The Dick Show

Colored pens, not noticing the waiter bringing your food, an update on Count Dankula, Mister Metokur calls in, 20 questions on checkout, brand new car door dings, AM I BEING DETAINED, Larry's poop chip, dating with HSV2, a studio-only towel, an animatronic pile of failure, punchable voices, the Manifest Observable Behavior rule or M.O.B. rule for short, diaper furries and degeneracy, escape rooms, losing a thumb, and girls not understanding deep philosophical ish; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Count Dankula: The Nazi Pug Guy, big-leaguing at the symphony, praying for bluetooth, Aspartame Alarmists, The Argument Tamagotchi, the worst part about prison, a Comic-Con prank, child free and happier than can be conceived by mortals, the press, Asterios' band, my simple plan to stop the next Hitler, a lost box of guns, Jamie Lynn talks about spanking, farting on airplanes, brainwashing, a gerry-rigged air conditioner, why Comic-con is a gigantic waste of money, booth-based ToS violations, sensible chuckle-fests, dealing with blackout guilt, and a disagreement with Sean; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Souvenir cups, free water, Defensive Architecture, head banging while banging, Lowtax's new podcast: Murder the Internet, Denzel does yoga, my spoon collection, WarOfTheFanBoys disavows Cat Girl, how my dad handles stock tips, "Kian Magaña", performance art, Nick Offerman, being hit on the shin by a bike pedal, sister twister guilt, the front of your wiener, more on the Wiener Republic, Lettuce Jones is free, and I am accosted by a zombie DickHead; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Manstagram, interventions, reverse devil horns, escaping Jimmy Fallon at the gas pump, Lacy's Instagram predictions, a condom allergy, the capacity for love, the male pill, car dealerships, tearing off the protective covers on electronics, sounds to make when you climax, Kim Jung Un, the anti-hero for our age, and a very "artistic" erotic story; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Democracy Gap, Cody Wilson: Ghost Gunner, disrupting the military, my mom negotiating, unsatisfactory citizenship, Larry's Poop Chips, The Biggest Problem in the Universe Trademark opposition, hot chick methadone, how to get into college, Poe's Law, business beanies, and Madcucks vs Existence #3; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Sunburns, all-night crossword puzzles, eating things off the ground, the Dalai Lama, non-specificity, the world's oldest millennial, an inexhaustible desire to do things, cast-a-net cat calls, Tim Pool's beanie, kiss-the-ring journalism, The Buffalo Bills, horn-o-phobia, craft beer snobs, trophies, nighttime birds, what Sean doesn't agree on, the Chicken McNuggets eating contest, and Jamie Lynn Hughes reads the news; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

What happened in court, the tyranny of the suggestion box, my theory of aiming, for whom the system works, top billing, who won the Asterios/WarOfTheFanBoys fight, Katherine the cat girl, how debt makes you a child, several chewings out, stepping in water with your socks, hearing the lamentations of their women, the world's greatest hero, and the evil Rod Serling in men; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

What not to wear to court, graduation speeches are the devil, people who walk without purpose, my dad takes questions from Twitter and talks about Longmire, the Asterios vs. WarOfTheFanBoys call that launched a thousand ships, a Patreon warning email, restraining orders for civil harassment, a different audio engineer, Letters from Sean: Part 3, Cuck Hunt, Marble Madness, slow walkers getting hit by cars, the Man in Black and la Flama Blanca, a very, very drunken rant about gun rights, and maybe the worst hangover in the history of the show; all that and much more this week on The Dick Show!

Fishing for nothing, Sean's uncle the spy, finding places to bang, reality news, the crass anachronism of judgement, the final Tim Changzzzzz pitch, unisex names, an announcement from the Science Justice Warrior, a vacation with children, LEGO men, turn stealing, apology tours, Joel Chaco's beef with me, littering and, more of Tammy's Laugh Therapy, auctioning school, hell is other people, handicap french fries, Maxwell The Silver Hammer's pregnancy scare, and trivia to pull your teeth; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The time I drank too much on a huge podcast, Madcucks goes to an LA art show, a dramatic re-enactment of the Waut3rgate leaks, Maddox the job terrorism, the $15 minimum wage, an apology from McDonald's, three months to live for one DickHead, Juan's questions from Facebook, gay bars, Thomas Jefferson, gadgets that I want to bang, the Goss Squad vs. Asterios Kokkinos, the Street Fighter challenge returns, and Lettuce Jones can't get a straight answer; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A Maui look-a-like contest, a hula dancing festival, a regional liquor contest, Diet Coke Armageddon, proof of Kung Fu Tommy, more questions for Coach, how to make a noose, playing with bear spray, beating my girlfriend on Twitch, DIY home defense, throwing away kids' toys, an erotic story from a real man, the tyranny of fake gasps, Madcucks gives a weak book update, what to do with THE LETTER, the heart rate monitor, the best beer combo, a soft I told you so, and a sudden power outage; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The Vietnamese man who taught me how to fight, Sean's wedding story, the redaction of a lifetime, false HR complaints, Twitch addiction, Sean's last fist fight, Asterios' Butterbean training regimen, Uber pools, Reverend Scott, compliance, phone calls with dogs, my man is moving to Abu Dhabi, Don't Legalize It, Van Halen, The Goss Squad, Fool's Liquor Round 2, sharing, crying, and like ten hours of podcasting; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

A Day of Interrupting, television addiction, Big Breakfast is killing you, Sean's voice is killing you, Asterios vs. WarOfTheFanBoys, the billboard, The Dick Show sends an autism to Cannes, being on Gavin McInnes, pointless research on gender binaries, cringe-ophobia, airlines and my biggest fantasy, the adventures of Cadyver, Phteven's various side businesses, Dustin's first bit, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the time Tucker Max hit on my girlfriend, whatever happened to Lettuce Jones, Layc is single, and Sean interrupts me while I'm working it; all that and more this week on The Dick Show.

Secondary Audio Programming, the Science Justice Warrior, the failures of high school Spanish, getting fat, how many lies it takes to save the world, a Trump pinata knife altercation, fool's liquor, Dustin's man-on-the-street bit, apostrophe's, women and their purses, Consuelo's Cinco de Mayo podcast, three-act emasculation, taking ten minutes to say goodbye, headrest hunchbacks, the panicked phone calls of a county run-off, the next two Road Rage cities, Sean gets a Star Trek shirt, I get a pen, and Madcucks gets a podcast; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Road Rage: Philly and the people who got kicked out, your brain the drug dealer, how to buy beer, Asterios' Dustin smack-down, an army of Seans, The Leviathan, Ken M and civil discourse on the Internet, dress codes, Sean reacts to the live show, a mod from The_Donald teases us with his Trump sci-fi novel, chicks who love Disneyland, The Matrix reboot, ATM fees, rock climbers and other people I want to punch in the mouth, Ken M gets banned from The_Donald live, someone borrows a lighter from Asterios, the Science Friction podcast, Digibro and his robe and his associates, The Dick Show jazz remix, and Juan the Road Rage Champ; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Joshua Tree, my plan for Philly, selling t-shirts, folding tents, friendly Australians and their drive-by G'days, the true test of camping, "Sean answers", Peach demonstrates how to hug properly, Coach eats some chocolate, bad wedding toasts, my The_Donald AMAA, Coach borrows my parents' truck, Peach "finds" my diary, 80s girl saves someone's life, more laugh tracks, Maddox's book title: the Biggest Rehash in the Universe, and all of Los Angeles loses its internet; all that and more this week on The Dick Show! Read more at dick.show

Preventing late podcasts, Liquor pacing, Madcucks vs Existence #2, Dodger's opening day, Buckley's edible hat, stealing from the rich and giving to myself, Randy's smooth-talking, bad neighbors, why Buckley was banned from the delivery room, Ginger Ale's hand-drawn tattoo, The Five-Life, girl and boy cartoon shows, hot chicks farting on planes, the Middle East is a money pit, Sam Glaze, My Room Records, Laughter Therapy with Sean, the biggest prank in the universe, The Best Book in the Universe, and the most 2.5 million downloads in the universe; all that and more this week on The Dick Show! Episode 45

Download the MP3 Losing count of beers, family reunions, ruining talent shows, Lowtax's weird audio, the confusion of ubiquitous content, farmers, rental car insurance and other scams, line cutters, the time Sean was a rock star, Asterios' roommate, April Fools pranks, houses that you build yourself, more on the billboard, more on Philly, more Goss, … Continue reading "Episode 44 – Dick on Talent Shows" The post Episode 44 – Dick on Talent Shows appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The clap, the Dick Show Tattoo, pranks, the mayor of chick town, the Dickbute, the creators of the 8chan list, another nonsensical rant about healthcare, Denzel can't skate, morons at intersections, "letting you go" and workplace suggesters, an invasion of space aliens, NHS, fraud, Loudmouth Leah, a Road Rage update, a billboard … Continue reading "Episode 43 – Dick on Pranks" The post Episode 43 – Dick on Pranks appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The Billboard Prank, squirrel farts, getting locked out of Twitter, Philly sells out in three hours–SO WE GET A BIGGER VENUE, manspreading at the gym, Larry's secret petting zoo, cat yoga, party ghosts, time wasters and the time police, hockey, real talk with customer service, the mid-life crisis of fifth graders, Power … Continue reading "Episode 42 – Dick on Timeout" The post Episode 42 – Dick on Timeout appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Madcucks vs. Existence, another #1 hit, Lowtax eats a hamburger, our favorite memes, trademark disputes, there are no jokes on the internet, someone threw away all my Pogs, Sean finally is a rage, Uwe Boll the jerk, I offer a bounty for the He Will Not Divide Us flag, wasting Randy's time … Continue reading "Episode 41 – Dick on Madcucks" The post Episode 41 – Dick on Madcucks appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 A Day Without a Woman, Flasks: can't live with em, can't live without em, people who live in bath houses shouldn't throw soap, Madcucks defends Madbux, Sean's favorite Star Trek, a Menards update, Lettuce Jones calls from prison, the official Billboard charts, Project: Episode 108, a dick mold bet, a dick pic … Continue reading "Episode 40 – Dick on Women on Strike" The post Episode 40 – Dick on Women on Strike appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 If the moon landing was a joke, a plan comes together, DIY glow in the dark pee, Seder pranks, period boobs, Lent, "Santa Cuck: Bald Headed Lies" becomes immortal, the science of spite, the organ of shame, hot chicks making goofy faces, the lazy gods among us, Consuelo's final podcast, beating Adele, … Continue reading "Episode 39 – Dick on Santa Cuck" The post Episode 39 – Dick on Santa Cuck appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Boner mysteries, iPhone Hawks, Bad Psychologists, Harmful Opinions, Cards Against Humanity, making your mom sleep in the car, anime, degeneracy, a new erotic stories bumper, Star Trek shrines, the evolution of the human mind, in defense of Madcucks, in defense of Dustin, in defense of America, The Consuelo Podcast, to Menards or … Continue reading "Episode 38 – Dick on Harmful Opinions" The post Episode 38 – Dick on Harmful Opinions appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The war on white people, Dr. Manhattan's dong, drunk children, a Shangri-La of hot, available women, a parade of the awkward and a life spent trying not to hurt people, Clegg blames me for everything, violence in bars, stories from the trolling front lines, The Enigma rides again, more pieces of the … Continue reading "Episode 37 – Dick on Skating" The post Episode 37 – Dick on Skating appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 A legacy of cables, the stormtroopers of the anti-fascist league, Consuelo's podcast, a bonus episode from an alternative dimension, opinions from people who've never punched anyone, investing tips from a guy whose car is zip tied together, Layc reads the news, in-studio fertility testing, evidence of crying, the post-episode 77 sit down, … Continue reading "Episode 36 – Dick on Cables" The post Episode 36 – Dick on Cables appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Crying in front of other men, a strip club ghost town, The Delete-o Bantido rides again, Peach Saliva and her extremely inappropriate fan fiction, a DickHead divides Shia LaBeouf, getting your money back, peeing sitting down, liquor gravity, Sean gets legit upset, The Dick Show RPG, a meteor of money, a hot … Continue reading "Episode 35 – Dick on Peach" The post Episode 35 – Dick on Peach appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Mayhem in the suburbs, training manuals I am in, a DickHead goes to Washington, email threats, Liarexia, I bring in a stats, those stupid chips on new credit cards, Liquor Event Horizon, comedian Justin Rupple, Vince Vaughn gives Maddox a pep talk about his dying brand, the many ways women steal your … Continue reading "Episode 34 – Dick on Credit Card Chips" The post Episode 34 – Dick on Credit Card Chips appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Burn school, the kiss of death, the time I ruined my dad's new car, threesomes with Alexa, Golden Shower arguments, I know I am but what am I, an erotic story two for one, the death of Optimus Prime, 24-hour news cycles, Santa Cuck and the Season of Cucksmas, a Lucie Wilde … Continue reading "Episode 33 – Dick on Shaved Ice" The post Episode 33 – Dick on Shaved Ice appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Patreon ruins what's left of my personal and professional reputation, my car becomes an underbuggy, I get the worst news of my life, Sean gets a Paraguayan hype man, wauterboi drops his new album, spells his name, and talks about his mom's birds, The Rage Board has a new champion, saying Excuse … Continue reading "Episode 32 – Dick on Accidental Pornography" The post Episode 32 – Dick on Accidental Pornography appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 I get kicked out of a bar with Rocket Man, Sean watches golf, we plan a World War II re-enactment, Oktoberfest, Asterios makes a staggering bet regarding his ex-wife, Peach Saliva calls in to chew someone out, a bouncer gets his penis touched, Lettuce Jones tells us why he's going to jail, … Continue reading "Episode 31 – Dick on Dreams" The post Episode 31 – Dick on Dreams appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 How I ruined Christmas, Sean sends more letters from the battlefield, how to get away with anything, highschool, Madcucks loses his temper, exotic presents from the far East, what exactly is the problem with church, a nationwide database of viruses, a sure-fire gambling system that the casinos don't want you to know … Continue reading "Episode 30 – Dick on Ruining Christmas" The post Episode 30 – Dick on Ruining Christmas appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 My Life Coach ruins my Christmas party, a SECRET SKETCH from Sam Hyde, the Jerk-Off Time Warp, the drive to pee outside, thinking like a hot chick, crossing guards, lady-dentists and why they are out to get you, Tequila, how to ruin a Ted Talk, Charity Regret, eliminating all prisons, The Apple … Continue reading "Episode 29 – Dick on World Peace" The post Episode 29 – Dick on World Peace appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The Eve from Wall-E toilet, Sean is gone, way too much popcorn, Denzel's non-sequitur trash talking, MadCucks defends his network, the Golden Goose of Goss, F is for Feminism, The War on Drugs vs. Automatic Updates, Lettuce Jones' big reveal to reveal, Cameron Hermens melts down, and Hollywood Randy busts balls; all … Continue reading "Episode 28 – Dick on The Toilet" The post Episode 28 – Dick on The Toilet appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The Booger Bandit, sweet-talking movers, bedroom starfish, the Country Mouse and the Shitty Mouse, pizza Jesus, Sean and his raise and also many sexual exploits, the time I was ejected from a Flight of the Conchords concert, Maddox and his shitty Gildan T-shirts, more celebrities call in, using technology to stop bed … Continue reading "Episode 27 – Dick on Moving" The post Episode 27 – Dick on Moving appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Blernsday and the 30-hour work week, BCC mistakes and the chamber of shame, Castro's diaper, dating a Blackula, cowboy dick pics, the shitty Gildan T-shirts that Maddox sells in his store to make an extra buck, Tooth Fairy Truthers, The Rage Lottery: two men enter one man leaves, celebrities call in with … Continue reading "Episode 26 – Dick on Santa" The post Episode 26 – Dick on Santa appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Thumb wars, liquor gravity, a terrifying mob of 20-year-old men, Team Snapchat, a Duck Tales revenge fantasy, the 200-pound hangover, a day in the life, goofy chip flavors, Denzel's movie, Asterios' shame, an open letter to your family this Thanksgiving, new t-shirts, a listener boxing match, I get slipped a Mickey, Sean's … Continue reading "Episode 25 – Dick on One Million Downloads" The post Episode 25 – Dick on One Million Downloads appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 I welcome our new Pepe overlords, peace and understanding in riots, Madcucks pitches his wares and doubles down for 2020, the Rage Board finally gets some rules, getting out of cars slowly, nightmares my face has caused, subscription personalities, how to win at identity politics, the future of Lettuce Jones, "People of … Continue reading "Episode 24 – Dick on Gloating" The post Episode 24 – Dick on Gloating appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Spy vs. Spy with married guys, the results of The Great Debate, Never-ending stories and the storytellers who never-end them, putting Vaseline on your eyes, more dong talk, what to do with a cheating mom, a news babe comes in with some amazing shoes, Asterios rants while I get the door, fight … Continue reading "Episode 23 – Dick on Results" The post Episode 23 – Dick on Results appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 DickTales, the curse of a home pool table, boob scams, a cross-eyed race car driver, ruined shorts, Sean wants to see my cock, cigar advice from Sean's dad, Asterios lingers, leaked concession speeches, Tom Phillips comes home, Lettuce Jones goes to prison, a debate with the Sneaky Greek, gifts, gifts, gifts, and … Continue reading "Episode 22 – Dick on Voting" The post Episode 22 – Dick on Voting appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The duality of man, a news babe, a listener fist fight, Halloween scams, scary erotic stories, Reddit backlash, adventures in misspelling in advertising, MadCucks' new book, viral video school, Astorios Kokkitales from Asterios Kokkinos, and who is a Stalin? All this and more this week on The Dick Show! Smoking like a … Continue reading "Episode 21 – Dick on Asterios" The post Episode 21 – Dick on Asterios appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The law, the Bone Zone, my inner monologue, Gorilla Mindset, real magic words, Cuck-mate, sucker-punching, red pills, blue pills, and black pills, the war on men, Carlos Slim, what is a defamation, Sean gets asked his name, Dustin attends a Trump rally, author and free-speech activist Mike Cernovich weighs in on the … Continue reading "Episode 20 – Dick on Cernovich" The post Episode 20 – Dick on Cernovich appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 I bully a bus, 837,000 things wrong with San Fransisco, the biggest Patreon in history, fat Halloween music, MadCucks calls in, a financial analyst finds discrepancies in the Biggest Problem accounting, music to rage too, Elon Musk tries to kill God, making erotic stories great again, the bro code, Trump's locker room … Continue reading "Episode 19 – Dick on San Francisco" The post Episode 19 – Dick on San Francisco appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 iOS 10, car seat adjustments, Persian racing rim upgrades, accidental heroes, my personal and professional reputation, why the Biggest Problem in the Universe ended, The Job Lynch Mob, Trump and I release our taxes, my faith in the UCB comedy scene is destroyed, Chump Syndrome, free speech; all that and more this … Continue reading "Episode 18 – Dick on Maddox" The post Episode 18 – Dick on Maddox appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 I accidentally share something, Joe Starr talks about winning an Emmy, I get a list of demands Black Lives Matters, Piss Whistlers, we play a round of Drunk, Sober, High with Jordan, David Clegg calls in to call everyone a liar, waut3rboi, my favorite quote, Maddox's girlfriend doxxes Asterios; all this and … Continue reading "Episode 17 – Dick on Clegg" The post Episode 17 – Dick on Clegg appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Sean's rates, the moment that changed my life forever, Pepe the frog, smelled-a-fart racism, peeing with your pants around your ankles, listening to your dick, AA is a suicide cult, "I'm safe", how many downloads, Hot Goss and why I am the Joan Rivers of podcasting, things Sean has lost, a wrong … Continue reading "Episode 16 – Dick on School" The post Episode 16 – Dick on School appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 The alchemy of a bender, Hillary Clinton halts and catches fire, the black vote, my life coach's secret Twitter account, Bill Cosby's Democracy in America, I learn what is an AA, Denzel's dream body, my workout routine, my reaction to Bill Burr's reaction to me and the ensuing inception, the media; all … Continue reading "Episode 15 – Dick on Bill Burr" The post Episode 15 – Dick on Bill Burr appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 My man gets a fake marriage and then does too many drugs, I discover the world's greatest pick-up line, a bike I stole gets stolen, we have several altercations with the angsty powers that be at Burning Man, Camp Furry, casual references to literary classics, the Trumpyx, and cucumbers are the devil's … Continue reading "Episode 14 – Dick on Drugs" The post Episode 14 – Dick on Drugs appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 I have a piss fiasco and try to push the borders of mansplaining, Sean discusses awkward, Dr. Fakeman calls in with an update on Hillary Clinton's health, I bring in the actual biggest problem in the universe, my man calls in from the desert, I send a call out to fellow fingernail … Continue reading "Episode 13 – Dick on Fat Rock" The post Episode 13 – Dick on Fat Rock appeared first on The Dick Show.

Download the MP3 Our audio problems are fixed forever, Dick Supporters on Patreon.com have a new enhanced video feed, my Life Coach stops by and doesn't plug his Twitter, Marc Maron gets triggered, I why Maddox is now giving away the Biggest Problem Bonus Episodes, a New Challenger emerges from reddit, Dustin digs himself out … Continue reading "Episode 12 – Dick on Hunks" The post Episode 12 – Dick on Hunks appeared first on The Dick Show.