Building Faith Families with Steve Demme

As Christians, we know that communication originates in the heart. The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:45Before we can have edifying communication, our hearts have to be in a good place, settled, and at peace in Christ. There are principles and skills that we can learn which will help us be better speakers and listeners, but the heart is where conversation begins.Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Proverbs 4:23In this episode, we will begin by discussing the heart. Then we will teach skills of how to speak in a way that is honest, honors God, and builds relationships.Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, Ephesians 4:15Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. Psalms 19:14

"Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" Matthew 12:34. The values that we hold most dear, that are in our heart, are reflected in our speech. In this podcast, we discuss how to prepare your heart, be at peace, have a healthy sense of your own integrity before you have meaningful communication, particularly with those who are close to you.Godly communication is not about convincing someone of your position, but speaking the truth in love. It is not trying to win a debate, or convince the other to change their beliefs, but to hear and understand one another. The battle is not with anything or anyone outside of myself, but within my own heart."What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?" James 4:1"Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding." Proverbs 17:27"The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things." Proverbs 15:28"Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city." Proverbs 16:32

Proverbs 4:23, "Keep thy heart with all diligence; For out of it are the issues of life." Since our heart is hard to discern, God gives us a window into what we value, and that is our treasure. "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also," Matthew 6:21.Our treasure is more than our money or possessions, it is where we invest our time, energy, and resources. When we are able to identify what motivates us and inspires us, our treasure, then we get a glimpse of who we are. The word of God also helps us understand our heart."For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." The reason we are spending studying what God says about our heart, is that it is the most important factor in God honoring communication."For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks," Matthew 12:34. When our heart is right, our tongues will follow. Time spent quieting our heart and asking God to work in our heart, is time well spent.

"The heart of the human problem is the problem of the human heart." (J. John) The word heart, as used in scripture, does not represent the organ responsible for distributing blood throughout the body. Neither is it to be interpreted as a passion or emotion. Rather, it is the very essence of who you are. It is the inner man. A changed heart is the mark of a Christian. Unless God transforms us in the innermost man, we are still the same egg. All of our external behaviors are just window dressing if we have not been remade on the inside. It is for this reason that we must believe in our heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, and ask Jesus to live in our hearts by faith.Proverbs 4:23, " Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life." David, one of the central figures in the Old Testament is described as a man after God’s own heart. 1 Samuel 13:14. " The LORD has sought out a man after his own heart." Prayers of David:Psalms 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: Try me, and know my thoughts; 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.Psalms 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; And renew a right spirit within me.God is in the business of transforming our hearts.Ezekiel 36:26 " A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you; and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep mine ordinances, and do them."

How does Jesus love us? In the same way that He loves us, we are to love one another. This is the new commandment. John 13:34, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, or by changing the order of the phrases; Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. ." It is my hope that this episode will encourage us to look at Jesus and observe how he has loved us. Jesus is love in the flesh. He is the ideal example for each of to discover how to love each other.He denied himself and laid his life down for us.He served and washed His disciples feet.He built them up and taught them.Jesus is gentle and humble of heart.The Son of God is kind and forgiving.He prayed for His followers.Jesus promised to never leave or forsake His children.He came to save us and not condemn us.Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.He bears our burdens and weeps when we weepMay our gracious God help us to fulfill the new commandment and love one another as He has loved us.

We each want to parent our children well. Today we will look at how Jesus the Son of God, was parented by His heavenly Father.As the father has loved me, John 15:9Jesus had the blessed assurance and complete conviction that He was thoroughly loved and totally accepted by His Heavenly Dad. How did He learn this essential truth that every son needs to know? How was His Dad able to successfully convey His love to His Son?When John was baptizing Jesus, and when God drew near on the Mount of Transfiguration, a voice from heaven affirmed Him audibly and publicly saying,“This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” Matthew 3:17, 17:5God the Father always heard His Son’s prayers.“Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42 I knew that you always hear me, John 11:41The Father trusted His Son and showed Him all that He was doing.The Father loves the Son and has given all things into his hand. John 3:35For the Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is doing. John 5:20Jesus was taught and empowered by His Dad.I do nothing on my own authority, but speak just as the Father taught me. John 8:28The Father and the Son are a team.I and the Father are one. John 10:30The Best part, the Good News, is that this same love shared between Jesus and His Dad, is now in us as well.That the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them. John 17:26

It seems that is much easier to see other people as God sees them, that it is to see ourselves as God sees us. We know that God loves and values others, but it is difficult to believe that He loves and values us.We need faith to believe the Good News. We also need faith to believe that the Good News applies to you and me. The writer of Hebrews was inspired to give us an excellent definition of faith as “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen”.The first building block in a healthy relationship between two people, is for each of these unique creations, to be fully assured and completely convinced that that they have been created in God’s image, are valued, and liked by God Himself.When we have embraced, by faith, these truths we are becoming healthy, and are on the right path to becoming what God designed us to be. This life changing transformation comes about through ongoing exposure to the truth.

In 2006 I attended my first Joni and Friends Family Retreat. This was the first time I was face to face with disabilities 24/7. I confess that for the first two days I was very aware of the disabilities all around me. But as the week progressed, I began to get to know people individually by sharing meals and hearing their story. By day 3 I was learning to see the real person on the inside.These unique and special folks were created in the image of God and adopted members of the family of God. They each had value and gifts that contributed to the body of Christ.I was learning to see these brothers and sisters in Christ, as God saw them.

We are all human. And we all have our own stuff. We have each sinned, and were brought up in dysfunctional families. Who we are is a combination of our past and our present. We each have a story. The good news is that we are not alone. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We all share a common woundedness. Today’s episode is my story over the past year and a half, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Fortunately God is a wonderful Redeemer, or as I heard recently, the Great Composter.To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God's grace means. -Brennan Manning

Building families of faith begins with each of us having a personal vital relationship with Jesus. Then we begin to build a foundation for our home on the word of God with Jesus as the cornerstone.Jesus loves us and like us. He lights up every time we come to Him. He knows us intimately, He designed and created us. But believing and assimilating this truth takes time, in the truth. Jesus says, As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Then he adds, “Abide in my love.’Abiding in His love, does not come naturally. It requires intentionality and purpose. Paul exhorts us to remain rooted and grounded in God’s love and care. To rest in His care and stay in this good place, requires transformation of the way we think about God and His love for us. This renewing of the mind occurs as we meditate on the truth of God’s word.We each have to work out our own salvation and find out how we can best be renewed in our minds. I have found benefit in putting together lists of scriptures, prayers, and Psalms to help me. My feelings and emotions are as changeable as the wind, but God’s word is a rock.The best thing I can do for my family is love God with everything in me, and be fully assured that He loves me. As I receive grace, then I am equipped to give grace. As I experience the love of God in Jesus, I am able to then love others as He has loved me.

The best gift we can give our children, is to love them unconditionally. When they are loved like this, it prepares them to receive grace, or God’s unconditional love. But we can’t give what we have not received. So how do we experience this divine love and not leave our first love as did the Ephesian Church? Many of us have heard of God’s love so much that this expression has lost it’s power. So I am going to share how God made me know that He likes us. That He knows us intimately and still likes us.There are two components that are important to understanding this important dynamic, His nature and His work. God is. He doesn’t change. He can’t change. He is the same, always. He is also love, and He is light.Malachi 3:6 I am the LORD, and I do not change.Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.1 John 1:5 God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.1 John 4:8 God is love.This is His divine nature. We can bank on God being God forever. We are His workmanship. He is the one who gives value to our being.He designed and created us in His image.He adopted us and made us His children.We have value as a part of the body of ChristWe are a temple of the Holy Spirit.He knows us intimately.His love and affection, His eternal “like” never changes because He never changes and His work endures forever. He reveals this love in His word and then tells us to Abide in my love. John 15:9.May God help us to live, abide, and dwell with the knowledge that we are liked and loved with an everlasting love! Amen.

The love of God is revealed to me in the words of Jesus in John 15:9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.” The best activity I can engage in to make me a loving husband and father, is to believe that God loves me, just as I am.As I soak in the love of God, I am a new man, more like my savior and prepared to love others as He has loved me. My vision for the family has changed from: “Where each lives for the other and all live for Christ”, to: what I now I see as a more biblical statement: “Where each lives for Christ and all love for the other”.To begin to grasp the love of God, we need to being with the good news, or the gospel of Jesus. I have chosen 2 Corinthians 5:21 to represent the truths of the gospel. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.There is nothing I can do or anything I can add to make God love you more. In Christ we are accepted totally and completely. Our salvation and sanctification are both gracious gifts from God.I mistakenly believed that salvation was by His grace, but sanctification, was by my efforts. The more I did for God, the better the husband and father, the more God would love me and like me. Any semblance of works, nullifies grace. If I am working for something it is no longer a gift.Ephesians 2:1 "And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, ... 4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 not as a result of works..."The only appropriate response to grace is, “Thanks”.Closing Prayer: John 17:26 "I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.”

Building a home begins and ends with a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. In this episode I begin by sharing how I heard the good news for the first time and met Jesus, the Son of God.When I was a teen, I was invited to a Young Life Ranch in Colorado. The question that was posed to me, “Have you met Jesus?” A song that had just recently been written, and encapsulates my testimony was, “He’s Everything to Me”.In the stars His handiwork I see, On the wind He speaks with majestyThough He ruleth over land and sea, What is that to me?I will celebrate nativity, For it has a place in historySure He came to set His people free, What is that to me 'Til by faith I met Him face to face, And I felt the wonder of His graceThen I knew that He was more, Than just a God who didn't careThat lived away out there, And now He walks beside me day by dayEver watching o'er me lest I stray, Helping me to find that narrow wayHe's everything to me.2012 was a period of personal reconstruction. Sometimes we need to reexamine our relationship with Jesus Christ. Over a period of many years, I had begun to believe that God didn’t love me the same way as He did in Colorado. I mistakenly supposed that I had not lived up to His expectations. A distance crept into my connection with my Savior.One of the ways God showed me how much he cared for me unconditionally was through my son John, who has Downs Syndrome. Johnny loves me for who I am and not for what I do. And I love John for who he is, and not for what he can or cannot do. This kind of love is only a glimmer and a taste of the love God has for each of His children. He loves us for who we are, period.As I asked God to help me love Him, He surprised me by revealing His love for me. I protested and was pointing out that I wanted to love God with all my heart, but He was showing me how much He cared for me. But this is biblical since 1 John 4:19 says, We love, because He first loved us.The main verse that the Holy Spirit quickened to my heart and mind was, John 15:9, As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. I have no doubt of the Father’s love for the son, and here Jesus tells us that He loves us the very same way. Hard to assimilate, but true nonetheless.Loving God precedes parenting, and being Loved by God, precedes Loving God. Perhaps the best thing we can do for our marriage, is for each of us to let Jesus loves us, so we will fall in love with Jesus and comprehend God’s love for us in a fresh way. For when we are loved unconditionally we can love unconditionally.

What does God have to say in His word of God about building families? We will be studying verses along this line in successive broadcasts, but before examining scripture, let’s consider the heart of God. I have an affinity for the book of Deuteronomy, which is the essence of the Pentateuch and the ministry of Moses.Even though the Ten Commandments as dictated by God Himself are found in the fifth chapter of this book, I believe the 29th verse captures the Heart of God and why he has given us these commands.Deuteronomy 5:29 Oh that they had such a heart as this always, to fear me and to keep all my commandments, that it might go well with them and with their descendants forever!God loves us and desires only good for us, and our families, forever. In this episode, I will read several passages of scripture to reinforce God’s goodness and care for His people.His love is unconditional, unchanging, given without reservation, and never ceases. His love is not dependent on our behavior, for He loved us while we were sinners. There is nothing we can do to make God love us more. He can’t love us more than He already does, and He won’t love us any less.He is our God and we are His people, period.May the Good Holy Spirit help us to comprehend and experience afresh this eternal truth, for: God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:5

How do you build a Christian family? We know that God designed the family, but what does a godly home look like? Many of us have grown up in homes that were not faith based and are seeking to understand how to build a Christ honoring family of faith.We live in a culture where Christian families are being challenged at every level. This is not the only time in history when foundations have been attacked. The Psalmist cries: "If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?” Psalms 11:3I believe we should rebuild them! We can not continue to merely defend our biblical foundations, we must intentionally rebuild them, for the best defense is a good offense.I have been a conference speaker for a generation and have been speaking on topics related to the family. I’m now working to develop and provide follow through materials in the form of blogs, podcasts, books, and articles. The Christian Home and Family Worship was the first book I wrote for families to encourage them to establish the habit of regular Bible reading in our homes.In this podcast I share a little of my journey of how God turned my heart towards the Christian home. From growing up in a typical suburban home, to home educating four sons, there were several significant milestones that have influenced my desire to encourage and strengthen families of faith.There are no perfect families in scripture or in the world today. But there are families who are willing to change and grow and learn. I believe there is hope for this divine institution. I am convinced God is restoring marriages and families, beginning with turning the hearts of the fathers to the children and vice versa.When I am tempted to be discouraged as a husband and as a father, one of my favorite scriptures is Proverbs 24:16 The righteous man falls seven times and rises up again. May God help us all to keep on keeping on and turn our hearts towards God and our families. Amen.