Absolutely Not

On this episode, Heather recaps the special taping in her hometown in Atlanta at the iconic Fox Theatre. However, there's no sleep over in these parts! While answering the voicemails, she talks about her time up in Athens for College Gameday and the insecurity of some men on instagram after seeing nipples on TV. Episode Sponsor:If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYRight now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyGrab your Liquid I.V. Hydration Multiplier Sugar-Free in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LiquidIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Find your bright spot this season, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/absolutely to get 10% off your first month.As a special offer for listeners, new customer get $5 OFF a Lame Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeodorant.com and for a limited time return customers get $5 off their next purchase of $30 or more too!Visit sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your order.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from an emotional rollercoaster of a weekend, and joined by everyone’s favorite diva, Robin McMahan. Heather helps her prep for a date with a silver fox in LA (which unfortunately doesn’t go down), but Robin is still here dishing all of the sage advice - both on and off the hotline. Episode Sponsors:Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY.Go to tryarmra.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or enter ABSOLUTELYNOT to get 15% ff your first purchase.My listeners get 15% off your first order when you use my code ABSOLUTELY at jennikayne.comGo to Zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout.New to Etsy? Use the code HOLIDAY10 for ten percent off your first purchase at Etsy.comVisit sharkclean.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your order.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather reminisces about Halloween's past, early 2000's hits from 50 cent and B*Witched and other Hot Takes from yall on instagram. Then she hits the hotline to hear more of your voicemails on amazon wish lists, dog poop and gets reminded that she never sent her wedding thank you cards. Episode Sponsors:Discover new ways to shop everything, every day, at Saks.comGo to DiviOfficial.com/ABSOLUTELTY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order.Find your forever pieces @jennikayne and get 15% off with promo code ABSOLUTELY at jennikayne.com/ABSOLUTELY! #jennikaynepartnerExclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount. Visit www.fablepets.com/Absolutely for more information.Go to Zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Head to factormeals.com/absolutely50 and use code absolutely50 to get 50% off.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather gives thanks to all of you hussies who watched the special, gets brought back down to reality by Robin after being on the road for weeks and gets some unsolicited advice her DM's. Rounding out the spiral, she gets into the voicemails where one fans admits that she is also trying to do better. Episode Sponsors:Go to zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyGo to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Discover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.comExclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount at fablepets.com/absolutelyGrab your Liquid I.V. Hydration Multiplier Sugar-Free in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LiquidIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is in LA and sits down with Tina Tompkins- friends and employee number 2 at Absolutely Not Productions. Heather finds out a wedding secret Christina has been keeping from her, they gossip about their trip back to Ole Miss and respond to the newest set of wild voicemails. Episode Sponsors:Head to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYBelieve the the hype - SKIMS has over 100,000 five star reviews for a reason. The Fits Everybody collection and more perfect fit essentials are available now at SKIMS.comDiscover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.comExclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount. Visit fablepets.com/absolutely for more information.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from Italy, and spilling the tea on what it’s like to be on vacation alone with Jeff, where she’s retiring, and the truth behind going to sporting events in Italy, She’s full of wine, and still full of shit!Episode Sponsors:Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order.If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYNext time you’re thinking of celebrating a special moment in your life, remember that your natural diamond also protects vulnerable wildlife species and brings prosperity to many less fortunate communities around the world. Learn more at naturaldiamonds.comThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self.As a special offer for listeners, new customer get $5 OFF a Lame Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeodorant.comDiscover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.comProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Your favorite Wall Street girlie, Vivian Tu, is on the podcast to teach you everything about how to make money, how to keep it, and how to make more. New money b*tches - this one’s for you.Episode Sponsors:Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyCatch new episodes of The Kardashians on Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu.Treat yourself to the best shape wear on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com/absolutelyDiscover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.comShop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is reporting live from Canal Street after yet another wild leg of the tour. There must have been something in the water because the weekend had everything including a 12-year-old popping up at a show, strip teases, and an episode of cops (but in real life), and that's only the beginning. Judging by the Absolutely Not-Line it looks like everyone else's weekend was just as unhinged.Episode Sponsors:Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order.For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering is offering my listeners $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOTControl Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off of your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code [ABSOLUTELY] at lumepodcast.comDiscover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.comTreat yourself to the best shapewear on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELYProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is finally able to make a HUGE announcement: she’s coming to Netflix baby! That’s right, her new comedy special, The Son I Never Had, is coming to a couch near you on October 17th. In the midst of the celebration she’s still taking time to hit the Absolutely Not Line to show some much-needed love to the theaters teachers, draw the hard line between making new friends and borderline stalking, and whether or not you should shoot your shot at a new sky boo.Episode Sponsors:Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order.Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domaine using code ABSOLUTELYVisit in-store or online at Brooklinen.com and use code absolutelysnot for $20 off your online order of $100 or more.Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkag1.com/absolutelyThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhep.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way of being your best self.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutelyProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is back with friend of the pod, Jared Freid. They talk about his hilarious new Netflix special, 37 and Single, and Jared gives some sage dating advice on the proper way to hook your friends up, the best time of day to go out and find the right guy and more to get you prepped for the season.Episode Sponsors:Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutelyRight now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyTry AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYThe Fits Everybody collection and more perfect-fit essentials are available now at SKIMS.com. Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather's jumps into the Instagram DMs to answer your burning questions, and talk through a dab of trauma. She also hits the hotline to prove once again that she may not always have the answers, but she'll always figure it out.Episode Sponsors:Head to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners ten dollars off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.Visit DelolaLife.com to find a store near you that carries Della and follow @Deolola on instagram to learn more.Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use code ABSOLUTELY to receive $5 off or $0 delivery fee off your next order.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely, plus, you get FREE shipping.Treat yourself to the best shapewear on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com/absolutelyProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is home from her Tour-de-America. Her feet may be swollen, but she's got a real pep in her step after being dressed down by a large woman selling Wiener's in Chicago. She hits the hotline to answer questions like "what to do if you find out your mother-in-law has an alter ego in the bedroom?" and how to fall out of love with your Catholic priest.Episode Sponsors:If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYRight now, Ibotta is offering our listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code absolutely when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app and use code absolutely.Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use code ABSOLUTELY to receive $5 off or $0 delivery fee off your next order.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutelyRight now, modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyRight now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutelyProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off of surviving the usual Vegas madness during her stop at Wynn, and back in the LA studio to do the work right after surviving Hurricane Hilary. She may or may not be spiraling, but that doesn't stop her from hitting the Absolutely-Not-Line to discuss how let your setbacks be the setup for a comeback, why it just might be time to get a job at SpaceX, and the art of restaurant gaslighting.Episode Sponsors:Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutelyThe perfect time to upgrade your sleep routine is now! Shop 15% off in-store at Brooklinen.comRight now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyHead to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Order now for stress-free back-to-school shopping! Use promo code absolutely to get 50% off (up to $10 value) when you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery or retail stores on DoorDash.Upgrade your closet this summer with Quince. Right now, to go Quince.com/absolutely to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather shares a personal idea she's been tinkering with for a minute, that will set your ovaries on fire. She hits the Absolutely-Not-Line to discuss How to treat your elders, the ultimate fighting technique and why dudes everywhere are communicating via android and walking around naked in their homes. But in the meantime... "Imma go Eat!"Episode Sponsors:Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely. Plus, you get FREE shipping!If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYDownload the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use code ABSOLUTELY to receive $5 off or $0 delivery fee* off your next order.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at BetterHelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self.As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a Lume Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeodorant.comTreat yourself to the best shape wear on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/ABSOSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her dear friend, Brian Kelly AKA The Points Guy, to talk everything from the surrogate journey and being a dad, to the truth about being a boss, and how to finesse those sky miles and credit card points.Episode Sponsors:Take the first step to visibly thicker, healthier hair. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners ten dollars off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you to Nutrafol.com and use the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.Right now, Ibotta is offering our my listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code absolutely when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app and use code absolutely.Order now for stress-free back-to-school shopping! Use promo code absolutely to get 50% off up to $10 value, when you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery or retail stores on DoorDashHead to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELYThe Fits Everybody collection and more perfect-fit essentials are available now at SKIMS.com. Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75. After you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select my show in the dropdown menu that follows.Visit DelolaLife.com to find a store near you that carries Della and follow @Delola on instagram to learn more! Please enjoy responsibly.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

   On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather discusses how the Aliens have arrived, why summer reading was absolute bullshit, why women tennis players need more money and really rounds it out answering your Voicemails about life. We have a caller let us know her husband asks for sex at the most inopportune times, but don't worry, we will beat him at his own game, literally! Episode Sponsors:Right now, Ibotta is offering my listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code absolutely when you register.Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyRight now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase when you go to BeisTravel.com/absolutelyVisit DelolaLife.com to find a store near you that carries Della and follow @Delola on instagram to learn more.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    On this episode the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is back from her whirlwind week abroad after stalking down Harry Styles in italy. She sweat it out in the bathrooms at the Firenze Outlets, ate her weight in salami and handed out band aids to the youth at the music festival. SHE'S BACK BABY!!!! Episode Sponsors:If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/absolutelySwitch to the better razor and show your skin you care with Athena Club! Get started today by shopping in-store at Target stores nationwide - just head to the shaving aisle to find the Razor Kit, Cloud Shave Foam, Wax Strips, and Razor Refills.Order now for stress-free back-to-school shopping! Use promo code absolutely to get 50% off up to $10 value, when you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery or retail stores on DoorDash.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at BetterHelp.com/absolutely and get on your way to being your best self.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

 On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather catches up with the queen of ADHD herself, Robin McMahan, her mother. They discuss goals, linen, and how to get back at your ex. Robin bitches and complains that Heather is being a brat, and Heather tries to explain to Robin she needs to drink more water! Never a dull moment with the boomers! Episode Sponsors:Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10%off your first purchase of a website or domain.Take the first step to visibly thicker, healthier hair. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners ten dollars off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and ender promo code ABSOLUTELYNOTRight now, Ibotta is offering my listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code absolutely when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app and use code absolutely.This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is back from a trip in frigid cold California with a sweaty undercarriage and anxiety to boot! Mercury must be in retrograde because technology is failing us and the voicemails on the Absolutely Not line were insane! One woman is getting scammed on a wedding registry while another is getting pranked by members of One Direction!Episode Sponsors:If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYControl Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeoderant and get $5 off your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code ABSOLUTELY at lumedeoderant.com/a/ABSOLUTELY! #lumepodRight now, BÉIS (base) is offering our listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutelyProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast,  Heather interviews rising country music star, Logan Crosby. They discuss what it takes to write a country song, how to become a star and Logan confesses his affection for older women. Thats right lady- He's a cutie with a soulful voice looking for a lady who know's how to make a pie and do her own taxes. PURRRRRRRR. Logan is such a delight and has Heatherrolling with laughter as they attempt to write to Bangers, that are sure to hit the top 10 charts! Episode Sponsor:Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to www.squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.”Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

     On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is speedballing on a steroid pack post being humbled in the Hampton's and getting Rejected-then accepted at the most exclusive club on a pond in Montauk. She hangout with cool German porn stars and a chick with a lazy eye! So much fun in the cool kids club!! Heather also hits the "Absolutely NOT line" and answers questions about what to do if you know your gynecologists from High School, should you be upset if your ex rebound with an old broad and how to get your DONG pounced on! That and so much more!Episode Sponsors:If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYSwitch to the better razor and show your skin you care with Athena Club. Get started with Athena Club today by shopping in-store at Target nationwide.Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

   On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off the high and the hangover of her Radio City Performance- there was an epic afterparty and the next day was even wilder. Heather headed to the Hamptons post-show for some R+R but quickly realized its a scam out EAST! She brings on her travel buddy, co-founder of her favorite brand, Show Me Your Mumu, Cammy Miller. They discuss ZILLENIALS, QUIET LUXURY and why you couldn't pay either of them 250k to go check out the Titanic. Episode Sponsors:New to Etsy? Use the code NEW for ten percent off your first purchase. Maximum discount value of fifty dollars. Offer ends June 30th, 2023. See terms at Etsy dot com slash terms. For home, style, and gifts shop Etsy.com. Etsy has it!Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather shares the excitement, joy and fear she has rolling into one of the biggest nights of her life- Playing Radio City Music Hall. She takes a stroll down memory lane, and recalls the last time she attended a show there, Jeff had Diarrhea the whole time! FUN FOR EVERYONE!!! She also hits the Absolutely Not line- and answers loads of questions like "is too much CBD technically drugs?. How do I work a google cal? and Beyhive dick in Europe is it a yay or nay? Episode Sponsors: If you want to take ownership of your health, try AH1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT to save ten dollars off your first month’s subscription –this offer is only available to US customers for a limited time. Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY. Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her shows in Dallas with a hangover and general marital agitation. She is trying to save her Jute rugs from being destroyed by Mac, while also trying to train Jeff. She hits the hotline to answer questions such as "What if I called a man I slept with, Orzo?" And "how should I feel If a stripper had the same perfume as me?" That and more! Episode Sponsors: Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeoderant and get $5 off of your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeoderant.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather breaks down her weekend in the NATH EAST. She describes the absolute savage tour Robin took her on around Bahstan's Lil Italy, and how she would leave Jeff for a union theater guy in a heartbeat. She has been on the hot trail of Taylor Swift and wants no drama from the fans. She also hits the hotline for some outrageous Voicemails. Episode Sponsors: If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY. The world’s most famous matriarchy is back for the most intimate look yet inside the family empire. Don’t miss season 3 of The Kardashians, new episodes Thursdays, only on Hulu. Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get FREE shipping. New to Etsy? Use the code NEW for ten percent off your first purchase. Maximum discount value of fifty dollars. Offer ends June 30th, 2023. For home, style, and gifts shop Etsy.com. Etsy has it! Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with friend and hilarious comedian, Adam Ray. They discuss how they both got their start in Show biz in the 6th grade because they we're chubby children. Take a walk down memory lane- to remember the good ole' days of high School theater and frat/sorority life. Discuss how a good chicken salad sammie will make you want to sit on someone's face and how much they love to feel pure joy with their dogs. To celebrate May, Mental Health Awareness Month, and to celebrate every step you take towards a better, richer, fuller life, Talkspace is offering every listener of this podcast $100 off your first month with Talkspace. Just go to Talkspace.com/ABSOLUTELY If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavorthat you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion –whether you're on the go or unwinding at home. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY. Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather's back is out but her attitude has returned. She's learning hard lessons like "everyone's an asshole", "if you dont have a core, you're body will shut down" and "Dont get stabbed in Pittsburgh"- She hits the hotline to try to make sense of why dentists ask you questions with their hands in your mouth and more! Episode Sponsors: Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulknation wide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavor that you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY Plus, you get free shipping. As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a Lame Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeoderant.com Your Memorial Day Sale is coming soon! Shop 20% off in-store or online at Brooklinen.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this bonus episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather sits down with Jordana and Jared, hosts of the "U Up?" podcast, to talk about why couples pranks might be the worst side of TikTok, teach Jared maybe too much about feminine hygiene, and break down everything from relationships to why it just might be too late to save the turtles. Episode Sponsors: Shop jackets, jewelry, furniture, art, and more, made for all budgets and any occasion on Etsy. New to Etsy? Use the code NEW for 10% off your first purchase. If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavorthat you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion –whether you're on the go or unwinding at home. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather hits the hotline and answers your voicemails about the thrills of becoming a regular at a bar, how cheering on the elderly should be a regular thing, what to do if there is a kids gifts registry for a bday party and should you break up with someone if they take you to a swingers party? She’s helping one listener at a time and questioning her own existence as to why she doesn't have a live-in hibachi chef. Episode Sponsors: If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY To celebrate May, Mental Health Awareness Month, and to celebrate every step you take towards a better, richer, fuller life, Talkspace is offering every listener of this podcast $100 off your first month with Talkspace. Just go to Talkspace.com/ABSOLUTELY You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save ten dollars off your first month’s subscription – this offer is only available to US customers for a limited time. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely. That means your test will cost $159, which is a fraction of what it would cost at a fertility clinic. Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY. Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather breaks down the details of the insane predicament she found herself in, at the Memphis airport, ran into a couple Lasso kids in Texas and was slinging art in Mississippi for Robin like drug dealer from the 80's. That and more! Episode Sponsors: Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% on your first purchase of a website or domain. Go to Zocdoc.com/absolutely and download the Zocdoc app or FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours. Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorns brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavor that you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion. You can try Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com It's golf. It's not golf. It's Topgolf. Pro-tip, download the app & book ahead of time to Come Play Around on Half-Price Tuesday or any other day! Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY plus, you get FREE shipping! Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather and Jeff are taking a walk down memory lane in their old neighborhood. They have some advice for the Rat Czar of the city and take you behind the scenes of what a VIP experience at the Garden has in store for the local celebs. A Homeless man calls Heather a lesbian, and so so much more! Episode Sponsors: If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY It’s golf. It’s not golf. It’s Topgolf. Pro-tip, download the app & book ahead of time to Come Play Around on Half-Price Tuesday, or any other day! Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY. Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP is perfect for when I want a bold snack with a BOOM of flavor while unwinding at the end of the day. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with the ultimate SCAMMMMER, Ray, to discuss how they scammed their way into the masters, yet again. It is an in-depth observation into the golf world that rarely few people get to see. They are honest and raw about how much merch they bought, how swollen their feet were and how many azaleas they really drank! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Episode Sponsors: Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. For a limited time, get $20 off plus shipping on orders of $100+ with code absolutelynot at Brooklinen.com Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Crush your cravings with a variety of delicious ready-to-eat popcorn that's always gluten free, whole grain and non-GMO. You can try Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens if giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is fresh from her trip to Augusta with a new business idea that will take doggy day cares, water parks, and sushi restaurants to the next level. She hits the Absolutely Not Line to discuss sister fights, being hungover and how we need to rephrase the term "were trying". She's back on the road and saltier than ever! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Episode Sponsors: Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your fist purchase at athleticgreens.com/absolutely Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book atop-rated doctor today. For listeners of the show, Dips is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/absolutely You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support the show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save ten dollars off your first month's subscription - this offer is only available to US customers for a limited time. Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavor that you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion. You can try Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this bonus episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather is back in the DMs answering your hard-hitting questions from how to deal with fuckboys and HOA drama to what she'd want to be reincarnated as in the next life. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Episode Sponsor: Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavorthat you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion –whether you're on the go or unwinding at home. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from a weekend of shows in the Lonestar state and wants everyone to know she has figured out the answer to world peace- a simple San Antonio Fiesta. Slap a little Barbacoa on a shell and sit down with your neighbor- its that simple- actually she is on the verge of a full nervous breakdown and becomes so completely unhinged she needs to call into her own HOT LINE. She explains the new viral sensation, "Yummy Water", refreshes everyone on airplane etiquette and believes Gwenyth was innocent. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Episode Sponsors: Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.” As a listener of this podcast, you’ll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com/ABSOLUTELY You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com It’s golf. It’s not golf. It’s Topgolf. Download the app, book a bay and Come Play Around. Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is back from her weekend of shows at the Ryman where she set the fire alarm off in the middle of a tropical storm on Broadway! She hits the hotline and answers questions like “how does one get pink eye on a solo self care trip?” And “should we ban bachelorettes?” Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Sponsors: Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely. Prose is the key to achieving all your hair goals this year. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today at Prose.com/absolutely. For a limited time, Starface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners free shipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter the promo code Absolutely at checkout at Starface.world. Go to HelloFresh.com/absolutely60 and use code absolutely60 for 60% off plus free shipping. Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is keeping it 100% that some days you just need to get into the back corner of your closet, suck on a J Crew sweater and scream. She's fresh from the road and trying to find the balance of staying uber professional and honestly, just not giving AF! The Voicemails are insane but also a fresh reminder to have manners at a theater, you dont get free refills in New York- and if you were fighting for your life as a kid in basic reading classes- what were you even doing? Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trail, and when you're ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support the show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save fifteen dollars off your first month's subscription. For a limited time, Scarface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners free shipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter promo code Absolutely at checkout at Starface.world Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/ABSOLUTELY Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavor that you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion. You can try for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is fresh off her shows in New England and ready to buy a house next to the Bush family on the beach. She felt the cool crisp seabreeze across her tits and its reinvigorated her to take on turning 36 with gusto! She makes a list of all of the things she still wants to do before 40 and it turns out its just two things. She also hits the hotline and answers your questions like "do you want my grandma" and "why did a woman in florida try and break into my hotel". Its Heather's birthday episode and she is just getting the party started! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY Let Dipsea be your go-to place to spice up your me-time, explore your fantasies, relax and unwind, or heat things up with a partner. Get an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/absolutely It's golf. It's not golf. It's Topgolf. Download the app, book a bay and Come Play Around. Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavor that you can entry at any time, on any occasion. You can try for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from serving her country by performing comedy for drunk white women. Not only did she get to visit the white house, but bamboozled her way into the hearts of the national press and will never have to worry about unflattering TMZ photos ever again. She also hits the hotline and tries to make sense of why women can't open marinara jars and how do we stop our elderly mothers from getting swindled by ex-cons. That and more! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $100 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com/ABSOLUTELY Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Angie's Boomchickapop brings you a boom of bold, craveable flavor. Try for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this bonus episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather is back in the studio with friend of the pod, Raymond Padilla, to talk what they're giving up for lent, Ray getting high on THC drinks and channel their inner Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. Then they hit the Instagram DMs for some listener Q&A. Episode Sponsor: Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavorthat you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is fresh from the Philly show where she may or may not have gotten in trouble for being a little too honest with the sports takes a little too soon. She got cookies hand-delivered to the stage by one of her favorite chefs, and later it almost got sticky for everyone at the Ritz-Carlton Club. Heather also hits the Absolutely Not line to discuss Uber drivers doing too much, when to die with the lie, and doubling down on some get back for one of last week’s callers. Episode Sponsors: Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulk nationwide at Costco or you can get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/ABSOLUTELY. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today at Prose.com/absolutely. Go to HelloFresh.com/absolutely65 and use code absolutely65 for 65% off plus free shipping. Try Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather introduces her new little nugget Macaroni to the world with a real attitude. Heather is coming in hot because she already knows some woman named Willow is gonna bitch that she didn't rescue- but the defense will rest that she freaking TRIED! Heather also hits the Absolutely Not line to answer questions like- "what to do if you get a pube stuck in your throat?" to "why did my boyfriend break up with me after he found out I have an incurable disease?" Were solving the world's problems one voicemail at a time! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE:ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Starface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners free shipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter the promo code Absolutely at checkout at starface.world Don’t sleep on savings. Brooklinen’s President’s Day Sale is happening now. Listening after the sale? Get the deals of your dreams at Brooklinen.com with promo code absolutelynot You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support the show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save fifteen dollars off your first month’s subscription Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is back from a weekend sling jokes in the midwest! She saw a woman smoke a blunt while buying Zyrtec, ate some pasta in Ohio, and had a lovely gal sneak into her dressing room in indiana! I FOUND YOU!!! If the midwest doesn't keep you on your toes, well then hell, nothing will! She hits the Absolutely Not line to learn about the beef between Iowa and Indiana and has a moment of self reflection. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. For a limited time, Starface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners free shipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter the promo code Absolutely at Starface.world Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/absolutely Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely For listeners of the show, Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/absolutely Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is sitting down with business gal and bff, Christina Tompkins- also know as TINA! They are reporting live from the turks and caicos on a very important Business trip, or at least that's what the accountant told them to say it was. They cover everything from vacation enemies, Robin's cough, what to look for in a man and a primary care physician. They solve to world one problem at a time, why? Because it's the year of the Rabbit! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today As a listener of this podcast, you’ll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com/ABSOLUTELY Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is home from a wild weekend of shows in Augusta and Charleston. A woman tried to sit in Jeff's lap, she found a scammer at a hotel valet in Augusta and her to-do list is too long but she's keeping the attitude fresh.... until she fights with a crazy woman who is calls into the hotline to justify keeping her christmas tree up all year. ABSOLUTELY NOT. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. For a limited time, Starface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners free shipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter the promo code Absolutely at checkout at Starface.world For listeners of the show, Dips is offering an extended 30-day free trail when you go to DipseaStories.com/absolutely Grab your Liquid I.V.in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LiquidIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout Go to HelloFresh.com/absolutely21 and use code absolutely21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from Texas with cedar fever and some new boots. She is taking a quick breath before she is back on the road again this weekend to listen to your insane voicemails. One girl is starting a business and another is hooking up with a Bouncer who threw her out. It's a wild ride and we're leaving no stone unturned. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. For a limited time, Starface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners freeshipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter the promo code Absolutely at checkout at Starface.world Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/ABSOLUTELY You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support the show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save fifteen dollars off your first month’s subscription It’s the time to treat yourself this New Year. Go to printfresh.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or use code ABSOLUTELYNOT for 15% off your first order Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is reporting live, from Austin,Texas! She narrowly made it to her hotel after riding in a maroon escalade with a drug dealer named Charlie, but is staying positive and looking at the brighter side of life. She got into a soft encounter with a woman doused in Aussie mouse and a man making 10 million dollar deals on the tarmac. She also hits the Absolutely NOT line to discuss y'all's bullshit too. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. For a limited time, Brooklinen is offering 15% off comforters. Listening after the sale? Visit Brooklinen.com today and use code absolutelynot for $20 off plus free shipping. Visit www.californiaprunes.org for recipes, and be sure to look for California prunes at your favorite supermarket or specialty shop. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today at Prose.com/absolutely. Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is fresh off a z-pack from Mexico and the ride of her life through the sofi stadium to be an SEC ally for the dawgs. She is sniffling her way through a week of LA work but truly no days off because tinseltown wait for no one. She discusses her own pretty woman moment at the Beverly Hills Hotel but how she reassured the staff that even though everyone at the Polo lounge has a soft southern accent- they werent gonna walk out on their tabs. Stay Humble but Stay Smoking! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY Save 10% when you shop The BFF Bundle — a pack of classic AND salicylic acid stars designed to love your pimples all the way through the healing process at Starface.world Go to Zocdoc.com/ABSOLUTELY and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Printfresh is a woman-owned, size-inclusive sleepwear and lifestyle brand with sizes ranging from XS to 6X. Head to Printfresh.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather is ringing in the new years with fresh boundaries with her negative CVS. She will no longer allow their filthy carpet and refusal to take her insurance dampen her mood!! She has realized that sometimes you need to just sit in the shallow end of the pool, and think about shit on the steps, before you dive into the deep end of life! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulk nationwide at Costco or you can get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com, and use the code ABSOLUTELY​ to ​get $100 off of your first month​ and show your support for the show. It’s the time to treat yourself this New Year. Go to printfresh.com/ABSOLUTELYNOT or use code ABSOLUTELYNOT for 15% off your first order. Visit www.californiaprunes.org for recipes, and be sure to look for California prunes at your favorite supermarket or specialty shop. Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is sitting down with her Italian stallion to recap 2022 highs and lows and doomsday prep for the 2023 shit show season. Jeff and Heather both share their "rose and thorn" of the year and never really address how over-budget the wedding really was- It is too touchy of a subject that I guess they will push on to their therapists 10 years down the road. They both realize they need to learn a tangible skill like flying or boating, and Jeff promises to build Heather a tunnel behind the pool. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Start a new healthy habit today. Visit Seed.com/ABSOLUTELY and use code ABSOLUTELY to redeem 20% off your first month of Seed'sDS-01™Daily Synbiotic. Visit www.californiaprunes.org for recipes, and be sure to look for California prunes at your favorite supermarket or specialty shop. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.