The Seth Williams Show

Seth and Chris kick off with the full Star-Spangled Banner, then dive straight into zero-filter chaos: Easter ham disasters, Sydney Sweeney’s upcoming ass-up OnlyFans scenes, wrestling dirt on Nick Nemeth and Hulk Hogan’s Netflix special, and Chris dropping the most unhinged military sex stories you’ll ever hear on a podcast. From Seth’s croquet-ball-sized medical nightmare and his wife chucking an $20 Easter ham in the trash because of bad instructions, to Chris confessing he banged hundreds of Korean hookers with zero protection during his Army days, this episode is pure CMS unhinged gold. They roast Jake Underwood’s health lectures, rave about Dave Landau’s new show, touch on the Iran mess, and finish with a live tour of Edwin’s restaurant with Tony Massaccio plus a custom Seth Williams anthem. Raw, funny, and zero apologies — exactly what you expect from The Seth Williams Show.ON THIS EPISODE: 00:00:06 - National Anthem & Show Banter00:02:54 - Greetings, Marcus Off, Rumble Strategy00:05:02 - “Talk About Pussy” Text & Sydney Sweeney Euphoria Hype00:05:52 - Wrestling Talk: Nick Nemeth, TNA, Hulk Hogan Netflix Special00:08:18 - Easter Stories & AI Blow-Up Doll Graphics00:10:06 - Locals App Promo00:12:30 - Seth’s Ham Catastrophe: Wife Throws It in the Trash00:16:31 - Wifely Duties, Birth Control Jokes & Orthodox Easter00:17:53 - Jake’s Health Lectures & Weight Rant00:24:05 - Dave Landau’s “Stu & Dave Do America” Show00:26:46 - Iran Ceasefire Chaos & Middle East Politics00:30:05 - Blackout Coffee Ad00:40:12 - Chris Akin’s Korea Hooker Confessions (Hundreds, No Rubber)00:46:21 - Tony Massaccio Live at Edwin’s Restaurant Tour00:58:40 - Custom Seth Williams Anthem Outro This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

Stop waiting in line and get instant access to every show, advance interviews, and exclusive bonus content for just $4.99 at https://classicmetalshow.locals.com.Is your life being managed by a script you didn’t write? From the suspicious timing of “new variants” to the sudden explosion of massive data centers in the Ohio heartland, the pieces of a much larger puzzle are starting to fit together. Seth and Chris tear into the reality of a world that feels increasingly like a simulation designed to keep you compliant. Don’t just sit there—get on the inside before the shutters go down for good.👉 JOIN THE VIP INNER CIRCLE: https://classicmetalshow.locals.comFEATURED ON THIS EPISODE:* THE LUNAR HOAX: Why NASA’s “test runs” in 2026 make the 1969 landing look like a Hollywood soundstage production.* THE SURVEILLANCE GRID: The truth behind the massive data centers popping up in Ohio and their link to AI control.* LOCKDOWN 2.0: Deep-diving into the “Cicada” variant and why the “6-foot rule” was always a psychological experiment.* THE AI REPLACEMENT: Which industries are about to be wiped off the map by 2027 and how to stay valuable.THE SETH SHOW MALL🔥 SPONSOR GEAR:* Van Halen F.U.C.K. Box Set: https://amzn.to/4l600Lh* Black Sabbath 70-75 Vinyl: https://amzn.to/4oUeEIg* Metallica LOAD Vinyl: https://amzn.to/4fjGnOw📚 CHRIS AKIN’S VAULT:* Cause & Effect Metallica: https://amzn.to/4fjrLzN🛒 OFFICIAL MERCH:* CMS Hail and Snore Pillow: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/hail-and-snore-pillow(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)STANDARD CAP FOOTER* Cameo (Custom Video): https://www.cameo.com/chrisakin* Substack (Audio Feed): * Follow on X: https://www.x.com/cmsrocks* Saturday Night Live: THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW is Live Saturdays 9pm-3am EST on Rumble/Locals. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

Seth Williams and Chris Akin aren’t here to play by the rules or read from a corporate script. In this raw, unedited session, the guys are joined by special guest and comedian Don Jamieson to pull back the curtain on the “death” of the legendary Funny Stop. Between Seth’s “swollen ball syndrome” updates and the arrival of restaurant reporter Tony Musachio from the new and improved SHOOTERS, this is the high-octane chaos the mainstream media is too terrified to broadcast. If you want the truth from a comedy veteran who has seen it all, you’re in the right place.👉 JOIN THE VIP INNER CIRCLE: https://classicmetalshow.locals.com👉 Get Don Jamieson’s HELL BENT FOR LAUGHTER Here: https://amzn.to/3NBSfClFeatured On This Episode:Special Guest Don Jamieson: The comedy vet discusses being the final national headliner at the Funny Stop.The Death of Local Comedy: Don Jamieson breaks down the reality of closing iconic rooms.The “Gateway Band” Theory: Don and the guys debate how to indoctrinate friends into Death Metal.The Great Podcast Wars: Why some creators, including former partners, are more interested in drama than jokes.Tony Musachio’s Kitchen Tour: A live look at the “new and improved” Shooters in the Flats.🔥 SPONSOR GEAR:Black Sabbath Sabotage Box: https://amzn.to/45gHgDcRatt Atlantic Years Box: https://amzn.to/4m0HxkNDream Theater 93-99: https://amzn.to/43I4br5📚 CHRIS AKIN’S VAULT:...And Other Things I Should Not Say...: https://amzn.to/48v3YVf🛒 OFFICIAL MERCH:CMS iPhone Tough Case: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/iphone-tough-case-1451(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)Cameo (Custom Video): https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinSubstack (Audio Feed): Follow on X: https://www.x.com/cmsrocksSaturday Night Live: THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW is Live Saturdays 9pm-3am EST on Rumble/Locals. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

The world is getting weirder by the hour, and most of you are just watching the “Cavaliers game” while the foundation of the country is being dismantled. Seth and Chris dive into the deep end today, questioning why we are more concerned with political optics than the actual life-and-death consequences of industry lies. From the “vaccine” debate that just got Seth banned from YouTube in 35 seconds to the terrifying reality of what’s actually coming across our borders, this isn’t the script you’ll hear on the evening news. We’re pulling back the curtain on the “expert” class and asking the questions they’ve deemed illegal to answer.👉 JOIN THE VIP INNER CIRCLE: https://classicmetalshow.locals.comFEATURED ON THIS EPISODEThe 35-Second Ban: Why the mere mention of vaccine research triggers immediate censorship on major platforms.The “Operation Warp Speed” Betrayal: Seth’s brutal take on why even his “MAGA” allies are wrong about Trump’s medical legacy.The 7-Ton Near Miss: A massive meteor just shook Northeast Ohio, and the lack of warning should terrify you.The DMZ Reality Check: Chris explains why America is the most “lax” nation on earth compared to the rest of the civilized world.🔥 SPONSOR GEAR:Van Halen 76-92 Collection: https://amzn.to/4oaeFqrBlack Sabbath 70-75 Box Set: https://amzn.to/4oUeEIgGhost Papa Emeritus IV Funko: https://amzn.to/4fk5sJr📚 CHRIS AKIN’S VAULT:...And Other Things I Should Not Say...: https://amzn.to/48v3YVf🛒 OFFICIAL MERCH:CMS Hail and Snore Pillow: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/hail-and-snore-pillow(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)Cameo (Custom Video): https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinSubstack (Audio Feed): Follow on X: https://www.x.com/cmsrocksSaturday Night Live: THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW is Live Saturdays 9pm-3am EST on Rumble/Locals. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe

Seth Williams is back, and he’s carrying a weight—literally—that would break a lesser man. After a month of silence, the truth about his “ball region” comes to light, and it’s a medical nightmare that sounds like a dark comedy sketch. If you think you’ve had a bad week, wait until you hear about the driveway disaster that nearly ended in a rural hostage situation.👉 JOIN THE VIP INNER CIRCLE: https://classicmetalshow.locals.comFeatured On This Episode:- The “Watermelon” Medical Mystery: Five weeks of swelling that doctors can’t (or won’t) fix.- The Driveway From Hell: Why an ice cream delivery turned into a two-hour mud-trap nightmare.- Fear Factor Realism: Chris explains why Johnny Knoxville’s new era is the only thing worth watching.- The “Seth Rule”: Why amusement parks might need a new weight—and girth—requirement.🛒 The CAP MallBlack Sabbath 70-75: https://amzn.to/4oUeEIgMetallica LOAD Vinyl: https://amzn.to/4fjGnOwDef Leppard Pyromania 40th: https://amzn.to/46AhFaB📚 CHRIS AKIN’S VAULT:Call Me Chris: https://amzn.to/4aFj8Ni🛒 OFFICIAL MERCH:CMS iPhone Tough Case: https://classicmetalshow.creator-spring.com/listing/iphone-tough-case-1451(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)Cameo (Custom Video): https://www.cameo.com/chrisakinSubstack (Audio Feed): Follow on X: https://www.x.com/cmsrocksSaturday Night Live: THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW is Live Saturdays 9pm-3am EST on Rumble/Locals. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmspn.substack.com/subscribe