The Dick Show

The Ballad of LA Phil, Cab Calloway's corpse and the Chicago scat man championships, John Stamos is a terrible singer, Cupboards are a scam, Boneitis draws my fursona, the Great Pyramid according to Bill Guy, how to flip eggs over easy, Kevin Spacey puts a stop to a pretend female president, Madame Nash calls in with a meme-based game--and then calls back again to complain about it, some facts about Cuck Norris, Jamie and Layc sit next to each other, a very bitter loss against the Houston Astros, annoying girls who have alcoholism, noisy windshield wipers, and Sean gets a T-shirt; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Banned from Twitter, shoulder nipples on leather jackets, corporate birthday wishes, Randy's too-hard high-fives, Coach builds a step, internalizing authority, Adam Nash calls in, how to eat a cinderblock, modern infomercials, my new cereal, a DickHead in the publishing industry, Blaire Witch urinal positions, and Bitcoins; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

"F*ck Whales" bombs, the economics of publishing, #MeToo Musical Chairs, a sure-fire fix for power-tripping policemen, Crocodile Dundude hunts the Australian Internet Outback for book sales, Madcucks returns for Road Rage: Chicago, shutting down crosswalks for children, several songs about cucks, cutesy error messages, the Lena Dunham meme hero, the trans Playboy issue, blurring lines, misremembering the A-Team, and I'm writing a new book; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Road Rage: Los Angeles, the Boy Scouts' new crappy merit badges, upgraded security measures, the time Sean and I triggered an overly protective father, promise rings, Bill Guy the Science Dude takes questions, Demolition Man trivia, DIY Sisyphus and the endless Home Depot trip, the purpose of sphincters, building stairs, man-scratching posts, the precariousness of the 19th amendment, fistfights at the show, the offensive line at the show, stage dives at the show, the Biggest Problem Lost Episode giveaway, a very uncomfortable investigation, and fan favorites turning heel; all that and more this week on The Dick Show.

Gun Week, Shark Week, GIF vs. JIF, why everything is "toxic", give me a hobby or give me death, the gratuitous lols of online creeps, Schrödinger's Racist, not taking chick sports reporters seriously enough, a flowchart of crappy gun arguments, the time I got Harvey Weinerstein'ed, Bill Guy the Science Dude is back, the lackluster money shot of a Rick and Morty finale, the Wheel of Fortune National Anthem, Maddox misses a trademark deadline, wedding invitations, a new way to talk to people, and the average man is illegal; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The season of obligations begins, I send Peach to the hospital, being a ghost vs. being a man, a libertarian haunted house, an apology cryptocurrency, front-of-the-line passes, Japanese suicide phones, men holding hands under any circumstance, the Sean hentai challenge, my Rick and Morty prediction, Lowtax gets banned from Twitter, Sean's secret Instagram account, a shocking revelation by Peach that upstages my erotic story, smart soda machines, anti-robites and the curse of the blue collar opiate addiction, and Captain Jackass with Hooker News from Facebook; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

"What have you been up to?", soft water, the National Anthem and the un-skippable cut scene, defending a woman's honor, Mr. Fancypants does a bad job pitching his novel, Denzel songs, Asterios vs. Madcucks, the Dick Show calendar, life in low-definition, High School Musicals, Facebook News, Christian Ronaldo fighting muggers, Lacy's non-existent ideal man, and the crisis of leverage; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The scourge of phony lollers, real life cupcake wars, sex vs. a hangover, picky garbage men, [email protected] gets a hit, the slow death, the kid with better stuff than you, Sam Hyde's War on Pornography, several musical tributes to Sean's D, condensation and condescension, organic comedy supplements, Choose Your Own Adventure books, Goss Squad interviews Asterios Kokkinos, Asterios' School of Satire, Denzel makes a girl cry, and Sean doesn't get Family Guy pornography; all that and more this week on the Dick Show!

Modern church and the devil of incompetence, the volume box on your iPhone, Sean's Dingus Fantasy Football Team, people who throw beachballs over the side at baseball games, putting an end to that Ed Sheeran song, girls who are worried about looking "too buff", drunk time traveling, gay detecting computers in the Middle East, Madcucks-gestions on how to interview, auto-playing news videos, customer service at Pornhub, Matt Miller Ink, and the live show tattoo; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Sean's performance review/birthday, ROAD RAGE: LOS ANGELES, fire alarms make me wish I was burning to death, Rocketman and asteroid mining, Steve Hofstetter, comedian pilots, airport bean bags, I don't know what is a parsec, Asterios' alt-right business ideas, Hazencruz's fat girls on Tinder song, package thieves and Jokey Smurf, The Indiana Jones Leather Man BAG network, Trump Sci-Fi, an acceptable reason to abandon your family, pee arguments, the tipping point of a hangover, taking a plane crash to he face, and problems with The Red Cross; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Hurricane Hindsight and the party of the century, Back to School and the orgy of the matriarchy, using the F-bomb on TV, Mr. Fancypants in studio, the Super Nintendo f'ed in the a machine, the Black Experience, Gab's ICO and Andrew Torba calls in, seppuku for IT blunders, sacrificing virgins, PSA for moms: the triple parentheses, the secret of the meme factory, a monster truck rally, terrible wedding gifts, the fake boob blathering drunk stare, an erotic story resolution, The LA Live Show, the causes of the Civil War, and a completely new way to pee incorrectly; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A really bad mood, a plethora of positive platitudes, throat bubbles, the stupid eclipse, UTIs or UT-lies, the Confederacy, a parody song from Hazencruz, a flatulent erotic story, virtual book burning, theme park revisionism and the eternal present, Nazis and chicks looking for free dinners, Mayweather v. McGregor, me v. The Mystery Box, the time I tried to make a movie with Edward James Olmos, the masterpeen, Mexican vocabulary, the LA show, a voicemail threatens to destroy me, and a doctoral thesis in armchair psychology when a girl wants to look at your phone; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The worst thing politicians do, a call from a fake policeman, Nazis and tiki torches, Asterios' birthday cuck cake,The Dukes of Hazzard, Aydin Paladin vs. Asterios, boobs on a battleship, trans in the military, America's imaginary stupid baby, the pressure cooker, the world's dumbest fans, another leak, racist carbon credits, and heroes; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Rage math, fat mannequins, my man moves to Abu Dhabi, fit models for your fly, getting stranded, the world's most fun car, surprise parties, Target vs. CVS, an existential crisis over a cute waitress, a weight loss tip you've never heard before, making out with beer, Google's War on Engineers, and the show gets a producer; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Colored pens, not noticing the waiter bringing your food, an update on Count Dankula, Mister Metokur calls in, 20 questions on checkout, brand new car door dings, AM I BEING DETAINED, Larry's poop chip, dating with HSV2, a studio-only towel, an animatronic pile of failure, punchable voices, the Manifest Observable Behavior rule or M.O.B. rule for short, diaper furries and degeneracy, escape rooms, losing a thumb, and girls not understanding deep philosophical ish; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Count Dankula: The Nazi Pug Guy, big-leaguing at the symphony, praying for bluetooth, Aspartame Alarmists, The Argument Tamagotchi, the worst part about prison, a Comic-Con prank, child free and happier than can be conceived by mortals, the press, Asterios' band, my simple plan to stop the next Hitler, a lost box of guns, Jamie Lynn talks about spanking, farting on airplanes, brainwashing, a gerry-rigged air conditioner, why Comic-con is a gigantic waste of money, booth-based ToS violations, sensible chuckle-fests, dealing with blackout guilt, and a disagreement with Sean; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Souvenir cups, free water, Defensive Architecture, head banging while banging, Lowtax's new podcast: Murder the Internet, Denzel does yoga, my spoon collection, WarOfTheFanBoys disavows Cat Girl, how my dad handles stock tips, "Kian Magaña", performance art, Nick Offerman, being hit on the shin by a bike pedal, sister twister guilt, the front of your wiener, more on the Wiener Republic, Lettuce Jones is free, and I am accosted by a zombie DickHead; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Manstagram, interventions, reverse devil horns, escaping Jimmy Fallon at the gas pump, Lacy's Instagram predictions, a condom allergy, the capacity for love, the male pill, car dealerships, tearing off the protective covers on electronics, sounds to make when you climax, Kim Jung Un, the anti-hero for our age, and a very "artistic" erotic story; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Democracy Gap, Cody Wilson: Ghost Gunner, disrupting the military, my mom negotiating, unsatisfactory citizenship, Larry's Poop Chips, The Biggest Problem in the Universe Trademark opposition, hot chick methadone, how to get into college, Poe's Law, business beanies, and Madcucks vs Existence #3; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Sunburns, all-night crossword puzzles, eating things off the ground, the Dalai Lama, non-specificity, the world's oldest millennial, an inexhaustible desire to do things, cast-a-net cat calls, Tim Pool's beanie, kiss-the-ring journalism, The Buffalo Bills, horn-o-phobia, craft beer snobs, trophies, nighttime birds, what Sean doesn't agree on, the Chicken McNuggets eating contest, and Jamie Lynn Hughes reads the news; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

What happened in court, the tyranny of the suggestion box, my theory of aiming, for whom the system works, top billing, who won the Asterios/WarOfTheFanBoys fight, Katherine the cat girl, how debt makes you a child, several chewings out, stepping in water with your socks, hearing the lamentations of their women, the world's greatest hero, and the evil Rod Serling in men; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

What not to wear to court, graduation speeches are the devil, people who walk without purpose, my dad takes questions from Twitter and talks about Longmire, the Asterios vs. WarOfTheFanBoys call that launched a thousand ships, a Patreon warning email, restraining orders for civil harassment, a different audio engineer, Letters from Sean: Part 3, Cuck Hunt, Marble Madness, slow walkers getting hit by cars, the Man in Black and la Flama Blanca, a very, very drunken rant about gun rights, and maybe the worst hangover in the history of the show; all that and much more this week on The Dick Show!

Fishing for nothing, Sean's uncle the spy, finding places to bang, reality news, the crass anachronism of judgement, the final Tim Changzzzzz pitch, unisex names, an announcement from the Science Justice Warrior, a vacation with children, LEGO men, turn stealing, apology tours, Joel Chaco's beef with me, littering and, more of Tammy's Laugh Therapy, auctioning school, hell is other people, handicap french fries, Maxwell The Silver Hammer's pregnancy scare, and trivia to pull your teeth; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The time I drank too much on a huge podcast, Madcucks goes to an LA art show, a dramatic re-enactment of the Waut3rgate leaks, Maddox the job terrorism, the $15 minimum wage, an apology from McDonald's, three months to live for one DickHead, Juan's questions from Facebook, gay bars, Thomas Jefferson, gadgets that I want to bang, the Goss Squad vs. Asterios Kokkinos, the Street Fighter challenge returns, and Lettuce Jones can't get a straight answer; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A Maui look-a-like contest, a hula dancing festival, a regional liquor contest, Diet Coke Armageddon, proof of Kung Fu Tommy, more questions for Coach, how to make a noose, playing with bear spray, beating my girlfriend on Twitch, DIY home defense, throwing away kids' toys, an erotic story from a real man, the tyranny of fake gasps, Madcucks gives a weak book update, what to do with THE LETTER, the heart rate monitor, the best beer combo, a soft I told you so, and a sudden power outage; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Vietnamese man who taught me how to fight, Sean's wedding story, the redaction of a lifetime, false HR complaints, Twitch addiction, Sean's last fist fight, Asterios' Butterbean training regimen, Uber pools, Reverend Scott, compliance, phone calls with dogs, my man is moving to Abu Dhabi, Don't Legalize It, Van Halen, The Goss Squad, Fool's Liquor Round 2, sharing, crying, and like ten hours of podcasting; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A Day of Interrupting, television addiction, Big Breakfast is killing you, Sean's voice is killing you, Asterios vs. WarOfTheFanBoys, the billboard, The Dick Show sends an autism to Cannes, being on Gavin McInnes, pointless research on gender binaries, cringe-ophobia, airlines and my biggest fantasy, the adventures of Cadyver, Phteven's various side businesses, Dustin's first bit, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the time Tucker Max hit on my girlfriend, whatever happened to Lettuce Jones, Layc is single, and Sean interrupts me while I'm working it; all that and more this week on The Dick Show.

Secondary Audio Programming, the Science Justice Warrior, the failures of high school Spanish, getting fat, how many lies it takes to save the world, a Trump pinata knife altercation, fool's liquor, Dustin's man-on-the-street bit, apostrophe's, women and their purses, Consuelo's Cinco de Mayo podcast, three-act emasculation, taking ten minutes to say goodbye, headrest hunchbacks, the panicked phone calls of a county run-off, the next two Road Rage cities, Sean gets a Star Trek shirt, I get a pen, and Madcucks gets a podcast; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Road Rage: Philly and the people who got kicked out, your brain the drug dealer, how to buy beer, Asterios' Dustin smack-down, an army of Seans, The Leviathan, Ken M and civil discourse on the Internet, dress codes, Sean reacts to the live show, a mod from The_Donald teases us with his Trump sci-fi novel, chicks who love Disneyland, The Matrix reboot, ATM fees, rock climbers and other people I want to punch in the mouth, Ken M gets banned from The_Donald live, someone borrows a lighter from Asterios, the Science Friction podcast, Digibro and his robe and his associates, The Dick Show jazz remix, and Juan the Road Rage Champ; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Joshua Tree, my plan for Philly, selling t-shirts, folding tents, friendly Australians and their drive-by G'days, the true test of camping, "Sean answers", Peach demonstrates how to hug properly, Coach eats some chocolate, bad wedding toasts, my The_Donald AMAA, Coach borrows my parents' truck, Peach "finds" my diary, 80s girl saves someone's life, more laugh tracks, Maddox's book title: the Biggest Rehash in the Universe, and all of Los Angeles loses its internet; all that and more this week on The Dick Show! Read more at dick.show

Preventing late podcasts, Liquor pacing, Madcucks vs Existence #2, Dodger's opening day, Buckley's edible hat, stealing from the rich and giving to myself, Randy's smooth-talking, bad neighbors, why Buckley was banned from the delivery room, Ginger Ale's hand-drawn tattoo, The Five-Life, girl and boy cartoon shows, hot chicks farting on planes, the Middle East is a money pit, Sam Glaze, My Room Records, Laughter Therapy with Sean, the biggest prank in the universe, The Best Book in the Universe, and the most 2.5 million downloads in the universe; all that and more this week on The Dick Show! Episode 45

Download the MP3 Losing count of beers, family reunions, ruining talent shows, Lowtax's weird audio, the confusion of ubiquitous content, farmers, rental car insurance and other scams, line cutters, the time Sean was a rock star, Asterios' roommate, April Fools pranks, houses that you build yourself, more on the billboard, more on Philly, more Goss, … Continue reading "Episode 44 – Dick on Talent Shows" The post Episode 44 – Dick on Talent Shows appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The clap, the Dick Show Tattoo, pranks, the mayor of chick town, the Dickbute, the creators of the 8chan list, another nonsensical rant about healthcare, Denzel can't skate, morons at intersections, "letting you go" and workplace suggesters, an invasion of space aliens, NHS, fraud, Loudmouth Leah, a Road Rage update, a billboard … Continue reading "Episode 43 – Dick on Pranks" The post Episode 43 – Dick on Pranks appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The Billboard Prank, squirrel farts, getting locked out of Twitter, Philly sells out in three hours–SO WE GET A BIGGER VENUE, manspreading at the gym, Larry's secret petting zoo, cat yoga, party ghosts, time wasters and the time police, hockey, real talk with customer service, the mid-life crisis of fifth graders, Power … Continue reading "Episode 42 – Dick on Timeout" The post Episode 42 – Dick on Timeout appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Madcucks vs. Existence, another #1 hit, Lowtax eats a hamburger, our favorite memes, trademark disputes, there are no jokes on the internet, someone threw away all my Pogs, Sean finally is a rage, Uwe Boll the jerk, I offer a bounty for the He Will Not Divide Us flag, wasting Randy's time … Continue reading "Episode 41 – Dick on Madcucks" The post Episode 41 – Dick on Madcucks appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 A Day Without a Woman, Flasks: can't live with em, can't live without em, people who live in bath houses shouldn't throw soap, Madcucks defends Madbux, Sean's favorite Star Trek, a Menards update, Lettuce Jones calls from prison, the official Billboard charts, Project: Episode 108, a dick mold bet, a dick pic … Continue reading "Episode 40 – Dick on Women on Strike" The post Episode 40 – Dick on Women on Strike appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 If the moon landing was a joke, a plan comes together, DIY glow in the dark pee, Seder pranks, period boobs, Lent, "Santa Cuck: Bald Headed Lies" becomes immortal, the science of spite, the organ of shame, hot chicks making goofy faces, the lazy gods among us, Consuelo's final podcast, beating Adele, … Continue reading "Episode 39 – Dick on Santa Cuck" The post Episode 39 – Dick on Santa Cuck appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Boner mysteries, iPhone Hawks, Bad Psychologists, Harmful Opinions, Cards Against Humanity, making your mom sleep in the car, anime, degeneracy, a new erotic stories bumper, Star Trek shrines, the evolution of the human mind, in defense of Madcucks, in defense of Dustin, in defense of America, The Consuelo Podcast, to Menards or … Continue reading "Episode 38 – Dick on Harmful Opinions" The post Episode 38 – Dick on Harmful Opinions appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The war on white people, Dr. Manhattan's dong, drunk children, a Shangri-La of hot, available women, a parade of the awkward and a life spent trying not to hurt people, Clegg blames me for everything, violence in bars, stories from the trolling front lines, The Enigma rides again, more pieces of the … Continue reading "Episode 37 – Dick on Skating" The post Episode 37 – Dick on Skating appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 A legacy of cables, the stormtroopers of the anti-fascist league, Consuelo's podcast, a bonus episode from an alternative dimension, opinions from people who've never punched anyone, investing tips from a guy whose car is zip tied together, Layc reads the news, in-studio fertility testing, evidence of crying, the post-episode 77 sit down, … Continue reading "Episode 36 – Dick on Cables" The post Episode 36 – Dick on Cables appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Crying in front of other men, a strip club ghost town, The Delete-o Bantido rides again, Peach Saliva and her extremely inappropriate fan fiction, a DickHead divides Shia LaBeouf, getting your money back, peeing sitting down, liquor gravity, Sean gets legit upset, The Dick Show RPG, a meteor of money, a hot … Continue reading "Episode 35 – Dick on Peach" The post Episode 35 – Dick on Peach appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Mayhem in the suburbs, training manuals I am in, a DickHead goes to Washington, email threats, Liarexia, I bring in a stats, those stupid chips on new credit cards, Liquor Event Horizon, comedian Justin Rupple, Vince Vaughn gives Maddox a pep talk about his dying brand, the many ways women steal your … Continue reading "Episode 34 – Dick on Credit Card Chips" The post Episode 34 – Dick on Credit Card Chips appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Burn school, the kiss of death, the time I ruined my dad's new car, threesomes with Alexa, Golden Shower arguments, I know I am but what am I, an erotic story two for one, the death of Optimus Prime, 24-hour news cycles, Santa Cuck and the Season of Cucksmas, a Lucie Wilde … Continue reading "Episode 33 – Dick on Shaved Ice" The post Episode 33 – Dick on Shaved Ice appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Patreon ruins what's left of my personal and professional reputation, my car becomes an underbuggy, I get the worst news of my life, Sean gets a Paraguayan hype man, wauterboi drops his new album, spells his name, and talks about his mom's birds, The Rage Board has a new champion, saying Excuse … Continue reading "Episode 32 – Dick on Accidental Pornography" The post Episode 32 – Dick on Accidental Pornography appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 I get kicked out of a bar with Rocket Man, Sean watches golf, we plan a World War II re-enactment, Oktoberfest, Asterios makes a staggering bet regarding his ex-wife, Peach Saliva calls in to chew someone out, a bouncer gets his penis touched, Lettuce Jones tells us why he's going to jail, … Continue reading "Episode 31 – Dick on Dreams" The post Episode 31 – Dick on Dreams appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 How I ruined Christmas, Sean sends more letters from the battlefield, how to get away with anything, highschool, Madcucks loses his temper, exotic presents from the far East, what exactly is the problem with church, a nationwide database of viruses, a sure-fire gambling system that the casinos don't want you to know … Continue reading "Episode 30 – Dick on Ruining Christmas" The post Episode 30 – Dick on Ruining Christmas appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 My Life Coach ruins my Christmas party, a SECRET SKETCH from Sam Hyde, the Jerk-Off Time Warp, the drive to pee outside, thinking like a hot chick, crossing guards, lady-dentists and why they are out to get you, Tequila, how to ruin a Ted Talk, Charity Regret, eliminating all prisons, The Apple … Continue reading "Episode 29 – Dick on World Peace" The post Episode 29 – Dick on World Peace appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The Eve from Wall-E toilet, Sean is gone, way too much popcorn, Denzel's non-sequitur trash talking, MadCucks defends his network, the Golden Goose of Goss, F is for Feminism, The War on Drugs vs. Automatic Updates, Lettuce Jones' big reveal to reveal, Cameron Hermens melts down, and Hollywood Randy busts balls; all … Continue reading "Episode 28 – Dick on The Toilet" The post Episode 28 – Dick on The Toilet appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The Booger Bandit, sweet-talking movers, bedroom starfish, the Country Mouse and the Shitty Mouse, pizza Jesus, Sean and his raise and also many sexual exploits, the time I was ejected from a Flight of the Conchords concert, Maddox and his shitty Gildan T-shirts, more celebrities call in, using technology to stop bed … Continue reading "Episode 27 – Dick on Moving" The post Episode 27 – Dick on Moving appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Blernsday and the 30-hour work week, BCC mistakes and the chamber of shame, Castro's diaper, dating a Blackula, cowboy dick pics, the shitty Gildan T-shirts that Maddox sells in his store to make an extra buck, Tooth Fairy Truthers, The Rage Lottery: two men enter one man leaves, celebrities call in with … Continue reading "Episode 26 – Dick on Santa" The post Episode 26 – Dick on Santa appeared first on The Dick Show.