The 4 Habits that Predict Relationship Trouble
This Complex Life · Marie Vakakis
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Show Notes
Have you ever had a fight with your partner that started over something small but somehow turned into a huge blow up? It’s rarely about the dishes, the bills, or who walked the dog. The way we argue matters more than the content of the fight.
In this solo episode, I talk about the four relationship habits that John and Julie Gottman call the “Four Horsemen” patterns of conflict that predict relationship distress and even separation. More importantly, I share the antidotes: what to do instead.
We’ll explore:
- Why conflict isn’t a bad sign and it’s how you handle it that matters
- The three main conflict styles couples use
- The four habits that harm relationships: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling
- Practical antidotes for each of these habits
- Why repair and accountability are more powerful than getting it right every time
Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or just want to understand communication better, this episode will help you notice patterns and make small but meaningful shifts.
Resources:
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work – John and Julie Gottman
- Fight Right – Julie Schwartz Gottman and John Gottman
Listen now and start shifting the way you think about conflict.
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Mentioned in this episode:
Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/