The Luxury Podcast

In this week's main episode, William and Jonathan tackle everything from tattoos to tote bags, and from perfumes to piercings. Plus, William demonstrates his very unusual method of using his phone, and Jonathan his equally unconventional use for a dog poo bag.Join the Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In our last episode of the year, Jonathan and William reflect on the most luxury, executive, and hilarious moments of 2025. Thank you for your continued support, Bucketheads! The Luxury Podcast team wish you a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan look towards their very fancy Christmas do. Plus, a surprising appearance from Jennifer Patterson, Jonathan shares a story about his nephew and some yoghurt, and both presenters give a lucky listener some lessons in love.Join the Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

William and Jonathan are feeling (somewhat) festive this week as they look ahead to Christmas. They discuss when the appropriate time to put up decorations is, and Jonathan shares a not-very-Christmassy confrontation related to this topic. Plus, pyromania in a church, and William shares his very on-brand method to putting up the tree.Join the Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s a particularly silly bonus episode of the podcast this week, featuring a showcase of William doing the splits. Plus, discussion of braces and suspenders, how to convince your partner to embrace an executive lifestyle, and how to correct a fellow train passenger’s poor behaviour.Join the Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

William and Jonathan delve into hats and shoes this week - from what makes a luxury hat, to hat-wearing etiquette, to if wearing 'comedy socks' is ever acceptable. Plus, judgement is passed on women's hats, and William has a wonderful Hertfordshire-themed present in mind for Jonathan.Join the Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's bonus, the team look back on Luxury Live and share some very executive behind the scenes stories - including a mishap with one presenter's trousers. In other horrors, the dreaded 'like' rears its ugly head again, and Jonathan admits to doing something truly awful with his dogs' excrement.Join the Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's main episode, William and Jonathan share their lessons of love - from who should pay, to how to deal with rude behaviour, to why Wagamamas should be avoided at all costs. Plus, who out of the two was a 'player', can a relationship break ever be luxury, and William's number one tip for a strong relationship.Join the Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

 In this week's bonus episode, Jonathan's excited for his upcoming holiday, and William's excited for the gift he's bringing him back. Plus, living with dead celebrities, an embarrassing encounter with the late queen, and the scourge of the word 'like'.Join the Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today's episode is an assault on the senses that sees Jonathan and William sharing their very favourite taste sensations. We also return to Jonathan's al-fresco kitchen and discover the two's favourite takeaways. Plus, Jonathan delivers his verdict on each major television chef, and William attempts to act sober.Join the Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's yet another varied bonus episode this week, starting with an update from William's first Halloween experience. The true horror, though, lies in a very 'anti-luxury' shop that one presenter admits to visiting…Plus, chemistry classroom misdemeanours, singing washing machines, and the best television shows to watch at the dentist's.Join the Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the return of former children William and Jonathan, as this week they're discussing parenting. Conversation topics range from wondering if they'd ever become parents, to choosing luxury baby names, to how to cope when witnessing bad parenting. The two also swap their childhood experiences of discipline, and delicately decide what to say when faced with a friend's ugly baby.Join the Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jonathan is suffering with an executive sniffle, but thankfully William is on hand to tend to his needs and keep things firmly pointed in a luxury direction. They discuss tipping decorators, cleaning carpets and a word of warning for any potentially troublesome air passengers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Tune in your wireless to The Luxury Podcast, as this week our hosts are paying homage to the radio. William and Jonathan share their recommendations for other luxury shows, revisit some classic clips from their time on the radio, and share the truth about Terry Wogan's hair. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's bonus episode, we have an update on the pressing items in our hosts' lives (Jonathan's glasses and William's cleaner). Plus, Jane McDonald's treatment of trick or treaters, whether a change of name by deed poll can ever be luxury, and how best to wash a bike jacket. A varied episode as always.Join the Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's episode, William and Jonathan compare their personal grooming routines and discover that one host's is far more lengthy than the other’s. On a semi-related note, they also discuss manscaping, before moving on to fragrances, cosmetic surgery and facial hair.Join the Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's bonus, William and Jonathan's friendship is put to the ultimate test. In JVS's words, they've never been so close to falling out - and it's not even a main episode. Tensions ease slightly when the two consider how best to deal with unruly aeroplane passengers, pest infestations, and glasses.Join the Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

William and Jonathan attempt to put a luxury spin on spooky season. The two cover everything from the fancy dress of Jonathan's youth, to the most effective way of dispersing trick or treaters (hint: you first need firearm training). Plus, William shares a story from his party, of a very unconventional tribute to the late Patricia Routledge.Join the Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan catch up after William's housewarming party. Jonathan revisits some of his more outrageous comments, issued while on the house tour (the guest-requested house tour, of course). Plus, William gives his tips on where to go for a pre-Luxury Live afternoon tea, and the podcast is interrupted by another Vernon-Smith. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's episode, William and Jonathan explore their pet hates - of which there are many, of course. Two previous episode themes collide, with corporal punishment being doled out for inappropriate bodily functions. Plus, Jonathan describes bad driving etiquette, and William produces some extremely specific pet hates.Join the Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's bonus episode, William gives a very important update about his new alarm system - and Jonathan is himself alarmed to discover his may be less executive than he had thought. Plus, the two critique Jonathan's new glasses, hear from alumni from their old schools, and give a very lovely live rendition of the podcast theme. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's episode, William and Jonathan consider the biggest question of them all: how to have a luxury death. The two plan their funerals in great detail, with Mary Poppins, Macho Macho Man and Blame It On The Bossa Nova all making an appearance. Plus, there's great excitement when inspiration strikes for Luxury Live. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan compare notes on how to pick the most thorough and executive cleaner. Jonathan puts himself forward as William's chambermaid, and much haggling over price ensues. Plus, a listener writes in with a very alarming dream, and Jonathan's filthy headboard returns. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Follow Jonathan and William down the aisle in this week's episode, all about supermarkets. The two reflect on the different shop names, what they say about a person, and what the most executive supermarket really is. It's not all British brands - Mercadona of course makes an appearance, and William tries out his French and Latin. Plus, the two create the Luxury Supermarket, for the upper class shopper. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

With the sad news of Patricia Routledge's death, William and Jonathan pause to remember the award-winning actress, and star of ‘Keeping Up Appearances’. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan kick things off with an update on their social calendars, before a very in-depth discussion on the most executive way to present toilet rolls in one's bathroom. Plus, the two take on a rude restaurant goer, and JVS pays homage to his favourite soap. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's episode, William and Jonathan revisit their school days, and the wardrobe malfunctions, questionable language lessons and brutish bullies that accompanied them. Plus, William looks back fondly on an unusual school hobby, and bleep machine usage reaches never-before-seen levels. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan run through the alarms, smoke screens and panic rooms that make one's system thoroughly secure. Plus, the two weigh in on when it's appropriate to complain in public, and how to cope with other people's inferior hygiene habits. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

William and Jonathan will see you now! This week's episode is all about health, and the two take a trip down memory lane, revisiting some of their most dramatic ailments - including some intriguingly timed fainting (guess who) and the unfortunate swallowing of a classroom object.Join the Luxury Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's bonus episode, a rat is sighted in one presenter's garden, and the other has to contend with pasty crumbs in the carpet. If this doesn't sound very luxurious, fear not - order is restored when William once again shares his penchant for hired hands, and Jonathan casts judgement on a listener's collecting habits. Plus, an insight into what goes on after hours at Heathrow.Join the Luxury Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's episode, former children William and Jonathan seek out the spiritual with an exploration of horoscopes. The two scour over their own horoscopes and see what fits (and doesn't). Plus, a look at the astrology of serial killing, and discussion of what makes one's birth luxury or not.Luxury Live tickets are now on general sale! Book tickets and join the Members' Club here: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan discuss all the latest mod-cons - from faux wood windows, to sausage-shaped dog poo bins, to the very luxury guest-room-cum-panic-room. Plus, a listener writes in with a shocking story of houseguest mess.The Luxury Members' Club and Luxury Live event are now live! Head to the Patreon for more information: http://luxurypodcast.co.uk/club Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's episode, William and Jonathan take a trip down memory lane and revisit their flatshares - complete with stories of broken bones, secret sojourns and dental damage. Plus, listeners share their own flatmate horror stories; including one featuring a decidedly unluxuriant police visit. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's bonus episode, William gives an update on his movements - house and otherwise. Jonathan, in a rare moment, finds a cleaning case in which the use of bleach is discouraged. And the two discuss whether its ever acceptable to take children to a swinger's pool party. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's episode, William and Jonathan get into the meat of the matter, defining the most luxury and executive Sunday roast for the masses. The two rise to the occasion (despite the fact that JVS's mic doesn't) and beef curtains make an auspicious return. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's another bonus episode that's as eclectic as it is executive, with topics ranging from dog beds, to sex perverts, to glasses shopping. Plus, William and Jonathan ponder whether they've ever cut corners in their luxury lifestyles, and William rights a wrong in his and Jonathan's friendship. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's episode, William is approaching completion - and ponders how best to clean up after. Jonathan lends his consumer expertise to this conundrum, and the two discuss everything from removal companies, to London's youth's drug habit, to how to go about obtaining a bike shed. Plus, discussion about when to move home again (if ever), and much more. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan decide on the most executive form of air conditioning, before revisiting two of their most infamous air travel stories. Plus, a discussion on how best to clean one's shoes (is spit ever an option?) and William reveals a secretive liaison he's been engaged in. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's main episode, William and Jonathan discuss Physical Exercise - and appropriately enough, start the episode getting quite hot and bothered chasing a fly. With that warm-up complete, the two discuss exercise routines, sportswear tips, and how best to handle things when your trainer reveals themselves to be a Flat Earther. Plus, they look back fondly on their schoolboy attempts to wriggle out of Sports, in favour of smoking cigars. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No stone is left unturned in this week's bonus episode, with William and Jonathan ranging from conversation about pest control, to England's new football manager (yes, really) to Hertfordshire's premier swinging spot. Plus, a return to the mysteries of Betty the dog's stomach, and William reveals how the Great British Public responded to his opera cape. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Laundry Day in this week's episode, and Jonathan is in ecstasy, treating William to a demonstration of his very executive - and very potent - detergent products. The two right some cleanliness wrongs, setting out what the proper amount and style of bedding is, and whether one should own a solo tumble dryer or a combo. Plus, they prepare for William's move with a very important discussion about whether or not to concrete his hole. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's bonus episode, William shares a story of an injury incurred on holiday, and Jonathan an even more shocking story from his 'pupernity' leave. Plus, we return to the hallowed halls of William's dream pub, 'The Cock And Trumpet', and Jonathan defends his controversial phone case. Finally, William looks ahead to his new home and ponders how best to protect his back passage. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's episode, William and Jonathan discuss the way to host one's friends and family overnight in the most executive and attentive fashion. William makes plans for the guest room in his new home, and the two ponder what the optimum duration for a guest to stay is. Plus, they swap horror stories about their more questionable house guests, including (but not limited to) unannounced gentleman callers and bed sheet stains. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week’s bonus episode William rails against cubicle etiquette violations, while Jonathan shares his holiday tradition of travelling with a personal washing line and luxury-grade pegs.The pair also advise listeners on the art of executive complaining, protocol when vacating a hotel room and which flowers - real and artificial - are fit for a luxury display in the home. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, William and Jonathan turn their attention to money. They discuss how not to behave when you have it, whether it’s ever acceptable to ask someone what they earn and the deeply un-luxury world of lending to friends.Plus, they help a listener navigate the tricky balance between enjoying life and saving wisely.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week’s bonus episode, William reveals his quest to get hench, Jonathan shows off his approved envelope flaps and the pair discuss where a listener's royal correspondence should be displayed. Plus: a duck pancake theft and a discussion on whether books in a lavatory are tasteful or tragic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jonathan and William discuss a great British institution: the pub. While JVS waxes lyrical about his love for a good boozer, William remains sceptical, questioning the true luxury of sticky floors and pork scratchings.The pair design their fantasy public houses - from names and decor, to what makes a great landlord, menus and drinks selections. Debating what truly makes a pub feel like home.They also hear from a listener asking about the delicate art of approaching famous punters.Plus, JVS shares tales from ‘pupernity' leave as he adjusts to life with the newest member of his Luxury household, Betty! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan prepare for the arrival of Jonathan's puppy, with some crucial safety advice. Plus, discussion on how to executively display one's dwellings, and the two discover a very intriguing new pear. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's possibly Jonathan and William's least luxurious and most controversial episode yet, as the two dive into the thorny subject of punishments. The two compare their different childhood experiences of discipline. They also hear from a listener who recalls their grandfather's subtle method of disciplining misbehaving children by chasing them with a meat cleaver. Plus, JVS and William discuss how they'd maintain law and order if they were Luxury Home Secretaries, and William takes a look at some historical punishments. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's bonus episode, William and Jonathan delve into what makes a hobby luxurious, and get an update on a hobby that's distinctly unglamorous (attending sea shanty festivals). They also celebrate the classy art of letter writing, and Jonathan shares a story of a disastrous family meal. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.