You Can’t Lead Others If You Can’t Lead Yourself | Mary Howe
The Lonely Chapter · Sam Maclean
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Show Notes
Most of us are taught how to lead others. Very few of us are taught how to lead ourselves.
In this episode, I sit down with Mary Howe - former US Air Force AC-130 crew member and nurse - to explore self-leadership, resilience, and what it really means to take responsibility for your own growth.
Mary shares how growing up in a military family shaped her understanding of strength, service, and identity. We discuss joining the Air Force at 18, the structure and purpose she found in high-performance environments, and what happens when that structure disappears.
We unpack the military concept of the debrief - stepping back from your experiences, extracting lessons, and re-entering with clarity - and how this practice can help you navigate burnout, setbacks, and identity shifts. We also explore harsh self-talk, societal expectations, and why many of us demand more from ourselves than we would ever ask of someone we love.
This is a conversation about personal responsibility, resilience, and the quieter forms of leadership that begin within.
Connect with Mary:
Substack - https://marykatherinehowe.substack.com
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/_mary.katherinehowe/