The Lars Resort

Archie Rhind Tutt stops by the resort to explain why for Fulham fans beating Chelsea away was "our Everest", and why Fulham are kinda good.

The death star is fully broken, whereas Arne's Slot machine is paying out big.

The international window is a time to take stock. So I looked at many, many stats and came up with a barrage of tepid takes.

Turns out those articles may not have been fantasies and lies after all. And needless to say, I have fired up the Peter Welpton bat-signal to get some help processing all of this.

Peter is back! Because there have definitely not been enough podcasts this week about Man Utd being bad. But this one also includes stadium chat, seagull acrobatics and the many crimes of Tomas Repka.

Well that was fun wasn't it? The Big Game was dramatic and full of incident. Also, Spurs are better, Nicolas Jackson is scoring goals, West Ham are strange, and Man Utd do the opposite of their usual thing.

Arsenal's big derby win, Everton falling down again, long shots are good actaully, and Rashford's weird PR.

Peter returns to help dissect and digest the weekend's PL action.

Arsenal solid, Spurs relieved, Wolves routed and Brighton good. Also, the combine harvester of doom scores a very un-Pep-like hat-trick.

Chelsea continue to mystify, Spurs fall down in a very familiar way, other games just sorta happen.

It's that time of the year: The very very big season preview pod! Peter returns to help me out. We look at every team, and make a quick detour to the wacky zone at the end...

Arne Slot is in at Liverpool and Erik ten Hag is still in charge of Manchester United, so I've brought in the big Dutch brain of Michiel Jongsma to discuss his follicly challenged compatriots. And some other stuff.

At least that's what football seemed to be thinking, anyway. Spain are the European Champions, and deservedly so.

England are, somehow, in the final of Euro 2024. Underwhelming performances and late goals, are they Italy in disguise?

Hark and behold! Spain dismantle Didier Deschamps' dismal doomsday device! Kate Mason joins and adds some chaotic energy to the pod.

England are in the semis! Still not exactly good, but they were definitely less bad. And in the distance we hear the clip-clop of clogs as the Dutch march on.

Spain knock out hosts Germany after the latter fair to find an extra gear. France and Portugal serve up a pile of hot garbage, but France's tactic of not scoring goals continues to pay off.

The Euros are fun again! The xF was way up, with the Netherlands playing well and Austria - Turkey living up to expectations. Turkish football enjoyer Andy Brassell joins to help make sense of it all - and look ahead to the Quater-finals.

France and Portugal fail to impress yet manage to progress. And Cristiano Ronaldo, it's definitely getting weird.

England scrape by Slovakia. If the plan is to make the rest of Europe think they're very bad, the plan is going well. Meanwhile, Spain are brilliant and Georgia are out.

Germany stay in the race, Italy sink without a trace.

Pod favorite Peter Welpton returns to discuss the group stage and where it all goes from here. We wrestle a terrible line and some curious audio problems, but in the end it's mostly fine.

Georgia get their moment but Ukraine don't - even though Belgium are kinda bad.

France put themselves in trouble, England put us all to sleep. How about those Austrians though?

Italy go full Italy, and Spain - Albania just kinda happened. What did we learn?

Scotland are out, Germany top the group, but what we really care about is the fact that THE CURSE HAS BEEN LIFTED!

Yes, it happened again. Also: The Czechs continue to be Scandinavians in disguise, Turkey unlock themselves, and Belgium actually kicked the ball into the goal.

Well, some of that. Both Ukraine and Austria win. France and the Netherlands kinda stink up the place. Also, is our goalscorer feature cursed? (and if so, guess who we've cursed tomorrow..)

Spain are fabulous, Serbia are a rabble, and.. well.. England played. Or at least they attempted to. Much to unpack.

Not the most thrilling day, but there was at least some enjoyable chaos towards the end of Croatia - Albania. Also, the Swiss let themselves down with some factually inaccurate banter.

Georgia and Turkey bring the rizz, while Czechia bring some curiously Nordic vibes.

Well now. My dark horses fall to the much-dissed Romanians. Belgium do everything except kick the ball into the goal, and France are kinda fine. And, more importantly, Andy Brassell stops by the resort. Yes!

Both England and the Netherlands do just about enough, whereas Denmark get punished. Also: Ronald Koeman, ew.

Spain have less possession than their opponent for the first time in 137 years, or games. One of the two. Hungary underwhelm, Italy just.. whelm?

Euro 2024 has started! Or, well, at least one team has. Germany look sexy, Scotland look supine, and the Summer of Kai has commenced!

We've looked at the groups, now lets embark on some acts of wild and wanton speculation. Wahey!

Group F! The last group! My... favorite group? Maybe?

A new Belgium, a possible dark horse, and me being really quite negative about someone.

Group D! A tournament favorite, a bit of a dark horse, some other stuff. Pretty good group!

We've reached Group C, which can only mean one things... IS IT COMING HOME?!

The Group of Death?! Maybe, certainly the group of severe illness and significant woe - though this title is a little bit less catchy. Group B, here we come!

It's Euro preview time! Yey! Great success! First up: Group A! Which is... well... I mean it's not exactly the group of fire, is it? But off we go!

The Champions of Europe are... exactly who you thought it would be! It was a final that had, well, not everything, but it had some things!

What transfers would you like to see this summer? I asked giant football brain TK Karlsen for five picks, and brought five of my own.

It's that time of the year again: Our friend Peter is here to confront me with my terrible preseason predictions. Part 2.

It's that time of the year again: Our friend Peter is here to confront me with my terrible preseason predictions. Part 1.

The eminent Tor-Kristian Karlsen returns to help me make sense of recent developments on the managerial managerial merry-go-round. Poch out! Who in? What about United? Where does this leave De Zerbi? And what in the world is happening at Bayern? So many questions!

Peter is back, we talk Tottenham, United, numbers and Mr Slot's Weirdo Machine.

It's that time of the year again! International man of mystery and giant football brain Tor-Kristian Karlsen stops by the resort to talk about his annual list of the 39 best players in the world aged 21 and under, compiled for ESPN. Part 3 is all about the top 11.

It's that time of the year again! International man of mystery and giant football brain Tor-Kristian Karlsen stops by the resort to talk about his annual list of the 39 best players in the world aged 21 and under, compiled for ESPN. Part 2 takes in the players from 25th to 12th place...