and stressed, the toxic matter leaks, and it damages those who are closest to me, my family.

My role as a husband and father is shaped by how I experience and perceive the love of God for me. The more love I receive, the more I am equipped to give.As Jesus loves me, I am called and empowered to love my wife and children. As a husband, my role is not to be the king of my castle. My wife and children were not created to serve me, but I have been designed to serve them. By meditating on how Jesus loved me by serving me, I follow His example and do not treat my wife and children as second class citizens, but as fellow children of God, who were created in the image of God.

I am writing a book chronicling my journey of the past two years. These were the hardest years of my life and the best ones as well. They were hard because I experienced more personal sorrow and loss, but they were the best because I found God in a new and deeper way. Throughout this process I am continually boring down through layers of life lessons I have learned to discover fundamental foundational truths.For example, I am convinced that the family is the basic unit of society. God created the institution of the family before Israel, before Abraham, before the flood, and way before the church. In fact, the primary qualification for elders and deacons is their ability to govern their own homes. Healthy God-fearing families are the foundation for healthy churches and communities.Good marriages begin with two individuals who each love God, and have each been loved by God. Let me amplify on that last phrase. Each man and each woman must first have a vertical loving relationship with God themselves. But to love Him, we have to be first loved by Him.Bottom line, the best thing I can do to love God, my family, and my neighbor, is to let God love me.

Etymologists speculate that the expression “Good bye” derives from the longer phrase, “May God be with ye.” Similarly, “Good morning” may come from “May God give you a good morning" or a “Good day.”I find that how I begin each morning sets the tone for the rest of the day. When I want to have a “God” day or a “Good” day, then I begin the day by meeting God and investing time in His presence.I still battle with believing the gospel. Even though I know that when I draw near to God, He draws near to me, I still have to remind myself almost every day that God really likes me. As I draw near to God, I recall scriptures that inform my mind of the veracity of His love and the unchangeableness of His nature.For several weeks, my prayer when I awake has been Psalm 90:14, “Satisfy me in the morning with your steadfast love, that I may rejoice and be glad all my days.” I love this scripture. The writer of this prayer may have been tempted to doubt God’s love, but asked God to help him.

How did God prepare Jesus for His early ministry? What transpired during His formative years in the home of Joseph and Mary? We only have a few clues into those important years of preparation and training.Join us as we engage in some edifying speculation on how Jesus became rooted and grounded in the love of God and developed a relationship with “The Father” before He embarked on his brief earthly mission.

God doesn’t have any baggage, He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is the Lord who changes not. His love doesn’t change either, for God is love. And God is light, with no darkness or shadows.But we do have baggage, lots of it. Baggage is common to man. We each have our share of wounds, scars, and issues from past relationships. If we could see each other’s past, and have the ability to understand and discern what we have each experienced, we would have so much more compassion for one another.Embracing our own issues, and acknowledging our specific weaknesses, failures, hurts, and dashed dreams, helps us to accept and love others. Sadly we have become experts at hiding our pain, and putting on a smiling face, but behind the masks we all are needy and messy. We have good days, and we have bad days.God alone understands us fully. He shares in our joys and our sorrows. When we rejoice, He shares in our joy. When we weep He weeps. He gets us like no one else. And still He loves us completely, consistently, and unconditionally. His grace is amazing, because He is amazing.

God instructs us to be patient in scripture. He is uniquely qualified to offer this exhortation because He practices patience. In fact He is patience. God is the principal and He is the principle.In the book of James, we are told to be patient and steadfast. Then as an example of patience, Job is held up as an example of patience and steadfastness. Then as a clincher, we learn that God is patient. In fact throughout scripture we see God described as stedfast, slow to anger, gracious, and merciful.In the purpose and plan of God, we are not simply to acquire positive character qualities, we are to become like our Dad. We are being transformed into His image. May God help us to not only see the godly character qualities but God himself.

I awoke one morning wishing I had more psalms memorized. Hymns help me to worship. Psalms are hymns that David and others wrote to aid in expressing our hearts to God.One hymn that has been particularly meaningful to me of late is Be Still My Soul. The phrase comes from Psalms 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”God is helping me to learn to be still and know that He is God. Singing this song with understanding helps to quiet my spirit and meditate on the truths found in the lyrics.

This past spring I was quietly sitting alone in an historical church. On the front wall of the plain sanctuary were the words, “The Lord is in His Holy Temple”. As I thought on these words I had a sense that God saw me.These three words, “He sees me” filled my mind and seemed to cover me. I marveled and reveled in the truth of this concept. God almighty, sees me.I tried to expand on the concept and thought of other truths like, He knows me, He hears me, but I kept coming back to He sees me.

God has given us his word for our good. God’s word is good, because God is good. Moses said, “Show me your ways, that I may know you.” The ultimate quest of our heart is not to know merely the scriptures, but the character and person of God that the scriptures reveal?

Before we can teach our children diligently, we as parents are called and designed to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. When I asked God to help me love Him, I was surprised how he answered that prayer. He began to reveal to my heart how much He loved me. This is exactly what the word says in 1 John, “We love because He first loved us.” God always takes the initiative. As we ask Him to reveal His love, meditate on His love, and spend time with the person of God, we will love Him more and more.