Wizard of Ads Monday Morning Memo

The partial meltdown of the Three Mile Island nuclear reactor in 1979 happened because of a burned-out lightbulb.When a particular safety system was malfunctioning, that bulb would light up and the technician would alertly take care of the problem.No one anticipated a burned-out bulb.Their mistake, according to my partner Cedric, is that they were monitoring for failure instead of monitoring for the absence of goodness. “That bulb should have been bright when things were good and go out when something was wrong.”A system can malfunction in countless ways but there is only one way it can function perfectly.You need to expect goodness and monitor for the absence of it.Did I tell you that Cedric is a programmer, a data scientist, and a genius?One of Cedric’s most important inventions is a system that monitors the vast array of data-crunching computers used by an important hedge fund. “The old system monitored for failure,” says Cedric, “but certain functions happen only intermittently, so a problem could exist for hours before it was discovered.”Cedric’s new programming checks every element of the system once per minute, round the clock, to confirm that everything is working correctly. But his system isn’t looking for a problem. It is looking for perfection and notifies Cedric when it fails to find it.Cedric says, “One mother tells her son to call when he gets to his friend’s house (and then takes action if she doesn’t get a call by the expected time). Compare this to the mother who says, ‘Call if you get into trouble,’ never realizing that it could be hours after a car accident before she would know that something was wrong.”The first parent is monitoring for the absence of goodness.The second parent is monitoring for failure.The lucky hedge fund with the perfectly monitored system owes a debt of gratitude to Captain Jack Sparrow.Jack Sparrow peed on the comforter in Cedric’s bedroom every time his automated kitty litter box was full, so Cedric wrote software that checked for failure once per minute.Cedric lost 3 comforters before he realized the automated kitty litter box could malfunction in more ways than he could predict, so he wrote new software to “monitor for the absence of goodness” rather than monitor for failure.Problem solved.An automated kitty litter box is a complex system.The data-crunching computers of a hedge fund are a complex system.Employees are a complex system.Are you monitoring for mistakes to criticize, or for performance to praise?If you want smooth transactions, happy customers, and big profits to be ordinary, you must cheerfully expect these things and then come to the rescue only when they fail to happen.Employers who have strong corporate cultures and happy, long-term employees are the ones who have learned to celebrate the ordinary and praise their people when things are going well.If that is not how you have operated in the past, you are only a decision away from being that employer in the future. Just ask my friend, Paul Sherman. Indy tells me you can find him in the rabbit hole.Roy H. Williams

Works of art are made by people who have tasted one or more of the nine juices of life and they want you to taste the juice, too. This was the belief of a teacher who lived in India 2,000 years ago. His thoughts were chronicled in the Natya Shastra of the Hindus. According to that teacher*, these are the Nine Juices of Life:Love heals pain and frees the ego. Your appreciation of beauty (gratitude) connects you to the source of love.Joy is expressed in laughter, contentment, and happiness. But if you pursue these things directly, they will evade you.Laughter, contentment and happiness are experienced only as a consequence of love.Wonder is the result of becoming fascinated with life. Playfulness and curiosity allow us to journey into mysteries that end in magical awe.Courage is the energy that comes when you call upon the Warrior within you. Courage manifests itself as bravery, confidence, and pride.Sadness allows you to experience compassion, that precious emotion that allows us to relate more deeply to one another. Grief is another expression of sadness, an inescapable part of healing.Anger is fire, heat and light. If anger is not acknowledged and respected, it becomes irritation, hatred, and violence. Feel your anger, but do not let it guide you. Actions taken in anger can destroy a lifetime of good.Fear is most commonly expressed as worry, doubt, and insecurity. When we hide beneath it, we shut down completely.Disgust is revulsion and rejection of something considered offensive, distasteful, or unpleasant. Disgust turned inward is self-pity and self-loathing. This cannot be healed except through love.Peace is not external, but within. It is that deep, relaxing calm that occurs when you become so full that you are empty. Five hundred and seven years ago, Giovanni Giocondo wrote about this kind of peace in a Christmas letter to a friend. “No peace lies in the future that is not hidden in this present little instant. Take peace!”If our Hindu teacher was right, every actor, musician, storyteller, painter, poet, dancer, sculptor, photographer, novelist and playwright is trying to express one or more of those nine feelings: Love, Joy, Wonder, Courage, Sadness, Anger, Fear, Disgust, and Peace.I’m not a Hindu, but I think the idea of the nine rasas is one worth contemplating.It has always been my conviction that interesting perspectives and ancient wisdom can be found in religions that are not your own. But even so, I am always unsettled when a person says, “All religions teach basically the same thing.”If a moral code is all you seek, then yes, most religions teach a similar moral code.But the laughter and joy of a reckless faith is an altogether different thing.Roy H. Williams* The theory of rasa is attributed to Bharata, a sage-priest who may have lived sometime between the 1st century BCE and the 3rd century CE. It was fully developed in about the year 1000 by the rhetorician and philosopher Abhinavagupta.

This is what good marketers see when they close their eyes:Win the heart and the mind will follow. The mind of the customer will always create logic to justify what their heart has already decided.We buy what we buy to remind ourselves – and announce to the world around us – who we are.A tribe is a group of self-selected insiders.Identify a tribe, (an affinity group.)Develop that tribe.Market to the tribe you have developed.Gathering your tribe is easy. (A.) In your first encounter, make sure they win big. Give them far more than they gave you. (B.) Speak to your tribe about what they ALREADY care about.All of the above can be summarized in two words: Identity Reinforcement.Entertainment is the currency with which you can purchase the time and attention of a too-busy public.Television and radio, YouTube videos, blog posts and social media deliver results because they deliver entertainment.Information is medicine. Entertainment is a spoonful of sugar.Reaching the customer is mechanical, a question of media selection.Convincing the customer is artistic, a question of message creation.Reaching the right people is easy. Saying the right thing is hard.Online, when you target the right customer at the zero moment of truth you are fishing with a hook for today’s customer.At the zero moment of truth online, the best hooks are information, availability, and free shipping.Customers seeking information have not yet chosen a preferred provider.Customers seeking availability want the product immediately.Customers seeking free shipping want to save money.When using mass media – TV and radio – at the zero moment of truth, your message must be urgent.Urgency is achieved when the desire is widespread, but the availability is limited.Customers in transactional mode are worried about spending money. They are willing to spend time to save money.Customers in relational mode are worried about spending time. They are willing to spend money to save time. This is why they will choose someone they feel they can trust. In the absence of a previously chosen preferred provider, they will choose to trust Google reviews and Amazon reviews.Television and radio are called mass media for a reason: they reach the unfiltered masses. When you use mass media, you are fishing with a net for future customers and their influencers.The goal of advertising in mass media is to become the preferred provider, the one the customer thinks of first and feels the best about.Mass media – TV and radio – can deliver big results quickly, but only for products that have broad appeal and a short purchase cycle.Food and entertainment have broad appeal and a short purchase cycle.Engagement rings and air conditioners have broad appeal and a long purchase cycle.The longer you use mass media, the better it works. The effects of mass media are cumulative. But it only works for products and services that have broad appeal.When using mass media long-term for products with a long purchase cycle, your message must be memorable.Mass media fails miserably for products with narrow appeal.When your product has narrow appeal, online media is your answer.Make your store and your website interesting. The seller who gets more of the customer’s time is the one most likely to get their money.Online, when you want to target the customer at the zero moment of truth, you have to bid on the right keywords or buy the right list.Unbranded keywords are the ones that everyone in your category is bidding on.Unbranded keywords are expensive.Branded keywords are those signature phrases – brandable chunks – for which your company is known.Branded keywords deliver 7x to 10x higher return-on-investment than unbranded keywords.Branded keywords are most easily created through mass media – TV and radio – but they can also become known through blog posts, YouTube videos, and other social media.Don’t set out to make money. Set out to be the kind of company that people want to do business with.If people like you, they will create their own logic for buying from you.Do you remember our opening statement? “Win the heart and the mind will follow. The mind of the customer will always create logic to justify what their heart has already decided.”These are some of the things you will study in-depth when you become a member of the Ad Masters Guild at the American Small Business Institute.Coming soon. Just email [email protected] to get your name on the early notification list.Roy H. Williams

Every beginning starts with an ending.This is one of the principles of Pendulum theory.And the middle is always in the middle.When our fight with King George ended in 1783, thirteen powerless colonies became “The United States.” This was the beginning of the first America; 3 million citizens clinging to the eastern edge of a vast, uncharted wilderness. Truly, “a land of opportunity.”Eighty years later – 1863 – we were in the middle of a war between ourselves. (1861-1865)And July 2nd of that year – the middle day in the 3-day Battle of Gettysburg – was also the middle day of the middle year in our 5-year Civil War.Fourteen years after the Civil War ended, Charles M. Russell and Frederic Remington headed west to capture the ending of the Wild West. Their paintings and sculptures of those ending days now sell for millions of dollars.Nineteen years after Charlie and Fred headed West, Teddy Roosevelt led his “rough riders” up a hill during the Spanish-American War. His arrival on that hilltop signaled the end of the Wild West, the end of the Spanish Empire, and the end of the first America.1As I said earlier, every beginning starts with an ending.The second America began when Teddy became President in 1901. This second America was a land of progress and achievement, a World Power, a country of cars and department stores and Coca-Cola, electric lights, running water, and houses everywhere.Do you remember when Whitney Houston sang, “I Wanna Dance with Somebody”? America’s memory of the Civil War was more recent than that when they elected Teddy Roosevelt.One of Teddy’s first official actions was to invite Booker T. Washington, a black educator, to dinner at the White House. White-hot rage was ignited across the South. According to historian Deborah Davis, “There was hell to pay… This story did not go away. An assassin was hired to go to Tuskegee to kill Booker T. Washington. He was pursued wherever he went… There were vulgar cartoons of Mrs. Roosevelt that had never been done before.”The Revolutionary War ended and the first America began: Opportunity America.One hundred and twelve years later – 1901 – the second America began: Achievement America.One hundred and twelve years later – 2013 – the third America began: Virtual America,a “sharing economy” featuringvirtual ownership, (Airbnb, Uber, TaskRabbit)virtual currency, (Bitcoin, Ethereum, Litecoin)virtual reality. (Facebook, Twitter, TikTok)2013 was also the halfway point in the upswing of society’s pendulum toward the zenith of our current “We” cycle. The halfway point is where we begin to take a good thing too far. In 2013 we shifted from “fighting together for the common good” to simply “fighting together.”Western Civilization2 has done this every 80 years for the past 3 millennia.I wrote at length about it in Pendulum several years ago:1783 marked the ending of our Revolutionary War.1783 was the zenith of a “We.”80 years later…1863 marked the middle of our Civil War.1863 was the zenith of a “We.”80 years later…1943 marked the middle of WWII.1943 was the zenith of a “We.”80 years later…2023 will mark the zenith of our current “We.”I wonder what we’ll be in the middle of then?Roy H. Williams1 the America of George W. and Thomas J. and Benjamin F. and Samuel Adams, the patron saint of beer. 2 Western Civilization began 3,000 years ago in Israel and Persia, then expanded to ancient Greece, then to Rome, then to Britain who took it to North America and Australia.

Dr. Seuss had1. the courage to make up new words,2. the confidence that his readers would understand what these new words meant, and3. he was a master of meter, the rhythm that is created when you arrange your words so that the stressed and unstressed syllables fall into patterns.There are a couple dozen types of meter, but Dr. Seuss used only one of them, anapestic meter, sometimes called galloping meter because it tumbles off the tongue.People often conflate meter with rhyming. But meter does NOT have to rhyme to work its magic.“What magic?”The magic of being musical.“Meter makes words musical?”Yes.“Even when read silently?”Yes, even when read silently.“So, what’s the benefit of it?”When words become musical, they enter into the non-judgmental, pattern-recognition portion of your mind.“Non-judgmental?”The right hemisphere of the brain doesn’t know fact from fiction; that’s the left brain’s job. Pierre de Beaumarchais understood this way back in 1775.“How do you know?”It was in 1775 that Beaumarchais wrote in The Barber of Seville, “Anything too stupid to be spoken is sung.”“I think you’re making all this up.”Dr. Roger Sperry documented it in 1981 and they awarded him the Nobel Prize for it.“Oh… so maybe I should just shut up and listen?”Might be a good idea.“Please continue.”Bounty, the quicker-picker-upper.BMW. The ultimate driving machine.My client would not, could not, did not commit these crimes. If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit.“Are those examples of anapestic meter?”No, anapestic meter is two light stresses followed by a heavy third stress, like this:Oh, the sea is so full of a number of fish,if a fellow is patient, he might get his wish…and that’s why I think that I’m not such a foolwhen I sit here and fish in McElligot’s Pool.And who could forget,The children were nestled all snug in their beds,While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.Away to the window I flew like a flash,Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snowGave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,When what to my wondering eyes should appear,But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer…“Okay, but can you give me an example of anapestic meter that doesn’t rhyme?”And his cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold;And the sheen of their spears was like stars on the sea,Like the leaves of the forest when Summer is green,Like the leaves of the forest when Autumn has blown,For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast,And the eyes of the sleepers waxed deadly and chill,And there lay the steed with his nostril all wide,And the foam of his gasping lay white on the turf,And so there lay the rider distorted and grey,And the widows of Ashur are loud in their wail,So I walk by the edge of a lake in my dream.“But you said Dr. Seuss made up new words and trusted that people would know what they mean.”You want to hear some made-up words?“Yeah, but not from Dr. Seuss.”Why not?“Because I won’t be speaking or writing to little kids. My people are old enough to drive cars, drink beer, and vote.”Fair enough. Here are some grown-up, made-up words.The reason you haven’t seen me out is because I’ve been Hiberdating.I type slowly because I’m Unkeyboardinated.Give me a bus ticket to anywhere. I’m going Columbusing.I can’t remember where I went last night. I think I’ve got Destinesia.The doctor and I had a Nonversation. It was very Unlightening.I don’t hang out with Todd anymore. He was always staring at his phone in a high state of Textpectation, so I Dudevorced him.You can’t say Idiot anymore. You’ve got to say Errorist.I was so exhausted I fell into bed and had a Bedgasm.“Okay, I get it.”But can you do it?“What do you mean?”Sixty-nine years ago, John Steinbeck wrote a note to his best friend, Pascal Covici:“I suffer as always from the fear of putting down the first line. It is amazing the terrors, the magics, the prayers, the straightening shyness that assails one. It is as though the words were not only indelible but that they spread out like dye in water and color everything around them. A strange and mystic business, writing. … And one thing we have lost – the courage to make new words or combinations. Somewhere that old bravado has slipped off into a gangrened scholarship. Oh! you can make words if you enclose them in quotation marks. This indicates that it is dialect and cute.”– John Steinbeck, Journal of a Novel: The East of Eden Letters“Okay, so you’re saying what?”I want you to honor Dr. Seuss and John Steinbeck by finding the courage to make new words and new combinations.“Why should I go to the trouble?”1. It will make you interesting.2. It will make you memorable.3. It will make you money.“Are you saying that if I don’t do this I’m an Errorist?”That’s exactly what I’m saying.“Whe

Jacques Cousteau, the man who made the world care about the ocean,said, “A lot of people attack the sea. I make love to it.”But he was French.Not being French, I don’t see each day’s work as a choice between attacking or love-making. I see the future unfurl each morning as a fork in the road. Will I choose the battleground or the playground?Do you see business as a necessity of life, a battleground swarming with vendors, employees, customers and competitors that have to be kept at bay? Or do you see each day as a playground where the principal game is called, “How can we make others happy?”I have lived a strange life these past 40 years, spending all day, every day talking with business owners about their best and worst experiences in business.What I have noticed is that there are patterns, one of which is that the “business is a playground” people are happier and more successful.They didn’t become happy because they were successful. They became successful because they were happy and wanted to make other people happy, too.1. Are you making people happy?2. How are you doing it?3. Where do you find your inspiration?Inspiration is an interesting subject. Decades of searching for it have taught me, “Take your inspiration from wherever you find it, no matter how ridiculous.”My hero Robert Frost found inspiration in ridiculous places as well.The way a crowShook down on meThe dust of snowFrom a hemlock treeHas given my heartA change of moodAnd saved some partOf a day I had rued.Here are three ridiculous places where I have found inspiration:J. Peterman catalogueChuck Lorre Vanity CardsChipotle Story CupsJ. Peterman catalogueIt’s Friday night at a 200-year-old pub off O’Connell Street in Dublin. World headquarters for conversation. Dark mahogany walls. Lean-faced men. Ruddy-faced women. The bursts of laughter aren’t polite, but real, approaching the edge of uncontrol. The stories being told are new, freshly minted, just for you. There is no higher honor. The room roar is high (but still, not as bad as in New York restaurants where you can’t make out what it is you, yourself just said). These Irishmen, in collarless Irish shirts and tweed caps, have managed to keep their mouths shut all week, saving up the good stuff for now, for Friday night, this very place, this very moment… How could one single city possibly give birth to Yeats, Shaw, Joyce, Wilde, Beckett… and all those here tonight as well? Working-Class Irish Pub Shirt, well-suited for both the intoxication of talk and the difficult art of listening. Not bad for just hanging out, either. Or, when absolutely necessary, for looking interesting. Simple collar band. Seven-button placket. Stud at neck. No-nonsense, rounded shirttails. Two-button cuff. No pocket. You’ve got to carry everything you’ve got… in your head.Chuck Lorre Vanity Cards# 397 CENSORED BY ME (by myself) I’ve decided to save everybody a lot of unhappiness and not submit this week’s vanity card to the CBS censors (I know when I’ve crossed the line with these things and I don’t need a bunch of corporate lawyers getting their cotton blend panties in a bunch). Accordingly, I’ve banished the offending card to that dark place where all my offending cards go – the internet. View the censored 397.#634  Russia, if you’re reading this, hack into the Nielsen computers and make our ratings higher.Chipotle Story CupsIn 2014, Chipotle asked a number of America’s best writers to craft stories to print on the sides of their cups. This is the story written by bestselling author Barbara Kingsolver:“Two-Minute Cheer for the Home Team”The ancient human social construct that once was common in this land was called community. We lived among our villagers, depending on them for what we needed. If we had a problem, we did not discuss it over the phone with someone in Mumbai. We went to a neighbor. We acquired food from farmers. We listened to music in groups, in churches or on front porches. We danced. We participated. Even when there was no money in it. Community is our native state. You play hardest for a hometown crowd. You become your best self. You know joy. This is not a guess, there is evidence. The scholars who study social well-being can put it on charts and graphs. In the last 30 years our material wealth has increased in this country, but our self-described happiness has steadily declined. Elsewhere, the people who consider themselves very happy are not in the very poorest nations, as you might guess, nor in the very richest. The winners are Mexico, Ireland, Puerto Rico, the kinds of places we identify with extended family, noisy villages, a lot of dancing. The happiest people are the ones with the most community.But here’s my favorite part of the Chipotle story:“The Yale Collection of American Literature collects American Literature in all its formats and in all media, documenting the ways great American writers reach diverse and unusual audiences beyond standard book publishing,”&n

The economy, commerce, business, the stock market and free trade: all of these were built on our ability to sell things to each other.This is why the job of the ad writer is incredibly important.Television and radio, newspapers and magazines, direct mail and email, word-of-mouth and live chat, social media and outdoor, telephone calls and sales calls are just different channels of communication.Every point-of-contact with your customer is a channel of communication.Your website is where questions are answered and additional information is gathered. But this doesn’t happen until the customer first hears about you and is intrigued enough to seek you out.External messaging – advertising, social media, news stories, and word-of-mouth – is where the conversation begins.External messaging usually triggers a visit to your website.This is the first hand-off in the relay race.If your website is built for ecommerce, the sale might be closed there, and the conversation ended. But if you have a phone room, or face-to-face salespeople, their job is to continue the conversation begun by external messaging and accelerated by your website.When a customer leaves your website to contact a salesperson, this is the second hand-off in the relay race. The baton is now in the hand of the third runner, a live human being.Have you ever seen a three-legged race where the right leg of one team member is tied to the left leg of another team member, requiring them to run in a synchronized manner?The first runner is your ad writer. The second runner is your salesperson. The bond that ties them together is your website. When these are synchronized, coordinated, and singing the same song, you have channel alignment and a high close rate.When they are managed separately, each of them going their own way, you have salespeople complaining that they aren’t getting “good leads” and that your ads are “reaching the wrong people.”I’ve never seen a company fail due to reaching the wrong people. But I’ve seen countless companies struggle due to a lack of channel alignment.I’m done talking now.Roy H. Williams

Seinfeld was “a show about nothing,” but we couldn’t get enough of it because each of us knew a George, an Elaine, and a Kramer.Rebecca Solnit’s book, The Faraway Nearby, reminds me of Seinfeld. I love this book, but I can’t really explain what it’s about. Solnit can write about nothing and keep you mesmerized. Sort of like Tom Robbins, but entirely different.Sigh.I’m not sure what else to tell you.“In this gorgeously written and insightful book, Solnit weaves essay and memoir so that the nature of the story itself is sharply drawn from every imaginable angle. Personal history, geography, maps, ice, mirrors, and breath play back and forth, as the structural threads of narrative are wound, knotted, and unwound… In a world increasingly bereft of the genuine, Solnit’s writing shines with heart, wit, and soul.”– Lindsay Hill, Publishers Weekly“The product of a remarkable mind at work, one able to weave a magnificent number of threads into a single story, demonstrating how all our stories are interconnected.”– Bookforum“A brilliant, genre-refuting book.” – San Francisco ChronicleHere is an example of what those people – and me – are trying to describe:“I used to go to Ocean Beach, the long strip of sand facing the churning Pacific at the end of my own city, for reinforcement, and it always put things in perspective, a term that can be literal too. The city turned into sand and the sand into surf and the surf into ocean and just to know that the ocean went on for many thousands of miles was to know that there was an outer border to my own story, and even to human stories, and that something else picked up beyond. It was the familiar edge of the unknown, forever licking at the shore.”“I found books and places before I found friends and mentors, and they gave me a lot, if not quite what a human being would. As a child, I spun outward in trouble, for in that inside-out world, everywhere but home was safe. Happily, the oaks were there, the hills, the creeks, the groves, the birds, the old dairy and horse ranches, the rock outcroppings, the open space inviting me to leap out of the personal into the embrace of the nonhuman world.”“Once when I was in my late twenties, I drove to New Mexico with my friend Sophie, a fierce, talented, young black-haired green-eyed whirlwind who had not yet found her direction. We had no trouble convincing ourselves it was worthwhile to drive the two days each way to New Mexico because there was a darkroom there that she could use to print photographs for a project we had. In those days we were exploring what we wished to become, what the world might give us, and what we might give it, and so, though we did not know it, wandering was our real work anyway.”“I had discovered the desert west a few years before with the force of one falling in love and had learned something of how to enter it and move through it…”– Rebecca Solnit, The Faraway Nearby, p. 31-32We relate to Seinfeld because we, too, have had Jerry’s friends but called them by different names.We relate to Rebecca Solnit because we, too, have felt alone, discarded, and ignored.We relate to Rebecca because we have driven to New Mexico with a crazy friend.Who was your crazy friend?What crazy things did you do together?How did it happen that you fell out of touch?Roy H. Williams

If you are going to communicate effectively with a person, you need to know something about their beliefs.Most writers assume their readers see and believe as they do. And when they knowingly write to people who believe differently, their writing often takes the tone of an argument, leaning heavily on evidence and examples, with undertones of disparagement and mischaracterization. Such writers persuade no one, but rather drive the wedge deeper.1. To make the sale, you must win the respect of your audience.2. Belief is never a matter of evidence; it is always a matter of choice.3. You cannot take a person where you want them to go, until you first meet them where they are.4. (A) Perspective: You have to see through their eyes.(B) Empathy: Feel what they feel.(C) Use the words they love. When you meet your customer in that safe place, and establish the bond of a common perspective, then you can gently begin to give them new information.5. People never change their minds. If you give them the same information they were given in the past, they will continue to make the same decision they made in the past. They will continue to disagree with you.6. When a person appears to have “changed their mind,” they have simply made a new decision based on new information. And this new information should always be shared from the platform of a common perspective.7. Win the heart and the mind will follow.The mind will always create logic to justify what the heart has already decided.This will be the first ad in a one-year series:My name is Tim Schmidt and you’ve probably never heard of my company. We teach people how to avoid danger, save lives, and keep their loved ones safe. We currently have nearly half-a-million members. But still, you’ve probably never heard of us. Because our members are trained NOT to talk about it. Chances are, some of our members are friends of yours. And they’ve never told you. Because talking about it is NOT what we do. What we do is avoid danger, save lives, and keep our loved ones safe. Our members are doctors and single moms and firemen and grandmothers and Veterans and Democrats and Republicans and members of every faith. We are thoughtful, responsible, and non-violent. But when you are with one of our members, you are safe, because they know exactly what to do if something crazy happens. More importantly, they know exactly what NOT to do. We are the United States Concealed Carry Association. See what we’re all about at USConcealedCarry.com.DEVIN: Discover the little-known backstory of the US Concealed Carry Association at USConcealedCarry.comHere’s an interesting question:Q: Why would anyone ever knowingly walk into a minefield?A: Because they need to get to the other side.Is there a minefield you need to cross?Have you been avoiding it because everyone keeps telling you how dangerous it is?Are you ready to get started?Roy H. Williams

Every book is an island that exists only in the mind of its writer, and the hope of every writer is that you will visit their island and be glad you did. But in The Faraway Nearby, her book about how we make our lives out of stories, and how we are connected by empathy, narrative and imagination, Rebecca Solnit says,“The object we call a book is not the real book, but its potential, like a musical score or seed. It exists fully only in the act of being read. And its real home is inside the head of the reader, where the symphony resounds and the seed germinates. A book is a heart that only beats in the chest of another.”I think of books as islands, but Rebecca Solnit thinks of them as sheet music, or as seeds. I followed that trail of thought until I realized that she and I had simply discovered different metaphors to describe how books are literary portals of escape into alternate realities.Bored with my navel-gazing, I decided to search the 5,067 passages in the random quotes database at MondayMorningMemo.com to see how many other writers had spoken of islands. So I logged into the admin section, typed the word “island” into the search window, and was delighted to find that I had transcribed “island” passages from no fewer than a dozen of my favorite authors.“Something of the sense of holiness on islands comes, I think, from this strange, elastic geography. Islands are made larger, paradoxically, by the scale of the sea that surrounds them. The element which might reduce them, which might be thought to besiege them, has the opposite effect. The sea elevates these few acres into something they would never be if hidden in the mass of the mainland. The sea makes islands significant.”– Adam Nicolson, Sea RoomFrom 1888 until his death in 1894, Robert Louis Stevenson lived in the South Seas. The diary of his island travels was published immediately after his death.“Few men who come to the islands leave them; they grow grey where they alighted; the palm shades and the trade-wind fans them till they die, perhaps cherishing to the last the fancy of a visit home, which is rarely made, more rarely enjoyed, and yet more rarely repeated. No part of the world exerts the same attractive power upon the visitor, and the task before me is to communicate to fireside travelers some sense of its seduction, and to describe the life, at sea and ashore, of many hundred thousand persons, some of our own blood and language, all our contemporaries, and yet as remote in thought and habit as Rob Roy or Barbarossa, the Apostles or the Caesars.”Three years later, Mary Kingsley spoke of her Travels in West Africa, an 1897 bestseller.“Once a hippopotamus and I were on an island together, and I wanted one of us to leave. I preferred it should be myself, but the hippo was close to my canoe, and looked like staying, so I made cautious and timorous advances to him and finally scratched him behind the ear with my umbrella and we parted on good terms. But with the crocodile it was different….”But 30 years before Robert Louis Stevenson or Mary Kingsley wrote about their islands, Mark Twain had a few words to say about the proposed US annexation of the Sandwich Islands.“When these islands were discovered the population was about 400,000, but the white man came and brought various complicated diseases, and education, and civilization, and all sorts of calamities, and consequently the population began to drop off with commendable activity. Forty years ago they were reduced to 200,000, and the educational and civilizing facilities being increased they dwindled down to 55,000, and it is proposed to send a few more missionaries and finish them. It isn’t the education or civilization that has settled them; it is the imported diseases, and they have all got the consumption and other reliable distempers, and to speak figuratively, they are retiring from business pretty fast. When they pick up and leave we will take possession as lawful heirs.”In his book, Marina, Carlos Ruiz Zafon writes of a strange island in the heart of Barcelona.“The Sarrià cemetery is one of Barcelona’s best-hidden corners. If you look for it on the maps, you won’t find it. If you ask locals or taxi drivers how to get there, they probably won’t know, although they’ve all heard about it. And if, by chance, you try to look for it on your own, you’re more likely than not to get lost. The lucky few who know the secret of its whereabouts suspect that this old graveyard is in fact an island lost in the ocean of the past, which appears and disappears at random.”“The memories of hundreds of people lie here. Their lives, their feelings, their expectations, their absence, the dreams that never came through for them, the disappointments, the deceptions and the unrequited loves that poisoned their existence… All that is here, trapped forever.”And then we have the laughable, lovable wit of Bill Bryson in his book, At Home.“Columbus’s real ac

I was 24 and Phil was 60 and he was a most unusual man. Articulate but quiet, passionate but calm, and possibly the world’s greatest listener.By the age of 60, Phil had traveled to more than 40 countries, published stories, articles, and poems in more than 50 magazines, and assembled a personal library of books that overflowed the small rooms of his modest home.It occurs to me as I write this that books are what all my friends seem to have in common.Phil and I traded stories for only 3 years before Pennie and I moved away, but we corresponded once a month until that fateful day in 2019 when he left this world to move in with a friend.He was 97 years old.Phil always wore a tie. He didn’t have many, but each of them was special to him. He gave his wife, Barbara, careful instructions before he died regarding which tie he wanted each of his friends to have. The tie I received is covered with books on bookshelves. It hangs over the draperies in my study at home.When Barbara passed away in 2020, I received a phone call from their grandson, Cooper, informing me that Phil had left me his library.Phil’s library was as eclectic as he was:The Autobiography of A.A. Milne, (author of Winnie the Pooh)The Life of Abraham Lincoln, by TarbellLiterature and Western Man, by J.B. PriestlyUnderstanding Types, Shadows, and Names. A 2-volume set.The Gospel of Moses, by Samuel J. SchultzHawksbill Station, by Robert SilverbergThe Little Minister, by J.M. Barrie (the author of Peter Pan)The Shepherd of the Hills and When a Man’s a Man, by Harold Bell WrightAnd Behold The Camels Were Coming, by Edward Cuyler KurtzAnd then we have Jules Verne, Mark Twain, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Walt Whitman, Edgar Allan Poe, Arthur Conan Doyle, Zane Grey, Louisa May Alcott, Theodore Roosevelt, and the complete works of James Whitcomb Riley and William Makepeace Thackeray.And because Phil was a pastor and a Bible scholar, we haveA fat 4-volume set of Word Studies in the Greek New Testament,A Lawyer Examines the Bible,The Treasury of David,The Old Testament and the Fine Arts, by Cynthia MausChrist and the Fine Arts, by Cynthia Mausand a few dozen books about the Tabernacle in the Wilderness,along with a couple of hundred Biblical commentaries and Expositions of Holy Scripture.And then there is the gorgeous 27-volume set featuring the paintings of all the greatest artists of the last 600 years.Pennie and I bought a new trailer to send with Joe Davis when he went to pick up the books 500 miles away. That trailer is 17 feet long, 8 1/2 feet wide, has a 9-foot ceiling, and is rated to carry 3 1/2 tons. Joe drove home slowly because the trailer was overloaded.You will notice a couple of new things in the Welcome Center upon your next arrival at Wizard Academy. The first of these will be the smell of delicious food. Pennie is pursuing a coffee cafe license so that people can have something to eat while they sit with a book or a computer or a friend and a glass of wine and forget about their cares for awhile.The second thing you’ll notice will be the thousands of books adorning the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves with rolling ladders in the James Phillip Johnson reading room. And on the wooden header where those rolling ladders roll, you’ll read the last words Phil ever spoke to me:“You acquire an education by study, hard work and persistence. But you absorb culture by viewing great art, listening to great music and reading great books.”I scribbled those words on a scrap of paper so that I could add them to the Random Quotes database when I got home.I had no idea that I would never hear Phil’s voice again.Roy H. Williams

I sit with a bag of popcorn and watch the frantic climbers of the ladder of success.The climbers who capture my interest are the ones who consider themselves to be “clever.” But look closely and you’ll see their only “cleverness” is that they are uncommitted and disloyal. Every person is a steppingstone for them and every relationship is transactional.I ask them about this and they say with pride, “I am an independent thinker. I am my own dog.”But isn’t that just another way of saying, “stray dog, dog without a home, dog that nobody wants”?Clever climbers have no master. This means no commitment, no loyalty to anyone or anything other than themselves. But happy dogs have masters to whom they are loyal and committed.Climbers envision a life of recreation and leisure.But recreation and leisure are medicine, not a lifestyle.Medicine, used wisely, restores us to health.Medicine as a lifestyle is the definition of a drug addict.When you live for something bigger than you are, you gain identity, purpose, and adventure.Identity: Who am I?Purpose: Why am I here?Adventure: What must I overcome?We spend our lives searching for security and then hate it when we get it. Security is the death of adventure.Self-made people speak of being their happiest during days of struggle and uncertainty. This is when they knew exactly who they were, why they were here, and what it was they had to overcome. Hence the saying, “It is the journey, not the destination, that matters in the end.”This is the self-perception that I will be sending to [email protected] hope you will use this same format when you send him your self-perception.Identity: I am a mailman.Purpose: I deliver messages.Adventure: I must overcome ignorance, insulation, and apathy.Ignorance: I must cause those who don’t know, to know.Insulation: I must penetrate the insulation that surrounds their brains.Apathy: I must touch their hearts so that they care.STEP ONE is to summarize in three, short phrases, your identity, your purpose, and your adventure.STEP TWO is to explain how you will overcome the obstacles that are the essence of your adventure.Disclosure: the reason I’m asking you to send your self-perception to Indy is because you will give deeper thought to your introspection if you know that another person – even a lowly beagle – is going to read it. This exercise is not for my benefit and it’s not for Indy’s rabbit hole. It’s for you.If you deliver good newsand solutions for problemsand try to alleviate sufferingand make people happy,you are doing the work of God.You are no longer your own dog.You are God’s dog.Roy H. Williams

These are the basic principles of Chaotic Ad Writing as taught by Wizard Academy:1. Approach your subject from an unexpected angle.2. Tell two stories at once, using the relationship between two things as a pattern to reveal the relationship between two other things.3. Allow the listener to arrive at their own conclusion.In the New Testament, stories like these are known as parables.This is the challenge we outlined in last week’s Monday Morning Memo:STEP ONE: I have chosen the word “Molokai” to be our unexpected beginning.STEP TWO: Send [email protected] a link to the website of a product or service for which an ad could not possibly begin with the word “Molokai.”STEP THREE: I will randomly select five of these products or services and write a fascinating ad for each of them beginning with the word, “Molokai.”STEP FOUR: These five ads will be published in next week’s Monday Morning Memo.DISCLOSURE: When I promised I would “randomly select” 5 products or services for which I would write an ad beginning with Molokai, I hadn’t yet decided how I was going to do that. In the end, I just told Indy to give me the first 5 emails he received. These were fromJay Leigeber at 1:25AM,Malton Schexneider at 3:24AM,Pauline Tom at 3:51AM,Damien Deighan at 4:08AM, andTSO at 4:39AM, but this was an email to Indy for a “Molokai Beach Face Mask,” from John at TSO, so it was sort of like, “Interesting coincidence, huh?” So I figured I would take the next one,Bryan Eisenberg at 5:18AM, but Bryan is a close friend and that would look suspicious, so I disqualified him and went with Wendy Gardner at 5:53AM.A few more emails trickled in during the next 30 minutes, then at 6:25AM Jason Fox opened the floodgates and Indy Beagle feared he would be swept away.Are you ready to read some ads?Jay Leigeber was convinced “Molokai” could not be used as the opening word for this product:Molokai. The most Hawaiian of the Hawaiian islands. Warm, wonderful, Molokai.For a one-time payment of just a hundred and twenty-nine dollars…Tushy will take you to Molokai every day…and bring you home, relaxed… refreshed… and feeling oh, so fine.The Tushy Spa warm water bidet attachment will fit any toilet…in any home… and take you to warm, wonderful Molokai whenever…you want…. to go.HelloTushy dot com.Malton Schexneider was convinced “Molokai” could not be used as the opening word for this product:Molokai is the wonderful island where the Hawaiians sent their people when they had a painful, debilitating condition. If you experience back pain, you know debilitating pain. Will you let us help you? Our free report on Eliminating and Preventing Back Pain will be your own private, Molokai, where you can find relief, and health, and experience happiness once again. Molokai awaits you at Back Pain Relief Secrets dot com.[That ad was completely true, by the way. Molokai housed Hawaii’s leper colony for more than 100 years. – Indy Beagle]Pauline Tom was convinced “Molokai” could not be used as the opening word for this product:Molokai. That untouched Hawaiian island, is HOME to the world’s most beautiful birds. But there is one bird in your own backyard that is smart… and wise… and beautiful enough to be the pride of Molokai, and it needs a home, too. Will you give your Bluebird a fabulous, custom home where it can be safe and happy? Just 25 dollars at Texas Bluebird Society dot org.Damien Deighan was convinced “Molokai” could not be used as the opening word for this product:Molokai is the island where everything is simple… straightforward… uncomplicated. If you’re looking for a simple, straightforward, uncomplicated way to find the data scientists your company needs, visit data science talent dot co dot uk, the Molokai of data science. Last year we filled 91.6 percent of all requests with the picture-perfect candidate. Simple, straightforward, uncomplicated… data science talent dot co dot uk. Aloha.Wendy Gardner was convinced “Molokai” could not be used as the opening word for this product:Molokai. Five hundred visitors travel to Hawaii, but the one who goes home with a life-changing smile is that one visitor who finds marvelous, magnificent, Molokai. BaxterBoo dog goggles are like that. Five hundred dogs wag their tails but the dog that makes you smile is that one dog who is wearing marvelous… magnificent… BaxterBoo dog goggles. BaxterBoo dot com. Visit us.[Wait a minute! A few hours after the wizard wrote those five ads, an email from Bob Jones suddenly appeared and it was time-stamped at 2:39AM! I guess it got hung up somewhere along the way, so I asked the wizard to write one last ad. – Indy Beagle]Molokai. The unspoiled island. Pure water. Fresh Air. Nature at its most natural. Aquaza brings the health and freshness of Molokai to crowded

Robert Frost died when I was four, so we never met face to face, but throughout my formative years I spent an hour with him every night before I fell asleep.Robert Frost taught me how to write.If you will write like Robert Frost, you must approach your subject from an unexpected angle. Few things capture the attention like the unexpected. When your reader or listener has chosen to follow you on a journey, it is because they expect to be fascinated, intrigued, and delighted.Don’t let them down.Robert Frost knew that things can be used as metaphors for other things, which is why his poems often finish by making a powerful point we didn’t see coming. The dual nature of metaphors makes it easy to tell two stories at once.In addition, Frost uses metaphors to lead us toward a destination. Then he allows us to joyfully discover it on our own. He doesn’t tell us what to believe; he just causes us to believe it.And like every great ad, his poems get better with every repetition.Robert Frost noticed the binary relationship between the hot and cold theories of earth’s destruction and wrote “Fire and Ice” exactly 100 years ago.Some say the world will end in fire,Some say in ice.From what I’ve tasted of desireI hold with those who favor fire.But if it had to perish twice,I think I know enough of hateTo say that for destruction iceIs also greatAnd would suffice.– Robert Frost  (1920)1. With his opening surprise of just 12 words he shows us the two possibilities known to every astrophysicist: (A.) our world could be burned up by the explosion of our sun, or (B.) we could perish in a coming ice age.2. But then he makes a hard left turn to reveal that desire is just another type of fire, and hate is another kind of ice that for destruction “is also great and would suffice.”Robert Frost opens our eyes to the destructive powers of greed and hate in 15 seconds, with just 51 words.When you allow a person to arrive at their own conclusion, the truth you have communicated is no longer your truth, but their truth, and no one will ever be able to take it away from them. They will forever defend it as a product of their own observation.1. Approach your subject from an unexpected angle.2. Tell two stories at once, using the relationship between two things as a pattern to reveal the relationship between two other things.3. Allow the listener to arrive at their own conclusion.These are the principles of Chaotic Ad Writing as taught by Wizard Academy.Chaos in science is not randomness but its opposite, a higher level of order beyond the scope of our immediate awareness. In the words of chaotic novelist Tom Robbins,*“Everything in the universe is connected, of course. It’s just a matter of using imagination to discover the links, and language to expand and enliven them.”But Robert Frost knew this before Tom Robbins was born. And Robert Frost taught it to me.Shall we put it to the test?STEP ONE: I have chosen the word “Molokai” to be our unexpected beginning.STEP TWO: Send [email protected] a link to the website of a product or service for which an ad could not possibly begin with the word “Molokai.”STEP THREE: I will randomly select five of these products or services and write a fascinating ad for each of them beginning with the word, “Molokai.”STEP FOUR: These five ads will be published in next week’s Monday Morning Memo.The objective of this demonstration will be to show you how “everything in the universe is connected, of course,” and how you can leverage these connections to accomplish things you have never been able to accomplish before.I would happily tell you “what kinds of things” but when you have seen this technique demonstrated five times, you will come to your own conclusions. The connectedness of everything around you will no longer be Robert Frost’s truth, or Tom Robbins’ truth, or my truth, but your truth, and no one will ever be able to take it away from you.Robert Frost won the Pulitzer Prize 4 times and was nominated for the Nobel Prize a record 31 times. Had he chosen to become an ad writer, he could have helped thousands of business owners achieve their dreams and become wonderfully wealthy in the process.Roy H. Williams

Above ground, in the sunlight, grain silos provide much of our daily sustenance.Below ground, in the darkness, hides another kind of silo.But it is not the missile silo that is killing us. People are disappearing into the bone-dry quicksand of grain silos in less than 5 seconds.“Once entrapment begins, it happens very quickly due to the suction-like action of the grain; Researchers in Germany found that an average person who has sunk into grain once it has stopped flowing can get out only as long as it has not reached knee level; at waist level assistance is required. Once the grain has reached the chest a formal rescue effort must be undertaken.” – WIKIPEDIAI have my beliefs and you have your beliefs.Belief is not a group project. But a sense of belonging, the creation of a community, and the establishment of a society have always been group projects.Covid-19 took the face-to-faceness of community and society away from us, leaving us no alternative but to gather online in echo-chamber silos where we can hear our own opinions voiced oh-so-eloquently by others.If we sink into the life-giving grain of these online silos, we will suffocate.When you know a person’s silos, you know everything about them that matters.Cambridge Analytica gained access to information on 50 million Facebook users as a way to identify the personalities of American voters and influence their behavior. Cambridge Analytica was merely an expression of Online Marketing 101.I’m not saying it was right. What I’m saying is that when you are in a silo, you are easy to manipulate.We segregate ourselves into silos based on (1.) our beliefs, and (2.) our activities.The most successful online marketers are those who know their ABC’s.*A: Identify a tribe.B: Develop the tribe.C: Market to the tribe.Each of us participates in a handful of tribes. It is impossible to avoid.Just try to remember that each of your tribes exists in a silo – an echo chamber – where it is easy to become convinced that “everyone” thinks and feels like you do.But your silos aren’t the world. And my silos aren’t, either.This is why I’ve been reaching out to well-spoken friends and acquaintances who spend time in other silos and have different beliefs. I asked these people – one by one – to share their thoughts on subjects I knew they saw differently than me.I’ve enjoyed it immensely, and I suggest you do it, too.But this is the important part: Ask and listen only. Do not – under any circumstances – offer your perspective. If you do, the whole conversation will feel to your friend like an ambush. Just ask questions and keep your mouth shut. Focus your mind on trying to see what your friend sees.And do it by Zoom or telephone. It is much easier to focus a call – and end it – than a face-to-face meeting.Do you have the courage to do this? Are you willing to look at the future – if only for a few minutes – through the eyes of someone who believes differently than you?If you answer yes, you have the mind of a mass marketer with arms long enough to embrace the world.If you answer no, my suggestion is that you focus your marketing firepower on the silos you know best. This will allow you to talk to your tribe, in the language of that tribe, according to the values and beliefs they hold dear.Indy says to tell you “Aroo,” and that he’ll see you in the rabbit hole.Roy H. Williams* as taught by chairman Ryan Deiss in his class at Wizard Academy.“A relationship seldom achieves its full potential without confrontation; but confrontation is almost always doomed to failure unless it grows out of a deep trust built on honest communication. Even then, it must be handled with sensitivity. If your friend is not convinced of your genuine concern, if he is not certain that you have his best interests at heart, he will likely become defensive, rejecting your correction.” – Richard Exley“Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Be swift to love, make haste to be kind.” – Henri Frederic AmielA

You are flying your small airplane on a beautiful day.There is a tiny speck on your windshield.Like the North Star, it doesn’t move.This is why it escapes your notice.Had that speck begun moving across your windshield, you would have recognized it as another airplane. The fact that it doesn’t move means that you and that speck will soon intersect unless one of you changes direction. That speck will quickly-all-at-once fill your windshield and then…I’m trying to teach you a new way of thinking about your blind spot.If you knew it was there, they wouldn’t call it a blind spot.Blind spots are why it is wise for you and me to each have a special person in our lives to notice things we don’t notice. You would be amazed at the number of times each week Princess Pennie has to point out specks on the windshield I didn’t see.Right now, you are thinking to yourself, “What the wizard just told us completely contradicts Indy Beagle’s assertion last week that, ‘Nothing is so annoying as unsolicited advice, for within it lies the assumption of superior wisdom.'”I’m not contradicting Indy, I’m just pointing out a speck on his windshield. Each of us – you, me, everyone – is limited in our perceptions. But we don’t like to believe we are.Time-travel with me:In the second chapter of the first book of the Bible, God muses to himself, “It is not good for a person to be alone.”I think this is why He made so many of us, and why we are so different.Solomon, widely known for his wisdom, wrote, “Two are better than one…If one falls down, his partner can help him up. But pity the person who falls and has no one to help him up!” 1And in the Proverbs, he wrote, “Whoever finds a partner finds a good thing.” 2On page 148 of the book that won her the Nobel Prize in Literature,3 Olga Tokarczuk writes,“The world here is so large, so impossible to take in,” she said, fixing her gaze on me for a few seconds, testing me, “Agata is my wife.”I blinked, I had never heard one woman referring to another as “my wife” before. But I liked it.“You’re surprised, aren’t you?”I thought for a while.“I could have a wife, too,” I said with conviction. “It’s better to live with someone than alone. It’s easier to go through life together with someone than on one’s own.”Allow me to conclude by revisiting your accusation that today’s Monday Morning Memo contradicts last week’s Monday Morning Memo written by Indy Beagle.Niels Bohr, the physicist who won the 1922 Nobel Prize in Physics, said,“The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.”Please note that Niels Bohr was a physicist, not a philosopher.Stanislaw Lec, however, was a philosopher. He confirmed Niels Bohr’s thesis about opposite truths by saying, “Proverbs contradict each other. That is the wisdom of a people.” 4F. Scott Fitzgerald, the writer who gave us The Great Gatsby, summarized the idea of opposite truths this way, “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”Yes, F. Scott was a drunkard, but that doesn’t mean he was wrong. Alcohol was a speck on his windshield. Sadly for F. Scott, that speck quickly-all-at-once filled his windshield when he was just 44 years old.I’m betting if he had it all to do over again, he would have let someone help him wipe that speck away.Roy H. Williams1 Ecclesiastes 4:9-102 Proverbs 18:22 [Yeah, I wrote “partner” when Solomon said “wife.” Don’t have a conniption. A person doesn’t have to be your spouse – or even female – to point out the speck on your windshield. – RHW]3 Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead, p. 1484 I’ve put 30 examples of “proverbs contradicting each other” in the rabbit hole for you. – Indy

Few things are as annoying as unsolicited advice,for within it lies the assumption of superior wisdom.(So when you tell a person your PLAN for what THEY should do,always be aware that they secretly want to punch you in the mouth.)Uh-oh. Did I just give you some unsolicited advice?Heavyweight Champion Mike Tyson was listening to a reporter tell him how his opponent planned to beat him in their upcoming boxing match. Mike famously replied, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”There are other interpretations of Mike’s famous saying, too. Like how “Plan B” is for when a business person gets punched in the mouth by unforeseen circumstances, and how “Plan C” is for when they get punched in the mouth a second time. When my boss, the wizard, was chancellor of Wizard Academy, he got all the way down to “Plan D,” and now Daniel Whittington is putting together “Plan E” because, you know, Covid.Hey! You want a PDF download of the 1998 Business Book of the Year, The Wizard of Ads?  Here you go! (I don’t know how it works in other browsers, but in Safari you’ll find “Export as PDF” under your FILE pulldown.)If it seems like my paragraphs aren’t connected to each other, it’s probably because all my experience is in the rabbit hole and beagles are easily distracted.Speaking of “distracted,” Gabrielle Roth writes,“If you came to a shaman or medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions. When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence? Where we have stopped dancing, singing, being enchanted by stories, or finding comfort in silence is where we have experienced the loss of soul. Dancing, singing, storytelling, and silence are the four universal healing salves.”I don’t know how it is with people, but dogs are born knowing this!Dance! Sing! Be Enchanted by Stories! Celebrate Silence!It’s really not that hard. Just imitate a happy dog.Samuel Butler was born in 1835 and even though that was a long time ago, Samuel understood the happiness of dogs:“The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.”Dale Carnegie said,“Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see a bird that had the blues? One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.”I guess it’s time to take this plane in for a landing now because the wizard gave me a target word-count and we’re getting pretty close to it. Keep in mind that I’m flying solo for the first time, okay?Here’s my summary, from a beagle’s point-of-view:The events of 2020 will leave their marks on us for the rest of our lives. Having been forced into a more introspective existence by the Covid, many people learned things about themselves that had previously been suppressed.Self-aware people experienced solitude and emerged from it less fixated on the outward trappings of success, and more concerned about the quality of their relationships and their inner lives.Persons unwilling to examine themselves experienced isolation and are filled with anxiousness about things returning to “how they used to be.”There. That’s it. Our wheels have touched the ground.“This is your captain speaking. Ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived at our destination. We know you have a choice in air travel, and we want to thank you for choosing to fly Beagle Airlines.”Aroo,Indy Beagle

Notice that title. It does not say, “How to Write Scripts for TV Ads,” but, “How I Write…”I have my own weird way of doing it.TV writers use a split-page approach:Camera instructions in the left column. Audio in the right column.I chose not to do it that way.Back when the world was young, Radio people told me that Radio scripts SHOULD ALWAYS BE TYPED IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.I chose not to do it that way.and then came the online people who told me to write everything in lower case letters because who has the time to press the shift key in this fast paced digital world are living inMe. The answer is me. I have enough time to press the shift key.Aaron Sorkin would have been a great Radio writer. Watch his TV series – The West Wing, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, The Newsroom, or Sports Night – and you’ll hear dazzling dialogue, brilliant banter, and riveting repartee. Your imaginary people will begin talking like real people after you’ve studied his film scripts, A Few Good Men, The Social Network, Moneyball, and Steve Jobs.Aaron Sorkin says, “Until the words are right, ain’t nothin’ right.”Or at least that’s what he would say if he was from Texas.Radio writers have five tools in their toolbox:(A) choice of words(B) tone of voice(C) vocal inflection(D) music(E) special effects; such as the sound of a car starting, a door slamming, or a dog barking.Television writers have all the radio tools available to them, as well as:(F) facial expressions, hand gestures, and body language(G) Screen text(H) visual special effects; such as slow motion, disappearances, and backlighting.The predictable mistakes made by Radio people writing TV ads are:They try to cram 30 seconds worth of words into a 30-second TV ad.They describe things they could easily have shown onscreen.They forget screen text is available.They use an omniscient voice-over when they could have shown us the person talking. The omniscient narrator – common in radio ads – doesn’t work so well on TV.Make no mistake: bad writing is bad writing. A boring Radio ad will be a boring ad on TV.Here’s how to turn a great Radio ad into a brilliant TV ad:Eliminate descriptions of actions.Show us those actions instead. Add action-instructions to your script, but in a different color than the black ink used for dialogue. If you need to make a cellphone video of yourself performing the actions so the director can see what you see in your mind, do it.Show us who is talking.Add instructions to your script regarding hand gestures, facial expressions, and body language, but use a different color than the black ink used for dialogue.Use screen text.Domain names, phone numbers, and store hours are more easily shown than spoken. But before you add screen text, ask, “Do we really need this?” And when you write the instructions for screen text, use a different color than the black ink used for dialogue.Use special effects to amplify what you want to make memorable.But be careful. The gratuitous use of special effects is the mark of an amateur. Before you use them, ask, “Do we really need these?” And print these instructions in a different color than the black we use for dialogue.Color is a language that can be used to link, or separate.In case I forgot to mention it, the only thing you should ever print in black is the dialogue. Special effects, screen text, and instructions to the actors and cameramen will be in a subordinate color of ink.Because the dialogue – the words – are what matter most.I believe Radio writers can learn to write TV ads a lot easier thanTV writers can learn to write Radio ads.And Aaron Sorkin agrees!Or at least he would if he was from Texas.Roy H. Williams

457 BC – In the 7th chapter of the Old Testament Book of Ezra, King Artaxerxes of Persia issues a decree to rebuild Jerusalem which results in the rebuilding of that city under Nehemiah.Go west from Jerusalem across the Mediterranean, west across the Atlantic, then halfway across the landmass of North America and you’re in Central Texas. It was there, sometime between the decree of Artaxerxes in 457 BC and the birth of Jesus in Bethlehem, that a group of Native American wise men painted a huge mural in a cave along the Pecos river.These Coahuiltecans were stargazers who believed that geographical landmarks are mirrored in the stars. “As above, so below.”The astronomical and geographical accuracy of this 2,000-to-2,500-year-old rock painting is astounding. It shows all the major landmarks along the path of the sun during the winter solstice as it travels from Austin, Texas, to San Angelo, Texas, 200 miles away. And it is huge: 26 feet wide and 13 feet tall, featuring dozens of important landmarks and religious stories and astronomical devices; messages from a distant past.Today we will focus on two small, but important pieces of this giant rock painting known as the “White Shaman.”AThese three “Y” symbols in the painting are the three plateaus known as Wednesday Mountain (on which Wizard Academy is built,) Thursday Mountain (which is owned by a Native American tribe,) and Friday Mountain, at the base of which lies America’s largest Hindu temple.The alignment of these 3 plateaus mirrors the stars in the Belt of Orion with amazing fidelity. See it for yourself in the rabbit hole. The stars of Orion’s Belt have been recognized as many things over the centuries, including the Golden Yard-arm, the Ellwand and Our Lady’s Wand. They have also been called the Three Sisters, the Three Kings, the Three Wise Men and the Magi, the very namesakes for which Wizard Academy is named. How amazing is that!The Belt of Orion, the Great Bear, and the Pleiades are the only constellations mentioned in the Bible. Let’s talk about the landmarks that mirror the stars in the Great Bear, Ursa major.Cold water gushes out of the ground 365 days a year from 5 underground springs along the Central Texas escarpment: Barton Springs in Austin, San Marcos Springs in San Marcos, Comal Springs in New Braunfels, and San Pedro Springs and San Antonio Springs in downtown San Antonio. These springs are represented in the White Shaman by a connected set of 4 symbols revealing the locations of those springs. These locations mirror the stars in the tail of Ursa major, the Great Bear. Do you see that bottommost symbol? It represents San Pedro springs and San Antonio springs, both in downtown San Antonio. You’ll notice it to be a little different than the other symbols in that it has an additional module attached, with two red lines – a river  – extending out from it. This is because San Antonio springs is the headwaters of the San Antonio river. Those Coahuiltecans didn’t miss a thing!We were given this amazing news by our neighbor, Brian Dudley, who introduced us to Gary Perez, the Native American who became famous for deciphering the White Shaman rock painting.We were told by multiple people when we bought the land in 2004 that our plateau had been sacred to Native Americans since before the time of Columbus, but no one had any proof of that until now.Hearing Gary Perez and/or Carolyn Boyd, the author of the book, The White Shaman Mural, explain the history, astrology and math that went into decoding that rock painting would be fun, don’t you think?When this virus has finally been defeated, our plan is to have one or both of these luminaries as guest speakers when we celebrate the 20th anniversary of Wizard Academy. Your eyes will be wide with amazement as you hear about all the astrological, geographical, and cultural details that are contained in that mural. With your mouth hanging open, you’ll wonder, “How did the Coahuiltecans figure all that out?”Big fun. Big, big fun.Princess Pennie has always possessed a superpower when it comes to selecting real estate, so in 2004 when she tracked down the owner of our land (he lived in South Africa, by the way,) and purchased it from him, I went along with it because she has always been right about that sort of thing.This Covid thing is getting tiresome, isn’t it?Like everyone else, Wizard Academy is getting squeezed pretty hard financially right now, but I’m not worried about it because I have undying confidence that we are here for a reason.Thank You for your part in helping this place to exist.Roy H. Williams

I lived in Muskogee, Oklahoma for 3 years before Merle Haggard released his hit song, “I’m Proud to be an Okie from Muskogee.” Even though I was only 12 at the time, I realized Brother Haggard’s song contained more corn than the whole state of Iowa.I laugh about being an Okie, but in truth, I am proud of the resourcefulness of my tribe. An Okie can build a rocket ship while he is flying it.Walk into any Oklahoma restaurant, church, or nightclub and choose 9 men at random. You will have within that group the ability to:weld every kind of metalrepair any motorized vehicle, electrical appliance, or mechanical devicethrow a rock and knock a bird out of the skybutcher a cow, pig, or deertell a story that will make you laugh, and sing a song that will make your crydig the footings, tie the rebar, pour a cement foundation, thenframe the house, install the plumbing and wiring, hang the sheetrock and the cabinets, install the fixtures, roof it, brick it, and sell it.And Okie girls are twice as resourceful as Okie boys.Okies learn their skills from family and friends because formal education takes too long and teaches too little. If you want to be a doctor or a lawyer, go to college. But if you just want to make some money, go do it. Don’t stand there like a whiner with your finger in your nose. Don’t fret like a little girl who is worried that Santa Claus doesn’t know her new address. And don’t count on getting a lucky break like some kind of wimpy-ass frat boy. Okies who wait for breaks go broke.An Okie’s lack of respect for college degrees occasionally has unintended consequences. I recently got an email from a friend in high school who said, “All these immunologists are saying one thing, but some of the guys we went to high school with are saying the opposite, so I don’t know who to believe…”When Pennie and I bought our first home in the little town of Broken Arrow, three additional rooms had been added to the original structure to make it a total of 800 square feet. It was built in “Indian Territory” in 1884, just 108 years after the colonies informed King George that his services would no longer be required.In 1744, when ­Thomas Jefferson was still in diapers, all of North America outside the 13 colonies was “Indian Territory.” So when a delegation from Virginia offered to provide a college education for a dozen Native American boys, Chief Canassatego replied,“We know you highly esteem the kind of learning taught in these colleges. And the maintenance of our young men, while with you, would be very expensive to you. We’re convinced, therefore, that you mean to do us good by your proposal, and we thank you heartily. But you who are so wise must know that different nations have different conceptions of things. And you will not, therefore, take it amiss if our ideas of this kind of education happen not to be the same with yours.”“We have had some experience of it. Several of our young people were formerly brought up in the colleges of the northern province. They were instructed in all your sciences. But when they came back to us, they were bad runners, ignorant of every means of living in the woods, unable to bear either cold or hunger, knew neither how to build a cabin, take a deer, or kill an enemy, spoke our language imperfectly, and therefore were neither fit for hunters, warriors, nor councilors. They were totally good for nothing.”“We are, however, not the less obliged for your kind offer, though we decline accepting. To show our grateful sense of it, if the gentlemen of Virginia shall send us a dozen of their sons, we would take great care in their education, instruct them in all we know, and make men of them.”Some people are street smart and some people are book smart.The thing to remember is that one does not negate the other.Roy H. Williams

When it is time to write an ad, and there is no felt need in the heart of the customer to which you can speak, make a paper cigar.Teddy Roosevelt was a man of improvisation. He knew his paper cigars. This allowed him to explain the process of making them in the fewest possible words: “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”The slow weeks before and after peak season are called the shoulder season.  People who can create ads that bring in business during the shoulder season are people you want on your team.Winter is peak season for heating. Summer is peak season for air conditioning. But how does an HVAC company keep its employees paid during the shoulder season, those weeks of mild weather in between?“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”Funny, isn’t it? Teddy gave us the answer before air conditioning was even invented.1Every HVAC company knows the answer to the shoulder season is to convince the public of the importance of routine maintenance. But that’s kind of like trying to convince people to shop early for Christmas. Everyone knows it’s a smart thing to do, but few people actually do it. As a result of our procrastination, we wait in long lines, choose from a picked-over selection and pay higher prices because we delayed our shopping – one day at a time – until December twenty-second and then flew into a blind panic.Air conditioning maintenance is like that. We delay it until the unit breaks down.When you need to sell a product or a service, and no one is feeling the need for that service, it’s time to make a paper cigar. But don’t rely on logic. Logic speaks to the mind of the customer. You’ve got to win the heart. And that takes wit and charm.Here is a hugely successful TV ad for the shoulder season that was produced by Casey Welch and Korey McDonald. 2SCENE ONETECH 1: Mr. Jenkins told me…TECH 2: When it starts getting warmer and you’re thinking about turning on that Air ConditionerTECH 3: [waving her palms in comic alarm] Don’t Do It! TECH 4: [wagging his finger sternly] Don’t Do It! SCENE TWOTECH 2:   A/C compressors get dried out during the winterTECH 1:  and they need to be brought into serviceTECH 2: [with palms held downward, he slowly lowers them to illustrate “gently”] gennnntly.SCENE THREECSR 1: For just 89 dollars, a Morris-Jenkins technician will wash the outside unit and bring it into service TECH 2: [palms downward, he slowly lowers them]  gennnntly.SCENE FOURTECH 1: And we promise NOT to disrupt your household.DEWEY:  We come and go [palms downward, he slowly lowers them] gennnntly.©Here’s an even-more-successful ad Casey and Korey produced the following year.SCENE ONE DEWEY: [takes a long step backward with one foot, and with a sweep of his arm reveals Techs standing behind him as he says] It’s that time again!TECHS: [Music begins playing. Technicians begin dancing.] It’s time for us to come-and-go gently, gently.It’s time for us to come-and-go gently, gently.Compressors-dry-out during wiiiiinter monthsAnd-need-to-be brought back [palms downward, they lower them] gennnntly.SCENE TWO [Working on an outside unit]TECH 1: For just 89 dollarsTECH 2: A Morris-Jenkins technician will wash your outside unitTECH 3: and bring it into serviceTECH 4: [palms downward, she slowly lowers them] gennnntly.TECH 3: [palms downward, he slowly lowers them] gennnntly.SCENE THREE DEWEY: Morris-Jenkins comes and goesALL TECHS: [singing in unison, with hand-motion] gently, gently ©When that TV ad aired in Charlotte, North Carolina, so many viewers wanted to see it again that it accumulated more than one million views on YouTube in less than 90 days.So now you’re wondering why this style of improvised entertainment is called, “Making a Paper Cigar.”When our oldest son, Rex, was in high school more than 20 years ago, he walked into class one day and realized, “Uh-oh, today is the day I’m supposed to present my term paper. What was the subject I was assigned?” He scratched his head a minute, then said, “Cuba. I’ve got to make a verbal presentation – with visual aids – on Cuba.”Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.He looked around and saw a few sheets of paper with some magic markers, so he rolled the paper into a cigar-sized cylinder, taped it, then colored it brown with a red tip. He wrote a couple of pages about sugar, cigars, and Fidel Castro, and when his name was called, strode to the front of the room with his cigar in his mouth and told the story of Cuba as Groucho Marx or W.C. Fields might have done.The teacher gave him an A+ and led the class in a round of applause.Entertainment is the only currency with which you can purchase the attention of a disinterested public.Rex made a little bronze gargoyle to

The generation of male Okies to which I belong has the inexplicable tradition of mercilessly teasing their friends. It’s a dumb tradition, I know, but these are the rules:We tease only our closest friends. To say to strangers the sorts of things that we say to our friends would be to invite a fistfight.The more outrageous and unfounded the accusation, the funnier it is.We never tease by saying things that could possibly be perceived as the truth. In other words, if you believe what you are saying might contain a grain of truth – even a tiny bit – you are no longer being funny; you’re being a bully and a jerk.My friend Ken owns a big plumbing company in another state. So when he sent me a cell phone video of his new $7,000 toilet, I began to pound on him relentlessly about what that toilet said about him as a man. That high-tech toilet became the fulcrum of a playground teeter-totter onto which I could jump when he least expected it and send him flying topsy-turvy into the air.There’s just nowhere to hide when your friends can ask you about your fancy toilet at the most unexpected moments and in the most unexpected ways.One day there was a knock at the door. “Are you Roy Williams?”“Yes,”“Sign here.”Uh-oh. Ken had sent me a fancy toilet of my own. Before I could hide it, Pennie saw it and liked it. “But it’s way too nice for this house,” she said.“Are you saying this house isn’t worthy of a toilet like that?”She looked at me and nodded. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”Friends, you just can’t imagine the kinds of upgrades that are required when you have been gifted a fancy toilet.I was reminded of the story of an ancient King of Siam who would give white elephants as a passive-aggressive gift to anyone who displeased him. White elephants are rare and were considered sacred in Siam, so people were required to treat them with special care and feed them expensive food and never use them for work. The gift of a white elephant imposed a huge financial burden on the person who received one and of course you could never sell the elephant, lest you appear ungrateful.Yep, what I had me here was a white elephant.I’ve never ridden the elephant because, frankly, it frightens me.I always explain to guests who want to ride my white elephant that they must approach it with reverence when they journey to present themselves before it. The elephant will then kneel to allow them aboard as the music of angels wafts through the room and a strange light begins to glow.I promise I’m not making any of this up.My friend Manley Miller once stayed up all night playing with the remote so that he could learn all of the elephant’s tricks. When Manley told Pennie and I about his escapades with the elephant the next morning, I realized that my friend Ken had beat me at my own game.Evidently, Ken grew up in a state where young boys know how to jump on the teeter-totter, too.Roy H. Williams

When James Madison drafted the First Amendment, “the press” referred to the newspapers of our nation, such as the Pennsylvania Gazette owned by Benjamin Franklin, the most popular paper in the 13 colonies.Things rocked along swimmingly for about 200 years, then one day we walked outside to get the newspaper, sat down to read it, and realized it was yesterday’s news.Welcome to the 21st Century, where your telephone is also your newspaper, TV, encyclopedia, magazine, restaurant menu, instruction manual, shopping mall, worldwide map, and phone book.The computer chip gave us the internet, an unregulated realm where irresponsible people are free to spray false reports, fabricated data, and doctored photos across our society like a flamethrower washing over a field of dry grass.Presto, the world is on fire.I believe that people are entitled to their own opinions, but not their own facts.When I was a younger man, television and radio newscasts were trustworthy places to gather reliable facts, even when the presentation of those facts was slanted by the opinion of the reporter.News directors took their guardianship of journalistic integrity seriously, as did most of the rank-and-file reporters. But their collective consciences and good intentions were not what kept us safe.The people of the United States own the airwaves of our nation.Regulating the access to those airwaves began with the Radio Act of 1912, later to be replaced by the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) in 1934.For most of the 20th century, America had safeguards that made television and radio news reliable, but in the 9 years between 1987, the 7th year of the Reagan presidency, and 1996, the 4th year of the Clinton presidency, those safeguards were quietly dismantled.Let’s take a look at the most important ones:1. The Fairness Doctrine: Introduced in 1949, the Fairness Doctrine required broadcasters to present controversial issues of public importance and to do so in a manner that was honest, equitable, and balanced. If you failed to serve the public in this way, you could lose your license to broadcast.Broadcasters hated the Fairness Doctrine, of course, because it was a pain in the ass.In 1987, Edward O. Fritts, president of the National Assn. of Broadcasters, argued that “broadcasters believe in fairness” and that the Fairness Doctrine was “unconstitutional and an infringement on free speech. It is an intrusion into broadcasters’ journalistic judgment.” President Reagan agreed and issued an executive order.Poof… No more Fairness Doctrine.TV and radio stations were now free to slant the news as aggressively as they wanted.2. Ownership Limits: In 1927, we began to worry about what might happen if too few people controlled the news. Consequently, no one was allowed to own more than three TV stations nationwide. That number was increased to five stations in 1944, then the 7-7-7 rule of 1953 said no one could own more than 7 TV stations, 7 FM radio stations and 7 AM radio stations. In 1985, 7-7-7 became 12-12-12.Then in 1996, the FCC eliminated all limits on radio stations, and said you could own as many TV stations as you wanted as long as those TV stations were collectively reaching no more than 35% of the national audience. As a result, truckloads of investor dollars were gathered and broadcast “consolidation” began.Then in 2002, the 5-member FCC voted 3-2 along party lines (3 Republicans, 2 Democrats) to throw out the national audience limit.Bingo… If you could put together enough money, you could now control the news.American newscasters were no longer required to serve the public interest, or to present both sides of an issue, or even to tell the truth.So for the past 18 years we’ve been surrounded by flamethrowers on every side.I’m sure glad it hasn’t resulted in a polarized population.Roy H. Williams

Two weeks ago, I appeared onscreen during a business symposium in Montreal to answer a series of questions about, “How to Advertise Effectively.”Toward the end of my hour with them, a person in the audience asked, “What do you consider to be the top 3 books about Advertising?” The moderator smiled and said, “I can answer that,” and held up copies of The Wizard of Ads, Secret Formulas of the Wizard of Ads, and Magical Worlds of the Wizard of Ads.The audience laughed.I smiled and shook my head, “no.”“Number one is Marketing Outrageously by Jon Spoelstra. Number two is The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing by Al Ries and Jack Trout. Number three is Ogilvy on Advertising.”The audience went silent as everyone wrote those titles down.Prior to the publication of Jon Spoelstra’s book in 2001, my recommended reading list contained only two books. But I discovered a kindred spirit in Jon Spoelstra. Even better than that, the thing Jon does best is the very thing I try to avoid.Let’s take a look at the similarities and differences between Jon and me.Similarities: Jon and I agree that it is your message, not the media, that determines your success or failure. Likewise, we agree on the vital importance of avoiding the predictable by employing the new, the surprising, and the different. Thirdly, we both appreciate the role of intuition and agree that, loosely speaking, rules are for fools.Difference: Jon enjoys making big things happen fast, I do not.* When your back is against the wall and time is of the essence, Jon is the man to call.On numerous occasions, Jon has generously agreed to teach at Wizard Academy and he’s always done it for free. But now he needs something from you and me.Don’t worry. Like all of Jon’s offers, this one is irresistible: Jon has a new book coming out next month and he’s giving each of us an immediate download of it in exchange for our promise to post a book review on Amazon. You can say whatever you like in the book review. The goal is for Jon to have at least 100 reviews posted on the day his book is officially launched.100 Amazon reviews sounds like it would be easy to accomplish, right? Trust me, it’s not.Are you in?Here’s where to begin.Roy H. Williams*Although I understand how to make big things happen fast, I find the anxiousness of it to be exhausting. Adrenaline is not my friend. It gives most people an energizing rush of excitement, (flight,) but in me it triggers only the rage of combat, (fight.) Consequently, I avoid clients who need an immediate miracle. This is undoubtedly selfish of me, but hey, I’m self-indulgent. You already knew that, right? – RHW

You’ve heard it all your life: “Anything worth doing, is worth doing well.”This seems to be a worthy admonition on the surface. But let’s not stop at the surface. Let’s look into the heart of it.Those seven words, “Anything worth doing, is worth doing well,” assume that one has the ability to do the thing well. But what if you don’t have that ability? Is it okay to do it badly at first?I gathered some essays and photos in 1997, then paid a printer to print 7,500 copies of a little homemade book. The title was ill-conceived, the cover was ridiculous, and my layout failed to anticipate the binding, so the text was tucked too far into the spine. You had to pull the cheeks apart and look down into the crack to read it.Is it okay that I did a bad job on that first book?Is it okay that I continue to love that quirky little puppy even if it never sold a copy?My second book became the #1 business book in America according to the Wall Street Journal, and my third book was a New York Times bestseller, then my wife and I spent the next 20 years building a school for misfit and maverick entrepreneurs, those innovators and improvisers, renegades and rebels who are suspicious of traditional wisdom.I have never worn the handcuffs of Perfectionism or Conformity and I do not recommend them to you. Wearing them too tightly causes analysis paralysis: that paralyzing fear of failure.When a person who is facing a big challenge begins to share their performance anxieties with me, I always grab them by their shoulders, look deep into their eyes and say with all the love I can muster, “Just shut up and do it.”Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.If you are not willing to golf badly at first, you are never going to be a great golfer.If you are not willing to write badly at first, you are never going to be a great writer.If you are not willing to cook badly at first, you are never going to be a great chef.One of the things I do each day is get dressed. But no one has ever accused me of doing it well. Putting on clothes is definitely worth doing. I just don’t believe it’s worth doing well. Looking rumpled and unsuccessful is my natural condition because I’ve seen the time and effort it takes to look crisp and sharp, and frankly, I don’t feel it’s worth it. At least not for me.Julie DeMille was stressing out about finding two socks that matched when the absurdity of the moment slapped her in the face. So she decided to adopt a sock motto: “If you can’t find a mate, find a friend.”I think Julie DeMille might be my brand of crazy.Are you my brand of crazy? If so, let me, as your older brother, offer you some encouragement and advice:Good decisions come from experience.Experience comes from bad decisions.You will feel guilty from time to time and that can be good.Feelings of guilt will cause you to make changes you need to make.But I pray that you never become ashamed.Guilt is about what you have done.Shame is about who you are.Perfectionists will come into your life and say that you have “real potential” and that you could be just like they are – crisp and prompt, well-groomed and with good posture – if only you pushed yourself a little harder. They will tell you to repent from your heresy of being happy and contented and say, “No pain, no gain,” as though they are quoting holy scripture.I’ve looked: it’s not in the Bible.These same people will tell you that should never be satisfied. They will lift their chins and proudly say, “Good enough, never is.”That’s not in the Bible, either. But if you read the musical, magical parts of the Bible – I suggest the gospel of John – you will look at yourself in the mirror and smile and say, “Good enough! God likes me just as I am.”Can I, as your older brother, offer you three suggestions?1: Wherever you go, accept people as they are and try to have a good time.2: Whatever you do, do it wholeheartedly and with gusto! And let the outcome be what it is.3: To speak with God, to accept yourself and be content, is the greatest possible wealth.And that, by the way, is in the Bible.Roy H. Williams

The junkyard dogs of the business community are those misfits and mavericks, renegades and rebels, innovators and improvisors who know that traditional wisdom is often more tradition than wisdom.Lee Iacocca was a junkyard dog.The son of an immigrant hot-dog vendor, Iacocca was the visionary who gave us the Ford Mustang. He was later fired by Henry Ford II, a showdog, because Henry II said he didn’t want Iacocca to become CEO. Aware that the time for his own retirement was approaching, Henry II made it clear that he wanted to turn the company over to his son Edsel II, then just 28.After being fired, Iacocca cheerfully went to work at Chrysler where he rescued that company from extinction by inventing the minivan. Later, when he told Chrysler’s head of engineering that he needed a prototype LeBaron convertible to use in a TV ad, the showdog engineer told him how many months it would take to design one. A true dog of the junkyard, Iacocca smiled and said, “Just get a LeBaron and cut the top off. I need it tomorrow.”Focused on the outcome rather than the process, junkyard dogs are always messy.Junkyard dogs worry about accomplishment.Showdogs worry about appearances.When the weather is calm and the water is smooth, the showdog owns the horizon. But when the storm is upon you and people are about to die, you want a junkyard dog at the helm.In 1962, 16-year-old Miguel fled Cuba wearing a jacket his mother had hand-stitched from cleaning rags. He arrived alone in America. “Hamburger” was his only English word. Five years later Miguel married a teenage mother and adopted her 3-year-old son, little Jeffrey Jorgensen. Miguel gave Jeffrey the skill and confidence to survive and thrive. He also gave Jeffrey his proud Cuban name: Bezos. When Junkyard Jeffrey was 30, he borrowed money from friends and family to start a business in the garage of his rented home. He named that business after the largest river in South America. Perhaps you’ve heard of it.As a boy, one of Jeffrey’s heroes was Walt Disney, the fourth of five children in a family so poor that two of his older brothers, sick of the constant work and poverty, ran away when Walt was just 4 years old. When Walt was 16, he tried to join the Navy so that he could serve in WWI but was turned down because of his age. He then tried unsuccessfully to join the Canadian Armed Forces. Finally, he was accepted as a Red Cross ambulance driver.Walt did not have an impressive résumé. Junkyard dogs rarely do.When the war was over, Disney’s first company, Laugh-O-Gram, went bankrupt in Kansas City, so he moved to Hollywood where his first animated series, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, was a big success. Disney lost the rights to that character when his distributor cheated him. So Walt, ever the junkyard dog, started working on another animated character, a mouse. Perhaps you’ve heard of him, too.Disney Studios went on to make Lady and the Tramp, a movie about a showdog princess who falls in love with a junkyard dog. And then they made The Aristocats, a movie about an alley cat named O’Malley who rescues a housecat named Duchess who then falls in love with him. And when we saw The Rescuers a few years later, we all fell in love with a little junkyard girl named Penny when she stood up to the alligators of Madame Medusa.Now that I think about it, has there ever been a successful Disney film that didn’t give us a misfit, junkyard dog to cheer for?For the record, (and I quite literally mean “the record,”) no individual has ever received as many Academy Awards as Walt Disney. In fact, no other person has ever been nominated for as many.I began contemplating today’s memo when I paused the movie, Public Enemies, to transcribe a bit of dialogue between J. Edgar Hoover, that little showdog director of the FBI, and Melvin Purvis, his golden-boy agent who was tasked with bringing the murderous bank robber, John Dillinger, to justice, dead or alive. After Purvis fails repeatedly, he calls J. Edgar Hoover.Hoover: “John Dillinger held up a bank for $74,000 while you failed to arrest (Babyface) Nelson.”Melvin Purvis: “Sir, I take full responsibility. Now, I would like to make a request that we transfer men with special qualifications to augment the staff here in Chicago. There are some former Texas and Oklahoma lawmen currently with the bureau in Dallas.”Hoover: “I thought you understood what I am building; a modern force of professional young men of the best sort.”Melvin Purvis: “I’m afraid our type cannot get the job done.”Hoover: “Excuse me, I cannot hear you.”Purvis: “Our type cannot get the job done.”Hoover: “I cannot hear you.”Melvin Purvis: “Our type cannot get the job done. Without qualified help, I will have to resign this appointment. Otherwise, I’m leading my men to slaughter.”Furious, Hoover sends Charles Winstead (Stephen Lang) a junkyard FBI agent to help Purvis locate and ass

The beagle who lives in the right hemisphere of your brain has an entirely different set of skills than the nerd who lives next door.The beagle in my brain is named Indy. What is the name of the beagle in yours?Your beagle gives you impulsive intuition and instinctive insight. Your beagle gives you romping recklessness, gut feelings and hunches.Your beagle has a bitterly sharp, piercingly beautiful sense of global pattern recognition which triggers the occasional premonition.Poindexter is the nerd who lives in the other half of my brain. He is forever having to push his glasses back onto his nose.What is the name of the nerd in yours?Poindexter uses Google.Indy uses Giggle.My Poindexter is a friend of Mr. Peabody, the smartest person in the world. Do you remember Mr. Peabody and his adopted son, Sherman, from the Rocky and Bullwinkle show? If not, Indy has a video on page 4 of the rabbit hole that will joggle your memory.The interesting thing about Sherman and Mr. Peabody is that Jay Ward reversed their roles. It is the human, Sherman, who is naïve about science, and Peabody, the beagle, that is the uptight nerd who leans on cold deductive reasoning.Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Cold deductive reasoning has its place, but the golden fire of inspiration and the money-green glow of innovation come from that piercingly beautiful sense of pattern recognition that sees the relationships between all the parts.Your intuitive beagle sees what is and isn’t there. And it sees what could be added or left out to make a thing more elegant and beautiful. This fabulous pattern-recognizing beagle lives in the wordless right hemisphere of your brain and it notices more than just visual patterns. It notices patterns of behavior, patterns of history, patterns of music and speech. And it recognizes the shapes of problems and the shapes of their solutions. Shapes are merely patterns. This is why jigsaw puzzles are calisthenics for your beagle. The shapes of the pieces and their patterns of color and the position of each piece on the table as you begin is pattern, times pattern, times pattern, times the number of pieces in the box. (Ray Bard, that was for you.)Your right-brain beagle is the heart and soul of inspiration and innovation, and its only food is play. Reckless, intuitive wandering, that artistic, purposeful wasting of time, that thing you do because you want to, not because you have to. Play is what recharges your batteries. What, for you, is the highest form of play?More importantly, how long has it been since you’ve done it?Go. There you will find your answer.Roy H. Williams

The Genius of What Isn’t ThereJune 1, 2020ListenAThree friends, who have never met each other, all sent me the same advice last week.What makes this convergence particularly interesting is that there was no common trigger. Each of the three messages I received was prompted by something different.The essence of those messages?You’ve got to leave things out.Genius is rarely about what is there.Genius is about what isn’t there.David Freeman is a world-famous coach of fictional character construction. His credentials and accomplishments are staggering. David read in my memo of May 18 that, “I am finally writing that screenplay I’ve been thinking and talking about for 15 years. It’s a buddy movie about a guy with 12 friends. I plan to shoot it in New Orleans next year.” So he sent me an email from Hollywood.“If you’re going to have 12 characters, the traditional wisdom is that 1, 2, 3, 4, and maybe 5 should be far more primary the others. The more characters we’re supposed to know and care about, the less emotion the audience feels because we can’t get deeply invested in any one character if our attention is split between too many. Characters require screen time for us to get emotionally involved with them. The more major characters, the less screen time for each.”According to David, a screenwriter has to choose which characters get fully realized. The others are effectively left out.Stephen Semple is a lifelong student of the sales process. He studies every aspect of persuasion, from advertising to lead generation to product demonstrations to sales presentations. Stephen wrote to me about how reading the transcripts of his Zoom conferences taught him how people speak differently than they write.“We repeat words, finish other people’s sentences, and forget about grammar.”According to Stephen, when highly engaged in an inspired conversation, we leave out much of what we would have written.Tom Grimes is a scholar, a thinker, a philosopher and a friend, and the President Plenipotentiary of the Worldwide Worthless Bastards. Tom owns a booming business, but he is always available to take your phone call or respond to your email. So I asked him what he does all day.Tom replied,“Famous ‘leaders’ are often very noisy people… or they were dealing with a crisis. We sometimes think leadership is about dealing with the aftermath when the sh#t hits the fan. We fail to appreciate that the real objective is to never let the sh#t hit the fan in the first place.One time I was at the water treatment facility of a large manufacturing plant. The place was eerily quiet. When I made the observation that it looked like the staff was doing next to nothing, the head operator explained that the secret to running a facility like his was a stringent Preventive Maintenance program. He said that if you see people running around it meant there was a problem. And the objective of the maintenance team was to prevent problems before they became problems. A quiet place was the sign of a well-run operation.”According to Tom, the secret of being a great leader is to leave out the emergencies.When asked the secret of writing bestselling novels, Elmore Leonard said, “I leave out the parts that people skip.”Impressionistic painters leave out the details, requiring us to supply them from our storehouses of imagination.Talented photographers leave out sections of what they photograph, requiring us to imagine the parts that extend beyond the framelines.When writing ads, if you try to appeal to everyone, you will appeal to no one. You’ve got to choose who to lose.Indy Beagle has some great examples of this in the rabbit hole.He suggests that you hurry. The rabbit is afoot.The adventure has begun.Roy H. Williams

Jaguars and leopards are classified as “Big Cats” (Pantherinae) because they have a U-shaped hyoid apparatus in their throats which gives them the ability to roar. Cheetahs and pumas are just as big as jaguars and leopards, but they are classified as “Small Cats” (Felinae) because their ossified hyoid bones prohibit them from roaring.Among cats, it is your voice that determines your size.But dogs are not like cats. According to Indy Beagle, the size of a dog determines the depth of its voice. You never see a “Little Yapper Dog” (Yapperdus Petitae) with a deep voice, and you never see a “Working Dog” (Woofus Grande) with a squeaky voice.Among dogs, it is your size that determines your voice.But when it comes to people, all of that goes out the window. Big people can have little voices and little people can have big voices.Among people, it is your voice that determines your voice.In review:Among cats, it is your voice that determines your size.Among dogs, it is your size that determines your voice.Among people, it is your voice that determines your voice.But what about books? What determines the voice of a book?In non-fiction writing, “the voice of the book” is essentially the style of the narrator. It is the way the author likes to phrase things. It is syntax, diction, punctuation and vocabulary, as well as the manner in which knowledge is revealed to the reader. The author’s own voice will inform the voice of the book, indicating angle of view, philosophical bent, pride of education, religiosity, rurality, intimacy, mastery, academia, bureaucracy, condescension, insecurity, simple-mindedness, bitterness, mental illness, and wit, or lack thereof.Similes, metaphors, and examples are the literary devices that give us the greatest insight into an author, showing us how he or she sees the world.The voice of a fiction book is a composite of the voices of all its characters, evidenced through their words, actions, and thought patterns.Unlike non-fiction, the narrator’s voice in fiction is often just another created character, giving us little, if any, insight into the mind of the author.Let’s circle back to the voices of people for a moment.Psychiatrists tell us there are four kinds of people who live in fictional, inner worlds.Narcissists tell themselves and others that everyone loves them even though they do not. They want to believe it and so they say it.Pathological liars believe their own lies and will recreate their internal realities to accommodate those lies.Sociopaths and psychopaths never exhibit remorse after lying or hurting others because they are extremely egocentric and lack empathy. The difference between the two is that sociopaths are made but psychopaths are born.Last week I wrote to you about the intense disagreements that can occur when two opposing truths come into conflict.But not all conflict is about truth.“It used to be that your character and your beliefs were what made people look up to you. But now it’s about whether you have a Rolex, a big house, and a Jag in the driveway.”A smiling executive from a prominent advertising agency made that statement to eight of us sitting in a conference room in west Tulsa in 1982. I’ve never forgotten that moment, that statement, or his face, because I was jarred by the fact that he said it in celebration, rather than remorse.The “Me” generation would reach its zenith the following year.I rarely write to you while I am still in the process of distilling my thoughts, but for some reason I decided this week that I would share all the little things that are tumbling around in my mind like socks in the dryer and let you sort those socks into pairs on your own.[If you have been reading carefully, right now you are recalling what I said earlier about how, “Similes, metaphors, and examples are the literary devices that give us the greatest insight into an author, showing us how he or she sees the world.” But to be honest, I’m not entirely sure what this socks-in-the-dryer simile might indicate about me.]John Steinbeck was born one year before the zenith of the previous “Me” generation, so he saw it slowly decline from that zenith as he grew up. Late in his life, John wrote to a close friend,“Do you remember two kinds of Christmases? There is one kind in a house where there is little and a present represents not only love but sacrifice. The one single package is opened with a kind of slow wonder, almost reverence. Once I gave my youngest boy, who loves all living things, a dwarf, peach-faced parrot for Christmas. He removed the paper and then retreated a little shyly and looked at the little bird for a long time. And finally he said in a whisper, ‘Now who would have ever thought that I would have a peach-faced parrot?'””Then there is the kind of Christmas with presents piled high, the gifts of guilty parents as bribes because they have nothing else to give. The wrappings are ri

Q: What do Jesus and the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus have in common?A: Grown-ups told us stories about them when we were children.And then one day we realized the grown-ups had been lying. Yes, they did it because they loved us and they wanted us to be happy, but that didn’t change the fact that they were lying.Some of us were able to separate the stories about Jesus from the stories about the other three, but not all of us. I, myself, continue to believe in Jesus. I choose to believe, “…we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.” (1st John 4:14)But many of my closest friends choose not to believe and I understand that choice. Belief is not rational.But I’m not writing to you today to tell you about my belief in Jesus. I’m writing to talk to you about the difference between your heart and your mind.Your belief in your team is not supported by science. It supported by facts you have chosen to believe, but there are just as many facts that would indicate your team doesn’t have a chance. It doesn’t matter whether your team is the Red State team, the Blue State team, the Chicago White Sox or the Green Bay Packers, each of us chooses the facts to which we cling.But mostly we choose a perspective, a way of looking at things, an angle of view.Belief is not rational, it is heart-felt. Belief is not logical, it is intuitive. But that doesn’t mean it is wrong.Albert’s intuition told him that the energy contained in an object was equal to its mass times the speed of light, times the speed of light. Son-of-a-bitch! He was right! E=MC2 has been demonstrated to be an incontrovertible truth.But not all truth is incontrovertible.Do you believe in love and democracy and patriotism and the American Dream? So do I, but these beliefs are not supported by science. They are supported by selected facts and a ferociously guarded perspective that has been handed down from generation to generation for hundreds of years.Love and Democracy and Patriotism and the American Dream are not science, they are a cultural perspective, a way of looking at things, an angle of view that you and I have chosen.Justice and Mercy are not science, they are two different perspectives. And they often come into conflict.Honesty and Loyalty are not science, they are two different perspectives. And they often come into conflict.Freedom and Responsibility are not science, they are two different perspectives. And they often come into conflict.The voice of Freedom shouts to my mind, “It’s my life, and I can do with it what I choose.”But the voice of Responsibility whispers to my heart, “I should be careful, not for myself, but for all the people I care about, and who care about me.”Explosive issues can always be found at the intersection of two perspectives.I suppose the reason I have these things on my mind right now is because I am finally writing that screenplay that I’ve been thinking and talking about for 15 years.It’s a buddy movie about a guy with 12 friends. I plan to shoot it in New Orleans next year.Roy H. Williams

Admiral Boulevard is the margin of the page in Tulsa.It is that place where a person can do well while doing no good. It is where discipline encounters temptation and good fortune meets bad luck. Admiral Boulevard is the margin Johnny Cash sings about in “I Walk the Line.”The Outsiders – both the book and the movie – take place along Admiral Boulevard. The book has sold more than 14 million copies making it the bestselling young adult novel of all time. Susie Hinton was a junior at Will Rogers High School just 5 blocks south of Admiral Boulevard when she wrote it. She was given a D in creative writing that year.Admiral Boulevard is bordered on the east by the Mingo traffic circle and on the west by the tragic Greenwood District. The six miles between those bookends is what I once described as “the neighborhood of Ponyboy Curtis, an unfiltered assortment of bent automobiles, broken houses and discarded people.”Susie encountered hostility when her book was released in 1967. She says, “I think the first hostile reaction was to the idea that not all teens were living in a ’50s sitcom. People know better nowadays.”Susie is just 9 years older than me, so we know some of the same people. We all grew up with one thing in common; those little teeth nipping at our heels wasn’t a puppy, it was poverty.The once-rich and influential Greenwood District of Tulsa was known as “Black Wall Street” in the years following the presidency of Teddy Roosevelt, but on May 31, 1921, a white mob set fire to hundreds of black-owned businesses and homes, killing 300 Americans and leaving more than 10,000 homeless.Forty square blocks were smoldering when the sun came up the next morning.No one was prosecuted.Susie’s book is about life on the margin of that page in history forty-five years later. The Outsiders is about the tensions between country-club whites and those paycheck-to-paycheck whites like Susie and me.Francis Ford Coppola won the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay in 1970 for Patton, and two years later he won three more Oscars for The Godfather. Then he discovered Susie’s book, turned it into a screenplay, gathered up some no-name kids and gave them a chance to become superstars.Tom Cruise, Rob Lowe, Patrick Swayze, Diane Lane, Matt Dillon, Ralph Macchio, Emilio Estevez, and C. Thomas Howell were barely more than children when they made The Outsiders in 1983.Two years later we saw The Breakfast Club, and the following year, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.The Outsiders served as a launchpad for a number of careers and a whole new genre of movies. The ripple effect of a well-told story is staggering.You have a story.Your business has a story.And your future is a story yet to be written.Very soon Daniel Whittington will announce The Ad Writers Masters Class on behalf of the American Small Business Institute. This will be be your chance to write an altogether different future for yourself and the people you love.My thoughts about Susie Hinton and The Outsiders were triggered by something written by Mike Dooley:“The one thing all famous authors, world class athletes, business tycoons, singers, actors, and celebrated achievers in any field have in common is that they all began their journeys when they were none of these things.”Have a golden week.Roy H. Williams

Bart Giamatti was a professor of English Renaissance literature, the president of Yale University, and the Commissioner of Major League Baseball. In less than 3 minutes, Giamatti caused me to understand “home” in a new way. I believe his thoughts on the subject are profoundly insightful.“There is no great, long poem about baseball. It may be that baseball is itself its own great, long poem. This had occurred to me in the course of my wondering why home plate wasn’t called fourth base. And then this came to me, ‘Why not? Meditate on the name, for a moment, ‘home.’’“Home is an English word virtually impossible to translate into other tongues. No translation catches the associations, the mixture of memory and longing, the sense of security and autonomy and accessibility, the aroma of inclusiveness, of freedom from wariness that cling to the word ‘home’ and are absent from ‘house’ or even ‘my house.’ Home is a concept, not a place; it’s a state of mind where self-definition starts. It is origins, a mix of time and place and smell and weather wherein one first realizes one is an original; perhaps like others, especially those one loves; but discreet, distinct, not to be copied. Home is where one first learned to be separate, and it remains in the mind as the place where reunion, if it were ever to occur, would happen.”“All literary romance, all romance epic, derives from The Odyssey and it is about going home. It’s about rejoining; rejoining a beloved, rejoining parent to child, rejoining a land to its rightful owner or rule. Romance is about putting things aright after some tragedy has put them asunder. It is about restoration of the right relations among things. And ‘going home’ is where that restoration occurs, because that’s where it matters most. Baseball is, of course, entirely about going home. And to that extent – and because it’s the only game you ever heard of – where you want to get back to where you started. All the other games are territorial; you want to get his or her territory. But not baseball. Baseball simply wants to get you from here… back around to here.”Bart Giamatti was 20 years older than me.For most of my life, I thought of wisdom as always coming from people older than me. But these days, there aren’t that many people older than me. AIn recent years, I’ve been learning from younger men.I believe my young friend, Shawn Craig Smith, may understand romance epic as well as did Bart Giamatti. In class at Wizard Academy, Shawn wrote, “Prometheus gave man fire, but the power every one of us carries each day, heartbeat by heartbeat, is his story. Come to the circle, bring your spark. We can live as men without fire, but without story, without art, we freeze alone in the cold white waste.”Jonathan Berman travels a lot. He taught me, “Home is not a place, but a feeling of wholeness and contentment you can take with you wherever you go.”Jeff Sexton taught me that not every ad writer gathers all the information and then figures out what parts of it to use and how to organize those parts. Jeff made me understand that lots of great ad writers have a template in mind, and then they search for the information that will satisfy that template.My son Rex taught me that “discovery content” brings new people into contact with your YouTube channel, your blog or other online body of work, and “community content” keeps them coming back again and again after they have discovered you.My son Jacob showed me that people will like and respect you when it becomes obvious that your hard work and attention-to-detail is for their benefit, not yours.Tucker Max taught me that a person can benefit from your experience when you tell them (1.) what happened, (2.) how it made you feel, and (3.) what you learned from it.Tim Miles took the time to tell my son Jacob what a great job he was doing. When I felt ashamed for not having already done it myself, I learned, “No matter how busy you are, when you notice that someone is doing a great job, always take the time to tell them so.”Daniel Whittington, the chancellor of Wizard Academy, taught me how to be funny at the expense of no other person.Joe Davis showed me how to take everything in stride and maintain my composure when troubles are stacking up like firewood.Zac Smith, vice-chancellor of Wizard Academy, showed me the power of passing good things forward so that our students know that we see them, we hear them, and we miss them when they are gone.Ryan Deiss taught me how to trim sprawling ideas onto a manageable template, “then when the student masters the template, they can throw it away and venture beyond its boundaries.”Chris Maddock showed me how the most powerful teaching is to give students personalized feedback about each of their attempts to do what you previously explained.Manley Miller taught me how to turn a small circle of followers into a

A few years ago, Yvon Chouinard was asked, “How do you know if you’re making the right move?He said, “It’s a lot of gut instinct. If you study something to death, if you wait for the customer to tell you what he wants, you’re going to be too late, especially for an entrepreneurial company. That comes from Henry Ford: Customers didn’t want a Model T, they wanted a faster horse.”The last time I checked, Yvon Chouinard’s Patagonia was debt-free and selling $575m per year. I like his track record.I bring up this question of “making the right move” because it’s exactly what every business owner wants to do right now. But how can we know what “the right move” is if we don’t have enough information?In the absence of a crystal ball, let’s begin with the assumption that this virus and the social upheaval that came with it aren’t going to go away all at once.Now let’s speculate about what things might look like in 7 months.It is Thanksgiving Day, 2020. People are still worried about a “second wave” of infections and the unemployment problem hasn’t entirely disappeared, either.Seven months from now when you look back at this moment, what will you be thankful you decided to do TODAY?I’m trying to say… No, what I’m shouting is, “Now is the time for you to tweak your business model.”You and I and everyone else (except maybe Chick-fil-A) is effectively out-of-business because the underlying assumptions that sustained our business models are no longer true. This isn’t just “a moment” that will soon pass, it is a season that will be with us for a number of months, at least.You didn’t want to hear that, and I didn’t want to say it. But it is precisely what you need to hear right now if you’re going to look back in 7 months and be glad of the decisions you made.We are in the early stages of a once-in-a-lifetime change of fortune, and fortunes. This is when the big fish quit eating the small fish. This is when the fast fish eat the slow.If your plan is to “wait it out until everything gets back to normal,” you are in danger of being the slow fish.You’ve got to make it easier for your customer to do business with you. Think big but start small. Start with something you can do TODAY.I have a friend who owns a jewelry store in a town of about 115,000 people. When his state went into lockdown mode, the other 8 jewelry stores sent their people home to “wait it out.” But my friend decided to answer the phone each day, just in case a customer had a need that couldn’t wait until things were “back to normal.” He was laughing when he called me a couple of days ago. “Roy, I’ve sold 4 engagement rings in the past 5 days because of this new, high-tech thing I’m doing called ‘answering the phone.’”WOW 1 DAY PAINTING is one of the new international franchises of Brian Scudamore, the founder of 1-800-GOT-JUNK, the largest privately-owned junk removal service on earth. Prior to the public becoming concerned about Covid-19, WOW 1-DAY PAINTING was doing more interior painting than exterior. It took Brian less than 48 hours to create and distribute a new radio ad for all his franchise partners.James:  WOW 1 DAY PAINTINGBrian: can paint the exterior of your houseJames:  in just [pause] 1 [pause] DAY.  [SFX Magic Sparkle]Brian:  Your next-door-neighbor will drive to the grocery store,James:  and when they get back, [SFX Magic Sparkle]Brian:  your house will be a whole different color!James: Seriously, we are THAT good.Brian:  We can give you a price during a live video chat.James:  You can even PAY over the phone!Brian:  WOW! [SFX Magic Sparkle]James:  1 DAY PAINTINGBrian:  is a precision teamJames:  of professional paintersBrian:  who planJames:  and prepareBrian:  Perfection.James:  Happy painters wearing uniforms!Brian:  Go to WOW 1 DAY dot comNext, WOW 1 DAY PAINTING is going to post all the thousands of available paint colors on their website. But that takes time. Offering to quote a price during a live video chat and allowing customers to pay over the phone are things they could do TODAY.When reinventing your business model, the most important thing to keep in mind is this:“If the Wizard of Ads was wrong, and this virus goes away all at once, and everything goes back to exactly how it used to be, will I still be glad I made the changes I made? Will I have moved my company forward by making it easier for customers to do business with us?”How can you tweak your business model to make it easier for your customer to do business with you? How much of it can you do TODAY? And be sure to do only those things that you should have already done. Take only those actions for which there is no downside in the future.The hardest thing you will ever do is trust y

Meats and vegetables are ordinary, but put them on a stick and it’s Shish Kabob.Frozen Kool-Aid is frozen Kool-Aid; put it on a stick and it’s a popsicle.A marshmallow is one thing, but a marshmallow on a stick means a campfire.A frankfurter is a weenie, but a frankfurter on a stick is a weenie roast.And what are hors d’oeuvres but little pieces of something-on-a-stick?And what is fondue?Put food on a stick and it becomes special. But that only works for food.How does a person become special?You become special by that which holds you captive.You become special when you fall into a gravitational pull.You become special when you orbit something important.A meteor is a rock on fire as it falls to the earth.We call it a shooting star.I have met a number of these.A comet is a slightly larger rock that comes within sight of our planet.Think of it as a meteor on tour.Comets are the definition of fly-by-night.A moon is a planet that orbits a larger one.Moons are important and have names of their own.We write stories about moons and give them great respect.A planet orbits a star.A star is a celestial fire with powerful gravity.Planets and moons and comets orbit celestial fires.God is a fire.Science is a fire.Entertainment is a fire,including all the arts and every form of sport.On a much smaller scale, we see people as comets, moons, planets, and stars.In Wolf Hall, Hillary Mantel’s extraordinary book about the Renaissance, we witness the Tudor saga through the eyes of Thomas Cromwell, an ordinary man who chooses to orbit Cardinal Wolsey and soon becomes an important moon to that planet.Throughout the book, Cromwell’s advice to those he loves is “Arrange your face,” and “Choose your prince.”Cromwell’s advice could be phrased as two questions;“Who will you be?” and “Who will you follow?”An asteroid is a rock that has failed to choose a passion,so it wanders aimlessly in a cold, airless vacuum.A meteor is a rock on fire as it falls to the earth.We call it a shooting star.I have met a number of theseand seen them fall.Every meteor I have ever metthought it was a star.Roy H. Williams

Before we examine the blind spot, let’s stare into the face of the truth for a moment:People don’t bond with a company. People bond with a personality.Apple didn’t wait until they were category-dominant to develop a personality. They had personality in 1984 when they aired their famous SuperBowl ad. They had personality in 1997 when cultural icons in black-and-white photos encouraged us to “Think Different.” They had personality in 2003 when they sold iPods using only dancing silhouettes. And they had personality in 2006 when Justin Long and John Hodgman said, “I’m a Mac,” “And I’m a PC.”Steve Jobs died in 2011.The blind spot in most B2B companies is that they think it isn’t “corporate-ish” to have a personality. This is why B2B marketing is tedious, predictable, and boring.When amateur presenters are onstage, they look polished, professional, poised and plastic, don’t they?Experienced presenters feel spontaneous, extemporaneous, unfiltered and unguarded.Anyone who says, “But B2B is different,” is an amateur presenter.B2B marketers know that people are required to use different criteria when making choices at work than the criteria they use when making choices at home. At work, they’re not free to follow their instincts and “go with their gut.”I do not dispute this.B2B marketers know that when a business sells to a business, the buyer must gather information and make comparisons to defend their decision.I do not dispute this. But that doesn’t mean your advertising has to be plastic, pretentious, and predictable.The purpose of a photograph, illustration, or video thumbnail is to get the customer to read the subject line, headline, or listen to the opening line.The purpose of the opening line is to entice the customer to read the first line of body copy.The job of the first line of body copy is to cause the reader to keep reading, the listener to keep listening, and the viewer to keep viewing.The details the buyer will need to defend their purchase are contained in the body copy.Please don’t tell me you are required to use boring and predictable photographs, illustrations, and video thumbnails simply because your category is B2B.Please don’t tell me you are required to write plastic and pretentious headlines, subject lines and opening lines simply because your category is B2B.The details the buyer will need to defend their purchase are contained in the body copy.Job One is to gain attention and win the heart. This requires personality.Job Two is to deliver the details so that your customer can defend their decision to purchase from you.Job Three is to deposit your profits before they pile so high that you need a tractor to shift them.Now please, for the sake of your future, go write some B2B headlines, subject lines, and opening lines that have some personality.And once you have selected a personality, stick with it. Because this will become the defining characteristic that distinguishes you from your competitors.I’ve been needing to get that off my chest for 25 years.Thanks for listening.Roy H. Williams

The content of your heart is what your heart contains.Are you content? Same spelling, different meaning.We distinguish these words only by the syllable we stress.Words are amazing, don’t you think?If you are content, (satisfied, happy, at peace,) it is because of the content of your heart. If the content of your heart is anxiety, fear, envy and anger, it is difficult to be content.Who determines the content of your heart? Is it you?We can assume, I think, that the content of your heart will be whatever you have chosen to put in it.What have you put in it? Is there anything in there you might want to take out?Sadly, our success-driven culture considers a person who is content to be somehow deficient. We are supposed to be driven, never satisfied, always fighting for more, for better, for higher, am I right?But the golden carrot that is dangled before our donkey eyes is that we might someday be content.Oh, what a cruel master is that bastard with his carrot and his stick!Wait, the bastard is me.Roy H. Williams

We shall pass through this time of uncertainty and emerge as happier people.We will enjoy a renewed sense of the importance of relationships.Our priorities will be altered.Optimism is about staying focused on positive outcomes.I don’t know Andy Bounds but he’s a good friend of Doug Burdon and Doug is a friend of mine.According to Andy Bounds, Walt Disney stayed focused on positive outcomes. When asked if Disneyland could be built, everyone else said, “No, because…” but Walt would always answer, “Yes, if…”Yes, if we get someone else to pay for it.Yes, if we hire the world’s best experts to build it.Yes, if we locate it somewhere that’s hot all year.Yes, if we get transport links.Yes, if…How many questions could we be answering with “Yes, if…”?As I said, optimism is about staying focused on positive outcomes.But optimism isn’t the secret of happiness.The secret of happiness is learning to celebrate the ordinary.No one knew this better than Tom T. Hall.I love little baby ducks, old pick-up trucks, slow movin’ trains…And rain.I love little country streams, sleep without dreams, Sunday school in May…And hay.And I love you, too.I love leaves in the wind, pictures of my friends, birds of the world…And squirrels.I love coffee in a cup, little fuzzy pups, Bourbon in a glass…And grass.And I love you, too.I love honest open smiles, kisses from a child, tomatoes on the vine…And onions.I love winners when they cry, losers when they try, music when it’s good…And life.And I love you, too.How many ordinary things do you love?Wouldn’t this be a great time to celebrate them?Send your list to [email protected] along with a fun photo of yourself. The rabbit hole is a wonderful place to make your writing debut.I love lunch with my friends, wine without end, old travelogues…And dogs.I love castles in the sky, imagination when it flies, Pennie at the Prom…And Mom.And I love you, too.Roy H. Williams

NOTE FROM INDY BEAGLE – After the wizard recorded today’s MMMemo, he recorded a video called Advertising in a Time of Crisis. You should watch it. Now here is today’s memo…One of my heroes, John Steinbeck, twice followed in the footsteps of another of my heroes, Robert Louis Stevenson.Travels with a Donkey in the Cevennes is a travelogue written by RLS in 1878.The Sea of Cortez is the travelogue of Steinbeck about an ocean journey embarked upon with his friend Ed Ricketts, on whose life he based the character of “Doc” in Cannery Row. Steinbeck’s other travelogue is Travels with Charley, the diary of his final journey across America in 1962, when he knew he was dying.Travelogues are books without a plot, books whose only purpose is to celebrate the art of great writing.Here are a few of my favorite passages from each of those 3 books.“A faint wind, more like a moving coolness than a stream of air, passed down the glade from time to time; so that even in my great chamber the air was being renewed all night long… I have not often enjoyed a more serene possession of myself, nor felt more independent of material aids. The outer world, from which we cower into our houses, seemed after all a gentle and habitable place; and night after night a man’s bed, it seemed, was laid and waiting for him in the fields, where God keeps an open house.”– Travels with a Donkey in the Cevennes, p. 90 – 91“Ten minutes after, the sunlight spread at a gallop along the hillside, scattering shadows and sparkles, and the day had come completely. I hastened to prepare my pack, and tackle the steep ascent that lay before me; but I had something on my mind. It was only a fancy; but a fancy will sometimes be importunate. I had been most hospitably received and punctually served in my green caravanserai. The room was airy, the water excellent, and the dawn had called me to a moment. I say nothing of the tapestries or the inimitable ceiling, nor yet of the view which I commanded from the windows; but I felt I was in someone’s debt for all this liberal entertainment. And so it pleased me, in a half-laughing way, to leave pieces of money on the turf as I went along, until I had left enough for my night’s lodging. I trust they did not fall to some rich and churlish drover.”– Travels with a Donkey in the Cevennes, p. 94“A still clear light began to fall, and the trees on the hillside were outlined sharply against the sky… and looking up, I was surprised to see the cloud dyed with gold. In these high regions of the air, the sun was already shining as at noon. If only the clouds travelled high enough, we should see the same thing all night long. For it is always daylight in the fields of space… A few steps farther, and I saw a whole hillside gilded with the sun; and still a little beyond, between two peaks, a center of dazzling brilliancy appeared floating in the sky, and I was once more face to face with the big bonfire that occupies the kernel of our system.”– Travels with a Donkey in the Cevennes, p. 132Inspired by Stevenson, Steinbeck picked up the pen 62 years later.“One thing impressed us deeply on this little voyage: the great world dropped away very quickly. We lost the fear and fierceness and contagion of war and economic uncertainty. The matters of great importance we had left were not important.”– Sea of Cortez, p. 210“Out in the bay the pelicans were fishing, flying along and then folding their wings and falling in their clumsy-appearing dives, which nevertheless must be effective, else there would be no more pelicans.”– Sea of Cortez, p. 193“The use of euphemism in national advertising is giving the hangover a bad name. ‘Over-indulgence’ it is called. There is a curious nastiness about over-indulgence. We would not consider over-indulging. The name is unpleasant, and the word ‘over’ indicates that one shouldn’t have done it. Our celebration had no such implication. We did not drink too much. We drank just enough, and we refuse to profane a good little time of mild inebriety with that slurring phrase ‘over-indulgence.’ There have been very few immortals who did not love wine; offhand we cannot think of any and we do not intend to try very hard.”– Sea of Cortez, p. 198“The Western Flyer hunched into the great waves toward Cedros Island, the wind blew off the tops of the whitecaps, and the big guy wire, from bow to mast, took up its vibration like the low pipe on a tremendous organ. It sang its deep note into the wind.”– The ending his travelogue, Sea of Cortez, p. 271Twenty-two years after, Steinbeck wrote his final travelogue.“As he sat in the seat beside me, his head was almost as high as mine. He put his nose close to my ear and said ‘Ftt.’ He is the only dog I ever knew that could pronounce the consonant F.”– Travels with Charley “My town had grown and chan

Perhaps you’ve noticed that fewer couples are choosing to get married. This decline in the marriage rate has been slow, but it is a cultural shift that makes me uneasy.The first reason for my uneasiness is that I believe marriage is more than a piece of paper. Something wonderful happens when a couple embraces a legal alteration of their separate identities to become partners for life. Marriage is a serious commitment, not easily undone.Princess Pennie and I have been married for 43 years. “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.” I believe everyone should marry their best friend and face life together as partners.Our belief in marriage is such that 15 years ago we gave the world a free wedding chapel that hangs off the edge of a cliff on the outskirts of Austin, Texas. As couples approach the chapel, they literally turn from the path they were walking to step off the edge together. Standing in the air, they become legally united.Chapel Dulcinea hosts more than 1,000 free weddings a year.The second reason for my uneasiness is that I have been writing ads to help jewelers sell engagement rings for 33 years. Any jeweler who does what I’m about to describe is going to make a blistering fortune. Believe me, I know the diamond business as well as anyone in the world. I have Martin Rapaport’s private cell phone number on speed dial.Jewelers no longer form a major part of my ad-writing business, but I love the work and feel a deep connection to it.2019 seems to have been an inflection point.I have spoken to more than 100 jewelers in the past 90 days and each has reported that their opportunities to sell engagement rings declined by about 9 percent in 2019. But they happily report that the size of the average purchase increased by enough to offset the declining sales opportunities, so their topline didn’t suffer. Fewer than 10 of these 100 engagement ring stores were my clients, but my clients are notable because they are among the largest and strongest in America.Reservations to book Chapel Dulcinea declined by 9 percent as well. And it’s free.A few weeks ago, I woke up with an astoundingly simple, big idea. My goal for 2020 is to see every jeweler in the world embrace this idea in a worldwide celebration of marriage. The best way to explain the idea is to let you read this short ad-segment I am giving to jewelers everywhere. This information can be inserted into an infinite number of ads. Just give this segment an opening and a closing and watch what will begin to happen in just a few short months.YOUNG:  You’ll find the diamond of your life at­­­­­­­­ [name of store.]OLDER: We have tremendous values on BIG Anniversary Diamonds.YOUNG: What’s an “Anniversary Diamond?”OLDER: An Anniversary Diamond is at least twice as big as the one in her engagement ring.YOUNG: Why twice as big?OLDER: [Calls the younger person by his/her first name,] every diamond makes a statement.YOUNG: Okay, what does an Anniversary Diamond say?OLDER: It says, “I love you twice as much today as the day you married me.”YOUNG: I like this!OLDER: [Location details]The limiting factor in the engagement ring diamond is that it is “one-and-done.” But a woman can have a whole collection of Anniversary Diamonds. Moreover, less than 2% of our population gets engaged each year. Now compare that to the percentage of America that is already married.The potential for anniversary diamonds is at least as big as the potential for engagement rings and probably a great deal bigger.The key to this idea is NOT to try to “merchandise” the anniversary diamond by mounting it in a specific piece of jewelry. This is the mistake that DeBeers has made for decades. “Anniversary Diamond” is a category, a concept, an idea, a blank to be filled in by the customer. How she decides to mount her anniversary diamond is up to her, or up to her partner if that is what the partner chooses. The thing to remember is that it is NOT up to the jeweler.Pennie and I were married with a 1/3 carat diamond. If I give her a 2-carat anniversary diamond, I get to say, “I love you 6 times as much as the day you married me.”Maybe she’ll put the 2-carat in her original engagement ring mounting. Maybe she’ll have a custom ring made for it. Maybe she’ll wear it as a pendant and choose a mounting and chain. Maybe she’ll attach it to a long needle and wear it as a hat pin. Maybe her two carats will be a matched pair of 1-carat diamond stud earrings. When people comment on those earrings, she can say, “These are my anniversary diamonds. Roy said they were 6 times as big as my engagement diamond because he loves me 6 times as much as the day he married me.”How she wears her anniversary diamond doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that she knows for certain how much I love her.Now that I think about it, Pennie’s anniversary diamond is going to have

A contrast of opposites is the foundation of effective communication.A thing cannot exist without its opposite.But opposites aren’t always easy to detect.As an example, the opposite of “freedom” isn’t really “slavery,” because slavery no longer exists in our society like it did 160 years ago. We need to contrast freedom with something experiential, something we have all felt.Responsibility is the opposite of freedom for most of us. As responsibility is increased, freedom is decreased. We’ve known this since the late Renaissance.“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” (1659)Today’s tug-of-war is not between freedom and slavery, but between freedom and responsibility. But what are the attractions at the ends of the rope? We could argue that freedom is its own reward, but what is the reward for responsibility?Purpose is the reward for responsibility.Life is a search for identity, purpose, and adventure.Identity: Who am I?Purpose: Why am I here?Adventure: What must I overcome?Are you familiar with the boredom of the idle rich? They spend extravagant amounts of money to create the illusion of adventure, but it never really pays off. They can sense the truth of the second half of that saying from 1659, even if they have never read it:“All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy.”A lifetime of hollow, false adventures is the price paid by the idle rich for having accepted no responsibilities and having found no purpose.A loss of freedom is the price of responsibility, but purpose is its reward, whether that responsibility is entrusted to us by someone in authority, or we choose it for ourselves.When you embrace responsibility, you find purpose.And when you determine what you must overcome, you find adventure.Roy H. Williams

Twenty-one years ago I got a phone call from my publisher, Ray Bard. “Roy, a man in Denver just bought 350 copies of your book from a bookstore in Denver and then faxed the receipt to my office with a question scribbled on it.”“What was the question?” I asked.“He wrote, ‘Is this enough for you to arrange a meeting with the author?’”A couple of weeks later, the man arrived in Austin and we spent a day talking about every subject on earth. I was glad I met him.That night, Pennie asked, “What does he do for a living?”That’s when it occurred to me that I knew almost nothing about the man’s personal life because every time I asked him a question about himself, he would take our conversation in a new direction.A few days later I received an email from my mysterious friend. “Cancel whatever plans you have for March 10 and be in the Grand Ballroom of the Waldorf-Astoria in New York at 7:00 PM. Trust me.”We had no idea what we were walking into, but Pennie and I decided it would be a fun adventure, so we flew to New York.A small army of security men stood guard at the doors of the Grand Ballroom as hundreds of tuxedos and long-gloved evening gowns flowed like water across the lobby.We were given a small book with twelve hundred names listed in alphabetical order. It was a seating chart.Barlett, Donald L. – TIMEBehar, Richard – FORTUNEBloomberg, Michael – Bloomberg NewsBrady, Ray – CBSThrough the open doorway I saw an arctic plateau of crystal stemware and white china on snow-white tablecloths.Pennie placed her finger in a precise spot on page nine. “This is the place where our names should have been.”We stared at that spot for a long time and waited for our names to magically appear alongside a table number. An insert fell from the booklet onto the floor. I picked it up. It was a note from Bill Clinton, President of the United States.“Pennie,” I whispered, “I just realized something.”She looked at me. I continued.“There was no salutation on that email. It didn’t say, ‘Dear Roy and Pennie.’ It just started with the words, ‘Meet me.’”Pennie had a question mark in her eyes.“I think he clicked my email address by mistake.”Everyone else was in the ballroom now and we, conspicuously, were not.Pennie smiled and said, “No problem, we’ll go have a nice dinner and then have a few days of fun in New York.” Not wanting to attract attention to ourselves, we began moving quietly toward the door that led onto the street. That’s when we heard a shout.“Pennie? Roy?”We froze like we’d been hit with a spotlight while trying to sneak over a prison wall. With all my heart I expected him to say, “What are you doing here?” But what he said was, “Did you have a good flight?”Before we could reply, the air sang the song of a wine glass being struck repeatedly by a butter knife. That’s when our friend grabbed Pennie’s hand and said, “Follow me.”He led us to a table on the stage where the trophies were to be presented. It was like sitting onstage during the Academy Awards. Pennie and I were the guests of honor at a dinner party Roving Reporter Rotbart was throwing for all his journalist friends. The next year he threw his party on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange and the year after that it was at NASDAQ.Twenty-one years later, when his daughter Avital needed to design a book for her senior thesis in college, I happily volunteered to let her prepare our long-overdue guidebook, Secrets of the Wizard Academy Campus.We will be distributing copies during our extravaganza on May 2nd. The roving reporter says he’s planning to be there.Are you?Roy H. Williams

Richard Kessler built one of the most famous stores in America.You might remember his name from the Monday Morning Memo about origin stories published on March 20, 2017. Here is Kessler’s origin story in a 60-second radio ad:My Dad was a house painter. He taught me to sand and scrape paint until my fingers were aching and raw. But I wanted to make him proud, so I always worked hard. I’ll never forget the day we opened our brown bags at lunch time and he said, “Son. I’m proud of how hard you work, but I hope that someday you’ll get a job where you can wear a tie.” And because I wanted to make him proud, I decided to open a jewelry store. I watched as my Dad took his last seven hundred dollars out of his sock drawer to help me get started. But he never got to see that store.  He died just before it was open. I lived on wieners and beans for the next 11 years until I finally figured it out:  Lose the tie… And be a regular guy just like your Dad.  That’s when things turned around for me. I’ve been sharing the story of that 700 dollars with young entrepreneurs in High Schools and Colleges for years. America’s newest and best Kesslers Diamond Center is about to open in front of Cabela’s next to the Rivertown Mall in Grandville. I’m Richard Kessler, and I’m hoping to become your jeweler.Richard Kessler is a celebrity in his hometown of Milwaukee, with 50% of the population of that city having heard at least 3 of his radio ads every week, fifty-two-weeks in a row, for the past 30 years. Richard’s daughter, Monica, was his sidekick on the radio for 5 years, then became the principal voice of the Kesslers ad campaign when Richard retired.But Richard Kessler also has a son.Hi, I’m Rob Kessler, yeah that Kessler, son of Richard and brother to Monica. I invented a new kind of shirt that makes guys look fantastic.  You’ll see what I mean the moment you look in the mirror after trying one on. “Wow! Is that me?” And you can try one on right now at Harleys Menswear. My company is called goTieless and your new shirt has my patented, Million Dollar Collar. Shirt-makers all over the world are trying to license the Million Dollar Collar, but I’m not sure I want to do that. But I AM sure I want you to see yourself in the mirror wearing one. Average dress shirts were designed to be worn with a tie.  goTIELESS shirts are designed to make you look like you’ve been spending time in the gym. Seriously, go to Harleys Menswear and try one on and look in the mirror.  WOW!! My website is goTIELESS dot com. You’re going to look AMAZING in the casual dress shirts I designed for you.  goTIELESS dot com. Dad says “Hi” by the way.  For real.  goTIELESS dot com.Line 1: Introduce the unknown and unfamiliar by relating it to the known and familiar. “Hi, I’m Rob Kessler, yeah that Kessler, son of Richard and brother to Monica.”Line 2: Replace predictable words with unexpected words that mean the same thing.Not “I designed a shirt…” but, “I invented a shirt…” Also, bring the customer into the picture by saying “…that makes guys look FANTASTIC.”Line 3: Amplify the customer’s curiosity by putting them squarely in the center of the picture you’re painting. “You’ll see what I mean the moment you look in the mirror after trying one on. ‘Wow! Is that me?’”Line 4: Cause the customer to imagine themselves taking the action you want them to take. “And you can try one on right now at Harleys Menswear.”Line 5a: Introduce the domain name you need them to remember, then answer the question that lurks in the mind of the listener: What did Rob Kessler invent that makes guys look fantastic? “My company is called goTIELESS and your new shirt has my patented, Million Dollar Collar.”Line 5b: Transfer ownership of the shirt by referring to it as “your new shirt,” rather than “my new shirt.” This is another way of causing the customer to imagine themselves taking the action you want them to take.Line 6: Establish third-party credibility, “Shirt-makers all over the world are trying to license the Million Dollar Collar…” then let the customer get a glimpse into your heart by saying, “but I’m not sure I want to do that.” Those nine words signal that making money is not your principal objective. Line 7: Now close the loop on this set of paired opposites. Not sure/AM sure. “…But I AM sure I want you to see yourself in the mirror wearing one.” This line also contains the seventh and eighth times you’ve caused the customer to imagine himself taking the action you want him to take.1 ….makes guys look fantastic2. You’ll see what I mean…3. …you look in the mirror…4. … “Wow! Is that me?”5. … you can try one on right now…6. … your

My friend has been important to me for 6 or 7 years.I had no idea that he had any money until about 3 years ago.My friend is a professional gambler.No, he doesn’t gamble on green felt tables with cards or dice. He gambles on NASDAQ and the New York Stock Exchange.“Oh, he’s an investor,” you say.“No, I’m a highly informed gambler,” he responds.My friend wins 7 out of every 8 bets and makes about $100,000 a week.No, I won’t give you his name and it wouldn’t do you any good if I did. He won’t share any tips with you or me or anyone else and he certainly doesn’t need our money. He is a lone wolf hunting a lone wolf’s prey.My gambling friend doesn’t embrace traditional stock market wisdom but calculates the size of his bets according to his degree of confidence using the Kelly Criterion, an obscure formula used by professional gamblers since 1956.I, too, am a professional gambler who determines the size of his bets according to the degree of his confidence. But I don’t gamble my money on the stock market. I gamble my client’s money on ad campaigns.My ads make millions of dollars a week, but I don’t get to keep the money. It goes to the people who believed in my methods.Investors don’t like to think of themselves as gamblers. That’s why so many of them lose. The same is true of advertisers. Investors and advertisers like to believe they are scientists.Investors fall in love with stocks.Advertisers fall in love with media.Gamblers love only the dance.My friend taught me that.He and I agree that traditional wisdom is usually more tradition than wisdom. Do you agree with us?If you do, here are a few of those non-traditional thoughts about advertising that have been responsible for those millions of dollars a week.Your choice of media doesn’t make your ad perform. Your ad makes your choice of media perform. So be careful not to count on “reaching the right people.” Instead, be careful to say the right things.If you win the heart, the mind will follow. The intellect will always create logic to justify what the heart has already decided.Don’t try to “educate the customer,” believing they would choose you, “if only they understood.” Talk about something they already care about. Speak to a felt need.If you win the heart, the mind will follow. The intellect will always create logic to justify what the heart has already decided.If you try to reach the right person at the right time with the right message, you will forever be frustrated with feast-and-famine results. But if you reach the masses with a memorable message long before they need you, and continue to reach them until they do, you will be the person they think of immediately and feel the best about.If you win the heart, the mind will follow. The intellect will always create logic to justify what the heart has already decided.If you have a product with a short purchase cycle (like food and entertainment,) you can expect quick results to your advertising. But if you have a product with a long purchase cycle, you need to prepare yourself for dismal results at first, but those results will get better and better when your ad campaign finally gets traction.If you win the heart, the mind will follow. The intellect will always create logic to justify what the heart has already decided.Entertainment is the only currency with which you can purchase the time and attention of a too-busy public.Without an element of surprise, there can be no delight.Repetition is effective. Repetition is effective. Repetition is effective.If you win the heart, the mind will follow. The intellect will always create logic to justify what the heart has already decided.If you want to read some fascinating case histories, take a look at this new blog.And never forget that you are, in fact, gambling.Roy H. Williams

The first obelisk was a stone pillar with a tapered top created by the ancient Egyptians to honor the sun god.It is a finger, pointing to the sky.The Roman army carried Egyptian obelisks back to Rome as a sign of their power over that nation.The Vatican uncovered a buried Egyptian obelisk five hundred years ago and placed it in St. Peter’s Square as a sign of Catholicism’s victory over paganism. “Our God is better than your gods.”Modern obelisks are erected as memorials of people, events, and accomplishments.But the obelisk that interests me most is a jagged dagger of rock that rises eighteen hundred and forty-four feet above the surface of the ocean. This arrow to the sky has been known as Ball’s Pyramid since 1788, even though it was countless centuries old when Henry Ball’s mother gave birth to him.It never really belonged to Ball; he just discovered it.I think we put our names on things because we want to be remembered, but that doesn’t really work. Ben White and William Cannon are two famous boulevards in the city where I live, but I’ve never met anyone who could tell me who those men were or what they did.My friend Tom Grimes once wrote me an email that said,“Nobody other than a handful will think about us 15 minutes after we check out permanently. And when you realize how insignificant you really are, you are free to experience the world the way it is supposed to be experienced. One moment at a time. And that ‘This Day’ is ‘The Day.’”I think Tom is right. Our lives aren’t measured by one big accomplishment, but by all the little things we do and say. Every person is given, at birth, a colorful imagination and a tongue for a brush.Splashes of color are left on our lives by every person we encounter.And how we do love those people who paint in our hearts a bright finger of encouragement, pointing toward the sky!What will you paint today?Roy H. Williams

It takes four people to make a world.One person wants acceptance.They hope to save the relationship.Under pressure, they acquiesce.One person wants accuracy.They hope to save face.Under pressure, they avoid.One person wants applause.They hope to save effort.Under pressure, they attack.One person wants accomplishment.They hope to save time.Under pressure, they become autocratic.When I was taught these things 40 years ago, I didn’t know what ‘autocratic’ meant, but I knew I was the fourth person, the ‘autocratic’ one focused on accomplishment.Impediments and incompetence annoy me, and I see no value in committees.In case you didn’t know, that last statement was autocratic. AAutocrats are socially awkward, but we are good at making things happen. If you want to get something done, put an autocrat in charge. If they need a friend, they’ll buy a dog.If you want acceptance, you will try to win those people who do not believe in your dream.If you want accuracy, you will study and plan and update your plan again and again.If you want applause, you will talk to the people who admire you.If you want accomplishment, you will leap to the challenge and deal quickly and directly with impediments and incompetence. This is what it means to be a weasel slapper.Monkey farmers see a problem and embrace it, form a bond with it, try to understand it, then carry that monkey on their back. This monkey attracts other monkeys. Are you beginning to see the problem?I said, “Autocrats are socially awkward, but we are good at making things happen.” But the things we make happen aren’t always good. This is why the other three people are so important.The one who wants acceptance will make sure customers love your company and your employees never want to leave it.The one who wants accuracy will make sure the bills are paid and that you never get in trouble with the IRS or with any other regulatory agency.The one who wants applause will make sure everyone has heard of you.By yourself, you are just a lone nut charging a windmill with a lance.Would we have ever heard of Don Quixote if there had been no Sancho Panza?Would we have ever heard of Steve Jobs if there had been no Wozniak?Would we have ever heard of ‘Look at Me’ Paul McCartney without brooding, negative John Lennon? Could Lennon and McCartney have been The Beatles without sardonic George Harrison and ‘I Love Everyone’ Ringo Starr?It takes four people to make a world.Anyone who thinks they can do it all alone…is going to find themselves…all alone.Roy H. Williams

Thomas Mann, the winner of the 1929 Nobel Prize in Literature, said, “A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.”I agree with Thomas Mann. Having logged more than 39,000 hours of writing during the past 30 years, I can say with confidence that no sane person fights quite so fiercely or so long to find exactly the right word as does the writer. And to hear a word used inappropriately causes the ear to itch like a mosquito bite.My warm heart overflows with hope that you will find the next few paragraphs to be instructive, insightful, and illuminating, but my cold and calculating mind suspects that you will find these paragraphs to be mildly comical, at best.If you were to choose to quit reading right now, I would understand.Oh, my. You’re still here.I suppose I should begin.I was contemplating my admiration of 86-year-old Carol Burnett when I realized that she is probably the most active and vibrant of the female television stars of the late 1960’s.When I Googled “female television stars of the 1960s” I was surprised to see that virtually every website included not just the female television stars, but the female movie stars, as well.“Is there a difference?” you ask.Yes, there is a difference. Television stars are famous for their television shows. Movie stars are famous for their movies. And sex symbols are famous for their sex appeal. Famous sex symbols of that era include Barbara Eden in “I Dream of Jeannie,” and Donna Douglas as Ellie Mae Clampett in “The Beverly Hillbillies,” who served as the prototype for another hillbilly sex symbol, Daisy Duke, played by Catherine Bach eight years later on “The Dukes of Hazzard.”Television Star, Movie Star, and Sex Symbol are three different designations, although it is possible for one person to be all three.I confess that I am equally distressed by the rampant misuse of the word, “mentor.”People often tell me about their “mentors,” and then proceed to list people whose work influenced and inspired them, even though none of those “mentors” interacted with them directly, or even knew that they were alive. If we want to be accurate, we will say that the work of such a person influenced us and inspired us, but we will not go so far as to call them our “mentor.”If a person is your mentor, you are their apprentice, their protégé. A person is your mentor when they take an interest in you and devote a meaningful amount of time and energy into your future.Lucille Ball did far more than influence and inspire Carol Burnett. She actively mentored Carol until April 26, 1989.On Carol Burnett’s 56th birthday, she woke up to hear the news that her longtime friend and mentor, Lucille Ball, had died unexpectedly.Carol was devastated.Several hours later, there was a knock on her door. Carol Burnett opened the door to see a delivery man holding a huge bouquet of flowers with a note that said, “Happy Birthday, Kid. Love, Lucy.”Thirty years later, Carol cannot speak of it without crying.Roy H. Williams

Good decisions come from experience.Experience comes from bad decisions.Bad decisions aren’t made because a person is stupid. Bad decisions are often the result of logic.The first thing experience will teach you is, “Not everything logical is true.”Logic among advertising professionals says, “Always target the right customer.” But if you embrace that premise,you will gravitate to online marketing because it allows you to reach specific types of people, track results, gather data, and hold your ad budget accountable.you will spend too much money to reach too few people.you will see your advertising efficiency decrease, not increase, as you grow.you will fail to become widely known.Alex Iskold is not an advertising professional. Alex blogs about startups and venture capital as the Managing Director of Techstars. He was previously the founder and CEO of Information Laboratory, which was acquired by IBM, and Chief Architect at DataSynapse, which was acquired by TIBCO.In other words, Alex is a tech guy.His home page bio says “An engineer by training, Alex has deep passion and appreciation for startups, digital products and elegant code. He likes running, yoga, complex systems, Murakami books and red wine. Not necessarily in that order and not necessarily all together. He blogs about startups and venture capital at http://alexiskold.net ”Recently, he wrote,“2019 was the year when VCs and startup founders soured on paid acquisition. Contrary to what most thought a few years back, CAC (Cost of Acquiring a Customer) didn’t go down as many D2C (Direct-to-Consumer) startups scaled. The costs instead went up.”“The explosion of D2C brands and mega rounds of funding led to massive amounts of capital deployed into advertising. All this cash flooded Facebook, Instagram and other social channels, and bid up the costs of Google ads. We’ve heard that these channels have become saturated, and that the companies are seeing diminishing returns on spending additional advertising dollars.”“We also heard that consumer’s attention has become fragmented and that, combined with increasing competition for eyeballs from the brands and saturation of the channels, has led to increases in CAC (Cost of Acquiring a Customer).”“While all of this is absolutely true, this is only 1/2 of the story.”“Why startups struggle to scale: The reality is that unless you have strong word of mouth, you are forced to spend money to grow your customer base. And that relationship between the spend and the growth is linear. The more you spend on marketing and advertising the more customers you get. On the surface it sounds great, but if and when you dial down your spend – your growth stops.”Mass media includes television, radio, and outdoor, each of which is shockingly affordable when compared to the cost of paid, online advertising.I have a number of friends who own large, online companies that sell millions of dollars per month – Direct to Consumer – around the world. The average brick-and-mortar business invests 5% to 10% of topline sales into advertising. My buddies who own D2C online companies are spending 30% to 35%.The logical criticism of mass media is best summarized in a statement that has been aimed at me hundreds of times by promoters of online targeting, “You’re using a shotgun, but I’m using a rifle with a scope.”But the shotgun vs. rifle argument assumes that the costs are reasonably equal. But the simple truth is that you can reach thousands of untargeted people for the price of one, targeted person. And among those thousands of untargeted influencers will be not just one, but several of the people you would have targeted. The familiarity you win and the reputation you gain and the word-of-mouth you trigger by reaching all those untargeted influencers will be yours at no extra charge.But if you leverage your budget into local, mass media,you will feel certain that you’ve made a mistake during the early months when you’re not seeing significant results.you will experience a time when your rocket ship finally begins accelerating, if you don’t chicken out. We call this window “breakthrough.”you will see your advertising efficiency increase, year after year, as you grow.you will become widely known.The voice of experience says, “If you want to be the one customers think of immediately and feel the best about, use mass media to reach the masses. But be sure to tell an interesting and memorable story.”You’ve heard me say all this before, right? But the truth is always a paradox.And the other side of the truth about the wonderful efficiency of mass media is that sometimes it isn’t a fit for what you need to accomplish.I just approved a plan to use geofencing and geotargeting to reach the people in a specific group of buildings in the downtown area of a major city. Surprised? The cost of mass media in that city was beyond the limitations of our budget, so we’re moving ahead with a highly targeted online campaign.It’s the only way we can shrink the

My most successful ads in 2019 were the ones where I refrained from using logic, but chose instead to speak to the unconscious mind.Advertise your product to the conscious mind of a customer and you will likely be met with doubt, disinterest, and suspicion. But the unconscious mind greets you with none of these.Speaking to the unconscious is not nearly so complicated as it sounds.Here’s a recent example. A big jewelry store asked for an ad that would trigger interest in their custom-design department. The instructions I was given were typical of the instructions received by most ad writers: “Custom Designed Jewelry – Our jeweler can make just about anything from custom engagement rings, wedding bands, pendants, etc. – Let us know if you need more information about our services.”These were the thoughts that ran through my head:Custom-designed jewelry is the answer to a question that few people are asking. Consequently, it is not a felt need.But plenty of people would love to a have a distinctive, one-of-a-kind, “signature” piece of jewelry.If I speak directly to the issue by describing how “our talented designers can design distinctive, one-of-a-kind, signature pieces of jewelry for any special occasion… custom engagement rings, wedding bands, pendants, whatever you like,” people are just going to groan and roll their eyes because they will be seeing nothing in their mind, and experiencing no associative memories.Therefore, I’m going to have to come at this from an unusual angle and attempt to trigger positive, associative memories in the unconscious. (An associative memory is a memory that is linked to another memory.) If I am successful, these associative memories will inspire the curiosity of the customer to begin considering possible options.Here is the 30-second script that sprang from those musings:ROY:  Watermelon green and red,SARAH: Honey gold,ROY:   Tart lemon yellow.SARAH: Apricot orange.ROY:  Blueberry blue.SARAH: Mulberry purple.ROY:  And the pink of a perfect peach.SARAH:  All the colors of nature can be found in gemstones.ROY:   Choose a twinkling tintSARAH:   or a shimmering shadeROY:  as your own, signature colorSARAH:  to sparkle forever in your one-of-a-kindROY:   custom-designedSARAH:   jewelry.ROY: All the colors of wildflowersSARAH: glimmering and shimmering in the morning sun, are yours…ROY: at NAME OF STORE, LOCATION© Roy H. Williams, 2020People who hear that ad will ask themselves, “What would my signature color be?” And without intending to, they will begin imagining a custom-designed piece of jewelry.Few of these people, if any, will consciously consider that each of the colors named in the ad has a flavor, or that the yellow mentioned was “tart,” or that it followed “honey.” Honey and lemon is a famously soothing combination.Likewise, few will notice the mesmerizing rhythm of the two voices finishing each other’s sentences. This is known among writers as “meter,” and it is how the written and spoken language becomes musical.Colors, flavors, and music speak to the unconscious mind and trigger rich, positive associations.How does one resist a field of wildflowers glimmering and shimmering in the morning sun?“What do fruits and wildflowers have to do with selling custom jewelry?” you ask.“Everything,” I answer.Everything.Roy H. Williams

1: You are the product of your genetic code, hardwired to behave in certain ways.2: You are the product of your environment, the sum total of your influences.3: You are the product of your choices. It is your preferences, not your surroundings, that define you.I believe it is a mistake to cling too tightly to any of these 3 ideas. Each of them is true, I think, but not to the exclusion of the other two.The first explanation of you – DNA – is biological.The second explanation of you – Environment – is sociological.The third explanation of you – Choice – is theological.You don’t get to choose your DNA.You don’t get to choose how or where you spend your early childhood years.You do get to choose what you do next.I say these things to you because you are staring into the mirror of a brand-new year; so new that you can still smell the vinyl upholstery.I see your future clearly. Shall I tell you about it?Things will happen to you that are beyond your control. A few of these will be bad. But why worry? They are beyond your control. You have no power to change these things, no matter how well you worry. “Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”– Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, from his book, Meditations, published in 200 A.D.“True happiness is to enjoy the present without anxious dependence on the future.”– Lucius Annaeus Seneca, (4 B.C. – 65 A.D.)Yes, things will happen to you that are beyond your control. But most of these will be good things. Do not take them for granted, but anchor yourself in these daily moments of serendipity. Let them speak to you of the joy of living:You will step outside just in time to see the afternoon sky melt into the red, orange and gold of autumn leaves.You will be contacted by an old friend you had been thinking about calling.You will have the opportunity to play with a puppy.You will order a dish you’ve never had and be amazed at the interplay of flavors and spices.You will be paid a true compliment by a stranger.You will be given the opportunity to make a big difference in the life of someone else, and it will be within your power to say, “Yes.”You will look into the face of an infant, and it will smile at you.You will discover a short-cut that saves you time and trouble.You will talk to empty air and know that you have been heard.You will have a happy, new year.These good things, and many hundreds of others like them, are waiting for you, just ahead.Roy H. Williams

I want you to be in Austin on May 2nd if you can.The Princess has chosen the perfect location for The House of Bilbo Baggins, and there’s a chance we may have something for you to see when you get here.We have also begun construction on The Village of the Lost Boys and we ought to have the first two of the cabins in that village mostly completed by then.You remember The Lost Boys from Peter Pan, don’t you? Peter tells Wendy about them in chapter 3 of his glittering 1904 novel.“They are the children who fall out of their perambulators when the nurse is looking the other way.”“Are none of them girls?”“Oh, no; girls are much too clever to fall out of their prams.”May 2nd will be the 20th Anniversary of the birth of Wizard Academy.In the year 2000, classes were held in the attic of our offices in Buda.In 2001, we appropriated the little one-room building next door that was originally built as a gym for the employees of Williams Marketing.In 2004, Princess Pennie located and purchased the plateau across which our sprawling little campus is now draped.The 6 cabins in The Village of the Lost Boys will raise the number of on-campus rooms to 24, but with a second bed in the loft of each cabin, we will theoretically be able to sleep 30.And 30 people, ladies and gentlemen, is a very packed Eye of the Storm.Did you know that The Eye of the Storm classroom and lecture hall in the tower was built by Tim Storm? I always intended to call it The Eye of the Storm since it is where the fierce winds of new information cause us to realize that much of “traditional marketing wisdom” is more tradition than wisdom. It was that loveliest of invisible ladies, Serendipity, that whispered to Tim Storm that he should build it, even though he had no idea what I planned to name it.I have always depended on the whispers of Serendipity to suggest to the friends of Wizard Academy that they should leave a permanent mark on our campus. Dozens of you have already heard her whispers and acted upon them. On May 2nd, 2020, we’re going to celebrate what you, and she, have done together.Two weeks ago, Tim Gallagher was in The Magical Worlds Communications Workshop with his delightful daughter, Fallyn. She had never seen Gallagher Lane, that lovely winding sidewalk that leads from The Bell Wall all the way down to Engelbrecht House in the Valley of the Lost Boys. Have you never noticed the beautiful verdigris-bronze plaque in the portal of the Bell Wall? (Don’t worry, Indy says he’s going to show it to you along with a lot of other cool stuff in today’s highly informative rabbit hole. To enter the rabbit hole, just click the image of Indy Beagle at the top of this Monday Morning Memo.)On January 1, the day after tomorrow, Daniel Whittington will officially take over as Chancellor of Wizard Academy although he’s been doing most of my job for at least two years. Can you believe Daniel has been here for 6 years and that Zac Smith has been serving as Vice-Chancellor for a full year already?I will remain involved in classes at Wizard Academy and Pennie will continue her duties overseeing the appearance of the physical campus for years to come, but the day-to-day financial obligations and management of your school are now solidly on the shoulders of young brother Whittington.On May 2nd, we will release that long-awaited guidebook, Secrets of the Wizard Academy Campus, as you and we celebrate our past 20 years together and take a look at what is planned for the next 20 years. Among those things will be the speedy completion of The Village of the Lost Boys and The House of Bilbo Baggins.And then there is the incredibly important new certification program called The Ad Writers Masters Class.Indy is tapping the toenails of his right-front paw. I think he’s anxious for you to come and see what he has for you in the rabbit hole.Roy H. Williams