The Unwritable Rant

Juliette considers the size of her liver, meets a work of art, holds a bear hostage, makes out in a state of grace, waits out a relationship, chooses her own call girl adventure, sits in her own nightmare, and considers a savior. Be sure to check out Juliette's new cooking podcast, That One Thing. Every episode she features one ingredient and recipe to elevate your everyday cooking. That One Thing podcast https://sites.libsyn.com/445113

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette debates voodoo, takes a shine to slots, leaves a trail of bloody footprints, loathes a pedestrian mall, contemplates bribery, refuses to reschedule, battles swampy muck and metal barricades, discovers pothole hell, finds pink-tinted salvation, and appreciates things that are not easy.

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette spins a moral judgement, feels the icy side eye of Hemingway, calls out inappropriate coffee and Kafka, stops flushing drugs, appreciates the annoyed side of Honey, hightails it to a crematorium, and walks away a monster.

In this bourbon-soaked story, Juliette comforts Honey, her New Orleans Crazytown counterpart, enjoys a Louisiana lunch, crosses a courtyard, discovers a belfry, risks a felony, underestimates the importance of satsumas, flees a wonderland caterpillar, and slightly revises her suspect life advice.

Juliette returns with a new season announcement, considers the world's weirdest speedball, and revisits her favorite Christmas story, because nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a lap dance. All new bourbon-soaked stories will resume in January 2022

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette refuses to trust a Mississippi disaster, dodges a blade, takes to the road with the Alley Cats, rides in full of glory, makes desperate calls, raises awareness, gets funky and foul, visits a town where nobody wins, rages over a word, chooses between two rock and roll relationships, and find her way out of logger land.

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette encounters a dirty thug in a pink shell, questions a midsummer argument, runs hot with Daisy, visits dead land, hunts down boys and ghosts, flees a troop of handsy locals, meets a disturbing figure, desperately needs a key, and decides to look back.

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette meets spirit animal Edmund, questions wonky streets, is unwelcome at a crawfish boil, dodges carcasses, appreciates a scoundrel, follows the road to hell, discovers a strange hotel, learns how to finesse a lock, volunteers a piano man, and takes her sweet time leaving.

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette picks up where a Crazytown night left off, admits to being a terrible stripper, establishes rabbit hole rules, descends into friendship hell, checks faux hooker backgrounds, attempts to help, goes in for a rage-fueled rescue, bounces but does not splash, gets assaulted by her conscience, and accepts destruction. Be sure to check out episode 100 in The Unwritable Rant archives to hear how this Crazytown story began.

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette introduces the worst musician in Los Angeles, reluctantly takes the bait, adds a phrase to her vocab sheet, offers boundless support, revises a bio, reduces to a pile of self pity, attempts a chemistry project, discovers the color of a festering lesion, owes unexpected money, and crushes dreams.

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette does a safety dance, reunites with Texas and Birdie, prowls the night, plays the horses, hears scales, profits off a bachelorette party, leads a Bacchanalian rodeo, loses friends to Bourbon Street, finds a Quarter bulldog, breaks up a dirty group hug, and questions expectations.

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette survives Mardi Gras, ruins nice things, gets in and gets out, clashes with Myles, detests gold stars, falls below the line, team builds out of spite, wins an award for nothing, plans a diabolical game, steps out with lady Bingo balls, dishes zingers, and realizes a real villain.

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette breaks a bed, encounters relationship rage, eats all the cheese, has no compatibility with Bugsy, makes concessions, accepts poor advice, gets barnacle itchy, reluctantly goes camping, receives training wheels, hears rustling aliens, tears off, rejects a ring, and meets a better fit.

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette pays off an old debt, takes on a new form of torture, records in East LA, considers a brick wall, kills the teddy bears, cleans up Van Nuys Blvd., puts a gig on the books, improves timing, checks an ego, wrenches all wrong, and understands the price of music.

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette does something cliche, considers the good kind of cheating, calls in a favor from Dusty, finds a leg, dismisses the girlfriends, has immediate access, moves in on more, hear from an impressive Star, white knuckles her way onto the sidelines, watches a window like a psycho, and understands the right kind of woman.

Juliette is slow to start the new year, fakes her way through football, meets a Rank chef, embellishes her culinary credentials, feels things, finds an overreaching gig, lies for payoff, confronts potatoes, hits a brick wall future, takes a chestful of blame, and accepts stupidity tax.

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette considers trading snow for sand fleas, launches a foul drunk with Jackass, becomes suspicious, practices classics, visits John Hughes territory, goes caroling with allegedly merry folks, witnesses a ski mask Santa, becomes a literal Grinch, politely waves, smiles at a Technicolor trail, reconvenes at White Castle, and experiences spirit over sliders. Don't forget: The Unwritable Rant podcast will be on a two-week holiday break. New episodes begin on January 10, 2021.

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette demonstrates little common sense, maneuvers past vagrants, drives out of bounds, accepts a chilly errand, picks up a great slab of art, questions panty hose, avoids escalators, votes early and often, lies for a date, takes out minty chocolates, and learns nothing.

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette revisits the creatures of Christmas past, looks into her family tree, hears an unexpected thwacking, meets the mother of all Southside bats, appreciates Clydesdales, handles a mean little jerk, reaches a relationship crossroad, delves into secrets and poo pellets, and writes an apology.

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette gets selfish, attempts respectability, lacks a physical demonstration, hates waiting, goes home for Thanksgiving with Treble Clef, meets an ice queen, debates mommy issues, has a dreadful spill, misses every note, meets the right family, and appreciates the power of yellow sticky notes.