The Greatest Generation

When the Enterprise finds an IKEA shuttlepod floating in space, they (what else?) bring it aboard for a closer inspection. What they find inside is a very tan, extremely well-rested clone of Captain Picard whose body, unlike the original Picard, does not respond well to stimulants. How will Wesley (the boy?) tell them apart? What's the cost of destroying a Galaxy-class starship? Why didn't Riker season his eggs before serving them? It's the episode where we bring booze to brunch! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When the crew beams a big pile of ship aboard, they decide to beam down to a planet with a frozen fart-based atmosphere to investigate. The DustBuster club quickly find themselves trapped in a nightmare vacation to Vegas. Is Worf behind the lack of door locks on the Enterprise? Is Picard's love of trashy novels distracting him from mounting a sincere rescue operation? Is playing along with a bad book the only way to escape it? It’s the episode where we declare that we’re here to defend democracy, not necessarily to practice it. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When the Enterprise crosses the neutral zone to touch dongles with another Galaxy-class ship, it soon becomes infected with a computer virus that threatens to kill everyone onboard. But rather than "turn it off, then turn it on," the crew troubleshoots the problem by doing a little light archaeology. Did the USS Yamato get infected by Nagilum? Does Wesley (the boy?) have a direct line to Captain Picard? What is a "Dirty Data"? It's the episode broadcast to you from Shimoda Corner! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Wesley meets an age-appropriate romantic partner, Picard is put in a foul mood. To make matters worse, the Enterprise’s 5 star Uber rating is at risk. While Worf and Dr. Pulaski have both met their match in a mean old lady, The Boy is going on dates and offering chocolate to his new friend, but she has a secret second ‘look’ that might be a deal breaker. Is Guinan the ship’s best counselor? Did the Sand People from Star Wars do VO work on this episode? Is Salia one of the aliens that left a big pile of Armus on Vagra II? It’s the episode where Wesley learns romantic karate from the masters. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When the Enterprise stops off at Starbase 173 for routine maintenance, Captain Picard reacquaints himself with an old flame hoping to JAG him off. But it's courtroom drama instead of bedroom action on the docket when a hotshot commander threatens to take Data apart to learn how he works. Is it possible that Riker has a better poker face than Data? Is busting a chair across a woman's teeth Picard's idea of sex? It's the episode where everyone gets a little "Moody Geordi". Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Riker takes a temp position on a Klingon ship, it’s ironically the Enterprise that contracts a venereal disease. While the Commander is attempting to arrange an interspecies three-way, the ship develops a rash and uncomfortable discharge. Fortunately, the sequel to Chaotic Bro is on the case. Will Wesley (the boy?) finally try vaping? Did that rust come from some bad decisions made in late-80s San Francisco? What does the Carfax report look like on the IKS Pagh? We might change the veto rule! This is madness! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When the Enterprise encounters a ship full of dead seniors, their immediate concern is the smell. Their investigation leads back to a science facility where experiments in genetics have taken a dangerous turn, creating a race of non GMO-free people. How many cans of soup can a starship hold? Is Star Trek anti-science? Is Chief O'Brien a con artist? It's the episode that has plenty of handrails! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Data's grandpa is diagnosed with an incurable illness, he doesn't express much grief, and in return, his grandpa steals his body and makes a play at immortality. It would have been a perfect plan, but the old man was set in his ways, and really doesn't know how to act in a modern, professional starship setting. Will the crew catch on that Data is once again not who he claims to be? Will Data's bad behavior get him locked up in Rura Penthe? Can he pass a Voight-Kampff test? It's the episode where the Star Trek trading cards prove that they're worth what you pay for them. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When the Enterprise has to transport Ginger Jesus to a peace negotiation between some ersatz Klingons, his sexual super-magnetism is a distraction for some of the crew. Their 5-star Uber rating is seemingly in the bag until his cadre of helpers is killed on an away mission, forcing the diplomat to talk only with his hands. Are these the worst alien effects we've seen? What's a job interview like for a bathroom attendant? Do they still have Pier 1 in the future? It's the episode where we return to Anybody Canyon! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When the world's shittiest Han Solo breaks down within hailing range of the Enterprise, the women of the ship are extremely hospitable to him. Meanwhile, Data is desperately trying to learn the secrets of comedy by playing the holodeck on fast forward. Then a bunch of squabbling aliens with extremely retrograde beliefs surrounding procreation and marriage beam aboard and somehow make Data's storyline seem fun by comparison. Is Worf in charge of keeping Riker's harem safe? Is Terri Hatcher playing her character from Desperate Housewives? Is a cigar just a cigar? It's the episode that dissects the frog, and we might not be equal to the challenge. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Data and Geordi get some down-time, they use it like no one else would: playing Sherlock Holmes on the Holodeck. But when Geordi sets the computer's difficulty settings to "All-Madden," Moriarty begins dropping bangers all over the ship, and has become an adversary more powerful than either of them expected. What is a warrior's hat? Is Dr. Pulaski a functional syntheholic? What does it sound like when Data takes a dump? It's the episode recorded in karate stance! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When the Enterprise finds a hole in space, nobody is more excited to explore it than Commander Riker, but after it envelops the ship, he (and everyone else) learns a powerful lesson about consent. Once inside, they're faced with an adversary acting like a six-year-old holding a magnifying glass over an ant colony. Will Captain Picard finally get his opportunity to go down with the ship? Will Ensign Haskell get another line of dialogue? Is Worf's holodeck routine even raunchier than the First Officer's? It's the episode where almost half of the jokes die (which is within acceptable limits)! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Counselor Troi becomes unexpectedly pregnant, the Enterprise crew has a ton of questions: "When did this happen? "Who's the father?" and "How quickly can we abort it?" Troi makes it clear she's keeping it, but there's no time for a baby shower because this baby grows so fast that it's born in only a few days. After another few days, it's tall enough to go on the rides at Disneyland! How big will this kid get? Where is Riker's "leaning wall" when he needs it? Why does Ben have a restraining order from the Olson twins? It's our season 2 premiere! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Data and Worf beam some popsicles aboard the Enterprise, the doctor thaws them out, which treats the whole ship to an unfrozen caveman legal drama. And that's not to mention all the starbases and outposts that are being disappeared, presumably by Romulans, along the edge of the Neutral Zone. Picard quickly gets to the end of his rope when one of his primeval passengers tries to get involved in galactic politics. Will Data and his new friend pick up any "pit woofies"? Will Troi manage her day well enough to be on the bridge for contact with hostile aliens? Will Worf ever learn to live in a world with locked doors? It's the last episode of the worst season of our favorite show, and we send it off in style! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Captain Picard's old friend sends him a "U up?" message in the middle of the night, it's enough to send the Enterprise back to Earth to investigate evidence of a Federation conspiracy. There, the crew is reunited with some familiar faces: Inspector General Dexter Remmick and Admiral Gregory "Roundhouse" Quinn. Does Dytallix B cause hair loss? Is Picard impervious to being "Picosby-ed"? Who keeps putting all these glass coffee tables on board starships? It's a super-sized podcast where we make the case for writing future Star Trek episodes! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Captain Picard's fencing match gets cut short by a bad case of deja vu, the Enterprise crew is forced to grapple with his romantic regrets, not to mention a temporal catastrophe that threatens the entire quadrant. Their investigation leads to a fringey German scientist, who married Picard's ex-girlfriend. Will Beverly's deep jealousy impact her obligation to keep the scientist alive? Is Data already old enough to need a reacher-grabber? Will the captain finally have a sexual encounter with a consenting adult? It's the episode where we discover that we'd be great future accordion players! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Counselor Troi's driver puts their shuttlecraft into a ditch on planet Vagra II, it's up to the Enterprise to play the part of AAA. It's just too bad that Armus is there, blocking their way and being a real jerk about it. Did Worf hedge his bet on Tasha Yar? Why are business trip conferences still a thing in the future? Did Leland T. Lynch "Argyle" himself off the show? It's the episode where we turn tragedy into comedy! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When NPR turns us down for a Sunday slot, we turn our attention to the most egregious episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation that Nancy Reagan ever wrote. The Enterprise once again is playing host to squabbling aliens, but this time the shifty rednecks come with a twist: they're hooked on drugs. Bad drugs. Will the glittery Aryans get high on their own supply? Can Tasha Yar persuade Wesley (The Boy?) to keep on the straight and narrow? What would the Prime Directive have to say about the CIA supplying crack to the inner cities? It's the episode with one of the most abstract Drunk Shimodas yet! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When the Enterprise is sent to look for the missing USS Drake, Commander Riker is stoked to meet up with an old friend of his from Degrassi High. Unfortunately, when an away team searches for clues on a nearby planet, they discover that ship and crew were killed not by boring rap music, but by a sophisticated weapons system built out of sex toys. How does Captain Picard know parkour? Why is Vincent Schiavelli so great in everything he's in? Will Geordi be happy to know that Dr. Crusher knows so much about roots? This is one episode that's not expendable! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When the Enterprise discovers a busted up freighter in the Neutral Zone, they find the only surviving passengers are some Klingons who are far from neutral. These survivors follow the well known convention that any group of three Klingons have to have names that start with K, which is why Worf doesn't quite fit in with them. Worf's inner struggle becomes outer struggle as the survivors commit party foul after party foul all over the ship. What parts of the Klingon uniform are secretly weapon components? Why does Worf keep yelling at the ceiling when Klingons die? Where's Troi? And what should the crew do with all these bodies? It's the first episode to really test whether we can make good pod about good show. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Wesley Crusher (the boy?) begins his Starfleet entrance exams, he's got two things on his mind: overcoming his greatest fear, and overcoming a terrible Pee-wee Herman-style haircut. Meanwhile, on the Enterprise, Admiral Quinn and Lieutenant Commander Remmick are investigating a possible conspiracy, and pissing off the crew in the process. Is "The Riker Maneuver" mostly about testicular health? What is the punishment for Grand Theft Shuttlecraft? And just what the hell is a sher-RAHHHHD? It's our final episode before NPR syndication! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Terraforming hasn't had this big a PR problem since the Genesis Project! The Enterprise crew arrives at Valera III for a science lecture, but wind up mounting an investigation into murder most foul, with the chief suspect being a brilliant scientist (whose resemblance to a Bond villain is more than skin deep). The shocking truth is revealed when Geordi and Data look down a deep hole without Riker there to show them the ropes. When the indigenous life form of Velara III gets to set trippin' with the ship, it inspires your micro-brained hosts to air out their frustrations about Internet commenters mentioning other Star Trek podcasts. It's the episode where Adam and Ben start a rap feud with another show! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The Enterprise crew is excited to meet the mythical Aldeans until they propose a classic "children for information" exchange, but when Commander Riker balks at the deal they take some kids anyway. This is a real problem for Captain Picard, because Wesley (the boy?) is among their victims. Why'd the Aldeans take only the white kids? How long can Picard go without Wesley? Didn't we already fix the ozone layer? It's the episode where there's no calculus allowed! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Admiral Mark Jameson has one last job before he gets out of the Federation for good: negotiate the rescue of some hostages from his arch enemy. Jameson's just got one problem: he's weighed down by tons of silly putty that's been troweled onto his face. Fortunately, an alien de-aging drug has him getting younger (and sweatier) by the minute. Will the despotic Karnas believe that Jameson is who he claims to be? Can Picard and the crew ever trust Starfleet if their top brass is made of melting strawberry yogurt? And what's it like to go a little too hard with pills at a hipster dance party? We answer these questions, plus Adam tells a shameful story about the time he invested in Star Trek trading cards. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When the Enterprise pulls into a starbase for some maintenance, the Bynars are there to help with some Holodeck upgrades - which Commander Riker is all too keen to experience first hand. Unfortunately, Captain Picard crashes his party, and it turns out three is too many for Riker's 'bone. Meanwhile, the Bynars have taken the ship on a test drive back to their homeworld, with Picard and Riker becoming accidental stowaways. Will we ever know what's in the weapon's room? Why isn't it harder to set the self-destruct sequence on a starship? And why can't Starbase 74 keep their ships from being stolen? It's the episode where we unequivocally define "moose knuckle," once and for all! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Riker never had it so good when he and the away team arrive on Angel One, a planet of statuesque babes and feeble mini-men who could never fight in his weight class. But trouble is brewing as a handful of Federation citizens have shacked up with the local gals, putting Picard in a tough position as far as the Prime Directive is concerned. Speaking of positions, Riker is going through his repertoire with Sarah Connor, the smoldering demagogue that runs the whole planet. Will Wesley (the boy) get in trouble for beaning Picard with a snowball? Will Worf's sneezes break the ship? Can Picard pry Riker away from the planet-sized sexual conquest of all sexual conquests? It's the episode where we argue about Federation immigration policy! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When the away team beams down to the charred ruins of a desolate planet, they find body parts strewn everywhere that end up belonging to Data's twin brother, Lore. After assembling him they find out that like all pairs of twins, one is good and one is evil. But after giving Lore the full, unsupervised run of his ship, Picard is most concerned with Data's loyalty. The crew needs to figure out whose side he's on fast, because there's a glass pinecone that is bent on destroying the ship. Will Tasha Yar sleep with Lore, too? Will killing a tree save them? It's the episode where we finally inherit the "Shut up, Wesley!" drop (and relay a story we heard about our favorite actor, Biff Yeager)! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Captain Picard has a big linguistics test to study for, he decides to procrastinate in the holodeck instead. Disappointing everyone, he chooses a program about a 1940's-era private detective, so Data, Dr. Crusher, and a random crew member join him. Turns out, there's a malfunction and people in the holodeck aren't shooting blanks anymore, which would be a real problem if Picard had been able to get Beverly up on his desk like he wanted to. Will the Enterprise ever fix the door problem? What does holodeck gum even taste like? It's the episode where we give everyone a little dusting of Drunk Shimoda. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Wyatt (the guy from the music video for "Take On Me") beams aboard the Enterprise to marry Counselor Troi, Commander Riker realizes that he won't "be gone in a day," and it really puts him in a foul mood. It doesn't help that Troi's mother is getting into people's heads, and the combination of Wyatt's creepy Glamour Shots-style drawings and the arrival of an alien ship mean that the wedding plans are off the rails in a hurry. What is "80's hot" anyway? Does big hair qualify as formal attire? Can Troi's mom see inside Riker's head, and does she want to? It's the most 80's episode yet, and we're forced to review it! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Q returns to amuse himself with the Enterprise crew, all hell breaks loose when he gives Riker his powers. Why doesn't Riker immediately return to Rubicun III to make himself god of the Edo? Why does Geordi have to be so damn creepy? What is Worf's idea of sex, anyway? And finally, we do something with our episode vetoes. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Captain Picard abandons a perfectly good ship full of Pelican cases, the Ferengi are nice enough to return it to him. Meanwhile, he's reminded of an old crime (which has nothing to do with Wesley), and gets a massive headache in the process. Finally, we introduce the "Picosby," and nothing is ever the same. Be sure to listen all the way to the end for a brand new listener-submitted Drunk Shimoda song! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When the crew takes shore leave on a planet inhabited entirely by late night Cinemax adult movie stars, it appears to be a bouncy, floppy paradise for the away team. Too bad Wesley (the boy?) learns the hard way about how much these people care about landscaping. It's an episode that leaves almost nothing to the imagination! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Worf gets shocked working on an electrical panel, he learns a hard lesson about what happens when you try to do a union guy's job. Meanwhile, a bunch of Cantina Aliens are exploiting the "no door locks" policy on the Enterprise. Later, Data takes up smoking a pipe, and Picard demonstrates the advantages of backing up his information into the cloud. Endings don't get more abrupt, especially for Engineer Singh. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When the Enterprise crew throws the keys to the ship to The Traveler, he drives it farther out than its ever been before. That is not cool to Captain Picard, who wants to go home immediately. That bit of engineering would be a whole lot easier for The Traveler if he didn't also have lobster-hands. Finally, Ben makes an embarrassing admission about his relationship to Wesley that could change our view of him forever. It's the episode where we finally realize our potential as the two Beethovens of podcasting! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The Ferengi do an e-brake slide into the series (and into our hearts) after the show finally adds to the alien facial putty budget. Meanwhile Riker, having just read The Art of War, will not shut up about it. And when he grabs some alone time on the planet's surface, it becomes clear that the planet is attracted to all sources of power...even his. It's an episode where we've finally achieved "podcast mastery"! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Tasha Yar inadvertently breaks up a happy marriage, then gets into a UFC-style fight to the death with "the other woman." If that story isn't intriguing enough, it's also terribly racist! Also, why is everyone okay with kidnapping? Where is Worf? Finally, we discuss names for a website we don't need or want. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The Enterprise crew gets "space drunk" while young Wesley Crusher's science experiment traps him and Assistant Chief Engineer Shimoda inside Engineering. Will the crew stop boning each other long enough to save the ship? Is the "scarf economy" real? Why hasn't this show been cancelled yet? All these topics, and more, on The Greatest Generation. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Our premier episode as we set out on our journey to watch every episode of Star Trek The Next Generation. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.