AuDHD Flourishing

An AuDHD therapist! Danielle Aubin (she/they), LCSW, works with neurodivergent clients and has expertise in trauma. We talk about why trauma is such a big deal for ND clients. And the title of the episode comes from their amazing take on why having safe therapy is especially important for ND people, and what that looks like. If you're in therapy or considering it, this episode is for you! (Also if you've experienced trauma from therapy, because this conversation totally validates that also.)Episode originally posted on The Longer Road podcast, June 2023 Danielle's websiteDanielle's TikTok @myautistictherapistDanielle's Instagram @myautistictherapistResources Danielle recommends for finding a therapist: ndtherapists.comautistictherapist.com inclusivetherapists.com-------------------Transcript DocEmail Newsletter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Optimizing (and the related bio-hacking) are really popular... but why? Who are we doing this for, and who really benefits? This episode spans the last several years of my life starting with my first coaching certification that was literally called Optimize at the time. There were some positive benefits such as better sleep, which on the whole improved my mood. But in the long run, there's a potential negative side to the advice to optimize. And at the same time, many AuDHD people will enjoy optimizing at some point, because it's fun! This episode talks about that balance. The questions near the end of the episode if you'd like to reflect on them: Are you multitasking in ways that don't actually feel good, just for the sake of "efficiency?"Are you expending a lot of mental or other kinds of energy to make something perfect, when it could be really damn good at 95% or pretty good at 80% or passable at 65%?Does your current system seem functional? Is it possible to do less and still have it function okay?What are you currently doing more to avoid failure than to move toward what you actually want?Transcript DocEmail Newsletter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks to Amelia Hruby at the Off the Grid podcast for this lovely interview! Here are her show notes: Today I’m joined by coach & composer Mattia Maurée to talk about running a business & navigating social media in a way that supports your unique brain & lived experience.Tune in to our conversation to hear about—Common ADHD, Autistic & AuDHD struggles with workHow to quit overworking as a coping strategyEmbracing a cyclical relationship to social mediaThe importance of play for our brainsHow podcasting serves Mattia’s businessMattia’s method for connecting with the online communities you’re craving“The more I've learned about the brain, the more I've been able to actually accept that I am never, ever going to be able to behave in a neuronormative way or run my business in a neuronormative way. So I have to have space for things to be different." — Mattia MauréeLearn more about Like Your Brain here, and sign up here!Transcript Doc Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Task bracelets can be a task per tag or written really small like I did below... then they stay on your wrist to walk you through the task. Thanks to Caitlin Fisher for the idea!The first half of the episode covers how to make them and how I'm using them.Then it's about the launch of Like Your Brain, an ongoing community space for integration and gentle support. Do less, feel better!The welcome calls are Fri Sep 29 2023 2p EST, and Mon Oct 2 5p EST... hop in if you want to help shape what the space becomes!Task bracelet pic below, linked on Facebook here, also in the Transcript:[image description: Mattia’s hand holding a blue coil bracelet with a green tag attached. Written on the paper inside the tag is the following instructions for doing laundry: 1. Fill basket 2. Take downstairs 3. Pockets/fill 4. Add soap 5. Settings/turn on 6. Timer 7. Pull out line dry 8. To dryer 9. Dryer on 10. Hang line dry]Transcript DocEmail Newsletter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a mind-expanding episode! Cassandra Idris recently founded an organization built around neurodivergent brains at every level, and mutual aid for some of the most marginalized populations in Philadelphia.She speaks eloquently about mental health, being a trans woman and the inherent social betrayals in that experience, and how the system isn't going to pay us to bring it down. Because she's seen the systems from many perspectives (including from the inside as an HR professional), she has a detailed understanding of what it takes to create true change.One of those changes is to create more organizations by us and for us!If you'd like to learn more about the Philadelphia Mutual Aid collective, or donate, you can do that here. And if you're generally curious about how Open Collective works, that's here.You can connect with Cassandra on Instagram hereCassandra's SoundCloud (techno mixes)Transcript DocEmail Newsletter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Feelings, emotions, sensations in the body... We've all received confusing messages around what they mean and what they are. And many autistic folks have trouble connecting to their emotions and related body sensations.They're also important and potentially useful messages from our body as it attempts to stay safe. This episode covers one compelling theory of what feelings (sensations and emotions) are, as well as a variety of tools to get through the day no matter where you are in your journey. Also, just a reminder that whatever you're doing to get through the day right now is okay. You don't owe anyone—including yourself—a specific amount of healing or performing wellness. Book mentioned is How Emotions are Made by Lisa Feldman Barrett. I also mention Linda Thai and Resmaa Menakem. Episode originally published as 009 Feelings: Why?? on The Longer Road podcastLinks:Transcript Doc Email Newsletter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Michael is an AuDHD content creator (with a huge audience) and coach who runs a free AuDHD peer support group. He shares his formula for feeling better, which includes removing negative stimuli to reach neutral, rather than trying to leap straight to happiness. And shares beautifully about how he finds peace in the neutral, since even happiness is a fleeting feeling.You can connect with Michael at the links below:Peer Support GroupAll of Michael's linksInstagram @ADHDruidsTranscript Doc Email Newsletter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Meltdowns and shutdowns appear to be a natural release valve for an overwhelmed autistic brain. They feel out of control and can be quite distressing.While there are ways to push them off, I experience a "point of no return" after which I need some big release or I'm going to feel terrible for days.Learning your triggers, as well as planning ahead for a safer experience if you do have a meltdown or shutdown can lessen our overall stress and shame.(One thing I forgot to record in the episode is that for me, shutdowns are almost always low-verbal or I can't speak at all.)Links:1. Meltdowns & Shutdowns* https://embrace-autism.com/meltdowns-and-shutdowns/2. How it feels to have an autistic meltdown and how you can help* https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/38f5MsC2mB5fnmCr5v77zDn/how-it-feels-to-have-an-autistic-meltdown-and-how-you-can-help3. All About ‘Autism Meltdowns’: Why They Happen and How to Cope https://psychcentral.com/autism/autism-meltdowns4. Autism Shutdown Vs Meltdown: What's the Difference? https://www.andnextcomesl.com/2022/06/autism-shutdown-vs-meltdown.htmlEmail list: https://mattia.ck.page/a6b7c9bf09Episode Transcript*autistic writer Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jes Diverges (she/they) helps fellow autistic ADHDers and has a fascinating background. We dive into how they ended up coaching rather than finishing their therapy degree... and in the process touch on how messed up some of our culture's attitudes are toward mental health!While we certainly don't solve the issue of AuDHD mental health, we talk aboutwhen to take a break from trauma healinghow entrepreneurship has been a surprising part of our trauma healingwhy insistence on one modality such as CBT doesn't serve ushow to balance individual and community healingFrom Jes' website:As an auDHD coach, I empower fellow autistic ADHDers to understand the unique interplay of the auDHD “combo meal” within their minds, and to let go of perfectionism, people pleasing, and unrealistic neurotypical expectations.By embracing radical self-love in place of shame, I guide individuals on their journey to confidently navigate the chaotic intricacies of auDHD life and become the audaciously authentic auDHDers they were meant to be.Resources mentioned:Jes' Instagram & TikTok @jesdivergesjesdiverges.comEmail Jes at [email protected]' Linktree with all the thingsEpisode TranscriptAuDHD Flourishing Newsletter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most people have one or two core self-care needs that, if they're met, everything else feels easier. This episode is about how to figure out yours... and what to look out for when you hear people preaching about their own!There's also acknowledgment that your neurodivergent body and brain may process things in different ways, so the following questions may not be that useful for you.Figuring out your core self-care need or needs (just a jumping-off point!): Thinking back to times in your life when things felt the easiest, what was your life like? Which of your needs were being met fairly well?When life has been a bit easier or better, did you notice any particular ups and downs based on particular needs being met? For example, if you were overall feeling pretty good compared to your baseline, was there anything that particularly threw you off? Or something that could bring you back to that feeling better pretty quickly?Tuning into your body right now, is there anything your body is asking for? This won't necessarily be a core need, it's more a check-in to see what messages your body is already good at giving you.Thinking about the past few days, weeks, or months, are there any messages your body has been consistently giving you? For example, when you've felt tired, does it feel more like you need sleep, or more like you need food, or more like you need to be around another person to recharge? Again, this isn't a perfect metric, just noticing how your body talks to you.Is there any form of self-care that feels like it REALLY fixes a bad day?Resources mentioned: Takedown of Why We Sleep: https://guzey.com/books/why-we-sleep/Commentary on the above post: https://statmodeling.stat.columbia.edu/2019/11/18/is-matthew-walkers-why-we-sleep-riddled-with-scientific-and-factual-errors/Transcript DocAnd one more link someone sent taking down the book Why We Sleep (I haven’t listened to this episode but the links alone look great): https://open.spotify.com/episode/4r0Vawq8xAfnsnKbYVUNhc?si=n7t-koeuS2GXQ2QnA8j4dQ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do we survive capitalism while navigating the ethical dilemmas of making money within this broken system?There's no one right answer, but this episode breaks down my thoughts about it over the past few months.The problem isn't simply the exchange of goods or services for money, it's how late-stage capitalism seeks short-term profits above all else, extracting all the excess labor of the "lower classes" for profit.Ultimately I want more of us to be able to survive capitalism so we can build something better.Resources mentioned:The Moneyless Society podcast & bookThe AuDHD Entrepreneurs & Creatives free facebook group (I no longer am in the group bc I deleted Facebook, and a friend is running it) Podcast transcript doc Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's easy for AuDHD brains to latch onto one concept of a solution, and believe it has to happen that way. But sometimes there's a deeper question or problem underneath that.As one example, many neurodivergent folks want a morning routine... but the real question under that could be "How do I feel good in the morning," or "How do I get my day started?" How do we ask the right questions to make sure we're not wasting our energy? One way to know that part of you believes you're asking the wrong question is if you're experiencing "self-sabotage" when trying to achieve the solution you have in mind. A few potential ways to reframe your question/problem: Take time with it & take a step backExternally process with someone elseCome up with at least 3 different ways this could go down, or different scenarios, that might solve the question/problem (to get your brain thinking creatively, and get another perspective) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a meta-episode about how I think about and approach the science around autism and ADHD (as well as other neurodivergences).While I do my best to do additional research, there are so many things that no one knows about AuDHD brains!One tool to improve this podcast is the Transcript doc linked below, which is publicly available for comments. If you have any questions or comments, you can leave them on the file and I'll try to answer them there and/or in the podcast!Full Transcript hereAuDHD Flourishing Newsletter signup& this week's* newsletter if you wanna check one out * No, I don't send newsletters weekly... yay doing what works for our own brain instead of arbitrary rules/schedules :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm a naturally growth-oriented person... however, I often find myself changing or "fixing" things that others think are a problem. What happens when I reorient to what's actually important to me?The self-help industry will happily sell us solutions, whether or not the problem was actually bothering us before we heard about it.Many of us feel like we're struggling alone. But not only are most people silently struggling, many neurodivergent folks feel that they're uniquely broken. It's such a common experience!It's totally fine to choose to change something about your life. However, it can be helpful to check in with yourself to make sure it's really what you want.The questions I offered around choosing to change something (and especially purchasing a self-help product):Is this actually causing me any harm?Is it harming anyone at all? If yes, is that harm actually meaningful, or am I mostly being harmed by the shame around it?If I changed this about myself, what might "better" look like? Is that definition or desire coming from me, or suggestions outside of myself?Is paying attention to this popular "problem" keeping my attention away from anything deeply important to me? If I didn't put time, attention, or money into this, what might I want to do instead?If I never changed again, would I (still) love and accept myself?Here are the messages I need to hear:It's okay to take breaks from personal growth.It's okay to give up on changing things about yourself just because they might make other people more comfortable.It's okay to focus on what your body and mind actually want and need, whether or not those line up with messaging from people around you.I bet you're actually doing a great job with the circumstances you've been given.Even if you never change or fix another thing, I love and accept you.Full Transcript hereAuDHD Flourishing Newsletter signup Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pasha Marlowe speaks brilliantly about how to navigate trauma, triggers, and sensory needs in relationships as an AuDHD person.Making it concrete, we both talk about a recent meltdown with our respective partners, and how we navigated those during and after.This is a deeply un-shaming episode—we still struggle with relational trauma despite all the "work" we've done. It's okay to have a lot of needs in relationships. And we talk about how hard it can be to figure out what those are and communicate them effectively.If your neurodivergent relationship needs extra support, Pasha is one of the rare practitioners who's ND, trained in family therapy, and works with couples!Resources mentioned:Pasha's websiteNeuroqueering podcast and Mattia's guest episode@neuroqueercoach on TikTok@neuroqueercoach on InstagramNeuroqueer Heresies bookFull Transcript hereAuDHD Flourishing Newsletter signup Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Nat Smith is a vulnerability coach, playwright, and connection witch. They're also my sibling, so you'll hear stories about our childhood.Nat has known they're ADHD for years, and only recently has been exploring the label autistic. One reason it's been a slow realization: they don't experience it as a disorder and don't need a lot of external support day-to-day.Because of that experience, we also touch on the "levels" of autism currently being given in diagnosis. Many Level 1 folks are never diagnosed. And while I would probably be labeled Level 1, I'm actually more Level 2... I've just managed to have family and partners meet my daily needs.Nat's perspective is incredibly helpful for anyone who wonders what autism looks like when it's NOT an obviously disabling condition. This is where the word "Neurotype" is so useful!Disclaimer: And I would hope it goes without saying... every autistic person is different and has their own experience! Many if not most autistic people (and especially those who receive an official diagnosis) do experience autism as a disability for many reasons.Nat's experience does not at all detract from that! AND I feel it's important for more autistic people to be "out," even if they have a less common presentation.   Resources:Nat mentioned Devon Price's book Laziness Does Not Exist and the article of the same name.Nat's Substack newsletter/articlesNat's FacebookAuDHD Flourishing newsletter Full Transcript here  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The idea of "potential" has been weaponized against neurodivergent and disabled kids.Today I dig into why I hate the concept of potential as it's currently used, what I propose we talk about instead, and many personal details of my own journey toward feeling like I'm enough.Feeling a deep sense of enough-ness has totally changed my life. And while we all reach that in different ways, neurodivergent community has absolutely been a part of my healing journey. Love Your Brain July-Nov 2023 cohort (official last day to apply is Thurs June 29th... but also I understand the ADHD brain and we have a few days of leeway as the first group call is the week of July 7th)Cross-posted from The Longer Road podcastFull Transcript hereAuDHD Flourishing Newsletter signup Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Autistic Pride Day, June 18th!What are you proud of?It doesn't negate any of our challenges, but it was fun to focus on what I love about my brain for a whole episode.If you'd like to learn more about Love Your Brain, here 'tis!Full Transcript hereAuDHD Flourishing Newsletter signup Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

AuDHD women are often misdiagnosed, but Kristen's list is ridiculous and includes the word "histrionic" (which I didn't know you could even get in this century)! Her goal was always to build an awesome life instead of just being a compliant patient.And thank goodness, because now she's out here teaching people how to give fewer fucks, raising a family, and making awesome content all over the internet.Links mentioned:Find Kristen at https://kristenking.com/"Fuck this shit I'm out" songSome links from Kristen around that 97% statisticLove Your Brain is enrolling for July (and is 20% full as of posting this episode)Full Transcript here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks so much to composer Hanu Dixit for permission to use his song "A Sitar Story" in the podcast intro/outro! If you like the song, here's the whole thing with no talking so you can listen to it. This song really tickled my brain, so I'm happy to share it! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

AuDHD = autism + ADHD... and also I experience it as its own neurotype, and not simply two "disorders."Here are the sets of questions I asked in the episode, if you'd like to take time with them on your own:Do you feel like advice almost never works for you? Not only NT advice, but even advice from autistic OR ADHD people? That your brain either instantly knows advice won't work for you, or tries it and feels really disappointed because you did have a lot of things in common with the person who gave it to you but somehow still it felt like your body or brain were just not clicking with it?Are the internal parts of you always fighting? Do you feel like the things your body and brain want are often in complete opposition and that it's literally impossible to get your needs met, because different parts of you want such different things to feel safe, regulated, and cared for?Have you managed to build some modicum of success in an area through anxiety and adrenaline? This could be school, work, a creative pursuit, relationships. Have you received external validation for doing this thing well, all the while being absolutely terrified that it's all going to fall apart and you have no idea how to handle how your life feels and it all feels extremely precarious and painful at the day-to-day level? Do you feel the need to hide how much you're struggling, and/or if you've disclosed your struggles have they not been taken seriously?Is your energy quite cyclical, where when you feel like your brain is working you'll push yourself really really hard, and then be totally exhausted and need time to recover? And without adequate recovery time, Is burnout, or burnout-like depression (they can be similar) a frequent experience for you? Or do you live in fear of it?Thanks to Hanu Dixit for permission to use the song A Sitar Story.Full Transcript hereAuDHD Flourishing Newsletter signup Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Being autistic and ADHD sometimes feels like having two brains that are fighting each other! This podcast is for any AuDHD person who struggles with the minutiae of life... and for those who want to move beyond that to talk about what our neurotype makes possible.We'll hear from other AuDHD people about what works for them. We'll hear about the latest science and research. And we'll hear many practical tips... because we're all different, and we need to hear all the options to figure out what may work best for us!If you'd like to stay updated, you can find Mattia on the AuDHD Flourishing newsletter (no longer on instagram at all) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.