Bitch Bible

Jackie phones friend Heather McMahan for emotional support dealing with grief, the eclipse, manipulative marital strategies and red carpet disasters. Thank you for supporting my sponsors!This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp: Visit www.betterhelp.com/BITCHBIBLE today to get 10% off your first monthThe Farmer's Dog: Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at www.theFarmersDog.com/bible and get FREE shipping Naked Wines: To get Naked Wines’ 6 bottles for $39.99 offer, head to www.NakedWines.com/BIBLE and use code BIBLE for both the code AND passwordProse: Get 50% off your first subscription order at www.prose.com/bible Sono Bello: Schedule your FREE consultation today at www.sonobello.com/bible See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie debuts her latest act of philanthropy, celebrates Easter by relishing in families get hit with a tundra and discusses the latest in pop culture news. Thank you for supporting my sponsors!This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp: Visit www.betterhelp.com/BITCHBIBLE today to get 10% off your first monthHappy Mammoth: Use code JACKIE at checkout to get 15% off on your first order at www.HappyMammoth.comNurx: Taking control of your reproductive health starts here. Go to www.nurx.com/BIBLE to get startedSquarespace: Visit www.Squarespace.com/BIBLE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domainZocdoc: Download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Find and book a top rated doctor today at www.Zocdoc.com/BIBLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie ponders marine life, reminisces on the early 2000's, offers a variety of musical and television critique, and reinfects her eyeball with conjunctivitis. Thank you for supporting my sponsors!The Farmer's Dog: Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at www.theFarmersDog.com/bible and get FREE shipping Honey Love: Save 20% at www.honeylove.com/BIBLE Happy Mammoth: Use code JACKIE at checkout to get 15% off on your first order at www.HappyMammoth.comProlon: Get 10% off the 5-day nutrition program at www.ProlonLife.com/BIBLE Sono Bello: Schedule your FREE consultation today at www.sonobello.com/BIBLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie breaks down Vanderpump Rules, her recent trauma at Target, new beef with a narc neighbor and distasteful motherhood updates! Thank you for supporting my sponsors!Caden Lane: Use code BIBLE for 20% off your order at www.CadenLane.com/BIBLE Factor: Use code bible50 to get 50% off at www.FactorMeals.com/bible50 Happy Mammoth: Use code JACKIE at checkout to get 15% off on your first order at www.HappyMammoth.comNaked Wines: Use code and password BIBLE to get 6 bottles of wine for just $39.99 with shipping included at www.NakedWines.com/BIBLE Viia Hemp Company: Use code BIBLE to receive 15% off plus a free sample at www.ViiaHemp.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is back from Paris Fashion Week with the raw retinas to prove it. After contracting conjunctivitis, she recaps her medical trauma whilst abroad. She also discusses the Oscars and breaks down her best dressed. Apologies to Vanessa Hudgens. Thanks for supporting my sponsors!Happy Mammoth: Use code JACKIE at checkout to get 15% off on your first order at www.happymammoth.comSono Bello: Schedule your FREE consultation today at www.sonobello.com/BIBLE This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp: Visit www.betterhelp.com/BITCHBIBLE today to get 10% off your first monthSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie hath sold her soul and is living for the lights! She discusses her latest motherhood fecal altercation, takes issue with Jess Glynne and gets ready for her Parisian gallivant! Thank you for supporting my sponsors!Honeylove: Get 20% OFF @honeylove by going to www.honeylove.com/Bible #honeylovepod See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie hits a low point by way of flaming hot cheetohs and a drive thru frappucino. She also breaks down toxic human narratives, the time Andrew found mold in her car and why broccolini is the new hot makeup brush! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie recaps her Valentines Day plan, Andrew's birthday party, motherhood musings, Beyonce's new country music venture and justice for Kelly Rowland!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie has her first experience with shrooms by proxy at a Homegoods, recaps the Superbowl (yay sports) and reveals why she should probably have been sent to a juvenile detention center. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie recaps the Grammy awards, gives some Handy Andy updates and debriefs on Pookie's problematic past! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie finds her new favorite influencer, shares her own personal Make A Wish Foundation experience that will land her in a utility closet at Paris Fashion Week and discusses her latest mother of the year ventures! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie has a traumatizing experience at her local market that ends in tamiflu tears. We also unpack Aritzia (like why), how not to behave at a breakfast brunch and why raffia is never a good idea. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie has another altercation with Grandma Gloria, discusses mob wife aesthetic, recaps the toxic desire for relevancy a la Monika from Real Housewives and discusses her childhood lesbian allyship.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is back from the Bahamas and recaps being a hands off mother abroad, makes fun of influencers (shocker), talks Golden Globes, RHOSLC finale theories and why social media hiatus' announcements are tricky. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie brings in the New Year with a marital update after Andrew leaves Jackie to fend for herself as a single mother during Christmas, starts beef with Sydney Sweeney and provides a lengthy list of what's in and what's out for 2024. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie s fighting for her life and marriage before the holidays. She almost enters a cabernet crime scene, gets attacked by a bat and is on the brink of a divorce. Happy holidays! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie enters the holiday season with marital tension after her husband refuses to write her a new pop song. She also recaps her Bravocon adjacent hanukkah party, her psychological handbag theory and explains why you need to Amazon Prime a spray bottle.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is guiding light for the LGBTQIA+ community, has an awkward confrontation at a furniture outlet, slings some lukewarm takes on this weeks celebrity gossip and decides that Balenciaga is officially over. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie uncovers some extremely problematic home videos and would like to take ownership and apologize to her community. We also go over the Goop gift guide, her recent trip (s) to Target and her future rendezvous with Leo Dicaprio.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is a patron of the arts and goes to a film screening, gives tips on how to be toxic this holiday season, reprimands Caitlyn Jenner for being problematic and deals with her son being a Kanye West fan. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie sits down with Madi Murphy from the Bad Broadcast to talk about Mormonism, embarrassing wedding behavior and the girls offer a stunning vocal performance!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie recaps Bravocon happenings, how to evict a gerbil from your rectum, plays charades with Grandma Gloria and answers some listener burning questions. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie gets cancelled for appropriating appetizers, discusses celebrity Halloween lewks, tries to nurture her own telekinesis and discusses group socialization etiquette!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie almost becomes a monk,stalks Beverley Mitchell and buys fake designer sunglasses from the dark web.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie has an actual psychotic break after a long day with her grandmother, husband and screaming baby. After getting into a wardrobe altercation with her sister, leaving her Grandma on the side of PCH and almost lighting her husband's hair on fire... Jackie hath hit her limit and ends the episode crying about scrunchies. Have a great day.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie discusses the atrocities going on in Israel, why we should cancel that bitch Goldilocks, rude celebrities and explores problematic Halloween lewks!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie talks about internal happiness, recaps Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, the time she was a death doula on a plane and Handy Andy makes a lackluster appearance!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie celebrates Yom Kippur by not atoning because she is perfect. She talks about Olivia Rodrigo, kegels, antisemitism and how to not be so annoying on the internet. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie gets baby shamed by a woman named Trish, threatens legal action against the Anne Frank musical headed to Broadway, addresses Shannon Beadors legal trouble and tackles the homeless crisis. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie dreams of Cheryl carving pumpkins, teaches you how to get more by doing less, the dangers of microbangs and has a new suburban nemesis. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie thinks about starting a fictitious feud with other podcasters and realizes the grass is actually greener on the other side of motherhood. We recap RHONY, Joe Jonas' marriage (not really) and welcome a new Olsen sister to her undercarriage. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is back from maternity leave and discussing the Rachel/Bethenny interview, preparing her home for a visit from Child Protective Services, has a special Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen guest appearance and issues an apology to Emrata. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie ventures into uncharted waters by doing an "ask me anything" episode to strengthen her connection to her community!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's Leo season and Jackie is joined by her morally bankrupt best friend Max to discuss all the things (literally can't remember what the hell we talked about but I am assuming it's chaotic and offensive) so grab your cigarettes and birth control and enjoy!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie sits down with friend Stassi Schroeder to discuss motherhood, cancellations and Mormon candle culture.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is still in postpartum diapers and giving all the dirty details about the birth of her son. Starting with an alleged cease and desist and ending with an infant wedding celebration.Jackie is still in postpartum diapers and giving all the dirty details about the birth of her son. Starting with an alleged cease and desist and ending with an infant wedding celebration.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is joined by her babies godmother Max Bronner. I can't really remember what we talked about but I am sure it's very offensive and for that we half heartedly apologize!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie has not given birth yet and verbally assaults her audience on the tail end of this 40 year pregnancy. She also disccuses Kardashian drama, Drake's Birkin collection and why Julianne Hough might be terrorizing her by way of edible arrangement. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie gets fisted both medically and metaphorically in the last week of her pregnancy enduring a plumbing crisis, an emotional journey to TJ Maxx a la Bethenny Frankel and various undercarriage catastrophes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie celebrates the Fourth of July by sharing all the things she hates about our country and its patrons! Including but not limited to: Target, Mother Nature, "Quiet Luxury" and Jennifer Lopez's alcoholic beverage line.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie has hemorrhoids, new psychological warfare tips and a not so sunny disposition as she enters the final days of her pregnancy. She covers "The Idol", mourns the Titanic excursion gone wrong and her most recent gripes with Instagram.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is on reserve fuel and using her final battery percentage to assasinate martini reels, the new feminist agenda, being haunted by her dead mother, broken childhood dreams and problematic Halloween costume ideas from the past.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is struggling in the final moments of her pregnancy. She recaps the final Vanderpump Rules reunion, her most recent parking lot verbal altercation and channels Bethenny Frankel in a very off brand moment of sharing her current favorite things! Cue the anal leakage.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie dedicates this episode and the entirety of its offensive contents to the gays. She recaps her babymoon, close encounter with Beverley Mitchell and her sexual future with Matty Healy! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is once again alone and miserable in her last weeks of pregnancy alienating the masses by talking about body dysmorphia, objectifying her unborn baby and recapping Succession and Vanderpump Rules all whilst trying not to murder her pear shaped husband.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie deep dives Bethenny Frankel's social media decisions, romanticizes throwing phones at people and gives some unpopular pregnancy updates.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie psychoanalyzes the Vanderpump Rules finale, Taylor Swift and Matt Healy's relationship and pays homage to rough parenting skills.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is back from a home reno 5150 and ready to get cancelled! She recounts Grandma Gloria almost being abducted, her new problematic event planning business and why Mindy Kaling should stop hiking ASAP.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is dealing with pregnancy body shaming after a verbally abusive "masseuse" objectifies her. She also deals with her on again off again stalker, runs into CHERYL, gives a fun diabetic update and covers Met Gala fashion!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie survived therapy camp and proves to show little to no growth. She breaks down the psychology behind the Sofia Richie wedding hype, makes a strong case for child labor and how to convince your significant other that you don't gp number two. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.