The Relaxed Male

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin delves into the crucial distinction between tolerating and accepting in relationships, particularly marriage. Bryan emphasizes how tolerating can lead to resentment and emotional disconnection, while accepting allows for healthier communication and understanding. He discusses common relationship issues such as overspending and unsatisfactory love lives, highlighting the importance of addressing these problems through open dialogue and emotional honesty.Bryan also explores the societal pressures to tolerate undesirable behaviors and how this can negatively impact personal relationships. He encourages listeners to reclaim their power by accepting circumstances and working through them with their partners. By changing thought patterns and embracing acceptance, men can foster better relationships with their spouses and children. Bryan invites listeners to engage with him through email for further discussion and offers coaching services to help men improve their relationships by changing their mindset.

Bob Gardner joins Bryan Goodwin on episode 269 of The Relaxed Male, providing insights that challenge conventional approaches to pain and addiction. Bob, known as the "Freedom Specialist," shares a transformative perspective on how our mindset shapes our experiences and influences our health. At the start, Bryan highlights how Bob's work has shifted his own understanding of addiction, viewing it as a symptom of underlying emotional struggles rather than a mere behavioral issue. This conversation touches on the evolution of Bob's practice, initially focused on helping men with porn addiction, but expanding into broader realms encompassing life's challenges and embracing change.A key theme of the discussion is the power of the mind in shaping our experiences. Bob emphasizes that everyone is inadvertently harnessing their mental capabilities, whether they realize it or not, when they react to events around them. He recounts the story of a cancer patient whose condition improved dramatically after being told they received an effective treatment—only for their health to decline again once they learned it was a placebo. This highlights the mind's potent influence over the body and emphasizes Bob's view that our perceptions and beliefs shape our physical reality.Bryan probes deeper into how individuals can tap into their mental capacities. Bob elaborates, explaining that the question is often asked incorrectly, limiting possibilities. Instead of asking how to access the mind's power, individuals should recognize they are already engaging it. This ties into the concept of "entertainment," where the information we consume shapes our thoughts and responses. Bob reflects on how people often expose themselves to negative influences and emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with positive stimuli to cultivate a more constructive mindset. He recalls Einstein's insight about not solving problems from the same level of thought that created them, advocating for a shift in focus toward opportunities for positive growth.The conversation transitions to the natural limitations humans impose on themselves, stemming from societal conditioning that promotes self-doubt. Bob theorizes that such limitations arise from a resistance to life's natural flow, suggesting that many people are unaware of their potential due to the environment and narratives they've absorbed. He challenges the audience to consider alternative societies wherein limitations aren't part of the prevailing mental framework, suggesting that our desires and aims often grow from negative environments.They discuss the concept of grounding and being present in one's physical body, which leads to greater self-awareness and emotional regulation. This approach is especially relevant in situations where individuals turn to distractions or addiction in response to boredom or discomfort. Bob stresses simplifying the understanding of emotions: feelings of boredom or anxiety often boil down to a mismatch in physical states. By altering one’s physical condition, such as through movement or stretching, individuals can change their emotional state, circumventing the cognitive loops that lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms.Bryan illustrates the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors as they navigate discussions around addiction. Both agree that understanding the physiological sensations underlying emotions is vital for managing challenges. Bob encourages listeners to pay close attention to their bodies, as it can lead to breakthroughs that a purely cognitive approach may not achieve.As the dialogue continues, Bob expands on the importance of mindfulness and self-awareness in overcoming past conditioning that informs present responses. They explore how modern distractions muddy our perceptions of reality, making it difficult for individuals to connect with their true selves. Bob advocates for intentional stillness as a means to foster deeper connections with existence, which can lead to insights often missed in our hectic daily lives.In conclusion, the episode packs a wealth of information, ultimately calling on listeners to reflect on their own mental frameworks, understand their emotions at a physiological level, and engage with life more openly. Bob leaves the audience with resources to continue exploring this journey, such as his book "Built for Freedom" and associated courses designed to dismantle limiting beliefs and promote holistic healing. Bryan thanks Bob for his insights and encourages listeners to explore how these concepts can enhance their lives moving forward. This dialogue encapsulates a transformative approach to personal development, emphasizing the power within each person to shape their own reality and overcome boundaries previously thought insurmountable.RetreatsBook - Built for Freedom: The 10 adventuresLife Progressionwhat entertainsbuilt for feedom .org unshacled lAST RETREATBob InformationFacebook- https://www.facebook.com/thebobgard

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin tackles a tough question of the month from a listener named Marty, who finds himself in a difficult situation after cheating on his wife of nine years. With two young children and the possibility of another child on the way with the woman he cheated with, Marty seeks advice on how to confess to his wife and work towards regaining her trust. Brian shares insights from his own experiences and offers guidance on navigating the aftermath of infidelity, emphasizing the importance of accepting what one can control and the long road to rebuilding trust.Bryan delves into the complexities of relationships, discussing the reasons why cheating occurs and the steps necessary to improve a marriage. He highlights the significance of communication, emotional intimacy, and personal growth through the four pillars of a man's life: mind, body, community, and soul. Brian encourages listeners to take responsibility for their actions, work on self-improvement, and understand the impact of their choices on their relationships. Whether it's through open communication or seeking coaching, Brian offers practical advice for men looking to strengthen their relationships and live life on their own terms.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin takes listeners on a reflective journey as he navigates the challenges of unmet expectations and life not going according to plan. Broadcasting from his truck, Bryan shares personal insights and experiences from the past few years, discussing the hurdles he has faced in his coaching business and the lessons learned along the way. He candidly explores the concept of success, the struggle with imposter syndrome, and the importance of redefining goals and expectations when life throws curveballs.Bryan emphasizes the significance of personal growth and self-improvement as foundational steps toward achieving better relationships, particularly with one's spouse. He shares his vision for helping men become better partners and the obstacles he has encountered in his coaching journey. Despite the setbacks, Bryan remains committed to his mission, offering free coaching sessions and continuing to produce content that aims to inspire and support men in their personal development. Join Bryan as he delves into the realities of pursuing dreams, the power of mindset, and the resilience required to keep moving forward when life doesn't go as planned.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the complex relationship between physical intimacy and emotional connection. Host Bryan Goodwin shares his personal experiences and insights on how different types of intimacy, including physical, emotional, and intellectual, play a crucial role in strengthening relationships. Bryan candidly discusses the challenges he faced in his own marriage, from dealing with a lack of sexual intimacy to navigating the roommate syndrome, where partners drift apart emotionally and physically.Bryan emphasizes the importance of intentionality in relationships, urging listeners to actively work on building various forms of intimacy with their partners. He shares how spending quality time together, engaging in open communication, and being present can enhance emotional and physical connections. The episode also touches on the societal expectations around sex and intimacy, and how these can impact men's perceptions of their self-worth.Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own relationships and consider how they can be more intentional in fostering intimacy with their partners. Bryan offers practical advice and coaching opportunities for those seeking to improve their relationships and find fulfillment in their marriages.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the complex world of expectations and how they shape our reactions and relationships. Host Bryan Goodwin shares personal insights from his recent experiences with unrealized expectations, particularly in the context of a social media workshop that didn't meet his expectations. He discusses the common pitfalls of unvoiced expectations and covert contracts, especially in personal relationships, and how they can lead to frustration and resentment.Bryan recounts his journey through a social media masterclass, where he anticipated gaining valuable insights but instead encountered a sales pitch that left him feeling shortchanged. This experience led him to reflect on the importance of managing expectations and the role they play in our emotional responses.Throughout the episode, Bryan emphasizes the significance of understanding and articulating our expectations, both to ourselves and others, to avoid unnecessary disappointment. He also highlights the value of thought downloads as a tool for examining our thoughts and expectations.Listeners are encouraged to explore their own expectations and consider how they might be impacting their relationships and personal growth. Bryan offers a free month of coaching to help men navigate these challenges and improve their relationships with themselves and others.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we have a special guest, Todd, who is one of my clients. Todd is a father, husband, and coworker who has faced relationship challenges that many men encounter, whether at home or work. This episode provides a unique opportunity to experience firsthand how coaching with me can transform relationships from feeling like roommates to ones you can truly enjoy.We delve into Todd's journey, discussing the struggles he faced in his marriage, particularly financial disagreements with his wife. We also discuss how coaching helped him shift his perspective and improve their relationship. Todd shares how he learned to approach his wife with care and understanding, which led to positive changes in their dynamic.We also explore Todd's challenges at work, dealing with a coworker who has a different approach to leadership. Todd opens up about his frustrations with the lack of direction and how it impacts the team's performance. Through our conversation, we discuss effective communication styles, the importance of assertiveness, and how to lead a team by providing the necessary resources and support.This episode helps people see the practical aspects of coaching, showing how intentional thoughts and actions can lead to significant improvements in both personal and professional relationships. Join us as we uncover the tools and strategies that can help you navigate your own challenges and enhance your relationships.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we dive into the topic of getting unstuck and moving forward in life, especially after significant life changes like a divorce. Host Bryan Goodwin, a certified coach, addresses the common feelings of stagnation and fear that can keep us from pursuing new adventures and living life on our own terms. We explore the importance of introspection and identifying the thoughts that hold us back, and Bryan provides actionable steps to overcome these barriers.We also tackle the question of the month: "What do I do if I've been stuck after my divorce?" Bryan offers insights into breaking free from a rut, finding new friends, starting a new business, and embarking on a new journey. He emphasizes the importance of working on the four pillars of a man's life: mind, body, soul, and community. By focusing on continuous learning, physical fitness, finding one's purpose, and building a supportive community, men can transform their lives.Throughout the episode, Bryan encourages listeners to embrace failure as a part of growth and to take courageous steps toward their goals. He also highlights the value of having a strong community of friends who can support and uplift each other. Whether you're looking to start a new business, find new love, or simply live a more fulfilling life, this episode offers practical advice and motivation to help you get started.If you resonate with any part of this episode or know someone who might benefit from it, Bryan encourages you to share it with others. He also invites listeners to reach out for coaching and support, offering a month of free coaching to help you get unstuck and move forward with confidence.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the intriguing topic of how we often use our limitations as badges of honor. Host Bryan Goodwin explores why society tends to celebrate limitations and how this mindset can actually reinforce these constraints rather than liberate us from them. Brian discusses the phenomenon of labeling oneself with terms like ADHD, neurodivergent, or introvert, and how these labels can become self-fulfilling prophecies that hinder personal growth.Bryan emphasizes the power of the mind as a "do not get killed" device that can be programmed to see the world in a certain way. He illustrates this with the "green car syndrome," where our brains start noticing things we focus on, reinforcing our beliefs. The episode challenges listeners to reconsider the limitations they claim and to stop celebrating them as they can become obstacles to success.Through personal anecdotes and insights, Bryan encourages listeners to change their self-talk and programming. He suggests that by altering the narrative we tell ourselves, we can overcome perceived limitations and achieve greater success. The episode also touches on the societal tendency to label emotions and behaviors, often leading to unnecessary medication and avoidance of personal growth.Bryan invites listeners to reflect on their own limitations and consider how they might be holding themselves back. He offers practical advice on how to shift perspectives and embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to share the podcast with others and to participate in a survey to help improve the show.

In this week's episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the common struggles men face when trying to improve their relationships, particularly with their wives. Host Bryan Goodwin, a certified coach, explores the barriers that hold men back from living the fulfilling life they desire. He discusses the motivational triad that keeps us in our comfort zones, the fear of failure, rejection, and even success, and how these fears prevent us from taking necessary actions.Bryan shares his personal experiences and insights on why New Year's resolutions often fail by February, and how we can overcome the inertia that keeps us from pursuing our goals. He emphasizes the importance of stepping out of our comfort zones, embracing discomfort as a currency for the life we want, and taking intentional actions towards our goals.The episode also touches on the concept of indulgent emotions like worry and confusion, and how they can lead to mental spin, preventing us from making progress. Brian encourages listeners to confront their self-doubt, and past thinking, and to take actionable steps towards their objectives, whether it's improving their marriage or achieving personal success.Listeners are invited to try a free month of coaching to help them break through their barriers and start living intentionally. Bryan offers practical advice on how to take the first steps toward change, emphasizing the need to write down goals and take action despite fear and discomfort.Links - Try Coaching - https://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoachingTake the Survey - https://www.relaxedmale.com/survey

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Brian Goodwin delves into the complexities of maintaining individual identities within a marriage. Using the biblical reference of two becoming one, Brian explores how couples can balance unity with independence. He discusses the common pitfall of losing oneself in a relationship by trying to appease a partner, leading to codependency. Brian emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself and the detrimental effects of relying on a partner for affirmation and emotional well-being.Brian introduces the concept of differentiated relationships, where both partners maintain their individuality while working together as a team. He outlines four key skills necessary for such relationships: emotional independence, self-regulation, setting healthy boundaries, and conflict resolution. Brian shares insights on how to develop these skills and the benefits they bring to a marriage.Throughout the episode, Brian provides practical advice for men to stop being "nice guys" who avoid conflict and instead embrace healthy disagreements. He encourages listeners to engage in open communication with their partners, allowing for personal growth and stronger relationships. By fostering a differentiated relationship, couples can enjoy a more fulfilling and harmonious life together.Try Coaching - https://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoachingTake the Survey - https://www.relaxedmale.com/survey

In this week's episode of The Relaxed Male, we're doing something a bit different by diving into an email from a listener. I, Brian Goodwin, your host, start with an apology for not responding to emails due to a technical oversight. I acknowledge the missed opportunities to connect with listeners and answer their questions. Moving forward, I commit to addressing one listener question per month on the show.We also discuss the renewed interest in the Brotherhood of Men group coaching package. Despite initial hesitation, I've decided to offer this group coaching opportunity, especially to those who have shown interest, at a discounted rate.The main focus of this episode is a listener's email about gaining respect as a recovering addict. We explore the challenges of rebuilding trust and respect in relationships, particularly after addiction. I share insights on how addiction is often a coping mechanism gone awry and emphasize the importance of taking responsibility for one's actions.We delve into strategies for rebuilding trust, such as being transparent and open with loved ones, and the importance of self-improvement. I encourage listeners to focus on personal growth through reading, exercising, and finding purpose, which can help in regaining respect and trust from others.Finally, I invite listeners to send in their questions and feedback to help improve the show and announce the upcoming launch of the Brotherhood of Men group coaching.

In this episode of Relaxed Male, your host Bryan Goodwin dives deep into the intricacies of personal responsibility and self-awareness in relationships. Bryan discusses how men often become their own worst enemies by repeating the same actions and expecting different results. He emphasizes the importance of taking control of one's thoughts and actions to improve personal circumstances and relationships.Bryan shares his personal journey of overcoming frustration and blame, highlighting how men tend to point fingers at others, especially their partners, for their problems. He explains how this mindset invites unnecessary suffering and prevents men from living life on their own terms.The episode explores the concept of "the model," which suggests that our thoughts create our emotions, and how understanding this can lead to better relationship dynamics. Bryan encourages listeners to examine what they make circumstances mean about themselves and to challenge the thoughts that lead to negative emotions.Bryan also discusses the "97% rule," advising men to hold back from saying most of the impulsive things that come to mind, and instead focus on building connection and intimacy with their partners. He stresses the importance of understanding and communication in relationships, urging men to listen to their partners and create circumstances that foster love and intimacy.Throughout the episode, Bryan offers insights into how men can stop punishing themselves and their partners by giving up their "manuals"—the set of expectations they have for others—and instead focus on what they can control: their own thoughts and actions. He invites listeners to explore coaching as a tool for personal growth and better relationships.In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Brian Goodwin delves into the common pitfalls men face in relationships, particularly the tendency to blame others for personal problems. Brian shares insights on how men can take control of their relationship issues by understanding that the root of many problems lies within their own thoughts and actions. He emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and intentional living, urging listeners to examine the meaning they attach to circumstances and how these interpretations affect their emotions and relationships.Brian discusses the "model" concept, which explains how circumstances trigger thoughts, leading to emotions and actions. He highlights the significance of recognizing and changing negative thought patterns to improve personal and relational well-being. Through personal anecdotes and relatable examples, Brian illustrates how misplaced blame and lack of communication can lead to unnecessary suffering and relationship breakdowns.The episode also covers the "97% rule," encouraging men to refrain from saying most of the negative thoughts they might have, and the concept of "manuals," which are unspoken expectations we have for others. Brian advocates for letting go of these manuals to foster healthier relationships.Listeners are invited to explore coaching as a means to gain clarity and improve their relationships, with Brian offering a free coaching session to help men step out of their comfort zones and embrace personal growth.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin delves into the common feeling of being stuck in life and how to overcome it. Bryan discusses the emotional and psychological aspects of feeling stuck, often referred to as mental spin or confusion, and explains how these feelings are rooted in fear and uncertainty. He shares personal experiences of feeling stuck in his own business endeavors and emphasizes the importance of understanding these emotions to move forward.Bryan outlines the concept of indulgent emotions and how they keep us in our comfort zones, preventing growth and progress. He encourages listeners to confront their fears and take intentional actions to break free from the cycle of feeling stuck. By examining our thoughts and emotions, we can identify what holds us back and find motivation to push through the discomfort.The episode also highlights practical steps to overcome the feeling of being stuck, such as conducting thought downloads, setting intentional goals, and finding alternative motivations. Bryan suggests finding accountability partners or seeking coaching to stay committed to personal growth. He emphasizes the importance of living life intentionally and embracing challenges to achieve fulfillment and success.Join Bryan as he provides insights and strategies to help men live life on their terms, overcome obstacles, and build better relationships. Tune in next week as he explores the excuses we make for our struggles and how to address them.Try Coaching - htttps://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoaching

Welcome to the first episode of 2025 on The Relaxed Male! As we step into the new year, it's crucial to reflect on the past year and learn from our experiences. In this episode, I, your host Brian Goodwin, delve into the importance of reviewing the past year to fuel your progress in the new one. We discuss how acknowledging your achievements and setbacks can empower you to move closer to your goals.Reflecting on my own journey with Relaxed Male, I share the ups and downs of 2024, including the challenges and lessons learned. Despite facing obstacles, I remain committed to helping men break free from societal expectations and live life on their terms. This year, I aim to continue growing the Relaxed Male community and refine our message to attract more men seeking to improve their lives.We explore the concept of the four pillars of a "raw ex man"—mind, body, soul, and community—and how strengthening these can lead to a fulfilling life. I also share my personal goals for 2025, including health improvements, expanding my coaching practice, and enhancing my marriage.Join me as we discuss practical steps to achieve your goals, such as setting SMART goals, journaling, and creating vision boards. I encourage you to take action, whether it's by seeking coaching, joining a supportive community, or simply starting with small, consistent steps.Let's make 2025 a year of growth and empowerment. If this episode resonates with you, please share it with others who might benefit from it. Together, we can help more men become the best versions of themselves.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of grace and how it can transform your life in the coming year. As the holiday season wraps up, many of us reflect on family gatherings and the challenges they bring. Host Bryan Goodwin encourages listeners to consider a different approach for 2025 by allowing grace to flow into their lives. Grace, defined as unearned forgiveness, is explored as a powerful tool for improving mental health and personal freedom.Bryan discusses the importance of forgiving others, even those who have hurt us deeply, and how this act of grace can liberate us from the burdens of resentment and grudges. He emphasizes that true grace comes from a place of strength, not weakness, and challenges listeners to forgive not only others but also themselves for past mistakes and failures.The episode encourages men to step out of their comfort zones, embrace forgiveness, and set goals for the new year. Bryan introduces the upcoming "Storm Masters Challenge," a program designed to help men harness their inner strength and navigate life's challenges with grace and resilience.Join Bryan as he guides you through the process of letting go of past grievances, embracing grace, and preparing for a transformative year ahead. Whether it's forgiving a combative uncle or letting go of self-imposed grudges, this episode offers valuable insights into living a life free from the constraints of resentment.

As the holiday season approaches, it's the perfect time to reflect on the past year and prepare for the new one. In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the importance of reviewing our lives and setting goals for 2025. Host Bryan Goodwin, a certified coach, guides us through the process of self-examination and goal setting, emphasizing the significance of the four pillars of a relaxed male: mind, body, soul, and community.Bryan shares his personal journey with Relaxed Male, discussing the challenges and successes he's faced over the past seven years. He highlights the importance of setting realistic goals and celebrating achievements, no matter how small. By conducting an after-action review, we can learn from our successes and failures, paving the way for personal growth.The episode also explores the significance of having a strong community and the role it plays in personal development. Brian encourages listeners to focus on building relationships and expanding their network, as these connections can greatly influence our success and happiness.Looking ahead to 2025, Brian shares his goals, including losing 50 pounds, attending a conference, and making new contacts. He emphasizes the importance of having a clear vision and the determination to achieve it, while also being prepared for challenges along the way.Join Bryan as he offers insights and practical advice on how to make the upcoming year a successful and fulfilling one, by focusing on personal growth and building a supportive community.https://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoaching

The podcast focuses on the concept of taking one's wife off a metaphorical pedestal in a relationship. The host, Bryan, discusses how men often idealize their wives, creating an unrealistic and ultimately harmful dynamic in their marriages.Bryan explains that when men place their wives on a pedestal, they create an impossible standard of perfection. This idealization actually prevents genuine connection and love. By elevating their wives to an unreachable status, men inadvertently create distance and pressure that makes it difficult for their wives to be themselves.The host, identifying as a recovering "nice guy," shares insights into how this pedestal mentality stems from feelings of unworthiness. Men often believe they don't deserve their wife's love, so they compensate by worshipping her. However, this approach backfires. It makes the wife uncomfortable and creates an unsustainable relationship dynamic where she feels constant pressure to maintain an impossible image.Bryan emphasizes that wives are human beings with complex emotions and changing states. They go through various phases - sometimes feeling sexy and energetic, other times tired and overwhelmed, especially during different life stages like parenthood. When men expect their wives to maintain a constant, idealized state, they set themselves up for disappointment and resentment.The key to a healthy relationship, according to Bryan, is accepting your wife's full humanity. This means allowing her to experience and express her emotions without trying to fix or judge them. It means being comfortable with her changing appearance, mood, and priorities. By removing her from the pedestal and treating her as an equal partner, men actually create space for deeper love and connection.Bryan also addresses the challenge this presents for men, who are naturally inclined to solve problems and take action. He advises listeners to resist the urge to immediately fix their wife's emotions and instead simply be present and accepting.Towards the end of the podcast, Bryan promotes an upcoming workshop called "Storm Master" aimed at helping men improve their relationships by understanding and managing their internal emotional landscape. He encourages listeners to share the podcast with others who might benefit from its insights about relationship dynamics and personal growth.The overall message is profound in its simplicity: true love means accepting your partner completely, without conditions or unrealistic expectations, and allowing them the freedom to be fully human.

This week on The Relaxed Male, we have a special guest, Dawn Wiggins, host of the podcast Dear Divorce Diaries. We dive deep into the world of marriage counseling and explore what couples can expect from therapy. Dawn shares insights on how to navigate the painful journey of divorce and offers strategies to prevent it by fostering healthier relationships.We discuss the concept of conflict avoidance, a common issue many men face, and how it impacts relationships. Dawn explains the importance of emotional processing and the dangers of becoming "comfortably numb" through distractions like work, screens, and substances. We explore how men can step into conflict constructively and create relationships worth fighting for.Dawn shares her experiences with homeopathy and its impact on emotional well-being, offering a fresh perspective on alternative medicine. We also touch on the importance of grounding oneself in a belief system and how it can provide stability during conflicts.Throughout the episode, we emphasize the significance of self-acceptance and understanding repetitive patterns in relationships. Dawn provides practical advice for men to improve their connections with their partners by observing and addressing deeper issues.Join us for an enlightening conversation that challenges traditional views on masculinity and offers actionable steps for personal growth and relationship improvement.Information on Our GuestDawn Wiggins TherapyShe specializes in EMDR, Tapping, Marriage therapy, and psychotherapy. With her offices based in Florida, she does in-person and online sessions. Dawn also is a divorce coach helping women learn to process their thoughts and emotions so that they are able to grow from their experience.Divorce Coaching - https://mycoachdawn.com/Dawn's Therapy Website - https://www.dawnwigginstherapy.com/Podcast: Dear Divorce Diary- https://mycoachdawn.com/divorce-podcast/Dawns Social MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/MyCoachDawnX - https://x.com/dawn_wigginsInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/dawnwiggins/Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@DawnWigginsLMFTBocaRatonThreads - https://www.threads.net/@dawnwiggins

In this final episode of our series on intimacy, we delve into the realm of physical intimacy. Over the past ten weeks, we've explored various forms of intimacy, including emotional, intellectual, spiritual, experiential, social, creative, conflict, aesthetic, and work. Today, we focus on the nuances of physical intimacy, a topic that often garners significant attention and curiosity.Physical intimacy is more than just the act of sex; it encompasses a range of interactions, from holding hands to sharing a hug. These gestures release chemicals like oxytocin, fostering a sense of connection and bonding. We discuss how societal norms can sometimes hinder men from expressing their emotions, which are crucial for building emotional intimacy with their partners.We also touch on the importance of conflict intimacy, which allows couples to engage in healthy disagreements and grow stronger together. This episode emphasizes that physical intimacy is deeply intertwined with other forms of intimacy, and improving these areas can enhance one's overall relationship.For those seeking to deepen their understanding and practice of intimacy, I offer insights into how to work on emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connections. By focusing on these areas, physical intimacy will naturally follow, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced relationship.Join me as we wrap up this enlightening series and prepare for next week's episode featuring a special guest, Don Wiggins.

What is Work initiative?In this week's episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of work intimacy, a lesser-known but vital form of intimacy that influences our relationships both at home and in the workplace. Host Brian Goodwin explores how work intimacy fits into the broader spectrum of intimacy types, including emotional, intellectual, and experiential intimacy. He discusses the importance of effective communication and collaboration with our partners and colleagues, emphasizing how these interactions can strengthen our bonds and lead to personal growth.Brian shares personal anecdotes about the challenges and rewards of working closely with a spouse, highlighting the need for presence and understanding in shared projects. He explains how work intimacy is not just about professional relationships but also about how we share our work experiences and problem-solving processes with our partners. This episode encourages listeners to embrace discomfort as a path to achieving deeper connections and a more fulfilling life.Listeners are invited to reflect on their own work intimacy and consider how it impacts their overall relationship health. Brian also offers a preview of next week's episode, which will focus on physical intimacy, and extends an invitation to try a free coaching session to explore personal challenges further.LinksMini Coaching Session - https://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoachingPodcast 2.0 app - https://www.relaxedmale.com/newapps

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of aesthetic intimacy, exploring how aesthetics and intimacy intertwine in our lives. As part of a series on different types of intimacy, We discuss the importance of sharing beautiful experiences with loved ones, particularly spouses, to strengthen relationships. Aesthetic intimacy is about appreciating the beauty around us, whether it's a sunset, a piece of art, or a simple walk with a partner, and how these shared moments can enhance our connections.Bryan shares personal anecdotes, such as visiting Sunset Cliffs with his family and dog, to illustrate how aesthetic experiences can bond people together. He emphasizes the significance of being intentional in recognizing beauty in everyday life and how this can prevent relationships from becoming mundane.The episode also touches on the broader spectrum of intimacy, including physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual, and how aesthetic intimacy fits into this framework. Bryan argues that aesthetic intimacy is a subset of experiential intimacy, highlighting the need for both beauty and ugliness to appreciate life fully.Listeners are encouraged to engage in aesthetic experiences with their partners, to "stop and smell the roses," and to embrace both the beautiful and challenging aspects of life. Bryan also introduces a 4-week challenge starting January 1st, aimed at helping men calm their inner disturbances and improve their relationships.

In this week's episode, we delve into the concept of conflict intimacy, a crucial yet often overlooked aspect of relationships. Drawing inspiration from an article on Choose Therapy, we explore the ten different types of intimacy, focusing particularly on conflict intimacy and its significance in maintaining a healthy relationship.Conflict intimacy, as discussed, is the ability to engage in and resolve conflicts constructively. It is essential for preventing relationships from becoming stagnant and for avoiding the "roommate syndrome." We revisit the various types of intimacy, including emotional, intellectual, spiritual, experiential, social, and creative, and discuss how conflict intimacy intertwines with these aspects.We explore why many people, especially men, avoid conflict due to fears of emotional upheaval and potential negative outcomes, such as impacting sexual relationships. However, embracing conflict can lead to deeper understanding and connection, as it involves sharing emotions, thoughts, and experiences.Drawing insights from experts like Dr. John Gottman and Jason Gaddis, we highlight the importance of conflict in fostering a thriving relationship. We discuss how discomfort is a necessary currency for achieving desired outcomes and how conflict can lead to personal growth and stronger bonds.Listeners are encouraged to embrace conflict as a means of enhancing intimacy and communication with their partners. By understanding and practicing effective conflict resolution, couples can transform their relationships, creating a more fulfilling and connected partnership.

We are exploring the world of Creative Intimacy todayIn this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of creative intimacy, one of the ten types of intimacy outlined by Choose Therapy. As we explore whether creative intimacy is a legitimate form of intimacy, I share my personal insights and invite listeners to form their own opinions.Creative intimacy involves the ability to collaborate with your partner on creative projects, such as making music, writing, or crafting. It requires a shared vision and the willingness to navigate differences in approach and opinion. This process can strengthen your relationship by fostering communication and compromise.Throughout the episode, I discuss the various types of intimacy, including physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, experiential, social, conflict, aesthetic, and work intimacy. Each type offers a unique way to connect with your partner, and creative intimacy is no exception.While some may argue that creative intimacy is simply an extension of experiential intimacy, I believe it offers its own distinct challenges and rewards. By engaging in creative projects, couples can learn more about themselves and each other, ultimately enhancing their bond.Join me as we unpack the nuances of creative intimacy and consider its role in building stronger relationships. Whether you're sculpting a clay bust or writing a book together, the creative process can be a powerful tool for connection.

Host BrYan Goodwin, a certified coach, explores the ten different types of intimacy, focusing this week on social intimacy. He explains how social intimacy is essentially the connections we form with others, whether they are long-term relationships or brief interactions with acquaintances like a barista. Brian emphasizes the importance of maintaining these connections as we age, noting that societal changes and personal anxieties often hinder our ability to nurture friendships.BrYan discusses the challenges men face in forming and maintaining friendships, highlighting the societal pressures and personal fears that often lead to loneliness. He stresses the importance of having a strong community pillar, referencing Jim Rohn's idea that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. By intentionally building a network of supportive friends, men can improve their mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.The episode also touches on the significance of social intimacy within marriages. BrYan explains how couples often neglect this aspect of their relationship, leading to a lack of connection and intimacy over time. He offers practical advice on how to rekindle social intimacy with a partner, emphasizing the importance of communication and understanding.Throughout the episode, BrYan encourages listeners to step out of their comfort zones and actively work on building and maintaining friendships. He provides actionable steps for improving social intimacy, both in friendships and romantic relationships, and offers coaching support for those seeking to enhance their personal connections.LinksNew Podcast 2.0 Apps - https://www.newpodcastapps.comCoaching - https://wwww.relaxedmale.com/lovebirds

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of experiential intimacy, a crucial yet often overlooked aspect of relationships. Experiential intimacy involves sharing and bonding over life experiences with your partner, which can significantly strengthen your relationship. We explore why these shared experiences are vital and how they act as the cement that holds relationships together.Drawing inspiration from a Choose Therapy post on the ten types of intimacy, we focus on experiential intimacy and its importance in creating lasting bonds. We discuss how shared experiences, whether mundane or exciting, can enhance your connection with your spouse. From visiting museums to going on adventures, these activities can help maintain the bond that might weaken over time if not nurtured.We also provide practical tips on how to cultivate experiential intimacy. Whether it's going on a new adventure, trying out a couple's retreat, or simply volunteering together, these activities can bring you closer to your partner. Even individual trips can contribute to this intimacy by providing new stories and experiences to share.Join us as we explore the significance of experiential intimacy and how it can transform your relationship, helping you live life intentionally with your partner. Tune in to learn more about how to strengthen your relationship through shared experiences.LINKSQuestions that will Spark a conversation - https://www.relaxedmale.com/askquestionsIf you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step - https://www.relaxedmale.com/lovebirds 

In this week's episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the concept of spiritual intimacy, continuing our exploration of the ten different types of intimacy as outlined by Choose Therapy. Having previously discussed emotional and intellectual intimacy, we now turn our attention to understanding each other's spiritual journeys. This episode challenges the notion of being spiritual without being religious and explores how spiritual beliefs can impact relationships.Host Bryan Goodwin shares his personal insights and struggles with the topic, emphasizing the importance of discussing spiritual beliefs with your partner. He highlights how spiritual intimacy can strengthen a relationship, even when partners have differing beliefs. Through personal anecdotes and thoughtful reflections, Brian encourages listeners to engage in open conversations about spirituality, respect differing beliefs, and find common ground.The episode also touches on the significance of traditions and rituals in fostering spiritual intimacy, offering practical advice on how to honor and serve each other in a spiritual sense. Bryan underscores the value of curiosity and understanding in building stronger connections, not just with partners, but with family and community as well.Listeners are invited to reflect on their own spiritual journeys and consider how they can enhance their spiritual intimacy with loved ones. Bryan offers coaching services for those seeking to improve their relationships and invites listeners to connect with him for further guidance.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin delves into the concept of intellectual intimacy, exploring its significance in relationships. Building on last week's discussion on emotional intimacy, Bryan questions whether intellectual intimacy is a genuine form of connection or simply a modern construct. He shares insights from various sources, including a book on the pillars of marriage and a website listing ten types of intimacy, to understand this concept better.Bryan explains that intellectual intimacy involves respecting and valuing each other's thoughts and insights. He emphasizes that this form of intimacy is often the first to diminish in relationships, leading to internal arguments and a lack of respect for a partner's ideas. Brian encourages listeners to stop these mental debates and instead engage in open discussions with their partners, allowing for a deeper understanding and appreciation of each other's perspectives.The episode highlights the importance of intellectual intimacy in fostering curiosity, enhancing communication, and building a richer, more fulfilling relationship. Brian offers practical advice on how to cultivate this intimacy, such as engaging in discussions, asking questions, and learning something new together. He also provides a resource with 800 questions to help couples explore each other's thoughts and beliefs.Bryan concludes by inviting listeners to share their thoughts on improving relationships and encourages them to reach out with questions or comments. He also asks for feedback on what listeners would like to know to enhance their relationships, aiming to tailor future content to their needs.Help me by answering questionhttps://www.relaxedmale.com/helpme

In this week's episode of The Relaxed Male, host Bryan Goodwin delves into the complex world of emotional intimacy. Bryan, a certified men's coach, shares his journey of understanding intimacy better to help men improve their relationships. He introduces the concept of emotional intimacy, distinguishing it from physical intimacy, and explains its importance in a healthy marriage. Bryan discusses the various types of intimacy, including intellectual, spiritual, experiential, social, creative, conflict, aesthetic, and work intimacy, and announces a 10-week series to explore each type in detail.Bryan emphasizes the significance of emotional intimacy in marriage, describing it as the ability to express feelings, both positive and negative, and to receive them with understanding. He challenges the notion of emotional validation, arguing that individuals must understand and express their own emotions rather than seeking validation from others. Brian shares personal anecdotes and insights, highlighting the common struggles men face in achieving emotional intimacy and offering practical advice on how to overcome these challenges.Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own relationships and consider how they can improve their emotional intimacy with their partners. Bryan invites feedback and comments from the audience, fostering a community of men striving for better relationships and personal growth. Join Brian on this enlightening journey to discover the depths of emotional intimacy and its impact on your marriage.Show notes- https://www.relaxedmale.com/what-in-the-world-is-emotional-intimacy/Dont forget to help me see what I may have forgot and tell me what you would like to know that would help your relationship.https://www.relaxedmale.com/helpme

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve deep into the complexities of conflict, particularly in relationships, where disagreements often escalate into more significant issues. I emphasize the importance of addressing these conflicts rather than avoiding them, as avoiding uncomfortable discussions can lead to resentment and unresolved feelings. I explain that conflict itself is not inherently negative but rather an opportunity for growth and understanding if handled correctly.As a certified men's coach, my mission is to help men escape the cycle of being a "nice guy," which often leads to self-sacrifice and relationship struggles. I focus on how men can learn to express their emotions constructively instead of resorting to avoidance or silence. Understanding that emotions are simply vibrations within the body can empower individuals to engage more genuinely with their partners.Throughout the episode, I outline what constitutes conflict, explaining that it often stems from differing thoughts about a shared experience – like a movie that one person loved and the other despised. Recognizing that these differing opinions are neutral circumstances until we assign meaning to them can shift the way we approach disagreements. I encourage listeners to be mindful of their thoughts during conflicts, as these thoughts shape the emotions we experience, which in turn dictate our actions and reactions.I highlight various conflict responses, including avoidance and anxiety, emphasizing the need for intention and awareness in navigating disagreements. By reframing our approach to conflict, we can allow our emotional minds to pause, think rationally, and respond appropriately. I introduce the concept of the "model," which illustrates that our feelings stem from our thoughts, not the actions of others, allowing men to take ownership of their emotional journeys.Additionally, I discuss the importance of understanding our spouses' perspectives during conflicts. I introduce the "four pillars of effective communication," derived from the teachings of Tony Overbay. These pillars stress the importance of not assuming ill intentions, recognizing emotions, seeking to understand before being understood, and avoiding victimhood in discussions. I explain that by adhering to these principles, men can navigate conversations more effectively, leading to healthy resolutions rather than destructive fights.The episode culminates in practical strategies for being present during conflicts. I advocate for being intentional about how we show up in our relationships, as well as the necessity for reflection after conflicts to analyze what went wrong or right. This self-awareness will lead to personal growth and improve interactions with our partners over time.For those who resonate with these insights and seek further guidance, I invite listeners to reach out for one-on-one coaching sessions aimed at fostering stronger, healthier relationships. Ultimately, the episode reinforces that conflict is a natural part of relationships, and how we handle it can either strengthen our bonds or create distance. As I wrap up, I encourage listeners to share their reflections and insights from this episode with friends or family, as the journey of becoming better partners is one worth sharing.

In episode 240 we dive deep into the common issue of 'roommate syndrome' in marriages. Bryan addresses the fading spark that many couples experience after years of being together. He explores whether it's possible to rekindle a marriage and offers practical steps to reignite the passion.Bryan discusses the importance of honesty—not just factual, but emotional honesty—and how to communicate effectively without overwhelming your partner. He emphasizes the need for thoughtful gestures, such as writing love letters and understanding your partner's love languages, to show that you care.Curiosity plays a crucial role in building a strong emotional connection. Bryan advises getting genuinely interested in your partner's likes and dislikes to foster better communication and intimacy. He also highlights the significance of paying attention to your thoughts, as they can shape your emotions and actions, ultimately affecting your relationship.Bryan shares personal anecdotes and practical tips, like the '6 by 6 rule' for hugs, to help couples reconnect physically and emotionally. He stresses the importance of intentional actions and continuous effort to maintain a fulfilling marriage.Whether you're dealing with minor disagreements or major conflicts, Bryan provides insights on how to navigate these challenges and come out stronger. Tune in to learn how to transform your marriage and live a life on your terms.

Marriage is an adventure. If you don’t look at it as such then you run the risk of falling into a deep pit much like I did with Pitfall Harry. Marriage is not easy and in the early days can be wrought with lots of emotions and struggles. This is why so many marriages fail before reaching the 10-year mark. You first struggle with the idiosyncracies of the girl you dated. You noticed odd things you at first thought were cute habits of her being weird but now you are questioning if you can put with it her till the end of time. Why is she complaining that you leave clothes on the floor while her makeup has invaded your bathroom sink?There is a lot to marriage for sure. The funny part is that finding out how to divi up the chores is the least of the problems. That is because eventually kids get introduced and your way of life, for a short bit, is upended by the demands of a little life that depends on you to stay alive. Old habits and sometimes dreams get shuffled and relegated to the back burner as you adjust fire.Then on top of all this, you have to try to remember that your wife is still your girlfriend. Yeah, you see her in all her glory of just waking up and with breath that bubbles the paint on the doorjamb. You see her in times of immense vulnerability and she sees you in times of when you aren’t the most romantic. Yeah, the random Dutch ovens are funny. There are those times when you and her cling together as you all try to support each other in uncertainty. You divide and conquer the changing of the bed right after your son says he doesn’t feel good and erupts half-digested food across your legs while you are readying yourself for bed.So how do you keep the marriage alive and connected? We have discussed ways to keep a marriage connected but what are some of the more common pitfalls that can drain a marriage of its life? What do you not want to do if you don’t want your marriage to fade and become another statistic? Here are 9 Pitfalls that will remove respect honor and trust from any marriage.The Victim MindsetIf you have listened to or read anything from this site, you know that victims receive no respect, and rightfully so. Yeah, that sounds harsh until you are trying to repeatedly pick up a victim. Then you realize that they will not take responsibility for their part in the current disaster they are in. The blame is always passed it is never their fault. It is one crisis after another. over and over again. The victim comes running wanting you to fix the problem, then pump their damaged ego up, and be thankful that they chose you to do the work.Now imagine if this was your spouse or worse it is you. You are supposed to be the head of the household and here you are passing the buck like you are the 5-year-old. The victim takes energy and vitality away from those around them. They don’t take action to keep the problem from happening again. They just stand there looking to blame someone for the fact that they arrived in the same predicament as before.The victim is a taker. They take the energy drive of their target. They throw away their own self-respect and expect everyone else to prop them up. Stay out of the victim mindset. all that does is send you to the bottom of the trash heap.StonewallingMany times our wife will say something to us that will hurt our feelings. Yes, your wife is very good at creating thoughts that will hurt your feelings. The choice that you have with this is how are you going to respond. Many times she will nag you. This nagging will create thoughts that you are failing at keeping your word or not being responsible. Those thoughts will create feelings of shame and your action will be to shut down and not say anything. That lack of talking is stonewalling. It works, you can just not interact with your wife. That lack of interaction gets her frustrated enough that she just stops nagging you and goes and does something else. Mission accomplished right? Is that action really getting you the results you truly want?Stonewalling will create frustration in your wife. She may start to believe that you don’t care about her. You do not want to connect with her anymore She will start to feel isolated and then her mind starts to run and that is where the emotions and thoughts can really cause some damage.Not communicating with your wife doesn’t fix anything. Yeah she was bugging you, but why go in the opposite direction of what you actually want? You claim you want to have a stronger relationship with your wife. So why push her away? You know how to alleviate the nagging that she does. Yes, you can do what she asks, but there is a better way. Talk with her. Have conversations with your wife. Not only in the intense times but also in the down times. Stonewalling keeps you away from her more than it keeps her away from you. Believing you can control another personWhen we are married we want to think that the relationship is going to be great. That is until our spouse does something that we fi

Many times we will inadvertantly elevate someone to a higher level of status than we wanted to. I had something happen here recently that caused me to realize that I had actually elevated a man to an unheard of level of integrity. Then when he showed me that he didn’t believe all that he stated. To say the least, I had thoughts that I was betrayed, and he had sold out to the Woke mind virus. I wanted to set my heels and almost punish him for violating, my standards, by keeping the proof that he was a hypocrite up on my site.Yet after a a couple of weeks of processing the thoughts, I saw the circumstance in a different light. Yet this showed that I was petty and I was way out of integrity too. I was out of integrity because I put a man on a pedestal and I was pissed off that he fell. I was mad that he wanted to change markets and he was afraid that those who are against masculinity wouldn’t buy from him, and he was right they wouldn’t. I could grant him compassion because of his scarcity mindset and understand that he was struggling like we all do in this challenging world we have today. So I took the episode down where I could. There are some places where the episode is up and it is out of my control. However, I have seen why took the circumstance as hard as I did and what did I learn from it.Nobody is perfect.We all have ideas and we often fall short of reaching them. The key is to get up and try again. Yes, we will fail over and over till we get to the point that we are satisfied with what we have done. Then we will make a turn and possibly go in a different direction. Some people will understand while others won’t.Be OK with that.We all have our reasons and they don’t have to make senseWhy did the gentleman change directions? Dont know and frankly, it’s none of my business. He has his reasons and I have no right to know why. I can make assumptions and they may be right, or they may be wrong. What they are, are thoughts. So to think you are being betrayed or hornswoggled is just you contributing to your own suffering.Let them have their own thoughts, and funny enough those thoughts don’t have to make sense to you because they aren’t your thoughts.Pedestals are dangerousI have talked many times about the danger of putting your girl on a pedestal. Why? It is not fair to her. She didn’t want to be up there, and it isn’t fair to how you react when she does eventually fall. The same goes for the men in your life.Are you showing up as you intendedThe question needs to be asked all the time. Especially as an after-action review. Do you want to show up as a caring man or a thuggish brute? The outcome is based on how you show up. If you want to be a person that people look to then you have to show up in a way that serves that thought. If you want to be the go-to guy for your children to get knowledge on then you don’t blow up and yell because they messed up your wall.This is the heart of living an intentional life. When you know you shed up the way you intended to you are more relaxed and at ease. You are happier and those around you follow that example.If I want to be seen as an example of how men can live their life getting angry and petty isn’t going to do me any favors.People have their own pathsPeople are going to take their own path. That path isn’t yours. We may want them to continue on the path they were on yet they don’t always travel in the same direction. So there are times when those relationships will diverge and they will end. There are times that we travel with great men and it does hurt when you see them fall, however, you can choose to curse them for betraying you or you can hope they have better journeys ahead as they continue without you by their side.We also have to swallow our pride a bit and to think that they need us is a cruel joke on us. The other people who have let us down don’t actually need us. We just happen to really like them.Hold to Your PrinciplesThis is who you are. What do you stand for? What philosophy do you base your life on? You need your principles and you turn to those every time you face a hard decision. If you do not have principles you will struggle to know where to turn. Principles are the guideposts for how you want to live. Do you want to live a life of honor? How about honesty? If you want those then you have to be the example of what that means. This also points to, if someone changes their principles, you have a choice to make. What does that new principle mean to you, may not mean the same thing to the other person so you have more choices to make.You see we are people and our emotions are beautiful and messy. We have thoughts that create the differing feelings that flow through us. We have to be on our toes at all times and see if we are being the men we want to be. If not then how do we change? How do we become the best? We become the best by working at it over and over again.If you want help in bettering your integrity and having the life you would like t

When we have topics of discussion with other people there are times that we may mess up and we start to say words that we don't mean and try to intentionally inflict pain upon the other person. We just are caught up in our emotions and trying to inflict pain on each other. When we are actively trying to destroy the trust and connection we have, the hope of having a better connection is gone. We fall into victim mindsets and fight because we see the conflict at hand being a matter of life or death. How do you stop the emotional destruction that is being inflicted on both parties? One way to do that is to have a do-over.When is it good to have a do-over?When you see that you are going into panic mode.You see that you have made a huge misstep and said something you instantly regret (ie 97% rule)When the participants are moving to their perspective corners for battle.When you see that the conflict of ramping up.Something was misunderstood and you have a better way to say it.What is a do-over?It is when you stop a discussion and ask to try againWhen you are having an argument or a normal discussion that is wearing into territory that is going to be a fight or you realize that you said something that isn't helping the situation at all. You stop the discussion and politely as if YOU can have a do-over.Why is a do-over good for a relationship?Shows you are trying to do better.You are attempting to better how you communicate. YOu are wanting to take responsibility for what you sayHow do you implement a do-over?The moment you realize that your discussion isn't going in the direction of having a better connection you have misstepped and want to try again you can stop the discussion and try once more. If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

Bryan recounts how he had been neglecting to mow his lawn in his small town. He previously had someone mowing it for him, but that arrangement fell through. The city eventually sent a notice about his overgrown lawn, and his wife was told it would cost $400 to have the city mow it. Bryan initially reacted with anger and fell into a victim mindset.As he reflects on the situation, Bryan realizes he is making excuses and playing the victim. He acknowledges that he hadn't been trying hard to find a replacement lawn service and recognizes that mowing the lawn himself could actually be beneficial for his health. He discusses how others in town were complaining about the situation, which leads him to contemplate why people feel the need to mow their lawns and societal expectations.The host then describes his shift in perspective, seeing the situation as an opportunity for physical activity and self-improvement. He plans to be more intentional with his time and make changes to his routine. Bryan emphasizes the importance of processing emotions and not staying in a negative mindset, encouraging listeners to step up to challenges rather than avoiding them.Relating the lawn mowing situation to broader relationship issues, Bryan stresses the importance of putting effort into relationships to keep them strong. He promotes a 3-month coaching program aimed at helping men improve their relationships.The episode concludes with Bryan encouraging listeners to share the podcast and avoid the victim mindset. He mentions upcoming live recordings and new ways to access the podcast. The overall message of the episode is about recognizing and overcoming the victim mindset, taking responsibility for one's actions, and using challenges as opportunities for personal growth and relationship improvement. If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

Why even have a stronger connection?Better conflict resolution - You will have conflicts and those conflicts can be making or breaking points for your relationship.More trust - When you both know you will not take everything said personally then the trust starts to form.More intimacy -Us guys do like our sexy timeBetter connectionsIt is not personal, it is just someone sharing what they are thinking with the other person. It isn't real it is just a thought. Thoughts aren't as scary as you would like to believe.It’s not life and death. It is just talking and at times with the volume turned up a bit.Stop managing the other person's emotions That destroys trustIt’s ok if they get upset it is their emotions that were created by their own thoughts.Understand that you and your spouse are just sharing thoughts. https://alchemy-of-love.com/expert-relationship-advice/how-to-communicate-relationshipAsk questions - How else are you going to learn about your wife?Stop trying to be vulnerable with her and just be present - She doesn't want your emotional weaknesses. She wants you to be strong for her and the kids.If she asks how you feel tell her, but don’t just throw it all at her for her to try to sort outHow do you have better connections?How you have better connections isn’t as easy as just doing it you have to work on your thoughts and get your thoughts and beliefs in order. Because if you don't then you will find yourself in a battle instead of having a discussion that will make your connections stronger. When you are able to have the hard uncomfortable discussions your wife will come to understand you better and you will understand her better too. Then the strength of the connection grows and the marriage that you have wanted from the beginning will start to appear. But it will never happen till you start working on yourself. That takes the next step. If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, host and certified men's coach Brian Goodwin delves into the character of Peter Keating from Ayn Rand's novel, The Fountainhead. Peter Keating epitomizes the 'nice guy' who struggles with self-identity and decision-making, always seeking approval from others rather than living life on his own terms. Brian discusses how Keating's actions and associations lead to his downfall, contrasting him with the novel's protagonist, Howard Roark, who remains steadfast in his ideals and vision.Brian explores the broader implications of Keating's character for men today, emphasizing the pitfalls of people-pleasing and the importance of living authentically. He draws parallels between Keating's career in architecture and the challenges men face in their personal and professional lives when they fail to assert their own ideas and values.The episode also touches on the dynamics between Keating and other characters, such as his manipulative mother, his genuine but ultimately neglected girlfriend Catherine Halsey, and his complex relationship with Dominique Francon. Brian uses these relationships to illustrate the consequences of not standing firm in one's beliefs and the impact it has on personal growth and success.Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own lives and consider whether they are living authentically or merely seeking approval from others. Brian offers practical advice and coaching opportunities for men who want to break free from the 'nice guy' syndrome and build more fulfilling relationships and careers. If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

Clues that your relationship is failingDreading going homeFighting over little stuffEntertaining the idea of divorceYou may be intentionally spending time apart.Little to no sexYou are blaming the other person for your unhappinessLack of TImeMarried for the wrong reasonsMaterial ItemsLooking to the pastEnding The RelationshipWhy you might end the relationshipWhen you have one or more of the three A’sThese are the key points that trust falls apart so much that it can destroy any chance of reconciliationAbuseAddictionAffairWhen there is no benefit to the relationship anymoreThere has been too much damageThe emotional tank is completely emptyNo communicationExpectations are too highMany times relationships run their course.Going down different life pathsLack of TImeMarried for the wrong reasonsMaterial ItemsLooking to the pastMarriage.comWhy do you hold onSo I want your relationship to end?For the other person's BenefitWhen Hold on to a relationship?You both are willing to work on the relationshipMoney isn't a reason for splitting up unless it is from the 3 A'slIf you believe your life will be better with another personIt wontLeaving to teach them a lessonIn this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the complex and often painful topic of when a relationship ends. Host Brian Goodwin, a certified men's coach, discusses the signs and reasons why relationships may come to an end and explores the critical moments when a relationship might need to end versus when it can be saved.  Brian emphasizes the importance of recognizing the warning signs that a relationship is in trouble, such as constant fighting over trivial matters, lack of communication, and the dreaded 'roommate syndrome.' He also highlights the significance of understanding one's own role in the relationship's dynamics and taking responsibility for personal actions.  The episode also covers the three major deal-breakers in a relationship: abuse, addictions, and affairs, and why these issues often lead to the end of a relationship. Brian provides insights into how to handle these situations and the importance of trust and communication in maintaining a healthy relationship.  Additionally, Brian discusses the importance of living life with intention and how intentional actions and thoughts can help in saving a relationship. He offers practical advice on how to rebuild a relationship by improving communication and understanding each other's needs.  Whether you're struggling in your current relationship or just want to understand more about the dynamics of relationships, this episode provides valuable insights and practical advice to help you navigate these challenging situations. If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

We go through emotions hourly. Those emotions correlate with the different thoughts that we have. It is said that we have around 60,000 thoughts a day. That means that we have around 60,000 emotions a day. Now incorporate the 50-50 principle and you have half of your thoughts are gonna be good thoughts because they generate good emotions and the other half are gonna be bad thoughts that generate bad emotions.Many many times we struggle with negative emotions. We avoid those negative emotions. We get angry or frustrated because we have a thought that we don’t wanna have and so we feel bad about that which causes us to have those negative emotions that pile onto other negative emotions, unlike algebra two negatives don’t make a positive.Because we avoid the negative emotions, we don’t allow those emotions to have their moment and because of that those emotions get stuffed down they get tucked away. This is where we get so many of our assorted problems cropping up. People who experience emotions, but don’t know how to handle those emotions. For instance, men who have decided they’re not supposed to cry, often take a lot longer to grieve the loss of a loved one. They don’t approach The problems from the same direction because they are too busy, avoiding feeling negative.So what are emotions? Why is it important to process those emotions? And how do you process those emotions? What are emotions?In a nutshell, emotions are vibrations that are felt throughout your body. Sometimes those vibrations are pleasant other times those vibrations are unpleasant. This is what makes a positive emotion and negative emotion; it’s just how they vibrate within your body.So you have a thought that generates a sensation that is felt through your body. This is why your thoughts create your emotions.Why is it important to process one’s Emotions?When you don’t process those emotions, you end up reacting to the emotions unintentionally. When you are processing the emotions, you’re experiencing the emotion you’re going through the emotional life cycle, which only lasts one to two minutes.Many people struggle with the reaction to how short emotions are because they don’t realize that they are in thought loops that extend the pain of that emotion.Yet when we process those emotions, we experience the emotion and then the emotion fades. Now, yes, that emotion may come back because we have that same thought again but the strength as to what that emotion is is nowhere near as powerful as it was the first time. And each time you process the motion, it becomes a little more easier to experience. It’ll never go away, and we wouldn’t want it to go away. Because our emotions are what make humans human.When do you Process emotions?You can process emotions anywhere. I often recommend people start learning how to process their emotions while in their living room sitting on the couch so they can put their full focus into what they are experiencing. That way you understand what thoughts you’re having that are creating the emotions you can describe the emotion and give the emotion a name.Yet the best time to process any emotion is when you realize you were feeling it. You feel sadness. It’s best to go ahead and process the motion then or first place where it’s safe to do so processing anger or fear when you notice that you’re feeling a bad emotion. Go through the process and experience that emotion. Let that emotion live its lifespan which is not long at all.How do you process an emotion?Processing emotions is very simple. You just have to be able to understand when you’re experiencing an emotion. Many times I will experience an emotion and not realize it. This is the reason why we buffer so much. We buffer because there’s an emotion that crops up that we don’t want to experience so we turn to drugs or alcohol or video games or Food or porn because we don’t want to experience some emotion. It might be the emotion of rejection or the emotion of boredom. These are two of the bigger reasons that we buffer. These are based out of fear, all others can be based on other emotions.To process an emotion and notice that it’s happening, the first thing to do is give it a name. Are you feeling sadness? Are you feeling bored? Are you feeling anger, jealousy, powerlessness? What is the emotion that you are feeling?Describe where you feel that emotion. Is it on your head? Is the sensation on top of your head? Is it felt on your shoulders or on top of your shoulders? Maybe behind your shoulders? Is the emotion felt down your back or between your shoulder blades? Maybe it is off to one side or is it in your chest? Is the emotion felt in your chest, or in your stomach? Maybe you are feeling the emotion in your knees or in your thighs? Where in your body are you feeling? The emotion the most? Where do you feel that Vibration is strongest? Then pretend that you’re able to hold that emotion in your hands. Now start describing that emotion physically. Does it feel heavy,

If you want to have a better relationship you have to improve yourself. How are you going to help inspire those around you to be better people if you aren’t willing to improve yourself? We all have the ability to influence those who are around us. Jim Rohn said it best. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So it stands to reason that those people will also have you as part of their average.When it comes to our relationships, being able to improve ourselves is crucial. Our relationships are important. However, their times when relationships come to an end or we do something that creates strive in that relationship. No relationship is perfect, but we can strive to get better with every interaction with other people.No matter if it is from a fight with your wife or you are going through the loss of a breakup. If you want the best out of the relationship and your life, you can’t just sit on your laurels. You have to be willing to work toward an ultimate goal. That goal could be a stronger relationship. A better means of communication. You may decide you want to have a more, secure connection with your spouse.How are you supposed to improve your relationship? Anytime our relationship gets a bit rocky, maybe we have some type of disagreement or other types of conflict, and our connection with that person breaks down. How do we repair that damage? Can we even repair that damage?The answer is yes, you can repair a relationship. You can make a relationship stronger. But it takes effort from you.Now you may wonder why I am putting all the weight on you instead of you and your spouse. That is because you can’t control your spouse. The only person you have control over is you. So how do you start having better connections with your spouse in particular And other people as a whole?Work on the basicsas with everything in life, if you have a breakdown of a system, the best thing to do is to go back to the basics. Get simple before you get complex. So for you being a guy wanting to have a better connection with your wife, the best place to start is with the four pillars of The Relaxed Male.Your 4 pillarsI have talked about the four pillars of The Relaxed Male many times. Because they are crucial for a well-balanced man in any scenario that he may face in today’s world. The basics of the four pillars allow you to become well-rounded and is a good foundation for you to start any self-improvement.Man's MindYou are nothing if you do not have your mind. This is why improving how you think. Improving how you approach your world is all based on what you know.Many men stop reading stop learning and stop growing shortly after they get out of college. They believe they know all that they need to know they’ve hated reading and have such a stigma on learning that they don’t have anything to do with picking up another book for a very long time.That is a huge detriment to us men. We need to be learning new skills. We need to keep our minds active. Whether that is through hobbies or whatever is currently troubling us your mind is the only way you’re going to grow as a person.Realizing when you’re doing stuff that is uncomfortable and being OK with that discomfort is needed almost as much as food. The price for your dreams and aspirations is the discomfort.So how do you learn new stuff? A lot of that is through Books. Reading about a topic you are interested in or a challenge you’re facing allows for you to get a better insight to what you want to accomplish. Do you get better results when you are willing to read and educate yourself?Besides books, there are plenty of other means of learning in today’s world. From Podcasts like the one you are listening to now to conferences to meetups the phrase where there’s a will, there’s a way is no more evident now than ever all you have to do is decide you want to learn. Man's BodyThe man’s body is your health. That old adage if you don’t have your health, you’ve got nothing into a lot of you being able to have that self-improvement that you’re wanting. If you want to have a stronger connection with your wife, nothing like getting in shape. If you want to have, the ability to show her you can’t protect her and your family from the bad guys. You have to be able to have endurance. You get endurance from exercise. Do you want to show your wife that you’re going to be around for the long haul? That is you get regular exercise and eat right.Man's SoulWhat is your calling? What is your purpose? These are often meant as the same thing for, what feeds your soul?  men need a purpose to get out of bed. Men who are listless, angry, lost don’t have a purpose, or they have lost their purpose. Yet we need these drivers to ensure that our lives will be fulfilled. Our lives often become empty when we don’t have a sense of purpose. Man's CommunityThis is the most important pillar that us men need to focus on. This is what allows us to work harder love deeper and have stronger conn

We all experience pain at one time or another. Pain can be a physical sensation from a Papercut or it could be from an emotion. The pain that I am talking about today is emotional pain. The feeling that we get from the emotions that we don’t like. Emotions, for instance, powerlessness, frustration, fear, uncertainty, insecurity, humiliation, lost, are often viewed as painful and are often avoided.These emotions and more similar to them are unpleasant to experience. Often when we feel these emotions, we want to hide from them. We want to buffer or indulge in some other activity than what we really need to be doing. It’s easier to avoid feeling these uncomfortable emotions. Nobody likes feeling lost or feeling anxious about something that they’ve never done before. Yet we’re always doing something new. We’re going to have to feel that anxiety if we want to get anything done.Many people want to know how to you get past the emotional pain in their life. The answer is simple, but the work is not easy.Life is 50% pain and 50% pleasure.Life incorporates the 50/50 principle. 50% of our life is going to be a pleasure. It’s gonna be great. Those emotions are gonna be wonderful. We’re gonna be on top of the world. As we feel these emotions we are gonna be happy and fulfilled. The other 50% of the time we’re going to be in some form of emotional pain. A lot of people don’t like the fact that there is so much pain in their life So much so that they actually would rather try to bargain the ratio to be 80% happiness and 20% pain. Sadly that just shows how much we resist the thought of our life not going perfectly.No matter how much you resist, you’re going to have pain. Then you add the fact that you’re using more energy to resist that pain which only amplifies the pain. Also, you’re doubling the experience because you worry about the pain. You can see how pain can be such a problem. If you don’t know how to manage that emotional pain it can become tremendous. you also see why so many people become overwhelmed simply because they resist and avoid the pain in their lives.So how do you handle the painful portions of life?The way you handle and manage the painful portions of your life is that you allow the pain to be experienced. That sounds scary. I get it. However when you allow the pain to be felt and you’re not resisting or avoiding it by buffering and feeling indulgent emotions. You realize that the pain that you’re avoiding is just a vibration. Granted that vibration may not feel the best but you’re not going to get swallowed by sorrow. You’re not gonna drown in self-pity. You’re just going to feel a slightly unpleasant vibration.Handling and processing emotions is a skill as with everything else that we do in life. But more so with emotions because so many of us are in emotional childhood. We believe emotions just hit us upside the head out of nowhere. That is a falsity because our thoughts create our emotions.The thought of how horrible the pain we might experience is the very reason why that pain is being avoided. Our worry and our fear are because of the thoughts we have about pain.With practice, we find processing our emotions to get easier each time, we realize what we are feeling. What we are feeling is just the result of a thought.Pain is what you make of itAs with everything that we avoid, the reason we avoid it is because of what we make that thought mean. We see sadness as nobody loves us. We see humiliation as potential death because we’re going to get thrown out of our village. We see a choice as limiting our opportunities instead of expanding the possibilities.Everything we have happened to us, we take that personally. A sideways glance in our general direction could mean somebody is interested in us or somebody is disgusted with us. Which one is it? I don’t know nor do you know. We just make an assumption.That sideways glance has as much power as the emotion that you’re avoiding in your life Why do we avoid pain?The reason we avoid pain is the very reason why we avoid stepping out in front of a bus. It’s not that we’re afraid of sudden death. We’re actually afraid that we’re going to live and have to deal with all the pain because of that bus meeting our body.Our brain has a hard time differentiating between physical pain and emotional pain to our survival part of the brain. It’s all the same thing if we do something that will get us ridiculed back when we were living in caves that might cause us to get kicked out of the cave. We might be exiled from our village if that happened. Would we be able to gather enough resources to survive? Back in prehistoric times, social approval was needed. We had to make sure we appeased the Chief. We didn’t want to step too far out of the norms because we may be viewed incorrectly.Pain doesn’t have to feel bad.As mentioned before pain is just the way that we classify some emotions emotions are just vibrations. They may be vibrations. We don’t want to feel yet with a 50/5

Any question leading to sex.Why We struggle with talking about sexIt requires you to be vulnerableWe take complaints personallyWe have biasesIsn't sex supposed to just happen and always be good?Or you can't have sex like that!Pushback is a threat to our beliefsWe make sex mean somethingWhy are these most intimate topics so difficult for us to talk about? Especially, when it is with the one person we are supposed to be able to openly and freely talk to.What is holding us back from asking about sex and talking openly?JudgedRejectionIt's not comfortable = EmbarrassingWe weren't taught to advocate for ourselvesShameWhat are the hardest questions to ask centered around sex?Some Questions you might want to ask?What did you learn about sex growing up and how did you learn?What would you like me to do?What do you not like for me to do?What do you wish I did more of?Where do you like to be touched, and where do you not like to be touched?When do you like to have sex?What allows you to feel the sexiest?What was your biggest surprise when you had sex?What was your biggest surprise when you had sex with me?Did you ever have an event that negatively impacted what you think of sex?The most challenging question isWould you like to have sex?SummaryThe episode focuses on the challenges men face in discussing sex and intimacy with their wives. The host, Bryan, acknowledges that sex is an important part of marriage for most men as a way to show love and feel loved by their spouse. However, many men struggle when their sex life declines or their wife no longer desires sex as frequently.Bryan outlines some of the main reasons why men have difficulty talking about sex:It requires being vulnerable, and men tend to take any criticism or complaints personally.People have biases and differing beliefs around certain sexual acts like oral sex, bondage, etc. which makes those topics awkward to discuss.There is shame and taboo around discussing sex from societal conditioning that sex is "dirty."Men were never taught to properly advocate for their wants/needs, especially something as intimate as sex.There is a fear of rejection, as men have likely been turned down for sex many times before in the relationship.The host suggests that rather than making assumptions or turning to pornography out of frustration, men need to have open conversations with their wives about sex. He provides example questions to help start the dialogue, such as asking about sexual experiences growing up, acts they would/wouldn't want to try, times of day they prefer sex, and if there are any past negative experiences impacting their sexuality.Ultimately, the most challenging part is simply asking "Would you like to have sex?" But Bryan encourages men to overcome the awkwardness and shame to advocate for their desire for intimacy and connection through sex. He offers his coaching services to help men improve their ability to discuss these topics with their wives. Take the Next Step and Get Coached - https://www.relaxedmale.com/coachingoffer If you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

So we have noticed that the lack of intentionality with our significant other has to change. To be able to change you have to know how you arrived in the circumstance you are in now. That is what we are going to be talking about this week. What actions did we take to break our connection?***Warning***Don't fall into the victim mindset here. You may want to say,"Well, she doesn't try either.""She started it""She is just cold""She never liked the marriage to start"or any other excuses. even if she said that to your face, your thoughts are what makes it true. So what was your part in this scenario? When you start being honest that you had a hand in your marriage's doldrums too, you start to see where your power is and you can fix it by changing yourself. Think of the law of reciprocity or the 100/0 principle.You are the leader of the house. Not the boss of the home but the leader and there is nuance as to how a good leader leads.So what did you do to send your loving sex-filled marriage into the frustrating mediocrity of roommate syndrome?Being a know-it-allHas your wife ever reminded you of something you need to do and you said, "I know"? Maybe you step all over her talking with your own thoughts and views? Many times when we are running on unintentional thoughts we will be Mr. Know-it-all. We are in a hurry to get our thoughts sent out before we forget them and we end up forgetting that we want to connect with our wife. So What do we do? Blurt out our thoughts and not show her the courtesy or respect that is needed for a good connected conversation.We don't have to expound all of our knowledge all at once. Our wife believes we can be awesome and smart. She is also awesome and smart so maybe hold back and if needed write the retort down so you can remember it.Try to fix itShe doesn't want you to fix the problem. She wants the opportunity to share her life with you. When she complains about the day she had she’s not wanting sympathy as much as she is wanting to share her life.The problem many of us men have is that we take our wife’s retelling and make it mean something worse. That she is suffering she’s in pain. She is not having a pleasant time and that it reflects badly upon us. Many of us men also have a tendency to become anxious, worried, scared, angry, or some other fear-based emotion That we want to avoid.so instead of listening and connecting with her wife, we want to rush in with our toolbelt and get our wife to be happier instantly. Life doesn’t work that way how many times has our wife tried to get us to smile and cheer up and it doesn’t work? The same thing goes for her.When we try to fix the problem often, our wife thinks that we don’t care about what her day was about. We want to hurry the conversation along so that we don’t have to connect with our wives. That is the very opposite of what we want. We want to connect with our wife. We want to have a wonderful relationship with our wife. We know that we have to have a good emotional connection with our wife, but we also don’t wanna feel bad. Therefore, we toss all of the work we’re doing out the window.Have your phone out at supperWe gripe at our teenagers for having the phone out at times. We really want to connect. These phones that we have today are these wondrous little machines that give us feel-good emotional bumps every second of the day.The big problem though is that when we don’t have our phones in our hands, the amount of serotonin and dopamine levels drop which tells our brain that we are bored. Our brain does not like to be bored. It likes that stimulation that it gets from that little rectangular slab of plastic glass and metal. so often when we are being unintentional in our life that phone magically appears in our hand. So what are you do?How do you keep from having that phone out at supper? That’s work right there. You have to get over your thoughts of what boredom actually means.To your wife, the phone being out means the same thing as the phone being out to the kids. She interprets you reading your email looking up some piece of trivia or what as you’re not interested in her. The same goes around for your wife if she has the phone and you want to talk. You know how that feels so you have to start intentionally paying attention to what your hands are doing while you’re waiting for a refill of the bread basket.You can start turning the phone off when you go to eat. You can also take the phone and set it face down on a different table to signify that you don’t have the phone. And then start asking questions. Talk to your wife. Don’t fix as before, but have deep conversations by asking questions.PornWhen it comes to marriage, we’re supposed to have sex on a regular basis. Well, that’s what we like to tell ourselves. Yet often as the years go on and kids come onto the scene lovemaking gets relegated to the back of the closet.we get told through the years of all the times our wife has a headache all the times her wife is too cold all

After 10 to 20 years of marriage, you may notice that the roommate syndrome has crept in and has set up Shop right in your bedroom. You may be noticing that there are a lot of things that are just kind of normal. Maybe you think that’s how things just are. However, this stuff can change. The connection that you are used to hasn't gone it’s just not being used. Your emotional connections are a lot like a muscle and you have to exercise it to keep it strong.When we have that strong connection in our relationships, we experience a more fulfilling relationship. That connection is what our wife needs to be intimate with us. We often stand around, wondering why she doesn’t want to sleep with us anymore or why the sex has faded away to being once every three months when it used to be we were rocking our socks off every other day. The answer is, that we’ve let life happen. We’ve had arguments and we’ve said things that hurt each other’s feelings. We’ve lashed out because we were hurting emotionally. It means that we would rather feel emotionally safe and not feel hurt as much. Therefore, we withdraw.That withdrawal pattern amplifies in distance as the years pass. Add kids and other responsibilities and eventually that smoking hot bride that we had isn’t putting on teddys and garter belts for us anymore. She is now in fuzzy pajama pants, a long nightgown sweatshirt with fuzzy socks. You can’t remember the last time she touched her makeup and getting her to go outside amongst people in public is like pulling teeth. When you look back you see and remember how adventurous she used to be. That lack of connection and that lack of communication is what created the problem you’re experiencing now.Is there any hope? Should you just give up on this marriage and go find a younger model? I would dissuade from the divorce thoughts because you have years of connection. You need to have a reawakening to see that wonderful, beautiful, fulfilling marriage you both still have. The Key is you just have to work at rebuilding that connection now.Start with the end in mindWhen it comes to building a strong connection, you want to start with the end in mind. That means stepping back and examining what does a connected intimate marriage actually look like. Yes, it’s gonna have more sex for sure but what else? Are you ok with the possibility that the sex may never come back to what it was before? What does that look like? How do y’all reconnect each night before bed? How do you set aside intentional time for your wife? How do you foster a deeper connection during the hard times? What does your life with a deep meaningful fulfilling connection look like to you? That is the important part that we miss. How do we go about having a great fulfilling marriage? These are all questions you want to ask regularly.Many times we step through life without intention so much so that we don’t even think of what we want our marriage to look like or how we want to act toward each other. We think that the other person is supposed to be bringing us joy, happiness, and fulfillment, but that is not the case. Your wife sadly cannot bring you happiness. Your wife cannot make you happy in any form. She doesn't have that power. The same goes for you. You are not able to make your wife happy. No matter what you say or do, you’re not gonna bring joy or fulfillment to her life. All of that is based upon your thoughts, so you have to first understand and examine and do the thought work on what you believe a good healthy marriage is about.How do you think You behave when there’s a crisis how do you show up to that circumstance? Look in examine how you want your life to be from every possible angle and then look and see where you don’t show up like that and why do you not show up like that? What are you making your wife saying she’s got a headache mean about your relationship? you want to make sure you have those thoughts processed. Make plans as to how you would like to show up for your wife. Have a vision of how you will be. Don't worry about your wife. You have no control over her.Understand your why and want to change.What is it about your marriage that is unfulfilling? That’s a great question to ask, isn’t it? Can you answer that question honestly to yourself? What part of that scenario is your fault? That’s a big one if you’re able to answer that. You’re gonna be well on your way to finding answers and being able to change your marriage for the better, if you can see how you had a hand in creating this roommate syndrome.The next part of your marriage that you want to examine is why you want to change. Yeah, the sex may not be as frequent as you would like, but that is just one aspect of a beautiful marriage. If all you can complain about is that you’re not getting as much nookie as you want, then other issues and that is a little bit more work. I would recommend that you look at your beliefs around marriage and sex.Look at your "why" and examine that "why". Come to

You may have heard me talk about how our minds are like computers. You get out what you put in. There are many instances of this from getting respect you have to first give respect. If you want peace in your life you have to first give peace. Our Bodies are also like that Are you in shape or are you an example of soft living? Do you eat nothing but vegetables or are you an omnivour? Do you exercise? Do you lift heavy objects and throw them around your yard? What you are doing and how you feel has a bit to do with what you are powering your body with. Some men do like to power their body with cigarettes and coffee and while that will work for a while it won't be long till you have problems with what you are putting in. Now. do you go to the extremes and be Mr. Healthnut? No Moderation is the key. Our projects are like that. Are you putting time effort and money into your projects or are you just doing some stuff hoping that it will eventually take off? If you aren't putting the needed effort into your project they will not reward you with the desired outcome. Our relationships are also like that Do you want kids that are happy to see you? How about a marriage where the wife is happy to see you? When the kids go to bed is she happy to get undressed for you? What are you putting into the relationship> are you putting a lot of self-defeating thoughts or are you bringing good healthy masculine energy to the relationship? We often come home and proceed to sit on the couch and watch television. Yet what would your relationship be like if you were to become interested in your wife's world? All of our relationships are like these. Now are we to act like women when we meet each other? No, we are men but we have to contribute to the relationship for it to grow. Yes we do have those long-time friends whom we see each other and we can pick up right where we left off but many more require care and diligence to nurture and grow. Links Get a New Podcast App Summary The main premise of this episode is examining the principle of "you get what you give" and how it manifests in different areas of our lives. The host, Brian, a certified men's coach, discusses three key examples where men often fail to put in enough effort or quality "inputs", resulting in poor "outputs" or undesirable results. The first example is our bodies. Brian explains that our bodies function like computers - the inputs (thoughts, beliefs, actions) determine the outputs (health, weight, energy levels). If we feed our bodies junk food and have negative self-talk, we'll get poor physical results. He cautions against going to extremes like strict veganism or carnivorism, as moderation is healthier. The words we tell ourselves about our bodies become self-fulfilling. The second example is our projects, goals, and aspirations. Many men don't put in the consistent, devoted effort and problem-solving required for their passions or dreams to truly take off. We hope for success with minimal work, but it doesn't happen that way. Brian stresses facing the mental obstacles and unhelpful thoughts that hold us back from applying ourselves fully to our desired endeavors. The third key area is our relationships - romantic, familial, and friendships. The quality of energy, nurturing, love, curiosity, and work we put into our relationships is exactly what gets reflected back to us. Putting in sarcasm, criticism, neglect, and lack of communication breeds problems and disconnect. Unresolved conflicts pile up, leading to roommate-like situations lacking intimacy. However, nurturing with love, open communication, and true effort yields loving, fulfilling relationships. For struggling relationships, Brian advises doubling down on efforts through vulnerable communication, curiosity about your partner's inner experience, and doing the inner self-work. For career struggles, working on fostering good professional relationships is key. The overarching solution is to put high-quality "inputs" or effort into the four pillars of life: body, mind, community, and soul. Our thoughts ultimately create our reality, so being mindful of our self-talk and inputs is crucial. Brian offers his discounted one-on-one coaching services to help men identify their ideal dream life and make a plan to put in consistent inputs across the key life areas to ultimately get their desired outputs and results. The main takeaway is that the quality of what we get out of our health, goals, and relationships is a direct reflection of the quality and quantity of what we put into those areas through our thoughts, beliefs, actions, and efforts. Applying this "you get what you give" principle is key to transforming one's life experience. 00:00:00 Introduction 00:03:42 The Three Spaces 00:07:35 Body and Mind 00:12:22 Nurturing Relationships 00:18:47 Input Equals Output 00:21:39 Putting in Effort 00:23:24 Closing Words

With much of life, we can either float down the river of life or we can steer our life to where we want to go. The difference is that when we use intention we get closer to where we want to go sooner than if we just drift.Lack of intention is where you hope you arrive at your desired destination. You are just going through life and often unintentional people come across as if they are asleep and don't put much thought into why they are doing what they are doing. They often will find these people blaming external events and not that they had any hand in creating the results they are facing. People who are going through life with emotional childhood are living life unintentionally. They see emotions as things that just happen and don't want to apply the fact that your thoughts create your emotions. What is living with intention? Deciding how you are going respond behave approach any circumstance ahead of time.But what if you don't know?review your actions and make decisions Why we don't live with intention? It's scaryWe are responsible Where do you start? Start by making a decisionsThen plan out how you are going to reach those resultsTake action Take the Next Step Get coaching for 95% off Summary The episode is about the power of intention and living life intentionally rather than just drifting through life without direction or purpose. The main points covered are:What happens when we lack intention in life - We end up like a boat without a rudder, just floating aimlessly and likely crashing into things or running aground. Many people live this unintentional life, making decisions without much thought, and ending up broke or unhappy.Benefits of intentional living - When we live with intention, consciously deciding how we want to live and behave, we can steer our lives in the direction we want rather than being at the mercy of circumstances.Examples of intentionality are deciding ahead of time how you want to be as a parent, how to react when your teenager scratches the car, and choosing a career path thoughtfully rather than defaulting to something.Challenges of intentionality - It requires taking responsibility for our choices and actions. Many avoid this because it's easier to just drift than make hard decisions.How to live intentionally - Examine your life, decide how you want to live, set goals aligned with that vision, and take active steps every day towards those goals. Course-correct when you fail to live up to your intentions.The alternative of unintentional living - Living reactively, spending frivolously, blaming others/systems for your circumstances. Ending up broke, unhappy or crashing against the metaphorical shore.Catch the Show notes athttps://www.relaxedmale.com/the-power-of-living-life-intentionally/Chapters(00:00) Introduction to The Relaxed Male(02:18) The Power of Intention(02:53) Understanding Intentionality in Life(06:37) The Impact of Intention on Lifes Path(07:43) Being Intentional as a Parent(09:40) Consequences of Unintentional Actions(14:31) Overcoming Fear of Intentionality(16:59) Making Decisions for Intentional LivingIf you would like to reclaim your bride and leave the mediocrity of roommate syndrome behind, then it is time to take the next step.Take The Next Step

In relationships, we often will slide into a form of comfort routine that is called the Roommate Syndrome The Roommate Syndrome Where sparks go to smolder. Why does this happen? past disagreements It is easier Rejection free How to rekindle the spark Know what the roommate syndrome is about. Start with the end in mind Much like the word rekindle you have to use kindling Kindling is a small flammable material that you can use to grow an ember into a bonfire. It starts with the small stuff Rediscover the silly you 95% Off Coaching Offer Summary Here is a detailed summary of the key points from this podcast episode: The episode discusses the "roommate syndrome" that can happen in marriages, where the spark and passion fades over time. The host, Brian, explains that this happens because of our unintentional thoughts and mindsets over the course of a long-term relationship. He notes that as couples get older, their sexual frequency and intensity naturally declines compared to when they were younger. This can lead to feelings of disconnection and the "roommate syndrome" setting in, where the relationship feels more like living with a roommate than an intimate partner. The host explains that this happens for a few key reasons: Women tend to be more mentally/emotionally oriented when it comes to sex, needing more foreplay and mental preparation, compared to men who are more physically/visually driven. As life demands increase for women, sex can become lower on the priority list. Couples stop making the effort to reconnect and be playful/adventurous like they did when dating. Avoiding difficult conversations about the lack of intimacy also contributes to the problem. Men become afraid of rejection when consistently turned down for sex, so they stop initiating and turn to less fulfilling outlets like porn. The host emphasizes the importance of open communication between partners to find solutions. This may involve compromises, exploring new ways of being intimate, and rediscovering the playfulness the couple had early in the relationship. He encourages men to focus on becoming the best version of themselves, which can reignite their wife's interest. Overall, the episode highlights how the "roommate syndrome" is a common issue, but one that can be overcome through intentional effort, communication, and rediscovering the fun and silliness that used to characterize the relationship.

What does the world look like when you are curious Why it is good to get curious You see more out there You see what is possible Better at problem-solving You are more relatable More creative More Fulfilment Strengthens relationships Applying those to your relationships You understand your spouse or friend more You learn and discover more Curiosity helps you to connect even more it deepens the intimacy with your spouse Want to learn how to have more curiosity in your relationships then take the Next step? Summary The main topic of this podcast episode is the importance of being curious in life, relationships, and personal growth. The host, Bryan, explains that having a curious mindset allows you to find more joy, happiness, and fulfillment. He discusses how when we are young, we are naturally very curious about the world around us. As we get older, that innate curiosity tends to fade as we settle into routines and stop questioning things as much. However, maintaining a sense of curiosity is vital for several reasons: Curiosity opens up new possibilities and helps spark creativity to solve problems in innovative ways, especially for entrepreneurs. Being curious makes you a better problem solver in all areas of life rather than just accepting "That's how we've always done it." Curiosity makes you more relatable and eager to learn from others. It shows you don't know everything. A curious mindset is a growth-oriented abundant mindset, whereas a lack of curiosity leads to a scarcity mindset of just holding on to what you have. The episode emphasizes how curiosity can greatly strengthen relationships, especially with your spouse/partner. Asking questions, being interested in her perspective/hobbies, and striving to understand why she does things a certain way builds intimacy and makes her feel heard and understood. Practical tips are given like the "5 whys" approach to get to the root of someone's motivations by repeatedly asking "Why?" Curiosity about your partner's world helps create deeper connections. Even asking about topics you don't care about can make the other person feel you're a great conversationalist. Overall, the host advises making a conscious effort to embrace curiosity by asking more questions, being open to learning, and examining the details of the world around you. This curiosity will lead to more fulfillment, stronger bonds, creative problem-solving, and personal growth. 00:00:00 The Power of Curiosity 00:01:47 Embracing Curiosity in Life 00:05:30 Challenging the Status Quo 00:07:28 Embracing Growth Through Curiosity 00:11:10 Curiosity vs. Scarcity Mindset 00:11:25 Strengthening Relationships Through Curiosity 00:11:46 Unveiling Relationship Dynamics with Curiosity 00:17:59 Building Strong Connections Through Curiosity

After many years couples often find themselves in a strange predicament. The Sex and closeness fall off and people just sort of exist in the same house. There are lots of thoughts and interpretations of this. The decrease in intimacy has been a problem in marriage since marriages were implemented. Many today believe that the reason for the decrease in intimacy is the institution of marriage. That the very act of committing yourself to another person is why the fire dies down. It can be (See Roommate Syndrome) but it isn't the reason. Why do intimacy challenges come up? We are human and we can't do anything without some type of emotion mixed in. We are just emotional beings. We are also creatures of habit. We do not want to rock the boat too much out of fear that we will be scorned in some way. We don't want to be kicked out of our village and lose all that we have worked so hard to gather. So why do we fall into roommate syndrome? Routine The big reason is we find a routine that works for us. The wife likes her shows and you like yours so you go and watch TV in separate rooms. Instead of going out for a walk or doing something different. Don't want to stir up emotions Doing something new can cause people to feel different emotions. Nice guy syndrome Sorry nice guys but you strike again. Trying to control as much as you do causes people to not venture out into the fun areas of life. So we become bored. A relationship can't survive without sex? Funny how this is often the go-to for why we need sex in our lives. Yet that isn't fully the case. yeah, it would be nice to get boned on a regular basis, but men often have a higher sex drive than women. So we often want to have sex far more often than our spouse would like to have it. So what do you do? That is why you are here. Roommate Syndrome Roommate syndromes are when you have hit a plateau. You have found yourself and your spouse in a rut and this is a good place to be because it means it is time for you to grow. You have a choice Now it may seem as if we are struggling against an impossible wall but that is where our suffering is coming from our thoughts of the matter. We always have a choice. We can change and grow and become the people that lead our spouses out of mediocrity or we can let the marriage wither or we can just stay the same and hope that one of the people in the relationship doesn't venture out for some adventure with someone else. Stay and find out how to grow The one choice I feel most people want is to stay with their spouse and find out how to become the partner their spouse needs in their life. How to increase intimacy There are many different ways we can increase intimacy. We first need to know what type of intimacy we are growing. Any intimacy is one thing but it does help to know what type you are aiming for. According to All Points North, there are 5 types of intimacy we want in our relationships. Emotional intimacy This is, how much emotional connection are you and your spouse willing to have? How willing are you to open up to your spouse about emotions? There are some thoughts as to how deep you need this to be for a good connection with your wife. Spiritual Intimacy How are you and your spouse sharing yall's religion? Many people like to say they are "spiritual" and that's fine but what is your belief and is your belief compatible with your spouse? Intellectual Intimacy How much curiosity is there about each other? Social Intimacy How much do you share in each other's interests? Physical intimacy This is what we men want most. but to get this you often need to do some other things to get here. They want to feel emotionally safe and secure They want to feel trusted They have to trust their partner. Women are mental beings so their engines are started by you waving your ding-a-ling around. This is why women can't stand dick pics. Men, we love our penises but women don't. Start dating your girl again Time to go back into the old dating box in the back of your mental closet dust it off and start dating each other again. Schedule sex It may not seem as spontaneous but at the same time, it does create some habits that have long been lost. There have been couples that actually tried 365 days of sex. They came out of it with a stronger connection with their significant other. Have a Strong Man's Community Pillar Talk to other men and have a life outside of your marriage Go back to Cheesy Romantic stuff Yeah get romantic. Exercise that muscle. Flowers Start giving flowers regularly. Even today's women still like flowers. Love notes How often do you leave love notes for your wife to find? that is too few. DO more. Love texts Send a text to your wife at random times telling her how much she means to you and how happy you are. Might even throw a little saucy language in to spice the feeling up a little. Just no dick pics. Drop the Mental Fights Many people have mental arguments with their spouses. If you do this stop. If you find yourself in th

Men struggle with strong meaningful connections. Many even struggle with just having a relationship. So many men today don't have close relationships or their relationships are just surface-level connections that don't fulfill the purpose of a relationship. We men need relationships and yet we forsake our own needs for a plethora of reasons. So why do we need to have good strong relationships? Why can't we just hermitize ourselves and just be done with it? Benefits of a good relationship Why are relationships needed? What makes the messy emotional events of having relationships with both men and women good for us? Live longer This is mainly for married men but when a man has friends who force him to get out of the house and go do things. These men live longer and more fulfilled because they have a relationship with both men and women. Men who are isolated have stronger suicide tendencies Sadly many men do end their lives because they have isolated themselves. In fact a guy who starts to isolate needs strong relationships more than ever. Happier Why do men actually long for relationships. Relationships with women It helps them see life as an adventure Three desires of a man He wants a battle to fight. He dreams of adventure. He longs for a beauty to rescue We love to care We Love to be cared for We do like the input from women Men seek specifics in their relationships and often don't find them Praise and approval Respect Connection Space Security Physical Touch Relationships with other men A means to be pushed to be better others to learn from A refill of their masculine energy Men need to have a connection with those around them Why do men not have as many friends as they could have? Many men don't have close friends at all Sadly many men have stopped trying or using the internet as a cheap knockoff connection They lost their girl's challenge. Coaching Offer Summary Introduction Bryan Goodwin hosts The Relaxed Male podcast, aimed at helping men remove the "nice guy" mindset and live life on their own terms. This episode (#221) focuses on the importance of relationships for men. Why Relationships are Important for Men Men struggle with relationships - romantic partners, family, friends, coworkers etc. Some men avoid relationships altogether through movements like "men going their own way." However, strong relationships provide several key benefits for men: Longevity Married men tend to live longer than single men, especially if the marriage is a strong, connected one. When a wife passes away, the widowed husband often dies soon after of "a broken heart." Lower Suicide Risk Men with solid relationships have lower tendencies towards suicide compared to isolated men. Friends will notice if a man starts withdrawing and pull him back out. Happiness Overall, married men report being happier than single men. Having masculine friendships pushes men to get out, try new activities and adventures they wouldn't alone. Benefits Men Seek in Relationships Words of affirmation/praise Respect Connection/security Physical touch (both platonic and romantic) Men are often the "romantics" craving spice from their wives Importance of Male Friendships Allow men to be their full, uninhibited selves Provide positive masculine energy that balances feminine energy from romantic partners Men learn from each other and push each other to grow Having a tight community of male friends is crucial Challenges to Building/Maintaining Friendships Many men lack close friendships - estimates of 15% having no close friends Online friendships are not a full substitute for in-person connection Romantic partners sometimes pressure men to drop male friends Men must be willing to stand up to this "test" from partners to keep respected friendships Bryan's Plug for Coaching Services For men wanting to improve their relationships (romantic or platonic) 3-month coaching package to change perspectives on relationships Connect with Bryan through the website to take advantage of a discounted offer Overall, the episode argues that all kinds of relationships - romantic, family, friendships - are vital for men's mental health, life satisfaction, personal growth, and even longevity. Building a strong community of male friends is particularly emphasized. ( 00:00 ) Introduction to The Relaxed Male ( 00:32 ) The Importance of Relationships ( 06:48 ) Benefits of Strong Relationships ( 11:22 ) Specific Benefits for Men ( 18:29 ) The Importance of Male Friendships ( 24:05 ) The Role of Community in Men's Lives