The Psychology of the Ick — and What It Says About You
This Complex Life · Marie Vakakis
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Show Notes
The ick in dating, it’s that moment where someone does something completely normal, and your whole body just shuts down. A 2025 study found that 64% of people have felt it, and about a quarter ended the relationship because of it. It is a real psychological phenomenon, and it might be telling you more about yourself than the person across the table.
This episode covers:
- What the ick actually is and why it happens
- Red flags versus superficial triggers
- How shame, projection and avoidant attachment show up as the ick
- Whether we are being too picky in the wrong ways and not picky enough in the right ones
- What to do when the ick shows up in your relationship
Resources:
If you want to move from reacting to reflecting, download my Conflict & Connection Guide to help you navigate those moments of disconnect.
https://marievakakis.com.au/working-with-conflict-in-couples-therapy/
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/guys-things-women-do-ick_l_65fdc42fe4b087dad305664b