Alex and Adrian's Unattended Baggage

US citizens threatened with deportation as Congress cowers and SCOTUS is ignored, Blond Barbie’s “proof” exonerates deportee, Pentagon in chaos as four high-ranking officials fired for leaking Hegseth’s transgressions to the media, DOGE helps Russians hack NLRB, Alex says interrupting is rude, but firebombing is OK, Adrian once again questions his sanity, and are 50501 soon to be 5150’ed?

Alex and Adrian put politics on the back burner to do a musical competition, declassified DoD COVID documents prove we were right again, the tech bros are gonna need some pissed-off Boomers, Trump threatens DEI law firms into pro bono work for him, insider trading is the new black, and nothing says “Freedom” like a military parade for a leader’s birthday.

Israel wants America to bomb Iran and Trump dutifully follows orders, this show is living and (mostly) dying in 7/4 time, Trump uses math or something to impose tariffs on penguins but not Russians, markets respond like it’s 1929, Congress responds like it’s 1933, MAGA responds like Fox News tells them to, and we still need a 2nd mortgage to buy a dozen eggs.

Adrian and Alex debate whether their son Mikey should join the Marine Corps, the most powerful people in the world use free apps on their hacked smartphones to bomb brown people, Congress debates whether to abolish one of the three branches of government, your DNA will go to the highest bidder, Big Pharma blames weed for COVID vaccine side effects, and America embraces concentration camps.

Alex makes the mistake of bringing up AI and Adrian makes him regret it, now Trump wants England to annex the US, Elon might be a Chinese asset, work is underway to ensure the Epstein files are completely redacted, the Alien Enemies aren’t who you think, one ceasefire is shabar and the other is mertvyy, and are Social Security checks going bye-bye?

Adrian responds to listener who thinks he’s too anti-Russia, we hatch a scheme to launch the YAAIIYBTC Coin (You’re An Idiot If You Buy This Coin) Cryptocurrency, Trump provides full transparency into his bribe-taking operation, Hegseth gives the rest of the world an espionage windfall, DoD says AI will start making decisions for them, and we’re still trying to figure out what the overall plan is here.

We do a deep dive into the historic Oval Office Reality TV show, and what the fallout from the falling out will be, including what each sides’ true motive may have been, we contemplate the role of Russia, Israel, and the tech billionaires role in steering America’s future and where it all might be heading, and we wonder whether a nuclear war might be the best possible outcome.

As Trump and Putin carve up Ukraine, we go through the potential scenarios, and try to figure out whether Trump is a Russian asset, or he has just ensured Putin’s defeat in a brillant manipulation…and if so, did he actually mean to do it. Warren Sapp knows his rights, prosecution screws up bigtime in the Luigi trial, and with the Prophecy of the Popes come true?

Alex and Adrian have a strenuous debate over…socks, Elon and his kid show the world who’s boss, if he actually abolishes the IRS then maybe he IS my President, corporations don’t have political ideologies, we’re gonna need more asteroids, maybe that’s enough intelligence, it’s now called the Colossus of Choads, and you’re telling me 10,000 Mexican troops on the border is a good thing?

Adrian thinks he figured out Elon the tech bros’ secret plan, and he lays out the process they’re using to collapse the US government and replace it with Galt’s Gulch for them and The Matrix for us, the Super Bowl proves anti-Woke is the new Woke, Alex urges you not to charge your EV past 80%, and what’s up with all these Nazis?

Alex goes on a rampage against Senators for picking on his (possibly) turn-coat girlfriend, DeepSeek’s “inner monolog” sounds like a foul-mouthed, stress-out cubicle worker, we wonder if Trump & Elon are actually planning an “Oceans 11” heist, the War on Woke goes Cyber, and we’re not buying the FAA’s stories…any of them.

Alex’s OCD extends to social invitations, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of Trump’s first week in office, Biden pardons Fauci for murdering 20 million people, maybe America just needs to get laid, we’re pulling for the New California Republic, our karaoke experiment goes horribly wrong, and did Elon rig Pennsylvania?

Aging Gen X’ers Alex and Adrian bemoan everything wrong with these darn kids today, Alex learns his girlfriend has been lying to him, there are more robots than humans now fighting in Ukraine, new “Deportation” reality show premieres Tuesday, get ready for X-Tok, government stealing babies from the womb, and there’s a reason you’re dreaming of Jake from State Farm.

Adrian stumbles upon a voodoo ritual while waiting for his cyborg wife, Alex proposes a Presidential Dead Pool, America is colonizing like it’s 1825, META democratizes censorship, US House (AKA AIPAC) saves Bibi from the lawman, Ohio will bill you for the body cam, ackchyually it’s “The Gulf of Florida,” and LA apparently thought EVs and goats would save them from global burning.

Alex plans to study the Bible to combat Christians, Adrian re-gifts Alex then demands payment, we should ask ourselves why military vets are committing terror acts, NIH did gain-of-function research on Bird Flu in COVID reboot, you don’t have a right to clean water because of political donations, and Americans apparently no longer understand fog.

If Lincoln had his way we’d all be dancing the hokey pokey, Trump reached down between his legs and eased the seat back, check the nursing homes if you’re looking for members of Congress, new law will turn Gen Alpha into world-class hackers, and without government who will build the radioactive roads?

Google CEO says “we better have our hand on the plug” when he turns AGI loose, how to become a professional drinker, crude oil now being delivered by sailboats, government tells officials to use Telegram because the NSA got hacked, beware the wrath of Gaetz, Assad flips and turns to Israel to save his skin, and we add Cheech & Chong to the Dystopian Future Chart.

We deep dive into the “drone” phenomenon and lay out multiple theories as to what is happening, why, and how it might all end, Luigi becomes America’s new favorite folk hero for good reasons but possibly bad outcomes, AI whistleblower suicided by OpenAI, Syria tries to find itself as Israel grabs their land, and why Alex and Adrian disagree of whether peace is possible in Ukraine.

House Oversight Committee report finds that COVID was engineered by NIH and leaked from Wuhan Lab and the media completely ignores the story, CEOs run for cover as Americans cheer for “hero” assassin, Joe pardons Hunter and himself by proxy, Assad flees Syria as rebels take Damascus, and why can’t the military shoot down drones?

Adrian is irrationally afraid of Russia, so he spends the 20 minutes explaining to Alex why not to be afraid of Russia, Mikey helps us explore the benefits of having your clone living in a van down by the river, Gaetz gets a Cameo while Legal Barbie gets his job, Bibi declares pointing out war crimes is antisemetic, and Chinese spies spy on US spies spying on Americans.

Alex breathlessly analyzes Trump cabinet picks, while Adrian feigns interest and impatiently waits to talk about AI eradicating humanity, there’s a war on for your Onion, the government’s aliens are leaking, more reasons to never call the cops, Biden pets Pooh, and is Elon a puppy dog or puppet master?

Season 47 of “American President” was mildly entertaining, but the plot left something to be desired..2 stars, Alex rages at Libertarian Vice Chair for going full Lewinsky on Trump, RFK’s appointment to FDA unlikely to be confirmed by Big Pharma, Trump’s “peace deal” in Ukraine likely expand war in Europe, Joe Rogan is the new kingmaker, and Elon might have been playing 4D chess after all.

Alex tries an open mic and Trump deepthroats one, the final week of the election is garbage and firing squads, $41 billion in climate funds missing from World Bank and media doesn’t care, Secret Service doesn’t understand how mobile apps work, AI ruined Irish Halloween, the cops are the Johns, and government raids home to save a squirrel then kills it.

Despite Adrian’s insistence Alex fails to get the GIMPS, Rogan limits Trump speech to three hours, US intentionally leaks Israeli attack plan to Iran, Oregon police host “stop resisting” hide-and-seek event, AI chatbot kills 14-year-old boy, and more evidence your hurricane insurance claim will be denied, and is Diddy pimping for ET?

Pentagon confirms mothership and UAPs swarmed US military bases for weeks, whistleblower and congress members confirm program to retrieve alien crafts and bodies, we explore the gender roles of shotgun and the unspoken rules of the back seat, Google, Amazon, and Microsoft all buying their own nuclear reactors to power AI, Gen Z thinks Hitler had some good ideas, and judge tells Florida “It’s the First Amendment, stupid.”

We share tales of our tempestuous affair with Helene and Milton, Alex road rages at women and gays in gas lines, Adrian still hoping for a mass permanent evacuation of Florida, Teslas really don’t like water, Trump warns Detroit it might end up like Detroit, Biden’s dementia starting to sound sane, China’s all up in our back door, and this show is definitely not full of drugs.

Adrian welcomes the next hurricane while Alex continues his storm profiteering, we ponder which global crisis is most likely to initiate World War III and stop the aliens and AI, maybe they should stop telling Joe Biden what’s going on in the world, you know you’re a cop when you get away with a dead hooker in the trunk, and…most importantly, who has the best burgers?

Alex and Adrian tell tales of their wild night with Helene, we discuss the real economics of homeowner’s insurance and why your claim will be denied, Israel picks a fight and hopes their big brother ends it, NYC mayor gets caught with his finger in the Turkey, legal loophole lets “non-profit” lobbyists buy politicians, and DNA testing uncovers kidnapped children and slave owners.

Israel invents gender reassignment terrorism, Ukraine makes mushroom cloud outside Moscow, Three Mile Island nuke plant to exclusively power Microsoft AI, third richest man in the world explains how AI will control your behavior, scientists want to throw ice cubes at hurricanes, we predict P Diddy didn’t kill himself next week, and we explore the possibly interdimensional nature of consciousness without even being high.

Alex remembers 9/11 for completely different reasons, Adrian hopes Tulsi Gabbard is on Russia’s payroll and not just stupid, how police brutality affects your fantasy football league, Trump dodges another bullet and gets another side piece, CIA gets sloppy, Israel heads north, US subs get steamy, and you can actually breathe through your rectum.

We explore several federal, state and local cases of government corruption, and how it always comes back to bribes, blackmail, and/or espionage, we mourn the demise of privacy and anonymity through devices and biometrics, and their economic and political implications in conjunction with AI, Israel takes more pages from the reich’s playbook, 9/11 was a (Saudi) inside job, and the tragic tale of the double-agent whale.

Adrian contemplates entropic beer and encourages Alex to capitalize on consuming it, Governments around the world don’t want you talking to each about things they don’t like, Harris, DeSantis and Trump all do the political two-step after stepping in it, CIA allegedly saves Islamic State from the wrath of Swifties, and that symbol of American Freedom is just big-boned.

Alex and Adrian explore the cultural ramifications of transgenre music artists, Ron DeSantis is about to be electrocuted by the third rail of Florida politics, Fauci beats the odds and gets West Nile Virus – vaccines likely to follow, US government finally tells the truth about Fluoridated water, all the cool kids are shoplifting, and there’s plastic in your brain and your naughty bits.

America’s getting more brown, so y’all white folk better raw dog it, hypocritical left trans-shames Vance for being a hypocrite, learning the psychology of a totalitarian peasant, Trump’s Tic-Tacs and Harris’ word salad perfectly describe why we really have inflation, you’re really NEET, how many chicken wings can you get with $1.5M, and did the US give up Mossad agents to Iran?

Ukraine brilliantly turns the tables on Putin, US wins gold in the sport of outrage at the Olympics, Hamas leader concedes to ceasefire demands so Israel executed him, Chicago PD black site revealed, RFK Jr. describes how he staged a Central Park bicycle crime scene to cover up the roadkill bear he planned to eat (not a typo), and retail stock brokerages blatantly demonstrate how capitalism is a rigged game.

Adrian theorizes (hopes) the Obama endorsement is a smart strategy, Alex enjoys cigars at the drive-through pharmacy, “Brat” Kamala cackles about coconuts, something smells in the Olympic pool, Trump implies he wants to be dictator for life and Biden reforming SCOTUS to help him do it, and if the government wants to deport all illegals, they’ll need to hire illegals to do it.

Alex gives his conspiracy theory on how the WNBA tried to fake the Trump shooting or something, RNC goes full Idiocracy, DNC nominating convention likely implode into glorious chaos, Google spell checker portends the rise of corporate thought police, SCOTUS changes will usher in a totalitarian dictatorship, and 2.4 milliseconds ain’t what it used to be.

Biden/Trump ticket vows to defeat Zelensky, Florida government leaks SSNs & medical records for millions, FBI illegally covers up massive AT&T hack, “COVID Part II: Birds of Prey” coming soon, Israel killing kids with US weapons and both sides hiding it, cops pissed paraplegic wouldn’t step out of vehicle, and our Pavlovian response to manufactured outrage.

Adrian and Alex dig into archeological conspiracies, Biden wants pudding before nap time, SCOTUS overturns Magna Carta and Trump immediately promises military tribunals for political enemies, FedEx now stands for the Feds Examining you, old dirt dished out on RFK after debate, and maybe it’s time to get rid of what the bankers call “capitalism.”

Alex and Adrian aced their cognitive ability test and then beat Medicare with a 6 handicap, Michelle Obama now at 7-to-1 to be the next President, how Israel uses AIPAC and Epstein blackmail to control America, Libertarians might’ve helped Assange go free, Boeing CEO kinda-sorta admits to murder, how AI will play fetch with us, and get ready for human-skinned sex dolls.

Alex goes full Karen, Jackie Gleason gets Adrian banned from Reddit, the Military-Industrial-Phareceutical Complex dis-infos China, Fauci covers up puppy abuse, crime down but police killings up, “Ban This Book” gets banned for mentioning banned books, sober Hulkster hawks patriotic suds, Shaboozy culturally appropriates, and police street gangs are actually a thing.

NY Post reports Fauci & 260 NIH scientists received over $1B in royalties from pharmaceutical companies then tried to cover it up…and nobody cares, odds of AI exterminating mankind now at 70%, Alex Jones gets bankrupted, your auto insurance is spying on you and it’s not the way you think, X gets X rated, and don’t drive through Texas if you’re planning to…well, you probably just shouldn’t drive through Texas.

Corrupt judge sides with corrupt DA to convict corrupt former and possible future corrupt President, BLM should teach MAGA how to riot, Bibi says FU to US peace deal, US & Europe take the shackles off Ukraine and Putin is super cereal about using nukes, Gen Z sees America as a dying empire led by bad people, and beware of zombie mortgages.

Americans remember those who died for our freedom by going through TSA checkpoints, Biden asks Kenya to rough up black people in Haiti because optics, our WW3 bingo cards are filling up, Bibi has warrants, Putin tries space war, Xi tries a blockade, media bites on head transplants, and seriously Libertarian Party… “Become Ungovernable?”

Alex learns not to take his crappy car to a fancy dealership, Adrian says “FaQ*, Alex!” and goes on a doomsday rant, a totalitarian politician makes us defend a pathetic antisemitic dentist, Congress goes full-on Jerry Springer, Netanyahu says nobody helped the Jews in WWII, fake science is everywhere, and Trump praises the “late, great Hannibal Lecter.”

Alex slays a Walmart Karen, Adrian gets his hopes up for a geomagnetic apocalypse, DeSantis keeps banning things that don’t exist, Israel threatens to kill more civilians if we don’t give them more weapons to kill civilians with, Biden’s economic advisor isn’t sure how money works, and a 66-year-old Trump supporter learns he’s actually an illegal immigrant who committed voter fraud.

Alex is vexed and distressed that Donald J. Von Shitzinpants will speak at the Libertarian National Convention, but Adrian is unceremoniously nonplussed, Feds chill a bit on weed, another Boeing whistleblower ends sleeps with the fishes, Israel rejects ceasefire and bombs more civilians, while American cops gleefully beat up reports and kids who complain.

Alex wants to hang out with the cool beer kids, Adrian uncovers Amazon underwear conspiracy, we’ll have more hurricanes this year because cleaner air is causing global warming, God’s Chosen intelligence agency gets First Amendment carve-out, and Americans are very excited about this election because fluoride.

Alex gleefully reviews the Civil War movie, Adrian contemplates animal consciousness, the self-immolator didn’t actually sound totally crazy, John Wayne Bobbit is a Real American, we all work for the NSA now, and does Kona Blue mean that interdimensional beings plan to eat us?

New DIY Medicare plan makes Adrian an amateur ICU RN, Alex wants half-staff OJ tribute, Israel trying to force US into war with Iran, the bi-partisan politics behind spying on Americans, how NPR lost America’s trust, McCarthy calls out Gaetz, and what would YOU put in the Dune popcorn bucket?