Where's the Lemonade?

Christmas Card 2013 Treat each kid uniquelyLunches. Darren made everyone the same thing. Paige asked the kids what they liked.You need to find out what they like and don't like.Sometimes a mall food court is the best option to take the family out.Give kids the opportunity to choose dinner.Discipline is different for each kid. The rules are the same but our reaction and discipline are different for each kid.The goal is to help the individual kid and keep some peace and tranquility in the house.Go One-on-OneSam gets a lot of one on one time.The other kids not as much. We want all of the kids together.We have had opportunities to be one one one. (Field Trips, trip to the grocery store, etc..)Date night with their kidsIndividual spontaneous time is just as good as a fully planned out activity.12-year-old trip with Dad.Individual trip when kids are adults - We try and make the opportunity when we can.Cook dinner with one of the kids on Thursday nights.Watch a show together.How do you teach to share when you want your kids to be individuals in a blended family.Be a TeamMake sure that each member knows that they are part of a team.Individualism is important but not at the cost of the family.Kids can be so unique or individualized that they do not see themselves as part of the family.Examples on being a teamCleaning the kitchen, the back yard, clean out the car.Everyone has a unique role that they play. Make sure they feel like they are part of a team and not just an individual.Sometimes it is too bad that the kids don't like doing something. They are part of the family.The kids might be resentful at first but in the end, they are grateful.Don't Play FavoritesWe joke about this a lot.Every day, our favorite changes depending on what they are bringing to the family.Family gifts or souvenirs from travels. The kids notice who is getting what.Equity and uniqueness are key.Make sure you don't just peanut butter everyone with the same thing.Most meaningful is individualized. Christmas ornaments. (Grandma's give the same, parents try to be unique)Funny moment of the WeekMadeline trying to mimic one of the acts on America's got Talent (Courtney Hadwin). Nothing like your 14-year-old daughter trying to sing a classic rock song she has never heard.Linkshttp://refreshedmag.com/4-ways-to-make-every-kid-in-a-large-family-feel-special/https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/advice/6-small-ways-to-make-each-of-your-kids-feel-special/ ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Your history has a profound effect on who you are. When you are in a second marriage that includes your relationship with your previous spouse. Sometimes learning about your spouse's previous relationships can be difficult, but we have found over the years that it has given us a better understanding of each other, where we have come from and what has shaped and molded each of us.Why your previous life is importantThe experiences that you have had made you who you are.Understanding your spouse's previous experiences is important to understand them, their triggers, and why they do what they do.Don't say previous life, previous marriage. Might be sensitive to your kidsThe kids' life and who they are is made up of the experiences with their parents. You cannot erase them. Remember when you try to erase or talk bad about your ex-spouse you are trying to erase part of your child. This can be very isolating and damaging to your relationship with your child.Fitting in and Accepting your new spotAccepting your spouse's previous life.Finding out how you fit into the traditions that have been established.Inside JokesGames that are a family traditionMonopolySpoonsNertsStories of vacations, funny stories, sad storiesPictures looking at old pictures of when the kids where younger with your ex-spouse. When the kids where bornThe first day at school, other special eventsThe homes that you lived in.Put on your big girl panties and do what is best for your kids.Celebrating Put up pictures of your previous life so the kids can see. They are not all over the house but the kids can see that we have not erased their childhoodKids have pictures in their rooms of their parents.Adopting places that you eat and restaurantsSushi for Darren's kidsLincoln Chinese for Paige's KidsTraditions in GeneralAsk your spouse about their Ex and what it was like to live with them.Talk openly and freely without getting offended if your spouses want to know or don't want to know.Be cognizant if your reminiscing is bothering your spouse. Don't spend too much time on this. Over time this should be easier to talk about it.Funny Moment of the Week.Alexa interrupting family prayer. Very hard to finish prayer without laughing. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Every marriage includes different times when you have to compromise. In a blended family, there are even more opportunities to practice your compromising skills. In this episode, we explore different kinds of compromise and how best to work through the hard decisions you have to make.Blended Family CompromisesSmall thingsWhose pots and pans to keepStorage BinsSocks in the sock basketSoda at Dinner at a restaurantWhere to liveWorkSchools to go toChurchSports BedroomWhy Compromise (Win-Win, Win-Lose, and Lose-Lose)You have to.You can't both get exactly what you want you will have to give and take.Some people are saying don't compromise because if you compromise then neither person is happy.Some have come up with different names for the same thing. Solution, Deal, etc..Examples of compromiseWin-WinWin-LoseLose-Lose Making Compromises TipsCommunicate Your Needs ClearlyListen (Without Interrupting)Carefully weight Your OptionsPut Yourself in Your Partner's shoes (Get in the Trenches)Consider What is FairMake a Decision and Stick With ItCheck-In with One AnotherFunny Moment of the WeekDarren leaves his suit in a hotel mimicking David's mistake from the Heritage trip. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In this episode, we talked to our older kids, the kids that were out of the house or teenagers when we got married. We asked them some hard questions about blending families, bonding with a step parent and fitting into this new family. We had our eyes opened as our kids did not hold back in their answers. We learned some new things, laughed and cried.Why was it so hard for the kidsYour older kids are typically not with you all of the time. Kids may not know the true motives of you marrying. For example, are you marrying to be saved? What do your kids think?Older kids might have a hard time seeing you show affection with your new spouse.They might feel that you are replacing their parent.They are feeling like the other kids might exclude the other family when they are bringing up old memories when they were growing up.They have a hard time seeing their family unit change into something else.How to bond with older children?RelaxDo nothing together.Be there physically and mentally.Embrace the old and the new.Get to know one another.Bribing does work. Bribing is also bonding.Celebrate old traditions like Lincoln Chinese.Create new traditions together.Don't replace their parent, don't even try. Be authentically you, don't try to be or compete with the ex.Be patient and give it some time. It could be a lot of time is needed, years, but don't give up.Funny Moment of the Week.Sam, Jake, and Paige could not figure out how to break down a stroller to put into the car. They ended up just putting the whole stroller in the back of the car. When Rachel came home she pulled one lever and the whole thing collapsed.LinksDallin's Venmo Account - Dallin-Pulsipher please listen to the podcast to find out how to help ;) ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Family Heritage Roadtrips help give your kids a sense of belonging and roots. With a blended family, it can be tricky if you don't plan things out carefully. This episode is a travel episode of our Heritage road, find out what worked well for us and did not.Why a heritage road trip?It gives the kids a sense of roots and belonging How do you handle a heritage road trip when one family is from one part of the country and the other is from somewhere else?Finding a common heritage by going to American History sites that we can all relate tooChurch History sites brought all of us togetherIdeas for riding in the car for so so long...Listen to a book that we can all get behindPaige always looks at articles for best young adult booksWe like Gordon Korman - Restart good bookAnna Sheehan's book A Long, Long Sleep - really interestingListen at 1.25x speed. Otherwise, it is too slow for usFind a book or podcast to listen to about where you are goingWe should have listened to some of the histories of where we were going before we got there. We listened after we visited the sites and that helped cement the memory of going to the sites after the factMusic is always a great way to go.Have your playlist set up that everyone knowsHave multiple playlists for different kids or moods you want to set. Quiet, loud, bored, etc...Kids get to take turns picking a song or their song listQuiet timeFood glorious food in the carDunkin Donuts are everywhere in MA. So we decided to stop and get something for breakfast and 25 donut holes for "on the road" snacking. A 12 and 13-year-old boy can easily eat 25 donut holes given the opportunity.Make sure you hold some food back for yourselves if you have teenagers in the carI cleaned up the car before dropping it at the rental car place. Not fair. It took me about 5 minutes just to get the garbage out of the car. Next time the kids need to do it. It will teach them to not make such a big mess.Sometimes we need to take a break from just listening to the books, replace with quiet time, music, etc..No electronics during the car ride. This was a new road trip for us and we wanted the kids to see and experience the scenery, and roadside attractions.At the destinationWeather in the spring can change dramatically from day to day. Check your handy weather app on your phone daily. Make sure you plan for bad weather and good weather (cold and warm)The weather was not great for parts of our trip but we still did what we had plannedCrane beach in the cold and windBoston in the rain. (We drove the freedom trail instead of walked it)Umbrellas were essential for our trip. We could have used some better rain gear and better shoes for the rainAt breakfast, we always talked about the plan for the day, what we were going to see, why it was important, and what we were hoping to get out of the visitWe did not plan for every hour, we left for some flexibility so we can discover and explore at the different sites. We had a general plan and a list of items we wanted to doBe ok with taking extra time at a location if one of your kids is fixated with the location or event there. Don't be so stuck on a scheduleTake lots of pictures. We love looking at the pictures of our trips. It brings back memories of the fun times we had together and our experiencesRecord what you saw and experienced during your trip not just at the endFunny moment of the weekListen to the kids record funny moments on the trip.LinksTravel Log of our tripYoutube Channel ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Darren & Paige at a Pink ConcertWe thought the topic of depression and anxiety was important to cover because Paige suffers from clinical depression and Darren has suffered from situational depression in the past. In this episode, we talk about tools to help your spouse through their depression, how to identify the difference between the situational and clinical depression, and how to decrease the triggers that contribute to depression and anxiety.The Stigma of Depression and AnxietyAttitudes toward depression have changed over the years.Darren's Mom and her fight with Post-Partum depression after her last child.Situational DepressionTriggers of Depression (divorce, loss of a job, the death of a close friend, a serious accident, moving, or other major life changes, such as retirement)Clinical DepressionThis is not easily overcome. No one knows what causes it. Neurotransmitters may be to blame.How to help your SpouseHard to know what to do when your spouse is depressed.Sometimes they want to talk to you about it, sometimes not. It is hard to tell. Be patient.Open Communication is key. If you have already established a strong open communication then you can more easily talk about their depression.Do not judge, just be patient and try to lift the day to day burdens they might have. Know when it is time to help them get out of bed. With kindnessRead the environment, find out what helps. The little victories are really big.How to help yourselfGratitude Journal, focusing on the positive things in life is important to overcome the feelings of hopelessness that you may be experiencing.Take care of yourself, exercise, get outside, eat well.A simple walk around the block can do wonders for you.Change the lighting in your house. More windows, light with broader spectrum mimics sunlight.Get good sleep.Serve other people.Forgive yourself and others.Reach for a higher power.Seek a good therapist that teaches you techniques not just listens to you complain.Seek medical advice. Find out what is really going on. Blood work might be needed. We found a functional doctor that looked at all of your systems was best. Do NOT be afraid to be on medication if necessary. No shame in being on medication.Find a little thing that you can accomplish. Just to make you feel like you did something productive. Ironing Darren's shirts or doing the laundry.Funny Moment of the WeekWe are headed on a family trip which includes an airplane flight from San Fransisco to Boston. We were talking to the kids about what they are most excited about and David our youngest said he is very excited to sit next to a stranger on the airplane. :) So whoever was in seat 25F from SFO to BOS, hope you had a good time sitting next to a 12-year-old boy that wanted to talk. :) Linkshttps://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/314698.phphttps://adaa.org/finding-help/helping-others/spouse-or-partnerhttps://www.psycom.net/help-partner-deal-with-depression/Waiting to enter Pink ConcertNice kiss at the concert. Notice Darren's earplugs. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Transparency in marriage is a hot topic in social media right now. The constant pull between personal privacy and sharing everything with your spouse has several couples at odds and is lighting up the blended family social groups. In this episode, we discuss how we tackle this hard issue.Start with a mutual understandingBoth Paige and I had trust issues because of our previous relationships.Come up with an agreement that bans secrets from your marriage.Your spouse is the one person that you should be completely open with.A mutual understanding of transparency helps hold you accountable.For us that meant:Everything has to out in the open: Email, texts, account passwords, etc.Watch out for land mines of trust (Triggers from a previous relationship)Remind each other that we are not the person from the previous relationship.Give your spouse first priorityIf you have good or important news, your spouse should be the first one to know.Darren has a friend who found out his daughter had her baby through social media instead of a phone call while he was watching other Grandkids. Don’t go to your friends first. We share with our spouse first due to respect and love for them.Sometimes you want a specific reaction that you know your friend will give to you, but you need to still tell your spouse first.Have obvious and open accountsShare passwords on all social media, email, phones, etc..All of our texts can be viewed by each other at any time.Email is easily accessible and readable by each other.All online accounts are known by both of us and we have complete transparency with communication.Make sure your online accounts clearly state your marital status. And that you are happy to be married.Communication is also shared that we have with our ex-spouses.From the National Law Review: (Social Media is affecting relationships)1/3 of all legal action in divorce cases are precipitated by affairs started online.81% of attorneys find evidence worth presenting on social media.66% involving divorce employe Facebook as one of their principle evidence sources.Talk about everything oftenA danger sign is when you start sharing more details of your life with friends than your spouse. Especially someone of the opposite sex.We have an agreement that we are not alone with someone of the opposite sex. Sometimes that is unavoidable, but we make every effort. A story of Darren not telling Paige about a co-worker and Christmas shopping for Paige.The bad news is important news too. Do not withhold bad news from your spouse. Your spouse is there to help you and not tear you down.You and your spouse are going through this life together.If you are afraid to share bad news with your spouse because you are worried about their reaction. You need to seek counseling.When you stop sharing with your spouse, walls of distrust start building up.Let your guard downAllow your spouse to know you intimately, personally, closely like no one else can know you.This often requires hurts, disagreements, and regular forgiveness.“We are imperfect people who understand perfect love.”Linkshttps://www.allprodad.com/how-to-be-transparent-in-your-marriage/https://www.natlawreview.com/article/family-law-social-media-evidence-divorce-cases Funny moment of the WeekFrom our daughter Rachel we learned that our Granddaughter Emma wanted to become a dog." Emma threw a fit today because she wanted me to make her a "real puppy "... ummm... what? Can the terrible threes be over with already?I even tried like putting bowls of water and food on the ground and having her fetch. But she just kept freaking out and saying she wasn't a real puppy and was still a girl."Our little Emma Jane ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

The Three Amigos - 2012It can be really difficult blending families, imagine what is like to blend with 10 siblings. Blending includes not just your kids it includes your siblings and parents as well. In this episode, we look at the pitfalls and the success of joining a big family that already has a history with your spouse's former spouse.Joining the extended familyBeing accepted in the family can be difficult or easy depending on the family.Your spouse has a history with their siblings and parents. You will now become part of that history.Family dynamics are different in each family.You have to find where you fit in the family.Being Dropped into family relationshipsConsider the size of the family. Darren’s family has 6 siblings, Paige’s has 4 siblings.The sibling placement makes a difference as well. Darren was in the middle, Paige was the baby by 6 years.Darren’s younger siblings remember his first wife when they were young teenagers. They grew up knowing her. 20 years of history.Paige’s siblings were already grown and some had kids of their own when Paige first got married.Siblings and parents are concerned.Families looking up social media, Google search, and people finder, etcDarren’s sister had been divorced for some time and had been dating for many years and was concerned. She told him to make sure he found someone that was financially secure, had strong/similar morals and did not need to be emotionally rescued. Paige had 1 1/2 out of 3 ;) Everyone needs to rescued to some extent after divorce.Siblings can be very protective of you and your kids. They don’t want to see you hurt again.Replacing your spouse’s ex in their family (You cannot replace them, you are an addition)When asked about the transition, Darren's siblings said it was difficult because they knew and liked her.One of the sisters-in-law mentioned she knew Darren’s ex for 20 years, vacationed together, were pregnant together, experienced several things together. She said she likes Paige just as much as Darren’s Ex. We all had a good laugh about that when we saw Paige's reaction. Hard sometimes to hear siblings talking together about family trips or events that you have not been part of.What we learned from our experiencesBe patient you need to build new memories with the new siblings.Be okay with people bringing up memories of your spouse ’s ex. This is part of your spouse’s history and you will hear stories about vacations they had with the family and fun times together etc. This is something you have to just swallow your pride and try and enjoy hearing about your spouse's former life.If possible, meet the family one-on-one. With large families, it can be overwhelming to meet everyone at once and be thrown directly into the mix. Meeting one sibling at a time can be more manageable.It takes an effort to build relationships with your spouse's siblings. Take time to make opportunities to build memories.Funny Moment of the WeekPaige tries to scare the kids after watching America's Got Talent with the "Scared Riana".Darren & Paige and her siblingsDarren & Paige and his siblings ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Engagement PictureLove does not conquer allFor those of you that think everything has been rosy. It has not.This has brought up some tension and memories of the hard times. Sacramento Airport.We were naive enough that we thought love would be able to handle all of the problems we faced. That helped but was not enough.Everything was hard.Meshing kids. We had two 16-year-olds that were completely different from different kinds of friends. One very social and another not very social at all. You cannot force them to be friends, and they didn't want to be. Now they are really good friends.Meshing rules. Is there a double standard for some of the kids? Or is everything the same?Meshing discipline. Understanding boundaries with step kids were hard. Older kids and younger kids.Expectations for a clean house. Darren's idea of clean is picked up. Not clean. Paige wanted things cleaned.Logistics of a blended familyMovingLogistics. What to keep what to throw out? Where do we fit everything? Two households crammed into one place.Moving kids from schools, friends, church. etc..Paige and kids trying to overcome feeling like guests in the house.Finances were hardFood was hard, what to cook, what did kids like what did they not like. How much to cook.Going to church in the same congregation as Darren’s Ex-WifeWhose friends are whose? Who can I talk to? Who do I vent to, etc?Going out to dinner was a challenge. Soda or water? Why was it contentious?Remember your kids in the changesKids have such little control over the situation so they want to have some control over the situation. Mountain Dew (Jake), Jacob with his long hair.The kids need to feel like they have some control and some say. Marriage counseling and other help that got us through itMarriage Counseling was a big win for us.The night we got engaged was our first counseling session.Consistently working with a counselor allowed us to establish communication patterns faster than normal. Something we needed to navigate all of the stuff we brought with us. Kids, Exes, jobs, debt, etc…Empathy - Get in the trenches with each other. Instead of getting upset with what they are feeling, try and understand what they are feeling. And why they are feeling that.Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. Assume the best first.Don’t find fault with your spouse, you will find it.Communication, laughter, alone time, intimacy, not wanting to fail.Funny moment of the weekDarren had an allergic reaction to sunscreen and turned into the guy from Hitch. He had to take Benedryl for the flight home. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This episode is about surviving and maybe even enjoying, road trips with your family. They can really be a time of bonding (or total stress!) with some preparation. Food, audible, games and electronics can get you through it!! Road trips can build memories:We just got back from a quick trip to visit our new Grand-baby Zoey Anne. We left on Thursday night and came home on Sunday. So we were in the car for 23 hours an in Utah for 40 hours. Totally worth it!Long road trips are something uniquely American, and even more so in Western America. Memories of long road trips growing up. Do you remember when your mom or dad lost it? Or do you remember the restaurant that you always stopped at? Darren's family took several trips from Central CA to Southern CA to visit grandma. He remembers the road trips more than all of the places we stayed. The "Tickle Tummies" south of four corners outside of Mojave.Paige remembers the long trek from OK to Disney World with their camper. So fun!The story of Ruby dying in St George and how we ended up renting two cars to drive home. We drove across Nevada to Death Valley and turned a sad time for a family into a trip we would remember. Trips, a time of bonding and/or a time of stress:Use this time to bond with your kids.Audible is your friend for long trips, it's important to find a book that everyone in the car can listen to and will enjoy. This can be difficult when you have kids of all ages in the car.It will give you something to talk about after your trip and even during your trip.Even if they are on other electronics, make sure they don't have headphones in. Be mindful of the amount of time the kids are on electronics. We travel to Utah a lot. Half of our Kids live there and all of our grand-kids live there. So we know the road. Finding common places to stop and eat or stay the night gives us a tradition that the kids enjoy. Like Long John Silvers in Winnemucca, NV. Paige's favorite.Jumping on beds in hotel rooms and other silly things. Sorry, Marriott...Swimming in the middle of winter at hotels on long trips. Kids are a captive audience you can basically talk to them about anything.Find unusual things to do along the long trip. A 20-minute detour may be worth it.Dangers of the long road trip:The infamous Donner Pass, snow, sleet, rain, freezing ice, freezing fog.How to not to get too comfy in the car. Don't read your phone in the car or you'll get car sick.Darren tells his story of falling asleep when driving across I 80 from California to Utah and the accident that happened.Tips for long road trips:DVDs for little kids are great. But it drives parents crazy. When the kids got older we started books on tape.Making long trips into multiple days making sure you have plenty of good snacks in the car that don't make too big of a mess. Seating the kids in the car in strategic places, very important.Being prepared for the car sick kid. It's okay to throw clothes away and buy new ones at Target or Walmart along the way. Limit the fluids so you do not have potty breaks every 30 minutes. Make sure you get a hotel that serves breakfast. Kids love that. Julianne said she loved free breakfast. I love free food. (all of her food is free...)Pack so you don't have to unpack the whole car to stay one night at a hotel along the way.Tips on arriving home, empty the car immediately it will never empty itself no matter how long you wait.Everyone helps clean out the car and empty the car when we get home.Useful linkshttps://www.smartertravel.com/family-road-trips/https://www.travelchannel.com/interests/family/articles/family-road-trip-survival-guidehttps://localadventurer.com/great-american-road-trips/https://www.wheresthelemonade.org/2019/03/ode-to-ruby.html - Ode to Ruby our car.Snow at Donner SummitOur beloved RubyD&P ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

How do you extend your blending family through the generations? Our parents showed us through their example of accepting and bringing our blended family directly into our family. We have learned as we are starting to add grandchildren that who they biologically belong to really does not matter. In this episode, we talk about how to make the blending extended beyond just our family. We have found that there is no step in Grandma and Grandpa, or Aunt and Uncle.Our two Grandbabies (Emma Jane and Zoey Anne)Extending the blended family across multiple generationsOur parents - Grandparents accepting the blended familyBecoming Grandparents in a blended familyTips on GrandparentingOur parents have accepted the new step grandkids as their own.One of the great gifts that our parents gave us when we got married was accepting our kids as their grandkids. This has given the kids a sense of belonging in a period of chaos and uncertainty.Darren’s Mom gives out $100 for each grandkid that can kiss her on the forehead. The day we got married she gave one of Paige’s kids $100 because he could.Darren’s Mom makes quilts for each grandkid and now great-grandchild. With the addition of our grandchildren, she has not missed a beat.Paige’s Mom made ornaments for all of the grandkids and included Darren’s kids on the first Christmas.Birthday cards and presents for all of our kids. Graduation, weddings, etc. Both of our parents have done this. The kids feel apart of their now extended family.Paige's Dad hand writes letters to our kids on missions. Every week. Like he has done with all of his grandkids.That inclusion was a big deal for Paige and Darren and the kids as well.Bringing Grandkids into the Blended FamilyNothing brings a family closer together than a baby being born.Establishing traditions for all of the grandkids.That has been true for our kids and us. With the birth of our first grandbaby. All of the kids became instant Aunts and uncles. No step-uncles or step-aunts.Watch out for your grandkids not understanding that not all of their aunts and uncles will always be there because of custody.There are no step grandkids (No yours, or mine)There is no Step in Grandma and Grandpa. Our little grandbaby just calls us Grandma with (Heidi and Buster our dogs) and Grandpa.She loves beyond the boundaries of the families.Married kids have really made it seem like we are one family, not multiple families coming together. Older kids have really made this one family.Tips about being a GrandparentBeing a Grandparent is very rewarding, and we love how much joy we get from seeing our children raise the next generation.Being a parent is different than being a grandparent.Let your kids learn how to parent with their kids.Only give advise when asked (Hard to hold your tongue, sometimes)Remember you are not your grandkids parent.Have fun with your Grandkids, it is ok to spoil but don’t counteract your kid's wishes. No matter how weird or bizarre they may seem.You still need to set boundaries with your grandkids and your kids.Funny Moment of the WeekEmma a telling Rachel that she wanted to hold Zoey first before anyone else.Ornaments from Paige's MomQuilt from Darren's Mom ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Too many Christmas PresentsWhy Traditions are importantThey give us a foundation to build our lives onThey give us a sense of roots and belongingWe asked the kids what they thoughtThe Younger kids had a different perspective than the older kids They can only remember the traditions that we currently haveThey have some that are doubled upOlder kids rememberSome of the traditions when we were still married to their parents. Some we have droppedSome of the traditions that we continue to do give them a sense of belonging to this new familyBuilding Traditions in Blended FamiliesKeep Traditions (Combining)Choose one over anotherCreating new onesKeeping TraditionsKeeping both traditions for the same eventSausage Fondue and Eggs Benedict - combined Christmas breakfastSausage Fondue is from Paige’s first husbands familyGiving the kids an ornament is from Paige’s first husbands familyActing out the NativityFondue on Christmas EveEaster baskets Carving Pumpkins. Only kids like, we wouldn't mind if it went away ;)Choosing one over anotherOpening Christmas Presentsopening Christmas presents one at a timethis took 6 hours the first time to open presents.we wanted to be the Disneyland parents the first Christmas. Yes, we tried to buy our kids acceptance of the blended familyChristmas Dinnerdropped Darren's typical dinner and went with Paige'sCreating new onesWe tried a new tradition of going to a tree farm to get a Christmas tree for a few years.ended up at home depot to get a treewe now have a fake tree.Ice cream for dinner (fail, everyone was sick). Dinner for dessertMonday night swim partiesSwimming at ChristmasIkea Scavenger HuntValentine days auctionDancing before bedReading Scriptures never really took hold until Dallin challenged us to read scriptures consistently, which is now 5 years and goingIce Skating at Christmas every year (No one totally enjoys this, everything hurts and we are cold, but it is fun. ;)Cooking competitionThe most important thing about TraditionsIt is never too late to start. This is for blended and traditional familiesSome things are kids said:Julianne said, “I was a hardcore traditionalist when I was little. If we altered traditions, especially after my parent's divorce, it was hard for me. After our families blended, they were combined and formed so well. I am so grateful for all our fun traditions, especially our new ones. ”Jacob said, “Doing fun things together has really made a difference with our family. I see a lack of that with other families”Amanda Said, “When it comes down to it, traditions don't really matter, what matters is the meaning behind them, which is being a family and being together and that is where you guys have excelled and made all of us feel so loved and welcomed and part of something bigger than we were before.”The funny moment this week.After church on Sunday, we were talking about what we learned. Madeline mentioned Christ taught when someone slaps you, you need to turn the other cheek. As she said this she pretended to slap her brother. He moved at the perfect time and got a good little slap. She then said, "Sam, turn the other cheek!" He, in turn, said that he learned in Church how to control his anger and that he hoped Madeline could learn how to control her anger. It was pretty funny and we all laughed so hard that we could not finish dinner.Links for this weekDallin's Shrimp ScampiLloyd Sausage FondueIkea Scavenger HuntIce Cream for DinnerValentines' Day AuctionIKEA Scavenger Hunt ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Anton Valley Panama Why we go on trips?Your life does not start alone, you are dropped off in the middle of a bunch of stuff!There is no beginning with just the two of you.Important to disconnect from everyone and everything.Second Marriages don’t have a real honeymoon time. Things we have learned about spending time together alone.Understanding what helps the other person relax (Paige read a book, Darren Program)Finding out what we enjoy togetherFinding out what annoys the otherTrip HighlightsPanama, why? It was warm and we have not been there yet and not too expensive.Riding horses on the beach.We stayed in Rio Hato Buenaventura. Marriott Plug.We went to Anton Valley, ate at an incredible restaurant in Casa de Lourdes.Darren got a speeding ticket. Not his first in a foreign country.Came up with the idea of doing a podcastWe spend time (not too much) talking about our future long term and short term.Where we want to live?Family ReunionsFalling in love all over again. Focused attention on each other and nothing else.The most important relationship is our relationship.The kids feel and notice how much we are in love.Funny MomentOn this last trip, Darren was told he can go on the old person elevator at the Panama Canal.Beautiful Flowers and a Beautiful LadyMiraflores Panama CanalBuenaventura Rio Hato Panama Sunset ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Brief historyBoth found ourselves divorced after over 20 years.We met online. Paige was the first girl to flirt with Darren online.It was hard to go on a date for the first time after 20 years.Did not want to introduce dates to kids until this was more serious.Lives are thrown together, no way to prepare.6 (Darren’s) + 4 (Paige’s) = 10 KidsWhen we first got married we had 7 kids at home with 7 different schedulesHow Paige sacrificed her career to stay at home and keep things running.After some time Paige started an Etsy shop. Daisy Blossom Creations. Check it out here.We survived how did we do it?Why are we doing this?We wish we had some practical advice from someone who was going through the same thing as us.Our friends that hadn't been through a divorce really couldn't understand what we were going through and how we were figuring it out.We have friends that are interested and curious about how we are making blending two large families together. And we seem to be fairly happy while we are making this work.We have talked to several other families that are in similar situations and have shared ideas and swapped stories. We want to share what we have learned with more people. In an effort help.We are not experts and will never be. We make mistakes every day. But we are trying to learn from them and share with others.The format of the showSometimes guests, like our kids or friends that have gone through the same thing.Topics we might cover: scheduling, traditions, time alone, grandparents, etc...7 kids dropped their bags, kicked off their shoes. How to keep a clean house?How to go from being a guest in the house to a parent.7 schedules 7 kids and tons of food. How to cook for that many people on a daily basis?If you have questions or thoughts you want us to cover check our website http://www.wheresthelemonade.org. facebook, or twitter.Every episode will have a short blog with some pictures. http://www.wheresthelemonade.orgEvery week we will have a funny moment.Funny Moment:One of our kids loved the “Lego Movie 2” because it taught a “life lesson”, we thought wow he is maturing and understanding meaning in movies. Then we asked him what did you learn. “I Don’t know”. So we are part way there with maturity. There is still hope there. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★