They Come to America

Just when you thought that South Dakota was boring, its sister North Dakota shows up to show you that, as much as old South Dakota doesn't wanna do mouth stuff, North Dakota doesn't even know what that means. We're joined once again by Jayson Weihs to discuss literally nothing, as per the tradition of what goes on in North Dakota. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the Civil War all over again as brother is once again pitted against brother in this incestuous episode featuring Brendan's brother Ryan Kelly. Come for whatever people come to Missouri for and stay because you ran out of gas. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not since Washington crossed a river of the same name has anything interesting ever been associated with the word Delaware. The boys are joined by Tom May of the Menzingers and we discuss infiltrating wealthy sports boxes, the revolting nature of Subway and less! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Once in Montana, I had a personal pizza man following me around all night. Marti pointed out that Dino nuggets are technically made of dinosaurs. Also, we're joined by the Chicago Field Museum Curator and paleontologist Jingmai O'Connor who tells us all about things that happened back in the day and was really really patient as she pretended we weren't the dumbest people she's ever talked to Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's like a state that only has potatoes, but this episode also features prince and the revolution, a dude named Ted Stench AND a cop who's been vaporized by potatoes just to bring it all back home. We're joined by Ben Sir of the Buck in Edmonton and the centrifuge of the wonderful Canadian band Worst Days Down. Come for the very stupid stuff Marti and Beex say, stay for Ben trying very hard to keep this whole thing dignified. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What can you say about Ohio that hasn't already been said about Buc Nasty's suit? It's bombed out and depleted. This week we're joined by the very talented Lydia Loveless who poses the question "what the hell was that naked man in shoes and a hat doing on my rural road?" We also speculate on the role of feces in lovemaking and more. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you think of Kansas, you probably think of it as being the home of White Castle, but it's so much less! We're joined by legit rock & roll star John Nolan of Taking Back Sunday on this bold journey into a state with a history almost as interesting as its shape. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What does the Ku Klux Klan, a pray the gay away Trump lackey and a sandwich pitchman that makes tender love to kids have in common? That's right! They're all disgusting. Also, they're all from Indiana, which also, pretty gross. We're joined this week by Mike Jerome, who literally managed the subway that Jared went to. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Derek Grant of the Alkaline Trio and Suicide Machines joins the party and frankly we spend most of the time talking about people who want to have sex with teddy bears. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Somehow, aliens never came up once but fake identities and sneaking into super exclusive events does as your beloved host and tolerated assistant are joined by a guy named Brett they met on the internet. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Marti and Beex are joined by author/journalist/death threat collector Luke O'neil, who at some point just starts reading poetry and then insults the entire organization. Lobster is mentioned. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ever been to an animal brothel? Us too. And we talk all about it with Toby Jeg, founder of Red Scare Industries and friend of the show. Go Seahawks, or whatever. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week features the second biggest state in the union and Garrett Dale of Red City Radio fame. Marti says something so offensive that if it wasn't the Texas episode, he'd be cancelled for sure. As it stands, it got huge laughs. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Marti is joined by Jason Weihs, and tolerates Brendan as they discuss the ins and outs of South Dakota's punk rock house party scene. Then they all get COVID and die Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this introductory episode, Marti and his trusty sidekick Brendan traveled deep into the center of the earth to explain exactly what They Come To America is all about. That's why the sound is so shitty on this one. Lessons were learned. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.