Vault Of Startling Monster Horror Tales Of Terror

Are you ready for more Bava? This time join El Jacone, Joe Anthrax and the Chriskeeper as they (along with a mugger) tackle “The Girl Who Knew Too Much”! This is a Mario Bava black and white classic that pays a loving homage to Alfred Hitchcock. It’s all here, murder, [...]

It’s Halloween again and the Vault crew have prepared a new batch of audio horrors! This time Joe Anthrax serves up an Edgar Allen Poe classic featuring an actor with a REAL BRITISH ACCENT! Class! Luke Jaconetti weaves another story into his emerging TAPESTRY OF TERROR that will CHILL YOUR [...]

Join El Jacone, The Hair Metal Hero, the Chris-Keeper and NEW Horror Vault regular Joe Anthrax as they begin their trip through the DiManzicorp motherland – ITALY! This time it’s master director MARIO BAVA’S seminal BLACK SUNDAY, starring Barbara Steele – and she really NAILS this role and creates her [...]

Now that the Summer’s almost over and you’ve had some time to let Prometheus digest in the molecular acid of your mind, let’s look back at the movies that paved the way. Join Luke Jaconetti, The Hair Metal Hero, Shawn Engel and Chris Honeywell as they share fond (mostly) memories [...]

Join Luke Jaconetti, The Hair Metal Hero and Chris Honeywell as they whip out their FAVORITE HORROR SOUNDTRACKS! It’s the BLOODY BEST of scary movie music! All your favorites are here: Williams, Goldsmith, Morricone, Herrmann, Goblin, Paul Williams and Fastway! and many, many more! Turn off the lights and CRANK [...]

The Hair Metal Hero, Luke Jaconetti and Chris Honeywell are BACK in the HORROR WHEELHOUSE for the final John Carpenter movie (for a while) – the classic HALLOWEEN! Join them as they examine the film that launched a thousand teenagers (to their graves) and scared the hell out of EVERYONE! [...]

The Hair Metal Hero, Luke Jaconetti and Chris Honeywell face SPACE-HIPPIES, PHILOSOPHICAL BOMBS and a BEACH BALL WITH FEET! Yes, it’s John Carpenter and Dan O’Bannon’s FIRST MOVIE – DARK STAR! It’s a buffed-up student film that still looks pretty spiffy for almost a zero budget! Ever wonder what country [...]

This time the Hair Metal Hero, Luke Jaconetti and Chris Honeywell welcome Scott Gardner to the fold to discus John Carpenter’s “STARMAN” ! Why do Robocop, Amadeus and a discontinued type of Purina dogfood show up? I swear, there are tangental connections to this neglected classic! Listen as our intrepid [...]

This month, The Hair Metal Hero, Luke Jaconetti and Chris Honeywell tackle 2001’s “Ghosts Of Mars” by John Carpenter! Low budget sleeper or out and out flop? Turns out this movie is not so bad – it’s got Pam Grier, that chick from Species, the bald guy who talks like [...]

The third time’s the charm! Yes, since it’s Halloween season, the Vault crew bring you an unprecedented THIRD EPISODE this month! This time your hosts have crafted THREE HOMEMADE HORROR STORIES presented for the first time here! BOW before “The Hair Metal Hero Versus The BITCHIN’ VIXEN From The Sunset [...]

MORE HALLOWEEN MADNESS! Yes, we’re BACK AGAIN with YET ANOTHER Halloween treat – Bud Abbott And Lou Costello Meet Frankenstein, a horror comedy classic! Chris, Luke and The Hair Metal Hero have been putting in overtime this month in honor of the holiday and THEY AREN’T DONE YET! EXPECT MORE [...]

Join THE CHRIS KEEPER, L JACONE and THE HAIR METAL HERO as they bemoan the current state of wimpy vampire movies (you know who we’re talking about) and present a REAL MAN’S VAMPIRE STORY – John Carpenter’s Vampires! These vampires don’t SPARKLE in sunlight, they burst into freakin’ flames and [...]

Join THE CHRIS KEEPER, L JACONE and THE HAIR METAL HERO as they have a go at John Carpenter’s critical and financial flop – his remake of Village Of The Damned! Is it really that terrible? How bad can it be if it has Mark Hamill and Christopher Reeve in [...]

Join THE CHRIS KEEPER, L JACONE and THE HAIR METAL HERO as they dissect John Carpenter’s prototype early film, ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13! It’s Rio Bravo meets Night Of The Living Dead in this cops under siege classic! Anyone got a smoke?

IT’S A DYSTOPIA DOUBLE FEATURE! Join The Chris-Keeper and L Jacone as they talk about Escape From New York and it’s sequel Escape From LA! It’s a feast of action, one-liners and character actors! Anyone got a smoke?

This month, Luke, The Hair-Metal Hero, and the Chris-Keeper hop aboard the Pork Chop Express and head over to Little China to “stir the pot”! This movie has a little bit of every flavor thrown into a big, old WOK OF FUN! Catchphrases? Did someone say “catchphrases”? This is the [...]

YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES – LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST, OR EAT THIS GARBAGE CAN! In this latest installment of our John Carpenter retrospective we take a look through a Hoffman Lens at THEY LIVE. Of course, this movie is a MASTERPIECE! Join L Jacone, The Hair Metal Hero, The Chris-Keeper [...]

In this latest installment of our John Carpenter retrospective we take a look at The Fog, Carpenter’s follow-up to Halloween. This is a fun one for Chris, since he has never seen it before. This film has it all – murderous lepers, stories around a campfire, Jamie Lee Curtis, Adrianne [...]

In this installment of VOSMHTOT The Chris-Keeper, Hair Metal Hero and L. Jacone take up the topic of everyone’s favorite pissed off Plymouth Fury – CHRISTINE! It’s a hellish collaboration between horror masters John Carpenter and Stephen King! It’s 50’s nostalgia in an 80’s movie set in the 70’s! So [...]

In this volume of VOSMHTOT The Chris-Keeper and L. Jacone crack open John Carpenter’s “In The Mouth Of Madness” where the horror master takes a few pages from his favorite anguished authors! This completes the circle of Carpenter’s APOCALYPSE TRILOGY, thus opening the dimensional gate for the OLD ONES. “Ph’nglui [...]

In a SPECIAL HALLOWEEN EPISODE your intrepid horror hosts read you THREE HALLOWEEN TALES OF TERROR! First off, Chris reads “The Open Window” by Saki, one of his favorite short stories of all time. Next up, we have a completely ORIGINAL OFFERING! “Spiders” written and read by Chris Tyler, our [...]

WELCOME, MONSTER MONGERS! Welcome to the SECOND GRUE-GORGED episode of The Vault Of Startling Monster Horror Tales Of Terror! This month, myself, the CHRIS-KEEPER am joined by Chris Tyler (the HAIR METAL HERO) and Luke Jaconetti (LJacone) as we continue our retrospective of MASTER FILMMAKER John Carpenter with a double [...]

WELCOME, FEAR FREAKS! Two True Freaks is proud to launch their new horror show, The Vault Of Startling Monster Horror Tales Of Terror! This month, myself, the CHRIS-KEEPER am joined by Chris Tyler (the HAIR METAL HERO) and Luke Jaconetti (LJacone) as we begin our retrospective of GRUE-MONGER John Carpenter [...]