True Love and Toxic Relationships with Heidi Rain

Are they choosing alcohol over you? Do they love you enough to quit drinking?   schedule a consultation here... https://www.lovecoachheidi.com/   Love Coach Heidi, D. Div, MNLP, MCC, Addiction Professional, and Master Codependency Coach is the creator of Attachment Personality Patterns and the Rapid Detachment Method. Her books, courses, and programs specialize in codependency, self-love, dysfunctional/unhealthy relationships, and dealing with addiction in the family. Her goal is to increase awareness of generational dysfunction through codependency education, fostering personal responsibility through masterful coaching, and affecting lasting change by breaking toxic patterns and ending the cycles of dysfunction for good. To further the message, Heidi certifies coaches, therapists, and healers through her training and development company, Empowerment Coach University.

If you are in a relationship with an addict or alcoholic, you are being impacted in 6 major ways! Learn how you've been impacted so you can start the journey to healing and health! As always, LYFE School is the place to be if you want to break free! Come learn more at www.LoveCoachHeidi.Com

What's a nice alcoholic? Are you in a relationship with an alcoholic? Let's talk about the impact of alcoholism on the family. To schedule a consultation, visit https://www.lovecoachheidi.com/ Heidi Rain Love Coach Heidi, Th.D., D. Div., MNLP, MCC, is the Founder and Professor of The Codependency Institute. Her books, courses, and programs specialize in codependency, self-love, dysfunctional/unhealthy relationships, and dealing with addiction in the family. Her goal is to increase awareness of generational dysfunction through codependency education, fostering personal responsibility through masterful coaching, and affecting lasting change by breaking toxic patterns, ending the cycles of dysfunction for good. To further the message, Heidi certifies coaches, therapists, and healers through her training and development company, Empowerment Coach University.

Here's the truth. You can have absolutely everything else but if you have a relationship that causes you confusion, anxiety, resentment, or pain, then you'll ask yourself “what's the point?” You deserve better than that. So, how do you have the peace and sanity you deserve, especially when it comes to dealing with a relationship with an addict and alcoholic? Let's be real. When you have a relationship with an addict or an alcoholic, you feel like you have two people. You have the person you know your loved one can be and you have the person that is currently showing up for you. There’s a tug of war between the two and you wonder if you can ever trust this person to do the right thing. You grow so resentful and tired of believing the lies only to be disappointed over and over again! When should you stop trusting an addict or alcoholic to do the right thing? There comes a point where you think, “I’ve got to stop being so gullible.” So we remain “cautiously optimistic.” But what does that really mean? Trust is the foundation of every good relationship. Without trust, we have nowhere to go. I know you want to trust and I know you are keeping the hope alive that your loved one will finally get it! But I also know you are in immense pain and your feelings run the gamut from despair to numb. You’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop and when they are sober, you can’t even feel happy because you think, “it’s only a matter of time before it all goes to Hell again.” Your pain is real. Your anxiety is valid. Your feelings matter! But if you’re used to walking on eggshells, you won’t know what to do with your pain. You may feel guilty for being angry or feeling distrustful. Your addicted loved one may even put the blame for their relapse on you for not “believing in them enough”. It’s an unbelievable hard place to be in. We don't talk about the family enough. And that's why my mission is so important to me. Addition affects the family so much more than we realize or give attention to. There’s a lot more help for the addict or alcoholic. And one can feel like you have nowhere to go. The truth is, of course, the addict has had it rough. But you may have had it worse. Why? Because while the addict was high, checked out, or sleepwalking their way through the pain they caused, you were awake for every second of it. You may find out that you’re just now realizing the massive impact this has made on you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, financially, and physically. So, back to trust. When do you stop trusting that the addict or alcoholic will do the right thing? Here’s the rule. You can always trust something to be what it is and you can never trust something to be what it is not. For example, I am going to trust that a chicken is a chicken and a tree is a tree. But I’m not going to trust that a chicken is a tree. (no matter how much potential I believe it has or how much I think it should be or the story that if the tree loved me it would.) What that means for you when a person is active in their addiction, you’re not going to trust him or her to behave in any other way than an addict in active addiction would behave. You start to realize that getting mad at an alcoholic for drinking is like wanting a chicken to be a tree. When you say, “I trusted you that you wouldn't use drugs”, “I trusted you that you wouldn't drink today”, “I trusted you not to get high.”, “I trusted you to go to the meeting.”. It is the same as saying, “I trusted the chicken to be a tree.” It’s ridiculous. It doesn’t make any sense. So, what do you do? Give up believing? Give up hope? Stop trusting forever? No. You never give up hope. You never stop having faith that things can and will be different. But you give that to your higher power and you deal in reality. Here’s what happens. You call out the person for using. They promise they will get help and start to work some kind of program. You get happy. Your brain gets flooded with happy chemicals and you become high on hope. You think, “Thank God! They finally get it! It's over!” BUT NOTHING HAS ACTUALLY HAPPENED YET. So, in the video, I give you a new way to look at things. If you need help with boundaries, you can find a free workshop at www.LoveCoachHeidi.Com So that’s it for now. I’m keeping it simple because it is. Love, Coach Heidi https://www.lovecoachheidi.com/

Trying to control an addict's behavior. what is enabling? If you have an addicted spouse, partner, or addicted child, you know all too well the lengths you go to to try and control their using and their behavior. In this video, I'm explaining some of the ways we try and control along with what you can do to help your loved one get better as well as yourself. go here to book a consultation... https://www.lovecoachheidi.com

Guilt trips and BOUNDARIES: When they make you feel bad for holding your bottom line. If you’ve finally gotten to the place of setting a boundary, I first want to take a minute and congratulate you! It’s no easy feat! Setting a boundary with someone you truly care about is hard. But now that you’ve set the boundary, it’s being met with resistance or push back and that’s making you feel pretty bad. So, what do you do about that? I had a video request about this very topic from a wife of an alcoholic. Likely, if you get to the place of setting boundaries, you too are doing wit with an unhealthy person. This could be a toxic, dysfunctional, or narcissistic person. Addiction looks a lot like narcissism in that it displays the same level of denial of the impact on others and lacks insight and empathy into the feelings of those effects. In this particular scenario, the wife had set a boundary with her husband that she was unwilling to sleep in the same bed with him if he was drinking. A while later, after holding the boundary, he complained that he didn’t feel like they had a relationship because she wasn’t sleeping in the same bed as him. Now, here’s the thing, narcissists and addicts are delusional in many respects. They live in denial. So as he sees it, she’s creating a problem in the marriage, totally missing the fact that she’s set a boundary about his drinking. Addicts, alcoholics, narcissists, and toxic people use blame, shame, guilt, and denial when confronted with their own behavior. So, it’s natural that he behaves in this way, blaming her and totally missing the point. But his wife, if she gets sucked into the lie, will believe that she is causing the problem, losing sight of the real issue too. Her job is to stay awake when he’s asleep to the truth. The best thing to do in moments when someone is using blame or guilt is to calmly restate the boundary, reminding him or her why you set the boundary in the first place. Please watch the video for more. If you want help setting boundaries, you can schedule an appointment here. https://www.lovecoachheidi.com/ If you want to request a video topic, you can do that here. https://www.lovecoachheidi.com/

Do you have an addict, alcoholic, or otherwise narcissistic person in your life that continues to treat you with disrespect and disregard? Today I will be giving a talk on boundaries. As always, LYFE School is the place to be if you want to break free! Come learn more at www.LoveCoachHeidi.Com

when you grow up with an addicted parent, it leaves you with many issues in your adult life. Trust issues Intimacy Issues Vulnerability issues control issues Perfectionism issues People pleasing Fixing and many more. Love Coach Heidi aims to educate and equip you with the insight you need to break free from codependent behavior. Reach out for more information at https://www.lovecoachheidi.com/

Love Coach Heidi answers the question can an addict change? To schedule a complimentary consultation, visit https://www.lovecoachheidi.com/ Love Coach Heidi, D. Div., MNLP, MCC, is the creator founder of LYFE School. Her books, courses, and programs specialize in codependency, self-love, dysfunctional/unhealthy relationships, and dealing with addiction in the family. Her goal is to increase awareness of generational dysfunction through codependency education, fostering personal responsibility through masterful coaching, and affecting lasting change by breaking toxic patterns, ending the cycles of dysfunction for good. To further the message, Heidi certifies coaches, therapists, and healers through her training and development companies: Empowerment Coach University, and The Codependency Institute.

How to forgive an addict or alcoholic. Join Heidi Rain (Love Coach Heidi) as she discussed the 3 steps you must take in order to forgive an alcoholic or addict. For help implementing this information, consider joining our program called LYFE School. It's a 12 week journey with Heidi to understand codependency and addiction so that you have all of the tools you need to break free from toxic and dysfunctional behavior. You can apply here... https://www.lovecoachheidi.com/ About Heidi D. Div, MNLP, MCC, Addiction Professional, and Master Codependency Coach is the creator of Attachment Personality Patterns and the Rapid Detachment Method. Her books, courses, and programs specialize in codependency, self-love, dysfunctional/unhealthy relationships, and dealing with addiction in the family. Her goal is to increase awareness of generational dysfunction through codependency education, fostering personal responsibility through masterful coaching, and affecting lasting change by breaking toxic patterns, ending the cycles of dysfunction for good. To further the message, Heidi certifies coaches, therapists, and healers through her training and development company, Empowerment Coach University.

How to deal with an addicted spouse what's codependent? Dealing in dysfunctional and toxic relationships is my area of expertise. And there is nothing more frustrating than dealing with an addict or alcoholic. You feel like you're living with two people: the one you married and the one you have now. You wonder how to get then to stop drinking and using drugs/ You just want to get your partner back. In this video, I give you 5 things you need to know when dealing with an addict or alcoholic. For more information and a free checklist on helping versus hurting, visit here, https://www.lovecoachheidi.com Heidi Rain McGuirk is a Master Practitioner of NLP, Addiction Professional and Master Certified Empowerment and Relationship Coach. She specializes in codependency, self-love, dysfunctional/unhealthy relationships, and dealing with addiction in the family. She is co-creator of the Revolutionary Family Program and Love Yourself First Empowerment School. It’s her passion to equip and certify those who want to help others through her Empowerment Coach University. Heidi held an esteemed faculty position at one of the world’s leading drug and alcohol treatment centers where she created empowerment programming and facilitated psychoeducational lectures, seminars, and group therapy. This experience with thousands of clients over many years led to the creation of much of her life-changing curriculum and proprietary methods. Heidi blends her vast professional experience, world-class education, and personal experience to create exceptional results with her students and clients.. She has a unique understanding and fresh perspective which helps her to truly get results with those she helps. Her riveting style of using humor and candor encourages and inspires people to heal. you can find her at https://www.lovecoachheidi.com/

What's Wrong With Me? The lasting impact on children who grow up in addiction, abuse, or dysfunction is a book written by Heidi Rain to help Adult Children of Alcoholics, Substance Abusers, and Children of Dysfunction understand the impact as it relates to codependency traits and dysfunctional behavior. Inside the book, you will find the many ways codependency shows up in one's life. My hope for this book is that it will be used as a discussion tool for curious individuals, therapists, and drug and alcohol treatment centers around the world. My desire is that it provides hope, healing, and compassion for those who read it. Please consider helping us by sharing this video or purchasing the book. https://www.amazon.com/Whats-Wrong-He... You can reach out to me if you'd like me to speak at your even or treatment center as well as find information about our codependency recovery program here... https://www.lovecoachheidi.com/   Music Composed and performed by Russ DeSalvo   About Heidi D. Div, MNLP, MCC, Addiction Professional, and Master Codependency Coach is the creator of Attachment Personality Patterns and the Rapid Detachment Method. Her books, courses, and programs specialize in codependency, self-love, dysfunctional/unhealthy relationships, and dealing with addiction in the family. Her goal is to increase awareness of generational dysfunction through codependency education, fostering personal responsibility through masterful coaching, and affecting lasting change by breaking toxic patterns, and ending the cycles of dysfunction for good. To further the message, Heidi certifies coaches, therapists, and healers through her training and development company, Empowerment Coach University.

what is a functioning addict or alcoholic? Is there such a thing? How do you know if it's a problem? What do you do to help? For more support and to check out our programs, head over to https://www.lovecoachheidi.com

I have to say....I'm a little nervous. I've never shared this story publicly. But it's time to be willing to be seen and heard in order to help more people. Today...I am sharing a special story for people impacted by others' addictions. I want to share this information with people all around the world. Let's start a revolution. #revolutionaryfamilyprogram

There’s no more frustrating relationship than the one with an addict and alcoholic because it's like you're with two people: the person you know that exists inside of the person you love and the person they're showing up as today. Are you asking yourself “Should I stay or should I go? How do you know when is it time to leave the relationship? Likely, you have put what you want on the back burner in hopes of getting your loved one better. Most of the time you're so busy figuring out what's going to help them or get them sober or stop them from hurting themselves or others that all of your focus and energy is on them instead of on what you really want. Here, we are going to look at 5 key indicators that it’s time to consider leaving the relationship. That may also mean taking some time away to work on yourself because here's what I know for sure~ you need to get better whether they get better or not. Being in a relationship with an addict or alcoholic hurts you in ways you may not yet recognize. It impacts the entire family. Understanding this impact is the key to your healing. That’s what we try to do at https://www.lovecoachheidi.com/ . We want to equip, educate and empower you with the resources you need to live a sane, happy life. I hope you have found this helpful. Please leave a comment, like or share if it has benefitted you so we can continue to reach more people. With Love, Coach Heidi

Addiction Recovery Breakthrough for families of addicts and alcoholics. This episode is geared towards family members of addicts and alcoholics. There are 6 keys to helping your loved one get and stay sober and you have more influence than you think. For more information and to schedule a complimentary consultation, go here...https://www.lovecoachheidi.com/ As an addiction consultant and a codependency expert, I provide people in toxic, addicted or dysfunctional relationships with laser focused coaching so they know exactly what to do. Let me help you get your life back. Being in a relationship of any kind with an addict or alcoholic causes an emotional, physical, and psychological rollercoaster. It’s crucial that you have BOUNDARIES! My latest on demand master mini course lays the foundation of how to set and hold a boundary with an addict. You will get the exact step by step formula and the insight, wisdom, and guidance you need to set a boundary and FOLLOW THROUGH. Boundary course here.... https://addictionandcodependency.myka... Learn: Why boundaries fail Common boundary mistakes with an addict or alcoholic How to get massive clarity around what you want, deserve, and are no longer willing to tolerate. How to communicate with clarity, empathy, and strength. How to follow through The exact language to use with an addict or alcoholic How to stop being manipulated, gaslit, and guilted out of your boundaries How to create a healthy, peaceful environment for you and your family. When you purchase this course, you will get immediate access. Lessons are released weekly over 4 weeks. Please watch 1 lesson per week and take the entire week to practice the lesson you learned. You will have lifetime access to this course and you’re able to revisit any lesson you wish once all 4 lessons have been unlocked. This is a stand alone course and does not include semi private coaching (like our Addiction and Codependency recovery Course). Boundary course here... https://addictionandcodependency.myka... Are you in the Right Place? You are dealing with an addicted, toxic, or dysfunctional person and need to know exactly what to do. You’re the glue, the hero, or the rock in your relationships. You have caseloads instead of relationships. It’s totally unbalanced and you feel unsupported. You’re confused. Should you stay or should you go? Can this relationship work or be saved? You walk on eggshells in your relationships. You work overtime to protect the feelings of others. Talk with me about my coaching options and ... You’re trying to fix or change someone. You’re tired of putting up with the behavior you don’t deserve. You want someone to love, respect, and value you. You’re successful. You’ve achieved a lot in your life, but relationships are difficult for you. You’re ready and determined to create a happy, healthy relationship. You want a true partner in life who will put in as much effort as you do.

Heidi Rain Love Coach Heidi, Th.D, D. Div, MNLP, MCC, is a Master Codependency Coach and creator of Attachment Personality Patterns and the Rapid Detachment Method. Her books, courses, and programs specialize in codependency, self-love, dysfunctional/unhealthy relationships, and dealing with addiction in the family. Her goal is to increase awareness of generational dysfunction through codependency education, fostering personal responsibility through masterful coaching, and affecting lasting change by breaking toxic patterns, ending the cycles of dysfunction for good. To further the message, Heidi certifies coaches, therapists, and healers through her training and development company, Empowerment Coach University.