Alex and Adrian's Unattended Baggage

Iran accepts America’s unconditional surrender in The Great Lego War, Pentagon threatens to bomb the Pope, Antichrist-hunter Thiel was pedo-spymaster Epstein’s partner, Anthropic Mythos AI effectively ends all commerce, methinks the woman scorned doth protest too much, Alex thinks he’s a big tipper, and remember, when you’re wiping yourself with newspaper…you should’ve just paid them enough to live.

Alex talks about a deeply unsettling personal experience that has completely altered his opinion of mankind, while Adrian – in a bizarre juxtaposition - defends the goodness of humanity. Eventually we talk about pedantic stuff like global war, economic collapse, genocide, rampant corruption of power, religious hypocrisy, and, of course, aliens.

Alex puts his finger on some lesbians’ pulse. The Iran war spirals as Israel plays Trump like a shofar, depending on who you ask, the US and Iranian negotiations are happening (or not happening) and going very well (or not). Iranian hackers are scoring hits on US leaders and infrastructure. Oil, gas, food, plastics and microchip supply chains are all breaking. And it’s definitely time to cash out, ‘cuz the casino is on fire.

Alex realizes the average man on the street doesn’t really want to think about stuff, Adrian realizes that every dollar he’s ever paid in taxes got blown up in one 13 second video, Operation “Israel’s Armageddon” isn’t distracting enough from Epstein, so Operation “Aliens” is on deck, and – oh, yeah – the economy is collapsing, but at least we’re now seriously talking about teleportation to Waffle House.

The Iran war is spiraling out of control and nobody in charge seems to know what we’re doing or why…but they all seem very excited about it, the entire economy is collapsing and they seem pretty much OK with that too, everyone is talking about Biblical end times and they’re totally stoked about that, rumors swirl that Netanyahu might be dead, and ‘Lil Marco parades around in Daddy’s big shoes.

Adrian warns everyone to sell everything right now, Alex gets angry at wooly mammoths, the entire military command structure says tells the troops they’re fighting to usher in the Second Coming, which is totally kosher with our Israeli overlords, and it’s apparently also OK with the “Interdimensional Beings” congress keeps talking about, but the one thing nobody’s talking about is the Epstein files.

The United States of Israel attacks Iran because Epstein, Trump promises to tell the truth about aliens because Epstein, Pentagon warns of demons, Clintons testify about Pizzagate…I mean Epstein, ICE builds FEMA camps…I mean detention centers, Anthropic says no to killer AI robots and mass surveillance, but ChatGPT says “No problem,” while the cross-eyed cosplay G-man pretends he won the gold.

Adrian reports Alex to HR over the “hug quota.” The Epstein rabbit hole deepened and exposes unthinkable evil, but few people noticed because of a very convenient kidnapping and a Bad Bunny. Feds release Israeli national who ran bio labs with unknown dangerous compounds in houses owned by the Chinese. Top AI researchers keep warning “world is in peril,” while SB ad tell you not to worry about it.

Epstein files just keep getting worse for the rich and powerful, and confirm many past conspiracies were at least partially true, Tulsi’s Putin is showing, Alex predicts blue midterm Tsunami which will change absolutely nothing, finally an AI Adrian is OK with, The Don wants to count all the votes, but we’re sure the coming global economic meltdown will help, right?

Pizzagate turns out to be real, but MAGA now calls it a hoax. The Left defends the 2nd Amendment as MAGA asks “why did he need a gun?” Trump sues his own IRS for leaking his data, while DOGE leaked literally everyone’s data. AI agents create their own social media and religion to ponder the meaning of existence, but at least the global economic and political system is about to collapse.