
The Luke and Pete Show
935 episodes — Page 1 of 19
Get Your Shackets and Shotguns Here
Whale Stench on the Machinery
The Impressive Chest of a Guatemalan Man
Eating Rollmops in a Public Toilet
The Toyota Century and 3D Printing Enthusiasts' Club
Unofficial Chinese Police Stations
Bad Knees and a Hosepipe Ban
Don’t Have a Whinge, Poindexter
Look at My Diseases
The Pubsman Litmus Test
Doggerland and Diggerland
The Asthma Hour
The Unkillable Soldier
An Aristocratic George Bush
Two Hours Late for the War
Claude's Awful Drawing
An Inedible Melon
Richard Keys: The Musical
Knob Out All Day
You Believe in the Moon?
Wall-to-Wall Muck
The S.O.B. Show
Big Screens and Good Beer
Not an AI-generated Podcast
Dreadful Far-right Music
Too Stinky for Press-Ganging
Hot Guys Reading Books
I’ll Be Your Clown
The One-Armed Green Grocer
MDMA on a Desert Island
One Question for the Boss
The Christianity Escape Pod
My Name Isn't James
Yes, Captain Kidney
I’ve Got Loads of Bags of Cement
Dispatches from Orchestra Camp
Leave the Tortoise Alone
Schrödinger’s Poo
A Balustrade Tragedy
Ten American Men

AKA the Bronx
On today’s show, Luke laments the inherent meekness of the British and their aversion to revolution. Thank God for a new set of golf clubs to lift his spirits a bit. Pete, meanwhile, is getting stuck in the long grass of naming conventions and the business of double-barrelling.We’ve also got a bizarrely-decorated hard hat to investigate and the origin of a nickname to explain.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [email protected]. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Last Men on Earth
If Luke and Pete were to leave the studio to find they’re suddenly the only people left on the planet, what would the strategy be? Minor spoiler: primates and Lime Bikes would be involved.Also up for discussion are parking tickets, jarring tonal shifts in hip-hop and an email about bubbly water.Plus, we find out what Pete was up to in the 90s.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [email protected]. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Elderly Japanese Lady Golfer
Remember when you used to get fat footballers? Luke and Pete do.On today’s episode, the guys discuss the sartorial choices of football fans of the past and present, as well as those of golfers and middle-aged men more generally. Not only that, but there’s an offering for the Battery Robot and some big news concerning Afroman.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [email protected]. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Goodnight to the Metaverse
The trailer for SNL UK is out and Luke and Pete are sticking to their original predictions vis à vis its quality. But there’s bigger fish to fry on this fine Monday because video game faces have been yassified and, $80 billion later, the Metaverse is dead.Elsewhere, Luke shouts out Denis Norden and David Niven’s wartime pasts and Pete gives his thoughts on contemporary British and Irish stars of the screen.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [email protected]. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wet Music and Big Shoes
Luke’s distaste for what he calls “wet music” might have ruined a recent night out, but his negativity is no match for Pete’s beef with a certain Instagram content creator. Also on today’s agenda: robots on mental health walks, video game discussions and a massive question of the day from Mr Moore: "why are we acting like WWIII isn’t already happening?" Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [email protected]. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Drinking is the Abraham
Pete might have cracked the code to weight loss, everyone. But will the solution give him bad pumps? Only time will tell. Elsewhere on today’s episode, the guys reminisce/have flashbacks about the time Pete was rescued by a lifeguard named Abraham and Luke brings a meat shower to the table. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [email protected]. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mongo the Chimpfluencer
Cryptids. Ever heard of them? Well, they get everywhere. Including Hartlepool, it turns out. Today’s edition of the Luke and Pete show moves from the cryptozoological to the regular kind of zoological when chimpanzees become the focus of the discussion. Trigger warning: includes details of a brutal real-life chimp attack. This is not one for the squeamish. But there’s a nice chaser in store: Pete’s “sexy” MSN pranks.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [email protected]. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wild Moldovan Dogs
Pete’s been off on his holidays again, this time to Moldova and the breakaway republic of Transnistria. And he didn’t even get as pissed as he could have.Staying on the theme of states and nations, Luke and Peter touch on the war in the Middle East and how certain Dubai residents have reacted to it.And on an entirely different note, there’s a good amount of potty training chat. Truly something for everybody in this episode.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [email protected]. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The House You Can Aggressively Have Access To
Luke is in the purgatory of British house-buying — a process his Wife He Has Access To finds baffling when you can apparently just kick a door in and claim land in Connecticut. Plus, Pete has been dragged into a six-quid Vinted dispute over some trousers that were definitely brown in the photo and has emerged victorious, slightly guilty, heartfelt hospital stories and a new genre of music called Egg Punk — *basically* as it sounds.Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [email protected]. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Chess and Chest Presses
Welcome, intrepid podcast traveller - good to have you with us. Let Pete regale you with tales of a near-death experience involving a 25-minute walk, getting a blister while dodging a man carrying a slab of MDF, and fancifully thinking about taking up boxing. We've all been there.Elsewhere, Luke continues to beat Pete at chess and will not let him forget it. Plus, retro video games we'll never finish, debating whether Pete Hegseth's bench press is impressive and Luke witnessing a catastrophically cringe question asked in front of a thousand people. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [email protected]. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.