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This week Dave and Jeff find themselves trapped with Odysseus and his men in the cave of the dreaded chatterbox Cyclops. Here they're confronted not only with the question “How do we get out of here?”, but also “Is the Cyclops really that bad of a guy?”, “How do the Greeks define civilization?”, “What’s the true hierarchy in the Vomitorium?”, and even, “Can you base a whole society on cheese?” Brace yourself for non-stop, root-crackling, sheep-strapping, lamb-cramming, epic-simileing, cheese-filching action, and, as always, best to save your hubristic braggadocio for well after your ship has cleared the harbor.

This week we welcome our first in-studio guest (and it’s a big one)—Newberry Award winning young adult author (and Calvin University English Professor) Dr. Gary D. Schmidt. Tune in for a wide-ranging discussion about the influence of the Classics on Gary's life and writing, including his love for Odysseus, his loathing of Achilles, and a sneak peek at his next novel, based on the labours of Heracles. Along the way watch out for those liminal spaces, whether they are middle school or entrances to the Underworld, and wait…is that the Piano Man himself, Billy Joel? Listen to the end to hear Dave and Jeff riff their way through some viewer mail.

In this week's episode Zeus sends Hermes to demand that the fair-tressed Calypso release weeping Odysseus (still with us?) after seven years of island imprisonment. No amount of organic oat hair milk can cheer her, the added shine, volume, and bounce notwithstanding. We look at books 5-8, with Odysseus and Nausicaa having a go at jarts, while Demodocus (Homer himself in disguise?) plucks out the hottest hits of the Mycenaean Era. Odysseus weeps (again!) and drops some layered metanarratives, but not before the white goddess offers him a magic, life-saving pair of trousers in the middle of a shipwreck. And stay-tuned for a new, *stellar* sponsor.

This week Dave and Jeff clamber aboard a trireme and follow Telemachus as he leaves Ithaca (for the first time?) and heads to the Peloponnese in search of news of his missing father. After leaving Nestor (and escaping his grumpy old man, “back in my day” monologues) it’s on to Sparta to visit Menelaus and Helen. Here things are so tense that Helen has to mix some sort of magic sedative into the Mountain Dew. Stick around for Menelaus and Helen’s strikingly different versions of the Trojan Horse story, and possible answers to the questions “Could the Trojan War have been avoided if they had just had better coffee?” and “Who cares what Jeff wore on his first day of high school?”

In this first of countless (?) episodes on the Odyssey, Jeff and Dave wash ashore on the opening books, Castaway style. Here we find Odysseus’ wife and son, Penelope and Telemachus, besieged in their home on Ithaca by greedy, gluttonous, mindless suitors, and with no idea when Odysseus is ever coming home. As with the Iliad, we consider the first word of the poem — ἄνδρα (andra, man) — and investigate how this might be a guidestone for understanding the epic’s deeper themes. Other key questions: will Telemachus rise to the occasion? How do the meanings of names (glint-eyed Athena) give us insight into character? And what’s Lazy Steve doing in this neck of the woods? Don’t miss the concluding yogurt.

This week Dave and Jeff gambol off near sylvan fields to tackle the earliest example of Vergil’s poetry, the Eclogues. In Eclogue 1 we meet the shepherd Meliboeus lamenting to his friend Tityrus: "How'd I get evicted?" Meanwhile, Tityrus plays his oaten pipes and suggests Rome is over-rusticating. You’ll hear the amoeboean bees a-buzzing and the cattle a-lowing (with a digression on Psalm 23) as we investigate the deeper meanings of bucolic imagery, Greek precedents, and pressed cheeses. Look! Octavian Augustus, smack dab in the center of Vergil’s poetic programme. Speaking of programs, you’ll need one to tell your willows from your chestnuts from your tamarisks from your cypresses from your low-lying myrtles.

Late August, 480 BC. The tension in the pass finally gives way to violence and for the first two days of battle the Persians learn their wicker wear can't match Spartan discipline. Xerxes gets throne-hopping mad until a local traitor (Ephialtes - boo!) tells him of the mountain pass that will allow him to outflank the Greeks below. Leonidas has excruciating choices to make and resigns himself to death, but not before dropping a series of action hero one-liners that had Schwarzeneggar taking notes. So molon over, don’t linger in the labe, and rest easy—the bon mots in this one fly so thick you’ll be listening in the shade.

Is this Shhhparta? In this episode Jeff and Dave (with help from Peter Green) make their way toward the narrow pass at Thermopylae and lay the groundwork for one of the most crucial and mythic battles in the history of Western civilization. What led up to this heroic and tragic encounter? We watch as Darius the Great gets out-run at Marathon, Darius’ son Xerxes I seeks revenge with a horde of wicker-wearing Immortals, and the Greeks squabble over where to make a stand and how to pronounce “isthmus”. Join us by channeling your inner Leonidas and inexplicably brushing up on your Scottish accent.

Don’t forget to join us this week as we ask the question, “What’s the best way to develop a super memory?” 16th century memory mavens William Perkins and Alexander Dicson each thought he knew best, and the result was a full-on, throttle-your-Aristotle dustup. Leaning on more familiar thinkers Giordano Bruno and Peter Ramus, P and D hash out competing memory systems. Should it be image-based, or use dialectical trees? Do walnuts and a decent haircut help? Come along with us for a tour de force of – wait, what was that again? And be sure to check our social media for a free giveaway of the big fat Perkins Volume 6.

This week Dave and Jeff wrap up their journey through Euripides’ Alcestis and the second half has everything—weeping, wailing, sarcastic dads, guest stars on their way to wrangle flesh-eating horses. You know, typical theater fare. Yes, Admetus continues his mope-a-thon, but suddenly Heracles himself shows up and who hasn’t been in that cliched situation where you’re trying juggle a funeral and a call-the-cops house party? Then hang on tight for the twist ending. What does it all mean? Is it time for cheering or more mourning? Strange, silent, veiled women showing up at the last minute have a way of unsettling a household.

This week Dave and Jeff wade into the deep waters of Greek Tragedy for the first time with a two-part look at Euripides’ Alcestis. Even devotees of tragedy may not be familiar with this one! But before we get there we poke around at a few questions: why did tragedy arise in Athens? Why did actors wear masks, and what's a deus ex machina? Then it’s on to Euripides himself—a poet well ahead of his time and the man the Athenians loved to hate—and his macabre marital masterpiece Alcestis. Apollo and Thanatos (NOT the purple guy) trade rap-battle insults while hubby Admetus behaves so insufferably maybe you’d die to get away from him too!

Filling every nook and cranny, Jeff and Dave this week focus on their fears, and the 8th century B.C. pottery masterpiece known as the Dipylon Vase. What drives an artist and a culture to create a work like this in which every inch of the surface is covered? Is there something to this “fear of the empty space”? What about the funeral scene that dominates the titular objet d'art, and when is that crunchy, creamy Jif sponsorship coming through? So come on in for a whirlwind tour of early Greek art, play a quick game of Where’s Waldopolous?, and even learn about Edward Hopper’s influence on Alfred Hitchcock. And don’t forget to water the ferns…unless you’re a pteridophobe, that is.

This week Dave and Jeff take a sober look at the political assassination of Marcus Tullius Cicero, December 7, 43 B.C. As Octavian and Mark Antony reach détente, heads must roll. And first on the platter is that of poor Tully. Come along as we take the train out of Rome from Termini station on a gray January day and head down to Formiae. We recount the last hours of the famous orator with the help of Plutarch and Dio Cassius. Though he died without a fight, Cicero spent his last months excoriating the wild debauchery of Mark Antony in his famous Philippics. Finally, join your hosts on a walk up the path to the great man's so-called tomb. What is this place? Is Cicero actually buried here? Does it commemorate the spot of his death instead? Or was it, maybe, just an ancient Subway restaurant? Listen fresh.

This week Jeff and Dave tag along with Cicero to sunny Tuscany where they find Cato Uticensis knee-deep in a pile of books on Stoicism. Gorging on books (helluari libris) and literary addiction (aviditas legendi) is our theme as we share favorite authors and works from the ancient and modern worlds. First up is a primo piatto of Plato, followed by savory servings of Sophocles, and Apuleian “afters.” If you still have room for more, stroll out with Jeff and Kazantzakis for a nightcap on Crete, and join Dave as he doles out cigars and Scotch to C.S. Lewis and Thomas Sowell. Which books have you feasted on recently?

This week Dave and Jeff access a Pylon and head back to the beginning—Hesiod’s Theogony (c. 700 BC), the closest thing we get to a canonical creation myth for the ancient Greeks. In between aggressive sickle-wielding, “foam births”, and largely pointless references to ‘90s movies, we find out where both the gods and the physical universe come from and why, in the end, Zeus does it best. If that’s not enough, tune in to witness Dave actually letting Jeff recite some Greek for once, two Aphrodites for the price of one, and big daddy Kronos angling for a guest-spot.

Jeff and Dave get into the dirt with the archaic Greek poet Hesiod (c. 700 B.C.) and his seminal poem Works and Days. Is this near contemporary a match for Homer or does he deserve his (well-cultivated) second banana status? What should we think about the justice of Zeus, two kinds of competition (was Hesiod a capitalist?), fire-stealing, the myth of Pandora, and whether might makes right? Don't miss the five ages of mankind, from Golden right down through the Iron(ic), Age of Ultron in which we live. And one more thing--if you're not buying your fennel by the stalk, are you doing it right?

Jeff and Dave lead you on a tour down into the Scavi below St. Peter's Basilica in Vatican City, Rome. We take a look at some of the historical and archaeological evidence for the martyrdom and burial of the Apostle Peter. Did Peter die in Rome? Was he buried there? What is the long history of this site, from the reign of Nero, Constantine the Great, and Pope Julius II, right down to the mysteries and intrigue of Pope Pius XII and the brilliant Italian archaeologist Margherita Guarducci? What is so important about the 'graffiti wall'? Also, tune in for the special coupon code from our fabulous new sponsor, Hackett Publishing.

Dave and Jeff serve up some Northern Renaissance art with a close look at Flemish painter Pieter Brueghel the Elder’s mysterious and haunting take on the Daedalus and Icarus myth. Is it a response to Ovid’s version of the tale or something else altogether? Jean Claude VanDamme stops by with a waffle sampler, and don’t miss: fat man on the menu. We also get at the lingering question, “Will Dave ever reveal his high school nickname?” Tune in and make sure to click on “Show Notes” for useful visuals.

This week Jeff and Dave take a close look at the Roman poet Ovid's (43 B.C. - 18 A.D.) first public work, Amores I.1. We cover such important literary notions as recusatio, ἀδύνατον, and what it must be like to live in Des Moines, IA. Come for the literature, stay for the measured mayhem. Apollo at war, Mars playing rhythm guitar, Venus with sword and helmet, and Athena fanning love's flames. It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world.

This week Dave and Jeff watch—sometimes through their fingers—Wolfgang Petersen’s sweaty, beardy epic, Troy (2004). Come along as we revisit the film after several years of peaceful forgetfulness. Was it as bad as we thought? More fit for a shampoo commercial than a tour-de-force of bravado aristeia? Some highlights: a) musing over whether the film embodies a “Homeric Spirit” b) the “Tiresias” award for most obnoxious performance (Orlando, we’re looking at you), and c) the real question, better with the gods or without? Don’t be a heel—tune in.

In this episode Dave and Jeff make their way through the life and (mis)adventures of Heinrich Schliemann, the German polyglot, tycoon, and romantic who was instrumental in the discovery of the sites of ancient Troy and Mycenae. Who was this man? Was he a legitimate archaeologist? A mad genius? A grave robber? Charlatan? All of the above? Come along as we dig up Priam's Treasure, death masks that resemble puffer fish, as well as tackle weighty questions such as "Did the Mycenaeans tweak their handle-bar moustaches with some sort of ancient Brylcreem?". And fellas: don't miss some hot tips for finding that special lady who exudes an "Homeric Spirit".

Is the Homeric world make-believe, or is there a juicy, historical core at the center of these exciting adventure stories? We discuss some of the archaeological, geographical, and linguistic evidence for the truth behind the legend. Boar's-tusk helmets, Nestor's cup, elaborate burials, a catalog of ships, Hansel and Gretel, casserole - this episode has it all.

Dave and Jeff finish off their tour through some of the narrative and aesthetic aspects of Homer's first epic, the Iliad. Death on all sides, as Patroclus and Hector bite the dust, plus greaves, shields, and the Superman paradox. Come for the appetizers, stay through dessert.

Honor Lost, Honor Defended, Achilles Spends Book 9 Glamping in his Tent.

Achilles, Agamemnon, Briseis, Chryseis, Diomedes, a face that launched a thousand ships...Join us for Part 1 of our journey through the Iliad. It's going to be epic!

In this inaugural episode we introduce our listeners to Ad Navseam and discuss what it means to think about the Classics as a way of life.