Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Oh Jeans, Jeans, Jeans - that's not an echo - don't worry, we fixed that! SORRY Sorry sorry. We have a new system in place for bodily noises and acknowledging them - one thumb up top and two for down below. Please join and use our system in your lives. A few weeks back Christina broke down barriers with what has been given the name, The Cincinnati Fart. Please help immortilize her accomplishment by petitioning the Queen City to memorialize this feat. Info on how in the episode. We know a lot of people Style Suck us, but what a certain morning radio recently did just let us know that the Mom's are the talk of the town, Na mean? Lots of good audio in this one. (YEAH!) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you really think American politics are a joke well then maybe you should consider the platform that Deez Nuts is selling. It covers smells, hair and whatever that thing is that what's his name gave you yesterday. Plus, if you thought the Smith children were unbearable before you have no idea the new nonense they are spewing (yeah!). What are the whore giveaways - Voice? Piercings? What about her feet? And dude, listen, you can't pull off that gear if you're not in the Rock 'N Roll Hall Of Fame. Let it go. Chuck Woolery has a NEW endorsement. Is it GREEZY? Not really, but it sure does cost a lot. Can you imagine being married to Steven Seagal. If you can you probably just passed out. We don't wear loose jeans in this one. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wanted a man goo shampoo? Well now you can hear what that sounds like! DJ Poly-Bi scratches some cool new jams. The jeans discuss car farts, a new movie pitch, relatives sending naked baby pics and tragic news about King Ass Ripper - WARNING - this will make your jeans low and loose. It's ALL HERE! Pull em up! Here we go. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

JEANS ARE ON AGAIN! What's better than a news lady screaming cause of an animal bumping her over? Listening to it on a loop of course! Tommy had a blast in Seattle thanks to Mom's like you. Plus we have a new favorite song, know what I'm sayin? Hell to the naw naw naw. A new movie idea just came to T Bunz, Will ChristJeansa like it? Hope So! The moms really meow down on this one, ENJOY! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh Meowmy, we got sidetracked by life this week, but we still wear them high for you. In this episode you get to wear your classic jeans and find the origins of Foreign Accent Syndrome. Have you heard your voice? It doesn't sound the way it used to. PLUS we include the LIVE from MOMTREAL YMH at the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival with a BANGIN audience. We talk about the great (angry) dog trainer, Peter Caine, French curse words, Top Dog's REAL murder story and Christina's dad and how good he must be at lovin the ladies. There's a FILL HER UP, Would You Rather and MORE! Nique ta mere! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does it turn you on when you think of your spouse being filled with the love mustard of another man? We have the place for you. Our new poly, bi lifestyle isn't just for us. We want to share it with you and fluid bond with you. SURPRISE - we have an improptu Top Dog call and it does NOT disappoint! Tommy's workout crushed him and he's seeking motivation. Plus we explore what is Amaze and that is the wonder of Dennis Rodman in a new documentary that chronicles his trip to North Korea. KISS IT!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you wear your jeans high? Then this is the place for you. Sometimes you gotta get so high you feel all out panic. That's not for us but some of you LIVE for that feeling! Tommy had to throw away a box that something came in and it brought up so many difficult feelings that have contributed to his hoarding. Lets explore his past trauma. A lady gets mad at Wells Fargo and says something that, lets just say, might go down as the all time greatest drop in YMH history. KISS IT! Plus we get into some of Tom's new hobbies. Won't you help come up with a performer name for him!?! No Loose Jeans allowed!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

JEANS UP! We made it - to episode 300. Can you believe it? We never thought our jeans could get any tighter, but every day they sink into our skin even more. This episode is pure mommy magic. From balloon porn and the lost souls that do it to what the most intimate of acts get you in the adult biz (it's $100). Plus Jared from Subway and Cosby are both in deeper trouble as news of new allegations for one and MORE evidence for another comes to light - it's not good for either, Rudy. Did Tom get another Double Pipe Classic this week?? Was it something new? Find out! Plus we play some angry on set rants from actors and a new player enters the You Know What I'm Sayin championship, ya heard me? We also recap some of our all-time favorite moments. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pull those jeans up, but leave those condoms at home! We party around here! Congrats to those same-sex jeans that want to wear rings too. IT'S ABOUT F*****G TIME!! We get into it with some help from a really neat guy who throws adventurous birthday parties. Plus, what language do you hate hearing the most? Middle eastern in origin? Asian? Latin? We'll explore. You thought you'd heard everthing from the sweet Thai lady who explored with Two Gentlemen, but she's got more to say and it is AMAZE. We find out who Calvin is and have a new song that we're sure you'll hate. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Call Jesus if you're ever in a pinch and if he doesn't answer call Chuck Woolery. We break down some new Know What I'm Sayin counts, plus get into the wonderful music of Lil B and Too Short - Sup Bay area! The Mommies are moving - just into an office, but it's going to be SWEET. Plus we gotta get these doggies to stop poopin INSIDE. Make sure the listen to Joe Rogan episode #664 to hear the mommies have a ball of a good time. And it's official Tommy Mommy is shooting a new special in August. Listen to find out where! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jeans, Jeans, Jeans - here's a riddle for you: What do you call a lesbian that doesn't eat p***y? We don't know either, but some lady is pretty worked up about it. The Mommies have an announcement so big they have to play a new sound cue just to live up to the magnitude of it - you'll just have to listen. Plus can you have jeans sewn into your skin so you never have to change them? Serial killers are such a fascinating, but disagreeable bunch of fellas. Have you heard of Ted Bundy? Not nice. We listen to audio of him talking about his favorite activity - killing. AND it's the return of our favorite GIGOLO -BRACE. He has a bombshell announcement and gets down and dirty about a lot of his Ho'in details. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Who's the Babe Ruth of porn? What are the side affects of Alzheimers medication? Does performing oral on a prostitute present any risk factor? These are all questions that will be answered on this episode and have you shouting Oh Yoshi Didn't! The great Yoshi Obayashi is back in the Mommy Dome with enough ridiculous tales to fill 5 podcasts, but we crammed them all into this one. Get ready to laugh, get ready to cry and get ready to be confused by how you should react during any specific segment. This is Yoshi and there are no boundries. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know what I'm saying, we went to Crate And Barrel and really enjoyed all that they have to offer. It's not just a wonderland of white people things, they also have nice toilets. Do we have a new YKWIS Champ??? LISTEN closely (and count). Plus FEEFO is back and he's talking about his new sister and we have to tell you - he ISN'T happy. We also discover the funny adult actress who blessed us all with the catchphrase of the year last week and we hope you'll help us meet her. Do you like spending a dollar? Do you document it when you do? There's a community for you where people just like bore the s**t out of other people with their purchases. Be the jeans! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your Mom's have been busy, yo. Sorry, Jeans. Sometimes your mothers are out doing so much they have to delay doing what they love most - the Momcast. We've been shooting our pilot and trying to live thru puppyhood. Both are exhausting. PLUS we have some VERY NSFW audio on this one. This episode might seriously be a collection of some of the most sexually offensive clips we've ever played, plus a new one that's going in the vault. We review the first 10 minutes of a Steven Seagal film that is so bad, so impossibly not put together that after a 3rd viewing we're still not sure what's going on - but Stone Cold Steve Austin is in it too. You ready to Fill Her Up? We got that too. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pull your Cuban jeans up over your head and get ready to lose your mind. We have the REAL Gloria Estefan on this episode and she is nothing short of epic. We discuss the Miami Fart Machine and the potential it has to revolutionize the music industry. Will we go on tour together? Listen and find out. Plus we have the original "knowmSayin" and Let Me Tell ya Something, it's really something. Plus ASMR is real (we think) and these whispers might make you feel really special. And Maria may have finally met her match at Starbucks. A manager gets testy and FIRED?!?! We are dancing the night away to the Conga and hope you love it as much we do. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of the great things about our show is that both Mexicans and Blacks like it. They can both tolerate listening to it and not get upset. It's also what some say about Art Laboe's radio show inside jail. We got a bunch of prison shout outs, you know what I'm sayin? And we revist some of the all-time great know what I'm sayin's. Shout out to Butter and Mr. Criminal. One love, homie. Plus, how can you tell when an online fart is manufactured? Is there anything that can be done to PROVE what we're witnessing? We make a plea to you, the little mommy, to help us get a return message from Gloria Estefan. Can you ask her to write back to us? And we're getting another dog - this one won't be a Huxtable. Check out our name options on the show! Be the JEANS! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We recorded this on Cinco De Mayo so we hope you had a fun, safe time celebrating. We visit some audio of a Mexican gangbanger named "Little Boy" talking about shooting a dude in the face to get you in the mood - Margarita, anyone?! Plus we weigh in on candy bars - are you an immigrant or do you eat what people born 'round these parts eat? We got that Chris Gaines doc you know you wanna hear - Do you LIKE THAT? And it turns out vocal fry isn't just frustrating to friends and family - employers hate it too. Farts? We got those too. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's true that Choosy Mom's Choose Jif, but REAL Mom's do too. Are you REAL?? ChristJeansa and Tommy return from his birth city and they have some stories. Plane dumps and did you know that coconut butter can be used as a lubricant? Tom's family has tested it. Pastor Manning lets us inside Starbucks secrets - just how much semen are they putting in your drink? We have highlights from our LIVE show in Cincy with Geoff Tate AKA Denim on Denim AKA Hot Dogs and Gatorade for LYFE. You'll find out how many hot dogs he's been eating. We haven't heard back yet from Gloria Estefan, but we're hoping by putting our song out there that she will respond soon. Love, The Miami Fart Machine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Be careful if you like to drink Starbucks like the mommies do. There's a secret that we've all just learned of and that is that Starbucks coffees and lattes CAN get you pregnant! It's true. Pastor Manning has informed us to just be careful because there are gay men masturbating into your drinks at Starbucks and that's why it's delicious but also dangerous. Who knew that Shane Lee could be such a polarizing figure?!? We dive into some of the emails from listeners - some weren't too happy with us! Plus is #WipeGate ever REALLY over? This time our closest family and friends weigh in. What does Maria say? Cousin Juli? Even Charo lets us know what time it is. And the debut of the Miami Fart Machine will surely have you whistling this hit for days to come. Do we have one the top selling artists of all time on the phone? Si, Senora! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's Shane Lee's world and we're all just hanging out around him. If angels do exist there's no question that Mr. Lee is one of them. With a voice so pitch perfect you'll find yourself questioning what is art, what is soul, what is beauty? The answer: it's Shane Lee. In this episode we dive deep in to Lee's world and range of other-worldly talent. We also reveal some very sad, yet unavoidable news to the world of adult entertainment. Get your kleenex ready - you'll be wiping up more than usual. Plus Ghost Kru and Obe1 are back with tracks that honor, who else, Shane Lee. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Need a recommendation on where to eat, what to see? It's a good thing The Concierge is in the building. Never any half-stepping when the Full Charge is here. This is one of the most action packed episodes in history. We actually feel a little guilty - about how funny and amazing this episode is. If you don't enjoy this then you have a serious head injury that is accompanied by very loose and low jeans. Respect your mother OR get knocked out in the store she works in. Plus will wipegate ever get settled? We have Supreme Court Justice Top Dog laying down a clear RULING. How will America respond?!? Want a workout video to gain muscles, but isn't gay? We might have found your guy. Black Talk that stumps our ears is in full effect and a would you rather that might make you Vegan (Vagina). Pull em up, yo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to try on an old pair. Classic Jeans 45 covers some of your favorite moments. Like the morning show where they ask Tommy if he's "their mommy" and Tina's vomit phobia. Jeans up forever. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, it's now undeniable. Wipegate is taking the world by storm and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it. Shower straight from a brown?! Are you mad? Or maybe you're just TEAMTINA. Wipe like a person first? Are you human? Maybe you're TEAMTOMMY. The listeners, other comics, hell, even Web doctors weigh in on this one. Plus a song that will blow you away dedicated to your mothers! We talk Tommy's taste in (some) white music and a call from OMG Maria that will leave you, well, unsettled? She's bananas. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So many treats in this one. Man Frandisco is no joke. We gots stuff on fleek, dirty shares, porn stories, racist neighbors and brows that will be there a LONG TIME (not so much on Fleek, boo). Get at me. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're sitting in a meeting it's nice when someone brings you a coffee or farts loudly in to a microphone. It's funny. It just is. What's not funny? Stepping in dog doo-doo at 4:30 in the AM, tracking it into bed and then realizing your sleeping in poo. It's awful. We got that new fire for you (hip kid slang) and we break down the "secret enemy." Is there one in your life? Grandma has pipes and sings about that Coco and a black dude yells a LOT at a white dude to wipe that s**t down (his car). Plus Tina's voicemails are getting crazier and we think we have a plausible theory about them. We also play a classic bit from an oldie but goodie. Can you believe Tina takes Brown in to the shower?!?!?!?! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You should make stuff and then, cause you're good at stuff, you can sell that stuff or plant a vegetable tree. Also, food is good. Jeans, you need to read. It's helpful for your mind to grow and also to expand your vocabulary so that you don't sound like such a dumbs**t. We have reviews for the REAL MAN from the Mommies and these joints are on FLEEK! Plus Tina peed a frightening color. Was it murder?! When Tom/Mom posts a fart video do you realize how arrogant you have to be to question its authenticity. We clear the air (well, we cloud it first). If you think Dad Mouth is bad, wait til you smell what Mom's got cookin in her den. (It's pretty greezy). And a new phone number is full of mysterious messages. Give em a listen! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Powerful. Today we wear our strength jeans as the leader in podcasting/comedy/fitness and fighting, our Godfather, Joe Rogan finally joins the Moms. We hit it all: The philosophy behind giving, farting, teeth, Tom or Black and what it takes to become A REAL MAN. Joe weighs in on it all, from Biggie vs Beatles to the OG Would You Rather. This is an episode you're going to love and wear around as you collect denim for the long winter. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sweet, loving, kissy-faced jeans. That's what those Valentimes are all about. We brought our love to the Ice House for a live episode with a fiery, sexy crowd. This was honestly one of the best times we've ever had live. It's like all our collective jeans are getting tighter. We give you the goods here, Chocolate anuses, brows on fleek, all kinds of words that the kids are saying now. Plus we have a sing-along and an orignal song debuts! We got dad jokes and sex sounds and a whole lot more. We love you, Jeans. We really do. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey there dirty jeans! Wipe your face cause it's covered in vaginal juices and secretions. If you have OCD we hope you get better, but in the mean time we'll laugh at you. Tina has brows on Fleek! Peep them all at Damone Roberts. Plus Tommy is breaking down. Can you make that dude rest? You thought XXplosive was a crazy track? Check out this Too Short classic. We got Brown Talk, Vocal Fry, White Big Words, Plies Talk and more! Wash your filthy jeans, will you!?! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You figure it out. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Big. Dumb. Animal. Those words don't just describe our guest Matt Braunger perfectly. They're also the name of his new 1 hour special (but without the periods). Always welcome inside the Mommy Dome, Braunger is like a son to us. We not only talk about his big special we cover the hidden C**T in Harry Potter (Tommy found it), and what in the world Plies was talking about, Ya feel me? This episode is just like hanging out in the bathroom with your buddy. You're gonna love it. Who won the last Fill Her Up? We have results! And this edition of Tom or White is pure White Knowledge testing - how much do you know!? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mind if we burp? After Chipotle? And suckin stuff? Well we've got that and more for you. Here's something we'd like to know - what exactly is Plies saying? We try to solve the mysteries of this modern day philosopher. Plus does a communist from a small island have the tools to identify a sex toy? We have differing opinions on this one. Will you side with the right Mommy!? Maybe if you're having troubles motivating yourself you keep it to yourself OR just go ahead and post every day how everyone is out to get you and everything is a battle and FIGHT! Fight things and people that aren't even there. That seems awfully stable of you. You have the Jeans, you just gotta learn how to wear them. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

J-J-J-J-Jeans Unit! This is a very special episode. In addition to being packed with content and the introduction of a new, amazing caller, we here at Your Mom's House are very proud to announce that the Main Mommy, Christina Pazsitzky (PaJeanSky) has released a NEW album! Man of the Year is Christina's second album and is now available everywhere. Be sure to get a copy so that her jeans reach higher, tigher levels! Plus the moms get down and talk about Tommy letting Christina do (and say) dumb things. Is it his fault?!? Tina worked out HARD this week. Is cross training fitness not a match for her? Tommy is in LOVE with another crime show. This one is extra murdery and we break it down for you. Plus "Uncle Bill" whom we have been wanting to have on the show for years is finally here. All we can say about that is - you're not ready. DENIM! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh jeans it's here! Your first NEW momisode of the NEW year. This one really delivers. Maybe it's us, maybe it's these jeans. We give you modern day philosopher, Plies. Tina has trouble deciphering his sounds, but once she gets it, she GETS it. Plus we try to figure out what's up with Austin Uber drivers and all the different browns we had there. Is there anything Steven Seagal doesn't know? Well, uh, that's a trick question. We jam out to a song that'll blow your mind. CP was inspired and now you'll be too. Raise a pair of pants up for this one! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is love? When you've been someone long enough that you can say, "That's stupid of you," and then they respond, "Then I'm stupid. Let me be stupid!" That's true love. It's real contempt under a thin layer of decency that says, "I know I have to live with you." When people have been together more than 50 years it can be quite colorfully spoken. A fun game you can play with your significant other is ask strangers how old they think your partner is and then brace yourself when they (hopefully) guess FAR older. It's a real HOOT. Plus Tom hung out with an older man in a sauna. Did it get weird? Well, they covered cannibalism, prostitution and drugs. So it gets fun. The brown detectives may have solved an age old mystery. Maybe it will prevent future loose stools. We'll see. Jeans, this is the final episode of 2014. Let's promise each other one thing, next year, even HIGHER! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's that time of year again - Baby Jesus has been born and there are great songs and hopefully wonderful gifts unless you're poor (yuck). We, as always, give back to the little Mommies. And this time we really deliver. Unwrap the paper and take in some Shane Lee. That's right the internet sensation who "teaches" vocal lessons is now in the DOME! He does impressions, requests and, well, whatever he feels like saying. It's awesome and it's here. Plus your two mothers have some wonderful clips including NEW (is that possible) talents that Steven Segal has - like God? (Actually, YES). And what's a better gift than breakin down some brown with Top Dog. Rejoice! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A man's desire to call out to a woman is so strong that it can overwhelm his own mental illness. Literally, the pieces that are missing in his brain will come together for a moment if that moment means sexual release. Farts. This episode has them. From both mommies. Will you eat what we fart on? Plus Garth meets Meeeh, meets more melodies. It's creepy, weird and wonderful all at the same time. Guys should cover their nipples, You BETTER wash your nuts and your other stinky parts (especially if you want someone going in there). And we talk family - and what is a reasonable amount of time to spend with them - Minutes? Get your festive jeans on! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yooooo! If you spend time overseas be careful! You could get AIDS. From a towel. Especially if a lot of dudes drop their stuff in that towel, ya feel me? Pat Robertson is a national treasure. While some look to him for spiritual leadership, we find him to have his finger on the pulse of what's funny and this guy is hilarious. Plus we have some new songs and we have to admit, they are DADGUM GOOD! Can we teach you how to sing? Yes. BEATBOX? You betcha! AND we got that Chris Gaines music that you know you wanna hear. Would you mind pulling your jeans a little higher? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are ya'll ready for some slick stuff? Cool stuff? NEAT stuff? What about RAW stuff? Well, you're gonna get it cause we're breaking down these walls between us and we like that! Are you done wiping the vomit from the rim of your mouth? Good. Now get ready to puke again when Garth Brooks speaks and is genuine about "having a conversation" with you. We get "Country" on this one, but it isn't all bad. We actually like some of your backwoods, incestuous anthems. Plus Theo must face the fact that he's named after an accused serial rapists TV son. And that ain't gonna fly, Jack! We must give him a NEW name OR can we simply call him by his BIRTH NAME?!?! You mean he has one? Yup. This episode is LOADED. Jeans UP!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is your baby's mama here? You bet. Would you like to meet him? You should. You know, for the children. If you're trying to take it all the way down your throat we have expert advice that's gonna set you straight (don't take it so far). Plus a UK coach can drop that fire the same way Coach Ice does - only it sounds sweeter. Some news reports are silly and some make you ask What The F*** Are We Doing Here? And then sometimes someone makes a song about it that's worthy of multiple replays. Plus we have the Full Charge droppin sweet science on everything including Puddin Pops and Spanish Fly, Rude and Theo too. Oh, Cosby. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Duncan Trussell is here! You may know Duncan "Truffles" as the guy who has sex with pigs for laughs, but he's more than that! D-Truss is our friend, a fellow podcaster and comedian, this sweet and enlightened man is here shining his radiance on us in a way only he can do. We examine #TEAMLITTLED**K and what it means to breathe thru the bump in your baby head with the Smith siblings. Plus Duncan takes us down the path of goodness. He points us and hopefully you towards the light with ideas and philosophies that are from a higher power, but simplified in a way that likens them to your poo covered B-hole. Get your denim space suit on, we're leaving the Stratosphere on this one! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jeans Unit Mount Up! This is it. The mountain top of YMH. We give you some Portland show and Chicargo show (Seattle was AWESOME BTW, just not as good audio quality). We get into prison talk, break down some drunk talk, sing POP, Braxton songs, Dental Updates, Would You Rather's, Fill Her Ups and soooo much more! This is the SUPER SHOW episode of Super Shows. Plus a special guest that's gonna knock your jeans right off!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's On, JEANS! Once a week shows are back and here's the first one. We help Christina's old college BF find a lady as he is now Sinnnnnnnglllllleeee again. Would you like to date him? It's an option. Tommy is busy writing songs that are so good, he doesn't even name them. He just gives them to the Universe. Will he collaborate with the Braxton's? We're WORKING ON IT! Go On, Gurl is a pretty good movie, but you'll want pizza with lots of pepperoni on it - Just a Heads up. If you're white, just be respectful to cops. Seriously, what's your problem? Plus don't use your hands to grab communal food, dumb dumb. POP, Hold it down some more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Geoff Tate is Late! It's okay. He got here and everything is fine now. Happy HallowJeans, everyone. We hope you're playing it safe and not staying out too late. Also, kids love pennies and bullets so give them away! Tate is LONG overdue in the MOMMY DOME, but thankfully he's here and you're about to get the full scoop on DENIM ON DENIM + HOT DOGS and GATORADE + also CHEERS. Geoff is a fantastic comic, truly one of the best and he's a breeze to hang with. Always funny and low maintenance. This man is our type of guy. You get the Dental Update, the D**k Detectives and more! Drops galore on this one! Pull those M7Z's up, Jeans! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh farts. Do you have a special fart box for your partner to sit in a face your release valve? Get One! These jeans have a question are Smart for shopping somewhere, but then are all sales Final? Lets discuss. The Mommies are on Tru TV's How To Be A Grown Up and we let you in behind the curtain. Want in? Plus Top Dog talks farts, poops AND Killing in a call for the ages! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ba Booey Cha Say-O Muh B-hole!! Rejoice, we have THE B-hole of all holes with us, it's Chad Daniels, mommy! The same way a serial killer knows that he will kill after he locks in and stalks his victim, sometimes for months, we knew that it would be a blast hangin' with the Chad Man! We listen to a woman transform into a man or is it the other way? Who cares. Someone else out there is having a lot of orgasms and this time it isn't a man! Want some? Plus there are plenty of big words and tales of slander and redemption. Chad Daniels is your step mom whether you like it or not. Jeans are Forever Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you gonna hate then suck our stuff! Yeah, dawg. Tommy looks strong in his gold and purple tank top and Stella Grooves noticed at Crate & Barrell - how will Christina respond?!? Which Braxton are you today? It's fun way to start the day to break down which of the Braxton sisters you're feeling like. Plus we sing the Braxton Values theme song. Do we sing perfectly? Eventually, yes. Calling all cars! Calling all cars! We have denim emergency! Peter Caine is on the phone. You did not misunderstand - PETER CAINE is on the phone. Get ready to clear the air OR stir it up? Listen and find out the real story behind Caine and his madness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hope there are still no carnists listening to our show, but if there are, stop now. Otherwise picture Tommy's tongue licking the air and put whatever you want there. Also, listen to songs about it. Did you spend time with your father lately? Did he orgasm in front of you? We sure hope so. Tommy's dad, Top Dog, is back with some great advice on, you guessed it, some BROWN TALK. We have an original song that's gonna blow your jeans off, plus some Asian talk that sounds eerily familiar. Paging Sharkeisha - Honey are you there?!? If you loosen your jeans for this episode you'll never forgive yourself. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get your dad ready to orgasm - it's LIVE from Man Fran Disco (San Francisco)! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is for Vegan's only!! Carnists are not allowed to listen. SORRY! Now that it's only us, picture Tommy kissing your thighs. Feel better? GOOOOOOD. Why do people over 50 refuse to drink water? Water is in us and everywhere around us. Maybe they are just wiser and know that nothing satisfies your bodies cravings for hydration and nutrients like Diet Coke. It tastes good and it's good for you. Especially post-workout. Do you remember your father's funeral? How many orgasms did you have staring at his corpse? We found someone that may have been more aroused than you and it's ALL TIME CLASSIC MOM mode already. Get ready to cry from joy and from your relentless orgasms on this one! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices