Unraveling Adoption

This week's Unraveling Adoption podcast episode is unique because I am traveling to an adoption conference the week before this episode's release. So instead of editing a regular episode, I put together a short behind-the-scenes episode, highlighting all the things we offer to adoptive families and the larger community.

In this week's Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Kevin Burgart from the Nashville area. He's an adoptee, adoptive parent of two children with significant special needs, and recently he became the adoptive parent of his grandchild as well. Since Kevin has been on both sides of this equation, he has a unique perspective on adoption. His life has been more challenging than most in many ways. We will dig into the obstacles he's faced, and talk about what resources he's found to help him cope. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Kevin's information: Find Kevin on Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/kevin.burgart.1 Helpful resources mentioned in this episode: The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier: https://amzn.to/40bfXX0 Journey of the Adopted Self by Betty Jean Lifton: https://amzn.to/42RZLMj Adoptees On podcast with Haley Radke: https://www.adopteeson.com/ Other Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption's Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube Support UnravelingAdoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption www.UnravelingAdoption.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:22 Kevin's adoption story and childhood 2:53 How adoption affected Kevin's teen years with emotional and behavioral issues 3:38 The start of Kevin's search for his biological family, then blocked for 41 years 6:24 Adoptive parents were loving and helpful with search 8:04 New research about biological family in 1991, more falsehoods, adoptees beware! 9:21 Registration with databases, a few teasers 10:20 Finally received birth certificate after 48 years, but all his parents were gone by then 12:45 Pursuing other family members through DNA, expectation v. reality 17:35 Does Kevin feel "lucky" to escape being raised by his birth family? 19:05 Connections with Kevin's 15 bio siblings 21:52 Deciding to adopt older children with special needs 24:10 Disruptions and chaos with adopted siblings 27:20 Major struggles with adopted son because of so much trauma in his life 33:55 Adopting their son's infant child 37:30 How Kevin reckons with parenting these troubled children 39:00 Resources that have helped Kevin, and advice for adoptees in search

In this week's Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Cindy Olson McQuay, an adoptee from Pennsylvania who is the co-founder, with Erin Cosentino, of Hiraeth Healing Retreats for Adoptees, DCPs (Donor Conceived People), LDAs (Late Discovery Adoptees), and NPEs (Not Parent Expected). Cindy is a baby scoop era domestic infant adoptee, and she had a rather idyllic childhood with well-informed and open adoptive parents, which was somewhat unusual at the time. Besides her work for Hiraeth, she advocates for adoption law reform and educates the public about separation trauma. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Cindy's information: Hiraeth Hope & Healing Retreats: https://www.hiraethhopeandhealing.com/ Email: [email protected] Other things mentioned in this episode: The Chosen Baby book from Cindy's childhood: https://amzn.to/3FwgCdn The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler: https://amzn.to/3JNM35j InterCountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV) with Lynelle Long: https://intercountryadopteevoices.com/ Other Resources: APtitude: A Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption's Challenges - UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube Support UnravelingAdoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption www.UnravelingAdoption.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:25 Cindy's adoption story and childhood 6:40 Cindy's search for her birth family 10:35 Does a "good adoption" preclude adoption trauma? 15:44 What prompted Cindy to become an adoption activist and search angel? 16:58 Adoption v. Guardianship 18:46 The problems with intercountry adoption and surrogacy 21:49 What is Hiraeth Hope & Healing? 25:25 The overlaps between adoptees, LDAs, DCPs, and NPEs 27:03 What do people experience at Hiraeth retreats? 31:40 Scholarships ARE available! And help them find mansions to host these retreats 35:17 Advice for non-adoptees and adoptive parents

In this week's Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Greg Gentry, a domestic baby scoop era adoptee, born in California in 1969. He has been in reunion with maternal family members since 2006, and in 2021 also connected with his paternal side. Greg is a facilitator and interviewer for Fireside Adoptees, a private Facebook group founded in 2021, which is committed to additional outreach through its Fireside Adoptees public Facebook page and the Fireside Adoptees Constellation private Facebook group. Greg is also an administrator and facilitator within the Adoption Trauma Network and a leader for the New Hampshire chapter of Adoptees Connect. He enjoys connecting with others in the online adoptee community, and has found these interactions to be richly rewarding and supportive. =============== 📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar 💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Greg's information: Greg on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/greggentry22/ Greg on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100070242835691 Fireside Adoptees private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1411791922534076 Fireside Adoptees Constellation & Legislation private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/616673970200012 Adoption Trauma Network: https://www.facebook.com/groups/adoptiontrauma Adoptees Connect: https://adopteesconnect.com/ Other Resources: APtitude: A Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption's Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube Support UnravelingAdoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption www.UnravelingAdoption.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 2:26 Greg's adoption story and childhood 9:30 Greg's first blood relative he met - the importance of mirroring 11:50 The pros and cons of open adoption 13:50 Greg's reunion experiences 19:10 "Coming out of the fog" 25:45 How Fireside Adoptees helped Greg transition out of the fog 32:00 Adoption Trauma Network description 34:50 What makes Adoptees Connect so special? 43:20 Greg's advice to adoptive parents

In this week's Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Kelsay Elizabeth Myers, a professional writer, artist, and somatic movement educator living in Marin County, CA. She is passionate about personal and social transformation for trauma healing. She's a Korean transnational adoptee who has been on a healing journey the last several years, after spending the first 32 years of her life in self-destructive behavior patterns. Kelsay founded Dialogical Persona Healing Arts where she offers individual and group coaching programs and online courses that use expressive arts and transformational processes to help others discover new ways of understanding themselves, reclaim their creative flow and feel more settled in their whole system, so they, too can experience more power, excitement, and joy in life. She is currently a Ph.D student of Transformative Inquiry at California Institute of Integral Studies where she uses a variety of psychological approaches and arts-based research practices for trauma integration and wholeness. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Kelsay's information: Kelsay's website: DialogicalPersona.com Kelsay's podcast (co-host with Leela Davis): What I Didn't Tell My Therapist: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-i-didnt-tell-my-therapist-reboot/id1473447399 Other things mentioned in this episode: Tamalpa Institute: https://www.tamalpa.org/ The Body Keeps the Score: https://amzn.to/3yumsYZ Other Resources : APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption's Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/ =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption www.UnravelingAdoption.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 2:00 Kelsay's adoption story and childhood, including racist microaggressions and bullying 4:58 Kelsay's racial identity 7:20 Which was worse, racial trauma or adoption trauma? 10:40 How Kelsay's trauma manifested in abusive relationships 13:20 Intuitively realizing her sexual abuse in foster care through her "felt sense" 15:26 Conscious dancing to begin her healing journey 18:05 Kelsay's training in somatic movement healing modalities 22:45 How somatic movement has helped Kelsay deal with racism triggers 24:39 Somatic movement to help kids 27:37 Autoimmune conditions and somatic movement 30:57 Our culture's mind/body split 32:05 Kelsay's advice for transracial/intercountry adoptive parents

In this week's Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Simon Benn, an adoptee living near York, England and host of Thriving Adoptees podcast. I was recently on his show, so I wanted him to be on our show as well. Trading podcasts across the globe. Simon has been on a healing journey for the last 13 or so years, after a discovery about his adoption that rocked his world. He wants to help other adoptees move toward healing with his podcast and webinars. =============== 💌 Sign up for Unraveling Adoption's email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Simon's information: Simon's podcast Thriving Adoptees: https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/ Beth's episode on Thriving Adoptees: https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/personal-growth-with-adoptive-mom-beth-syverson Simon's recent Healing My Primal Wound webinar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnz7I7V_IOQ Other resource mentioned in this episode: Rupert Spira: https://rupertspira.com/ More Resources: APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption's Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption www.UnravelingAdoption.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:18 Simon's adoption story and childhood 4:14 What Simon's adoption file revealed about his birth mother 7:35 Revelations and epiphanies 10:05 What is the primal wound? What is wounded? Simon's new metaphor 18:55 There's no such thing as a second-hand insight 21:23 Simon's advice for adoptees coming "out of the fog" 25:05 Simon reading his poems "Beneath" and "After the Fog"

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Amanda Kari McHugh, an adoptee and an engagement journalist who is making her mark on the adoption community with her project Voices of Adoption which you can find on TikTok, Instagram, and Substack. In this project she elevates the voices of adoptees and birth mothers. Stay tuned for ways you might be able to participate in this project! Amanda is pursuing a double masters in journalism and engagement from grad school at the Craig Newmark Graduate School of Journalism at CUNY. She hopes to be a resource to help other adoptees and also to help other journalists find good adoption data. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Amanda's information: Voices of Adoption on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@voicesofadoption Voices of Adoption on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_voicesofadoption/ Voices of Adoption on Substack: https://voicesofadoption.substack.com/ Abortion/Adoption video collage that Amanda created: https://www.instagram.com/p/CdtUQEfj5dl/ Other resources mentioned in this episode: Academia.edu: https://www.academia.edu/ Boolean Search Terms: https://www.lifewire.com/boolean-search-terms-google-1616810 Desiree Stevens and Access Connecticut: https://www.facebook.com/AccessConnecticut/ Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption www.UnravelingAdoption.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:25 Amanda's adoption story and childhood 4:25 Kudos to Amanda's school counselor for knowing about adoption-competent therapists 5:50 Amanda's attachment style is complicated 7:09 How lack of family medical history impacts adoptees 10:00 Advocating for adoption reform and dealing with pushback 12:00 Blasting apart adoption myths, getting people angry at her 14:35 Pushback has improved Amanda's reporting 15:20 Where does Amanda find adoption data? Who keeps track of "goods transferred?" 18:50 Privacy laws - are they a farce? 20:00 The Yelp of adoption agency databases idea 20:44 Voices of Adoption on TikTok and Instagram 22:38 Objectivity is a myth but we can try to understand the other points of view 24:11 What exactly is engagement journalism? 25:00 "Domestic supply of infants" necessitated discussion about adoption and abortion 27:12 Amanda's TikTok video (audio only) 29:25 The aftermath of the viral video 32:37 How the Voices of Adoption on Substack will create community-sourced resources 35:50 Amanda's dream for collective members to get paid for their emotional labor 39:09 How to participate in Amanda's projects and join the Voices of Adoption community 41:04 The importance of moderators in social media 44:11 How we can share our stories safely and authentically to help people coming out of the fog

In this week's Unraveling Adoption Podcast, Beth talks with Paul Kimball, an adoptee from Northern California and author of the memoir We Are All Human Beings: An Adoptee Ponders. Music has always been a huge part of his life, and he currently works as a conductor, horn player, and school music teacher. He didn't realize it at first, but when he reunited with his birth mother, the passion for music made sense. In this episode, we talk about the power of music to transcend time and space and connect individuals deeply. =============== 💌 Sign up for Unraveling Adoption's email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Paul Kimball's information: Paul's memoir We Are All Human Beings: An Adoptee Ponders : https://amzn.to/3luMZBQ Paul's Adoptees On podcast episode with Haley Radke: https://www.adopteeson.com/listen/183 Also mentioned in this episode: Jacqueline Du Pre playing Elgar's Cello Concerto: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUgdbqt2ON0 Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption www.UnravelingAdoption.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:35 Paul's adoption story 4:10 Paul's magnetic attraction to all things Armenian 5:40 Paul's love for classical music, especially cello music 7:29 Finding Paul's birth family 9:52 Paul's adoptive family's support of his music aspirations 11:30 Paul's dream to perform with his birth mother 12:25 Spending time with Paul's mom and half-sister, then his secondary rejection 15:44 Honoring his mother with a memorial 17:45 How music has kept Paul connected to his mother, and keeps Beth connected to her adopted son 21:45 The importance of family preservationism and listening to adult adoptees 23:35 How Paul and Joey process their intense emotions

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: On Saturday, March 11, Unraveling Adoption is hosting a free webinar called Moving Beyond Adoption - An Immersive Experience with Kat Linquist so you all can experience this amazing work that Kat does. It's 10am-noon PST on Saturday, March 11, 2023. Tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/moving-beyond-adoption-an-immersive-experience-with-kat-linquist-tickets-532651855037 If you are curious about how Magnetic Mind can help you in your adoption journey - or with any blockage in your life - come on over on March 11 to check it out. The event is open to anyone 18 and older. You don't have to be an adoptee to attend. =============== In this week's Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Kat Linquist, an adoptee, an intuitive, and a practitioner of a transformation modality called Magnetic Mind. She has done her own release work around her adoption trauma using this process based on neuroscience. She will be sharing her adoption story and how she helps adoptees heal with this healing modality. At the end of this episode we will be telling you about a free workshop where Kat will be demonstrating this technique. So stick around to the end to hear all the details. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Kat's information: Kat's email: [email protected] Kat's website: https://beyondadoption.getlearnworlds.com Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption www.UnravelingAdoption.com =============== TIME STAMPS 2:02 Kat's adoption story - the big disconnect 8:00 What prompted Kat's search for her birth family? 11:00 Kat's first experience with Magnetic Mind - a major transformation and reunion 22:00 No human can escape without some sort of trauma. How can we rewrite our trauma narrative? 28:51 Magnetic Mind can take people back into their lineage to repair damage done 30:57 Does Kat consider herself healed from adoption trauma? 34:25 Focusing on what we want to create through Magnetic Mind 36:53 Beth shares her experience with Kat using Magnetic Mind on her 46:25 What modalities are wrapped into Magnetic Mind? 49:35 How Kat works with people who want to heal using Magnetic Mind, including a FREE webinar we're hosting on March 11 (Get FREE tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/moving-beyond-adoption-an-immersive-experience-with-kat-linquist-tickets-532651855037)

In this week's Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Paul "Jack" Fronczak, a military veteran, musician, published author, executive producer, and former actor, who now works for a non-profit organization devoted to changing lives. An avid bass guitarist and motorcyclist, Paul now lives in Las Vegas, and has a teenage daughter he calls "the greatest kid in the world." Eleven years ago, Paul took a test that disproved the story he'd been told about his identity—that he was "Baby Fronczak," the infant who'd been kidnapped from a Chicago hospital in an infamous 1964 crime. In an instant, he became a man without a name, birthday, or medical history—an "unidentified living person," in official terminology. Paul has spent the last ten years searching for answers—and looking for the real Paul Fronczak. Jack's story is about identity - or lack thereof. I bet most people struggle with questions of identity - Who am I? What makes me me? What traits of my ancestors are carried on with me? Adoptees, Donor-conceived people, and Not Parent Expected individuals struggle with identity quite a bit more. And Jack's identity is the biggest mystery I could think of. In this conversation with Jack, we talk about how his lack of identity has affected him, so we can learn how better to take care of our other-than-biological children in our community. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Paul "Jack" Fronczak's information: Jack's website: FronczakFiles.com Inside Edition's piece about Jack's life: https://www.insideedition.com/media/videos/man-searching-for-his-true-identity-discovers-hed-been-kidnapped-as-a-baby-57710 20/20 episode with Barbara Walters: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhrfT8cZLAM The CNN documentary The Lost Sons, available on Discovery+: https://www.discoveryplus.com/show/the-lost-sons-us Jack's first book The Foundling: The True Story of a Kidnapping, a Family Secret, and My Search for the Real Me: https://amzn.to/3DlS5GF Jack's second book True Identity: Cracking the Oldest Kidnapping Cold Case and Finding My Missing Twin: https://amzn.to/3HAFFNS Other resources mentioned in this episode: CeCe Moore: https://www.cecemoore.com/ Finding Your Roots: https://www.pbs.org/weta/finding-your-roots Untangling Our Roots Conference by National Association of Adoptees and Parents (NAAP) and Right to Know - March 30 - April 1, 2023 in Louisville, Kentucky: https://naapunited.org/conferences Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube Support UnravelingAdoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption www.UnravelingAdoption.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 2:39 Jack's continuously unraveling life - Cliff's Notes version of Jack's life 5:35 Did Jack find the "real Paul?" 7:30 Jack always played a part. No wonder he became an actor! Discovering the kidnapping story 11:35 Did Jack feel like an adoptee growing up? 13:25 The student nurse who helped Jack's mom after the kidnapping 14:34 Jack's infancy with his twin Jill 17:20 Jack's relationship to his [adoptive] parents, foster family, and first family. 2 out of 3 ain't bad?? 20:30 Jack's lifelong effects of early chaos and abandonment by his first family 23:50 What is it like being an "unidentified living person?" 26:49 What adoptive parents and allies can do to help adoptees and other "unidentified living person"s 32:20 Jack's ongoing mysteries make for an interesting life, and we're all discovering who we really are

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Ann Weaver Melendy from Oregon, a baby scoop era adoptee who was taught by her adoptive family to not speak about her adoption and to not ask questions. Well that backfired big time, because not only is she now sharing her story on this public podcast and elsewhere, but she is also an adoptee rights advocate. Ann is particularly bothered that adoptees' vital records often don't include the true data about their birthdate, birth parents, and more. She has fought for her own birth certificate to list the correct information - and she won! Her ingenious approach to adoptees' rights will inspire other adoptees to fight for their own corrected documents. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Ann's information: Ann's bipartisan bill SB573 going through the Oregon legislature in 2023, sponsored by Sen. Sara Gelser Blouin [D] and Sen. Brian Boquist [R] (The public is welcome to comment on the bill at this link): https://legiscan.com/OR/bill/SB573/2023?fbclid=IwAR2Z_8_LD_BgX2-8qx12haoASLXUzMNN7UC5E1OSR7ViX1CH8QAQwvCUrQ0 KATU news segment video with Ann and her dad after their reunion: https://katu.com/news/local/salem-woman-finds-father-through-dna-test Find Ann on Facebook as Ann Weaver Melendy. If writing a note to her on Facebook Messenger, make sure ADOPTION Is the first word. Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption www.UnravelingAdoption.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:30 Ann's childhood and basic adoption story 2:46 When's her birthday? A complicated question! 5:55 Why her birth certificate lists the wrong birth date 9:07 Meeting her birth father 14:14 Synchronicities of genetics 15:25 Original Birth Certificate (OBC) and other types of birth certificates 19:24 Birth certificate as receipt 22:56 How the LGBTQ+ community benefited Ann and other adoptees in Oregon with the tri-party adoption bill 29:13 How Ann's new bill differs from the tri-party adoption law 31:14 Why is it so important for adoptees to have the correct information on their birth certificate? 33:00 Is Ann available to help other adoptees navigate vital records?

In this week's Unraveling Adoption podcast (formerly Safe Home Podcast), Beth talks with Alex Baquero, a 31yo from Philadelphia who was adopted at 6 months old from Colombia. His adoptive parents are white, and he started reuniting with his birth family 12 years ago. He shares his adoption story and his complicated reunion story, plus he lets us know what tools have helped him along the way. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption's email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Alex's information: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindmentorllc/ Voices of the Adopted podcast episodes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1518016505 === Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption www.UnravelingAdoption.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:33 Alex's adoption story as a child 5:15 Both extremes are invalidating to adoptees 6:46 Growing up Colombian in a white family and white suburbia 8:02 Alex's initial search for his birth family 10:30 How adoptive parents often get in the way of adoptees' healing and reunion 16:10 Reuniting with his Scandinavian sisters 19:24 How Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has helped Alex 21:30 How Alex got connected with his birth mother in Colombia 24:22 The complexities of traveling in Colombia 25:35 How Covid added to the complexity of reunion with his mother 28:25 Meeting Alex's father's side of the family, unexpectedly 31:10 How Alex managed his emotions and thinking during his time in Colombia 33:35 Aftermath back at home 37:55 Telling his adoptive parents about his reunion 39:03 Going forward…what are Alex's future plans?

We are just switching our name from Safe Home Podcast to Unraveling Adoption, and this is the first full episode under our new name. In this week's episode, Beth Syverson chats with Leslie Pate Mackinnon, a licensed clinical social worker and an adoption activist for the past 30 years. Leslie is a seasoned and well-respected therapist in the adoption community. She is a nationally known trainer who travels across the country training therapists, agencies and child welfare workers about the psychological issues inherent in adoption and third-party reproduction. Following four decades of successful practice in Atlanta, Leslie and her husband relocated to Asheville, NC. Leslie comes to this work by way of being a birthmother in the 1960s, the Baby Scoop Era. She understands adoption trauma deeply, both as a lived experience and as a therapist for all members in the adoption constellation - adoptees, birthparents, and adoptive parents. On Safe Home Podcast, we've had 8 episodes so far with adoptees, and 1 episode with another adoptive parent, but this is our first episode from the birth mom's perspective, which is a super-critical piece of this puzzle. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Leslie's information: Website: https://lesliepatemackinnon.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063478541379 Email: [email protected] Other resource mentioned in this episode: Paul Sunderland's speech about adoption & addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3pX4C-mtiI Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption www.UnravelingAdoption.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 2:00 All voices in adoption matter, and adoptees' voices come first 3:16 Positive adoption language and listening to adult adoptees 6:35 Birth parents' stories are often suppressed 8:16 Leslie's birth parent experience #1 16:08 Adoptees and birth parents both get stuck in culture's judgements about adoption 17:03 Coping with trauma with substances, the intersection between adoption and addiction 25:30 Adoptive parents talking openly with their children about their adoption 28:35 Leslie's birth parent experience #2 33:25 Birth parents' difficulties, then and now 39:00 The importance of family preservation, and Follow the Money 44:10 How Leslie & Beth are dealing with their past regrets

In this very special episode, Beth Syverson, host of Safe Home Podcast, explains her pivot to Unraveling Adoption. This is the last episode of Safe Home, and the first episode of Unraveling Adoption. She explains what the new title means, what the future plans are, and she provides ways for everyone to help get the new podcast launched. =============== 💌 Sign up for our email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Beth's information: Email Beth at [email protected] Become a Patreon supporter at Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption APtitude Support Group Membership Form (FREE): https://forms.gle/vD8mfJy3fJUDmCJe6 More info about APtitude: A Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption's Challenges: SafeHomeFamilies.com/APtitude Other resources mentioned in this episode: Relapse episodes: Episode 6: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/3Lt2RSxK1vb Episode 12: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/AHNFiRxK1vb Episode 13: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/3Fsl3QxK1vb Spencer LaJoye's episode: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/episodes/Non-Binary-Musician-Spencer-LaJoye---Ep-37-e1guoa5 Brenda Bash-Cooper's episode: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/episodes/Adoption-Story-with-Brenda-Bash-Cooper---Ep-21-e1c2v4r Cough Medicine episode: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/sMAeRLrM3vb =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com Unraveling Adoption is created by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Amanda Mullins Email questions or comments to [email protected] =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:22 Thanks to all those who've helped make Safe Home Podcast happen, and some stats 9:17 Why are we making the pivot to Unraveling Adoption? 10:50 What does Unraveling Adoption mean? 13:05 What are our plans for the future? 16:26 Ways you can help --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Lainie Liberti and her 23yo son Miro Siegel. Lainie Liberti is a best selling author, international speaker, teen mentor, worldschooler, partnership parenting paradigm advocate and mother. In 2012 Lainie co-founded Project World School with her son and has lived in community with over a 100 teens in over 20 international locations. Lainie founded Transformative Mentoring for Teens in 2020 in response to the growing need to support teen's mental health. Lainie just released her first book, Seen, Heard & Understood, Parenting and Partnering with Teens for Greater Mental Health, the number 1 best seller on Amazon in the Parenting New Releases. Her book is right in line with what we've been advocating here at Safe Home - that parents do their own work and partner with their kids instead of being an authoritarian figure over them. Beth talks with Lainie and Miro about unschooling and worldschooling because they lead a fascinating alternative life. But over the top of everything is the partnership that they've nurtured which allows them to both live as their fully authentic selves. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Lainie's & Miro's information: Lainie's LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/ilainie Transformative Mentoring for Teens - Mentoring & Courses designed to transform teen's lives (and yours): https://transformativementoringforteens.com/ The Partnership Parent Movement - Children need connection, not coercion. Together, we will change the world, one family at a time: https://partnershipparent.com/ Project World School - Inspiring Temporary Lear ning Communities for Teens & Young Adults: https://ProjectWorldSchool.com Project World School Family Summit - Biannual community gatherings for worldschooling families interested in travel, education and wellness: https://worldschoolfamilysummit.com We Are Worldschoolers - Gain access to exclusive supportive community, articles, interviews, worldschooling mini-courses, and resource lists: https://weareworldschoolers.org/ Lainie's & Miro's TEDx talk - Making The World Our Classroom: https://youtu.be/bH-kQJ10WWo Lainie's book Seen, Heard & Understood: Parenting & Partnering with Teens for Greater Mental Health: https://www.amazon.com/Seen-Heard-Understood-Parenting-Partnering-ebook/dp/B0B1XKB1WN Other resources mentioned in this episode: The Hub - Miro's current employer - TheHub.community =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao www.SafeHomeFamilies.com --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Carolyn Balagot, an advocate for neurodiverse people. In her family, she, her husband, and her 3 kids are all neurodiverse in one way or another - primarily with ADHD or Autism Spectrum Disorder. She has worked at her children's school as a 504 case carrier, advocating for students' needs. Her kids all went to school at Orange County School of the Arts, where I used to teach and which I highly respect and admire. Especially in an arts school, all kinds of diversity are celebrated, including neurodiversity. Carolyn will talk to us about her family's challenges and triumphs, and help us know how to better advocate for our neurodivergent loved ones or community members. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Carolyn's information: Facebook group Cypress Neurodiversity Friends: https://www.facebook.com/groups/711278036622893/ Carolyn's Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/carolyn.balagot Carolyn's Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/redmama73/ Other resources mentioned in this episode: Orange County School of the ARTS (OCSA): https://www.ocsarts.net/ Penguin meme showing autism spectrum diversity: https://www.facebook.com/theicannetwork/photos/a.278436099008274/1965490896969444 Understood website - information about 504s and IEPs: Understood.org Neurodivergent Rebel, Lyric Holmans' website: https://neurodivergentrebel.com/ Neurodivergent Rebel's Safehome Podcast episode: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/fo36eVKbPvb Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (ASN): https://autisticadvocacy.org/ =============== Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:52 Carolyn's family's background and diagnoses 8:20 High-functioning and low-functioning are outdated. What vocabulary is correct nowadays? 9:50 Autistic people? Or people with autism? 12:35 504 v IEP accommodations 13:55 Is anxiety a neurodivergence? Is a student with anxiety eligible for accommodations? 15:48 Cum. files and labeling in school 18:33 What is ableism? What are some examples of ableist policies in school and work? 21:20 Did Carolyn's child's diagnosis make things better or worse? 22:30 Carolyn and her husband are waiting to get their own diagnosis of autism confirmed 25:40 How job interviews are challenging for autistic people and how to make them better 27:30 The powerful concept of universal design 28:43 Carolyn's advice for parents who think their child might be neurodiverse 30:10 Why to steer clear of ABA - listen to adult autistic people 35:15 Why Autism Speaks is problematic 37:40 Carolyn's advocacy for the LGBTQ community too --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Amanda Lipp, a documentary filmmaker and social entrepreneur working at the intersection of mental health, storytelling, and technology. Amanda has produced over 80 short documentaries about mental health and social impact - covering topics such as youth psychosis, schizophrenia, art therapy, cyberbullying prevention, and housing relief from wildfires. A passionate mental health advocate, she has given over 150 speeches around the U.S. since age 18 sharing her journey navigating the mental health system. Amanda is passionate about mental health leadership, policy change, and tying films to mental health research studies. She serves on the Mental Health Advisory Panel at Google, and the Interdepartmental Serious Mental Illness Committee (ISMICC) created by Congress to advise on federal mental health policy. Amanda formerly served on the board of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), the largest grassroots mental health nonprofit in the U.S. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== RESOURCES: Amanda's information: Website: https://amandalipp.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amandalipp01 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amandalipp/ Other resources mentioned in this episode: National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): https://nami.org/ The Truman Show (film): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120382/ The Truman Show Delusion (disorder): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Truman_Show_delusion 988 Lifeline: https://988lifeline.org Pride & Joy Foundation: https://www.prideandjoyfoundation.com/ Elena Joy Thurston's Safe Home Podcast episode about Pride & Joy Foundation: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/klzqKKg6Evb =============== TIME STAMPS: 2:09 Amanda's lived experience with mental illness 6:05 Sports injuries and Amanda's depression 9:50 Using drugs like an emotional credit card 11:05 Amanda's support system and challenges of parenting a "problem child" 12:55 Amanda's major mental breakdown as a college freshman - The Truman Show Delusion 15:08 Psychiatrist ICU and outpatient services from induced psychosis 17:50 Amanda's daily regimen to maintain her mental health 22:40 Behind the scenes in mental health organizations 24:00 Amanda's reprise of The Truman Show Delusion and how her parents handled it 26:37 The danger of cops responding to mental health crises, and the hope of the new 988 lifeline 28:50 The importance of compassion and curiosity in responding to psychiatric emergencies 31:50 Advice for how to be supportive to your loved one struggling with mental illness 33:46 How Amanda's sexual identity intersected with her mental health 35:50 Seek out access points for professional help before a crisis occurs 36:43 Befriending all parts of ourselves with grace, and lean on community --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Doris Blumenthal, an adopted person who lives in Northern California. Her adoption story is one of the adoptee narratives in the documentary Reckoning with the Primal Wound, which you've probably heard me talking about before. The filmmaker Rebecca Autumn Sansom was on this podcast in Episode 30. If you haven't seen Reckoning with the Primal Wound yet, I highly recommend it, and I also want to let you know that this episode contains spoilers. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Resources mentioned in this episode: Reckoning with the Primal Wound documentary: https://reckoningwiththeprimalwound.com/ ALMA - The Adoptees' Liberty Movement Association: https://thealmasociety.org/ The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier: https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Wound-Understanding-Adopted-Child/dp/0963648004 Safe Home Bookclub - free discussion questions for The Primal Wound: https://bookclubs.com/safe-home-book-club/join/ APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption's Challenges: SafeHomeFamilies.com/APtitude =============== Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 2:00 Doris' adoption story, crossing paths with birth mother in the early days 6:40 The overwhelming need to know one's biological roots 9:16 Doris' adoptive parents' attitude about adoption 11:54 The mysterious photograph and the broken relationship with Doris' bio brother 13:35 Complex emotions with Doris' paternal sisters 14:36 Starting the pre-internet search process 18:50 First attempt at finding birth mother 20:15 How DNA searches help 21:11 A common problem for adopted people: lack of health history 21:56 Minnesota sisters and other maternal relatives 22:54 How Arizona's open records laws enabled Doris to find her birth mother 25:05 Finding Doris' birth mother's home - and SPOILER ALERT if you haven't seen the Reckoning film yet 28:00 Doris' brother's attitude toward Doris, privacy v. right to know 31:35 Another amazing coincidence 33:40 More details about the reunion day 38:45 Did she find the mysterious photograph or any other mementos? 40:35 How Doris handles her complicated grief 43:45 Most adopted people have a deep desire to meet their natural parents 45:05 Doris' dream of ideal records for adopted people 47:33 Backlash from sharing her story in the Reckoning with the Primal Wound documentary 51:34 Doris' advice for adopted people who are contemplating reunion, and book recommendation 53:30 Doris' book recommendation - The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier 56:37 Doris' advice for adoptive parents regarding reunion --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Bonnie Harris, a New Hampshire-area director of Connective Parenting, where she is a parent educator, counselor, coach, and speaker. She wrote two parenting books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You'll Love to Live With. AND she has her own podcast Tell Me About Your Kids where anyone can listen in on her parent coaching sessions. Bonnie has a master's degree in Early Childhood Education And is the proud mother of two adult children raised with her connective approach. In today's episode, Bonnie will help us answer the question: HOW CAN WE BE MORE CONNECTED WITH the KIDS in our lives? =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Bonnie's information: Bonnie's email: [email protected] Bonnie's Website: https://bonnieharris.com/ Bonnie's Book: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It: https://bonnieharris.com/product/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons-2/ Bonnie's Book: Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You'll Love to Live With: https://bonnieharris.com/product/confident-parents-remarkable-kids-2/ Bonnie's podcast, Tell Me About Your Kids: https://bonnieharris.com/podcast/ Other resources mentioned in this episode: The Orchid and the Dandelion: Why Some Children Struggle and How All Can Thrive by W. Thomas Boyce, M. D.: https://www.amazon.com/Orchid-Dandelion-Children-Struggle-Thrive/dp/1101946563 Hilltop Preschool: https://www.hilltoppreschool.com/ =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:26 How Bonnie parented her own (now grown) children 6:08 How Bonnie developed her connective parenting model by learning about herself 9:25 The Dandelion Child and the Orchid Child 13:00 Bonnie's own terms: The Harmony Child and The Integrity Child 13:50 Characteristics of The Harmony Child - compliant but harbors shame 16:40 How Connective Parenting focuses on the parents, not the child 22:56 Connecting with your child's emotional state instead of their behavior 28:17 Connective parenting as an investment for your child's self-confidence 31:04 Characteristics of The Integrity Child - demanding but knows what they want 36:07 How to turn the parenting ship around 40:26 How did Bonnie's orchid daughter turn out? 44:10 "My child is having a problem, not being a problem." --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with a family friend of hers from church - Katherine Osborne. Katherine shared with the church that she was recently diagnosed with OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I thought it might be good for our audience to learn from an eloquent teen how OCD feels. Nowadays people joke that they have OCD when they're bothered when something doesn't quite line up, or if one tile is a different color. You see memes about OCD all the time. But that's a very simplistic view of OCD that doesn't honor the lived experience of people who struggle with this disorder every day of their lives. In this episode, Katherine explains her own lived experience of OCD, and she mentions things she's learned so far. But of course neither of us are OCD experts or healthcare professionals. We recommend getting professional help if you or someone you know might be struggling with OCD or any mental health issues. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== Resources about OCD that Katherine recommends: OCD & Anxiety YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/c/ocdandanxiety What is Pure OCD? (School of Life Channel) https://youtu.be/Q9yKaI0vLJs Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS 1:12 Katherine's hobbies & college activities 2:25 When did Katherine's OCD symptoms start? (Thank you, COVID. ☹️) 3:46 How Katherine experiences OCD in cycles - obsessions and compulsions 6:30 What are intrusive thoughts? 8:54 How does Katherine manage her OCD? 10:22 How Katherine was diagnosed with OCD. Did her diagnosis make things better or worse? 14:00 How OCD has affected Katherine's social life 15:45 How do Katherine's family and friends support her when she's having a bad OCD day? 18:11 Is OCD more common for adults and teens? Is it growing? 19:40 Katherine's advice to parents of teens? 24:13 Can someone pull an OCD sufferer out of an OCD cycle? 27:20 First steps if you're curious if you might have OCD --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Catherine Becker, founder of the support group called Joys and Challenges of Relative Caregivers. She's a grandma who is raising her three young grandkids while her daughter struggles with addiction. When she tried to find a tribe of other relatives in her same situation, she didn't find a group that went deep enough or that was small enough to create personal connections. So she made her own group. Her organization is raising money to provide financial assistance to grandparents and other relatives who are caring for or who have adopted their family members' children. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Catherine's information: Joys and Challenges of Relative Caregivers: https://www.facebook.com/groups/861031841262074 Catherine's email: [email protected] Catherine's phone number: 706-944-3454 Other resources mentioned in this episode: Safe Home's episode about fentanyl: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/EMdGewW4Sub Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS 1:26 Catherine's daughter Katie's journey with addiction and incarceration 6:07 How Catherine plans to keep her young children away from drugs 8:50 How Catherine gained custody of her children 13:03 The boundaries Catherine has drawn with her daughter while incarcerated 16:45 How Catherine manages her emotions and gets support 19:11 How Catherine avoids feeling resentful toward her daughter 22:13 What kind of support do relative caregivers need? 24:26 Struggles Catherine has with her other adult children 26:40 Katie's relationship with her kids 29:25 Family preservation, open adoption, and relinquishment trauma 33:23 How common is relative caregiving? 36:44 How can allies help relative caregivers? 41:08 Catherine's advice for parents with teens 43:33 Katie's mental health challenges 46:03 Catherine's advice for relative caregivers --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

**TRIGGER WARNING** This episode will be talking directly about suicide, so this might not be for everyone to listen to right now. But we at Safe Home believe this is a very important topic so we hope you'll listen when it's safe for you to do so. In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Frank King, a comedian who wrote for The Tonight Show for over 20 years and who performs standup worldwide. Along the way, he focused his creative attention on the topic of mental health, and specifically suicidality. Now known as the Mental Health Comedian, he talks openly about his own suicidality and, using humor as a tool to open up the conversation, he informs people about suicide prevention, destigmatizes mental illness, and helps people feel seen and heard. He has a few wonderful TED Talks: including A Matter of Laugh or Death, Mental with Benefits, and Born To Be Funny. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Frank's information: Frank's website: https://www.thementalhealthcomedian.com/ Frank's Tedx Talk "A Matter of Laugh or Death": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBUXND5BD4M&t=967s Other resources mentioned in this episode: Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 988 - or text HELP to 741741 -https://988lifeline.org/ The Message of You: Turn Your Life Story into a Money-Making Speaking Career by Judy Carter: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250007100 National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) - free resources: https://www.nami.org/ =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:30 Frank explains creating a career from comedy about suicide 7:48 Vulnerability is Frank's superpower 9:58 Dentists, veterinarians, and construction workers have the highest incidence of suicide deaths 11:17 Frank's mental illnesses - Major Depressive Disorder and Chronic Suicidality 15:35 Mental with Benefits - what if mental illness is a desirable disadvantage? 17:30 Frank's self-care plan - 5 daily requirements to maintain his mental health 20:40 Suicide prevention tips 22:20 Does talking about suicide make it more likely someone would attempt suicide? 23:48 We're not saying "commit suicide" anymore - what do we call it now? 25:08 The new 988 suicide prevention lifeline 28:02 **TRIGGER WARNING** Frank's intergenerational depression and suicide stories 32:09 Sugar addiction as a long-term death sentence 33:15 Ambivalence about suicide means most people can be saved from suicide; what are the warning signs? 36:33 Lock up your medications, parents!! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Rev. Veronica Silva, a New Thought minister and a nurse who has struggled with alcoholism since she was young, but who has been in recovery for 26 years. Veronica has been on a spiritual journey since June 24th, 1996, when she got sober from alcohol and drugs. She has had a passion for spirituality as a result of attending AA meetings and finding a God of her understanding. She is SO passionate about God that she recently became a Minister in 2020 - right in the middle of the pandemic. She is a true believer in going right into the discomfort of life to free ourselves from our suffering. She is a registered nurse and works at a cardiac procedures unit and loves helping others during their times of fear and anxiety. Here at Safe Home, one of our biggest priorities is to destigmatize addiction and mental health, so by hearing stories from people like Veronica, we are able to humanize addiction, find commonalities, and discover the way others have found their healing path. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Veronica's information: Email: [email protected] r Other resources mentioned in this episode: Namasté Center for Spiritual Living: https://namastecsl.org/ Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:40 Veronica's childhood and early introduction to alcohol 3:16 Spinning all the plates during high school, self-medicating for anxiety 4:38 Unconscious intergenerational rage and machismo 7:30 How spirituality helped Veronica 9:50 Being a young mom in recovery and later supporting her son in recovery 13:22 Tools that helped Veronica with the initial stages of recovery 16:30 Stay-at-home drunk 17:33 Going back to school to become a nurse 19:12 Another new career as a minister 20:20 Veronica's advice for family or friends of addicted people, setting boundaries with love 22:19 High-functioning alcoholics 24:25 Alcohol's prevalence in our culture 25:34 Meditation as a recovery tool 27:25 Learning how to set boundaries, resentment as a boundary indicator 29:05 Each personal growth journey looks different for everyone, just take a step any direction --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Emmalinda MacLean, co-founder of More Than Sex-Ed, a Los Angeles-based non-profit whose mission is to nourish healthy development through honest conversation about sex. She is the Director of Curriculum & Instruction at More Than Sex-Ed plus she wrote a children's book around the topic of consent called "Everybody, Every Body!" In case you couldn't guess, this episode will talk openly about sexual topics, so this episode might not be safe for work. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Emmalinda's information: More Than Sex-Ed website: www.morethansex-ed.org Emmalinda's children's book Everybody, Every Body! https://www.morethansex-ed.org/bookstore Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/morethansex_ed/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/morethansxed/ Other resources mentioned in this episode: Unitarian Universalist Our Whole Lives programs: https://www.uua.org/re/owl Consent PDF: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1gQriYaFDc05goL_A0qMOYqugby3kxSzv/view?usp=sharing Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:42 How Emmalinda landed a career in sex ed 4:24 Gender diversity is NOT a new thing 7:21 Parental backlash? 8:22 Beth's sex ed experience at church 10:33 Teaching consent 12:00 Questions about "gay sex" 14:00 What is sex? 15:52 Can parents rely on school or church to teach about sex? 17:53 Don't Freak Out! 19:33 Acknowledging pleasure reduces victimization 20:25 At what age can kids start learning about sex? 22:30 The topic of menstruation and Turning Red 25:23 How does gaming and social media affect our kids? 27:30 What's the deal about furries? 30:18 Anonymous question box and porn 33:31 What about sexting? 35:19 What should parents do regarding phones? 36:03 How the fall of Roe will affect our teens 39:19 Emmalinda's best piece of advice for parent 42:10 LGBTQ+ identities 44:00 What services does More Than Sex-Ed provide? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

Safe Home is on vacation this week, so we're replaying one of our favorite episodes. When we started Safe Home Podcast in August 2021, this episode was the most important one we did. Our family wants everyone to know the dangers of having cough medicine and other OTC drugs unlocked and available to teens. Joey almost died twice from overdosing on Coricidin. Take a listen to one of our early episodes that you might have missed, and enjoy a new episode next week! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Lori Holden, an adoptive mom of 2 teens, author of the book The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole, written with her daughter's birth mom and featured on required reading lists with adoption agencies across the country. She's also a blogger at LavenderLuz.com, and host of the podcast Adoption: The Long View. Lori is an influential voice in the adoption world, advocating for openness in all kinds of adoption relationships. She often keynotes at adoption conferences and speaks to new and prospective adoptive families, helping them realize the benefits to EVERYONE of maintaining transparency in the adoption process. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Lori's information: Lori's Website: LavenderLuz.com Adoption: The Long View podcast: https://www.adopting.com/adoption-podcasts/adoption-the-long-view The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption book: https://www.amazon.com/Open-Hearted-Way-Open-Adoption-Helping-dp-1442217391/dp/1442217391/ Three Sides to Every Adoption: https://threesidesadoption.com/ Instagram: @LavLuz Twitter: @LavLuz Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LavenderLuzWriter Other resources mentioned in this episode: Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency book: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Core-Issues-Adoption-Permanency-ebook/dp/B07PCWBZG1 Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com TIME STAMPS: 1:50 Parents doing their own work 3:39 How Lori learned adoption wasn't all unicorns and butterflies 5:05 Getting curious about adoption 6:40 A new child can't cure infertility grief 9:35 Lori's family's adoption story 13:45 The importance of the biological bond 16:52 "You are mom" 19:38 Both-And 20:58 Adoptive parents that are closed off completely 22:37 What should adoptive parents say when their child misses their birthparent? 27:10 Open adoption's trajectory 30:35 What if… 34:18 Listening to birth parents more 35:55 Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency 36:26 Constellation v Triad 38:35 Adoptive parents as the "bad guys" 41:38 Is Lori anti-adoption? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Nicole Miller, a certified drug and alcohol counselor and coach from Oregon who teaches addiction pharmacology at Portland Community College. Even though she's very knowledgeable about all kinds of drugs, I brought her onto Safe Home Podcast to help us focus on fentanyl. It's such a dangerous drug, and deaths from fentanyl poisoning have skyrocketed in just the last 2 or 3 years. Our family really wants to raise awareness about fentanyl, so Nicole will help us all understand the risks and what we can all do to prevent deaths caused by fentanyl. This episode is dedicated to the memory of Helanna Johnson, our life coach Heather Ross's daughter who died in December 2021 from fentanyl poisoning. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Nicole's information: Email: [email protected] Other resources about fentanyl: CDC: https://www.cdc.gov/opioids/basics/fentanyl.html National Harm Reduction Coalition: https://harmreduction.org/issues/fentanyl/ Fentanyl test strips from Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/BTNX-Inc-Fentanyl-Liquid-Substances/dp/B09WWWDN21 Narcan (available without a prescription at US pharmacies): https://www.narcan.com/ =============== Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 2:08 Nicole's personal journey with addiction and recovery 3:14 Safe Home lifts up harm reduction 4:40 What is fentanyl? 8:33 What forms does fentanyl come in? How does it get mixed in with other drugs? 9:55 Having Naloxone/Narcan available to save lives, but never use substances alone 10:45 Fentanyl test strips 13:20 How fentanyl makes people feel 14:30 The dangers of fentanyl with experimental use of substances 16:30 Beth's challenges getting Narcan from the pharmacy 19:41 Encouraging our loved ones to carry Narcan with them 20:24 Meeting addicted people where they're at; facing reality and encouraging harm reduction 23:51 How can Narcan - the Lazarus drug - works 27:12 Opiates, pain, and tolerance 28:50 How Medical Assisted Treatment (MAT) affects the rates of recovery 33:48 When to use Narcan, signs of an opiate overdose 36:35 Fentanyl could be in ANYTHING off the streets 38:02 How does Nicole stay grounded working in the addiction field 39:15 What Nicole's recovery coaching looks like 40:50 All overdoses are accidental --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Colin Parrott, a 16-year-old from Huntington Beach who has been struggling with depression. He has gotten help with his mental illness from his awesome mom Debbi and from modern medicine. But perhaps the best tool he's found has been poetry. He's written a whole book of poetry about his depression called Shards. The process of writing poetry has not only helped him make sense of his mental health, but his poems help others understand what he and others with depression go through. Near the end of the episode, Colin will be sharing a poem or two from his new book, so stick around until the end! Joey and Beth both also struggle with depression, which you can hear about in Episode 11. It is something that our family is very open about, because you know what - depression kills! We're very glad that Colin was willing to come on Safe Home Podcast to share his story. We believe that the more people talk about things like depression and other mental health issues, the more we'll be able to help each other, and the more lives we'll save - quite literally. =============== RESOURCES: Colin's information: Colin's poetry book Shards: https://www.amazon.com/Shards-Colin-James-Parrott/dp/B0B1C1PMMD LA Times article about Shards: https://www.latimes.com/socal/daily-pilot/news/story/2022-06-04/shards-uses-poetry-to-tell-huntington-beach-teenage-poets-battle-with-depression Colin's website: http://colinjparrott.com/ Colin's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/colinjparrott Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:36 Colin's poetry-writing and other writing experience before his depression 3:32 How Colin's depression and self-harm started and what it looked like 6:26 What Colin's parents did to cause Colin to feel safe to tell them when he was self-harming 8:14 How meds worked for Colin's depression 10:36 Colin's poetry-writing in NYC 14:48 Colin's advice for kids who are struggling with depression symptoms 17:30 Colin's advice for parents of struggling kids 19:52 Colin reads his poem "Sunrise Relapse" --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Darcy Mittelstaedt, an adult adoptee originally from Korea, and adopted into a dysfunctional family in Nebraska at age 2. Once she came out of the fog, as they say in adoption-land, and came to terms with her relinquishment trauma and chaotic adoptive family life, she turned toward her adoption agency. She now helps inform the adoption agency's families about relinquishment trauma and the struggles that interculturally adopted people have. Hers is a story of resilience and hope that I'm sure everyone, whether or not you are affected by adoption personally, will appreciate hearing. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Darcy's information: Darcy's email: [email protected] Darcy's Facebook: www.facebook.com/DarcyMittelstaedt Darcy's Instagram: www.instagram.com/dmittelstaedt/ Darcy's Twitter: @djmittelstaedt Other resources mentioned in this episode: Dylan International - https://www.dillonadopt.com/ Our new Adoptive Parents support group, APtitude: safehomefamilies.com/APtitude Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:50 Darcy's difficult childhood story 5:00 Darcy's parent's controlling style 7:49 Food control 10:33 The impact of Darcy's parents' divorce 12:14 The end of the road for Darcy 15:45 The family that rescued Darcy 18:05 Darcy's compliant temperament and the role of the church 24:58 Darcy's job at Boys Town 27:01 How Darcy collaborates with her adoption agency 32:15 Growing up as an Asian in a Nebraska farmtown 39:58 The importance of mirroring for adoptees 44:58 Hope for anyone who grew up in a dysfunctional family --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

This week's episode is very special because #1 Joey is with us for this one. And #2: It's going to be a 3-way conversation with me, Joey, and our life coach Heather Ross. If you've listened to any of our episodes, you've probably heard me mention her, or you might have heard one of her 2 episodes we've already published - #10 and #34. In this Safe Home episode, we will be talking about how the CRAFT method has helped our family, and you'll hear from both sides - the parents' side and the teen's side. CRAFT is an acronym that stands for Community Reinforcement and Family Training. This is the approach that is scientifically proven to get more people into recovery than the old-fashioned approaches like tough love and interventions. The basis of CRAFT is the positive rewards that the loved one heaps on the addicted person when they are doing favorable behaviors. A key concept in CRAFT is that the relationship is more important than their sobriety. This method shifted our family so much that I credit it to keeping our son alive for these past few years. I'm very excited to share some details of the CRAFT approach with you. =============== RESOURCES: Heather's information: Website: HeatherRossCoaching.com Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/living-with-your-childs-addiction/id1543141299 Other resources mentioned in this episode: Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change: https://motivationandchange.com/family-services/resources-for-families/ The CRAFT Approach: https://drugfree.org/article/craft-approach-encouraging-healthy-constructive-positive-changes-family/ Never Use Alone: https://neverusealone.com/ or 800-484-3731 How to get free Narcan: https://www.goodrx.com/naloxone/narcan-naloxone-at-home-free Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson www.SafeHomeFamilies.com TIME STAMPS: 3:30 Overview of Joey's struggles 6:40 Joey's new job has helped stabilize him 7:40 Alternative healing we've found to be helpful 11:32 How Heather and CRAFT helped save our family 16:24 Putting our kids under the microscope 19:29 Addiction causes hiding and masking 21:20 Changing the conversation with our addicted loved one 23:28 What Joey and Helanna received from substances 27:04 The goal is CONNECTION, not sobriety 33:25 Why some parents have trouble with the CRAFT Method 36:30 Sliding through life pre-crisis, asleep at the wheel 39:08 What our kids want from us 41:16 Enabling, Narcan, "rock bottom," and stigma --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

Movies & Conversations with Alex Kaplan from Of Substance Saturday, September 10, 2022, 10am PST OfSubstance.Eventbrite.com =============== In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Renee Knapp, a vice principal at a high school - or she would call it a deputy principal at a district high school where she lives in SW of Western Australia. But on top of that, she's an independent consultant at Think Effective Consultancy, where she works with schools, communities, and passionate individuals to improve mental health and wellbeing outcomes through a proven process and framework for change. She is the Chair and co-founder of a Community Based Mental Health Action Team and she's an Ambassador for the Australian & New Zealand Mental Health Association. RESOURCES: Renee's information: Think Effective Consultancy website: https://thinkeffective.com.au/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/www.thinkeffective.com.au Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thinkeffectiveconsultancy/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCn8qrZZ0hmktyC7Ot0QIXuw Other resources mentioned in this episode: Mind Matters (Australia): https://www.positiveschools.com.au/2012%20Mind%20Matters.html GoZen videos for kids: https://gozen.com/ Reach Out for teens and young adults: https://au.reachout.com/ New 988 mental health crisis line: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/988 www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS 1:50 The Big Picture work that Renee is doing to help kids' mental health 2:20 Renee's background and interest in mental health 7:30 Behaviors are not the problem 11:05 Common mental health problems in high school 15:00 Advocating for a CULTURE of well-being at school and Beth's horrible experience with Joey's high school's culture 20:23 Examples of Renee's framework in action 27:10 Finding passionate individuals who can hop on board 29:50 Framework instead of programs 32:40 Suicide as leading cause of death 37:35 Creating a plan for well-being in the school and community 39:13 Belonging and connection is the cure --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

Movies & Conversations with Alex Kaplan from Of Substance Saturday, September 10, 2022, 10am PST OfSubstance.Eventbrite.com =============== In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Dayna Del Val and Mazz Marry, a married couple from North Dakota who are bringing alcoholism out into the light with their podcast, Daily Dose of Dr Marry & DD. They are here on Safe Home Podcast to talk about how addiction affects everyone, not just the person struggling with addiction. They, like our family, believe that the opposite of addiction is connection, and they are aiming to destigmatize addiction so we can all heal. =============== MOVIES & CONVERSATIONS about addiction and shame event With Alex Kaplan from Of Substance Saturday, September 10, 10-11:30am PST $15 (Half off for Patreon members, Open House attendees come free) Get your ticket here: https://ofsubstance.eventbrite.com =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Dayna & Mazz's information: Daily Dose of Dr. Marry and DD: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF3myrebU1m8PhVe1HutQ2w Website: https://daynadelval.com/category/dr-marry-and-me/ Other resource mentioned in this episode: IGNTD Recovery: https://www.igntd.com/ Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:16 Why Dayna & Mazz decided to share their story on their podcast 4:03 How Dayna & Mazz met and their early years together 6:27 Early signs of alcohol derailing Mazz and their marriage, "married to a newborn" 10:11 Dayna's reaction to the negative aspects of alcohol on their marriage 12:06 How Mazz's body made him rethink his relationship to alcohol 15:15 The overwhelming worry about cost of treatment 20:46 What Mazz's rehab was like 23:45 The benefits of having a late-onset addiction 25:20 Dayna's quirky addiction 26:54 The culture around alcohol 31:46 What was underneath Mazz's alcohol misuse? 32:34 Redefining marriage after Mazz's recovery and getting support for the spouse of the addicted person 41:28 Getting rid of shame --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

Movies & Conversations with Alex Kaplan from Of Substance Saturday, September 10, 2022, 10am PST OfSubstance.Eventbrite.com =============== In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Sue Bowles, an Ohio-based master certified life coach, memoirist, and public speaker focusing on the topics of disordered eating, anxiety, depression, and sexual assault survival and recovery. Her company is called My Step Ahead, whose motto is "you only have to be a step ahead to help the person behind you." That is certainly how we operate at Safe Home, too. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Sue's information: Website: https://www.suebowles.com/ Sue's memoir This Much I Know…The Space Between: https://www.amazon.com/This-Much-Know-Space-Between/dp/1695541839/ Other resources mentioned in this episode: NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association): https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:22 Sue's childhood 4:45 Sue's sexual assault at 7yo, "Don't tell anyone!" 7:33 Ways Sue acted out in high school 9:08 How Sue's eating disorder began, atypical anorexia 13:01 Physical and mental effects of her disordered eating 17:16 Sue's opinion about BMI 19:29 What prompted Sue to get help for her disordered eating? 21:25 Sue's advice to parents of a teen with disordered eating 28:55 Where do people go to get help for eating disorders? 29:55 Sue's role as a life coach 35:00 Eating disorders resources 38:11 A sliver of hope can be cultivated --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

OfSubstance.EventBrite.com - 9/10 In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Pam Lanhart. She's the Director of the Minnesota based non-profit organization "Thrive Family Recovery Resources" that she started in 2016 to help families with addicted loved ones. She's a certified recovery coach, peer specialist, speaker, author, and advocate for those dealing with substance use disorder - and their families.. She has a book and a FB page called "Praying Our Loved One Home" that our Christian audience members will especially love. She recently lost her young adult son Jake to the disease of addiction, but like our dear friend Heather Ross, she is forging ahead, more determined than ever to help families so they can help their struggling teens and young adults who are battling with addiction. Pam subscribes, as I do, to the CRAFT approach of treating our addicted loved ones with unconditional love and positive regard, no matter where they are in their sobriety. RESOURCES: Pam's information: Thrive Family Recovery Resources: https://thrivefamilyrecoveryresources.org/ Praying Our Loved One Home Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/prayingourlovedonehome Praying Our Loved One Home Blog: https://pamlanhart.com/praying-our-loved-one-home Praying Our Loved One Home Book: https://www.amazon.com/Praying-Our-Loved-One-Home/dp/B07NWZZS16 Pam's coaching website: https://pamlanhart.com/ Wild Hearts Adventures: https://www.wildheartsadventures.org/ Thrive! Family Addiction Support informed by CRAFT and Invitation to Change Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ThriveFamilySupport Other resources mentioned in this episode: The First Day film: https://thefirstdayfilm.com/ Raising Human Beings: Creating a Collaborative Partnership with Your Child by Ross W. Greene, PhD: https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Human-Beings-Collaborative-Partnership/dp/1476723761 The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict by The Arbinger Institute: https://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Peace-Resolving-Heart-Conflict/dp/0369343972/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1660195659&sr=1-1 Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brené Brown: https://www.amazon.com/Braving-Wilderness-Quest-Belonging-Courage/dp/0812985818/ref=monarch_sidesheet Motivational Interviewing: https://motivationalinterviewing.org/understanding-motivational-interviewing What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey: https://www.amazon.com/What-Happened-You-Conversations-Resilience/dp/B08PW4Q284 --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Tiffany Gay, a Philadelphia entrepreneur, mindset coach, and public speaker. Several years ago she experienced severe depression and anxiety, but through prayer, a shift in her mindset, and identifying her "Why" she was able to survive through her mental health breakdown. She regained everything back that she lost, including her mind, and now she helps others shift their mindset and find the root cause of their struggles. Her mission is to serve, support, coach, and mentor individuals with shifting their self-defeating, unfulfilling, unproductive, and unhealthy patterns of thinking. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Tiffany's information: BInspired Apparel - https://binspiredapparel.net/ Email Tiffany for her Shift Your Mindset and Dream Big coaching program: [email protected] Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:13 Tiffany's childhood, one of 8 kids 2:44 How Tiffany's father's PTSD affected her family 5:20 Unfamiliar simultaneous lack - in full survival mode 8:48 How Tiffany managed her economic struggles 12:05 Tiffany lost hope for 2 years 14:15 TIffany's turning point 16:00 The 5 steps Tiffany took - Identify her WHY, shift her mindset, reactive her faith, incorporate prayer, identify a support system 17:18 Why Tiffany found her healing path outside the healthcare system 18:25 How Tiffany got back on track 20:00 Tiffany is the CEO of her own life 24:11 How has Tiffany's experience affected her parenting of her 12yo daughter 27:27 Breaking generational patterns --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

Movies & Conversations with Alex Kaplan from Of Substance Saturday, September 10, 10am PST OfSubstance.Eventbrite.com =============== In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Yvette Harpootian, a certified life coach from Rhode Island who is passionate about helping women get out of overwhelm, get more done, and release anxiety and self-sacrifice in order to feel better. I thought her message would be welcome here on Safe Home Podcast since many in our audience are parents of adolescents. I know when Joey was in crisis mode, I almost completely lost myself for a while there, before I got connected with Heather Ross, OUR life coach, who BTW went to the same coaching school as Yvette. In this episode, you will receive practical tools from Yvette that you can put into practice right away. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Yvette's information: SPECIAL FREEBIE FOR SAFE HOME LISTENERS: https://yvetteharpootian.com/5things Email Yvette for a FREE discovery call: [email protected] Instagram: ykhcoaching Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:18 Why Yvette focuses on moms in her life coaching business 2:08 Key areas that moms can focus on to improve their relationship with their kids 4:52 Women's invisible workload 6:58 Keeping up with the "perfect" class mom + toxic comparing 8:02 "I don't have time for self-care!" 12:30 What does self-care encompass? 15:28 How does Yvette convince moms to engage in self-care? 18:40 Avoiding getting "hangry" (hungry + angry) and prioritizing sleep 20:30 Scheduling self-care in the calendar 21:31 What does life coaching look like? 22:41 The Model that Yvette uses in her coaching - how to control your thoughts 32:18 What's the difference between coaching and therapy? 34:06 "My son got better when I got better" and "Nurturing and Love are the keys to healing" --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

OfSubstance.Eventbrite.com In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Leela Davis. She is a neurodivergent who combines her lived experience self-healing her Bipolar 1 and CPTSD symptoms and managing ADHD symptoms with training in the healing modalities that she found the most powerful in her own healing journey. She is certified: as a Holistic Health Coach, in Somatic Attachment Therapy, as a Yoga of Sound and Vinyasa Instructor, in Astrology and Human Design, and has spent decades as a multi-passionate creative finding healing in the process of art-making-performing. Her mission is to mentor and support folks with emotional and mental health challenges or diagnoses and live a meaningful and beautiful life beyond the limitations ascribed to certain diagnoses. Her vision is a world where all medical and healing practitioners will learn to heal by addressing the roots of symptoms rather than covering up the symptoms. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Leela's information: Website: LeelaDavis.com Instagram: @mypeaceofsanity Podcast with Jude Gorini: What I Didn't Tell My Therapist - on all major podcast platforms Podcast instagram: @whatIdidnttellmytherapist Other resources mentioned in this episode: An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness by Kay Redfield Jamison: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00W8JX3KK/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 Beth's episode on What I Didn't Tell My Therapist: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/season-2-episode-14-healing-addictions-as-a/id1473447399?i=1000568510708 Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon =============== TIME STAMPS: 2:34 What is the difference between Bipolar I, Bipolar II, and depression? 5:35 Leela's diagnosis at age 37 7:44 Childhood trauma and genetic predisposition to mental illness 10:41 Did Leela's Bipolar diagnosis help or make things worse? 12:40 Leela's Bipolar medication hijacked her body and mind 21:21 How Leela found healing without meds 24:55 Meditation and yoga are key tools, incl. Yoga of sound 28:55 How Leela evaluates medication and substances now 31:15 What does Creative Wellness coaching look like? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Jude Gorini, a Brazilian who lives in Northern Italy. He identifies as gender queer, and works as an author, podcaster, intuitive coach, and creative artist. He has struggled with Bipolar, addiction, and gender identity issues and shares his life story openly in order to help others. I met Jude recently when I recorded on the podcast that he co-hosts with Leela Davis, What I Didn't Tell My Therapist. He really resonated with our family's story, which intersects in many ways with his own. You will love his warmth and honesty, not to mention his sexy accent. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Jude's information: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXlb6019hbqQKN6meuXNbgA Insight Timer meditations: https://insighttimer.com/healingwith_jude Poetry book Sorry, I'm Mad: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B083P655RJ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_9Z5RNKYK2YKQPVMSSNBV Poetry book Words/Wars: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B083V6RFY7/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_M3GAKKAVQQC6R6Z72FNV Email: Jude@HealingwithJude What I Didn't Tell My Therapist Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-i-didnt-tell-my-therapist-reboot/id1473447399 Other resources mentioned in this episode: Beth's episode on What I Didn't Tell My Therapist Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/season-2-episode-14-healing-addictions-as-a/id1473447399?i=1000568510708 Pride & Joy Foundation: https://www.prideandjoyfoundation.com/ =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:26 Around the world with Jude - Brazil, Italy, UK, Italy 2:39 What's wrong with Italy? 5:50 Jude's LGBTQ+ status and coming out story 11:33 Jude's career path 13:19 How and when did addiction come into Jude's life? 18:56 What was the catalyst for his addiction recovery? 22:35 Start of holistic healing and coaching to help others 24:54 How Jude has managed his Bipolar I 26:20 Bipolar and addiction 28:55 What is Jude's favorite tool for balancing his life? 30:20 Jude reads his poem "Today" 32:25 Nature as a tool for healing 33:54 Jude's advice for parents of LGBTQ+ teens --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Lorah Gerald, an adoptee, an intuitive, a Kundalini Yoga Instructor, and writer. Lorah hopes to help others heal their trauma, adopted or not, by sharing her lived experiences as an adoptee as well as her education in breath work, energy healing and natural intuitive abilities. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Lorah's information: Lorah's Website & yoga class schedule: http://lorahgerald.com/ Other resources mentioned in this episode: Emma Stevens' Safe Home Podcast episode about EMDR: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/episodes/EMDR-for-Healing-Trauma-with-Emma-Stevens---Ep-38-e1h76f7 Adoptees Connect: https://adopteesconnect.com/ Reckoning with The Primal Wound documentary: https://reckoningwiththeprimalwound.com/ Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:33 Holding feelings about adoption trauma inside v. healing in community 2:49 Lorah's adoption story as a Baby Scoop Era domestic adoptee 4:40 A better life or just a different life? 6:40 What Beth was told about adoption trauma when she adopted Joey 8:32 What Lorah's adoptive parents knew about adoption trauma 9:20 How Lorah acted out as a teen and how she avoided addiction 10:38 Lorah's reunion story 15:34 Lorah's mother's forced hysterectomy 16:46 Lorah's reaction to her adoption story as told by her parents 20:28 Lorah's reunion story, continued 26:40 Lorah's healing path - yoga, reiki, reading, etc. 28:35 Kundalini yoga & processing trauma through our bodies 34:55 Other physical trauma-healing tools that Lorah uses 39:03 Adoptee-only yoga sessions 41:43 How yoga has helped Lorah with trauma and well-being --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Rev. Bobbi Becker, the Senior Minister and Spiritual Director at Namasté Center for Spiritual Living in Long Beach, California. In this episode, Bobbi tells her story of being a gay New Thought minister who grew up in the Mormon church and whose whole family was touched by addiction and mental health issues. You will be inspired by her commitment to her own spiritual growth which included the acceptance of her sexual orientation. She is not afraid to speak out and take action within social structures about women's rights and LGBTQ+ rights. You will find out what saved her from the addiction route that many of her family members took. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Bobbi's information: Bobbi's email: [email protected] Bobbi's church's website: https://namastecsl.org/ Resource mentioned in the episode: Nacho Kids - support group for step parents: https://nachokids.com/ Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:18 Bobbi's unique childhood 2:44 Being raised in the Mormon church 5:00 Bobbi's excommunication 10:36 Coming out as gay and getting involved in diversity training 13:46 Bobbi's mother's mental health trifecta and family secrets 20:01 How Bobbi escaped her family's dysfunction 22:36 Where Bobbi found support as a young adult 25:30 What are you giving power to? 26:25 Bobbi lost 2 brothers to addiction and mental illness 30:18 How Bobbi's 2 surviving siblings are doing 33:54 How Bobbi avoided addiction to substances 37:25 Bobbi's transition from corporate executive to minister 39:05 How Bobbi's life has affected her parenting 44:59 Dealing with family trauma 47:06 The best thing parents of struggling teens can do --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with one of Joey's friends, 19yo Cheyanne Alsop. Like Joey, Cheyanne was adopted, her adoptive parents later got divorced, and she struggled with mental health issues throughout her adolescence. Cheyanne's harrowing childhood would leave most people completely paralyzed emotionally. But because of her willingness to get help and to work on her own emotional toolbox, Cheyanne has graduated high school, she's got a job, and she's on her healing path. Her story gives us all hope for our struggling kids, and she and Joey give some great advice to teens and parents at the end of the episode. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Cheyanne's contact info: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheyanne_autumn1618 Other Episodes mentioned during this episode: Our CHS episode - #22 Our episode about psych hospitals: #16 Brenda's Adoption Story episode: #21 Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 0:30 A little update with Joey 3:17 Cheyanne's infancy and first relinquishment at age 3 4:42 Cheyanne's childhood trauma with her grandparents 11:15 Moving to her aunt's in foster care system 13:45 Getting matched with Cheyanne's adoptive parents 16:55 Cheyanne and Joey talk about adoption trauma 22:20 Adoptive parents' divorce created more pain and caused first hospitalization 25:00 Cutting and self-harm, Cheyanne's rock bottom 27:58 Cheyanne and Joey's advice to teens considering going to residential treatment programs 29:25 DBT - Dialectial Behavior Therapy, working hard in treatment 34:37 Things that have helped Cheyanne survive 36:38 How Cheyanne's steered clear of the addiction route 41:23 Cheyanne's plans for the future 44:13 Cheyanne's advice for adoptive & foster parents 46:25 Cheyanne's advice for teens 47:30 What Joey admires about Cheyanne --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Jeanette Matthew. She lives in North Yorkshire in the UK, and she is a coaching psychologist who helps individuals and organizations transform their uncertainty, overwhelm, and lack of clarity into goals, action plans, and confidence. Her specialty is helping people deal with anxiety. Jeanette has delivered workshops around the world offering psychological hacks to managing and preventing anxiety, and teaching people the mindset tools we can adopt preventatively to see every day triggers through a different lens. In this episode, Jeanette gives plenty of practical tools to help our teens - and ourselves - manage anxiety. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Jeanette's information: https://www.jeanettematthew.com/ Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon Website: SafeHomeFamililes.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:37 Jeanette's career background 8:00 Coaching v therapy 13:40 What is causing anxiety for our teens? 17:31 Learning to release outcomes 18:35 Sense of permanency of one's life choices 25:30 Jeanette's favorite tool for anxiety - a simple question to ground you in the present moment 34:45 Mindfulness tools 44:25 Choices over one's own behavior gives us autonomy 49:02 Getting active and getting outside for anxiety relief --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Tracy Struckman, an Indiana-based recovery coach who has 8 years of recovery from a destructive heroin addiction. She now helps others who are struggling with addiction to find long-term recovery. She is just completing her licensure to become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and she does online consulting and workshops for people who struggle with addiction as well as their families. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Tracy's information: Website: https://www.tracystruckman.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tracystruckman Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tracy_struckman/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBYggEaAtEaoDdxLu0NzCiw LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/Tracystruckman Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:35 Tracy's childhood and adolescence and background of her heroin addiction 3:35 The addiction process - alcohol→marijuana→then heroin 5:41 Fentanyl's dangers and access to Narcan to prevent overdose deaths 10:19 Addiction as a symptom of an underlying problem 13:32 Tracy's rock bottom 14:57 A chance of rehabilitation in the criminal justice system? 16:23 What happened to cause Tracy to become sober 19:00 Tracy's parenting and Tracy's parents 25:10 What Tracy wishes would have happened differently when she was a teen 27:30 What is a Recovery Coach? 31:23 How parents can shift their focus off their kids and onto themselves 33:27 How is Recovery Coaching structured logistically? 36:22 Parents, don't blame yourself! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Tamara Gabbard. She lives in the jungles of Costa Rica with her toddler Rubi-Jean. Tamara is a Copywriter and Content Marketing Strategist, and she also identifies as a Soul Consultant and Clairvoyant. She combines her skills in both the practical and spiritual realms to help people who are struggling to break through the overwhelm that life can bring when trying to make an impact on the world. Like our son Joey, Tamara has done extensive personal research with psychedelics and other substances. She's 5 years sober now, but she uses some of the things she learned through her psychedelic trips to inform her work, especially finding the root causes of whatever obstacle people get stuck on. Tamara's story is pretty extraordinary. Even if you can't relate to her exact experience, I know you will be inspired by her talk to dig a little deeper to help yourself and your struggling teen. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Tamara's information: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.soul.consoultant LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/the.soul.consoultant Other things mentioned in the episode: David E. Nichols, psychedelics researcher at Purdue: https://www.mcmp.purdue.edu/faculty/nicholsd Michael Pollan's book How to Change Your Mind: https://michaelpollan.com/books/how-to-change-your-mind/ Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon Website: http://SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:37 Tamara's chaotic childhood 5:08 Teenage experimenting (and then deep dive) with substances 7:33 Tamara's clairvoyance 13:50 Psychedelics and trauma 20:08 Holding space for people 21:55 How Beth has been holding space for Joey and Tamara's advice for parents 28:41 Teens using psychedelics (including vaping DMT) 34:07 Safer use of psychedelics 36:40 The planetary shift 39:15 Tamara's role as a Soul Consoultant to overcome trauma and blocks --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with her long-time piano student, 19-year-old Taylor Cox. Taylor graduated from high school in 2021, and has had a year of pivoting, personal growth, and some common teenage challenges since then. She talks openly about her struggles in the hopes that her story will help other families with struggling teens at this tricky post-high school juncture. Listen through to the end and you'll be rewarded with an original song performed by Taylor. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Taylor's audition video: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Hgemd1kxJrENO1qEXVLuvvKHwsamXiG8/view?usp=drivesdk A public TV commercial featuring Taylor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUz6zaxEwmQ&t=165s Taylor's music video "Love Is Home:" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFthHWNhtiU Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com =============== TIME STAMPS 2:05 Taylor's musical experience 4:18 Taylor's other interested besides music 6:52 Taylor's experience as a blind person 12:05 How to help blind people feel accepted and included 13:06 Taylor's performing arts high school successes 16:51 Pivoting college plans 19:44 Independent living school 22:36 Bonehead teenage choices 23:40 Introduction of depression and anxiety 26:10 Therapy for everyone! 28:43 Tools Taylor learned through therapy 30:57 Taylor's future plans 32:56 Taylor's advice for parents of high school grads 38:33 Taylor's performance of her song "Best of Me" --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Joey joins Beth to talk with Jason Wilson about the science and side effects of cannabis. Jason is a botanist, educator, author, and podcaster whose primary interest right now is cannabis. He studies the chemistry and microbiology of cannabis, and has unique expertise in quality management systems and regulatory compliance in the burgeoning cannabis growing industry. He published a science textbook "Curious About Cannabis" and has a podcast with the same name. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Jason's information: Curious About Cannabis podcast: https://cacpodcast.com/ Curious About Cannabis textbook: https://cacpodcast.com/book/ Curious About Cannabis workshops and courses: https://cacpodcast.com/curious-about-cannabis-learning-center/ Email: [email protected] Anonymous testing of substances: https://www.drugsdata.org/ CHS Genetic Testing: https://shop.endodna.com/products/chs-dna-susceptibility-test =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson; Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao; Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson; Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected]; Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube; Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome =============== TIME STAMPS: 0:57 Jason Wilson's intro and expertise 2:51 How today's cannabis compares to the cannabis parents used back in the day 6:09 Jason's concerns about modern synthetic products like Delta 8 THC 9:50 Different types of testing - qualitative and quantitative 14:32 How can consumers know if their product is good quality 17:28 How clean are dispensary products? 18:50 The dangers of street drugs from the black market 24:00 Vape industry marketing to kids 24:36 Is it "just" cannabis? 24:50 Can you get addicted to cannabis? 28:25 Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS) and stigma 31:12 Communicating with your kids about cannabis 32:42 The unique chemistry of edible cannabis, which packs a powerful punch 35:55 How much cannabis does Joey use? 37:28 Bi-phasic effect of cannabis - high dose v. low dose 39:50 Remedies for cannabis overdoses or overwhelm 43:00 High doses of cannabis can make psychiatric problems worse 43:35 Fentanyl in weed and how to test for it 36:35 Safest ways to use cannabis 49:48 Jason's advice to parents about how to communicate with our kids about cannabis --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth and Jan, Joey's moms, give a State of the Family update. They talk about what's been happening with all 3 family members, and share their vision for Safe Home Families as well. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Safe Home Families information: Website: https://SafeHomeFamilies.com Safe Home Bookclub: https://bookclubs.com/clubs/5964570/join/d6adea/ Compassionate Boundaries Workshop - May 28, 2022: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/compassionate-boundaries-an-interactive-workshop-tickets-331282202987 Patreon page: https://Patreon.com/SafeHome Email: [email protected] Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon - https://Patreon.com/SafeHome =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:30 Family updates - Beth, Jan, and Joey 6:03 How Beth and Jan work together to maintain boundaries 13:48 Changing the things we can, which often prompts change in the family system 14:53 Adolescence and wanting more independence 23:50 Changing geography to try to solve problems 25:25 How our boundaries bring us peace and sanity 27:00 Safe Home Podcast expands to Safe Home Families 28:12 New support system for adoptive parents is coming 32:09 A boost in hope for Joey's future 33:48 Our Patreon account - thanks to our current Patreon members - Camille, Susan, Nina, Rica, Mara, and Steve & Barbara 37:42 Huge gratitude for our first sponsor - Beth & Laurie Hansen --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

THIS PODCAST EPISODE CAN BE SEEN IN VIDEO FORMAT ON YOUTUBE AT: https://youtu.be/cQeNVrW0v2U In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Alex Kaplan, co-founding Executive Director & Chief Vision Officer of "Of Substance," an innovative nonprofit that makes premium, entertaining short films to help us all overcome the shame, blame, and stigma we experience in our struggles. Having overcome his own challenges with substances, Alex has been through the wringer, but he has turned his life around and is now helping other struggling people to find connection, a sense of belonging, and hope. =============== 📬 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Alex's information: Of Substance - https://www.ofsubstance.org/ MTVs Mental Health Action Day/Network - https://www.mentalhealthaction.network/ Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] www.SafeHomeFamilies.com Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:55 - Alex's trauma, shame, and addiction story 5:48 - Alex's recovery story 12:38 - Beth's story about how our healthcare system has NOT helped Joey 14:02 - How addicted people deserve more credit than they are given 17:00 - Curiosity about the positive things people are getting from substances 19:00 - Getting to the core issues 22:44 - What kind of movies is Of Substance making? 26:13 - How Alex's relationship with his mom was transformed by his film "Trapped" 30:05 - Alex's vision for Of Substance 37:04 - The topic of shame in media 39:44 - How non-industry people can support Of Substance 43:31 - "Bandaids," one of Of Substance's short films 51:35 - How we all can help get Of Substance's message out 54:25 - "Hide Your Crazy" monster film and MTV's Mental Health Action Day, May 20-22, 2022 --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Erik, who spent three decades living under the dark cloud of active addiction, but who is now whole and walking on the recovery path. It's a dramatic transformation story that testifies to the power of love and hope in our addicted loved one's recovery. Erik misused meth for over 30 years, and he alternated between living under a bridge, in jail, prison, rehabs, and halfway houses during that time. Joining in the conversation in the second half of the episode are his sister Beth and their 89-year-old mom Laurie, who realized they were helpless to "fix" Erik. But they never gave up hope that he would find recovery. And he did! Find out what it was that turned Erik's life around, and hear from all three family members, who are dear friends of Beth, Jan, and Joey, as they recall the traumatic experiences and triumphs of their family. =============== RESOURCES: Resource mentioned in this episode: Oxford House - https://www.oxfordhouse.org/ Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon =============== TIME STAMPS: 1:28 Erik's adolescence and the start of his addictive behavior 5:17 Finding a sense of community on the streets 6:34 Introduction of meth and life got way worse 10:59 The revolving door of incarceration 20:30 What ended up turning Erik around? 30:04 Erik reflects on his parents and his own parenting 34:47 Erik's sister Beth and mom Laurie join the conversation 48:27 Erik's miraculous transformation through the responsibility of work --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message

In this week's Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Ross Leppala, professional powerlifter, coach, host of the Project UnchainED podcast, and creator of The Belonging Blueprint course. He suffered from bullying and suicidal ideation when he was young, but sports, especially football, turned his life around. He became a powerlifter and powerlifting coach, and he has expanded his skills to help his athletes and others with their personal growth as well. He helps his clients create a sense of belonging within themselves. =============== 💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX =============== RESOURCES: Ross's information: The Belonging Blueprint course that Ross offers: https://www.holisticalignmentstrategies.com/the-belonging-blueprint-f294cb7f-5e69-433b-b20a-04b5e7425645 Project UnchainED Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4rAXMYFftt4FAtWgnh8aMA Meet Ross article: https://shoutoutatlanta.com/meet-ross-leppala-powerlifting-life-coach/ Ross's email: [email protected] Other Resources: Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling =============== Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at [email protected] Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon =============== TIME STAMPS: 2:43 Ross's childhood struggles with bullying 8:18 Ross found sports which helped with his self-worth issues 15:19 Personal growth and discipline gained through powerlifting 17:00 Ross's life coaching process and tools 23:20 Ross's advice for parents of struggling teens 37:21 The Belonging Blueprint course 44:16 The choice to create change --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message