Alchemy This

A graduating class attempts to set a Prank Day precedent… Dumbass welders lock the boss in a cage, but to what end…? House Cleaners fear the homeowner is criminally insane… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

An insider’s view of league bowlers reveals an otherworldly underbelly… Is that the REAL Thor, God Of Thunder, on the main floor of Comic-Con…? The president of a major toilet paper company addresses his troops. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

LIVE From The Westside Comedy Theater: Frat Pledge Attempts to Impress; the South African Spirit, Tokoloshe, Is Pissed for Reals; How Many Brilliant Scientists to Change a Lightbulb? Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ulterior motives abound during a snipe hunt of the southern rich and infamous… What the hell is up at this “friendly” game night gathering…? Crappy products from big time celebs somehow start working… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Writer Blocked, A Lame Muse and A Publisher Sans Patience; Madame Wednesday Knows Your Card; Psychiatrist as Institutionalized Patient.A writer attempts to replace his muse, while his muse attempts to move on… These Tarot Card readings are unlike all others… Newly arrived psychiatrist is treated like another asylum patient. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Moonshiners Become Secret Agents; Aspiring Actress As A 911 Operator; Worst Driving Test Ever Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Not So Private Honeymoon, Snoofa Finds the Father, Are You Smarter than a Millennial? Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Interns Hired to Grow Marijuana; Bowling Tournament Cops vs Criminals; Bird Watchers vs Bird Hunters Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Americans touring "Hobbiton" reinvent the term “Ugly Americans…” Pablo Escobar’s free-range hippos are a problem… Hitler’s secrets revealed during a never-seen episode of Antiques Roadshow. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A lot of questions and a ton of concerns when nerds go camping… A group of Scooby-Do type ragamuffins try to solve a mystery in Australia… Creepy pets of annoying roommates plan a mutiny. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This, in fact, is NOT the family you want to introduce your new boyfriend to… Let’s get meta - As we get to know Doug Boehm and Rafael Britto juuuuuuust a little too well… Oddly, working at the Sex Shoppe is not as easy as it seems. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A disgraced scientist’s tries his hand as a history museum guide… Citizens of a Television City, CA, would like a word with the town council… Lunchtime at a Rain Forrest Café, and one waiter is instantly weeded. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A weekly meeting for those tortured by sharing a name with a known TV or film character… Simply put, the single worst construction crew ever assembled… Barely friends and barely 20, they share a house and none of the responsibilities… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A seniors’ Bingo Night is run by the mob, but not well… A concessions vendor works the stands and buddy it ain’t pretty up there… They love when the leaves turn color in the fall. For the locals, they are the worst people alive. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When a Texas family gathering reveals the patriarch is an ancient wizard, so someone should call David Blaine… A team of surgeons discover they operated on the wrong patient and immediately get to work on the cover-up… How can the last human worker compete and survive surrounded by Artificial Intelligence employees? Teach them improv! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After sharing what they remember last, complete strangers realize they’re alien abductees in space… Dogs at a shelter make plans to escape… The return of Marvin McKuen offers insights of his past as well as his ability as a waiter. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just shy of nothing gets settled when absurdly rich idiots maneuver… Old ladies, dumb-dumbs, assorted jerks and even BATMAN have do time at the DMV… This hospital is busy as any, but this one has a physician who cheated on every level of his higher learning and it’s comin’ crashin’ down today. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

LIVE SHOW from the Dynasty Typewriter Theater—Classic fish-out-of-water, when an Australia gal arrives at a U.S. college… The worst problems any family can face is waiting for you on House Hunters… A true democracy, respect for women, if not all aboard, and fairness throughout the day is not what was expected from these ol’ timey pirates…Featuring: David Koechner Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Passengers onboard a ship to America in 1905 share dreams and fears… The rise up the business office chain of command is made easy for a pair of new employees because the competition is historically weak… We take it for granted that our pets don’t judge us. That ends today… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Inept bank robbers seem like geniuses compared to those running the joint… The two baristas lives at this coffee drive-thru are simply more oddly compelling than yours or mine… Sure, they took the oath to Do No Harm, but these doctors specialties suggest otherwise. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A taping of a daytime TV show starring Marvin McCue as a judge who precides over actual legal disputes… A witness weighs in while viewing a wildly different police line-up for The Usual Suspects… With zero previous climbing experience, office co-workers have to climb up Mt. Everest, with the worst guide ever, to learn proper team-building. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A couple of wolves lead a Harp Seal, some birds and other four-legs migrating north through the dead of winter… Forget snakes, the people on this flight, while super pleasant, are considerably more dangerous… Father welcomes dimwits, nudniks and near-do-wells to from all walks to the commune… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A loving grandmother mistakes a visiting demon for her estranged grandson… Fellow flat-earthers meet up at the office of a new dating site dedicated to them… Family and friends surprise a man in his home, insisting he has a unhealthy obsession with his MANY guinea pigs… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

At a Day Care for genius little ones, a plan is afoot to escape… In a small town populated with Non-Intellectual Property Anthropomorphic Puppets (NOT MUPPETS), two lawyers attempt to handle their legal needs… A baseball team has a new mascot, and it’s so off-putting that the fans are none too pleased Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

They pride themselves on never closing, but this pizza place gets hit with everything including the End Days… The crew working a research station at Antarctica have simply been around each other too damn long… While these geniuses are unmatched in their science lab, they are beyond worthless when it comes to their yard sale… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

One young man’s dream of playing professional Fularg wreaks havoc on his parents plans and dreams… Two policeman raid a home where children have charged a bully with war crimes against the school… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If the super odd people on this long flight don’t amaze, disturb and delight you, check into a hospital STAT… The folks hired to handle the A/V production at a large event were not destined for this particular gig… Because there’s always room for improvement in any business, the mafia hires a Human Resources person… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Several assassins aboard a blimp, all unknowingly after the same target, but can ANY make the hit… As students wait to audition, some are supportive of each other, and a few get a real chance to change their lives… Greeting one annoyingly difficult animal owner after another is one man’s life, and that man’s name is “The Hean…” Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Too much sharing of secrets in the workplace is never a good idea, until now… Weary passengers attempt to get through customs, where lying is still not a good idea… Several rock stars from yesteryear form a super group and gather in the studio to record. The producer hired to reignite the magic is just a little insane… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The year is 1492, and before Christopher Columbus is hired, several others vie for the honor of discovering the new world… An old lady thief has eluded capture for far too long, and several workers at a department store are hellbent to catch her in the act… An otherwise quick stop at a 7-Eleven reveals more self-discovery than the customers thought possible as they step up to the counter to purchase their crap… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After reaching the next round of competition, we go backstage as several dance teams need to come up with new routines on the fly… This group therapy session for a gathering of twins is far more revealing than anyone present, if not the known universe, thought possible… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When two Animal Rights Activists go undercover as employees at a zoo, priority one, of course, is to release all the animals… One person meets all the multi-verse versions of themselves. Oddly, not everyone gets along… It may be closing time at the Vatican, but a few in the Diocese work through the night fighting crime in Rome… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

First dates are rarely easy. This one quickly sets new highs of oddness, disruption and distraction… Folks on a charter bus en route to Las Vegas encounter more excitement than they paid for… A team gathers as their new manager lays out a whole new game plan that may or may not resemble the game as they knew it, nor as intended. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mom relocated us several times, and then strangers took over our daily activities… Hell, we were even introduced to our protective doppelgängers… All this and WAY more, because mom’s new fella said the mafia was looking for us. This bizarre adventure consumes the entire episode, and, thankfully, it gets super weird… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On their way to review a mountainside restaurant, a group of semi-famous, hipster foodie restaurant reviewers get stuck on the road… We learn too much about the salespeople in a Real Estate office as they compete for a chance to rep a new listing of an underground mansion… What’s in a name, is the question before the Ohio State governing board. An owner of a nail salon called “Hand Jobs” fights for his creative freedom. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The latest documentary about Studio 54 left out a few interviews of former employees and patrons, but we got ‘em… During medieval times, several set out an epic quest in search of something majestic… While detectives inspect a crime scene, a true crime podcaster attempts to record an episode as he observes them at work… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The term “ugly Americans” reaches new heights when a pair of Australian locals try to keep them all on the path during a guided tour of the outback… A group of friends gather in the woods to search for famed “Bigfoot,” and he has never been more safe. We’re talkin’ real dumb-dumbs… First days are always tough, but for this young production assistant, it simply couldn’t go worse for a on the set of a blockbuster film shoot. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The home of Connie and Carl Fleckman has been updated with artificial intelligence domestic help in all areas. Surprisingly, things go a little sideways. Naturally, all involved end up in a courtroom and then prison… Walmart’s new wedding section includes holding actual wedding, and all the fixin's. You think you’re having a tough day…? Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

All the major organs inside a body engage in a war of words, which then escalates to a dangerous place… At a small town “state fair,” the locals compete in a chili cook-off, and there’s a new rule this year: All entrants must use of an alternative meat… The field reporter who’s covering the chili cook-off throws it to the local TV news team, and we follow the in-fighting back at the station. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Several people—some patients—get stuck on a hospital elevator when it breaks down, and they do NOT get along… Two cavemen have time-traveled to modern life and now work at an App developing company. Their ideas don’t completely suck… The bizarre cast of characters that work at this car dealership shouldn’t actually work anywhere selling anything. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if CNN-type breaking news was delivered similarly by the town criers of the day in Medieval England. Ancient and modern day news styles fight for center stage… We eavesdrop in on a Residents Committee Meeting at a retirement home called “Leisure World.” Things get out of hand instantly, but it does allow the return of a favorite Alchemy This character, “Martin McCue…” It’s minutes before the event/match between not-yet-famous pro-wresters “The Tickler” and “Snakeman,” we’re privy to negotiations backstage between the wrestlers, a promoter named The Colonel and a wannabe mobster regarding who’s gonna win, and who needs to lose… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There’s a jumper, and all efforts to stop him seem to create one more insane problem after another; In this corporate office, new and historically unnecessary levels of employee-created chaos are realized; Neighbors have competing lemonade stands that lead to bizarre conflicts as well as an offer for protection from crooked cops. Featuring Brad Norman! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the floor of a FurryCon, strangers sniff out more than human contact and interaction, and international intrigue is the least of it. In an interrogation room, two cops try ye olde Good Cop/Bad Cop to get a confession out of a serial flasher, and it quickly gets complicated with too many details. In an attempt to put a dent in the meth business, a dealer switches to carrots with no ranch dressing. Yeah, no, it’s not an easy transition… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When a Health Inspector surprises a restaurant, the staff does their damnedest to keep the customers happy while explaining a multitude of infractions. A couple of ghosts show the newbie around; they haunt some teenagers playing with a ouija board. And a plug for the Alchemists performing LIVE on March 2nd at Westside Comedy Theater. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From Listener Mail: Things go a little sideways when a man attempts to help and ultimately take control of an accident scene. A production office for a wrestling federation, wherein new names and characters are created and then cast. Getting an official sit down with the local Mafia don are as difficult as you might think… A plug for the members of Alchemy This performing LIVE on March 13th at Westside Comedy Theater. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When the Gods from all known (and some not-so-much) history get together, all hell breaks loose… Ripped from the day’s headlines, Passengers on Empress of the Sea cruise ship spot a small boat in their path. Attempts are made in earnest to offer assistance, and fail most uniquely… Also ripped from news, A Law Passed In Canada to stop prosecuting those who fake witchcraft or conduct a séance for the sole purpose of financial gain, but here we wondered quite aloud what happened in the courtroom before the law was passed, and those accused had to defend themselves… Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We had some wonderful scene suggestions from fans this week: The alchemists are part of a cult, a cult that ends in a mass suicide pact. Once the deed is done, they get stuck in limbo and have to try and work out what unfinished business they have to take care of. In the meantime Satan & God try to persuade each of them to choose heaven or hell as their final resting place...A librarian has to field people's questions or their excuses for late fees...A crack shot team of art thieves break into a large art gallery. SPECIAL GUEST: Mark Gagliardi. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Two or these three storylines were inspired by listener mail: An odd, yet familiar family of five driving on a cross-country, summer vacation pick up a hitchhiker, Scott, and he makes the trip a tad more memorable... Competitive cooking TV shows are taken to a weird and wonderful low point, thankfully, and then we go hilariously meta in the podcast world... Kevin loves that scene in every wild west movie that takes place in the town saloon. As our alchemists stretch this particular realm to its breaking point, things get goofy as hell, don’t ya know. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From Your Listener Mail: If the superhero names Captain Critique, Soup-er Man, Keeper of the Rules, Pits & Palms or Daylights Savings Man don’t ring a bell, you’re not alone… The time to get to know them is now, and you’re welcome. The office of the Registrar fills up quickly with over-worked yet under-informed teachers, coaches without borders or rules, and one funding family who’s faces haunt the halls. NASA decides to open up the opportunity to be an astronauts and work on the International Space Station... Folks from all walks of life line up, and, oh-boy, are they all not qualified. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In the first of three scenes, as a runaway train screams along the tracks, the crew do all they can to figure out how to save the passengers from harm’s way. Yeah, no, they don’t do all that well with the task at hand. Next up in scene two, we enter a courtroom, where a case is being argued to determine if, indeed, the famed author of “How to Murder Your Husband” has, in fact, murdered her husband. Surprisingly, all is not as it appears, and incompetence may just rule the day. Last up, we head to the new year’s eve party of a simple man, who’s family has turned up in record numbers. One needn’t wonder too long whether or not the reason for the historic party turnout coincides with the host having just won the country’s largest national lottery. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.