The Dad Edge Podcast

In this episode, I sit down with Jon Fogel — pastor, dad of four, PhD candidate in developmental psychology, and bestselling author of Punishment Free Parenting. Jon is one of those rare guys who can make you laugh so hard you forget you're learning some of the most important parenting insights you've ever heard. We open with chaos — including the time his wife went into labor at Goodwill, insisted on finishing the bathroom tile and installing a toilet before going to the hospital, and the time Jon almost missed the birth of his fourth child because he stopped for Jimmy John's on the way back. But then it gets real. Jon breaks down why punishment doesn't work — not as a philosophy, but as brain science. When you punish a child, you activate the threat response system, which is the exact part of the brain that shuts off learning. We dig into what to do instead, the landmark Bobo doll experiment proving kids follow the behavior of the men in their lives above everyone else, and how rupture and repair actually builds stronger relationships than if you'd never messed up at all. Jon also walks us through Set My Feelings Free — his kids' book packed with emotional regulation games you can start using today to stop tantrums before they start. Timeline Summary [0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission [1:02] Introducing Jon Fogel — pastor, author, PhD candidate, and Whole Parent [6:07] Why the parenting space desperately needs more men in it [14:02] Jon's family — and the birth stories that will make you lose it [26:12] Why Jon goes calm in a crisis but loses it over spilled milk [45:34] The core message of Punishment Free Parenting — brain science, not philosophy [49:12] Kids don't have the same negativity bias as adults — they want to see you in the best light [50:18] Your kids aren't trying to give you a hard time — they're having a hard time [51:07] Rupture and repair — why messing up and fixing it builds the strongest bonds [55:39] The dad buried in his phone is a bigger problem than the dad who sometimes loses his temper [57:42] The Still Face Experiment — and what a parent staring at a phone really communicates [1:00:37] The Bobo doll experiment — kids follow the men in their lives above everyone else [1:03:37] You don't have to fix your kids. Fix yourself. Your kids are fine. [1:09:08] Why punishment shuts off the brain's learning system — and what to do instead [1:17:16] Get Curious, Not Furious — the question every parent needs to ask [1:20:12] The Doctor House analogy — stop managing symptoms, find the underlying problem [1:24:05] Set My Feelings Free — emotional regulation games disguised as fun [1:29:34] Why you should never check under the bed for the monster Five Key Takeaways Punishment activates the threat response system — the part of the brain that shuts off learning. Relationship and curiosity do the actual teaching. Your kids are almost never trying to give you a hard time. They're having a hard time and you're witnessing it. Get curious, not furious. The Bobo doll experiment proved it — kids follow the behavior of the men in their lives above everyone else. Fix yourself. Your kids are fine. Every time you mess up and genuinely repair it, the relationship gets stronger than it was before. Rupture and repair builds the deepest bonds. Kids solve problems through play. When screens replace play, they lose their primary tool for processing the hard stuff — and we're modeling that every time we reach for our phones. Links & Resources Roommates to Soulmates Cohort & Preview Call: https://thedadedge.com/soulmates Join the Dad Edge Mastermind: https://thedadedge.com/mastermind The Men's Forge: https://themensforge.com Punishment Free Parenting by Jon Fogel: Available wherever books are sold Set My Feelings Free by Jon Fogel: Available wherever books are sold Whole Parent Academy: https://wholeparentacademy.com Follow Jon on Instagram: @wholeparent Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1460): https://thedadedge.com/1460 Closing You cannot punish your kids into becoming who you want them to be — and you can't punish yourself into becoming the parent you want to be either. Get curious before you get furious. Repair when you rupture. Model what you want to see. And give your kids the tools to regulate themselves when the world gets hard — because you won't always be there, but the way you showed them how to handle it will be. Go out and live legendary.

In this solo episode, Larry gets straight to the point: the reason most men feel stuck isn't a lack of motivation — it's a lack of direction. Not the five-year-plan kind of direction, but the daily kind. What are you building in your marriage right now? What are you doing this week to move the needle? Because if you don't choose a direction, life will choose one for you — and it's usually the one that leaves you reactive, exhausted, and quietly frustrated. Larry shares what's coming up in the Dad Edge community in April, breaks down what the Alliance is really about in plain English, and makes the case for why this is the moment to stop consuming content and start executing. He also announces the first ever First Form Dad of the Month — a man in the Alliance who has been quietly doing the work, keeping his promises to himself, and leading from the front without making a big deal about it. This one is short, direct, and worth every minute. Timeline Summary [0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities [1:02] The real reason most men feel stuck — it's not motivation, it's direction [1:45] What happens when you don't choose a direction and life chooses one for you [2:01] What's coming up in the Dad Edge community — events, programs, and announcements [3:02] The Men's Forge event — what it is, who it's for, and why it's not a hype fest [4:44] Why being in a room with the right men changes everything [5:44] The April theme inside the Alliance — purpose, direction, and leadership for men [6:06] The real reason men fail — not laziness, but an unclear target [7:04] What the Alliance actually is in plain English — brotherhood, plans, execution, and no egos [7:58] What April inside the Alliance looks like — getting clear on what you actually want and building a weekly rhythm that makes winning normal [9:22] What men who show up and do the work actually experience — no longer feeling behind, making faster decisions, becoming more consistent at home [10:07] The Roommates to Soulmates preview call — April 1st at 7pm Central — who it's for and what to expect [11:43] Announcing the first ever First Form Dad of the Month — Jason Rowe — and why he earned it [13:05] First Form product spotlight — Magic Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Red Velvet Cake flavors [15:09] Closing message — the world is loud, drift is real, and today is the day to do one thing your future self will thank you for Five Key Takeaways You're not stuck because you're lazy. You're stuck because your target is blurry. When direction gets fuzzy, discipline gets fuzzy right along with it. If you don't choose a direction on purpose, you'll drift toward whatever is loudest and most urgent — and you'll look up one day and realize you've been living the same week for five years. The Alliance is not a vent session. It's men telling the truth, getting tactical, and leaving every call with something they can actually execute. Winning becomes normal when you're focused. Consistency over time beats motivation every single time. Do one thing today that your future self will thank you for. That's it. That's the whole assignment. Links & Resources Roommates to Soulmates Cohort & Preview Call: https://thedadedge.com/soulmates The Men's Forge: https://themensforge.com Dad Edge Alliance & Business Boardroom: https://thedadedge.com/mastermind First Form Supplements: https://1stphorm.com/dadedge Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1459): https://thedadedge.com/1459 Closing If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: direction is a decision, and today is the day to make it. The world is loud. The fires are always burning. And it is incredibly easy to spend your whole life responding instead of building. But the men who are winning at home — in their marriages, with their kids, in their health — are not the ones who figured out some secret. They're the ones who got clear, got consistent, and chose the right room. Don't let April be another month on autopilot. Go out and live legendary.

In this episode, I sit down with Matthew McConaughey — Oscar-winning actor, author of the bestselling memoir Greenlights, and a man who thinks about fatherhood, legacy, and what it means to truly live with the same intensity he brings to everything else. This is not a conversation about Hollywood. It's about what it means to be a man and a father who doesn't half-ass the most important things in his life. Matthew opens up about his own father — a larger-than-life man who taught him three rules that shaped everything: don't say can't, don't hate, and don't lie. We get into the stories behind each of those lessons, the "don't half-ass it" moment when Matthew told his dad he wanted film school instead of law school, and what it takes for a father to recognize that his son has made up his mind — not asking permission, but declaring a direction. We also talk about Camilla, taking his kids everywhere he goes on set, and why three older actors all told him the same thing: they chose work over family time and would do it differently if they could. Then there's the passage from Greenlights that stopped Larry mid-workout — about living your legacy now, and the idea that most of us don't fly too close to the sun. We don't fly nearly high enough. Our alarms go off too early. This one is timeless. Timeline Summary [0:00] Introduction to the Dad Edge mission and the movement to raise leaders of families and communities [1:02] Why this replay is one of the top ten episodes in Dad Edge history [2:18] What Matthew hoped would come from this conversation: waking men up to what being a dad really means [4:29] What brings Matthew joy: bringing people together and watching them build their own independent friendships [6:31] The role most relative to who he is as a husband and father — and why his family has always come with him on every job [8:52] Camilla's one condition before they started a family: "You go, we go" [11:02] Three older actors all said the same thing: they chose work over family, and they regret it [12:39] The 80% statistic: most of your one-on-one time with your kids is gone by the time they're 12 [14:00] Fatherhood is a verb — on screen time, saying no with love, and why the easy answer is almost always the wrong one [18:33] The birds and bees talk from his father: a lesson about respect for women that stuck word for word [20:34] Don't say can't — the lawnmower story and the lesson that there's always another way [21:57] Don't hate — saying "I hate you" at his own birthday party, and what happened next [22:28] Don't lie — the stolen pizza, four chances to tell the truth, and what Matthew actually remembers [24:10] "Don't half-ass it" — the film school conversation and what it means when a father hears conviction in his son's voice [28:04] His dad was alive for just five days into Matthew's first acting job — the first thing he committed to that wasn't a fad [30:55] How Matthew pursues Camilla in the middle of kids, career, and constant demands on his time [35:26] Why Matthew and Camilla go on dates every week — and what they tell the kids about why mom and dad go alone [35:43] The passage from Greenlights that stopped Larry in the gym: "Live my legacy now" [38:33] The inverted Icarus problem: most of us don't fly too close to the sun — our alarms go off way too early [41:59] The science in the rearview mirror — how everything connects, even the things that looked like mistakes [42:36] Ten years from now: what Matthew hopes to be celebrating with his family Five Key Takeaways Fatherhood is a verb, not a label. It's not about helping make the baby — the work starts after. Teaching, shepherding, saying no, explaining why — that is the job. The three rules Matthew's father gave him — don't say can't, don't hate, don't lie — are not just household rules. They are the weapons a man needs to negotiate the world. When your child comes to you convicted — not asking permission, but declaring a direction — your job as a father is to recognize that and say "don't half-ass it." Most of us don't fly too close to the sun. Our alarms go off too early. We put a ceiling on our own potential before we've even started to soar. Your marriage needs intentional pursuit — even in the busiest seasons of parenting. It doesn't just hold itself. Links & Resources Roommates to Soulmates Cohort & Preview Call: https://thedadedge.com/soulmates The Men's Forge: https://themensforge.com Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey: https://a.co/d/017KxpPw Episode Link & Resources (Episode 1458): https://thedadedge.com/1458 Closing If there's one message from this episode that stands out, it's this: stop waiting for the right moment to live your legacy — it's already happening right now. Matthew McConaughey's father gave him three rules, one five-second pause, and a standard he's been carrying ever since. Don't say can't. Don't hate. Don't lie. Don't half-ass it. The men whose kids will remember them the way Matthew remembers his dad are the ones who sh