back from the borderline

In this episode, we explore the profound sense of spiritual starvation that so many of us grapple with—a feeling of emptiness, brokenness, and isolation that seems impossible to fill. Inspired by a voicemail from Thiago in Brazil and a message from Noura in Egypt, I’m reminded of why I started this podcast: to connect with those searching for meaning beyond the surface-level solutions often offered in mental health and self-help spaces. We dive into the concept of “zooming out”—taking a higher, broader perspective on our lives and struggles. By stepping back, we can begin to see our experiences not as signs of inherent flaws, but as part of a much larger journey of growth and self-discovery. This episode encourages you to follow your own “spiritual breadcrumbs” and find unique ways to reconnect with yourself at a deeper level.Topics include:Exploring spiritual emptiness and feelings of disconnectionPractical steps for “zooming out” and gaining a higher perspective on personal strugglesHow to use a spiritual lens to find peace and purposeTips for navigating feelings of brokenness and finding inner resilienceCultivating self-awareness and autonomy on your own spiritual pathFor anyone feeling lost or spiritually “starved,” this episode offers a refreshing perspective on reclaiming your journey and nurturing a more meaningful connection with yourself. RESOURCES: “How Do We Break the Habit of Excessive Thinking?” with Eckhart Tolle“How to re-frame a challenging moment and feel empowered?” with Gabor Maté MD“Let your relationships become a vehicle for freedom” with Ram Dass“The principal of not forcing” with Alan Watts“Holding the tension of the opposites” with Marion Woodman Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Anger is one of our most intense and often misunderstood emotions, but what if this powerful feeling could be used as a tool for personal growth? In this episode, we explore the difference between healthy and unhealthy anger, and ask: is society’s view of anger to blame for the “unhealthy” ways we express it? We’ll dive into practical anger management strategies and effective techniques for releasing anger and rage, uncovering how to recognize and work with anger in a way that strengthens self-awareness and emotional well-being.Discover the concept of anger as a secondary emotion, what it truly reveals about our deeper needs, and how unprocessed anger may lead to destructive patterns in our lives. We’ll also discuss the spiritual meaning of anger and its potential to act as a pathway for healing and transformation. Whether you’re dealing with frequent anger, navigating deep-seated rage, or simply want to understand the role anger plays in your life, this episode provides actionable insights and emotional tools for growth.Topics covered in this episode include:Healthy vs. unhealthy expressions of angerHow cultural beliefs affect our relationship with angerTips for managing anger, from grounding exercises to mindfulness practicesUnderstanding anger as a response to deeper emotionsExploring the spiritual aspects of anger for personal developmentIf you’ve ever struggled to control or understand your anger, this episode will help you harness this powerful emotion to cultivate self-compassion, resilience, and balance in your life. Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dissociation can feel like slipping out of reality itself—but what’s really going on when we disconnect from our surroundings or even from ourselves? In this episode, we take an in-depth look at dissociation, breaking down its subtypes, including derealization (feeling detached from the world around you) and depersonalization (feeling detached from yourself). We explore how dissociation is often tied to trauma and how it manifests differently for those who experience it. From grounding techniques to mindful awareness, this episode offers practical tools to help you manage these unsettling moments and reconnect to the present. We also address the deeply isolating feeling of “going crazy” that can accompany dissociation and discuss how to seek supportive resources for ongoing dissociative experiences. Whether dissociation is something you experience often or only occasionally, this episode provides insights to help you understand, manage, and ultimately feel less alone in the experience. Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if the pursuit of a “strong sense of self” is actually keeping us trapped in cycles of suffering? In this episode, we unravel the complexities of identity disturbance, especially as it relates to the “Favorite Person” dynamic often seen with BPD traits. We’ll explore how attaching our sense of self to others can lead to feelings of emptiness and imposter syndrome, questioning whether common therapeutic goals like developing self-esteem might sometimes do more harm than good.Drawing on the Buddhist principle of anatta, or “non-self,” we’ll examine how loosening the grip on identity can open up new pathways for healing. You’ll also learn why mindfulness can feel challenging when we’re overly focused on the concept of self—and discover techniques for becoming more present without being bound by rigid ideas of who we think we are.This episode offers a fresh perspective on the pursuit of identity, inviting you to see beyond labels and discover what might lie on the other side of “self.”Recommended resources: “The Fiction of the Self - The Paradox of Mindfulness in Clinical Practice” by Ronald SiegelCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever wondered why so many mental health treatments seem to scratch the surface but don’t quite reach the root of what’s going on? For those who resonate with mental health disorder labels, the journey often begins and ends with skills-based therapies like DBT or CBT. While coping techniques can help us manage day-to-day challenges, these approaches rarely address the bigger picture—the societal narratives and systemic forces shaping how we see ourselves. Many people complete treatment programs only to find themselves still feeling unanchored, searching for identity and meaning.In this episode, we’re taking a deep dive into narrative therapy and the concept of agency, examining how these tools can help us reclaim our stories and change the way we see our struggles. We’ll explore externalization, a technique that allows you to step back from negative thought patterns and take control of your life. Along the way, we’ll discuss cognitive distortions and how they keep us trapped in cycles of self-doubt and frustration. We’ll also confront the damaging narratives perpetuated in mental health discourse and consider the profound impact they can have on those in recovery.Key topics we’ll cover include:The power of agency and why having a say in our own narrative mattersWhat narrative therapy is, and how it’s being applied to those with BPD and other labelsExternalization as a way to reclaim your identity from harmful labels and thought patternsRecognizing and addressing cognitive distortions that fuel negative thinkingThe often-overlooked role of societal narratives in shaping our mental health and recovery journeyThis episode challenges traditional approaches to mental health, inviting you to see yourself through a new lens—one where you’re not just coping, but actively rewriting your story on your own terms.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you no longer viewed your symptoms as proof of being “disordered” but as a part of your brain’s natural, adaptive design, how would that reshape your self-understanding? How would it impact the hope you hold for your future? For millions, the prevailing belief is that symptoms of mental distress stem from chemical imbalances or genetic flaws—issues inherited and hardwired. But groundbreaking research by Dr. Joanna Moncrieff is challenging this very foundation, shaking up the psychiatric field and prompting us to question: What if our brains are simply doing their best to keep us safe?In today’s episode, I sit down with philosophy professor and author Justin Garson to explore this revolutionary perspective. Together, we’ll delve into how painful symptoms can be seen less as evidence of dysfunction, and more as deeply rooted responses that have adapted over time, especially through childhood. Our early experiences leave profound imprints, shaping how we perceive the world, relationships, and even ourselves. But what if recognizing these imprints as survival mechanisms could offer a path toward real change?Join us as we reframe the entire concept of mental health, shifting from labels of disorder to stories of resilience and adaptation. This episode invites you to see yourself in a radically new light—one where healing means understanding, rather than “fixing” who you are.Recommended resources: ■ Full article by Justin Garson - "Is Borderline Personality Disorder an Adaptation?"■ Justin's website - https://www.justingarson.com/ ■ Research by Joanna Moncrieff et. al - "The serotonin theory of depression: a systematic umbrella review of the evidence" (July 2022)Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For many who resonate with symptoms associated with various different mental health disorder/dysfunction labels, the journey to “getting better” often begins with therapy and learning skills through methods like CBT or DBT. But what happens when those skills still don’t seem to bring the sense of peace or fulfillment you’re looking for? You’ve done the research, tried the techniques, yet find yourself feeling perpetually empty or caught in cycles of boredom and dissatisfaction. In this episode, we dig deeper—under the surface of symptoms—to explore the “why” behind our suffering. We’ll take a closer look at the way our brains chase happiness, fueled by biology and a relentless search for the next dopamine fix. This constant chase keeps us in a loop, always seeking the next “desirable” thing or person. By examining what happiness really means and breaking down some common misconceptions about it, we can start to see our lives and relationships through a new lens.In this episode, we’ll cover:The concept of “Dukkha bias” and why we often feel like nothing is ever good enoughThe link between chronic boredom, emptiness, and high emotional sensitivityHow our constant drive for desire can become a source of suffering—and what we can do about itInsights into human biology and how it perpetuates a cycle of never-ending needsA framework for defining happiness on your own terms, free from societal expectationsJoin me as we peel back the layers of what it means to seek happiness and enter a path toward true and lasting recovery that isn’t about quick fixes, but rather a deeper understanding of ourselves. Recommended resources: ■ Book - Designing the Mind: The Principles of Psychitecture by Ryan Bush■ YouTube - Interview with the author of Designing the Mind on the Modern Wisdom Podcast Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most of us are well aware of the patterns we want to break—the cycles that keep us from experiencing true peace and intimacy. We can see the behaviors that sabotage our connections, but knowing isn’t the same as changing. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned on my own journey is that transforming our beliefs is essential to transforming our actions. In this episode, we’ll explore some of the deeply held beliefs that might be holding you back, and I’ll share why a temporary break from social media might become a lasting one for me. We’ll dive into how major platforms are shifting from “social media” to “recommendation media” and the effect this can have on our emotional well-being. I’ll also address a recent review that questioned my stance on the BPD label and why I continue to challenge the potential harms of labels that can reinforce limiting beliefs about ourselves.Topics we’ll explore include:The impact of social media on emotional stability, particularly for those with high emotional sensitivityWhether mental health labels like “borderline personality disorder” are helpful or limitingHow cognitive biases and “splitting” can affect our healing processThe importance of adopting a “growth mindset” to improve communication and build healthier relationshipsUnderstanding and managing “obsessive” tendencies, such as constantly checking a partner’s social mediaPractical tips for navigating romantic relationships when intense emotions are part of the mixThis episode is a deep dive into how shifting your beliefs can open the door to new patterns, healthier relationships, and a more grounded approach to self-discovery and growth. Recommended resources:  ■ Article – “The End of Social Media and the Rise of Recommendation Media” by Michael Mignano■ Article – The people who want to get rid of the term ‘personality disorder’ by Emily Reynolds for Dazed Digital■ Book – Designing the Mind: The Principles of Psychitecture by Ryan Bush Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Former Nickelodeon child-star Jennette McCurdy's provocatively titled memior “I’m Glad My Mom Died” became a near-instant New York Times bestseller after its release in August 2022. The Audible version of the book is narrated by Jeanette herself and details her struggles with disordered eating, alcohol addiction, OCD, unstable relationships and – most notably – her extremely complicated relationship with her codependent, overbearing, and abusive mother. In this episode, I discuss my reflections on the book. Through dissecting Jeannette’s experiences she so bravely shared in this memoir, we’ll dive into what we can learn about parentification, enmeshment (also known as “emotional incest”) and the devastating impact these kinds of toxic family dynamics can have on childhood development that carry on far into adulthood.  Questions answered and topics explored in this episode: ■ The exploitation of children in the entertainment industry (the trauma faced by child actors)■ The devastating impact of emotionally immature and “narcissistic” parents■ Signs you may have suffered childhood emotional incest (also known as “covert incest”)■ Signs you were a parentified child (the damage parentification can have on highly sensitive children)■ “The narcissistic mother” (the long-term effects these traits have on their daughters)■ How childhood trauma can lead to adult identity problems■ How children of cancer patients can experience post-traumatic stress disorder (parental cancer and its psychosocial impact on children) Recommended resources: ■ I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy■ The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self by Alice Miller Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In a recent interview with Howard Stern, 20-year-old singer-songwriter Billie Eilish revealed the devastating impact that having access to hardcore pornography from as early as age 11 had on her self-image and sexuality. In this episode, we delve into Billie's comments and explore the harmful effects of online porn on millennials and Gen-Z. Additionally, we discuss the potential increased risk of negative impact on individuals who experience symptoms of mental health disorder labels, including borderline personality disorder. Tune in to gain insight into the complex issue of easy access to porn and its effects on mental health and sexuality.Key timestamps in this conversation:02:00 – Discussion of our “quote of the week” by Stoic philosopher Epictetus (exploring how those who identify with symptoms of BPD can learn to tackle our issues with control)08:00 – Billie Eilish’s comments on porn and an in-depth exploration on sexuality and mental health disorder labels50:00 – Preview of this week’s premium episode on “borderline abuse”Questions answered in this episode:■ The impact easy access to porn has in our developmental years■ The negative effects of porn on expectations of sex and body image■ How the overuse of porn can negatively impact your mental health■ The role mental health symptoms can play in your sex life and perception of intimacy ■ What is “borderline abuse” (“borderline abuse”) and is it a real thing? Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I received two listener emails this week that ripped my heart open. One was struggling with addiction, and the other was devastated by a recent heartbreak. These voicemails reminded me of why I started my podcast in the first place, so I decided to record this episode. It is a love letter to the person at rock bottom. The person who is so heartbroken, they feel like they can’t go on—the person questioning if they even want to be on this earth anymore. Through the words of authors who have inspired me and gotten me through my own dark times, it is my hope that this episode can be a light in the darkness. If it inspires just one person to keep fighting, it will have all been worth it.  Authors quoted in the episode: ■ In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Gabor Maté■ The Hero's Journey: Joseph Campbell on His Life & Work by Joseph Campbell■ Ether: Into the Nemesis by L.J. Vanier Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do people who identify with symptoms of what is known as borderline personality disorder have a unique ability to connect to the transcendent? Are chronic feelings of emptiness less about being “disordered” and more about being spiritually starved? My guest on this episode, Dr. Lisa Miller, seems to think so. Lisa Miller has devoted her career to scientific research proving that spirituality is a natural aspect of our humanity and that our brains become more resilient and robust because of it. We are each born with an innate desire to question the world around us in search of something more. A leading generational psychologist on the benefits of spirituality, Lisa graduated from Yale University and the University of Pennsylvania, earning her doctorate in psychology. She is currently a professor of psychology and education at Teachers College, Columbia University, and the Founder and Director of the Spirituality Mind Body Institute, the first Ivy League graduate program and research institute in spirituality and psychology. In her book The Awakened Brain, Dr. Miller uses science to show that spirituality (different from religious belief) is one of the strongest protective factors against psychological suffering. Her research clearly shows that our physiological development presents us with occasional moments of crisis at certain times in our lives. When we meet those moments of crisis and trauma from a spiritual perspective, we are more protected against psychological suffering in later life stages. Dr. Miller believes that healing from trauma requires bringing greater awareness to the signs and lessons that the universe has for us and bringing those lessons into the future without getting stuck in rumination over the past. Questions answered in this episode: ■ The unexpected gifts inside the traits of borderline personality disorder (BPD / EUPD)■ BPD and the importance of spirituality■ Benefits of spirituality in recovery from trauma■ How our current “me-centered” culture in the West (particularly in the US) is keeping us stuck – and sick■ Lisa’s view on the future of mental health and personality disorder diagnoses Recommended resources: Lisa’s website (where you can find links to her books and work) - https://www.lisamillerphd.com/  Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we take a closer look at comedian and actor Pete Davidson’s mental health journey, examining his openness about emotional struggles and trauma, and the journey that eventually led to his diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD) in 2017. Known for his candidness, Pete has spoken about facing intense emotions, dissociation, explosive anger, depression, and challenges with substance use from a young age—experiences that have shaped both his personal life and public image. Through interviews and biographical pieces, we’ll explore how Pete’s story sheds light on the complexities of mental health and resilience in the spotlight.Topics covered include:Pete’s early experiences with trauma and loss, including the death of his fatherHis history with inpatient treatment and rehab, and his journey through recoveryHow mental health struggles have influenced his career, including his time on SNLInsights into his relationship history and how emotional challenges have impacted his personal lifeThe role of social media in his life and his decision to step away from itHis experiences with tattoos and tattoo removal as forms of self-expressionBy analyzing Pete’s story, we’ll gain a broader perspective on the intersections of fame, mental health, and personal recovery, uncovering the resilience it takes to face these struggles openly. Join us for a reflective look at the ups and downs of Pete Davidson’s journey and the powerful message his story offers about mental health.Recommended resources:■ Pete Davidson’s full interview with Charlamagne Tha God (YouTube)■ The Tragic Real-Life Story of Pete Davidson (Full Grunge Article)Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Abandonment fear runs deep in the human psyche—it’s a primal instinct, woven into the fabric of how we connect with others. For some, this fear is manageable, an underlying hum that shapes relationships in subtle ways. But for those who struggle with emotion dysregulation, abandonment fear can feel overwhelming and consuming, creating patterns of self-protection that lead to isolation and confusion in relationships.In this episode, we explore what it truly means to fear abandonment on a profound level. We’ll look at the difference between physical and emotional abandonment, how these fears develop, and the ways they can hijack our relationships if left unchecked. Many individuals who identify with certain mental health labels, such as borderline personality traits, often find that their most intense triggers stem from the terror of being left behind. Understanding this connection can be the first step toward breaking out of reactive, self-isolating cycles and finding healthier ways to relate to others.Topics we’ll explore together include:The real, lived experience of abandonment fear, beyond clinical definitionsCommon symptoms and root causes of abandonment fearHow this fear intertwines with BPD traits and emotional reactivityWhat triggers abandonment anxiety, and how it shows up in real-life scenariosThis episode offers a compassionate look at one of our most powerful fears and provides tools for navigating relationships in a way that fosters resilience and connection, rather than withdrawal. Join me as we unpack the layers of abandonment fear and explore ways to reclaim a sense of stability and self-trust. Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’re a highly sensitive person who often feels overwhelmed by intense emotions, this episode is for you. We dive into the experience of having “big feelings”—emotions so strong they can feel all-encompassing and difficult to manage. Together, we’ll explore the concept of emotional permanence, the sensation that certain emotions feel unshakable in the moment, as well as emotional dysregulation, which can lead to intense, unpredictable reactions. We also discuss a challenging but important topic: how difficulties with emotion regulation can sometimes result in unintentional harm to loved ones. This episode sheds light on how to navigate these intense feelings with greater awareness and offers compassionate insights for fostering healthier, more balanced relationships. Join me as we unpack the complexities of big emotions and how we can learn to honor our sensitivity without allowing it to consume us or those we care about.Recommended resources: ■ Martha Beck podcast interview about how deciding to quit lying for a year changed her life■ Book | The Way of Integrity: Finding Your Path to Your True Self by Martha Beck■ YouTube video further describing issues with emotional permanence and BPD■ Article on how to deal with emotional impermanence Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you known for always doing things “right,” following the rules, and keeping your emotions in check? If so, you may have what’s known as an Overcontrolled style of coping. People with this temperament are highly detail-oriented, vigilant to potential threats, and possess strong inhibitory control—the ability to hold back impulses and behaviors. On the outside, they often appear “high-functioning,” but beneath the surface, they may feel isolated, rigid, and unseen, with their struggles often going unnoticed.In today’s episode, I’m joined by Larry Dahmer, a psychological associate specializing in Radically Open Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (RO-DBT), a therapeutic approach designed to support individuals with Overcontrolled coping styles. Larry shares insights into this groundbreaking therapy, explaining how it differs from standard DBT and why it can be transformative for those who feel stuck in cycles of perfectionism and emotional restraint.We explore topics like:What RO-DBT is and how it helps those with emotional overcontrolThe unique role of self-inquiry in RO-DBT and how it fosters flexibility and opennessWhy Western society often encourages emotional overcontrol, and how this can lead to loneliness and disconnectionEmbracing emotions like hopelessness and anxiety as teachers rather than enemiesInspiring stories of change from Larry’s RO-DBT clientsIf you or someone you know feels pressured to always “hold it together” but struggles to connect authentically with others, this episode offers a compassionate look at the Overcontrolled coping style and introduces tools for living with greater openness and fulfillment. Learn more about RO-DBT at https://www.radicallyopen.net/Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever felt completely out of control of your emotions—sudden waves of rage, paralyzing anxiety, or a numb disconnection from life? If so, you might be living outside your “window of tolerance,” the optimal state where you’re able to handle emotions, manage frustrations, and make clear-headed decisions. When we fall outside this window, we can find ourselves hijacked by intense reactions, feeling either overwhelmed or entirely shut down.In this episode, we explore the concept of the window of tolerance and how it relates to trauma recovery and emotional regulation. You’ll learn how our bodies respond to stress through fight, flight, or freeze mechanisms and why staying within this “optimal zone” can be key to living a grounded, emotionally resilient life. This episode is for anyone looking to better understand their emotional responses and develop tools to navigate life with greater stability and awareness.Note: The first half of this episode includes a discussion of a book passage on asexuality and responses to listener questions on intuition, relationships, and emotional dysregulation. If you want to skip directly to the window of tolerance discussion, jump to minute 39.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Weak or nonexistent personal boundaries can leave us feeling drained, manipulated, and even resentful. In this episode, we’ll explore how to recognize if you’re struggling with boundary issues and the impact this can have on your sense of self-worth, emotional stability, and relationships. Many of us learn unhealthy boundary patterns early on, often tied to codependency and the need to please others, which can ultimately lead to feelings of worthlessness and passivity. If you want to skip straight to the boundaries discussion, jump to minute 16 after the listener Q&A. We’ll cover what personal boundaries truly are, why they matter, and how a lack of boundaries can affect your interactions with friends, family, and partners. We’ll also debunk common myths about setting boundaries and highlight the positive changes you can expect when you start asserting your needs.In the premium version of this episode, available for subscribers, we take an even deeper dive into boundary-setting:Understanding that you have the right to set boundaries and define your needsHow to uncover your boundaries by exploring your personal needsStrategies for confidently saying “no” and recognizing when someone has oversteppedHow to stop overcommitting and reclaim your time and energySample conversation frameworks to help you set clear boundaries with loved ones and protect your emotional well-beingThis episode offers practical insights and tools to help you reclaim control over your life, develop a healthier sense of self, and foster more fulfilling relationships. Join us as we unpack the essentials of boundary-setting and create a path toward genuine self-respect and stability.Craving the full episode? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is it possible that what we often call “mental illness” might actually be a form of spiritual starvation? In this episode, we explore the limitations of traditional psychiatric diagnoses and question the narratives that define certain behaviors as “disorders” or “dysfunctions.” Diving into the complexities of the medical model in mental health, we discuss why diagnoses like “personality disorder” are often controversial, considering how they can overlook social context and carry heavy stigmas.We also touch on how trauma-informed care and holistic approaches can offer a more compassionate, empowering framework for healing. From alchemical thought and symbolism to spirituality and myth, I’ll share how these elements have played a transformative role in my own recovery, helping me reconnect with a deeper sense of self beyond diagnostic labels. My journey has been guided by the motto “solve et coagula”—to break down and rebuild—a concept that embodies the heart of this episode.Join me as we question the over-pathologizing of human emotion, explore the powerful role spirituality can play in recovery, and consider how a more integrated approach can help us live beyond the limits of labels. Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this mini bonus episode, I answer a voicemail question from listener Kelly, who asks how to move forward to the next phase of her recovery journey. Together, we explore what it means to deepen your healing, letting go of old patterns and stepping into new growth. To wrap up, I’m also giving you a sneak peek of a premium episode where I dive into the nuanced topic of using sex as a form of self-harm—a powerful exploration of how unhealed wounds can shape our relationship with intimacy.Craving the full version of this episode? Become a Premium Submarine to join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content, including ALL full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more. For the cost of a couple of coffees a month, you can start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I dive into the complex and often unspoken ways that those of us with a history of complex trauma may turn to sex and intimacy as coping mechanisms—behaviors that, rather than healing, can lead to self-abandonment and re-traumatization. Through extensive research, I explore how compulsive sexual behavior and hyper-sexuality can emerge as responses to unprocessed trauma, often serving as temporary escapes that ultimately deepen feelings of disconnection. We’ll examine the nuances of what it means to use sex as a form of self-harm, from sexual masochism to other forms of intimacy that may feel more like self-sabotage than self-care. This episode also addresses the risks of engaging in sex work, such as sugar dating, OnlyFans, or prostitution, particularly for those who haven’t had the chance to fully process and heal from past trauma. By bringing these challenging topics to light, my hope is to encourage a more compassionate understanding of how trauma can impact our relationship with intimacy and to offer insights on recognizing and breaking free from cycles that may be keeping us disconnected from ourselves. Join me for an honest conversation that aims to shed light on the intersection of trauma, intimacy, and self-discovery.Click here to check out the full Contrapoints video I played in the beginning of this episode, you can do so. (It's worth it, trust me.)Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a licensed clinical psychologist and expert on love, intimacy, and relationships, to discuss what it truly means to reconnect with our erotic selves and find grounding in genuine pleasure—whether we’re partnered or not. Together, we explore how cultural expectations, societal pressures, and internalized “scripts” can disconnect us from our own desires, leaving us feeling unfulfilled and even resentful toward intimacy. If you’ve ever felt a sense of “sexual blockage” or wondered if you were somehow disconnected from your erotic nature, this conversation is for you. Dr. Solomon and I discuss the experience of performing sexuality instead of enjoying it, the frustration of feeling like intimacy is something we do for others rather than for ourselves, and the harmful impact of constantly putting our own needs last.We also touch on topics that reveal just how pervasive these struggles are:Dissociating during sex and the emotional distance it createsThe pressure to “perform” sexually as a means of attracting or keeping a partnerDr. Solomon’s perspective on “the OnlyFans phenomenon” and the idea of “sex as self-harm”The impact of hardcore pornography on sites like PornHub, reinforcing damaging gendered expectations in intimate relationshipsWhether you’ve felt disconnected from your body, struggled with resentment toward intimacy, or been wary of “divine feminine” programs that promise to heal you for a steep price, this episode offers a refreshing, honest exploration of what it means to reclaim pleasure and embrace your own erotic journey on your own terms. Join us for a candid conversation that challenges the scripts and empowers you to reconnect with yourself.RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Book | Reclaiming Pleasure by Holly RichmondBook | Come As You Are by Emily NagoskiPodcast | Pleasure MechanicsCONNECT WITH ALEXANDRA:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we’re confronting the often-overlooked sexist and misogynistic roots of psychiatry, guided by insights from Dr. Jessica Taylor, author of Sexy But Psycho. Dr. Taylor reveals that, even today, simply being female is correlated with nearly every mental disorder listed in the DSM-V. Women are statistically more likely to receive diagnoses such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, BPD, and eating disorders, which raises crucial questions about gender bias in psychiatric practices. We’ll examine the historical context of “hysteria” and how early psychiatric labels were used to control and marginalize women. The discussion also covers the disproportionately high rates of BPD diagnoses among women and how feminist critics view this diagnosis as a reflection of societal attitudes toward women’s responses to trauma and oppression, rather than as an inherent disorder. Through this conversation, we aim to expose and challenge the ways gender discrimination continues to shape mental health diagnoses and explore alternative perspectives that validate women’s experiences and resilience.Recommended resources: Please Stop Using My Mental Illness to Fulfill Your Fantasy (Healthline article by Kyli Rodriguez-Cayro)Sexy But Psycho: How the Patriarchy Uses Women’s Trauma Against Them (book by Dr. Jessica Taylor) Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we explore the topic of existential dread, death anxiety, spirituality, and religious trauma, and offer strategies for coping with these challenging experiences. You'll join my dog Cody and me for a walk as we discuss insights on how to find meaning and purpose in life despite the inevitability of death, and how spirituality can provide a source of comfort and solace in times of crisis. We also delve into the topic of religious trauma, discussing how to navigate the pain and confusion that can arise from experiences of spiritual abuse or trauma. Join us as we offer practical tips and tools for managing existential dread, death anxiety, and religious trauma, and discover how to live a more fulfilling and purposeful life.Recommended resources:Movie: “A Ghost Story” (2017)Book on the tarot that jump-started my spirituality journey: “Fearless Tarot” by Elliot AdamEpisode of the podcast where I interview Elliot AdamInspiring talk on the 13th century poet & Sufi mystic RumiTalk on St. Teresa of Avila’s Life & Teaching on SurrenderUnderstanding the Dark Night of the Soul & Spiritual Desolation of St. John of the CrossTalk on The Centering Prayer Meditation from the Festival of FaithsThe Noble Journey from Fear to Fearlessness with Pema ChödrönHo'oponopono Mantra for Healing Everything with Dr. Kim D'eramoCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, you’ll join my dog Cody and me for a walk in the witchy woods while I break in my new Dr. Marten boots. On our walk, I’ll explain why a book about self-compassion made me incredibly furious this week. After that, I’ll tell you why my spirit mother archetype is a mixture of RuPaul and Grandmother Willow from the 1995 Pocahontas movie. Recommended resources:■ Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristen Neff■ The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo■ We Can Do Hard Things podcast with Glennon Doyle Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you experience intense mood swings, anxiety, or depression around your period, you’re not alone. In this episode, we’re diving deep into the effects of PMS, PMDD, and hormonal birth control on our mental and emotional health, exploring how these cycles shape our mood and well-being. Recently, I discovered the practice of Menstrual Cycle Awareness (MCA) through the work of Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer, founders of RedSchool. This framework, which sees the menstrual cycle as a series of inner “seasons,” has been a game-changer in helping me navigate emotional waves and manage severe premenstrual symptoms—including those intense enough to qualify for PMDD.Together, we’ll unpack how period stigma has shaped our understanding of menstrual health, often leaving out crucial insights that can help us reclaim a sense of control. You’ll learn about the four distinct phases of the menstrual cycle and how becoming attuned to these natural rhythms can support emotional regulation. We’ll also explore the impact of hormonal birth control on mood, examining how it can sometimes exacerbate symptoms of emotional dysregulation.Additional topics include:The difference between PMS and PMDD, and whether premenstrual symptoms should be considered a mental disorderCultural attitudes and rites around menstruation from around the worldPractical steps to begin practicing MCA for improved mental health and well-beingThe potential benefits of seed cycling for managing mood swings tied to the menstrual cycleThis episode is a guide to understanding the power of the menstrual cycle—a power many of our mothers and grandmothers didn’t have the chance to share with us. Whether you’re struggling with intense symptoms or simply curious about a new approach to emotional regulation, this conversation offers valuable insights for reconnecting with your body and finding greater balance.Recommended resources:■ Flo Period Tracking app (I use the free version)■ Think Dirty Shop Clean App■ Wild Power (book that explains MCA and the inner seasons)■ Blog article by Rising Woman that breaks down the inner seasons one by oneCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Alessia Camoirano Bruges is an Italian-Colombian artist based in London. Her unique “fluid art” is inspired by its ever-changing nature – just like humans and our emotions. She combines her passion for color psychology, color therapy, fluidity, and her emotional intensity into her artwork. She sees each piece as a cathartic experience in which she can connect to her inner child and relaxed into fully embodied presence & mindfulness. In this episode, we discuss Alessia's battle with her eating disorder and her struggle with emotional dysregulation & chronic pain that led her to her personal rock bottom moment where she realized *she* was the common denominator in her chaotic life. We also discuss how she bravely decided reach out for help and found healing through DBT and EMDR and how this allowed her to begin channeling her big emotions into creative projects, which resulted in her artwork being published in massive publications and getting hired as a documentary filmmaker for Vice.Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:■ Alessia’s experience growing up as an “emotionally intense” child (often being told she was “too much”)■ How to learn to embrace your emotional intensity as an inherent strength and creative tool■ Mollie & Alessia discuss their shared struggled with oversharing■ Getting “the ick” (the sudden desire to rid ourselves of romantic partners or friendships)■ Alessia’s experience trying to repress her eating disorder/depression with extreme fandom■ Suffering in silence with “high-functioning” mental health issues (eating disorders, depression, BPD)■ Alessia’s personal battle with chronic pain■ How Alessia finally found a therapist that was a good match for her who took a holistic approach to treatment (treated her as person, not a disorder)■ Alessia’s struggles with emotional flashbacks (and how EMDR therapy helped her with this)■ How painting has become her most effective therapeutic method■ Alessia’s early childhood intuitive relationship with color that grew into a passion for color psychology■ Alessia’s struggle with imposter syndrome even after the critical acclaim and success of her artwork■ Her experience getting hired to work for Vice and creating documentariesCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Reflecting on the Euphoria character "Cassie," Evan Rachel Wood's new documentary "Phoenix Rising" (about her alleged struggle with domestic violence, grooming, and sexual assault at the hands of singer Marilyn Manson), and recent events with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West inspired me to sit down and reflect on my own chaotic experiences with grooming, domestic violence and sexual assault throughout my teens and twenties. I realized that the thread that connected all of the chaos was an underlying disconnection from my intuition or "gut feeling." In this episode, we discuss how to reconnect to our sense of inner knowing and how to move forward and heal from toxic connections that we previously thought were love but weren't. Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:■ Warning signs you've lost touch with your intuition (and how this often happens in childhood)■ How I learned to overcome my obsession with seeking male validation■ Sexual grooming (recognizing the signs and my personal experiences)■ How I learned that rape isn’t black and white ■ Rebound relationships & domestic violence (rushing into things too soon before knowing the person)■ My experience meeting my current partner and understanding that true love is “friendship first” (finally finding safety in a relationship)■ Strategies on tapping into our intuition when we’ve lost a connection with it (practical exercises from Martha Beck)Recommended resources:Phoenix Rising Documentary with Evan Rachel WoodThe Gathering Room Podcast5 Steps for Tapping Into Your Intuition (Article by Martha Beck)“Trip Down Intuitive Memory Lane” Exercise (Lesson 3)Intuitive Scoring (Lesson 4)Intuition Conversation with Non Dominant Hand (Lesson 5)  Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In my most vulnerable and powerful episode yet, I’m opening up about the hardest, yet most transformative lessons I’ve learned on my recovery journey. Healing from complex trauma and traits of borderline personality can be a painful and isolating path, but I want you to know that hope is real—and by the end of this episode, I hope you’ll feel it too. I’m sharing these insights in the way I wish a friend could have shared them with me, and if you’re here, chances are these words are meant for you. We’ll explore the challenges and breakthroughs in friendships and intimate relationships, uncovering what it means to truly set boundaries and deepen connections. I’ll discuss the role of spirituality, social media, and the importance of reconnecting with our bodies as part of reclaiming our true selves. Together, we’ll reflect on what it means to live authentically, releasing the need to perform or obsess over appearances. In a special segment, we’ll draw on the tarot card The Tower and the story of Maid Maleen to illuminate how collapse and change can lead to profound rebirth and strength. This episode is for anyone in need of guidance, hope, and the reminder that, even in the darkest times, transformation is possible. Recommended resources:Yoga With AdrienneShaking to release stress and traumaVagus nerve reset exercise with Sukie BaxterCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Nicole LePera, known to millions as The Holistic Psychologist, to explore the nature of love, intimacy, and authentic connection. Before her rise to nearly 5 million followers on Instagram, Nicole was a clinical psychologist grappling with the limitations of traditional mental health care—a system that often reduces symptoms to lifelong labels. Through her extensive research into trauma, epigenetics, and conscious awareness, Nicole began to challenge conventional teachings and embrace a more holistic approach to healing. Her bestselling book, How to Do the Work, sparked a movement, and her upcoming work promises to dive even deeper into creating “heart-based, authentically connected relationships.”Together, we unpack the deeper roots of our relationship struggles, exploring why so many of us feel trapped in cycles of dysfunctional patterns. Nicole shares insights on how unresolved fears—like a fear of silence, death, and change—can prevent us from forming genuine, intimate bonds. We delve into the ways in which childhood survival mechanisms, developed to keep us safe, often morph into self-sabotaging behaviors that hinder our attempts at love and connection in adulthood.In this conversation, Nicole also addresses:Why treating mental health symptoms without addressing their roots can leave us feeling stuckThe concept of “love” as a universal human need and how it shapes our early development and relationshipsHow feelings of unworthiness show up in parent-child dynamics and continue in our adult romantic livesThe importance of grieving relationship endings fully, rather than rushing to move onHow boundaries and space can deepen the bonds we share with othersIf you’ve ever wondered why certain patterns seem to repeat in your relationships or how to break free from self-sabotage in love, this episode offers transformative insights. Join us as we dive into the psychology of connection and discover how to cultivate relationships that feel truly heart-centered and whole. Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we dive into the transformative power of self-inquiry—a practice that can illuminate our deepest blind spots and help us navigate the chronic feelings of emptiness and identity struggles often experienced by those who identify with traits of BPD, cPTSD, or complex trauma. Not knowing who we are can be a frightening and isolating experience, but self-inquiry offers a path to reconnect with our authentic selves and cultivate a grounded sense of identity. We’ll begin by exploring what self-inquiry truly is, drawing on techniques from Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO DBT), and discuss how it can reveal patterns of thought and behavior that sabotage our ability to connect with ourselves and others. By finding our “edge” within the window of tolerance, we can start to understand and expand our emotional resilience, staying present even in challenging moments.In this episode, we’ll also cover:Practical steps for uncovering your personal blind spotsCore principles of self-inquiry that bring clarity and insightThe concept of “outing ourselves,” or sharing the self-understandings we uncover with others as a path to deeper connectionHow self-inquiry intersects with spirituality and personal growth, and what symbolism in tarot’s “The Hermit” card can teach us about solitude and self-reflectionJournaling prompts designed to guide you into meaningful self-inquiry and help you start your journey of self-discoveryWhether you’re struggling with self-identity or simply curious about the practice, this episode provides actionable insights to help you cultivate self-awareness and move toward a more grounded, connected life. Join me as we take the first steps on the journey inward, creating space for healing, authenticity, and lasting transformation.Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I sit down with Toronto-based video essayist, artist, and philosopher CJ THE X, whose creative force extends far beyond YouTube. Known for channeling explosive emotions into music and art, CJ shares his journey through the ups and downs of living with BPD and how he’s worked to escape the mental traps that once held him captive.We explore how CJ’s imaginative childhood eventually clashed with the demands of the “real world” as a teenager, leading him to confront his BPD diagnosis, struggles with self-destructive behaviors, and experiences with inpatient psychiatric care. Despite being labeled “high functioning,” CJ found himself dismissed by mental health professionals, leaving him to face the weight of chronic emptiness, intense shame, and fear of abandonment on his own. In this conversation, CJ opens up about the self-sabotaging beliefs that kept him feeling stuck and how DBT therapy became his lifeline, providing the skills and tools to build a life of resilience and purpose. He describes the powerful impact of his “Favorite Person” relationships, the challenge of finding ways to cope with distress, and the importance of navigating emotions without judgment. By thinking dialectically, CJ has found a way to balance opposing feelings, using them as fuel for his art and creative path.This episode is a testament to the power of art and community in the healing journey. CJ reflects on how transforming emotions into music and giving back to others has enriched his life, showing that creativity can be a profound source of strength, insight, and connection. Join us as we dive into CJ’s inspiring journey from despair to empowerment and the tools he’s gained to manage life as a self-employed artist forging his own path. Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Many people who are asked to identify their “true self” (apart from their specific beliefs and behaviors) draw a complete blank. This sense of shame-spiraling after being asked to talk coherently about our sense of identity is even more pronounced for those of us who identify with symptoms and traits of various mental health "disorder" or "dysfunction" labels. Being true to yourself requires that your whole Self be “whole” – or “integrated.” In this episode, we’ll dive into how much of what makes our lives miserable (people-pleasing, staying in toxic relationships, self-sabotaging behaviors, and coping styles) is because we are out of touch with what makes us feel whole. In these moments, our defensive emotions and reactive impulses overrule our Higher Selves. In these moments, we are living out of integrity.Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:■ Why practical skills and therapy might feel like they’re not “working” if you’re living out of integrity■ How and why we compromise our integrity■ How the word ‘integrity’ is intimately related to the psychological concept of ‘integration’■ History of internal family systems therapy and how it relates to the concepts of integrity and integration■ Understanding how our different “parts” try their best to protect us from psychological/emotional pain but end instead causing mental health problems and compulsive/maladaptive behaviors■ Understanding and accepting our caretakers as flawed humans who were disconnected from their “inner conductors” and letting their disowned parts rule the show■ How we externalize old feelings of inadequacy, abandonment and worthlessness and project them onto our partners and friends in adulthood Recommended and referenced resources:Book - The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to You True Self by Martha BeckArticle - How & Why You Compromise Your IntegrityCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this second part of my conversation with psychodynamic psychologist Dr. Jayce Long, we dive even deeper into the emotional patterns that shape our relationships and the path to genuine healing. Building on part one, where we explored the unconscious mind, this episode uncovers the ways in which unresolved childhood experiences continue to influence our adult relationships, often reenacting trauma in subtle yet impactful ways. Dr. Long offers insights into how attachment styles—particularly avoidant and preoccupied/disorganized—tend to attract each other, creating a dynamic that often leads to conflict. Together, we discuss practical tools for breaking these cycles and learning to approach intimacy and trust as a gradual process, rather than a quick fix.Key topics we explore in this episode include:The lasting impact of childhood and adolescent bullying on adult relationshipsNavigating conflict in family and intimate relationships while setting clear emotional boundariesUnderstanding the difference between healthy self-awareness and self-centerednessIdentifying and expressing core emotions—anger, sadness, fear, curiosity, love, and joy—by tuning into our bodies and embracing “complicated” feelingsHow perfectionism in our inner critic once served us, and why evolving beyond it is essential in recoveryHow giving unsolicited advice may unknowingly undermine our relationshipsMoving beyond the concept of “raging” at our inner critic, finding more nuanced ways to build self-compassionThis episode encourages listeners to develop a deeper connection to their emotions and break free from the patterns that keep them trapped in past trauma. Join us as we explore the nuances of emotional healing, offering practical steps for setting boundaries, cultivating trust, and navigating the complexities of self-growth and recovery.Follow Jayce on Instagram @darebeingwithCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

n this episode, I sit down with contemporary psychodynamic psychologist Dr. Jayce Long to explore the power of the unconscious mind and how early, repressed experiences shape our adult lives. Dr. Long sheds light on how hidden memories and emotions from our past can fuel self-destructive patterns, leading to behaviors and symptoms commonly associated with various mental health struggles. Together, we dive into how these unconscious defenses impact us and how we can begin to break free. Throughout our conversation, Dr. Long addresses the impact of repression as an unconscious defense mechanism, keeping disturbing or painful thoughts at bay but ultimately driving toxic shame and self-sabotage. We discuss practical ways to work with the unconscious mind, including labeling emotions without judgment, using critical thinking to manage all-or-nothing thinking (or “splitting”), and understanding both healthy and maladaptive forms of dissociation.We also cover:Recognizing signs of emotional regression and age-stuck behaviorsUnderstanding how attachment styles, particularly disorganized ones, contribute to relationship strugglesBreaking generational cycles of trauma and healing from toxic family dynamicsUnpacking complex topics like the “paranoid-schizoid” and “depressive” positions, which help explain why we tend to label people or situations as “all good” or “all bad”Identifying unconscious signs of emotional abuse and dealing with drama addictionThe long-term harm of childhood emotional neglect (CEN) and the need for “parental mirroring” in healthy developmentDr. Long provides guidance on acknowledging and owning our needs, working through repressed anger and grief, and moving toward self-understanding and healing. This episode is an invitation to look deeply into the unconscious mind and gain practical tools to release long-held patterns, fostering genuine growth and transformation. Recommended resources:YouTube Video | Decoding Mother-Infant Interaction with Dr. Beatrice BeebeFollow Jayce on Instagram @darebeingwithCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Elliot Adam, a seasoned tarot expert with over 25 years of experience, to explore the transformative power of spirituality, tarot, and mythology. Dr. Adam has guided clients worldwide, from Hollywood creatives to doctors and entrepreneurs, using tarot as a tool for accessing the unconscious mind and deepening self-understanding. We dive into the rich symbolism of tarot, examining how archetypes and symbols can illuminate hidden aspects of ourselves and help us move through repressed emotions and self-sabotaging thoughts. Dr. Adam connects the hero’s journey to the major arcana, showing how these timeless archetypes offer a roadmap for personal growth and transformation. Together, we also explore concepts of self-love, reframe our understanding of death, and discuss Carl Jung’s idea of “the shadow.” This episode invites you to look beyond the surface, using symbolism as a powerful lens for healing, self-acceptance, and a deeper connection with your true self.Resources directly mentioned in the episode: Book | Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom: A Book of Tarot by Rachel Pollack Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Anita Federici, a researcher and clinical psychologist with over 20 years of experience specializing in personality and eating disorders. Dr. Federici shares groundbreaking insights into why BPD is so often misdiagnosed, introducing the concepts of emotional undercontrol (UC) and overcontrol (OC)—a new way of understanding behaviors commonly associated with BPD.We’ll discuss the latest neuroscientific research, shedding light on the connection between “quiet BPD” and emotional overcontrol, and examine how these insights are transforming the approach to diagnosis and treatment. Dr. Federici also questions the utility of diagnostic labels, offering a fresh perspective on how to view and support individuals navigating these traits.Whether you’re seeking treatment options or looking to better understand DBT and other modalities, this conversation provides valuable guidance on finding the right program to meet your needs. Join us as we explore the evolving landscape of mental health treatment and the new frameworks redefining how we view and support emotional experiences. Recommended resources:https://behavioraltech.org/ (Marsha Linehan’s Behavioral Tech Website)https://www.youtube.com/c/DBTRU (Official YouTube page for the DBT clinic at Rutgers University directed by Shireen Rizvi) Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You’re not broken. You’re at the edge of something.What if the symptoms, emotions, and struggles you’ve spent your life trying to fix weren’t signs of disorder—but messages? What if your darkest moments weren’t proof of failure, but the beginning of something deeper?Back From The Borderline isn’t just another self-help podcast. It’s a portal. A space where we go beyond surface-level conversations about mental health — beyond labels, diagnoses, and quick-fix advice — into the depths of depth psychology, mythology, archetypes, and the unconscious forces shaping your life. Real healing isn’t about “fixing” yourself. It’s about seeing yourself clearly. Maybe for the first time.If you’re tired of the same recycled mental health conversations… if you know there’s more to your story than a diagnosis and a pill…You’ve found your way here for a reason.Because anyone — even you — can come back from the borderline.Follow Back From The Borderline on your podcast player so new episodes drop into your feed every week.While you're here, why not jump straight into one of my most popular multi-episode deep-dives: ★ Childhood Emotional Neglect Series★ Toxic Shame Series★ Healing the Mother Wound★ Healing the Father Wound→ Ready to take this work deeper? Head to backfromtheborderline.com and click into my Patreon, where you can browse episodes by theme, access my full archive of exclusive meditations, listen ad-free, and unlock Pathwork exercises to bring this work into your life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.