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Show Notes: In this insightful interview, Tonya talks with Arianna Bradford, an expert on ADHD and founder of the "Chase the Chaos" digital summit. Arianna shares her personal experiences with ADHD, discussing the challenges she faced growing up, the impact of her diagnosis, and her journey of self-discovery. She emphasizes the importance of understanding the diverse manifestations of ADHD and highlights the misconceptions surrounding the condition. Throughout the interview, Arianna addresses common stereotypes about ADHD, debunking the myths and explaining how ADHD affects individuals differently. She emphasizes that ADHD is not solely a childhood disorder and provides valuable insights into the specific challenges adults with ADHD may encounter. Arianna sheds light on executive functioning and the difficulties it poses for people with ADHD, including time management, organization, and impulsivity. She discusses strategies to cope with these challenges, such as creating routines, using reminders, and employing various tools and apps. The conversation delves into the relationship between ADHD and emotional regulation, highlighting the heightened emotional sensitivity often experienced by individuals with ADHD. Arianna shares coping mechanisms and encourages seeking professional support to manage emotions effectively. Tonya and Arianna discuss the benefits of a supportive community for people with ADHD, acknowledging the significance of connecting with like-minded individuals who understand the challenges and triumphs associated with the condition. Arianna further explores the link between creativity and ADHD, describing how ADHD individuals often have a strong ability to recognize patterns, which is sometimes mistaken for psychic abilities. She encourages embracing this creativity and incorporating self-care practices into daily life. The interview concludes with Arianna sharing her upcoming "Chase the Chaos" digital summit, a platform for people with ADHD who enjoy focusing on multiple interests. The summit aims to create a community where diverse interests are celebrated, and individuals can learn from experts and share experiences. Overall, Arianna's expertise and personal journey provide a comprehensive understanding of ADHD, breaking down stigmas and offering practical strategies for navigating life with this unique condition. ******************* Connect with Arianna: Website: https://youradhdone.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thearibradford/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AdhDONE Resource mentioned during this episode: Chase the Chaos Online Summit: https://chasethechaos.thrivecart.com/ctc-summit-ticket/ Theta Wave Study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4973024/ Connect with Us: https://linktr.ee/waterprairie Support this channel: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/waterprairie Music Used: “LazyDay” by Audionautix is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/  Artist: http://audionautix.com/

ADHD Coach Insights

Show Notes:

In this insightful interview, Tonya talks with Arianna Bradford, an expert on ADHD and founder of the “Chase the Chaos” digital summit. Arianna shares her personal experiences with ADHD, discussing the challenges she faced growing up, the impact of her diagnosis, and her journey of self-discovery. She emphasizes the importance of understanding the diverse manifestations of ADHD and highlights the misconceptions surrounding the condition.

Throughout the interview, Arianna addresses common stereotypes about ADHD, debunking the myths and explaining how ADHD affects individuals differently. She emphasizes that ADHD is not solely a childhood disorder and provides valuable insights into the specific challenges adults with ADHD may encounter.

Arianna sheds light on executive functioning and the difficulties it poses for people with ADHD, including time management, organization, and impulsivity. She discusses strategies to cope with these challenges, such as creating routines, using reminders, and employing various tools and apps.

The conversation delves into the relationship between ADHD and emotional regulation, highlighting the heightened emotional sensitivity often experienced by individuals with ADHD. Arianna shares coping mechanisms and encourages seeking professional support to manage emotions effectively.

Tonya and Arianna discuss the benefits of a supportive community for people with ADHD, acknowledging the significance of connecting with like-minded individuals who understand the challenges and triumphs associated with the condition.

Arianna further explores the link between creativity and ADHD, describing how ADHD individuals often have a strong ability to recognize patterns, which is sometimes mistaken for psychic abilities. She encourages embracing this creativity and incorporating self-care practices into daily life.

The interview concludes with Arianna sharing her upcoming “Chase the Chaos” digital summit, a platform for people with ADHD who enjoy focusing on multiple interests. The summit aims to create a community where diverse interests are celebrated, and individuals can learn from experts and share experiences.

Overall, Arianna’s expertise and personal journey provide a comprehensive understanding of ADHD, breaking down stigmas and offering practical strategies for navigating life with this unique condition.

*******************

Connect with Arianna:

• Website: https://youradhdone.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thearibradford/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AdhDONE

Resource mentioned during this episode:

• Chase the Chaos Online Summit: https://chasethechaos.thrivecart.com/ctc-summit-ticket/
• Theta Wave Study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4973024/

Connect with Us: https://linktr.ee/waterprairie

Support this channel: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/waterprairie

Music Used:

“LazyDay” by Audionautix is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 Artist: http://audionautix.com/

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Meet Today’s Guest:

Arianna Bradford is an ADHD coach and multipassionate entrepreneur who believes in supporting ADHD adults through figuring out how to work with their brains instead of against them. After finding out she, herself, had ADHD in 2021, Arianna became dedicated to understanding the disorder and helping others around the way. She is also a writer, singer, amateur herbalist, and parent of two children, one of whom is also ADHD. She lives in Costa Rica with her husband, the aforementioned two children, her cat and her dog, and she’s super excited to be here.

 

 

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Episode #70: ADHD Coach’s Secrets

Empowering Special Needs Parents for Success

(Recorded July 17, 2023)

Full Transcript of Interview:

Tonya: Arianna, welcome to Water Prairie.

Arianna: Thank you for having me.

Sure. This is, I’ve been looking forward to this interview. Um, we’ve talked a little bit trying to get our schedules meshed together, but I’ve really been looking forward to digging into this a little bit. Um, for those who’ve been listening, I have a son who has ADHD and I have never been officially tested, but, um, have many, many markers.

So, it’ll be interesting to hear your story and your own journey as well. But before we get started, this season I’ve been, um, playing a game called two, two truths and a lie with my guests. And I’ve asked everyone to share three facts or pseudo-facts about themselves. And Ariana has agreed to play the game with us.

So what are your three facts that you want to share with us?

Okay. So my three facts are, um, I have, I am one of nine. I have eight brothers and sisters. Uh, I moved to the country of Costa Rica in 2021. And I started college at the age of 15.

Wow. All right. So if you’re listening for the first time, the way that you play the game is you want to go, if you’re watching on YouTube, you want to go to the comment section and post your guess of what you think the lie is or the two truths, whichever way you want to type it.

If you’re listening to it or reading it on the website. Then go to our Instagram or Twitter accounts and post your answer there where the posting is for this. And we will post the answer a week after we, um, release this episode. So, um, so we’ll see how many, how many of you are able to get this right.

Right. Right. So yours are very different too. The three that are on there. So it’ll be interesting to see what everyone thinks.

I did that on purpose.

Right.

I like to try to confuse as many people as possible. That’s kind of my way of doing things.

So if you’re listening, the key here is listen through the interview because you may get some hints of what the answers are.

And then you can always go back and listen to that section again if you need if you need a reminder of what the three are, that you’re guessing on. But today we’re going to be talking about ADHD as the broad topic and digging in a little bit here. Um, Ariana, you have a personal journey with ADHD yourself.

But then you also, um, are an ADHD coach. So can you tell me how you came to know that you have ADHD and then what led you to become a coach from there?

Right. So my way of finding out I had ADHD is actually not that special. If I’m a hundred percent honest from all the people I’ve spoken to my age, uh, you know, I would kind of like to act like it’s a special service.

Really not. Basically what happened was, um, my son. He was five years old at the time and he was really starting to struggle at school and, um, it’s weird because without speaking to each other, my husband and I had actually both started to suspect he had ADHD at three, but we, you know, we looked up what the, the, the symptoms are for a child and it’s really hard when they’re that young to know how much of it is they’re a child and how much of it is they have ADHD.

So. We had been trying to hold out for as long as we could before we got a diagnosis, but when he hit five, it really started to cause problems at school, and it was really starting to mess with kind of his mental health and how he saw himself. So, uh, I took it upon myself to start doing some research into what the symptoms are for a child with ADHD, and it was like looking into a mirror.

Um, a lot of the symptoms that I was finding. So for children, you know, not so much, but then out of curiosity, you start looking into, okay, so what does this mean for adults? And the next thing you know, you’re like, I do that. I do that. I do that. I do that. And, and, you know, you, you kind of follow down this list, um, realizing that a lot of the things on the list so, you know, I’m looking at this list of stuff that matches me really well. And I always, it’s kind of a joke, kind of not. I always talk about how people, adults with ADHD, um, tend to go through five different phases in their ADHD journey. And the first, which was also where I was when I was looking up the symptoms from my son, is this idea of, I probably don’t have it.

Like everybody does these things, right? And as I started reading more, I started saying. Okay. I reached phase two, which is maybe I do, but I’m not actually having problems with my life. I’m fine. I don’t, you know, I don’t have any real issues with this. Like, yeah, but I figured out how to work around it. And some of us never reach past that point.

We always, you know, we stayed there, but, uh, those of us who get the diagnosis tend to reach phase three, which was, uh, after my son got diagnosed. I started really thinking about. Whether or not I was doing myself a disservice by not getting diagnosed myself for a few reasons. For one, I wanted my son to have someone that he could identify with in the family.

And, you know, he has an aunt who has ADHD, but he spends all of his time at home, you know, with us. I’m the person he sees 24 7, so there’s that. Uh, and also the fact that I realized that some of these things that weren’t problems, very well. Might have actually been problems. And I just didn’t want to admit it.

So, uh, I went into that phase three, which was, okay, I’m going to get diagnosed. Let’s see what this is. And I did. And, uh, it was really simple. People tend to ask me, you know, how did you get diagnosed? And it’s not this easy for everyone. I want to make it clear that it’s a super anticlimactic answer. I just Googled like.

People who do evaluations and, uh, ADHD in my area, I was living in, uh, in Florida at the time and very easily found a place that did it, called them, said, Hey, do I have to have a doctor’s referral to come see you? And they’re like, no. Said, all right, cool. Uh, I would like to get reviewed for ADHD. And they’re like, all right, you can do it via telehealth on Friday.

And I did it on Friday. Yeah. The lady was like. You have ADHD. Do you want to look into medicine? I said, Yes, sure. She goes, Okay, let’s go ahead and set you up for an appointment with a psychiatrist on Friday of next week. And by the following Friday, I had a meeting with a psychiatrist. So I always feel really bad for because, you know, people will ask me and I feel like I should be giving this long like Lord of the Rings type story of like, you know, my journey to get diagnosed.

But it was so much easier than a lot of people assume. Um, so You know, I, I did that. And after I got diagnosed, um, you kind of go through, this is, this is all part of that phase three that I’m talking about, where you kind of go through just your whole life again and start making these connections that you didn’t have before and relearning about yourself and re understanding yourself.

And you’re just like. Oh my God, that’s why I would never remember to turn in my homework, even though I would do it the night before, you know, like suddenly all of that makes sense. And if people are going to respond to that with different ways, some people respond to it with anger at what could have been, they feel like there were things that were lost.

I kind of just responded to it with more of a, whoa, and here are all these things that I’m actually doing that I shouldn’t be able to do supposedly, how did I get here? How am I doing these things? I had written a book. I was running a business. I was homeschooling two kids and I’m like, and I want to make it clear.

I wasn’t doing these things perfectly, but I was doing them. And I was like, how am I doing them? And I realized that I was, I have the kind of mind that likes to look at things from a very methodical perspective. And who tries to look at the parts of things and why they work. See, this is where that ADHD overthinking actually comes in handy.

Um, and as I started to learn that, I was like, I, I feel like this is a skill set that a lot of us probably do have somewhere. We just need somebody to help guide us there. Um, and so that was where I came with up with the idea of, I want to help others like me. Um, that also in the fact that like, I, I don’t want to discount, uh, cause I know there’s this whole argument going on right now online about, you know, as social media making is that everybody thinks they have ADHD and we could go into that forever.

But the one thing that I will say about that is that I would not have felt emboldened enough to go get checked, to go get evaluated, were it not for the fact that there were people already talking about what it was like to have ADHD. And being able to connect with those people and identify with those people is a huge reason for why I felt comfortable enough getting, getting looked at.

And that’s what kind of also pushed me to become a coach was the concept of being able to give someone that feeling of connection of community because we need that. Um, and in fact, I’ve had a couple of clients who have not. Um, who came to me because they suspected, but weren’t diagnosed yet and got diagnosed while we were working together.

So yeah, all of that to say, um, that’s why I became a coach. I became a coach because I want to help people kind of on their own personal journeys and that’s where I’m at.

When I think, you know, we hear more and more now about how, how many girls and women go without being diagnosed. And I think it can present differently from person to person.

So especially, I mean, you’re, you’re a lot younger than I am, but you know, even, even you’re saying you, you came all the way through school and it was never a question apparently. Yeah.

Yep. So nobody ever, nobody ever suspected it. I didn’t even suspect it. Not until I was in my thirties. So it’s just, yeah, it was one of those things that, you know, it was still mistakenly seen as a problem.

It’s a boy’s disease. And so if you were a girl who wasn’t really causing much trouble, nobody really looked into it that strongly.

So my son is diagnosed, my daughter is not, um, the suspicion is there, um, the same as with me. We kind of haven’t gotten to the point where we’ve gone to pursue any type of testing or diagnosis.

But, um, but with my daughter, I can remember her being three years old and sitting down and working through a first-grade workbook cover to cover without, I mean, just that hyper-focus. Um, and same way, and I’m the same way too, I mean, it’s, I, um, chose to go into education instead of computer programming because it was too addictive to go into programming.

It’s I would never leave a computer lab if I went into that. So there, so there are, so like you’re saying, and for you, you have, you have some skill sets there that, that allowed you to. To move beyond what might have been a problem for the next person because of the way that your brain is working there, but that can become a strength in some ways to have if directed the right way

Absolutely, absolutely.

So, um, so back to my questions that I do have a path here, but I have the questions for a reason, so we can stay on the path or come back to it as we get there.

That’s why I didn’t say anything. I could have kept talking, but I was like, no, no, no, no, this is a guided journey and I am, I am merely on this journey. I’m guided. So, yeah.

It’s, it’s fun sometimes the way that, that some of my conversations do meander a little bit, but, but, but I do want to make sure that, that I get through it within our timeframe here.

Exactly.

Um, so, so having a, being a parent of a child with ADHD, what are some effective strategies that you’ve discovered that help with supporting or empowering children with ADHD? Now you’re a coach, so you’re bringing in both the parent side and the coach side, but thinking as a parent yourself, like what, what have you and your son come up with that are working for supports for him?

I’ve got to say that at the very base of it, my strongest tool has been empathy. Um, being able, and I, and I want to make it clear right now, I actually for a while was, I, I spoke to parents and that was mostly what I did. Not an ADHD, just spoke about parenting a lot. And so I feel. Very compelled to say that I am not saying that I am perfectly empathetic to my son at all times.

There are a lot of times where I will get mad at him for the exact same stuff that I do. Uh, so, please do not think that I’m saying I’m perfect. But, what I do is I try to respond to a lot of his difficulties with an understanding that I can only have because I have the same issues he does. I don’t even have the exact same issues and I try to keep that in mind.

He is ADHD and autistic. Um, and I am, I’m just ADHD, but I try to keep in mind, you know, that there are certain things that he and I can both understand. Uh, and so sometimes the best thing that I can do is start what I’m about to say with, I get it. I know what you, I know what you’re feeling right now.

You’re feeling X, Y, and Z. And especially because he has that difficulty self regulating his emotions, that sometimes calms him down, I think, probably the fastest. Because there is this feeling that part of that dysregulation is coming from, I don’t know how to name what I’m feeling right now. And so me being able to say, Okay, I know what you’re feeling, and it’s this.

And I’m saying that because I’ve been there too. We do sometimes tend to make progress much faster. Um, and then, you know, just kind of keeping in mind that ADHD years are very visual. So, you can’t really expect, you can’t really expect most kids, but especially ADHD kids. You cannot expect them to remember anything that is not directly in front of their face.

So, you know, if there’s something that I want my son to remember to do, it’s got to be visible. It has to be. Written in a notebook or written on a, on a whiteboard or hanging on the fridge. It has to be somewhere where I can point at it and say, this is that thing I told you if it’s not, it’s kind of like, if you’re listening to this and you’re the kind of person who’s like, if it ain’t on my calendar, I’m not going to remember that’s, that’s what ADHD kids are like, just like 10 times worse.

So imagine if you will, you know, that you’re a kid trying to be told that you’re going to do something. But you don’t have it anywhere in front of you to remind you. So, that is, is also huge. Making sure that things are visible, and that they are covered multiple times. If I know that we are going to be doing something Sunday, I, if I, and I know that he doesn’t like it especially, I start telling him Friday.

I’m like, hey, I just want to let you know, Sunday at such and such, we are doing this thing. Saturday. Hey, Sunday at such and such, we are doing this thing an hour before. Hey, remember that that thing is happening. It’s happening today at such and such a time because he needs that reminder, right? We have those issues with short term memory and kids especially do not like being as especially ADHD kids do not like being caught by surprise.

So And all of this comes back to, and all of this comes from what I mentioned, it all comes from empathy, from me remembering, alright, how would I feel if somebody was responding to me this way? How would I feel if out of nowhere, you know, I’m super hyper focused on this book or TV show or video game, and someone was to come up to me, And tell me, Hey, right now you have to go put down this thing you’re hyper focused on and go do this other thing that you don’t want to do.

Of course, the understanding at that point, right? Like anybody would be pissed. They’d be like, I don’t know. Like, I don’t want, I don’t want to do that. So, you know, keeping that kind of stuff in mind makes us so that you remember to do things like remind them 30 minutes before 15 minutes before 10 minutes before five minutes before.

And it, it also takes the frustration out of it because I could, I could tell you right now, I could feel it, that some parents are probably hearing this and being like, that sounds like a real pain in the, I don’t know if I’m allowed to swear, but pain, pain in the butt. And it’s like, yeah, I’m sure, yeah, you’re welcome.

I’m not sure if, uh, it, and then that’s, I’m sure it is. It probably does seem like a pain in the butt, but if you are thinking about it beforehand and you are understanding that it is a necessity. For this other person to ultimately do something that you want them to do, it’s suddenly not as much of a pain in the butt.

It’s like, okay, this is, this is something that’s necessary for me to get what I want at the end of it. Um, so yeah, all like, again, I always feel like I have to come back and be like, I know I rambled a lot, but the very base of this whole thing is your number one tool is going to be empathy. And if you are listening to this and you have a kid who has ADHD, but you don’t have ADHD.

That can be difficult. You may not be able to empathize, but you can sympathize and sympathizing. You know, part of that is reading up on it, learning what what comes with ADHD, learning about what ADHD kids can do and can’t do and what they don’t like and what they do like, and then trying to remember that and inject that into the things that you ask for.

And that way you’re it’s a lot easier for you to say, okay. Um, maybe I don’t quite understand why you’re doing this, like from a personal perspective, but I do know that I’ve read somewhere that you don’t like when people do this thing. So that’s why, and I sympathize, but here’s what we have to do instead.

Right.

I think, I think you can bring up a good point because it’s really important that we understand that our children aren’t just trying to avoid what we’re doing or ignore what we’re doing. They might have their moments when they want to do that too. But, don’t read into their behavior that it’s willful disobedience that’s happening.

Because it might be they’re latched on to something and we didn’t give them that, that prep time. So I, I, I give you, you kudos for. Starting two or three days ahead of time because, um, I was good if I would remember to start an hour ahead of time with it.

Yeah, no, I, I, it is, that is one of the things that is decidedly not ADHD about me, if I’m being honest, is that I, I don’t, I don’t do like last minute very well or impulsive very well.

That frustrates me. So if, if I’m going to be doing something at four o’clock on Monday and you tell me three o’clock, I’m going to be mad. So I try very hard to make sure that I don’t do that to anybody else around me for that exact same reason.

Yeah. Yeah. So nice. I appreciate the input there. Um, so we’ve talked about, so you found out that you had ADHD.

After you were married, after you had kids. So you’ve got several relationships going on within the family there. How does ADHD impact relationships?

Oh boy. Um, so, um, if we’re talking about romantic relationships, there are a lot of things, and I can say that probably the thing that messed with my relationship the most, one of the things that finally pushed me to get a diagnosis.

is a difficulty in keeping promises. Um, because sometimes you forget, and sometimes you have executive dysfunction messing with you to the point where you don’t want to do it, and so you rationalize it away until you have not kept that promise. Uh, for me, the big thing was that my husband really wanted help cleaning the house.

And I would say, sure, I’ll help out around the house more. But then the moment that I started thinking about doing it, I would say, I don’t really feel like it today. I’m tired. I’m exhausted. And I would take a nap instead. And the next thing I know it would be a month later and I will not have helped with anything and we would get into arguments about it.

And you know, it made things very difficult because at the time I did not know how to explain that. I really, I really did want to, you know, cause to him on the outside it looked like I didn’t. I really wanted to, but I just couldn’t bring myself to. Um, and that is a common problem. A lot of people on the outside, executive dysfunction looks to a lot of people like, you don’t care, you’re lazy, you don’t want to.

Um, where deep down inside you probably do, and you’re probably thinking a lot at the time about how I want to, I want to do this thing, I know I should do this thing, it’s weighing on me, but you cannot make yourself. Um, so that really messes with it. There’s also the impulsivity portion. Again, I don’t really deal with that that much, but you know, that can get very frustrating in relationships as well.

Uh, everything from just randomly spending money that you shouldn’t be spending to, you know, cheating. Um, those are things that can also occur when it comes to parenting children. Uh, ADHD comes with a lot of sensory things as well. And so a lot of sensory things, a lot of anxiety issues, depression, things like that.

And you can imagine that trying to parent is hard when you are struggling through those things as well. Um, you know. I have had days where I have gone through panic attacks and tried to parent. And the, the result is that, I mean, I, I’m going through the motions, but I, I’m not really that great of a conversationalist at that point.

Like, you know, kids are going to bed with no brush teeth and like, you know, wearing the clothes for the day. Cause I’m like, I can barely function, you know? Um, And, of course, there are ways to work around pretty much everything that I’ve mentioned, but it’s really hard when the person involved does not know that they have ADHD.

Uh, it, it makes it so that, you know, they’re kind of like, why am I alienating the people around me when that’s not what I want? And, uh, if you don’t know why it’s happening, it’s, it’s just really hard to fix. So. Yeah. Yeah.

The, um. So, you’ve mentioned a couple of the executive functioning skills, just kind of as you’ve been talking.

Um, but one that I know with our family we’ve noticed, um, and a lot of people I’ve talked to have run into this as well, um, the struggle with time management and organization. You mentioned that some with the cleaning of the house, um, organization would come into that one too. What are your tips or tools for improving time management and staying organized?

I actually just had a class on time management, um, recently, because that is probably the thing that we struggle with the most. And the, the problem is we’ve got about three different things playing a part when it comes to time management. We have, uh, time blindness. Which is very common, which is very common, right?

We have that executive dysfunction, and then we have usually a lack of good tools to help us with both things. Um, and it really kind of depends on what your biggest struggle is. Uh, I find that most people have one out of three that is their worst issue. Um, for time blindness, you’re going to want to really, really rely on Alarms and notifications as much as you can, and it’s a tricky balancing act, because if you have too many notifications, you’re going to just ignore them and send them away.

Right? Um, and if you have too few, you’re going to wind up missing, missing, uh, whatever it is that you’re trying to reach. So you really want to try to find a happy medium where it is annoying you. But it’s not stopping you from noticing it. But kind of, um, kind of like what I mentioned with kids, the best way to do it is to set it at certain intervals.

So not to give yourself like, you know, four or five of them, but to say, okay, uh, I’m going to have something that’s going to remind me that I need to leave the house in 30 minutes, something that’s going to remind me that I need to leave the house in 15, something that’s going to remind me in five, and then something that’s going to remind me, like, when I need to get my shoes on, right?

Right. Because basically what that’s doing is stopping you from being too involved in whatever it is that you’re doing. Um, another huge, huge, um, favorite of mine, and I hope I’m saying this correctly because I always get the two mixed up. I believe it’s haptic feedback is the term I’m looking for.

Yes.

Which is feedback on the outside of the body. That is also something that I’m a huge fan of. I know that everybody has access to like an Apple watch or whatever Samsung’s version is. I think it’s a Galaxy watch is what it’s called or something like that. But if you can get that, if you can have a way to have some sort of vibration on your arm, that’s going to kind of shake you out of it or something that’s going to make you feel when it’s time to pull out, that is going to be extremely helpful.

And you’re going to find that you’re, you’re not going to miss quite as many things. And it’s a huge help for Time Blindness. Um, For Executive Dysfunction, Executive Dysfunction is something more that you have to work with, rather than against. Um, some people really are just like, how do I force myself to do this thing?

And, I’m here to tell you that depending on the situation, sometimes you’re just not going to be able to force yourself. You’re just going to have to tell yourself, I will try again tomorrow. Um, Some things that help making sure that you are kind of already telling yourself in your head or setting that intention in your head that you are going to be spending energy on whatever that thing is.

If you can tell yourself the night before or the day of, today I have to X. Sometimes it’s a little bit easier because then your brain and your body already know I am going to be spending energy on this thing. It’s a lot worse when you don’t tell yourself this, going back to that warning, that warning system, right?

If you don’t warn yourself and you’re just suddenly like, I should vacuum the living room, your body’s going to be like, I didn’t put aside energy for that. I don’t feel like it. And then you’re just not going to do it. Um, so that helps. Keeping in mind, I am a huge, uh, proponent of the I C N U acronym, which stands for Interest, Challenge, Novelty or Newness, and Urgency.

Those are the four things that ADHD brains respond to. And if one of those four things is not part of it, or if all of those four things are not part of what you’re trying to do, your brain won’t do it. It doesn’t want to. So, you have to ask yourself, am I interested in this? Is this challenging for me? Is this new or boring, which one is it, is it urgent, and then you want to try to find a way to add at least one of those four things.

Generally, if you can do that, um, and, and there are all types of ways I could go into this forever, but if you can add something to what you’re trying to do, there’s a good chance that your brain is going to let you move towards it. Uh, and, and the last thing that I would suggest is trying to break it down into small pieces.

And a lot of people will roll their eyes at this and go, Oh, I try that all the time. And it’s okay. How small a piece? How small a piece? Because I’m talking teeny tiny, if you have to, like, if you’re writing a report. Okay. And you’re like, write report. And then you’re like, well, I broke it down to research.

First draft. Second draft. Edit or first draft, edit second draft. And then third draft. That’s too big. I mean, tiny. I mean, you break it down so that the very first draft, like when you say research, you’re like, research X, research Y, research Z, and then do one of those tasks. And if you’re like, I still can’t get started, then it’s not small enough.

Make it smaller. I don’t care if you come out of it saying, all right, all I did was, uh. Pick a font and my margins, you did something, then you did something. And the whole point is to make you feel like you did something. And then sometimes that’s enough to kick you in a high gear and you’re like, yeah, that’s not enough.

I really want to continue. And you’ll do two or three things. And sometimes you’ll find that you do that font thing and you’re like. I’m done, I’m finished, I have more tomorrow and that’s fine because you still touched whatever it was that you needed to do. And usually with ADHD brains, if all you did was pick a font and you’re done, it’s not urgent.

So you’re not, you don’t have to like get upset that you didn’t get it done today.

Those are the things that I would say would help with those issues when it comes to time management.

It’s a big hefty issue that we have, so it’s not exactly the shortest, but that’s what we have.

Right. Do I understand it correctly that urgency is, is a trigger that will allow you to succeed?

Or we’ll stumble.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Urgency is probably the most successful trigger, so to speak, for ADHD brains that I have come across. If you can make something seem urgent, it’s part of the reason why every single one of my clients does an amazing job at work, but life, life stuff that they want to get done, they don’t get it done because at work they have a boss hanging over them.

They have deadlines. They have people relying on them. So they have things that make it so that this thing that is sitting in their lap cannot sit in their lap forever. Whereas they go home, and is there really anybody standing over them to get them to fold the laundry? No. So the laundry just gets to sit there for a month and maybe move from the bed to the chair to the chair to the floor to the floor to the bed.

Right. And that’s it, right? So, yeah, urgency is… Urgency is, is probably the most helpful one. If you can inject it into what you do in a way that works, it pretty much works every time.

Well, my husband and I have joked our entire married life that I just need someone to come visit because then I could get this room cleaned up and it’s true, but if I could figure out a way to psych myself into thinking that someone was coming, then maybe I can keep things picked up a little bit better.

There you go. Exactly.

That adrenaline surge that comes with it isn’t that healthy either, though, to always live in that mindset.

Yeah. And you could also play with it actually. And, uh, even a reward systems can work sometimes towards urgency. If the reward is something that has a specific time. So if you’re like, yeah, you know, we’re all going to go to ice cream at six o’clock, but I got to have this done by then, or I can’t go.

You know, as long as the ice cream is actually something you really want, obviously, if you don’t really care about ice cream or you’re lactose intolerant, then that’s not a smart choice, but like, you know, or I’m going to go visit a friend, something like that, where other people are relying on you at a c