Baconsale

We’re caught in a trap. We can’t walk out. Because on this episode of Baconsale, we’re talking about Elvis Presley. We know some of you have a Burning Love for the King of Rock and Roll, but we also know that others think he’s just a Hound Dog whose songs belong In the Ghetto. Nevertheless, Joel, Kent & Zack listened to all of Elvis’s studio albums and they Can’t Help Falling in Love with his music and stage presence. After briefly sharing the King’s history, we’ll get into some Trouble as we list our bottom five Elvis tracks, get All Shook Up as we steal each other’s song picks, declare “It’s Now or Never” and give out some very specific awards, and then tell each other “Don’t Be Cruel” as we list our top five favorites from one of the best-selling music artists of all time. Press play to step on our blue suede shoes! And if you want to throw a party in the county jail, visit Baconsale.com to find our official Spotify playlist for this episode.

What’s more American than cheese, listener? On this episode, we’ve entered the Baconsale Cottage to discuss & rank 24 different cheeses. However Joel, Kent, and Zack are not going to be doing this Provolone. Our Gouda friend Babs will Brie joining us to tier these tastes and textures, too. And as we Asiago along, we may make you feel Blue as we mold our thoughts and milk our opinions. You may even call us a Munster due to some decisions we make along the whey. Nevertheless, we hope you Havarti a good time as we offer a history of cheese, make up verbs, and attempt to pronounce charcuterie. Press play to discover your personalicheese and find your cheese chums.

Hey listener! Let’s dive into the fake, shall we? On this episode of Baconsale, Joel, Kent & Zack are going to be ranking movies that don’t really exist. We found a website that lists fictional films found in shows such as Home Alone, 30 Rock, Singin’ in the Rain, Seinfeld, UHF, Tropic Thunder, and The Office. Therefore, we’ll be discussing which movies we would go see if they were real, which ones deserve a tier Tubi, and which films we’re glad were never actually made. We may not agree a lot, but we’ll certainly have fun chatting about counterfeit cinema. If you know the difference between a matinee and a manatee, press play!

Believe it or not, readin’ ain’t just for grown-ups. Young adult (YA) novel adaptations may have passed their prime, but on this episode of Baconsale, we’re talking about the good movies, the bad ones, and the forgotten films. Joel, Kent, and Zack are joined by our friend Debbie to pick answers for such categories as Underrated, Least True to the Book, Favorite Character, and Feels Too Dark to Be in the YA Genre. Join us as we make some obvious choices, offer some hot takes, and give a few mild-to-medium spoilers. Everyone dies at the end, so press play!

Who’s up for a third round of the nation-sweeping Parents Guide Game? Baconsale is! Once again, Joel, Kent & Zack have scoured the Internet Movie Database (IMDb) for ten films that the others will have to guess using only the clues from user-generated Parents Guide descriptions. But wait! There’s a Zack Attack! And he’s going to be using other elements from IMDb such as taglines, release dates, and actors as his clues. And since lunch with a parent is on the line, the stakes have never been higher. Listen as Joel favors Frightening & Intense Scenes, Kent keeps referencing the sessandnudidity category, and we’re all a little too nice to each other. Pop a single knuckle and press play to play along with us on this episode of Baconsale.

There’s a first time for everything, and some movie directors hit the ground running when it came to their first feature film. Other initial cinematic efforts, however, were less than stellar. So, on this episode of Baconsale, Joel & Kent have each brought their top 7 & bottom 7 directorial debuts to share with you, the listener, and with Zack. Kent is covering some of the biggest filmmakers to come out of Hollywood (post-1980, of course), whereas Joel mostly seems to pick movies he likes (pre-2000, of course). Be prepared for some hot takes on some cool flicks as we slowly become film bros. Whether you think it’s the director’s fault or the studio’s fault, get your iPhone face ready and press play!

The Baconsale interns are back! This time around, they have been hired by a temp agency to organize a shelter for animated animals. And it’s up to Joel, Kent & Zack to decide which famous fictional pets are going to be sold immediately, which ones are going to be around for a while, and which ones get to take a trip to a wonderful farm where they can run, play, or fly around freely. Our list for this episode includes such celebrated characters as Scooby-Doo, Iago, Garfield, Pascal, Heihei, Cerberus, Stitch, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Abu, and Perry the Platypus. Press play to hear the marketing blurb for each pretend pet.

Baconsale is gearing up to go on an epic road trip to the Idaho Potato Museum, but first these best spuds need to create the ultimate driving playlist. Therefore, on this episode, Joel, Kent, and Zack have each brought 10 of their favorite traveling tunes to share with you. Some of our music delightfully fits a theme, some songs are perfect for vibing, and others will make you want to sing along. So buckle up, sit back, and enjoy the terrible snacks, even worse potato puns, regional humor, constant driver switching, wrong turns, and longest short trip ever. Pass the aux (or connect to the Bluetooth) and press play! And if you’re the DJ on your next road trip, you can visit Baconsale.com to find our official Spotify playlist for this episode.

We’ve talked trilogies on Baconsale before, but now it’s time for us to tier them. We’ve created a large list of popular movie franchises and Joel, Kent, and Zack are going to rank the first batch of them. To be honest, we’re a little loose with the term “trilogy,” so there are some asterisks next to the names of certain film series, but they all at least include an original and two sequels. This time around we’ll be discussing such trilogies as Back to the Future, How to Train Your Dragon, Indiana Jones, Kingsman, Madagascar, Star Wars (Prequels), The Hobbit, and Three Flavours Cornetto. It doesn’t matter if you’re a monkey or an ape, press play to hear us make multiple sandwich comparisons.

Let’s go, bub! The new Disney+ series X-Men '97 just finished its first season. Kent watched it, but Joel & Zack haven’t, so we’ve brought in some special guests for this BaconBit. Sam & Chad have joined our team and they’re ready to discuss the storytelling, the animation style, the surprising lack of Wolverine and, of course, civil rights. The first part of this review is spoiler-free, but after Joel leaves, the conversation will mutate into spoilers. Don’t worry. We’ll warn you before that happens, Chere. Press play to hear our voices get older, but watch out for random Netflix noises!

If you’re looking for information about a fast-food sandwich shop that has sold over five billion classic roast beef sandwiches, we have the deets! On this episode of Baconsale, Joel, Kent, and Zack are discussing their latest quest: eating everything on the menu at Arby’s. Yes, we finally convinced Kent to conquer this restaurant, but has he become a Curly Fries convert? After giving a brief history of Arby’s, we’ll discuss our experiences as we ate each breakfast item, sandwich, Market Fresh option, side, and dessert. Then we’ll slice off some meaty facts about the app, expose our differing taste buds, share some saucy tidbits about red ranch, spell some things backwards, tell the tale of the Meat Mountain, and hold the cheddar. Take off your oversized cowboy hat and press play to hear our best impersonations of Ving Rhames.

Every listener come and play! Throw every last care away! Let's go to the mall today on this episode of Baconsale. Remember malls? Joel, Kent, and Zack do, and it’s up to them to revitalize the industry by creating the perfect shopping center using the classic ‘90s game of M.A.S.H. We’re picking from stores you love, shops you hate, and retailers you may have completely forgotten about. Plus, we’ve added a lemon in each category to make things interesting. We’ll do our best to build the most satisfying & nostalgic shopping mall experience possible, and then it’s up to you to choose where you’d like to shop. Watch out for high-pressure kiosk salespeople and press play!

If you’ve been Kraven to know which movies are coming out this summer, the Bad Boys of Baconsale are here to help. Joel, Kent, and Zack have explored the Borderlands of upcoming releases and they’re ready to tell you which ones they’re excited to see. And, in a plot twist of plot Twisters, we’re also going to turn things Inside Out and inform you about the movies we want to bomb. But there’s no need to get Furiosa and hire a Hit Man IF we, The Watchers of summer movie trailers, say something you disagree with. Don’t fall into that Trap. Just know that we’re not going to pick anything that comes out in The Fall, Guy. Get over your Glenvy, Grunior, find A Quiet Place to listen, and press play.

Are you ready to walk the floor with Baconsale, listener? Our friend Kyler has a VIP pass, so he’s joining Joel, Kent, and Zack as a panelist on this episode to discuss conventions. There’s a con for everyone, no matter what your interests are, so we’re going to give you some general tips & tricks on how to have the most enjoyable experience possible. We’ll also be sharing some personal stories and suggesting rules of etiquette for everyone in attendance. And remember, if you have further questions about conventions after listening, the answer is always, “it depends on the con.” Open the antler box, find a line buddy, and press play.

We’ve crowned a new Listener for the new year during our 446th episode, and now it’s time for Scott, Taylor, and Aleesha to combine forces against the pop culture powerhouse of Team JK. Joel & Kent may not know how to high-five each other, but their brains are full of useless trivia and their buzzer fingers are primed and ready. Will Team JK run away with it? Will Team Listener give Joel and Kent a run for their money? What are our feelings on water crackers? Why aren’t we allowed to consult with one another? Listen and find out. Press play to hear even more judging from Zack and the peanut gallery.

Not every podcast celebrates their 446th episode, but we here at Baconsale do things differently. Since Chad has served two terms as The Listener, it’s time for him to peacefully step down and allow someone else to fill that vital role. Our contestants, Aleesha, Scott, and Taylor, have all proved they have what it takes during our pre-quiz, and now we’re going to test them on such pop culture topics as The Beatles, Baconsale brackets, movie cars, and late-night talk show hosts. We’ll spill a little tea (and soda), take on some tricky math, get judged by the peanut gallery and, of course, play the game of Baconsale. Who will be our Listener for the next year? How many buzzer rounds will we do? Which question categories were inspired by Kent? Press play to find out!

We talk about movies & music all the time on Baconsale, so why not combine the two? Joel and Kent struggled while trying to decide which of their favorite music videos they should pick for categories such as Best Choreography, Favorite One-Hit Wonder Video, Most Inventive, and Made You Like the Song Less, whereas Zack is just trying to make the few music videos he’s seen in his life fit into each category. Nevertheless, we all decided that this episode is brought to you by Michael Jackson’s “Thriller,” and we’ve also limited how many OK Go videos we can pick. Whether you’re a fan of MTV, Fuse, VH1, The Box, YouTube, or Vevo, press play! Also, be sure to check out our YouTube playlist of the songs we try to describe on this episode.

Listener, we mustache you a question. What are your thoughts on the mouth brow? On this episode of Baconsale, we’re facing the facts about facial hair, and rating some of the most famous lip rugs from pop culture. First, we’ll give you a quick history of mustaches (moustaches?). Then we’ll share our combined list of the top 20 flavor savors and the bottom five face caterpillars, which we ranked according to fullness, shape, uniqueness, iconic-ness, and face completion…ness. And remember, we’re not judging the character of the person, we’re just pondering the power of their nose neighbor. Press play to see who ends up on our Mt. Mustmore.

All right listener, rise and shine! And don’t forget your brackets because we’re going to finish our film of movies tournament! But how do you solve a problem like choosing between two great films? Well, if history has taught us anything, it's that Joel, Kent, and Zack can kill any movie. And once an idea has taken hold of their brains, it's almost impossible to eradicate. However, after each painful decision, we got to put our behind in our past, use the force, and show a little backbone. At times you may question how we can be so obtuse, or our picks may put you in the pit of despair or cause mass hysteria, however life finds a way and, we promise you, the dawn is coming. You may get a little mad at this Baconsale episode, but your kids are gonna love it. Press play! Debating with friends & family is a dangerous pastime, we know, but visit Baconsale.com to download our advanced bracket and play along.

And here we go! Last season, Baconsale did tournaments for action, comedy, drama, thriller & family films and now, oh yeah, it’s all coming together. With your help, we’ve narrowed it down to 64 of the previously discussed movies, and we’ve let the cold, cruel hand of random fate decide where they go on this bracket. And that’s all we have to say about that. Now it’s up to Joel, Kent, and Zack to choose wisely when it comes to which precious movies we must say “so long, farewell,” and which ones we deem to be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. It’s not easy for us to decide, as if what we do in this episode echoes in eternity, and some of our decisions may unleash the ten plagues of Egypt upon us, but this is the business we've chosen, and we hope you’re able to free your mind and enjoy a whole new world as we begin this journey. To make a long story short (too late!) press play to hear the first round of our film of movies tournament. And visit Baconsale.com to download this bracket for when you’re having an old friend for dinner.

The Oscars started an hour earlier this year to help boost viewership, but it seems that only enticed Zack to watch them. Therefore, he’s going to give Joel & Kent (He’s Just Kent!) a brief recap of what happened at the 96th Academy Awards. Then we’ll quickly review who we picked, who you picked, and reveal the winner of our Baconsale ballot contest. Our eyes may see Oppenheimer, but we hope John Cena won’t awkwardly walk into the Baconcave wearing nothing more than an envelope. But at least we can look forward to a random (yet hilarious) plot summary for Field of Dreams. Drop that 24-pound bag of V-dog vegan kibble dry dog food and press play!

Keep smilin', keep shinin', knowing you can always count on TV, for sure, to let you know what friends are for. On this episode of Baconsale, we’re going to be picking our favorite fictional friendships on television including childhood pals, school classmates, partners in crime, and work proximity associates. Joel, Zack, and that third guy over there are joined by our friend Steven to pick an answer for each one of the categories. We’re going to buddy match on a few choices, we’re going to allow a lot of honorable mentions, and we hope that you feel a closeness to us as you listen to our discussion. Press play to prevent this from becoming a toxic relationship.

It’s time, once again, for Baconsale to try and guess the mind of Academy voters. Joel, Kent, and Zack have done their research on the 96th Academy Awards, and they’re ready to pass that information along to you, the listener, so you can sound really smart at any Oscar parties you may be attending this year. We’ll let you know which films we like (and which ones we liiiiike) as we play Vegas odds, share some terrible puns, and memorialize the things we lost last year. Will Barbenheimer dominate the Oscars like it did the box office? Will Anatomy of a Fall rise? Will The Zone of Interest hold everyone’s attention? Will Poor Things suddenly come to life? Will The Holdovers get left behind? Press play to find out! And visit Baconsale.com to fill out our official 2024 Academy Award ballot for a chance to win a cinematic prize!

Did you know, listener, that the Academy Awards don’t always get it right? It’s shocking, we know, but on this episode of Baconsale, we’re going to be exposing some of the biggest snubs in the history of the Oscars. We’ll mainly be focusing on the following categories: Best Supporting Actress & Actor, Best Original Song, Best Actor & Actress, Best Director, and Best Picture. We’ll discuss those who were nominated but didn’t win, as well as those who didn’t get a nomination at all. Zack has a narrow date window, Joel skews a little older, and Kent keeps trying to predict the future, but we hope you enjoy hearing us get a little passionate about people we don’t know getting an award we’ll never receive. Please don’t snub our podcast! Press play!

We may be grumpy old men now, but in 1994, Kent was a teen, Joel was a contemporary adult, and Zack was a toddler. So, on this episode of Baconsale, we’re taking a look at music that is turning 30 years old in 2024. It wasn’t easy to narrow down our choices to only 10 categories. We had to kill some of our alternative darlings. Also, some songs couldn’t be chosen because of our own self-imposed technicalities. However, we tried to include a variety of bands & genres and we give many, many honorable mentions on this musical walk down memory lane. Press play to get a very specific Grammy Award. And we apologize for some of the questionable choices you’ll find on our '94 Spotify playlist at Baconsale.com.

Believe it or not, Joel, Kent, and Zack have been hired as temps at a dating agency. Their assignment is to feed the submitted dating profiles into the high-tech D.A.T.E. machine and then notify the new couple. And on this episode of Baconsale, the eligible bachelors & bachelorettes are all single animated Disney characters. These are the ones who didn’t find love in their respective movies and want another chance at finding someone special. It may surprise you who is in our files, and what they choose to put in their dating profiles may shock you even more, but we hope you enjoy it as we debate if these set-ups will turn into a long-term relationship, if a second date will even happen, or if these lonely hearts will just end up ghosting each other. Beep-boop-bop. Press play.

Nepo babies, they make their dreams come true. But will they do the same for you? Well, this topic’s kind of weird, but we wish to make you aware. Just open your eyes and you will see that nepotism’s everywhere. Especially in Hollywood, that is. So, on this episode of Baconsale, we’re discussing those in the film & music industry who may have gotten a leg up on their careers due to their famous parents or relatives. Much like Zack, you may be shocked at some of the familial relationships we expose, or you may just be surprised by how many bad movies we bring up. But we’ll do our best not to get too salty as we ponder if these children of celebrities have earned their place in pop culture. Press play to see a Venn diagram of Irish gingers.

Just ignore our unusual haircuts as we review the movie Argylle, which was one of Joel’s most anticipated films of the year. Zack didn’t see this satirical spy flick, so he has some questions, and we’re going to do our best to answer them without spoiling anything during the first half of this BaconBit. Then, after Zack leaves, Kent & Joel are going to flip to the last chapter of the book and talk about all the twists, turns, and CG shots of a cat. Press play, but please don’t look Kent in the eye.

Baconsale, the podcast that smiles back, has ranked chips before, but on this episode we’ve brought a laundry basket full of 21 different types of crackers so we can tier each one. We’ll first briefly discuss the history of these crispy snacks, and then we’ll share our feelings about Ritz, Cheese-It, Goldfish, Chicken in a Biskit, Saltines, Triscuit, Wheat Thins, Graham crackers, pretzels, and more. And we hope you play along as we take a crunchy bite into such topics as flavor and mouthfeel, so you can determine if you’re a cracker matcher, a biscuit buddy, or a cracker slacker. Press play to get that buttery, flaky feeling.

It’s time for the traditional tabloid episode of Baconsale. Joel, Kent, and Zack have peered into the cracked, hard water-stained crystal ball once again to prognosticate about pop culture events for the upcoming year. But before we discuss the films we want to see and the ones we want to flop, we’ll dive into the drama, call for celebrities to make a comeback, and shrug our shoulders at People Magazine’s choice for Sexiest Man Alive. We’ll also be harvesting lots of low-hanging fruit, talking way too much about Taylor Swift, and swerving dangerously close to politics. Nevertheless, we hope you enjoy hearing our super-informed sports predictions as well as our catty celebrity chatter. Press play to split a bowl of soup with Baconsale!

After almost a decade of Baconsale, we’re kicking off our tenth season in the best way we know how: talking about the movies we liked and the ones we disliked from the previous year. And, as an added bonus, Zack is playing this time (using Joel’s selection method)! After momentarily forgetting how to podcast, we’ll soon get back into our usual rhythm and repeatedly apologize to Kent, who apparently hates beautiful people. Joel is favoring documentaries and GIFs from 2023, Zack is playing catch-up on some fantastic films, and Kent just wants you to join him in the sun. Press play to hear our top-bottom and our bottom-top picks!

Time after time, we end our seasons of Baconsale by taking a look back at the episodes we’ve done that year, and season nine is no exception. Joel, Kent, and Zack are going to throw some quick podcast stats & facts your way and then we’ll jump into our categories. We’ll introduce our favorite intros, talk about our many film tournaments, muse on some memorable moments, and reminisce about running gags. Listen as we share way too many honorable mentions, do hand-table dinosaurs, get a little giggly, and give a special award to the Baconsale Volunteer of the Year. It’s a lot of inside jokes (doo-dah), but we hope you enjoy this self-indulgent season finale as much as we did. Like our episode images on Instagram (for Kent’s sake) and then press play!

I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore, because there are a variety of genres on this Baconsale movie bracket. We phoned home to you, the listener, and asked you to submit your favorite family films. Very quickly we noticed some inconceivable matchups, some of which are going to get us into the biggest pickles of all time. Be prepared, there’s a chance that things could get sassy, especially after we get into the Sweet 16 (going on seventeen), but we just keep swimming as movies keep moving one jump ahead. You may call us les incompétents for some of our decisions and say that our choices were made by pure imagination, which is a tale as old as time. However, despite the minor hiccups, we hope at last you’ll see the light that not every family film can be super, that some of these decisions are heavy, and that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. Press play because, as our Aunt Lucy always says, fear does not exist in this dojo. Hey, you guys! If you want to download the official bracket for this episode, run home to Baconsale.com.

The holidays are a busy time, with multiple events vying for our attention. Unfortunately Kent & Joel have both planned their separate Christmas parties for the same evening in the same cul-de-sac. So Zack now needs to decide which party he’s going to attend. But how will he choose? Well, that depends on the guest lists. Kent and Joel are going to take turns inviting characters from popular Christmas movies, such as Buddy the Elf, Ebenezer Scrooge, Frosty the Snowman, The Grinch, Kevin McCallister, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Some of the guests will help our chances of luring Zack in, some will hurt them, and one option will be left out in the cold. Press play to hear some questionable Jimmy Stewart impersonations. And watch out for animal droppings!

Six years later. A lot has changed since the last time Baconsale discussed documentaries. For instance, true stories are now more widely watched—especially the ones about murder, for some reason. The problem now, though, is that there are so many documentary and docuseries options out there that it’s difficult to know which ones are worth your time. That’s were Joel, Kent, and Zack come in. They’ve each brought five factual films to the table. Some are long, some are short, some will lift you up, some may pull you down, but we feel all of them are worth sharing with you, the listener, and we’ll do our best to stick to medium spoilers, at most. Press play to count how many Taylor Swift references we can make in one episode.

Ranking pies will be a piece of cake. At least, that’s what we thought when we began this episode of Baconsale. However, as Joel, Kent, and Zack start to dig into this delicious dessert topic, they quickly realize they have some very different oPIEnions. After briefly discussing the history of these sweet treats, we’re going to tier popular pastries such as pumpkin, cherry, apple, key lime, pecan, mixed berry, and banana cream. Join us as we serve up some controversial takes and discover our pie preferences could, in fact, be a reflection of our personality types. Press play to be à la mode.

It’s time to get your adrenaline pumping, because on this episode of Baconsale we’re discussing some of the greatest action scenes of all time. Our friend Shannon is joining Joel, Kent, and Zack to pick answers for such categories as Best Large-Scale Battle Scene, Favorite Car Chase, Most Outrageously Fun Scene, Best Line or Dialogue, Most Disappointing, and Favorite Overall. Along the way, we’re going to match a few of each other’s choices and we’re going to have a hard time pronouncing Cary Elwes (was he the king of Gondor?), but we’ll do our best do paint each scene for you and not give honorable mentions. Press play to join us in space, listener. SPACE!

It’s been a hot minute since we’ve done a BaconBit, but it’s also been a few years since Captain Marvel was in theaters. Both Joel & Kent went into The Marvels with some pre-conceived notions about the current state of the MCU, and during this review we’ll see if Carol Danvers, Monica Rambeau, and Kamala Khan can change their minds. Don’t worry, we’ll isolate the spoilers in another dimension during the first part of this review. And we’ll use our powers to alert you before we swap places into spoiler territory. There’s no need to watch WandaVision, Ms. Marvel, or Secret Invasion to understand this BaconBit, just press play.

After being let go from their previous job at Arkham Asylum, Joel, Kent, and Zack have been hired as security guards on the Raft, a prison made for super-powered criminals in the Marvel universe. So on this episode of Baconsale, we’re going to be deciding if some of Spider-Man’s most villainous enemies belong in maximum-, medium-, or minimum-security cells when they arrive webbed-up and unconscious on our doorstep. We’ve also been assigned to different floors, so the vibe is definitely different depending on who is guarding them. Listen as we make cringe-worthy puns about the Green Goblin, debate about the strength of Doctor Octopus & mason jars, and try to keep Kent from falling in love with Black Cat (or Venom). Press play to prepare for Pizza Friday!

Hello, Sidney/Clarice/listener! Baconsale asked you, our number one fans, to submit the best horror, thriller, and suspense films. Then, after waiting until dark and playing a few rounds of hide & clap, we put those movies on a bracket. And while it won’t take us seven days to finish this tournament, we’re gonna need a bigger boat, because our discussions go a little long. After all, some of our favorite picks will have to get out—they can’t all float to the top. At times, Joel’s, Kent’s, and Zack’s emotions will come bursting out of their chest, and we may make some decisions that will make you giggle and say, “are you mad?” But we all go a little mad sometimes, don’t we? Especially when it’s all work and no play and we start seeing dead people. Stand in the corner and press play to experience some paranormal activity. And if you want the official Thriller of Thrillers bracket, download the thing at Baconsale.com.

When three podcast archeologists stumble upon the tomb of Ba-Con-Sale during an expedition, they unknowingly unleash a horrible curse. The curse… of having to watch some really dry movies. Because on this episode, we’re discussing mummies. Joel, Kent, and Zack have excavated some historical accounts & various mummy facts, and they’re ready to put them on display for all to hear. And we’re not just talking about Egyptian pharaohs & ancient tombs, we’ll also be sharing tales of European bog bodies, Japanese monk pits, and accidental zombies from the Americas. Then we’ll wrap things up by giving our approval (or disapproval) of a sarcophagus-full of mummy films. WARNING: Some of the mummification descriptions may be a little grotesque, so we don’t recommend eating while listening. It doesn’t matter if you’re Team Imhotep or Team Kharis, press play!

It’s time for Baconsale to share some more Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark! Can we get a bizee, bizee, BUZ-OOOOOO-O-O-O? Zack didn’t grow up reading these creepy children’s books by Alvin Schwartz, so Kent & Joel are ready to educate and alarm him. On this episode, we’ll be reading such terrifying tales such as “Maybe You Will Remember,” “The Viper,” “The Appointment,” “The Girl Who Stood on a Grave,” “The Wendigo,” “The Cat’s Paw,” and “Sam’s New Pet.” We’ll also be sharing a couple short stories we enjoy from other horror anthologies. As we do, we’ll try our best to be serious and keep the mood spooky, despite our attempts at doing different voices & accents. Press play to let Stephen Gammell’s disturbing drawings haunt your nightmares once again.

We were working the lab, late one night, and agreed to bring this idea to light: what if we played the classic schoolchildren’s game M.A.S.H., but with a Halloween twist? So on this episode of Baconsale, Joel, Kent & Zack are each going to create a horror movie right before your ears, completely based on the horrifying power of chance. A random number generator will pick our genre, director, rating, actors, monster, and more. Fate will even choose whether we live or die. And after we check our vibes and Zack earns some film cred, we’ll leave it up to you to decide which one of our films is best. But remember to beware the i-n-g! Put on your Denny’s goggles and double-tap that play button.

What are you going to be on Halloween night? A witch, or a goblin, or a ghost? Well, on this episode of Baconsale, we’re kicking off the spooky season by taking a look at the various costumes we’ve worn in Octobers past. Joel, Kent, and Zack will be rummaging through their guising closets to pick answers for such categories as First One You Remember Wearing, Best Pop Culture Character, Most Embarrassing, Scariest, Easiest to Put Together, Most Elaborate, and Personal Favorite. And as we go door-to-door in our memories (and Zack stalks Kent on Facebook), we hope you’re playing along at home and possibly even getting some ideas for a future Halloween costume. Press play to put on those leotards for the ‘Gram.

Why should films get to have all the fun? We’re modifying a classic Baconsale game to focus on songs, albums, and bands. In each musical match-up, Joel, Kent, and Zack are going to decide which of these choices will be experienced during one amazing concert, which one will be saved on our iPods (remember those?), and which one will be erased from existence. Some decisions are quite easy, others bring back junior high school dance memories, and some lead to discussions about murder. We hope you enjoy playing along as we give this new twist on an old show a shot. Press play to be left of the dealer.

Buongiorno, listener! Our mama always said, Baconsale is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get. And that’s certainly the case on this episode, where we let you call it and submit the most dramatic films ever, which we’ve now put on a bracket to fight for their freeeeeedom! However, hope can be a dangerous thing, and not every pick is going to be king of the world. Some of you might even say, “you broke my heart” when your pick doesn’t make it past a round. But frankly, my dear listener, these are all well-made & emotional movies, and power is when we have every justification to kill one of them, and we don't. Sometimes we’re rushing through our discussions, sometimes we’re dragging, but no matter what happens, we’ll still be your huckleberry and we’ll always have Paris. How do you like them apples? Well, press play and earn this, even if you can’t handle the truth. And be sure to seize the day by downloading the official Drama of Dramas bracket at Baconsale.com.

Let’s face it, listener, some condiments just don’t cut the mustard. Therefore, it’s time for Baconsale to relish in our opportunity to tier 24 popular table sauces. First, Joel, Kent & Zack are going to try to come to a consensus of what a condiment is, and then we’re going to say what we think about salsa, rank ranch dressing, debate about Dijon, and more. We’re going to throw a lot of hot (sauce) takes your way on this episode, but we’re sure you’ll ketchup. Wipe your fingies clean and press play to learn why butter deserves justice.

With the WGA and the SAG-AFTRA both on strike, it’s uncertain if any movies will actually be coming out this fall or winter. Nevertheless, Baconsale must press on. Joel, Kent, and Zack are ready to let you know what might be hitting theaters and coming to streaming soon as we approach the end of 2023. Listen as we discuss long-awaited sequels, much-lamented prequels, and the death rattles of dying universes. We also give way too much attention to some of the joke answers and had to add in some editor’s notes for the films that already had their release dates pushed back after we recorded this episode. Press play to hear why this was a good directing year for Kent.

Oi there, listener! On this episode of Baconsale, we’ve decided to continue the course of Commonwealth pop culture by discussing jolly old England. This, of course, means Joel, Kent & Zack will be doing some truly awful accents and making some fairly harsh judgements. As we venture forth with a stiff upper lip, we’ll be conquering such categories as Best Chocolate/Candy, Craziest Monarch Story, Favorite Fictional English Character, Most Influential Television Series, Who Should Get Knighthood, and things we feel are Royally Overrated. We hope you enjoy this very American take on a small portion of Great Britain. Pip pip! Cheerio! And all that rot. Now press play to discover Zack’s love for British bears, guvnor!

Things aren’t looking good for the Marvel Cinematic Universe right now. Phase Four wasn’t very well received and Phase Five isn’t off to a great start. Therefore, Kevin himself gave Baconsale a call asked us to help save the MCU. Joel, Kent, and Zack are each going to create a screenplay for a blockbuster hit, using the tried-and-true method of M.A.S.H. And as we’re given our randomly chosen superheroes, villains, mentors, fighters, and comic relief characters, we’re going to do our best to weave together a story that will succeed at the box office. But watch out! Shape-shifting Skrulls are lurking in every round, making some of our picks less effective. Press play to release the Dunn Cut.