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"There are the life events that have been apportioned to you. Live in harmony with them. There are the people whose destiny is to live at the same time as you. Love them. (Make sure you really feel it.)" (Meditations 6.39) This week Jeff and Dave sit down with Aaron Poochigian – experienced translator, poet, and all-around Classics enthusiast – to discuss his new translation from W.W. Norton of the Meditations (ad se ipsum) of the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius (r. 161-180). Stoicism is on the menu, as well as great nuggets of advice like "don't let yourself be Caesarified. It can happen". And, "be careful not to wear royal attire at home". What can Marcus, who never intended his private ruminations to be published, teach us about suffering, wisdom, fear of death, and more? Tune in to hear from this fascinating author, transmitted through an equally fascinating interpreter.

Ok, AdNaserinos, you have slogged your way through 214 episodes of this humble podcast, patiently enduring many digressions, running gags, and inside jokes. You have also heard the hosts gush over the wit and brilliance of Publius Ovidius Naso, and the many vignettes mined from his Metamorphoses. For this Gurgle, Dave and Jeff take a quick bite of an important article from the journal Phoenix, Winter 1959, by G.B. Riddehough. Citing Ovid's "wonderful power of differentiation", Riddehough seeks to connect the dots between the endless changes into birds, bears (no beets), fish, and other bestial creepy crawlies that fill the pages of this most unconventional epic. What themes emerge? When a human being takes on fins, scales, feathers, or fangs, does he retain his core identity, a man trapped in an animal's body? Or is there something else that's happening? What does it mean to be quintessentially human, to possess humanities? And what happens when that is ripped away? For keen interpretive insight on Ovid, this is one you don't want to miss.

This week Jeff and Dave zero in on the neoteric poetry of the Roman Republic's waning days. Relying on the efforts of the late great Peter Green (of "brackish tang" fame) and his 2005 translation and commentary on the Catullan canon, the guys look at poems 1 (to Cornelius Nepos), 13 (to Fabullus), and 14 (to Calvus). What is it that drives a poet of apparently trivial interests? Is it love? Revenge? Boredom? And are these interests really so trivial, or do they hide deeper and more significant themes? Along the way you can learn about the labor limae (endless work of revision), cow-eyed Clodia (Catullus' Lesbia), that Dave can't count, and how to make the feet in your line of poetry go all the way to 11 (hendecasyllabics). Finally, once you olfactory learners get a whiff of this particular episode, you'll beg the gods to make you one giant nose!

When you're feeling blue, all you have to do, is take a listen here, then you're not so blue. Why? We've got a Marrouvy kind of show. This week Jeff and Dave wrap up Part II of this portion of the book (and you might be say, "well it's about tome!") Tune in to learn all about how music iand gymnastics began to fade, and language study and literature became dominant. The Hellenistic era formed a bridge to Roman education, and while we might have a certain fondness for the wonder years of childhood – thank you Fred Savage, Danica McKellar, and Jason Hervey – the Greeks saw things quite differently. Childhood was simply a precursor for adulthood, and the whole purpose of education was to lead the youngster out of his unformed stage into the full-blown, mature adult toward which nature aimed. This took place not so much through school, but by the careful mentorship of a paedagogus, that man who led the child to and from school and taught him all the ropes. In this way, Isocrates triumphed over Plato, rhetoric over philosophy, and poetry was never completely banished from the culture. Homer reigned supreme an dclassical humanism was thoroughly traditional. Be sure also to sign up for the giveaway of the two-volume Aristotle set from Hackett! You'll need the secret code-word (it's Kontos).

This week Dave and Jeff are joined in the vomitorium by Dave's former colleague and long-lost friend Dr. Bob Stacey. Bob is headmaster and instructor in government at the St. Augustine school in Jackson, TN. The menu today includes a discussion of Alexis de Tocqueville's famous work Democracy in America, specifically a portion of Vol. II.1.15. Should everyone be allowed to study Greek and Latin? Can the pursuit of literature, art and music thrive in the hurly-burly of a representative democracy? Is it the case that in "democratic centuries", as Tocqueville says, "the education of the greatest number [of citizens] be scientific, commercial, and industrial rather than literary"? These and other questions occupy the hosts and guest for a happy 60 minutes or so, along with occasional digressions on presidential politics, the delights of gift shops, and more. Don't miss it! Also, tune in to sign up for your chance to win the new Hackett Complete Works of Aristotle, in 2 volumes.

Did you know that when Martin Luther (1483-1546) wasn’t nailing things to doors and fomenting major splits in Christendom he was writing poetry? In Latin? Well, thanks to Carl P. E. Springer we now have all of it in one fascinating volume. Join the guys and see how Luther runs the gamut—lines which express his deep faith, his longing and loss, his reworking of the Psalms, invective against Erasmus and Pope Clement VII, not to mention those verses that express his, um, earthier side. So tune in and revel in this hidden side of one of the most pivotal figures in world history and see if Jeff can stop giggling. Also, don't forget to sign up for your chance to win the new Hackett Complete Works of Aristotle, in 2 volumes. You'll need the secret code word (it's Kontos).

This week Jeff and Dave conclude their brisk and breezy, dramatic reading through that old comedy standard, the Clouds. Featuring a rich smorgasbord of hilarity, inanity, and some nearly "postmodern" trends and politics, the episode starts out with an homage, a listener's letter, and some outrageous paronomasia: just what Aristophanes ordered! The hi- and lo- jinks then move on to some rather serious business, a debate between Superior Argument and Inferior Argument. Here we see that despite exuberant flatulence, and more than a little bit of invective and vituperation, the old playwright is dealing with deadly serious issues: does might make right? Is rhetoric all there is to law, or is there some abiding and underlying moral structure to the world and human society that populates it? Is it okay for children to beat their parents? What to do with a doddering fool like Strepsiades (Mr. Twisty-turny)? And, can the young like Pheidippides (Horsey Coupon-cutter) be trusted with education and a dangerous tool like logic? Also, tune in to sign up for your chance to win the new Hackett Complete Works of Aristotle, in 2 volumes.

In an AN first, Dave and Jeff take the show on the road to the Michigan state capital. Hosted by the world-class nerds of the Michigan Junior Classical League, the guys slush their way into Lansing to talk Ovid once more—specifically the crushing demise of "gym bro" Acis, who stood zero chance against that hulking, one-eyed colossus, the Cyclops. Here is your opportunity to master the geometry of emotion: do Polyphemus, Acis, and Galatea form a love Dorito, a rectangle of spite, or a dodecahedron of nostalgia? Join us for a unique, live format, featuring crowd participation with sharp questions and comments from bright Classical minds across Michigan. Plus, listen in for a chance to win the collected works of Aristotle from Hackett, edited by C.D.C. Reeve and Pavlos Kontos!

This week the guys take another stab at Aristophanes, this time with his Clouds. Will they rain in their criticisms? Will their jokes float lazily over your head? Haven’t the foggiest, but tune in anyway. The episode begins with a discussion of Aristophanic comedy and its genre-bending mix of the lofty and the scatological. Following translator Meineck, exactly how many different ingredients did Aristophanes put in this soup? Is there anything like it today? Or, maybe it's too “localized” to properly translate? Well, step on the gas, and see what the guys find. Maybe you, too, can study with Socrates and learn how to dodge those Christmas credit card bills that recently came calling by making Inferior Argument - whoever that is - stronger. But first, try on these Persian paraffin wax booties and let’s see how far you can jump.

Join the conversation this week as Jeff and Dave go back into the world of Henri-Irénée Marrou’s History of Education in Antiquity, Part II, Chapter XI. First up is philosophical conversion: when you read Plato or Aristotle for the first time, does a lightbulb go off in your mind? What's the wattage, and is it epiphanic? Should everyone study philosophy? The hosts carefully break down the three levels of philosophical instruction: confraternities with chosen heirs that dominated official city life, freelancing, roving lecturers, and the "tub-thumpers" who heckled and harangued innocent passersby. The rivalry could be fierce between the different philosophical sects, not to mention the ongoing feud they maintained with those practical intellectuals, the rhetors. Ancient schooling in philosophy was not so different than the modern variety, with immature pranks, grungy flannels (the tribon), and more. It's a deep dive, but someone's gotta do it. So grab some brew from your Ratio Four, pull up a chair, and join the classical gourmands for a feast of intellectual history. Also, tune in to learn how you can win a free set of the Hackett edition of the Collected Works of Aristotle, as the guys somehow finagled a second giveaway!

Porphyry, Isaac Casaubon, and Richard Rietzenstein walk into a bar. Well, that's not true, seeing that they were separated from each other by hundreds of years. But if they did, they would be talking about the Corpus Hermeticum, that mysterious forged document that dates to the Hellenistic era, and claimed to have been written by "Hermes Thrice-great" (the Triple-decker). Thanks to the brilliant work of Guggenheim fellow and all-around savant Anthony Grafton, Jeff and Dave have the opportunity this week to tease out the differences between forgers and literary critics. Digging through chapter 3 of Grafton's 1990 work, the guys show how Porphyry (third century A.D.), Casaubon (16th century), and Reitzenstein (20th century) each tackle this forgery from a different angle, united in their quest for the truth and using some of the same tools. But as it turns out, are truth and falsehood more closely linked than at first they may appear? And do we have something to learn from the forgers and their methods? Tune in to find out.

Incipe, parve puer - "Get started, little boy..." These are the words Roman poet Vergil used in his famous Fourth Eclogue of 40 B.C., bidding the powerful child yet born, son of a divine father, and of a 'virgo', to usher in a new Golden Age after a time of warfare. But who precisely is this puer, who will make war to cease, cause the poisonous serpents to go docile, release draught animals from toilsome servitude, make the hillsides blossom verdant, rollback weeds and thorns, and generally seem to fulfill the vision of Isaiah 11? Come along as we investigate this fascinating question with the help of Constantine the Great, Ella Bourne, H.J. Rose, John Dryden, and more. Yes, there's some nonsense along the way, but this Ad Navseam seasonal epsiode will give you some profundities to ponder. And, stick around for a Christmas-themed outro thanks to the generosity of guitar virtuouso Paul Gilbert! Finally, don't forget Aristotle: enter to win the brand-new collected works from Hackett Publishing, our generous sponsor. You can find it at this link.

Back to Marrou, Part II Chapter X! This time it’s all about rhetoric (we’ll resist the temptation to go on and on). H. I. drops the bomb (boutade!) that in antiquity, rhetoric was the Queen of the Sciences, and Isocrates was a much more influential figure in terms of school training and life skills than Plato ever dared deam. Along the way, the guys break down the tension and attraction between rote preparation and improvisational skills, necessary hand gestures, and the pop phenomenon of funerary orations. Want to know how to send off your beloved in the proper, encomiastic fashion? Well, here’s the Rand McNally deluxe version to guide you toward your destination. And by the way, it’s never too early to think about what other names you’d have liked to have been known by. "Give me back a body and I will declaim again!" And don't forget Aristotle: enter to win the brand-new collected works from Hackett Publishing, our generous sponsor. You can find it at this link.

This week Dave and Jeff wrap up their discussion of John Wenham's fascinating, scholarly tour de force on the synoptic Gospels. Dealing with chapters 8 to 12, the conversation focuses on further considerations for Mark's Gospel, Ancient Testimony to Luke's Gospel, and these three, essential and concluding points: 1. How were the Gospels written? 2. Jesus-Tradition Oral and Written 3. When Were the Gospels Written? The answers might surprise you, based on patristic evidence, internal evidence, Qumran scroll evidence from 1972 – shedding light on Mark 6:52ff. – and the remarkable attestation in II Corinthians 8.8, that Luke is the brother who is "praised by all the churches for his service to the gospel." Wenham makes a persuasive argument that this refers to the composition of the third synoptic, and thus we have these dates according to the traditional form: Matthew was written before 40 A.D., in Hebrew; Mark was written no later than 45 A.D. in Rome; and Luke was written as early as 55 A.D. You won't want to miss these exciting conclusions. Also, be sure to check out our giveaway of the brand-new collected works of Aristotle by Hackett publishing, our sponsor. You can find it at this link.

This week Jeff and Dave continue their discussion of John Wenham's arguments against the hypothesis of Markan priority and the Q document as explaining the many similarities in the synoptic Gospels. Here they pick up with "external evidence" in chapter 5, after a concluding look at the internal evidence. Wenham argues in chapters 5 and following for the priority of Matthew, reestablishing the reliability of Papias and other church fathers like Irenaeus and Origen, in the overwhelming testimony that Matthew was first, and wrote Ἑβραΐδι διαλέκτῳ. Does this mean in a Semitic language like Hebrew or Aramaean – the traditional interpretation – or is the understanding commonly attributed to Eusebius correct, that Matthew wrote "in a Semitic style", but not necessarily in the Hebrew language? The arguments are complicated, and require very careful attention to sort the wheat from the chaff. Was Peter the inspiration for Mark's gospel? Was Peter in Rome, and if, so when? Come along for a careful look at a perennially interesting and pressing question, namely the relationship between the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke. Also, be sure to check out the giveaway of the brand-new collected works of Aristotle by Hackett publishing, our sponsor. You can find it at this link.

Listen up, polyglots and hyperpolyglots: this one is for you. And for the rest of us, ever wonder what it's like to speak multiple languages, or even more than 10? Jeff and Dave come gurgling back in with a quick take on this fascinating article by Natalia Mesa over at science.org (link). Meet Vaughn Smith who, when not cleaning carpets in Washington D.C. or preparing to turn 50, tries out one of the 24 (that's right) languages he speaks fluently. And when members of this 1% of the world's population, the super-accomplished in multiple languages, undergo an fMRI or two, it turns out there are some surprising effects as the Bible or Alice in Wonderland is read in their mother tongue. So put down Duolingo (Vigintilingo?) and tune in for a quick look at this most unusual topic. It's bite-sized fun!