Wizard of Ads Monday Morning Memo

January 28, 2008John and Jane Doe4321 Happily Thereafter Ave.Everytown, USATo the Companies Who Want Our Money,Yesterday’s selling techniques aren’t working so good. Have you noticed?We’re betting that your traffic has been trending downward for the past few months. Are we right? (If we’re wrong, keep up the good work. You’re doing all the right things.)But if your traffic has, in fact, been trending downward, here are some things for you to think about:Today’s customer expects easy access to information.And that information includes the price.Quit trying to romance everything. Cut the hype. Just say it clean and tight, shoulders back, looking us directly in the eye.Give us the truth with clarity. Transparency. Openhanded disclosure. Nothing hidden behind your back.If you tell us about a product or service online and we wonder what it costs and we learn the only way you’ll tell us the price is if we give up our contact information, we think: 1.   you’re charging too much and you know it.2.   you want an opportunity to “overcome our objections” or3.   you’re planning to contact us and control the conversation with rigged questions       under the pretense that you’re “consulting” us for our own good.4.   you want us to give you a credit card number,5.   but what you really need is a clue.Sorry, we don’t mean to be rude.You seem to be sincere in your confusion about why traffic is down and we’re just trying to tell you the truth you need to hear.Yes, it’s partly the economy.But you’ve also lost touch with the times.You’ve got reasons for not disclosing your prices. We understand that. You don’t want to give your competitors “the edge” or something or other. But companies with good prices aren’t afraid to share them. In their ads. Over the phone. On their websites. From the housetops.Or at least that’s how it seems to us.Have a great 2008.John and Jane Doe

In January of 2004 I launched a public presentation: Society’s 40-year Pendulum. Audiences from Stockholm to Sydney to Vancouver to Myrtle Beach will recall my statement, “2003 was the first year in a 6-year transition from the Idealist perspective to the Civic.”2008 will be the sixth and final year of that transition.Labels like Baby Boomer and Gen-X and Soccer Mom assume a person’s outlook is determined by when they were born. This is a very foolish assumption.Look around and you’ll see that Baby Boomers aren’t Boomers anymore. Most have adopted an entirely new outlook and are becoming part of what’s happening now. By the end of 2008 there won’t be a Baby Boomer left in America. The last, reluctant holdout will finally admit that Woodstock is over, Kennedy is dead, and the Idealism of the 60’s was a wistful dream.In their 1993 book, Generations, Strauss and Howe asserted that western society swings from an Idealist outlook to a Civic perspective and back again with the precision of pendulum. And at the bottom of each arc, the new views introduced by that generation's youth will be adopted by the adults within 6 years of the tipping point.1963 introduced the Idealist outlook we associate with “Baby Boomers.” 1968 was the final year of that transition. By 1969, everyone in America, regardless of their age, was seeing through rose colored lenses.2003 was 1963 all over again, but this time we're headed in the opposite direction.2008 will be the last year of our transition to a Civic perspective.Here’s what to remember when selling in 2008:1. Efficiency is the new Service.Your customer is saying, “Quality and price and quick, please. I’ve got things to do. Thanks.” Service and selection still matter, but not nearly so much as they once did. Inefficient organizations built on high-touch “relationship” selling will decline. Today’s customer is magnetically drawn to efficiency. This attraction will increase over the next few years.2. Authenticity is essential.Listen to the street. “Being cool” has become “Keepin’ it real.”Naiveté is rare today. Your customer is equipped with a bullshit detector that is highly sensitive and amazingly accurate. And the younger the customer, the more accurate their bullshit detector.When selling, remember: If you don’t admit the downside, they won’t believe the upside.Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Leonard Pitts gave us an example of “keepin’ it real” when he opened his syndicated column recently with the following lines:I’ve got nothing against fame. I’m famous myself. Sort of.OK, not Will Smith famous, or Ellen DeGeneres famous. All right, not even Marilu Henner famous.I’m the kind of famous where you fly into some town to give a speech before that shrinking subset of Americans who still read newspapers and, for that hour, they treat you like a rock star, applauding, crowding around, asking for autographs.Then it’s over. You walk through the airport the next day and no one gives a second glance. You are nobody again.Dave Barry told me this story about Mark Russell, the political satirist. It seems Russell gave this performance where he packed the hall, got a standing O. He was The Man. Later, at the hotel, The Man gets hungry, but the only place to eat is a McDonald’s across the road. The front door is locked, but the drive-through is still open. So he stands in it. A car pulls in behind him. The driver honks and yells, “Great show, Mark!”For the record, I consider Leonard Pitts to be one of the greatest living writers in the world today. Read his column and see if you don’t agree.3. A Horizontal Connectedness is replacing yesterday’s vertical, social hierarchy. Labels like “white collar” and “blue collar” sound almost racist today. The new American dream isn’t about pulling ahead and leaving the others behind. It’s about becoming a productive member of the team.“Winning” has become less important than “belonging.”Listen to the streets. “I’m number one,” gets the response, “You ain’t all that, dog. You ain’t all that.”Labor unions were deader than a bag of hammers in 2004, a relic of the past, so when I predicted that collective bargaining would reawaken and gain momentum during the coming Civic outlook, audiences often laughed or folded their arms and curled a lip, thinking I was advocating organized labor. (I wasn’t.)Have you heard about the Hollywood writer’s strike? Expect to see Wal-Mart unionized in the upcoming years. Hide and watch. See if I’m not right.4. Word-of-Mouth is the new Mass Media. Video games and cable TV stripped our kids of their innocence at an early age, but the Technology that robbed them of idyllic childhood also empowered them with cell phones, blogs and blackberries.Viral marketing wasn’t created by the advertising community. It’s simply the result of a horizontally-connected generation (1.) sharing their happy discoveries with each other and (2.) trying to protect one another from mistakes.&nbsp

Every business that tries to rise to its full height will bump its head on a glass ceiling they didn’t realize was there.That glass ceiling is created by the business owner’s core beliefs about the customer.Traditionally, 5 out of 10 customers will be in transactional shopping mode. The other 5 will be in relational shopping mode.Shoppers in transactional mode are looking for information, facts, details, prices. Their thoughts revolve around the product itself, not the purchase experience.Relational-mode shoppers are looking for a pleasant experience. They want to find the right place, the right person from whom to buy, an expert they can trust. Meanwhile, the transactional shopper is gathering the information that will allow them to be their own expert.A customer can be a relational shopper in one category and a transactional shopper in another. The labels don’t define the customer. They describe only the mode of shopping, the momentary mindset of the decision maker, the type of ad to which he or she will respond.Here’s what’s currently happening in America:One of the 5 relational shoppers has begun to think transactionally.The reasons are:(1.)   concerns about the economy,(2.)   access to information via search engines.Americans spent $29.7 billion online at Christmas (Nov. 1 to Dec 31,) approximately $100 for every man, woman and child in the nation, up 19% from the previous year. In other words, there was $100 fewer dollars per person spent in brick-and-mortar stores in your town than was being spent just a few years ago at Christmastime.And for the first time in the history of Starbucks, traffic is in decline.Starbucks has always sold relationally. We pay for the atmosphere of the café with its half-lit earthtones and iconic logo – the idea of affordable luxury – as much as we pay for the coffee. But some of us have begun to compare the quality and price of the coffee itself to the quality and price available from other providers.Beginning to get the picture?Starbucks has found the glass ceiling. In other words, they’re selling as much coffee as can be sold relationally.I’m sure you have your own idea about how Starbucks should respond to their decline in traffic, but the point of today’s memo is this: A glass ceiling exists when you overestimate the number of people who prefer to buy the way you prefer to sell.People never really change their mind. They merely make new decisions based on new information. Will Starbucks give us new information, a new perspective in 2008, or will they just whine at their marketing department for the inexplicable decline in traffic?More importantly, what new information will you deliver in 2008? (You realize this memo isn’t really about Starbucks, right? I don’t care about Starbucks. I care about you.)The Tiny Giant is that 1 relational shopper in 5 who is moving to a transactional perspective. This effectively shifts the marketing balance from 5/5 to 6/4. This doesn’t sound like a big thing until you realize that 6 is 50% more than 4.Do you have the clear answers that 6 in 10 shoppers demand? Are you willing to provide the growing tribe of transactional shoppers with the information, facts, details and prices they expect?Or will you simply demand that your marketing team deliver more customers in relational shopping mode? (Please, I’m begging you for your own sake, don’t fall into the trap of believing the answer is to “target” relational shoppers though some magical mailing list, email list, or sponsorship package.)Think about it, won’t you?Your financial future hangs in the balance.Roy H. Williams

America split into 3 camps last year.Those camps came sharply into focus at Christmas.1.   The Hunker-Down crowd cut back their purchases, uneasy about dwindling dollars and rising debt. Traffic in non-discount retail stores was sluggish as a result.2.   The Full-Speed-Ahead crowd did business as usual. God bless’em. “Damn the torpedoes! I choose not to participate in a recession! The only thing to fear is fear itself!”3.   The I’m-Too-Rich-To-Worry crowd spent somewhat more on Christmas than last year, almost enough to offset the penury of the Hunker Downs. While the total number of transactions was down for December, the average sale was slightly up, due to the largesse of this group.Here’s what to expect in 2008:We’re going to see an increasing number of purchases influenced by the head instead of the heart. Service and selection are taking a back seat to quality and price. In the language of Myers-Briggs, we’re shifting from an F (feeling) mindset to a T (thinking) perspective.In Advertising, both the Hunker Downs and the Full Speed Aheads are looking for clear statements of benefit. The I’m-Too-Rich-To-Worries are looking for exclusive brands.Efficiency providers like Sam’s Club and Costco will continue to thrive. As will sellers of prestige brands that are never discounted. Retailers who have built their businesses on service and selection will feel pressure to reinvent themselves. It’s going to be a very good year for consultants.How about you? Would you like to gain some insight about what to do next?Wizard Academy is a 21st Century Business School.Your goals are your own business.Helping you reach them is ours.Q: How is a 21st century business school different than a 20th century business school?A: We recognize the value of intuition. Traditional business schools teach that decisions should wait until all the data is available. But intuitive innovators who know the right answer before all the data is available are now leapfrogging businesses who continue to follow the old-school logic. The big fish are no longer eating the little fish. The fast fish are eating the slow.Which fish will you be?Begin 2008 with a visit to Wizard Academy and see if it doesn't brighten your future.We'll see you when you get here.Roy H. Williams

Whether it exists in the public consciousness or only in my mind, I can't be sure, but there’s an anxiousness about 2008 that gives me pause. We seem to be pushing our way to the edge.Presidency, economy, war.What will happen?I take a breath and close my eyes and remember the words of Marcus Aurelius Antoninus published 1800 years ago, “Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”Anthony Hopkins shared a similar thought with James Lipton during a recent interview on Inside the Actor's Studio, “Today is the tomorrow I was so worried about yesterday.”A client recently shared with me one of those amazing “weapons of reason” Marcus Aurelius spoke about:I asked, “How is traffic trending? Are we ahead of last year?”“Roy, I don’t measure traffic.”“You’re kidding.”“Last week one of my salespeople made 63 sales presentations and closed only 24 of them. That tells me 39 people bought somewhere else. And right now they’re telling all their friends why they bought where they did. They’re showing off their purchases and explaining why they didn’t buy from us.”“Good point.”“That salesperson is no longer with us.”“You’re really serious about this.”“Today’s close rate is the most reliable indicator of tomorrow’s traffic. When close rate is high, traffic increases. When close rate begins to slide, traffic soon begins to slide as well.”Does it surprise you that this client keeps better records than any we’ve ever served and that he’s currently our fastest growing client in North America? Thankfully, he knows what information can be correlated and what cannot. He doesn’t let his statistics lead him to ridiculous conclusions.But the part of our conversation that jerked my eyebrows upward was that he was aware of the weekly close rate of each of his nearly 100 salespeople.Wow.You can’t improve what you don’t measure.What are you measuring?“When you can measure what you are speaking about, and express it in numbers, you know something about it; but when you cannot measure it, when you cannot express it in numbers, your knowledge is of a meager and unsatisfactory kind; it may be the beginning of knowledge, but you have scarcely in your thoughts advanced to the state of Science, whatever the matter may be.”–   Sir William Thomson, Lord Kelvin, Electrical Units of Measurement, 1883There are lots of things business owners are secretly trying to achieve. And usually these goals are secret, even to themselves.In a couple of weeks I’ll begin 3 intensive days of planning for 11 different companies. We’ll all sit in a circle on the first morning and I’ll ask each of them separately, “How will we measure success? What do you want me to help you make happen?”I’ve been asking that question of business owners for nearly 30 years. It’s never easy to get an answer.But it’s a whole lot easier to win the game when you’re clear on how points are scored.Are you playing to win in 2008?Your goals are your own business.Helping you reach them is mine.Roy H. Williams

I’m a big believer in the power of words. But when words aren’t backed by corresponding actions, talk is cheap.Have you ever felt a disconnection between what a company promised you in their ads and what they actually delivered?I carry a list of companies in my head called the “Never Again As Long As I Live” list. I’ll bet you have one, too.Was it the advertising of these companies that put them on our lists? Of course not. It was their actions.One dumb decision can undo years of good advertising.What decisions have you made that send signals to your customers?“Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.”– Ralph Waldo Emerson1. What are you saying in your ads?2. Who are you being in your store?3. Is there a disconnect?AA dog doesn’t have to growl to let me know it’s dangerous. Just bare you teeth, doggie. I’ll understand. This small, direct signal from the dog overrides all the assurances of its owner: “He won’t bite, he’s a friendly dog. I’ve had him for 10 years. His breed never bites. It’s been proven. Here, watch this. See, he didn’t bite me and he won’t bite you either. What are you afraid of? Here are some testimonials from other people who have petted him. Did you know this dog was voted Most Pettable Dog of 2007? He won’t bite you, he likes you. Trust me. We care about our customers.”What is advertising but the assurances of a dog owner?Talk, when it costs you nothing, is cheap.“Here are ten, hundred-dollar bills. Put them in your pocket. If this dog so much as snaps at you, they’re yours. He wasn’t baring his teeth to scare you. He was smiling at you.”Wow. A smiling dog. I think I’ll pet him.Actions are powerful signals when they agree with your words.These action-signals gain credibility to the degree they cost you one or more of the following:1. Material Wealth2. Time & Energy3. Opportunity4. Power & Control5. Reputation & Prestige6. Safety & Well BeingWhat do your signals cost you? What are you risking?Words that cost you little have little meaning.Tom Wanek is an authority on how to use signals and counter-signals in business. Tom has agreed to speak for one very special hour on the subject during the next Free Public Seminar in Austin, Texas.Prepare to be amazed.Roy H. Williams

Concorde was a child of the 60s. Flying 11 miles above the earth at twice the speed of sound, this jet was literally faster than a rifle bullet. London to New York in 2 hours and 53 minutes.The Concorde isn’t flown anymore.During a routine take-off in July, 2000, Concorde blew a tire after hitting a small piece of metal on a runway in Paris. A chunk of the tire knocked a hole in the wing, spilling fuel down the side of the plane just as it was lifting off. Ninety seconds later, the plane exploded in the air.The public was terrified. The Concorde fleet was grounded.After reinforcing the wings with bulletproof Kevlar and installing puncture-proof tires, the senior executives of Concorde’s parent company boarded the plane in September, 2001 and flew halfway across the Atlantic and back to demonstrate their confidence in the plane’s safety. While they were in the air, terrorists flew commercial jets into the World Trade Center.Now everyone was afraid to travel.Having already been out of operation for 14 months, Concorde was unable to recover from this second financial whammy.Solomon, known for his good advice, said, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.”Then he followed this eye-of-the-tiger pitch by saying in the next verse,“I have seen something else under the sun:The race is not to the swiftor the battle to the strong,      nor does food come to the wise      or wealth to the brilliant      or favor to the learned;      but time and chance happen to them all.”– Ecclesiastes chapter 9Robbie Burns agreed with Solomon’s assessment of time and chance. Apologizing to a mouse whose burrow he accidentally uncovered while plowing his field, he said most famously in 1785: “The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”I share these things with you because I know some of you are facing failure. Don’t let it bother you. Failure, like success, is a temporary condition. Tomorrow is a brand new day.FAILURE: Because sometimes your very best just isn’t good enough.Amen. Now we’re done with it. Turn your face to the rising sun.Tigers are happiest when they’re chasing their dinner.Even when they fail to catch it, the chase is fun.Let your tiger run.Roy H. Williams

These are the noises companies makeas they’re going down the tubes:1. “Our only problem is traffic.”Slow traffic is a symptom, not a disease. Look for its cause. WHY is traffic slow? Is it because the public doesn’t know about you, or is it because they do? Is the problem with your advertising, or is there something wrong inside your business?2. “That’s not our customer.”The businessperson who says things like, “Our customer doesn’t care about price,” is usually surprised by how quickly he runs out of prospects. Are there customers out there who don’t care about price? Sure there are. But what percentage of the population do you think it is?3. “Our advertising is reaching the wrong people.”I’ve never seen a company fail because they were reaching the wrong people, but I’ve seen hundreds fail because they were saying the wrong things. Do your ads speak to the felt needs of your customers, or are you answering questions no one was asking?4. “I don’t worry about what the competition is doing.      I only worry about what we’re doing.”Is there a game that rewards a player for ignoring the moves of his opponent? If there is, I’ve never heard of it. Business is competitive and you’re not the only player in the game. Like it or not, you’re being compared to competitors in the mind of your customer.5. “There's enough business out there for all of us.”A limited number of dollars are going to be spent in your business category this year. Are your competitors going to make sure you get your fair share?6. “We can’t compete with the internet.”The idea that the internet is a low-overhead business environment is a myth. Other than the cost of occupancy (rent,) the costs of doing business online are essentially the same as for brick-and-mortar businesses. The average brick-and-mortar store spends about 5 percent of its annual sales on rent. If online companies had no offices, no shipping facilities, no warehouses or other physical presence, they could still offer only a 5 percent price advantage to your customer. If you’re not competitive with the internet, you need to take a close look at how you’re buying. You need to comb through your payroll, your miscellaneous expenses and your G&A. Your problem is inside your own house.7. “Our secret is our people.No one provides as warm a customer experience as we do.”In 30 years as a consultant, I’ve known dozens of business owners who have convinced themselves that having “better people” was their store’s primary advantage. In every instance, the store’s prices were high, their merchandise was unremarkable and their people were average. (Even if your staff is exceptional, the worst thing to advertise is remarkable customer service. The expectations of the public will be raised to impossible levels. Promise it and you’ll hear nothing but endless complaints. I’ve made the mistake more than once.)How Did You Score?You’re Average if you’ve heard yourself say just one or two of these things. Hopefully, you’ve recovered from your wrong-headed thinking and are on the road to right action.You’ve Got a Problem if you’re guilty of saying three or four of these things. If you want to recover, you need to start associating with people who will smack you when you start talking nonsense. Surround yourself with friends who won’t let you slide sideways into delusional excuses.You’re in Real Trouble if you're saying five of these things. It’s like a drug habit. You say these things to reduce your anxiety and ease the pain of failure much like an addict takes a perspective-altering pill to help him make it through the day. Rehab is going to be tough, but you can survive if you dig deep and awaken the tiger in you. Clean out the closets of your mind, throw out the trash and gain a clean perspective. Fight to survive.You’re Not Going to Make It if you’re making six of these statements. Can you hear the fat lady singing? I don’t mean to be harsh, but you really ought to throw in the towel and find something to do with your life that will make you happy. This obviously isn’t working.You’re Not Saying Any of Those Things?Excellent! Go, the world is yours for the taking.Roy H. Williams

Some people say a recession is coming.Others say it’s already here.Experts say the best way to start a recession is to predict one’s on the way. So hey, I’m not predicting a recession, okay? REMEMBER! If a recession sneaks up on us in 2008, do NOT blame it on me.Did your elementary school have fire drills?Step 1. Get in a straight line.Step 2. Walk orderly down the hallway and out the door.Step 3. Don’t stop until you get to the far edge of the playground.In my elementary school, we also practiced what to do in case of nuclear attack:Step 1. Crawl under your desk.Step 2. Put your head between your knees.Then in High School we learned Step 3 when we saw it on a poster. You remember Step 3, don't you? “Kiss your ass goodbye.”A recession is like a fire, a regular run-of-the-mill, garden variety, five-and-dime fire. Nothing special. Nothing nucular.*So here’s what to do if a recession happens: (And I’m definitely NOT saying one’s coming, remember? Let’s be clear about that.)1.   Evaluate your risk orientation. “Got guts?”2.   Summon your staying power. “Got tenacity?”3.   Think forward, into the future. Ask, “What will I wish I had done?”(Answer: You’ll wish you would’ve grabbed market share while it was lying unprotected for the taking.)4.   Return in your mind to the present time.5.   Do what you wish you’d have done. Grab that unguarded market share while everyone else sits on their hands and waits for Good Times to come home.Market share is easily won when your competitors are cutting expenses. The big frustration comes when you learn that growing your market share doesn’t mean an immediate increase in revenues. Here’s an example:10 million dollars change hands each year in your market category.The category contains 10 competitors.The Big Gorilla does 2 million.The Principal Challenger does 1.5.The remaining 8 of you split 6.5 million.You’re a slightly taller-than-average midget doing a smooth 1 million. (The other 7 midgets do about $800,000 apiece.)You come alive during the recession and double your market share.But the market has shrunk from 10 million dollars to just 5 million.Congratulations. You now control 20 percent of the market. But you’re still doing just 1 million.Doesn’t quite feel like a victory, does it? Be patient. When money begins to flow again – and it will – you’ll find you’ve become a major force in your category. And you've got momentum.When times are good and money is abundant, it’s easy to coast on yesterday’s reputation. You’ve seen it happen. But when there’s not enough business to go around, the rules revert to survival of the fittest. This is when courageous little companies leapfrog their traditional masters and leave them on the trail behind.My elementary school never had a fire.But it seemed prudent to have a plan regarding how to behave should a fire occur.Roy H. Williams

In the Land of the Way Things Ought to BeI’m handsome and wealthy and strong and free.But in the Land of the Way Things Really AreI’m struggling and awkward, a bit bizarre.I threw a party, invited my friendsFrom the Land of the Way It Might Have Been.They were heartbroken. A man named RegretSaid they had gotten all they would get.An Ambassador came, toupee in handFrom nostalgic Way-It-Used-to-Be Land,Whose sad power comes from cellophane tapeOn the box from which we try to escape.War was declared by the Land of Who CaresOn the Used-to-Be, and all that is theirs.“You don’t matter at all!” the Who-Cares cried,“You said we had to, but we found you lied!”Then there came from the Way It’s Always BeenTen clones who bellowed, “Transgression and sin!”They put their strength on the Used-to-Be side,Shouting as one, “By these rules we abide!”Onto the scene from the Land of Up YoursRan ten independents into the warsWhose only concern was not being heldTo standards imposed by heads that are swelled.And all of this caused a deeper chagrinAmong those of the Way It Might Have Been.“Can’t we all be friends?” they asked with big eyes,Amidst the Up-Yours shouts and the Who-Cares cries.But their pleas were drowned by the blood and noiseOf the late-arriving Gonna-Be boysWhose only agenda was loud and longDismissal of those who said they were wrong.And into the darkness the sparks did flyAnd lifted like prayers into the sky‘Til God stuck his fingers into his earsAnd from his mouth flowed the music of spheres:The sound of planets in orbit whirling,The sound of lavender sunsets swirling,The sound of smoke from a campfire curling,The sound of a wondrous truth unfurling.But none hears the music as they collideShouting “Beauty Herself is on our side!”None hears the music. Not one of these KingsSees beauty in what the other one brings.And the battle does rage, bubble and fizzIn the Land of the Way It Always Is. Are you a cartoonist, sketch artist or illustrator? A water colorist, oil painter or photographer?Wizard Academy Press is creating an online gallery of images inspired by the whimsical new poem, Wrong Turn Taken on the Straight and Narrow by Roy H. Williams. You can submit a single image or a series of images to illustrate the story. The truly ambitious might even illustrate each of the 23 scenes as though they were the text of a Dr. Seuss-type children’s book for children over the age of 30.Who knows? Maybe it will someday be published like that.Each entrant will be rewarded with a gift from Wizard Academy Press chosen specifically for them by Roy H. Williams. There's even an outside chance you might win a full scholarship to attend classes at Wizard Academy.If Wrong Turn Taken on the Straight and Narrow becomes more than just an online thing and actually gets printed as a physical book and your illustrations are used in it, you will receive 50 free copies of the book and $1,500 in cash for the use of your images.Submissions must be received as jpeg files or pdf files or streaming video files by [email protected] no later than midnight Sunday, January 6, 2008.All submissions become the property of Wizard Academy Press.Aren't you anxious to see what you'll receive as your gift for participating?Happy Holidays.Arooo! Aroo-Arooooo!Roy H. Williams

America’s Thanksgiving holiday originated when the Pilgrims gave thanks to God for sending them an Indian friend named Squanto. This much you already knew. What you didn’t know is that long before the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock, this same Squanto had been captured by two English sea captains, George Weymouth and John Hunt, and abused as a slave for fourteen years. Squanto had been free less than five years when Capt. John Bradford’s Pilgrims arrived on the good ship Mayflower.    Squanto had every reason to organize a killing party and wipe out the pale-skinned invaders, but he chose to help them instead. Gazing with pity at Bradford’s pathetic band of would-be settlers as they huddled around Plymouth Rock, Squanto thought, “If I don’t help these silly white men, they’re all going to die in the coming winter.” And with that, he walked out of the woods and introduced himself.     Squanto died two years later of a disease contracted from these same Europeans.    When I was a boy, all the movies were about heroic cowboys and evil Indians. And in virtually every one of them, courageous settlers had to circle the wagons to defend themselves against unprovoked attacks from ape-like savages who said things like, “Ugh. Me want’um whiskey.”     Would you like to know how Indians actually spoke back then? Consider the musings of Ispwo Mukika Crowfoot, a Blackfoot Indian who was twenty years old in 1803, the same year that Lewis and Clark launched their famous expedition. As he lay dying, Ispwo left us with these last words: “What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.”    Was Ispwo Crowfoot a particularly eloquent Indian? Not at all. Fifty-nine years earlier, when George Washington was just a twelve-year-old boy, the Collected Chiefs of the Indian Nations met to discuss a letter from the College of William & Mary suggesting that they “send twelve of their young men to the college, that they might be taught to read and write.” The Chiefs sent the following reply:Sirs,    We know that you highly esteem the kind of learning taught in Colleges, and that the Maintenance of our young Men, while with you, would be very expensive to you. We are convinc’d, therefore, that you mean to do us Good by your Proposal; and we thank you heartily. But you, who are wise, must know that different Nations have different Conceptions of things; and you will therefore not take it amiss, if our Ideas of this kind of Education happen not to be the same with yours. We have some experience of it. Several of our Young People were formerly brought up at the colleges of the Northern Provinces; they were instructed in all your sciences; but, when they came back to us they were bad Runners, ignorant of every means of living in the Woods, unable to bear either Cold or Hunger, knew neither how to build a cabin, take a Deer, or kill an Enemy, spoke our Language imperfectly, were therefore neither fit for Hunters, Warriors, nor Counselors; they were totally good for nothing. We are, however, not the less oblig’d by your kind Offer, tho’ we decline accepting it; and, to show our grateful Sense of it, if the Gentlemen of Virginia will send us a Dozen of their Sons, we will take care of their Education; instruct them in all we know, and make Men of them.    I wish I could have met the collected chiefs who wrote that letter. I wish I could have known Ispwo Crowfoot.    I’m really glad they don’t make cowboy and Indian movies anymore.Roy H. Williams

TIGER ONE:Are you trying to Grow a business, Build a career, Overcome an obstacle?“Those who expect moments of change to be comfortable and free of conflict have not learned their history.” – Joan Wallach ScottFerocity is a wondrous tool.STOP. Read no further1.   if you are proud of your passivity,2.   if you are offended by reading a vulgar word (as opposed to seeing it represented by a first letter and a series of dashes,)3.   if you are angered by your own mortality.TIGER TWO:“When the stars threw down their spears and watered heaven with their tears, did he smile his work to see? Did he who made the lamb make thee? Tyger! Tyger! burning bright in the forests of the night, what immortal hand or eye dare frame thy fearful symmetry?” – William Blake, (1757-1827)Yes, Blake was right. He who gently made the lamb made the tiger also.Ah, ferocity is a wondrous tool.Pursue your goals with ferocity and singularity of purpose.TIGER THREE:When you choose a goal to pursue, do you ask, “Is this a mountain I’m willing to die on?”You should. For we begin to die the day we are born.“I used to stop for a long time in front of the tiger’s cage to see him pacing back and forth. I liked his natural beauty, his black stripes and his golden stripes. And now that I am blind, one single color remains for me, and it is precisely the color of the tiger, the color yellow.” – Jorge Luis BorgesWith every exhalation, we die a little. A moment is gone, a precious grain of sand from the tiny hourglass of life.Each of us chooses the path we will walk, the mountain on which we will die. Have you chosen yours?TIGER FOUR:“When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.” – George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)    A man kills a tiger from a distance. But a tiger kills a man face to face, looking into his eyes, saddened by what must be done to survive.I used a shotgun to kill a little bird on a snowy day when I was eleven. Then, as I looked down from Mount Olympus at the shattered angel in his crystal tomb, I covered him with a tear and swore that I would hunt no more until little birds were given shotguns.Yes, Tiger, you will make mistakes and have regrets.But you will also make a family and have a life.TIGER FIVE:“Time is the substance I am made of. Time is a river that carries me away, but I am the river; it is a tiger that mangles me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire that consumes me, but I am the fire. The world, alas, is real; I, alas, am Borges.” – Jorge Luis BorgesWith every step we take we reach a point of no return, and wonder what might have been.Am I trying to bring you down? No, I’m trying to stimulate you, wake you up, raise you from your stupor.The grains of sand are falling, friend.TIGER SIX:“There’s a tendency today to absolve individuals of moral responsibility and treat them as victims of social circumstance. You buy that; you pay with your soul. What limits people is lack of character. What limits people is that they don’t have the nerve to star in their own fucking movie, let alone direct it.” – Tom Robbins   TIGER SEVEN:Carpe Diem. Seize the day. It is yours.Roy H. Williams

I thought Bill Clinton was a good president for the same reason I thought Ronald Reagan was good; both were excellent head cheerleaders.Their politics, personalities and characters were different, but each had a similar ability to keep things from spinning out of control.Every organization has a head cheerleader.Their business card usually says “manager.”The head cheerleader’s job is to keep talented hotheads, sycophantic suck-ups, whining excuse-makers, moon-eyed lunatics and plodding paranoids all headed in the same general direction. They have to make everyone feel like everything is going to be all right. Are there really people who can do this job?Thrown into the deep water at 26, I was possibly the worst manager ever to assume the position. But over the years I’ve had a chance to observe the great ones, and I’ve noticed an unusual but recurrent characteristic: Great managers are rarely excellent at any of the things they manage.Great coaches are great, not because they were superstars, but because they know how to awaken the star that sleeps in each of the players around them.Great managers don’t show you photos from their own vacation, they ask to see the photos from yours. And it makes them happy to see you had a wonderful time.Great managers look for things to praise in their people, knowing that it takes 7 positive strokes to recover from each negative reprimand. Think about it. If seven out of eight encounters we receive an authentic, affirming comment, a bit of happy news or a piece of valuable insight from our boss, we love to see them coming down the hall. But if the typical encounter leaves us deflated, discouraged or scared, our hearts sink when we see the manager coming.Do your people love to see you coming? If not, begin looking for things to praise. Keep your ratio of positive comments 7 times higher than your negative ones and they’ll soon begin to smile when they see you appear. Their newfound attitude and confidence will bring new levels of productivity. And all because you believed they could do it and made them believe it, too.Great managers are never afraid to hire people better than themselves.Each of the 217 times David Ogilvy opened a new office for Ogilvy & Mather, he left a set of Russian nesting dolls on the desk of the incoming manager. When the manager removed the top half from the largest of these bowling pin-shaped dolls, he or she found a slightly smaller doll inside. This continued until the manager came to the tiniest doll and retrieved from its interior what looked to be the note from a fortune cookie: “If each of us hires people smaller than ourselves, we shall become a company of midgets. But if each of us hires people bigger than ourselves, we shall become a company of giants. – David Ogilvy.”Now walk down the hall and find a sleeping superstar disguised as a plodding paranoid. For each of the next 21 days, compliment that person every time you see them take a right action.Then prepare to meet a whole new employee on the 22nd day. Don’t be surprised if they have the same name as the plodding paranoid that used to stink up the place.Go. The hallway awaits you.Roy H. Williams

When The Cluetrain Manifesto was published in 1999, it smacked of silly futurism, like Maxwell Smart’s shoe-phone and Dick Tracey’s TV-wristwatch.Both of which are now possible.Likewise, the societal shift predicted by The Cluetrain is already happening. Can you feel it?Here’s a look at a few of the 95 Theses of The Cluetrain Manifesto. These statements were laughed at when they first appeared 8 years ago, but no one's laughing anymore:1. Markets are conversations.Are your ads a conversation with your customer, or are they a pompous lecture?2. Markets consist of human beings, not demographic sectors.Are you marketing to people with names and faces and favorite places, or are you marketing to a “target”?3. Conversations among human beings sound human. They are conducted in a human voice.Are your ads written the way people talk, or the way ads talk?4. Whether delivering information, opinions, perspectives, dissenting arguments or humorous asides, the human voice is typically open, natural, uncontrived.Would the public describe your ads as “open, natural and uncontrived”?15. In just a few more years, the current homogenized “voice” of business – the sound of mission statements and brochures – will seem as contrived and artificial as the language of the 18th century French court.Wow. That's already happening. You've noticed it, haven't you?22. Getting a sense of humor does not mean putting some jokes on the corporate web site. Rather, it requires big values, a little humility, straight talk, and a genuine point of view.What are your values? Do you admit your mistakes? Do you talk straight, or go sideways? Are you willing to say what you really think?23. Companies attempting to “position” themselves need to take a position. Optimally, it should relate to something their market actually cares about.I've said it often: “Most ads aren't written to persuade. They're written not to offend.” Do you have the courage to take a position and suffer the wrath of those who disagree? Will you choose who to lose?24. Bombastic boasts – “We are positioned to become the preeminent provider of XYZ” – do not constitute a position.In my 1998 book, The Wizard of Ads, the fourth of my Twelve Most Common Mistakes in Advertising (chapter 35) was: “Unsubstantiated Claims. Advertisers often claim to have what the customer wants, such as 'highest quality at the lowest price,' but fail to offer any evidence. An unsubstantiated claim is nothing more than a cliché the prospect is tired of hearing. You must prove what you say in every ad. Do your ads give the prospect new information? Do they provide a new perspective? If not, be prepared to be disappointed with the results.”Is your business in step with the fast-coming future?2007 is winding to a close. We’re only Thanksgiving and Christmas away from a sparkling New Year’s Day.Then, Bang! 2008.You need to be in Austin December 12-14 if you want to make 2008 the best year your business has ever had.The internet has become our phone book, dictionary, encyclopedia, sales brochure, research vehicle and back fence for gossip. Like it or not, you're going to have to do a better job online if you want to flex your muscles in 2008.Come. We’ll give you exactly the tools you need. In just 3 days you’ll learn the new rules of communication and we’ll demonstrate specific techniques that will allow you to apply these new rules to your own situation.It’s an event that happens only once a year. It'll be Jeff and Bryan Eisenberg and me and a bunch of nuts and bolts. You coming?Roy H. Williams

Procedural Memory is the key to your brand being automatically remembered.Accomplish this through Relevance x Repetition.Symbolic Thought is how to make a brand meaningful.Access this by linking the unknown to the known.Particle Conflict is the way to make a brand interesting.Achieve this by adding an element that doesn’t belong, but fits.There’s a trend in marketing today to make brands “fully integrated” and “seamless.” In other words, to eliminate all incongruity and surprise.Shallow blands are fully integrated and seamless. To be deep and attractive, a brand must have incongruent characteristics that make it interesting.Just like a person.Francis Bacon said it 400 years ago: “There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.”The most boring person in your life is the one “fully integrated and seamless.” Such people are painfully predictable.Delight is built on surprise. Comedy requires it. Predictability is death to the imagination, strangulation to the soul, a suffocation of the spirit.What is interestingly incongruent in your ads, your sermons, your sales pitches, your songs?Don’t listen to your friends and neighbors. They can tell you only what kinds of ads, sermons, pitches and songs they prefer to see and hear. They cannot tell you what will actually work.Young people in advertising have enthusiasm, theories, and fresh ideas. Old coots have experience and answers. It takes years of experiments and mountains of money to discover what will and will not work.Do you want to spend your own years and mountains? Or would you prefer to listen to a coot?Roy H. Williams

“I’m a surfer,” she said as she extended her hand.It almost broke my heart.Her husband had moved her into a tiny fixer-upper on the tear-stained cheek of an Oklahoma town. With a young child dangling from each of her arms and a third one on the way, she needed us to see her as she had been.“I’m a surfer.”Please understand that in my heart I’m reckless and free under an open sky. Please. I need this.“I’m Roy and this is my wife, Pennie. Welcome to the neighborhood.”Show me what a person admires and I’ll tell you everything about them that matters.And then you’ll know how to connect with them.You’ll know how to cheer up your new neighbor when you understand what she admires.You’ll know how to sell the man looking into your face when you understand what he admires.You’ll know how to attract future customers through your ads when you understand what they admire.Have you ever peeked into the childish dreams of the people who would buy from you? If so, you’ve got the essence of a powerful, persona-based ad campaign. But never assume you can learn of your customer’s dreams by asking.Dreams are hidden in dark closets of the heart because our truest motives often embarrass us. So we craft logical, comfortable lies to justify what our childlike hearts have chosen. And then we tell these lies and believe we’re telling the truth:“I bought it for the gas mileage.”The prestige of owning a new car had nothing to do with it?“I read it for the articles.”You’ve never noticed the photos of the naked girls?“I’m only doing this job until something better comes along.”It scares you to believe this is as good as it gets?Learn the common hungers of your customers and you’ll know the words to use in your ads.“Freedom” is a magnetic word to a person who is feeling trapped.“Familiar” is a comforting word to a person who feels life is spinning out of control.“Defiant” is an attractive word to a person who’s angry.“Together” is a magical word to a person who feels alone.“Meaningful” is a powerful word to a person feeling empty.All of us are broken a little. And the most badly broken are those who feel they are not.I’m always hesitant to pull back the curtain and show you the realities of effective marketing. Robert Louis Stevenson said it best:“There is nothing more disenchanting to man than to be shown the springs and mechanism of any art. All our arts and occupations lie wholly on the surface; it is on the surface that we perceive their beauty, fitness, and significance; and to pry below is to be appalled by their emptiness and shocked by the coarseness of the strings and pulleys.”I think that’s all I’m going to say today.Roy H. Williams

Think too deeply about customer profiling and you’ll soon fall into niche marketing.And the problem with niches is they’re not created equal.Have you chosen a niche too small?Reis and Trout inadvertently popularized niches in their extraordinary 1981 book, Positioning: the Battle for Your Mind. That book taught us to consider the strengths of our competitors and the “positions” they occupy in the customer’s mind before embarking on our own journeys of self-identification. But many who read Positioning saw it only as a treatise on niche marketing. They were wrong.Chris Anderson openly celebrated niches in last year’s book, The Long Tail, which was likewise misunderstood.Tragically, the seductive logic of niche marketing makes perfect sense even when it does not apply.Here’s a classic example:A dentist in a small town came to me for consultation. He no longer wanted to see 6 or 7 patients a day who required only a thousand dollars worth of dentistry apiece. He had chosen a niche and wanted me to create a marketing strategy whereby he would see only 1 or 2 patients a day who required 10 thousand to 30 thousand dollars worth of dentistry each. “And make sure that all of them have the money. Lots of people need that much dental work, but most of them don’t have the money.”I fear he left disappointed. There just aren’t enough rich people with bad teeth in the average small town. My friend had chosen a niche too small.Some of my clients serve larger populations that allow us to successfully target a niche. But when onlookers see this success and assume the same strategy will work in their own small towns, the niche-devil shows his horns.Considering a niche? Do the math.Be detached and objective. This isn’t a time for wishful thinking.If your marketplace isn’t big enough for niche marketing, you can still embrace (1.) positioning, and (2.) persona-based ad writing, a technique that speaks to personality type and appeals to a significant percentage of readers even when those readers are randomly chosen.Persona-based writing is built upon a customer’s preferred style of buying.Niche marketing is built upon your own preferred style of selling.Positioning is built around the strengths of your competitors.Each of these is a decision-making technique, a perspective we bring to the creative process.Persona-based writing is about your customer’s personality, not their demographic profile. To what personality types are your ads currently written?Positioning is about the realities of the marketplace. Your competitors occupy positions in the mind of your customer. Do you recognize these positions, or are you navigating with your eyes closed?Niche marketing is about specialization, focused inventories, narrow training, becoming the king of an available kingdom. But before you plop your heinie on the throne, be sure the kingdom you’ve selected has enough subjects to provide you the living you desire.Advertising cannot create population.Please don’t let anyone tell you that it can.Roy H. Williams

People are more interesting than non people.Mingle a bit of wood, paint and cloth, then drench the pile in sparkling imagination and a new person leaps onto the stage.Few techniques in communication are as powerful – or as often overlooked – as personification: ascribing human characteristics to inanimate objects.It turns dead corporate brands into living persons. Who are the Keebler Elves, the Jolly Green Giant, Mr. Clean and Ronald McDonald if not personifications of the brands they represent?This memo isn’t about clumsy corporate cartoon characters. Personification is much bigger and more elegant than mere mascots and logos. When conceived in words, lively words, personification summons the imagination and triggers the emotions.Listen to how Robert Frost gives human characteristics to inanimate objects in his storm poem, Once by the Pacific:The shattered water made a misty din.Great waves looked over others coming in,And thought of doing something to the shoreThat water never did to land before.The clouds were low and hairy in the skies,Like locks blown forward in the gleam of eyes.You could not tell, and yet it looked as ifThe shore was lucky in being backed by cliff,The cliff in being backed by continent;It looked as if a night of dark intentWas coming, and not only a night, an age.Someone had better be prepared for rage.There would be more than ocean-water brokenBefore God's last 'Put out the Light' was spoken.Waves looked over others and thought of doing something to the shore, which was lucky in being backed by cliff?Personification. Can you do it? Can you speak a person into existence?Herman Melville did it 156 years ago in 3 short words, “Call me Ishmael.”I did it 12 years ago in 5 words for Rolex and Everest, “…the world’s most angry mountain.”Apple is doing it in 7 words right now. “I’m a Mac.” “And I’m a PC.”(Did it ever occur to you that the audio track from these ads would work even better on radio than it does on TV? Evidently, it’s never occurred to anyone who sells radio airtime, either.)We gaze longer at pictures that have people in them than at pictures that have no people. I believe the same is true of words. We pay more attention to words that tell us of people than to words that don’t.That’s enough rambling for one Monday morning. Now go look Today in the eyes, smile sweetly and say, “I own you. You’re mine. You’re happy and warm and comforting and good and if you think for one second that I’m going to let you be otherwise, you’re sadly mistaken.”Be firm. Days can become unruly if you let them.Roy H. Williams

Most of us are out of balance and suffering for it. We’re either too pragmatic or too romantic.The pragmatist never stops to smell the roses. “What’s the use? Just get the job done, move onward and upward. Winners never quit and quitters never win.”The romantic smells the roses and gets misty-eyed. “Roses are so meaningful. Let’s sit down and talk about our feelings and listen to some music and understand.”You realize I’m not talking about actual flowers, right? I’m talking about the pitfalls of a too-flowery life and the emptiness of a life without them. I’m talking about the dangers of a lopsided perspective.Good things come into conflict. And there is no choice so difficult as the choice between two good things.Justice or mercy?Honesty or loyalty?Inspiration or accuracy?Time or money?Science or romance?Which way do you lean?A weak student will choose one side of a duality and disparage the other side while a brilliant student will stand between the poles and feel the energy that passes between them.F. Scott Fitzgerald put it this way, “The test of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.”Life is a tightrope.Leaning is dangerous.Balance is what you need.“In fact, romanticism and science are good for each other. The scientist keeps the romantic honest and the romantic keeps the scientist human.” – Tom Robbins, Another Roadside Attraction, 1971I’m not suggesting that you seek watery compromise, that mind-numbing “happy medium” cherished by the frightened and the weak. I’m suggesting you find the electricity that flows when two poles of a duality are brought into close proximity.Electricity is not a compromise. It is an altogether third, new thing that emerges from two potentials. “And so I will tell them one of the greatest, perhaps the greatest story of all – the story of good and evil, of strength and weakness, of love and hate, of beauty and ugliness. I shall try to demonstrate to them how these doubles are inseparable – how neither can exist without the other and how out of their groupings creativeness is born.” – John Steinbeck, East of Eden, 1952Can you see the truth in opposite possibilities?Your opponent isn't always an idiot.Your adversary isn't always evil.Learn to love your enemy and feel fully alive.Reach for the electricity.Roy H. Williams

At first glance it would appear that Vince Poscente and I stand for exactly opposite things.Vince is all about speed. His mantra seems to be, “You don’t have to choose; you can have it all. And you don’t have to wait, you can have it now.”Yes, at first glance it would be easy to write Poscente off as just another preacher of gimmicks and hype. But that would be a mistake.Vince challenges the fable of the Tortoise and the Hare in chapter six, Naughty, Naughty Speed. “The hare doesn’t lose because he’s fast – speed does not work against him in any way. And the tortoise doesn’t win because he is slow. The hare loses because he makes a ridiculous choice about how to spend his time.”Time. Focus. Purpose. Clarity. Commitment. These are the things Vince Poscente talks about. I like him.You and I know the world is changing at an unprecedented rate. The big fish are no longer eating the little fish. The fast fish are eating the slow.Lee Iacocca, in his just-released book, Where Have All the Leaders Gone? says, “When you stop to think about it, most of the great companies of our times began as upstarts – Little Davids taking on big Goliaths. When I first heard about Fred Smith, the guy who created Federal Express, I thought the idea was crazy. I remember thinking, He’s going to take on the post office? Today Federal Express does such a huge business that even the U.S. Postal Service hires it to move a billion dollars in packages every year.”My problem with the rabbit in the fable is the problem I have with all traditional preachers of speed: they almost always lack commitment. They’re all huzzah and high-fives until Adversity rears his ugly wolf-snout and then the twitchy little bastards scatter like the rabbits they are.Vince Poscente is not a twitchy little rabbit. He’s an Olympic speed skier who loves the feeling of standing still at 200 kilometers per hour.My favorite chapter in his book is number twenty-nine, Racing Across a Tightrope. “One after another, each of us started across the tightrope, believing we could win. And one after another, each of us failed. No one won the race because no one could stay on the rope. We’d hold our arms out to our sides, keep our eyes on the rope, and carefully place one foot in front of the other. We’d concentrate all our energy on going fast and not falling – but then we’d fall. Again. And again. Once we had accumulated enough bruising and humiliation, the coach let us in on a little secret: to go fast, stop focusing on the rope and start focusing on the destination.”It reminded me of what Peter learned in that famous walking-on-water incident.Gosh, I’ve already written 478 words, yet I’ve barely scratched the surface of what Poscente has to say.Let me accelerate for you: The book is about using speed to reduce the stress in your life.I hate stress. If you do too, read the book. It just hit the New York Times bestseller list.Now for some fun: Vince has created an insightful, online survey exclusively for readers of The Monday Morning Memo of the Wizard of Ads. You’ll enjoy the questions; it’s a fun survey to take. Even better, Vince is going to calculate our answers as a group and then let us see how similar, or dissimilar, we are to the general population.Ready to take the survey?Look for the results in next week’s Monday Morning Memo.Roy H. Williams

I learned last week why I’m no good at making small talk. The realization blew my mind.Pennie and I were sitting in the sun room looking at our computers when she asked, “Did you get the email from Janet?”“Yes.”“Should I answer it or will you?”“You, please. I have no idea how to respond.”Pennie smiled her knowing smile and began to type for both of us. Our friend Janet had sent us an email “just to stay in touch.” I enjoyed reading it, was glad she had sent it, but when it came to typing a response I was paralyzed.“How’s this?” Pennie asked.I looked at what she had written and was flabbergasted, “Princess, you are the smartest person in the world.”Pennie smiled, then looked curiously concerned. Closing her computer, she asked, “Why is it so hard for you to make small talk?”She knows that chitchatting with people is hell for me. Friends who know us casually think of me as quiet and mousy, “the guy who never says anything,” or ferociously unfriendly, “the guy with the giant ego.”I looked at Pennie’s face and saw she expected an answer.“Well,” I began slowly, “when a person says something like, “How about this day we’re having!” or asks one of those filler questions like, “How have you been?” every response that pops into my head strikes me as being utterly irrelevant or makes me look completely self absorbed.”That was the Eureka moment. I think I may have actually gasped a little. With giant eyes I whispered, “It’s from all the years of ad writing!”People who’ve seen me speak from a platform know I’m the king of forceful statements, persuasive arguments and ribald ripostes. But social situations require low-impact statements, the kind I guard against every day. I’m the bounty hunter who looks for words without impact and makes them disappear. My job is to keep my clients from making irrelevant statements in their advertising and make sure they never seem self-absorbed.I’m less embarrassed by my awkwardness now. I think of it almost like a war wound, “Gather ‘round, children, and I’ll tell you how I got these scars.” How’s that for putting a spin on it?Somewhere in this world is the most extraordinary ad writer on earth. I have no idea who he is.The only thing I can tell you for sure is that he is socially very awkward.Roy H. Williams

A check arrives in my office and a one-day meeting is scheduled. The business owner arrives on the appointed day.This is going to be tough. It always is.To earn my money, I must take the client through 5 steps that are easy to understand but hard to do. This is the process my staff and I use to grow little companies into big ones. But our magic can’t happen until we’ve extracted these answers from our client.1. Focus.What are we trying to make happen? How will we measure success? See it clearly. Say it plainly.2. Evaluate.What is the competitive environment? Do we understand the felt needs of our prospective customer? What is holding us back? Name the limiting factors.3. Prioritize.When two of our goals come into conflict, which one bows the knee? Prioritize our objectives.4. Strategize.What would be the shortest route to our primary goal? What levers might we use to dislodge impediments? How might we nullify other limiting factors? Are we willing to modify the business model? This is the moment when the future is won or lost.5. Implement.Are we willing to pull the trigger? Lets quit talking and DO something. Nothing changes until action is taken.Seventy-five or eighty percent of the time we can tell business owners how to get to the next level and they’re happy with us. But about 1 in 5 business owners will fixate on a symptom and refuse to see the root disease. Here’s what it can look like:I ask, “What are we trying to make happen?”“Traffic is flat. We need more traffic.”After evaluating the limiting factors, I say, “Your media plan indicates that you’re already reaching more than enough people to achieve your goal. You’ll have more traffic when you have a stronger message. What new message are you willing to give me?”“Can’t we just say more strongly what we’ve been saying all along?”“No. The limitation isn’t the language; it’s the message itself.“I don’t think we need a new message. We just need to use a different media. Which one do you recommend?”When the client’s self-analysis is wrong, they often grow frustrated when I refuse to join them in their delusion. “But Roy I don’t think you fully understand our essence. We truly love the customer. We treat them far better than any of our competitors. We greet them at the door with a smile, get them a cup of coffee or a soft drink and then listen attentively as they tell us about their problem. We provide a far superior experience. If only you could capture this and communicate it with a really great ad or through a more effective media, I just know our company would grow.”In the old days, I would accommodate these people by telling them that they weren’t on the right track and in my professional opinion their message plan couldn’t be made to work, “but if you insist, we’ll go ahead and do the best we can.”I no longer do this because I got tired of hearing the report, “Roy, we did exactly what you said and it didn’t work.”I’d rather be the jerk who refused to believe in your dream than the jerk whose ads didn’t work.There is no benefit in the perfect execution of a bad plan.Occasionally the client doesn’t have a marketing problem at all, but is limited by something else entirely. Here’s what happened during a recent session of Ocean’s 11 – Build Your Business.The client was Scott Fraser, one of my partners in Wizard of Ads, Inc. [Note: Scott paid the same price as every other participant in the class, even though he is a partner and a friend.]Aside from being a talented marketing consultant, Scott owns Milne Court, a gas station/convenience store near Halifax, Nova Scotia.I ask, “What are we trying to make happen?”“I want to increase the sales volume at Milne Court.”We go to step 2 and evaluate the limiting factors. “How many cars drive past the store each day?”“34,500”“How much gas would a successful station sell to that much traffic? Are there any industry statistics available?”“The oil companies say I can’t expect to sell more than 4 million liters per year.”“How much are you selling right now?”“About 5.5 million liters per year. (That’s almost 40 percent above the projected best-case scenario.) But the profit isn’t in the gas, it’s in the coffee and cookies and stuff they buy while they’re there.”“What’s the industry average for coffee and cookies bought by the typical person who stops for gas?”“About 2 dollars and 75 cents.”“What’s your average?”“About 5 dollars.”“Scott, you are the king. I bow before you. I don’t really think there’s anything I can suggest that’s going to make a significant difference in your sales volume.”At this point, steps 3 and 4 tumble on top of each other.“Scott, you need to open more locations.”“But I don’t want to spend the million and a half dollars it costs to open each new store.”“Then become a consultant to the thousands of gas station/convenience stores that are merely average. And if that category isn’t exciting enough for you, look for other retailers who have hundreds of cars parked in the

“When Death snatches your friend you walk into the darkness a little,calling his name, waiting to hear his voice in answer. It is a lonely and quiet time.”– Roy H. Williams, October 29, 2011, 5 days after the death of Woody Justice2007: I’m sitting in the grand ballroom of the Mandarin Oriental hotel in New York, surrounded by hundreds of people in tuxedoes and evening gowns. So this is a five star hotel, huh? Seven hundred dollars a night. Wow.The tuxes are jewelers from across America, gathered to witness this year’s induction of two luminaries into the Jewelers Hall of Fame. This year’s inductees were selected from more than 30,000 jewelers. The first honoree is Michael J. Kowalski, CEO of Tiffany.During his acceptance speech, Kowalski mentioned that although his company did more than 641 million dollars last quarter, “It’s really not that difficult to take a 200 year-old legendary brand to the next level. What I’ve done is nothing compared to my fellow honoree. Woody Justice is a man who started with nothing and built a jewelry store that’s known across America. And he did it in just 25 years.” The walls shook with thunderous applause as Woody Justice stepped up to the microphone. This was a man known to everyone in the room. His success in selling diamonds is the envy of jewelers everywhere.I was there with my wife, Pennie, because Woody has been a client and friend of ours for 20 years. Last year his Springfield, Missouri jewelry store did 35 times the sales volume it did in 1987. His current volume is 10 times the national jewelry store average and growing every year.Ninety percent of his ad budget goes to radio. For many years it was 100 percent, but then he began mailing personal invitations to customers for special events. He also supports the local arts community by purchasing ads in their programs and publications. He doesn’t buy these print ads because he thinks it’s an efficient use of ad dollars. He buys them because he’s a good guy and good guys support the community.Woody’s rise to the top began the day he realized that jewelry isn’t a visual product, it’s an emotional one. It’s a product of personal identity. It speaks of relationship and effort and commitment and achievement.And the best jewelry ads speak of precisely these same things.Here’s one of Woody’s most recent sixties:“Antwerp, Belgium, is no longer the diamond capitol of the world. Thirty-four hours on an airplane. One way. Thirty. Four. Hours. That’s how long it took me to get to where eighty percent of the world’s diamonds are now being cut. After 34 hours I looked bad. I smelled bad. I wanted to go to sleep. But then I saw the diamonds. Unbelievable. They told me I was the first retailer from North America ever to be in that office. Only the biggest wholesalers are allowed through those doors. Fortunately, I had one of ’em with me, a lifelong friend who was doing me a favor. Now pay attention, because what I’m about to say is really important: As of this moment, Justice Jewelers has the lowest diamond prices in America, and I’m including all the online diamond sellers in that statement. Now you and I both know that talk is cheap. So put it to the test. Go online. Find your best deal. Not only will Justice Jewelers give you a better diamond, we’ll give you a better price, as well. I’m Woody Justice, and I’m working really, really hard to be your jeweler. Thirty-four hours of hard travel, one way. I think you’ll be glad I did it.”Woody rarely runs ads that talk about having lower prices. Yes, price matters to diamond shoppers. But just claiming to have low prices is hardly effective. You’ve got to substantiate your claim by explaining why your store can offer better prices. And your explanation has to ring true in the hearts and minds of a jaded public.The style signature of a Woody Justice radio ad isn’t low prices, but blunt, brazen honesty tinged with glimpses of humor, wit and humility.You might also have noticed where he went was left out of the ad. This omission was intentional. It’s what I call a “word flag.” It’s an indirect way of measuring response to an ad. Can you imagine the number of people that asked, “So where did Woody go that took 34 hours to get there?” When dozens of customers are asking your salespeople this question every day, it’s a pretty good indication that the ads are working, don’t you think?And a sales volume that’s 10 times the national average is a pretty good indicator, too.Roy H. Williams

Are You Willing to Look Inside Yourself, Friend?Do you ever ask yourself hard-to-answer questions like, “What am I trying to make happen?” “How will I measure success?” “What is holding me back?”Rarely do we question our own objectives.Even more rarely do we question our emotions.People whose feelings ride close to the surface are quick to use words like “passion.” My good friend Marley said it one time too many the other day, so I interrupted, “Define passion for me please, but accurately, not poetically.”“What do you mean?”“Name the ingredients of passion.”I listened to my buddy ramble and fumble for a minute, then interrupted him by holding up a finger and saying, “One ingredient would be desire, don’t you think?”“Yes, desire is part of passion.”“What would be the second part?” I asked.Marley looked at me blankly for a moment, then raised his eyebrows and turned both his palms upward.I held up a second finger, “Commitment.”When Marley speaks of passion, he’s referring to desire with commitment. Unlike most people, Marley is willing to pay the price, suffer the consequences, live up to the obligations of the things he loves. But most people who say “passion” refer only to a desire that provides them escape from boredom.Have you chosen a purpose? Is your commitment to your purpose higher than your desire for personal comfort?Most people drift across the surface of life without ever seeing the guiding beacon of purpose. They fail to see it because they’re not looking for it.Purpose is more often chosen than appointed.Do you want to experience the joys and pains of it?Be careful what you wish for.You just might get it.Roy H. Williams

Advertising begins only after you win the attention of your target, a difficult thing to do in this overcommunicated world.May I suggest you do it like the Great Ones?When you’re ready to tell your story, choose an angle of approach.Then frame the scene. Decide what to include, what to leave out:Specifically, leave out:1.   anything the listener already knows or can easily figure out for themselves.2.   the name of the business anywhere it would not appear in normal conversation.3.   unsubstantiated claims.4.   clichés.5.   complicated ideas.6.   comparisons.7.   self-congratulatory pronouncements, such as “We’re the number one…”8.   statements that reflect your awareness of a competitor.9.   any promise you might fall short of delivering.10. adjectives that are not essential to the clarity of the message. The strongest ads use simple nouns and verbs with a minimum of modifiers.Choosing an angle is a bit trickier. You must find a perspective to introduce a new reality. Don’t just add incremental knowledge to what's already known. Introduce a thought that will stand taller than any other figure on the horizon of the mind. It's like setting the stage for a Broadway production, and it can always be done in a single sentence.Here’s a glimpse of how it’s done by the Great Ones:“It came down to this: if I had not been arrested by the Turkish police, I would have been arrested by the Greek police.” – Eric Ambler, the opening line of The Light of Day“My first act on entering this world was to kill my mother.” – William Boyd, the opening line of The New Confession“The schoolmaster was leaving the village, and everybody seemed sorry.” – Thomas Hardy, the opening line of Jude the Obscure“There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.” – C. S. Lewis, opening line from The Voyage of the Dawn Treader“He was one hundred and seventy days dying and not yet dead.” – Alfred Bester, the opening line of The Stars My Destination“You are standing in the snow, five and one-half miles above sea level, gazing at a horizon hundreds of miles away.” – Roy H. Williams, the opening line of a radio ad written for Rolex“I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.” – Unknown, the opening line of a TV ad written for Alka-SeltzerDid you notice how I slipped myself into that list of the Great Ones? I wouldn’t usually have done it but this is Monday and on Mondays I’m ebullient. It’s only on Tuesdays that I’m modest.Most people like me better on Tuesdays.Here are some typical opening lines from average ads. Compare them to the lines that come from unusual angles and better frame the the new perspective:Typical: McMorris Ford is having a Clearance Event!Unusual: We want to get rid of this new truck even more than you want to own it.Typical: Harvey Chevrolet is Going Out for Business!Unusual: Here at Harvey Chevrolet we’re tired of being average, so here’s what we’ve decided to do.Typical: Save up to 70 percent at Neederman Optical!Unusual: New eyeglasses cost like stink. You know it. We know it, too.Typical: Leroy’s Lawn Service has served the people of this city since 1972.Unusual: Life is too short and wonderful to spend it cutting your own grass.Typical: Juanita’s Mexican Café at the corner of Fifth and Madison serves authentic Mexican Food from 8AM till 8PM daily.Unusual: So you think you’ve had Mexican food, heh, Gringo?Choose an unusual angle of view and leave out the obvious. These are the keys to opening the mind’s eye.Do it when writing ads. Do it when making presentations.Now that I’ve explained how it’s done in words. Would you like me to show you how it’s done in pictures?As with every other archetypal truth, the principles will remain unchanged. Details of their application will be the only difference.Ready. Angle. Frame. Harness these ideas and your thoughts will gain speed and momentum.Pow.Roy H. Williams

The mind is full of clever ideas. But few of them will actually work.My friend John Young says, “A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. A wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid that mistake altogether.”But not everyone who makes a mistake gains useful knowledge from the experience. The average person explains away their failure, forever unwilling to stare into the light and see that their sacred cow was just a cow.Are you strong enough to see the truth and name it? Are you willing to identify the substance of your own mistakes? This humility is the key to progress.This week a man told me the story of Betty Crocker cake mixes, the kind of story that marketing people love to tell: “Betty Crocker failed at first because all you had to do was add milk. Women didn’t buy it because they felt they would be cheating their families. So the company took the powdered egg out of the mix. Then, when women had to add both milk and egg, they felt like they were ‘cooking’ and the product began to sell.”That person you see at the back of the room is me, holding up a little sign that says, “Piffle and Pooh.”Assuming that the basic facts are true, what probably happened is that the original mix produced a bad cake; powdered eggs are never as good as real ones. The explanation that “women didn’t feel like they were baking” is a romantic misinterpretation of the data.People make these excuses because it’s hard to say, “Our product fell below the customer’s expectations.” It’s easier to say, “we ran into unforeseeable circumstances.” A cardboard weasel will go so far as to paint his failure the color of success by claiming, “we were ahead of our time.”The problem with making excuses is that we convince ourselves they’re true, and in so doing, learn nothing. What we might have learned from the mistake is lost forever, buried under a pile of lies. And now history must repeat itself one more time.The weasel who announced the cake mix failed because “women are mysterious creatures” was not the last of his breed. This tendency to save face is why so few people who hold a job for ten years get ten years of experience. The average blame-shifter gets one year’s experience ten times. Don’t let this be you.To learn things most people will never know, you must:1.   Summon courage2.   See clearly3.   Swallow your pride.4.   Speak the truth.And be sure to run with the pacesetters, the risk-takers, the possibility thinkers, people who will try what’s never been done, hitters who keep their eye on the ball.And never forget: Stay at the plate until you get a hit. You’re not out until you quit trying. (The three-strike rule applies only to baseball. This is the game of life.)I’ve got a bat that will fit your hands perfectly.Think you can find your way to Wizard Academy?See you soon.Roy H. Williams

Brad Lawrence has been a client of my firm for 12 years. During that time, he’s grown his business beyond all expectations.Mostly because he’s got guts.Recently, Brad was looking at a sort of charm bracelet for his jewelry store. He could buy the base bracelets for 6 dollars apiece if he ordered at least 500. That would be $3,000. But his real investment would be another $30,000 for the countless beads and charms with which women could personalize their bracelets.His friends gave him lots of advice:“Charm bracelets are dead. That trend has come and gone.”“They’ll bring in the wrong customer. You’ll lose your reputation for upscale sophistication.”“It would cost more to advertise the charm bracelets than you could make on them.”What did Brad decide?He decided to order 500 bracelets and give them all away.My staff and I said “Hooray!”Here’s what his friends said:“People won’t value the bracelet if they get it for free.”“People will take the bracelets, then sell them on eBay.”“Giving away jewelry will make you look desperate.”But Brad knew the story of K.C. Gillette, the man who gave away 90,884 razor handles in 1904 in the hope of selling disposable blades. By 1910 he was one of the richest men in America. Last year his company did more than $9 billion.How did it work out for Brad?The 500 free bracelets were gone in less than a week.And within 6 weeks Brad had sold more than $100,000 worth of beads and charms. Only 28 people who took a bracelet failed to buy any ornaments for it.This week Brad told me, “Groups of women are coming into the store during their lunch hour to shop for ornaments, beads and charms. Every day is like a party. The traffic is amazing. We're making lots of new friends and winning lots of new customers. It was one of the smartest things we’ve ever done.”Brad Lawrence had the courage of his convictions. Do you?Life is more fun on the edge.And the view is better, too.Roy H. Williams

When I was in high school, it was considered a big deal if you could control a steel ball under a piece of glass with a couple of buttons that flipped little flippers. The steel ball would bounce from side to side and bells would ring and lights would light up. I could never quite see the point. There must be something wrong with me.I’ve since learned that it’s fashionable to be skilled at something pointless: carry a pointed ball across a white line on a field. Toss an orange ball through an iron ring. Drive a car in circles really fast.If I were normal, I would have favorite pointy-ball people, orange-ball people and circle-drivers. This is where I fall short. This is where I’m broken.I’ve never been quite sure where I went wrong.AWhen Did Macaroni Become “Pasta?”David Freeman asked the question. It seemed to emerge from nowhere.Tuscan Hall was filled with executives from the largest food companies in the world. He was in the midst of unveiling 2 new methods for accelerated branding when he stopped in mid-sentence and asked, “When did Macaroni become ‘Pasta?’”Then, without waiting for an answer, he continued what he’d been saying. The audience, absorbed in what David was teaching, forgot his non sequitur within the span of 3 adrenaline-fueled heartbeats.For me, it was just another glimpse into the inner dialogue of a strange and wonderful friend.I answered David in my mind. “Macaroni became ‘pasta’ on the same day the hobo became ‘the homeless,’ the trailer house became the ‘mobile home’ and stock-car racing became ‘NASCAR.’”It would appear we’ve chosen to celebrate the mundane, elevate the ordinary and idolize the average.I guess struggling for excellence was just too hard.A Defense of Intellectual RigorYes, I believe that all men are created equal.But that doesn’t mean that all men remain equal.Some are givers, some are takers. Some create while others destroy. A few people work for the benefit of others, but most work only to benefit themselves.People are not equal. Their motives, choices and actions make them large or small.Are you being large today? Please do.May I confess something to you?Do you promise not to tell?I admire people who work hard to make things better for everyone. My heroes are the men and women who struggle to create a brighter tomorrow. I know this makes me a misfit, but I don't care anymore.Are you a misfit, too?There's work to be done. Much of our world is in pain. Pointy balls, orange balls, balls under glass and going in circles be damned.Sometimes it just makes me sad.Does it make you sad, too?Wizard Academy is a group of strange and wonderful misfits like David Freeman, Corrine Taylor, Shaun Courbat, Jodie Gateman, Oz Jaxxon, Michele Miller, Mark Fox, Jeff and Bryan Eisenberg and You.Thanks for coming, friend.I no longer feel alone.Roy H. Williams

I’ve said many times, “Most ads aren’t written to persuade, they’re written not to offend.”This goes back to chapter one, “Nine Secret Words” in my first book, The Wizard of Ads. Do you remember the nine secret words? “The Risk of Insult is the Price of Clarity.”Clarity. Ah, there we have it.Rare is the ad that makes its point clearly.The customers who cost you money are the ones you never see; the ones who don’t come in because your ads never got their attention.I was writing an ad this week and decided to insert a word flag. I chose a phrase of declarative rebuttal; “And to that, we say, ‘Piffle and Pooh.’”Obviously, ‘Piffle and Pooh’ is just a whimsical way of saying “Poppycock.”My client was worried that people might be offended, so he asked me to change it to something else. I hung up the phone and yelled at the walls. If you’re curious what I said, just walk into my office. I’m pretty sure it’s still echoing in there.Would you like to know the 4 Biggest Mistakes made by advertisers?Mistake 1: Demanding “Polished and Professional” AdsIf you insist that your ads “sound right,” you force them to be predictable.Predictable ads do not surprise Broca’s Area of the brain. They do not open the door to conscious awareness. They fail to gain the attention of your prospective customer. This is bad.Mistake 2: Informing without PersuadingStudy journalism and you’ll create ads that present information without:(A.) substantiating their claims,“Lowest prices guaranteed!” (Or what, you apologize?)(B.) explaining the benefit to the customer.“We use the Synchro-static method!” (Which means…?)“It’s Truck Month at Ramsey Ford!” (Come to the party, bring my truck?)Mistake 3: Entertaining without PersuadingStudy creative writing and you’ll draft ads that deliver entertainment without:(A.)   delivering a clear message.“Yo Quiero Taco Bell” (Dogs like our food, you will, too?)(B.)   causing the customer to imagine themselves taking the desired action.“Yo Quiero Taco Bell” (I should buy a taco for my Chihuahua?)The best ads cause customers to see themselves taking the action you desire. These ads deliver:INVOLVEMENT: Watch a dancing silhouette ad for the iPod and mirror neurons in your brain will cause part of you to dance, as well. This is good advertising.CLARITY: The white earphone cords leading into the ears of the dancing silhouette make it clear that the white iPod is a personal music machine.Mistake 4: Decorating without PersuadingGraphic artists will often create a visual style and call it “branding.” This is fine if your product is fashion, a fragrance, an attitude or a lifestyle, but God help you if you sell a service or a product that’s meant to perform.“Do you like the ad?” asks the graphic artist.“Yes, it’s perfect,” replies the client, “the colors create the right mood and the images feel exactly right. I think it represents us well.”Sorry, but your banker disagrees.Hey, I’ve got an idea; why don’t you and Artsy go home and redecorate the living room at your house? Me? I’ll stay here and ruffle some feathers and sell some stuff. I hope you don’t mind.But you probably will. Because you worry needlessly when people don't like your ads.Ninety-eight point nine percent of all the customers who hate your ads will still come to your store and buy from you when they need what you sell. These customers don’t cost you money; they just complain to the cashier as they’re handing over their cash.Do you believe the public has to like an ad for the ad to be effective? You do?To that I say “Piffle and Pooh.”Yours,Roy H. Williams

I wish I could remember who gave me the book by Howard Rheingold: They Have a Word for It: A Lighthearted Lexicon of Untranslatable Words and Phrases.(Sigh.) If you ever give me a book, please write me a note in the front of it so I don’t sit scratching my head wondering where I got it.But thank you, friend, it’s an interesting book.Here’s what I found on page 249:“Gestalten – (German noun) Little wholes that make up larger wholes.The methodology of every respectable science is to analyze the subject matter of chemistry, physics, or biology until the 'fundamental particles' of that system are known. The payoff is very high for those who can see the world as a collection of different parts, so those of us who inhabit industrialized, science-based cultures tend to develop acute perceptions for parts, while neglecting the skill of seeing webs of interactions between the parts.  However, a subtle shift has recently come to the world of scientific knowledge: The notion of whole systems has become fashionable.”I agree with Rheingold, especially when it comes to business. The tendency of business has always been to look at the “pieces” separately. As an example, most businesses treat advertising and sales training as separate departments – pieces – when they’re really just the beginning and end of a single effort at persuasion. Do you distribute copies of your ads to your salespeople on the day the ads are released? If not, why not? Do you really want your customers to know more about what’s going on than your sales team?Compartmentalization is likewise a problem in medicine, causing doctors to treat symptoms instead of the root disease.In advertising and medicine we need to step back and look at a bigger picture.But I believe the opposite is true in the realm of Thought.If you want to craft a message that transfers a thought – whether your thought-carrier be visual, verbal, musical, tactile, olfactory or gustatory – don’t pull back for an overview, but break each element of your message into its constituent components.EXAMPLE: The science of chemistry is a systematic understanding of all the possible combinations of positively charged protons, negatively charged electrons and neutral neutrons. Only after we had deconstructed matter into its constituent components did we learn to design substances with the specific characteristics we desired.Likewise, if we want to1.   craft a thought2.   make an accurate statement3.   transfer a feeling4.   capture a mood5.   paint a picture6.   send a signal or7.   persuade a person, we must create a message with specific characteristics.The lens that revealed the mysteries of chemical composition wasn’t a pull-back, big-picture lens but a zoom-into-the-heart-of-it, detail lens. We had to answer the question, “What is the smallest unit of matter?”Likewise, the emerging science of Thought Particles is built upon the question, “What is the smallest unit of Thought?”At present, I’m convinced there are 12 basic languages of the mind and 12 shadow languages.Think of the first 12 with a plus sign (+) next to them. Think of the second 12 followed by a minus sign (-).Now think of coming to Austin for the Advanced Thought Particles workshop.I may be chasing the mirage of a rabbit through an imaginary forest. But if I'm not, artificial intelligence is right around the corner.Aroooo! Aroo-arooo!Roy H. Williams

I had the great good fortune to be raised by a single mother who was in extremely difficult circumstances: she had no education, no money, and received no monthly child support checks. And these were the June Cleaver/Leave It To Beaver years when it was socially unacceptable to be a “divorcée.”I say it was good fortune because it was by watching my mother that I learned it’s always too soon to panic, life is what you make it, nothing worth having comes easy. You know the Winston Churchill speech, “Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never–in nothing, great or small, large or petty–never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”I’m pretty sure Churchill got all that from my mom.Those who know me casually assume I’m a sexist pig because I say things like, “You hit like a girl.” But those who know me better will tell you the big decisions are usually made by Pennie, my wife and partner of 30+ years, and another woman, Corrine Taylor, manages the daily operation of all our enterprises.We men tend to be impatient and short-sighted. And we show it by what we write.The male voice in literature is hungry. Climb that mountain. Reach for those stars. Conquer. Subdue. Reproduce. Win.But the literary voice of a woman is quieter, as though she has eyes that see from a greater distance.“What is sure, predictable, inevitable – the one certain thing you know concerning your future, and mine?”“That we shall die.”“Yes, there's really only one question that can be answered, Genry, and we already know the answer… The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.” – Ursula K. Le Guin, from chapter 5 of The Left Hand of Darkness   You might also recall the following passage from a memo I sent you in February:We had come home.We had discussed whether to go out for dinner or eat in.I said I would build a fire, we could eat in.I built the fire, I started dinner, I asked John if he wanted a drink.I got him a Scotch and gave it to him in the living room, where he was reading in the chair by the fire where he habitually sat….I finished getting dinner, I set the table in the living room where, when we were home alone, we could eat within sight of the fire. I find myself stressing the fire because fires were important to us. I grew up in California, John and I lived there together for twenty-four years, in California we heated our houses by building fires. We built fires even on summer evenings, because the fog came in. Fires said we were home, we had drawn the circle, we were safe through the night. I lit the candles. John asked for a second drink before sitting down. I gave it to him. We sat down. My attention was on mixing the salad.John was talking, then he wasn't.–   excerpted from The Year of Magical Thinking (2005), Joan Didion's attempt to comprehend her husband's sudden death after 40 years of marriage.The challenge of a woman is that she's expected to take care of everybody. But who takes care of her?“Woman's life today is tending more and more toward the state William James describes so well in the German word, 'Zerrissenheit: torn-to-pieces-hood.' She cannot live perpetually in 'Zerrissenheit.' She will be shattered into a thousand pieces. On the contrary, she must consciously encourage those pursuits which oppose the centrifugal forces of today…. Solitude, says the moon shell. Center-down, say the Quaker saints. To the possession of the self the way is inward, says Plotinus. The cell of self-knowledge is the stall in which the pilgrim must be reborn, says St. Catherine of Siena.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea, (1955)It is in honor of women worldwide that Wizard Academy is building a landmark bell wall. We hope to have it finished in time for the Wizard Academy Alumni Reunion in October. I’m going to ask my famous mother to come and share a few words. She’ll be followed by a performance from one of the hottest female recording artists in America.Yes, it’s going to be unforgettable.I hope you can come.Roy H. Williams

Why do some brands connect when others don’t?Where should you begin when building a brand from scratch?How does an old brand become new again?It's just like in the movies.Have you ever bonded with a character in a television series or a movie? That character’s attitude, values, quirks and characteristics were most likely designed by David Freeman or one of his students.His clients are the movie studios and television networks of Hollywood. His students are the screenwriters of the biggest hit shows of the past 10 years.David Freeman’s tested, trademark techniques have now been proven to work just as well for brands as they do for fictional characters.When David called Wizard Academy and offered to teach a class, we took it straight to the major leagues:With no advance notice, we secretly premiered 2 startling days of David Freeman, myself and Shaun Courbat for Kellogg’s, Sara Lee, Chicken of the Sea and a host of other national food brands that gathered in Wizard Academy’s Tuscan Hall. The long and untamed standing ovation told us we had a tiger by the tail.Using countless examples from the rise and fall of popular brands, David clearly demonstrated there are only 3 ways to create a successful brand. He calls these the Brand Diamond, the Emotional Pulsar, and the Co-Created World. Every successful brand was unconsciously built using one of these three techniques. When a brand manager unwittingly removes the magic ingredient, the brand begins to decline.David has taught only one of these three techniques to the movie studios of Hollywood and the video game companies of Japan; the Brand Diamond, (known to the entertainment industry as the Character Diamond.) David saved both of the more advanced techniques for his alma mater, Wizard Academy.On Monday and Tuesday, October 8-9, David Freeman will teach for only the second time ever all three of his proven Blueprints for Branding:1: First you’ll learn to create a Brand Diamond using the “Character Diamond” technique that made David famous. This will enable you to give your brand a third gravitating body with a high degree of divergence and an explicit moment of convergence. (If you have no idea what that means, don’t worry. We’ll explain it in detail when you get here. All you need to know right now is that it’s the one, defining characteristic of every hit song, bestselling novel and blockbuster motion picture that has ever topped the charts.) Simply stated, the character diamond is what makes us return to a thing again and again. It makes the brand, the song, or the character in a book, movie or TV show more interesting.The most successful brands created their divergent diamonds by happy accident. David is going to teach you how to create yours by design.2: Learn how to craft an Emotional Pulsar and your brand will never grow old. It will automatically shift and change with the times, forever in step, always attractive. David Freeman will show you how.3: Learn how to frame a Co-Created World and your brand will personalize itself to every customer. It will mean 10,000 different things to 10,000 different people, but each of them will feel they understand your brand perfectly. And that it understands them, as well.Be ready for interactive discussions and detailed exercises.Participate fully and you’ll leave Austin with1: a dazzling Brand Diamond you’ll be anxious to unveil,2: a plan for creating an Emotional Pulsar,3: and you might even be able to frame a Co-Created World.In addition, I'll do my best to1.   give you a scientific understanding of how brands are built in the brain.2.   explain the mathematical magic of 3rd Gravitating Bodies and demonstrate how they enchant the unconscious.3.   illustrate the four basic business models and point out the strengths and weaknesses of each.4.   show you how to trigger widespread word-of-mouth advertising.5.   prepare you for the core changes that are coming to the marketplace.6.   teach you how to win corporate support for your innovative ideas.7.   tease you with a too-quick glimpse at the 12 Languages of the Mind.This is one of those Academy classes that will leave you with big eyes and your mouth hanging open.We promise to give you a moment to recover before taking the class photo.The best $3,000 you ever spent.It doesn’t get any better than this.We really hope to see you there.Roy H. Williams

Ninety-nine percent of all ads fail to sparkle for the same reason that most diamonds are dull: They’re overweight.A perfectly edited ad will shoot points of light across the darkness like a perfectly cut diamond. But rare is the diamond that's cut for maximum brilliance, even though it's not hard to do.Q: Why would a diamond cutter shape a diamond so it sparkled less instead of more?A: You’ve dug a diamond from the dirt and now you’re going to proportion it. Cut it correctly and you’ll lose nearly fifty percent of the weight. But if you cut the diamond as close as you can to the shape of the original crystal, you’ll lose less weight and diamonds are sold by weight; about 875 thousand dollars an ounce.Like diamond cutters, most of us leave too many words in our ads because we feel they add weight to our message. But you’ll never see your ads sparkle until those excess words are removed.Here’s a before-and-after example of an ad from the newly published 20-Hour DVD series, Interactive Ad Writing. The ad was written by Brian Hagel, a gifted young writer from Saskatchewan:Original Version Before Editing:You see him a block away and you know he sees you too. The night suddenly feels colder, darker, and you curse yourself for turning down this street. The streetlamps cast shadows you never would have noticed if you were walking with friends. The stranger continues to amble towards you; hands inside a long coat. He’s looking at you. He is reading you well, knows you’re scared. You can almost see his chest expand with the knowledge. Seven feet, 6 feet now, you have seconds to decide. You’re close enough to hear his breathing. You catch his eyes and they bear down on you. The sidewalk is just wide enough for you to pass. One foot now, you hold your breath, ready. He looks at you with contempt. With head down, you brush past him, embarrassed. He hops in a car shaking his head. As he drives away you hear something about getting a job. You wish you could. It happens to our homeless every day. Please give generously to your United Way.After Editing:[Notice how the points of the ad are made sharper, tighter, brighter.]You see him a block away. He sees you, too.The night feels colder, darker. The streetlamps cast shadows you wouldn’t have noticed if you were walking with friends.But you have no friends.The stranger continues toward you; hands inside a long coat. He’s looking at you, reading you well, knows you’re scared.You can almost see his chest expand with pride.Seven feet away, you have only seconds to decide. You hear his breathing, watch his eyes bearing down on you. The sidewalk isn’t wide enough.But they weren’t thinking of you when they built this sidewalk.This sidewalk was built for him.One foot away, you hold your breath, close your eyes.Head down, you brush past him, embarrassed. He hops in a fine car shaking his head and suggests you get a job.You wish you could.290,000 Canadians are frightened, homeless and hungry.The United Way can help. Will you help the United Way?Like a well-cut diamond, the edited ad makes sharper points with fewer words.The secret of sparkle is knowing what to leave out.Roy H. Williams

Step 1: Become extremely good at something. Anything.“Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will stand before kings; He will not stand before obscure men.” – from the book of Proverbs, chapter 22Step 2: Push beyond the boundaries of what’s known.Investigate the unknown. Speculate. Theorize. Experiment. Learn from your mistakes. If you can say only what you’ve read in books, you’re a parrot. Polly want a cracker?Step 3: Speak plainly. Use examples.Clients don’t want theories, they want pragmatic, tested, what-to-do-now advice. The business of a consultant isn’t merely to have opinions, but to sell them. Tell your client what you know and how you know it. Tell them what you’ve seen.Step 4: Consult without pay until someone offers to pay.You’re going to need a day job until folks figure out how good you are. Experience – deep and wide – is essential. If you work really hard and are lucky it'll still be at least 2 years before you begin to gain some traction. Be committed. Don’t worry; just keep getting better. The kings will find you.Step 5: Avoid Fools.Lazy people, dishonest people and impatient people will always find a path to catastrophe. Don’t let them take you down it. Some people are going to fail regardless of what you tell them. Learn to spot them early. Don’t take their money.Step 6: Keep showing up.A consultant is supposed to be a problem solver. Seek out problems and stare into their eyes. Figure out how to defeat them. Be the soldier who runs toward the sound of the guns.Step 7: Don’t become an insider.Only an outsider can be objective. Get too close and you’ll no longer see the big picture, only the details. You lose credibility the moment you begin to look, think and act like an employee.Step 8: Give credit where it’s due.Your client will sometimes have a great idea. Affirm it quickly. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you always have to be the one with the plan.Step 9: Maintain at least 12 clientsYour value as a consultant is that you see more successes and failures than your client. This is why you must consult a lot of different people. If one client ever represents more than 10 percent of your annual income, you no longer have a client, you’ve got a boss.Step 10: Don’t let your alligator mouth overload your mockingbird butt.Clients will occasionally insist that you give them unreasonable assurances. “What can you promise will happen if I do as you say?” Or worse, they’ll frame a problem in such a way that it has no solution and demand that you provide one. These are the moments when you’ve got to speak the truth… and be glad you’ve still got all those other clients.That's all you need to know. Now go do it, and prosper.Roy H. Williams

How is it that you and I interpret art the same way?We agree that the musical score to Star Wars feels adventurous and triumphant. But what within the music tells us so?And there’s something about slow music in a minor key that seems sad. Don’t you agree?Firelight is romantic, but why?Add a trace of black to any color and you’ll make it richer, moodier, classier. But do you understand the mechanics of it?The answers to these questions are rooted in the 12 Languages of the Mind. Learn the 12 Languages and you’ll have a finger on the bright white power button of persuasion.Art is usually created through joyous intuition, an egg of talent fertilized by wiggling inspiration. But when it’s the product of cognitive calculation it has the same effect.Wizard Academy teaches you how to do consciously what talented people do unconsciously when they’re feeling inspired.Advertising, interior decorating, military strategies, musical composition, chemical interaction, fine arts painting, effective online layouts and the award-winning recipes of a 5-star chef are merely dialects of the same 12 Languages of the mind.Wizard Academy is a School of Human Communication. If you want to connect more powerfully to other human beings, you need to become a student.The 12 Languages of the Mind will be taught for the first time July 23-25, 2007, to the 14 lucky alumni who contributed $3900 apiece to furnish the 14 rooms in Engelbrecht House, Wizard Academy’s amazing student mansion.The next time the 12 Languages will be unveiled is in September, as part of the newly updated and expanded Advanced Thought Particles class. This September session of ATP will be unique in that it will immediately follow a 3-day Magical Worlds class.My suggestion is that you register for both classes.And if you’re one of the first 14 to register, you’ll get a room and all your meals provided at no charge in Engelbrecht House. (Don’t worry, we’ll alert you if you’re number 15 and give you a chance to reschedule for the next session if you so desire.)Are you going to register now and be one of the first 14? Or are you going to put it off and then try to cajole your way in later? Trust me, it won’t work. First come will be first served. Wouldn’t be fair any other way.Just as a lump of coal becomes a diamond and a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, human persuasion is undergoing its own strange metamorphosis.Are you curious to see what it will become?Roy H. Williams

When an ad campaign is producing big results, there will usually be complaints from the public.When an ad campaign is getting poor results, the public rarely complains.What makes people hate an ad?1.   It’s hard to ignore.Any ad that makes its point sharply will be an irritant.But sharp-pointed ads are also the most effective.2.   It presents a tightly focused perspective.Any ad that makes assumptions about the experiences of the customer will be judged as presumptive. Persons whose experiences are otherwise usually hate these ads.But presumptive ads connect powerfully to customers whose personal experiences are accurately mirrored in the ad.3.   It’s given a lot of repetition.There is such a thing as too much repetition. And the sharper the ad’s point, the less repetition will be required. But “too much repetition” is often the charge that’s leveled against an ad that’s annoying for reasons 1 or 2.“Hello, I’m a Mac.”“And I’m a PC.”Very few people are ambiguous about the “Get a Mac” TV campaign:“Apple's mean-spirited new ad campaign… Ad Report Card Grade: C+… And isn't smug superiority, no matter how affable and casually dressed, a bit off-putting as a brand strategy?” – Seth Stevenson “I don’t know about you but I have had about enough of those Mac TV commercials that consistently rip on Microsoft and the PC. Any company that needs to badmouth the competition in an effort to sell their product is a company I don’t want anything to do with.” – ElectroGeek“The Los Angeles Times has a big article for you about Justin Long, aka the Mac from the 'Get a Mac' ads… [The article goes on to explain that Justin Long is a 'smug little twit.'] Also of note: There are apparently 20 more of these ads in the can, ensuring that everyone will be sick of them eventually.”– Tim Nudd“Reporting a $546 million profit on Wednesday, Apple also said that it shipped over 1.6 million Macs representing over 30 percent growth from the year-ago quarter. According to Apple CFO Peter Oppenheimer, this represents the strongest quarter in the company’s history.” – Jim Dalrymple, reporterComplain about me all you want. Just leave the 546 million with my butler at the front door.Are your ads getting complaints? If not, why not?A:  Do you have no sharp points to make?B:  Or are you just afraid to make them?Turn the poles of a magnet North to South and CLICK, they connect. Turn the poles North to North and they'll repel each other just as powerfully. Advertising, like a magnet, is subject to the Law of Polarity: Your ad’s ability to attract customers cannot exceed its potential to repel.Most ads aren’t written to make a point sharply. They’re written not to offend.How are your ads written?Roy H. Williams

1. Hidden Profit Centers are the new MarkupLow-cost providers such as Sam’s Club and Best Buy are selling “in-store exchange” policies at the cash register to supplement the manufacturer’s warranties they don’t honor. In other words, you can’t take a faulty purchase back to the retailer if there’s a problem – you have to contact the manufacturer directly – unless you bought their “in-store exchange” policy.2. “Hard-to-find” items are no longer hard to find.Just Google it.3. A huge in-store selection can be counterproductive.When buying locally, a shopper confronted with too many choices can go into analysis paralysis. Successful stores stock only those items that represent the best value for the money. And they make sure never to run out of those items. The best stores stock only what’s hot. They may offer just one vacuum cleaner, but it’s the one that everyone is buying.4. Traffic is in declinebecause comparison-shopping is in decline. A customer who used to go to 3 or 4 stores to gather information is now going to just 1 or 2. When a customer goes to just one store, second place is the first loser. Don’t be number two on their list.5. Intrusive visibility is more important than ever.Intrusively-visible locations are destined to become even more important as media fragmentation continues. But don’t confuse visibility with mere traffic count. Seeing you is altogether different than driving past you.6. Hype doesn’t sell anymore.The effectiveness of artificial urgency is in sharp decline. People are no longer naive. Companies that were built on high-impact ads are finding their dwindling, traditional customer base won’t respond to anything but high-impact offers and new customers won’t take them seriously. These stores are closing their doors and no one is noticing.7. Attention spans are shrinking.Too much to do, too little time.8. Clarity is more important that creativity.Web surfing has taught us to quickly appraise whether information is relevant to us. The most effective ads are short and clear.9. Details matter.Quirky and cute ads were effective in the 90’s because they made corporate America warm and approachable. People still like these ads and may even compliment you on them, but they’re no longer driving traffic. Buying decisions are increasingly based on logic. Give customers a no-loopholes warranty and a story that rings true and they’ll respond.10. Speed is essential.Customers don’t complain when you waste their time. They just don’t come back.Yo. Wake up. It’s a brand new day.Roy H. Williams

The old assumption in advertising was that the customer didn't know, and wouldn't know unless you told them.This is no longer a valid assumption. Today's customer enjoys access to information far beyond what any of us saw coming.You're aware of how quickly and easily you gather information online each day, but has it occurred to you that your customers expect information about you and your products to be found just as quickly and easily?What do your customers find when they enter your category and town into a search engine? Do they find the answers to their questions?What do they assume when you provide minimal information and someone else provides much more?Better Question: What do you assume when minimal information is provided by a company you're researching online?What about those times when you're researching a purchase and the seller chooses not to put prices online? How does that make you feel? What do you assume about the seller?Are you likely to:1. call them,2. email them, or just3. search for that product from a different provider?The first time we designed a promotional plan for a website was in June, 2000. I'll never forget it. We put together a great product, a catchy name and a media plan we knew would drive traffic to the site. That was where it all fell apart.The client decided it would be best to “capture all the contact information” before revealing the price of the item. In essence, a customer had to commit to purchase the item before the price was revealed. That website had hundreds of thousands of visitors but made very few sales. The company is now defunct, even though their product was excellent and their prices were great.The best websites answer all your questions.Does your website answer all your customer's questions, or is your plan to “make them” contact you so you can “get more detailed information” about their budget, their preferences and their requirements?The customer is far more likely to contact you after they've found the answers to all the questions you didn't have to have their personal details to provide.The hardest part about crafting a website is anticipating the unspoken questions of your customers.The most successful of the Wizard Academy websites is FreeWeddingChapel.org. Miraculously, it took us only about 6 months to bring that website to its current level of seamlessness. Our advantage was a daily telephone-parade of anxious brides calling with nervous questions. Few decisions are accompanied by the degree of anxiety as the decisions that accompany a wedding. These daily questions allowed us to quickly refine our info-stream. Any time we answered a new question by telephone, we'd instantly add the answer to the ones we provided online.That website now functions like a well-oiled machine. Brides comment the website “felt like it was reading my mind.”This is what happens when you diligently:1. harvest the questions of your customers, and then2. insert all the answers into your web copy.Now get to work on that website.Need some help?Roy H. Williams

“I'm in the furniture business. Which media should I use?”“I'd like to target people who are afraid of the dentist. Can you recommend a good mailing list company?”“My uncle uses television ads to attract new customers and they work really well for him. Television ads have made him rich. What's your opinion of TV?”“No one in my town listens to the radio anymore. Everyone has satellite or an iPod.”“I tried advertising. It doesn't work for my kind of business.”People say things like this and expect me to have an intelligent response. What usually happens is that I stand there, dull-eyed, with my mouth hanging open. These are not my favorite moments.When my brain finally recovers and I tell them the truth they need to hear, they act as though I've sidestepped their question.Here's the truth they needed to hear. Maybe you need to hear it, too:Relevance is what determines whether an ad works or not.Every media fails when it delivers a message no one cares about.Have you ever run an ad that failed?Let's pull aside the curtain and look backstage to see what really happened:1. The ad was so predictable that few people even noticed it.SOLUTION: Get a new ad writer or remove the handcuffs from the one you've got.2. Prospective customers noticed the ad, received the message and understood it perfectly. They just didn't care.SOLUTION: Dump the irrelevant subject matter. Discover what people actually care about and talk about that instead.3. The ad's message would have been relevant, but it was unclear.SOLUTION: Remind your writer that creativity often gets in the way of clarity. Remind your layout artist that the prettiest ad is rarely the most effective. You're running a business, not a magazine. Make sure the dynamic duo understands that their continued employment depends on creating ads that sell the product.4. You committed to an ad campaign that was shorter than your product selling cycle. If people buy your product once a week, don't expect your ads to return a profit during the first week. If people buy once a month, don't expect to break even on your advertising during the first 30 days. If your product selling cycle is longer than 2 years, you can expect to lose money on your ads – even if they're good – the first 4 to 6 months. You'll start pulling ahead during the second six months. Your real growth won't happen until you begin reaching that same group of people for a second year.SOLUTION: Commit to an ad campaign that's longer than your product selling cycle.5. The listener failed to be engaged because the ad was written from a cultural perspective other than the customer's own. (This is why Anglo-conceived Hispanic campaigns usually fail. Translating language is easy. Transferring cultural perspective is nearly impossible.)SOLUTION: Hire a different ad writer to create the second campaign. Make sure the writer is from the cultural background he or she is trying to reach.Bottom Lines:Ads that fail in one media would usually have failed in any other.The media is not the message.The message is the message.And the message is what matters most.To deliver a pointless message powerfully is the definition of hype.To deliver a powerful message pointlessly is the result of weak creative.To deliver a powerful message powerfully is the first step in making a fortune.Now go do it. And good luck.Roy H. Williams

If I were to ask you what's limiting your growth, you'd likely tell me, “Traffic. If we had more traffic, we'd make more sales. What we need is more traffic.”But traffic is rarely the problem. It's simply the byproduct of a problem you haven't been able to see.These are the Four Most Common invisible problems that limit your selling opportunities:Problem 1: Your ads aren't convincing.SOLUTION: Write better ads.Do your ads speak to what the customer actually cares about, or do they speak only to what the customer ought to care about? Let's face it: you're an expert in your business category. You can't think like your customer thinks because frankly, you know too much.Have you given your ad writer explicit permission to push you beyond your comfort zone? A good ad writer will always ask questions that you feel are irrelevant. “You don't understand,” you'll say, “That's not what matters. THIS is what matters.” And thus you'll steer your ad writer into writing irrelevant ads.When it comes to ad writing, naiveté is a virtue. The best ad writers don't know any more than the customer knows.Problem 2: Your ads aren't reaching your prospects with sufficient repetition.SOLUTION: Focus your ad budget.Most business owners sprinkle their ad budgets across a wide variety of opportunities because they “don't want to leave anyone out.” The result of this strategy is that they reach too many people with too little repetition.Bill Bernbach said it best: “Would you rather reach 100 percent of the people and convince them 10 percent of the way, or 10 percent of the people and convince them 100 percent of the way?”The longer your product purchase cycle, the more repetition is required to drive traffic. How often does the public buy what you sell? An ad for groceries will generate traffic with less repetition than an ad for refrigerators because we buy groceries more often than we buy refrigerators. Do you sell jewelry, appliances, dentistry, or provide an in-home service? Focus relentlessly on a smaller group of people and make yours the name that pops into their head when they finally need what you sell.Problem 3: You're already selling everyone who likes to buy what you sell in the way you like to sell it.SOLUTION: Expand your business model to appeal to a new category of customers, or begin selling your current customers an additional product or service.It's often the most successful businesses that complain the loudest about low traffic because they're no longer growing like they used to grow. If you focused your business on a niche market, has the same focus that created your initial success now got you bumping your head against a glass ceiling? You know there are more customers in your product category; you just can't seem to get them in your door.You're going to have to expand your definition of “your customer.” There's not an infinite supply of the customer profile you've been targeting. It's likely that you're going to have to sell products – or customer profiles – you would have preferred not to sell.4. Your reputation has slipped, or your product is no longer in demand.SOLUTION: Reinvent yourself. Become relevant to the customer again.Would better advertising have saved 8-track tapes, or was it simply a technology whose time had passed?The marriage rate is declining in America. So why are jewelers surprised that engagement ring sales have declined by a similar percentage?Customized online news aggregators gather only those stories that each of us likes to read. So is anyone surprised that newspaper readership is waning?Now let's talk about your business: Is your marketplace changing beneath your feet? Move with it.Or risk falling down.Roy H. Williams

I owe my optimism to my mother, a single parent whose ironclad confidence kept my sister and I from ever suspecting how poor we really were. We felt like Mom could do anything. She made us feel like everything was going to be okay.And amazingly, it was.I owe my business to my wife, Pennie, who never worried or complained or suggested that I get a real job, even when the cut-off notices began to arrive from the utility companies. My prayer for our sons throughout their lives has been that they would each marry a wife who would give them the same freedom and support I've gotten from Princess Pennie since we were both 18.The older son has been married for 2 years now and I'm delighted to report that God answers prayer.I owe my love of literature to an Oklahoma public school teacher named Linn Ball in whose English class I was privileged to sit as a junior and senior in high school.These are three of the women who shaped my life. Who were the sculptresses of yours?Keith Miller reminded me of Linn Ball recently when he said, “Roy, we've got to preserve the almost-forgotten wisdom.”That conversation ended with Wizard Academy agreeing to host an important event this summer, but we can't do it without your input. Here's what we need from you:1. Think of a teacher that is truly gifted. “This world would be a different place if every teacher was like (who?).”2. Contact that teacher and tell them you'd like to submit their name as a possible candidate to be invited to a national summit on education.3. Send us – with their permission – the teacher's contact information along with the reasons why their name is the one you'd use to finish that sentence. Tell us exactly what this teacher did that rocked your world. A simple name and recommendation isn't enough. We need you to remember a specific incident that illustrates how this teacher does things differently.The result of this conference is going to be a book filled with innovative teaching techniques and true-life stories that will be shared with educators across America.This is not a money-making proposition. It's a focused effort to rescue a generation in need of teachers who can fan the flames of flickering intellect until it blazes into a conflagration of knowledge.Teachers who light fires do things differently. We're going to extract the fiery sparks from these gifted teachers and put them into a book other teachers will use like a box of matches.Right now you're thinking of a teacher, aren't you? Please contact him or her. Do it now.This can turn out 2 ways:1. You can plan to do it, mean to do it, promise to do it and then get ambushed by the urgencies of daily life and say, “Oh well, I'm sure they got lots of names and stories from other people.” The result will be no conference, no preservation of the almost-forgotten wisdom, no rescue of a generation that is fading fast.2. Or you can track down the teacher, explain to them that Wizard Academy is a credible think-tank and that yes, this conference will be chaired by Keith Miller himself, that legendary author of bestselling books that rocked America throughout the 70s and 80s. (I'll be there, too, but your teacher is a lot less likely to have heard of me. Just ask them if they remember The Taste of New Wine or Habitation of Dragons or any of the other bestsellers by Keith Miller.)Our promise of a book emerging from this conference isn't just a daydream. If the conference happens, the book will happen. And your teacher will be part of it.You gonna call your teacher? We really need you to do it.Email your 500 to 1,000-word narrative and teacher contact information before midnight, April 30, 2007, to [email protected] now I'm going to put Jodie Gateman's name on the list along with Dr. B.C. DeSpain and then find out whatever happened to Linn Ball. We haven't spoken in 30 years.But we're about to.Roy H. Williams

Filippo Beccari is an Italian dance teacher a long way from home. Hoping to enrich the lives of 62 orphans, he visits the orphans daily and encourages them to move to the music as he hums or plays. The year is 1773.Three years later Paul Revere rides through Boston shouting “The British are coming! The British are coming!” just as Beccari's orphans glide onto stage and stun a crowd of dignitaries with their debut performance. Each of the 62 children has become a magnificent dancer and 24 of them are world-class soloists.And thus the Bolshoi Ballet was born in Moscow during the reign of Catherine the Great.Bolshoi, in Russian, means “big” or “grand.” And indeed it is.I wonder, would the Bolshoi have come into existence had a man been in charge of Russia at the time?Pulitzer-winning novelist James Michener challenged aspiring writers to move to the rhythm of spoken words. He said they “might develop a sense of freedom that way.”Two weeks ago I ignited a firestorm of controversy by suggesting that we embrace Michener's strange advice and post our efforts on youtube.Judging from some of the reactions I received, you'd have thought I had suggested we overthrow the government, outlaw church-going and encourage young children to smoke pot.Men were worried1. that the effort would serve no purpose, and2. that it might become a gateway to “other deviations.”Yes, some people use play as an excuse to lose their minds. “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” But the Cognoscenti will recall a 7-minute session called Feynman's Pendulum in which I explain, “The object of play isn't to lose your morals, it's to lose your cares and inhibitions.”People often ask me to help them turn their hobby into a business.But does that make the hobby more fun?Hosea Frank mentions this phenomenon in one of his witty and offbeat Zefrank videos: “And then they started saying that if you put focused energy into something without knowing how it would lead to getting money, you were participating in a hobby. [witheringly] Ohhh… it's your hobby.” – zefrank.comZe made a new video each weekday for a year in the hope of being accepted into the LOA, or League Of Awesomeness. That year ended on March 17, 2007.My son Rex brought Zefrank to my attention a few days ago. Having now viewed a couple dozen of his 260 videos, I think Ze may be our brand of crazy. But before you go clicking these links, be warned: Zefrank is offbeat, irreverent and unrestrained. Which is a fancy way of saying that he is occasionally vulgar.But he is also insightful and fun.Pass or play. The choice is yours.But remember what happened to Jack.Roy H. Williams

About 10 months ago Mike Metzger flew from Clapham Institute in Annapolis to spend a day with us in Austin.“You meet 4 kinds of people on the ocean of life,” Mike said.“Those who drift just go with the flow. The wind and the waves control their speed and direction. The drifter quietly floats along and says, ‘Whatever.'”“Those who surf are always riding a wave, the next big thing. They stay excited until the wave fades away, then they scan the horizon for something new. Surfers don’t usually get anywhere, but they make a lot of noise and put on a good show.”“Those who drown seem to stay in the center of a storm. It doesn’t matter how often you rescue them, they’ll soon be in another crisis, crying, ‘Help me, save me, it’s been the worst week of my life. I don’t know what I’m going to do.'”“Those who sail are navigating toward a fixed point. They counteract the wind and waves by adjusting the rudder and shifting the sails to stay on course. But without an immovable, fixed point in your life, there can be no sailing. There’s nothing for you but drift, surf or drown.”Can you name the fixed point in your life, your immovable object?Metzger’s metaphor reminded me of something Ray Bard once taught me. Bard, that legendary publisher of business books, speaks of 4 kinds of opportunities:“When you’re thinking about writing a book on a subject or considering a business to go into, it’s essential that you find out 2 things:1. How widespread is the public’s interest in it?2. How deep is that interest?”“If interest is not widespread and not very deep, you’re looking at a puddle. Never invest time or money in a puddle.”“If interest is widespread but not very deep, you’re looking at a swamp. Be careful of swamps. They look like oceans at first because everyone is interested. But that interest is shallow, not deep enough to drive action. Investors go broke when they see a swamp and think it’s an ocean.”“If public interest is wide and deep, you’re looking at an ocean. But you’re going to need a platform on which to navigate your ocean. If you don’t have a platform, you’ll drown. And you’re going to need a plan or you’ll drift.”“If public interest is narrow but deep, you’ve got a well. Don’t underestimate it. You can draw a lot of water from a well. I once knew a writer who wrote a book called The Care and Feeding of Quarter Horses. The book held no interest for readers who didn’t own a quarter horse, but those who did had deep enough interest to buy the book. It was extremely successful.”Are you in a puddle, a swamp, an ocean or a well?Are you drifting, surfing, drowning or sailing?Fifteen months ago I taught a student and her daughter how to go sailing in a well. They wrote me recently to say that their family business has since “exploded.”You may recall that I mentioned Dixie Huthmaker as a “doer” in the PS of last week’s Monday Morning Memo. Those who clicked that link were told they could join the Ocean’s 11 and experience a 3-day brainstorming session with the Wizard of Ads.All 11 seats were filled in just a few hours, so we scheduled a second class for October 2-4, 2007.You coming?Yours,Roy H. Williams

Looking to make a change? Remember: transformation happens experientially, not intellectually.We often receive instruction and agree, “I see what you're saying,” but seldom do we actually do the thing we learned. We just agree with it in our minds.This is a problem.Daniel J. Boorstin said, “The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance – it is the illusion of knowledge.”Boorstin's statement becomes particularly poignant when you learn that he graduated with highest honors from Harvard, was a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford and earned his PhD at Yale. By occupation he was a lawyer, a university professor and the U.S. Librarian of Congress from 1975 to 1987. Yet Boorstin warned us that the illusion of knowledge was the greatest impediment to discovery.Are you willing to go exploring with Boorstin and Dewar and Michener and me? Tommy Dewar said, “Exploration makes one wiser; even if the only wisdom gained is to know where not to return.”James Michener won the Pulitzer Prize in 1948 for his book, Tales of the South Pacific. He went on to earn more than one hundred million dollars as the author of more than 40 novels.In his memoirs – published just a year before he died at the age of 90 – Michener wrote, “I feel almost a blood relationship with all the artists in all the mediums, for I find that we face the same problems but solve them in our own ways. When young people in my writing classes, for example, ask what subjects they should study to become writers, I surprise them by replying: ‘Ceramics and eurhythmic dancing.' When they look surprised I explain: ‘Ceramics so you can feel form evolving through your fingertips molding the moist clay, and eurhythmic dancing so you can experience the flow of motion through your body. You might develop a sense of freedom that way.'” – This Noble Land, chap.10Michener, a novelist to whose success George Washington testified one hundred million times, instructed thousands of aspiring young writers during his years at the University of Texas and he gave each student the same advice. But do you suppose any of them actually took classes in ceramics and eurhythmic dancing?I doubt it.Would you have done what Michener said? Or would you have thought, “I get it,” and then walked on to seek advice from other experts?Would you have allowed the illusion of knowledge to rob you of the joy of discovery?Roy H. Williams

She judged us one-by-one as we entered the building. Chin held high, she looked down the ridgeline of her nose like she was sighting along the barrel of a gun. A quiet sniff let us know she did not approve.I hope to God she doesn't know how to fire that thing.“You're here for the Dana Gioia lecture?”Her tone suggested this woman was trying hard to be perceived as an aristocrat. Just like the man who spoke from behind me.“Lovey!”Wow. There really are people who talk like Thurston Howell III.It was like we'd stumbled into a costume party where the game was to act bored and superior. Throughout the room every pose, every comment was calculated to deliver an impression of “tut-tut” sophistication. It was a voice-symphony of condescending tones.The little hand was on 7 and the big hand on 12 in a tiny auditorium in the Harry Ransom Center at the University of Texas. Dana Gioia, (JOY-ah) the chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts, was scheduled to speak. I'd come with 7 students from Wizard Academy's Magical Worlds Communications Workshop.It turned out to be one of the most stimulating nights of my life.Gioia, a Harvard graduate and published poet, bemoaned the modern trend to analyze and critique poetry as though it were an intellectual thing. Throughout Gioia's riveting performance I wondered, “Do the people in this room realize that he's saying they are the problem?Gioia performed his own poems and others. Whether the poetry served as punctuation to his comments, or whether his comments were the punctuation between poems, I cannot say.During the Question and Answer session, a woman asked, “What do you think of these so-called ‘cowboy poets?'”Her loaded question backfired. Gioia got happy as he explained that the first of today's cowboy poets was encouraged by a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts, “and now there are more than 200 chapters of cowboy poets who meet across America to read their poetry.”The cowboy has found his soul and that makes Gioia happy: “If you don't hear anything else I say tonight, please remember this: The goal of public education in the arts is not to create more artists, but to create complete human beings in an age of technology. We're failing our children, especially our young men. We provide them a cognitive, analytical education, but we are failing to educate their emotions.”David of Israel was a warrior poet. His son Solomon was a scholar poet. Neither of them was considered effeminate. Just ask Goliath. Yet David and Solomon gave us deep treasures of poetry in Psalms and Proverbs and Ecclesiastes and the intensely sexual Song of Solomon.It was when Gioia confessed his frustration that night that I began to feel pride for Wizard Academy. “If I had one wish,” he said, “it would be that we immerse our children in a performance of the arts. Let a storyteller or a poet perform in a way that leaves the audience breathless and every child in the room will say, ‘I want to learn to do that.' They'll become better readers, better writers, and more complete human beings.”I was proud of the academy because we're doing what Gioia said needs to be done. Just last week Kim, Peter, Paul and Will taught a class called Making It As an Artist. All four of these gifted instructors perform in public schools at every opportunity. Those of you who have heard me speak publicly will recall that I always perform at least one important poem relevant to the topic of discussion. The audiences are surprised, attention is elevated and people are delighted.Wizard Academy is putting adventure into science, romance into writing, and art into the heart. We're going for Broca.The late poet Robert Graves said, “There's no money in poetry, but then there's no poetry in money, either.”If Graves was unable to find money in poetry, it was only because he failed to look where it might be found.Philip Dusenberry said, “I have always believed that writing advertisements is the second most profitable form of writing. The first, of course, is ransom notes.” Dusenberry is a successful motion picture screenwriter, was inducted into the Songwriter's Hall of Fame in 1994, and is the chairman of BBDO, one of the largest advertising agencies on earth. He began as a copywriter at a radio station.If you're a poet and would like to make your living with words, the secret is to aim part of that energy at ad writing.Here's what some famous men have had to say about poetry. Listen closely and see if their advice doesn't also apply to ad writing:Jean Cocteau said, “The poet doesn't invent. He listens.”The same is true of great ad writers.Paul Engle said, “Poetry is boned with ideas, nerved and blooded with emotions, all held together by the delicate, tough skin of words.”Couldn't the same thing be said about great ads?Sigmund Freud, that spelunker into the human psyche, said, “Everywhere I go I find that a poet has been there before me.” On another occasion Freud wrote, “Poets are ma

Modern schools teach Journalism and Creative Writing.Study Journalism and you'll write ads that are informative. Study Creative Writing and you'll write ads that entertain. But neither is likely to persuade.Only one school of writing always1. introduces a new perspective,2. causes readers to feel differently, and3. does so in a tight economy of words.And that school is very ancient.Should you ask me, whence these stories?Whence these legends and traditions,With the odors of the forestWith the dew and damp of meadows,With the curling smoke of wigwams,With the rushing of great rivers,With their frequent repetitions,And their wild reverberationsAs of thunder in the mountains?Do you want to speak in full color? Enroll in the school of the poet.Rhythm is essential to us. Feet patter, hearts beat, lungs breathe, planets circle and seasons cycle to a rhythm. Music, poetry and dance are built on it.The rhythm of a poem – the drumbeats of its stressed and unstressed syllables – is called its meter.Meter is music. Meter is magic.Did you feel the Indian drumbeats in the preface to Longfellow's Hiawatha? Those drumbeats are caused by Longellow's careful arrangement of words so that their naturally accented syllables fall into a rhythmic pattern. But Longfellow's poem doesn't rhyme.Meter is more powerful than rhyme.By the shores of Gitchee Gumee,By the shining Big-Sea-Water,Stood the wigwam of Nokomis,Daughter of the Moon, Nokomis.Dark behind it rose the forest,Rose the black and gloomy pine-trees,Rose the firs with cones upon them;Bright before it beat the water,Beat the clear and sunny water,Beat the shining Big-Sea-Water.There the wrinkled old NokomisNursed the little Hiawatha,Rocked him in his linden cradle,Bedded soft in moss and rushes,Safely bound with reindeer sinews;Stilled his fretful wail by saying,“Hush! the Naked Bear will hear thee!”Lulled him into slumber, singing– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)Wow. Henry's been gone 125 years but his word-dance continues to enchant us.The poet hopes to move you, to make you see things differently, to alter your perspective. The poet hopes to persuade.If you don't want to hear any more about poetry and its power to move people, you should plan on skipping next Monday's Memo.Because I'm going to aim an arrow at your heart.And it's not even Valentine's Day.Roy H. Williams

Advertising isn't working like it did a few years ago. You've noticed this, right?Most advertisers are convinced that technology is to blame.TV advertisers will tell you that TiVo and her sister Digital Video Recorders are blocking their television ads. But according to a recent report released by Leichtman Research Group, only 12 percent of American households own a DVR.But TV ad results are down far more than 12 percent.Radio advertisers will tell you that everyone is listening to iPods and satellite radio. But in truth, most of radio's loss has been in the 12 to 17 year-old age group. These pre-adults are now spending only 51 quarter-hours per week listening to commercial radio, down from a zenith of 65 quarter-hours per week during the pre-Internet 80s and early 90s. The rest of us are listening about as much as we ever did. We wake up to radio alarm clocks and listen at work and in our cars. Overall, the audience for commercial radio has declined only about 4 percent over the past 3 years.But Radio ad results are down far more than 4 percent.Online news aggregators gather worldwide news for us and deliver it instantly to our desktops. Traditional Newspaper subscriptions are at an all-time low and so are Newspaper ad results. But the results are declining faster than subscriptions.Yes, technology is to blame. But not in the way that you think.I'm paid according to how much my clients grow, remember? So I don't really care what the problem is. My job is to find it and fix it.Here's what I've discovered, tested and proved:1: Internet surfing has trained us to disregard empty words.2: Relevance has become more important than repetition.Bottom line: Meaningful messages are working better than ever, especially when the fundamental premise of your ad is clearly stated in the opening line. Ads full of unsupported claims and overworked “image-building” phrases are being rejected before they ever enter the brain. So say what matters. Say it tight, say it true.The audience is still there. What's gone is their willingness to pay attention to drivel.You spend about a minute each day going though the mail delivered by the Post Office, right? Before Yahoo and Google came along, those 6 minutes each week constituted your total weekly exercise in the high-speed evaluation of content. But now you're spending more than a quarter-hour per day scanning search engine results and web pages for relevant, meaningful, salient information. These daily quarter-hours are teaching you – and your customers – to more quickly recognize and disregard word-fluff and other irrelevant information. We're learning to filter out hyperbole and empty phrases.Is this beginning to make sense to you?To make your advertising work like it should, you're going to have to:1. Talk about things your customer actually cares about.2. Write your ads in a style that rings true.3. Avoid heroic chest thumping. “We are the number one…” is now considered gauche and passé.4. Close the loopholes in your ads. Offer evidence to support what you say.5. Be specific. Details are more believable than generalities.6. Deliver a real message. Substance is more important than style.Creativity and repetition can no longer cover up the fact that an advertiser has nothing to say. You've got to have a message that matters.Do you?Roy H. Williams

Are you a one-person company with a lunch-money ad budget?Good News: Time and money are interchangeable. You can always save one by spending more of the other.When money is tight, spend time.(If you don't have any money AND you don't have any time, then you're spending your time on the wrong things.)The key to low-budget advertising is to focus on small groups and individuals.Here are some ways to do it:1. Door-hangers on Doorknobs. If your target is geographically defined, print doorknob-hangers and hang them on doors in your area. Results will be proportionate to the strength of your offer. So make your offer detailed and specific. “Join us for worship this Sunday morning” is less likely to bring visitors to a church than “Single Parent Support Group meets Wednesday nights at 7:00. Childcare provided.” When I was young and in the seamless guttering business, I'd walk yard-to-yard diagramming rooflines on estimate sheets. The homeowner came home to find taped to their door a schematic of their roofline with my detailed bid for what it would cost to install seamless guttering on their home. Worked like magic. COST: Ink, estimate sheets, and shoe leather.2. Flyers under Windshield Wipers. If you need to reach the drivers of a specific type of vehicle, such as pickup trucks, what better way than to walk your doorknob-hanging shoes across parking lots putting flyers under windshield wipers? Yes, you'll occasionally get run out of a parking lot by a security guard in a golf cart and some lonely soul who needs a life will call to complain that you're ruining the environment, but the results are usually worth the hassle.3. Purchased Word-of-Mouth. Ride up and down in the elevators of tall buildings, stand at bus stops, wait at crosswalks or hang around in coffee shops to tell strangers about your business. “Have you heard about _______? It's awesome.” It sounds nuts, I know, but it works. Pay a kid or do it yourself.4. Virtual Showroom. Convert your website to a virtual showroom. Use it as an instantly deliverable, interactive brochure when people call to ask details about your company, your products or your services. “Are you sitting in front of a computer? Good. Now go to BlahBlah.com. Yeah, that's me. Now click the button that says ‘Equipment.' See that second photo?” Think of this website as a place where you sit down to talk with interested prospects. Make sure the virtual showroom is equipped with all the same tools and props as your physical showroom. You'll be shocked what it does for the conversion rate of inquiries.5. Nighttime Silhouettes. You've probably never seen one of these… which means no one else in your town has seen one either. First, locate a tall wall in a part of town that has lots of traffic at night, especially foot traffic. Then arrange with the owner of that building – and the building across the street – to let you install a logo projector. They're effective and cheap. In some situations you can even use an old slide projector to achieve the desired effect.6. T-shirts and Vests. My little ad firm with its 41 offices worldwide was launched in 1978 with a T-shirt advertising a thought-for-the-day recorded on a telephone answering machine. “Take a Break in Your Day. Dial Daybreak. 258-7700.” I could only afford one such printed t-shirt. I wore it a lot. Daybreak evolved into the Monday Morning Memo and a trilogy of bestsellers, then became the foundation upon which Wizard Academy was built. Have you visited our 22-acre campus?7. Hand Stamps. One of my friends recently attended a ticketed event that required a hand-stamp for readmission. The hand-stamp was a delightful little mini-ad for one of the sponsors. Can you imagine a better advertising vehicle for creating personal identification with a brand? There's something about looking down at your own hand and seeing a logo and knowing that the image has value. You're having fun, the brand is there, and it's part of you. The ink might wash off, but the impression doesn't fade so quickly.8. Publicity Stunt. Few things are as powerful as a publicity stunt that wins public attention. Going for inclusion in the Guinness Book of World Records requires a lot of work, but holding a world record is extremely cool. Did you hear about the guy who dropped a golf ball at the edge of Mongolia, then whacked it 1,234 miles all the way to the other side? The journey required 12,170 swings of the club, 90 days and 510 lost balls. But he got interviewed by Jay Leno on The Tonight Show followed by The Today Show, CNN, CNN International, CTV, ESPN Cold Pizza, and PGA Tour Sunday. Articles were published about him in the New York Times and the Times of London. Then the Associated Press issued a worldwide story about the exploit. Outside Magazine featured him as one of its 25 Coolest People, the Men's Journal&

Are you anxious to look foolish in front of others?Will you happily submit yourself to ridicule?Are you willing to do a thing badly until you've learned to do it well?Probably not, unless you're the one in five hundred who has what it takes to succeed.“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. KennedyThe lone pioneer plunges ahead and discovers a world while four hundred and ninety-nine settlers whine for maps and roads.America was founded by pioneers.How might we dull a glistening nation?1. Pay the dullest and least impressive to educate the children.2. Create a system of teaching that judges everything as “correct” or “incorrect.” This will allow the dull and unimpressive to easily grade the children's tests.3. Discourage exploration.4. Reward conformity. Teach that inside the box is good.5. Celebrate sports. Make sure the children understand that taller, stronger kids have natural advantages that cannot be overcome. Build stadiums and hire announcers to shout the names of students who display physical dominance.6. Minimize school concerts and science fairs and art shows. Treat them as though they're for losers. Have them in the school cafeteria.Follow these 6 Simple Stepsand you can expect:1. Drop-Outs. Currently, 38 percent of America's children are dropping out of high school and that number is rising.2. Cloned Repetition. Have you noticed that every mall has exactly the same stores as every other mall and that every city has all the same restaurants?3. Death of Industry. The cars of once-mighty GM and Ford no longer excite us. We want cars designed by the children of foreigners.4. Street Gangs. If school taught us anything, it's that physical dominance is the key to reward.An outsider, observing how we educate our children, would be forced to conclude that we value:1. Efficient mediocrity, and2. Going in circlesBut do we really want to become a nation of Wal-Mart shoppers and NASCAR fans?Jeffrey Eisenberg told me that last line would horribly offend you. I hope he was wrong.Princess Pennie said that bright, motivated school teachers would feel marginalized and attacked. This certainly wasn't my intention. I know that every school has two or three dazzling teachers who are committed to doing all they can within the current, flawed system. These teachers know they could earn twice the money in the private sector but they're selling their lives just as surely as any other missionary, and they deserve our respect and admiration. But such teachers are the exception, not the rule.America's school system needs a major overhaul. My goal today is to remind you that, “If we don't change direction soon, we're likely to arrive where we are headed.”GOOD NEWS: Wizard Academy is now recognized by the government of the United States as an official, non-profit educational organization. Thanks to the tireless efforts of board member Corrine Taylor, we've been granted our 501c3.Unleash the hounds.Roy H. Williams

My friend and fellow Worthless Bastard Brett Feinstein occasionally quotes his business partner, Jamie, as saying, “Be for what is.” I think I understand what Jamie is saying.There are basically two ways of seeing:1. the way things ought to be.2. the way things are.Do you find yourself moaning about the injustice of it all and wishing that things were different? Follow the advice of Jamie and Bigteeth Ted, who said, “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”Be for what is.I wrote about this in chapter 76 of my first book, The Wizard of Ads. “Weasels are everywhere, incessantly singing their sad little song: If Only. 'If only I had a better education.' 'If only my boss liked me better.' 'If only I had married someone else.' 'If only I had invested in Chrysler when it was fifty cents a share…' There's a little weasel in all of us, and that weasel needs to be slapped. When your ears hear your lips start to sing the Song of the Weasel, you must learn to immediately slap the weasel within.”Now that we've established the wisdom of a pragmatic, clear-eyed worldview, let's examine the equal-but-opposite wisdom offered by that other hemisphere of your brain, the right:What might happen if a person simply rejected the way things are and insisted on seeing them as they ought to be?1. First, the person would be considered irrelevant, an impractical dreamer.2. If persistent, they'd become a nuisance.3. Then a renegade, a rebel, a lunatic and a heretic.4. Finally, a serious troublemaker and a borderline criminal.5. Later, the founder of a movement.Thomas Jefferson and George Washington. Mahatma Gandhi. Martin Luther King.“Every man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.” – Mark Twain“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends upon the unreasonable man.” – George Bernard ShawI'm not trying to be mysterious when I say I agree with both of these equal-but-opposite worldviews. We must Be for What Is if we are to accomplish anything in the short term, and we must Be the Crank with a New Idea if tomorrow is going to be better than today.Wizard Academy is a school for cranks with new ideas. Our plan is to change the world, one perspective at a time. I really can't put it more plainly than that. Is there anything in your world that needs changing? Come to Austin and we'll talk about it.It was my favorite pioneering educational genius from Brazil, Paolo Freire, who said,“Education either functions as1. an instrument which is used to facilitate integration of the younger generation into the logic of the present system and bring about conformity, or2. it becomes the practice of freedom, the means by which men and women deal critically and creatively with reality and discover how to participate in the transformation of their world.”Paolo Freire would have liked Wizard Academy.Helen Keller would have been at home here, too. She said, “The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.”Wizard Academy alumni are the creators of tomorrow's orthodoxy in the sciences, the arts, and marketing.I believe Pablo Picasso would have loved it here. “I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.”You gotta love the Pablo.But I think Robert Frost may have said it best:“Most of the change we think we see in lifeIs due to truths being in and out of favor.”Like me, Frost realized that both perspectives are true. Our society simply moves from one extreme to the other in an arc spanning exactly 40 years. And we've been doing it since the beginning of time.I suppose that's enough rambling for one day. Click the hyperlinks above and below if you want to stay on the trail of the elusive rabbit.Be well.Yours,Roy H. Williams