The Comedian Next Door

Every Sunday evening, at 7:00pm Eastern Time, John Branyan and his funny friends host a LIVE comedy show on YouTube.  If you're not watching the Starving Comics Quarantine Show, here's what you've been missing... John thomas drank a lot of coffee before tonight's show. He does his best James Cagney. And later, Brian Apprille teaches everyone how to speak like a Bostonian PROPERLY.  Also featuring: Juan DeVevo, founding member of Casting Crowns. And John Branyan--the Original Starving Comic.  Follow John Branyan on YouTube and enable notifications to watch SCQS LIVE and see if it looks as good as it sounds.  Live comments are featured on the show! 

Welcome to the table, Neighbor! Go ahead and take the Peaches' seat because she's not using it much.  There's too much parenting to do!Meanwhile, John wants to tell you about some of his terrible experiences with comedy shows this week.  (But, really, the terrible shows make for the best stories.)Also--we got an email this week. Thanks for sending us details about your childlike joys!  Finally, we get pretty raw and honest about the insomnia and mood swings and how it's affecting parenting decisions.  We're trying to teach our kids to do the right thing, even when they don't feel like it.  But, we have to practice what we preach first!You can contact us at [email protected]...  

This week's Bonus Conversation has to do with all things education.  The Peaches doesn't know which is more outside of her control:  her ability to sleep at night, or her ability to make her son do his schoolwork... In our community, most of our brothers and sisters in Christ are NOT familiar with the philosophy of education that is commonplace among people in the Fight Laugh Feast Network.   We don't have a church full of Christians who "get it," and that feels discouraging sometimes.  Here's an analogy about painting a garage that might feel relatable... It's difficult to help others educate their children in Christian orthodoxy, when the parents were ALSO products of public school.  How to we even begin to unpack all the misunderstandings and bad assumptions? You can reach out to us by emailing [email protected].  Also, visit flfnetwork.com to get more information about the Fight Laugh Feast Conference. (That's coming up in October. Be there or be square!) 

The Comedian's house is busy (as always).  Let the 4-year-old explain why he "needs" to use tongs to handle his Elmo doll...  We're continuing to "plod" along with our daily tasks--but sometimes the process feels painfully slow. If you're an older mother who has successfully raised her children in the Lord, the Peaches could use some encouragement.  Email [email protected] to share your testimony of how daily, ordinary faithfulness has paid off.  Later:  Look at all the amazing things our bodies are able to do... like REMEMBERING things that happened in the past and driving to church without crashing.  Who are we to decide what's "too much" for us to handle? Wouldn't we think most of our ordinary activities were "too much," if we hadn't experienced being able to do them? The Peaches has been convicted that she has been influenced by the Materialist culture more than she realized.  There are many assumptions about the limitations of our physical bodies which come from "science" (and "experts" in Biology) rather than from Scripture... Many other things get brought up as well, but it's a bit difficult to outline. Pull up a chair at the table and join us! Visit johnbranyan.com to Join the Comedy Clique and support the show.  You also can visit flfnetwork.com for more information about the Fight Laugh Feast Conference, coming up in October.  Our family will be there (Lord willing).  Will yours? 

The almost-11-year-old Cami joins us at the table to talk about how hard it can be to get along with a brother who changes "The Plan" at the last minute.  She shares a story about an Easter dispute that could have put a damper on our family's celebration. But--by the grace of God--Cami was able to do the right thing and get back into fellowship with Collin. Enjoy this shorter episode for your mid-week visit to the Comedian's house.   If you enjoy the show, consider supporting The Comedian Next Door by joining the Comedy Clique. Details at johnbranyan.com.

This episode is being uploaded late, due to tech difficulties. Sorry about that, Neighbor Pkarlgh!Our family is celebrating Cami's 11th birthday this week, but not everyone is excited about her party's theme.  Is it okay for Christians to read stories about magic and witchcraft?... We discuss this briefly. Then:  it's encouraging to know that God has been revealing pieces of his Truth to EVERY nation in EVERY era.  But, when are we allowed to agree with the pagans?   Or are we running the risk of compromising our faith in order to get along with more people?    Let us regale you with a very long-winded anecdote with borrowed from The King's Hall Podcast.  Don't be quick to divide and sell the land of your inheretance, Neighbor!  You can contact us by emailing [email protected], and you can support the show by becomining a member of John's Comedy Clique.  Details at johnbranyan.com.  

The house is FULL of family today (especially noisy kids)--and we don't feel much like podcasting...  But, we're doing it anyway!   Tabby is at the table, and Megan grabs a mic later in the episode as well.  John wants to talk about why so many Christians seem to be "deconstructing" their faith.  We think we mostly agree with the article he quotes.Young Americans no longer trust large institutions like the government, the medical establishment, and the Church.  They've become loners who trust no one except themselves...and it's getting to the point where they don't really trust themselves, either. (That's what happens when you have been taught to see through everything. There's no end to the free fall.) Christians have access to information about other belief systems and worldviews they didn't have 100 years ago, which may tempt them away from their faith.  But--more importantly--they don't have the skills necessary to discern what's true and what's false.   Pull up a chair and join the discussion!   Email [email protected] with your comments. Also--be looking for more information about the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in October.  We'll see you there, Neighbor!

We've been informed that our Neighbor (Pkarlgh) wants to come over and visit MORE OFTEN. So we're putting out bonus content on Thursdays.   Please enjoy today's table talk with John, the Peaches, and the Podcast Ninja (Luke).  We'll tell you how to make yeast rolls that will offend your grandmother...  and how to make marshmallows... and how to make cotton candy in the most entertaining way possible. Also, please let us know if you're interested in our Racoon-Trapping Kits. We're ready to make some money! Email: [email protected] to interact with us.   Thanks for visiting, Neighbor!

The Podcast Ninja (Luke) is at the table today.  We begin by talking about how much fun comedian's have when they're driving about 10 hours, to and from a show.  Then, the Peaches reminds John about how wrong he was two episodes ago... (Remember when John was wrong, Neighbor?) But she's actually trying to make him feel better by sharing something that convicted HER lately:  CS Lewis had a different perspective on Emotionalism than we typically have on this podcast! Please enjoy some quotes from The Abolition of Man. "[People who are wrong] see the world around them swayed by emotional propaganda — they have learned from tradition that youth is sentimental — and they conclude that the best thing they can do is to fortify the minds of young people against emotion. My own experience as a teacher tells an opposite tale. For every one pupil who needs to be guarded from a weak excess of sensibility there are three who need to be awakened from the slumber of cold vulgarity. The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles but to irrigate deserts. The right defence against false sentiments is to inculcate just sentiments. By starving the sensibility of our pupils we only make them easier prey to the propagandist when he comes. For famished nature will be avenged and a hard heart is no infallible protection against a soft head."  --CS Lewis John doesn't think we have been guilty of downplaying emotions.  BUT, his young grandson recently confessed to feeling guilty about liking video games, so... What do you think, Neighbor? Are Christians accidentally creating hard hearts, as a remedy for soft heads?  Or are we doing a decent job passing on an appreciation for objective beauty and majestic music and passionate poetry?Send us your comments:  [email protected]   Also, tune in later this week for MORE CONTENT from The Comedian Next Door.  (If you'd like to support the show, consider joining the Comedy Clique. Details at johnbranyan.com)

The Comedian and The Peaches are talking about heartrate and stress.   Apparently, it's possible for your body to be stressed without your mind being aware of it. Who knew? We always talk about not being able to trust our emotions, but we can't always trust our thoughts and perceptions, either... Sometimes the tasks that would be stressful for others actually calm us down. That's our comfort zone!  But sometimes we have panic attacks on airplanes.  Next, John makes a few confusing announcements about when he'll be performing at Gutty's comedy club. (He's appearing at the Minneapolis Gutty's on April 22nd and 23rd, and the Indianapolis Gutty's on April 29th and 30th.)  Also, the Peaches sees a bug on the wall.  Then, John's dental hygienist asked for his opinion about the infamous Chris Rock and Will Smith Slap, so he shares that opinion with you, Neighbor Pkarlgh!  Basically, the people of Hollywood are not doing very well! Being unable to handle Mean Words is a sign of personal weakness.  Don't be so easily stressed by your surroundings that you can't control your actions.  Finally, what would possess Joel Osteen to block other Christians from critiquing his sermons?  (Also, we're still trying to meet Mike Winger. If you know his people, put in a good word for us.) If you'd like to support the show, visit johnbranyan.com and join The Comedy Clique. You'll get exclusive access to our Telegram group and private game nights and more! We'll be at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in October. More details at flfnetwork.com . 

We're here at the table, Neighbor Pkarlgh! (And the kids are working busily nearby.) Join us while we talk about John's latest post on social media.  Spoilers: this conversation does not go the way he expected... In this episode:  -Why would a person post a comment that is nothing but Scripture? -Social media encourages disagreement and misunderstanding. -It's almost impossible to communicate with other humans...  unless we can find common ground in Christ. -We don't often treat people on social media with the same grace we give our loved ones in real life. -John is defensive about being defensive. -Plus MORE! Bottom line: maybe we should stay in our lane by focusing on helping people find the humor in their life and choose joy.  Send your Scripture references to [email protected].  Also, consider supporting John Branyan Comedy by becoming a member of the Comedy Clique! (Details at johnbranyan.com) 

Welcome to the table, Neighbor Pkarlgh!   The Peaches had an epiphany this week regarding how important it is for the human body to have food.  Isn't it crazy the way the sun rises every morning--and putting nutrients in your stomach can change your life? But let's remember: people are not just physical creatures. We have minds and souls as well.  Later: Would you criticize a fat person at the gym?  It's hard to wait for God to reveal the same things to other people that He has revealed to you... Then:  Are we encroaching on Relativism over here??? Or are we simply realizing a Truth about the "living and active" nature of Scripture? Finally:  Ecclesiastes seems really depressing... But, with the right perspective, it's actually encouraging.  "NOTHING MATTERS--EVERYTHING IS MEANINGLESS!"  It reminds us of John's saying, "Life is a joke." Reach out to us by emailing [email protected]. Join us at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in October! (Details at flfnetwork.com) Tune in to the Starving Comic's Quarantine Show on the John Branyan YouTube channel!

We're going to be totally honest about some stuff today, Neighbor!   The Peaches still has been dealing with some emotional and psychological discomfort.    (We would blame the thyroid if we could, but that's has been ruled out, so.... darn.)   Sometimes, life's trials just FEEL more weighty than other times...  Hang on, we have a quick interruption while Collin amazes everyone with his poem-thingy... Okay--back to the subject. The Peaches is going to be very cautious ("guarded") with her words today. But John wants to lay everything out on the table and tell you about some interpersonal conflict.  Not everyone handles their struggles/crisis by dialoging with their Christian family and processing things.   But that's how WE roll.  There are some problems at church because many people aren't comfortable with open communication.  Join us at the table. Let's say true things.  

What do you think, Neighbor?   Should John record another Dry Bar special?  Either way, let's talk about why John keeps posting about Modesty on social media and triggering the "bossy" Feminists... We don't live in a Patriarchy anymore. So, when you discover certain words/topics you're not allowed to say, it's not a bad idea to keep your finger on that nerve. Our culture keeps telling women to "be themselves," but what does that even mean? Next: the Peaches has some very good news! More and more Christians are becoming as grumpy and cynical as she is! Hooray!   There seems to be a shift among our brothers and sisters, as if the bulk of the Church now has almost as much experience dealing with trolls on social media as we did 10 years ago!...Also: if you want to help the Feminists kill John using an obscure Medieval torture device, then B.Y.O.E. Finally: how should we react when those few (but loud) non-believers show up to spout foolishness?  Do we respond at all?  Here's a quick reminder about Bully Management 101. If you enjoy being part of the conversation, consider also being part of the Clique!  Visit Johnbranyan.com to support more John Branyan content.  Also--if you're not already part of the Fight Laugh Feast network, visit FLFnetwork.com to get plugged in.  The FLF Conference is happening in October! Be there or be square. 

Good to have you at the table, Neighbor Pkarlgh!  If you have any tips for helping Collin grow an inch taller before the summer, please let us know.  Now--let's talk about a book by Vishal Mangalwadi called "The Book that Made Your World: How the Bible Created the Soul of Western Civilization."  There is a stark difference between the assumptions of Eastern Mystics and the assumptions of philosopher who have been influenced by the principles in the Bible.   Christians believe humans are valuable, because we were created in God's image. And we're also capable of using logic, because God gives us the ability (and even the command) to be reasonable.  That changes EVERYTHING. Listen as we read some quotes about funny things Eastern Philosophers believe to be "enlightenment." Listen to all the sound of all that knowledge, squeaking and grinding!  Later: Is "individualism" a bad thing?  We think most people probably equate "individualism" with "selfishness," but there may be a better way to think about this...   Think about it with us, unless you're trying to transcend all thought.  In which case:  OMMMMmmmmmmm!  Finally: Please put some clothes on, Ladies.  Contact us at [email protected].  Consider supporting John Branyan Comedy by joining the Comedy Clique!  (Details at johnbranyan.com)  Join us at the Fight, Laugh, Feast Conference October 6th-8th.  

Last week, the Peaches said "If you really believe a thing, it will lead to action. And the main thing stopping people from ACTING on their beliefs is fear/uncertainty."  But... Pkarlgh sent an email with a possible exception involving masks at work, so we need to unpack this a bit more.  Next: this entire winter has been full of health trials for the Comedian's family. We thought having COVID in December would be the peak. But--no. We just can't shake the sickness around here.  This leads us to notice how different individuals tend to struggle with different symptoms more than others.  What's the connection between mind and body when you're suffering with both spiritual and physical symptoms?  (Is it related to the different ways we're tempted to sin?)Let's talk about people who suffer well.  Do they get to the point they actually suffer LESS than people who fall into the suffering spiral?  Some people suffer greatly with anxiety about being laughed at.   John doesn't struggle with this.  Some people want control, and so they stop eating. Other people want control, so they eat too much.  What does the Peaches think about this?  She doesn't know! Finally: Our culture is very relativistic. Most people don't know what they're doing or where they're going. Church leaders are torn because they believe they're supposed to offer some sort of direction and hope--but they don't know how.  Support John Branyan Comedy by visiting the website, johnbranyan.com and joining the Comedy Clique. You can email us at nextdoor.johnbranyan.com to be part of the show. 

Welcome to the kitchen table of the Comedian Next Door, Neighbor Pkarlgh! We've taken away the video games and other screens, so the kids are playing ball in the house.  John recently realized there aren't many people in the Church today who are willing to be as bold and confident as Paul. Why is that?  Are people afraid to speak the truth?... or do they even know what the truth is in the first place? Peaches thinks most people struggle with uncertainties/doubts.  Some things aren't worth fighting about...  But those aren't really "convictions."  We have been advising people to SHUT UP when they don't know what they're talking about.  So, maybe that's why there are so few Pauls.  Is it possible to will ourselves to know things?  Can we CHOOSE to be more certain?

Hi, Neighbor! The Peaches used to believe that every, single bad thing on the planet could be attributed to "selfishness." (And she still leans that direction.) But NOW she thinks absolutely every conflict boils down to a clash between the Truth and a lie.Lots and lots of people are really struggling to express themselves.  We give two examples of comments from John's "critics." But, they're just collections of generic, angry-sounding words. To be a criticism, a thing needs to be clear and direct.   There are way too many empty words being thrown around. Do you want some practice thinking and speaking more clearly? Try getting directions from a small child and then translating for him/her.  Speaking of small children talking in childish ways, here's Silas to say a thing we don't totally understand at first!Three types of Liars: 1. Immature/Ignorant people with limited ability to express themselves. 2. Manipulators who INTENTIONALLY mislead with "word games."3. Smooth-talkers who want a certain reaction from you.  In order to make a joke, you have to manipulate language and strategically mislead people...but then you reveal the truth with the punch line.   Don't leave people in the dark on purpose! And don't say something you KNOW is only half-true, just to get the result you want. And don't do the "compliment sandwich" thing just because a Sales Guy told you to do it. Say true things. Email us at [email protected]. Follow John Branyan on Facebook, Gab, and YouTube. Consider supporting John's comedy by joining the Clique!  (Details at johnbranyan.com)

Please join us in praying a hedge of protection around the Comedian's recording equipment.  Welcome to our table--where Tabby is just getting back from an appointment with her newborn, Warren. We're pretty sure this lip-tie surgery is going to cure ALL of his future ailments. Tabby hasn't had Facebook for over a year, so she hasn't seen our dad's recent posts.  So, pull up a chair what while we fill her in on all the things we've been discussing on social media this week...Every time you laugh at a man dressed as a woman, a Trans Girl gets more afraid to come out!John agrees wholeheartedly. Laughter is a good way to determine whether you need to examine your beliefs for hidden stupidity.  Humans don't decide what is funny; GOD decides what is funny. You can't punch down at people who refuse to view themselves as LESS THAN you are. (High five for cheeseburgers, everybody!) Later:  the Peaches shares a dirty joke that was posted by a troll. But there's a point to giving this lewdness some air time! Technically, the joke is legit. Then:  a pastor has discovered that his girlfriend is pregnant...and his confession is similar to when one of our toddlers "discovers" that a sibling has been pinched, but he can't bring himself to state exactly HOW THAT HAPPENED.   This is how spiritual infants speak. AND: John tells a story of a time he accidentally was insulted a friend with disabilities.   This type of condescension (and treating people with low-expectations) is what many churches have been cultivating and calling "LOVE."   This is making Church People "Spiritually Spoiled." Both believers and non-believers have been told they are "loved" so often that they are bursting with pride.   Finally: What does all of this have to do with increasing rates of suicide?  Send us your comments:  [email protected].   Also, consider supporting John Branyan by joining the Comedy Clique.   Visit johnbranyan.com for more info. 

The boys/men of the family just got back from eating "Man Food." Quick--let's talk about what made John laugh this week, before we dive into the INTERESTING stuff the Peaches wants to discuss.First of all, why are a bunch of irrelevant, old musicians picking a fight with Joe Rogan?  Well--we want to announce (formally) that we're joining the boycott! Hopefully this earns us some attention, as it has done for Neil Young and Joni Mitchell. Next, what about Apple's new emoji of the "pregnant man?"    And what about Minnie Mouse getting a wardrobe change?And isn't this podcast supposed to be FUNNY?Whenever we give examples of women doing unwise, sinful, or embarassing things, we use the pseudonym "Carlina" to keep their real names anonymous.   Today's Carlina story involves Hugh Hefner's Playboy mansion, plus some weird voodoo nonsense.  We give several examples of comments that are barely coherent... just strange, spiritual-sounding blather. Spoilers:  Carlina has a few creative edits for the Bible. If you just can't get enough of John Branyan Comedy, visit our website and consider BECOMING A MEMBER of the Comedy Clique! 

Welcome to our table, Neighbor Pkarlgh.   The Peaches is particularly thankful for spreadable butter today.  Also--please enjoy this story about a misbehaving toddler and the lengths a mom/aunt must go to discipline those little humans. Are we being "petty" and "making a big deal out of nothing" when we forcibly remove the stolen deer jerky out of a child's mouth? Yes--the Bible says blessed are the peacemakers. But, how do we keep peace with rebellious sinners?That leads John to an example involving the man named Caitlyn Jenner. Conservatives are now quoting Jenner and believing he's on THEIR SIDE, simply because he sometimes says vaguely Right-Wing sounding things.    They no longer care that Jenner is using FEMALE PRONOUNS to describe men.  (* Brief Interuption while John breaks the recorder ) Bottom line: Don't be afraid to fight with a person who's wrong. Later: Is the Peaches the only one who thought the Babylon Bee's interview with Elon Musk was super awkward and not-that-profound?  Why are people fawning over how "articulate" Elon Musk is?...  Let's be honest:  we are influenced by his riches and fame.  Nobody would be quoting him otherwise. If you like being part of our conversations, visit johnbranyan.com and join the Comedy Clique for more exclusive content!  Also tune in for John's LIVE show--The Starving Comics Quarantine Show--every Sunday at 7:00pm Eastern on the John Branyan youtube channel. 

Welcome back to our much-less-jolly house, Neighbor Pkarlgh.  We're undecorating, and we're talking about how to deal with disappointment or discontent.  (PLEASE teach your kids to recognize and manage their feelings of disappointment.  PLEASE!!!)Later:  John has been upsetting the pro-Abortion crowd.  But the Peaches believes Christians/Pro-Lifers are making headway in the culture war.  Finally:  Why are some people soooooo dumb?  It's almost as if God doesn't like them very much. Email [email protected] with your questions or comments.  Follow John on Facebook, Gab, and YouTube. (Tune in every Sunday at 7:00pm to be part of his LIVE comedy show--the Starving Comics Quarantine Show.)

Welcome to the Comedian's house, where we spent the afternoon recording new intros/outros for your listening pleasure!  The four McBabies complicated the process juuuuuust a bit.  Write us at [email protected] to let us know what you think. Next, we've been discussing the problem with creating brand new content every, single day and never stopping to promote or share the content with a wider audience.  Most people are intimidated by a blank page and a blinking cursor. But John PREFERS to start from scratch every time he sits down at his computer.   He hates having to say the same thing more than once. Has he written/spoken millions of words?  Yes.  Has he written BILLIONS?  Well, apparently that would be almost impossible...  We spend a long time debating this.But--the point it: we believe God gives us the ability to communicate, and we want to be good stewards of our resource.  The observations, devotionals, jokes, and blog posts that John wrote ten years ago are still gifts from God that we can share today!   ...even if we'd rather say something "new and fresh."To drive the point home, the Peaches reads some of John's old jokes that he DOESN'T EVEN REMEMBER WRITING.   Later:  sometimes we get angry emails from people who don't know how to unsubscribe from the John Branyan website...  Somehow, this discussion leads to contacting a famous friend and blaming him for a personal problem. Finally:  We give a quick update on the World's Dumbest Woman--which is actually a character we've created named "Pkarlina." (Pronounced "Carlina.")  What's she up to now?  Well, she divorced her husband and started dating the world's most vulgar, irresponsible man... and all her church friends are SO happy for her!Enjoy our new outro, Neighbor Pkarlgh!  Follow John Branyan on YouTube and Facebook, and we'll see you next time!  (Poop.)  

The Comedian is at the table with Mitch and Michelle Wainwright, who opted to have an apologetics presentation at their wedding ceremony.   Who's idea was that?  How exactly did they insert apologetics into the festivities?  And how was it received by their guests?Pull up a chair and join the discussion! If you'd like to get in touch with Mitch and Michelle, you can email: [email protected] John Branyan on Gab and Facebook.  Also--tune in for the Starving Comics Quarantine Show on John's YouTube channel, every Sunday night at 7:00pm Eastern.   

Welcome to the kitchen table of the Comedian Next Door. When you're here, we affectionately call you "Neighbor Pkarlgh."  The Comedian's family is gearing up for a Christmas-and-New-Year's hybrid celebration, and we have a lot of preparations to make. But first, let's talk about the sin of speaking without thinking carefully first...  Have you noticed that many, many people take their ability to communicate for granted?  Too often, they say things they don't actually mean because they don't THINK about the words they're using.  When the Bible warns against unwholesome talk or filthy language, we don't think it's only talking about 4-letter words. What about carelessly saying "God bless you" when someone sneezes?  Or carelessly saying "Amen" in response to a worldly opinion?   If you make a habit of speaking without thinking, you might end up praising the name of Lauren Daigle! (You'll just have to listen to the episode to understand that reference, Neighbor Pkarlgh.)By the way, it's cold today. But it's not as cold as it could be...Support John's comedy by visiting johnbranyan.com!

We're trying to cut down on the microphone clunking, Neighbor. Let us know how that's going. Also, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas at the Comedian's house! Unfortunately, we can't think of very many good words to describe it… So let's get down to business talking about whether Christians should be jerks! Nobody actually thinks being a jerk is a good thing. But, sometimes, comedians say things they don't mean, to help make a point. The Peaches isn't convinced that John made his point very well this time. But, luckily, she was there to help prompt a better dialog in the comment section! (You can follow John Branyan on Facebook, and read the post in question for yourself.) Next, someone on Telegram thanked us for talking about women's sins and pointing out examples of Feminism taking over the church. He said there aren't any other people (to his knowledge) that are covering this topic as solidly as we do. SO, we've got another example for your consideration today. Do Christians tend to take a mom's side so completely that they will even call her kids "crazy" when they disagree with her story? That's pretty insulting toward the kids, isn't it? And, what happens when you try to point out this phenomenon on social media in a thread where a bunch of women are sharing their testimonies of having their adult children turned against them by evil, abusive fathers? Well, if you stand up for the adult children, you will get a bunch of angry-reacts from the moms. This prompts the Peaches to say this: "In America in 2021, the people who are using their ANGER to control their family members are not usually the fathers. They are the moms loudly announcing when Mama Ain't Happy." Thanks for joining us today! Reach out with your comments and your Christmas Adjectives: [email protected] Follow John Branyan on MeWe and Gab.

Hey, Neighbor! The Podcast Ninja (Luke) shot a deer. Silas wants a quesadilla. And we've been decorating for Christmas... After all of that, we get busy talking about WHATEVER WE WANT, because we can draw connections with any two ideas if we think about it long enough! (Send us your suggestions for two seemingly-unrelated topics. We will tell you how to make them connect. It'll be fun.) There’s a meme that sometimes makes the rounds saying, “People will provoke you until they bring out your ugly side—and then play the victim because you went there!” John says it’s never appropriate to display your “ugly side”—especially if you’re going to blame others for your behavior. That’s what prisoners with criminal mindsets do. Before we share a quote like this one, we should ask ourselves if we still agree with the sentiment when it gets spoken by someone we don't like... Sidenote: if you can't see things from another person's perspective, you won't be able to make comedy. You need to know what people think the truth is--and you also need to know what the ACTUAL truth is--so you can reveal where the absurdities lie. It's silly to say that it's okay to be an abuser as long as someone else abused you first. Two wrongs don't make a right! Later: we have another story to share, but how can we make them connect? We unpack a small scandal in the Pro-Life community. (Click to visit Abby Johnson's Facebook post that we reference.) What should we do when someone tells a story that makes a GREAT pro-Life message, but the details can't be verified? What if the woman starts a non-profit and asks for donations and travels the country to share her testimony, but there are doubts about her story? And, most importantly: why would a person claim there's a police report to prove her claim, but she shouldn't have to share it?... Thanks for visiting today, Neighbor Pkarlgh! Remember to write to [email protected] with your suggestions for random topics that would be difficult to relate with each other. Houseguest Episode with Casting Crowns Founding Members Juan and Melodee DeVevo. Houseguest Episode with Babylon Bee Managing Editor Joel Berry.

Welcome to the kitchen table, Neighbor Pkarlgh! The ladies in our family get together once a week for "Just Because I Love You Day," and this time John is crashing the hen party. So, we're recording two podcasts at the same time. On the mics: John, Peaches (Amanda), Megan, and Tabby. (You can find the Four Sisters' podcast, Just Because I Love You, by clicking this link: https://open.spotify.com/show/4JRPgFcJV1xmZKO7MXhd1C ) There are twice the number of children usually in the background, so please bear with their happy chatter. On the mics: John, Peaches (Amanda), Megan, and Tabby. First of all, John's feet smell terrible and Megan had to intervene. Next, we read an email from a Pkarlgh who wants to know if we've ever caused bridges to be burned in our own family by being too blunt. JUST KIDDING! First John interrupts with a different email about how awesome our podcast is. Okay, THEN we read the letter asking how we navigate those tricky/sticky subjects when we're interacting with close relationships rather than random internet trolls. Are John and Peaches nicer on the internet or in person? Do we tone down the rhetoric to spare the feelings of our loved ones? Let's talk about how to build a resilient family that agrees about the fundamentals of truth and boldness!

We have a HOUSEGUEST at the table today! We're chatting with Joel Berry, managing editor of the Babylon Bee, and John is proud to be one of Joel's very first friends. Joel knows a thing or two about being funny in a culture that finds everything offensive. Join us as we discuss what it takes to run a successful satire website, while still maintaining a clear conscience before God. In this episode: --Huckabee's GORGEOUS greenroom --How Joel landed his dream job --Comedians and childhood trauma --Saturday Night Live's Abortion Clown --Self-Deprecation --Mocking Bad Ideas rather than People --Crossing the line "If we reach the point where Christians take back this culture for Jesus and the Church is back on top, we'll be back to writing all our jokes about the Church again." --Joel Berry Please check out the Babylon Bee's Guide to Wokeness on Amazon.

Hey, Neighbor! Sorry for the technical glitch in the intro. No idea what's going on there. John just came back from St. Louis, where he was hanging out with Tim Hawkins' family. They recorded a podcast which will get published next week and involves important conversation about grapes. NO SPOILERS! You'll just have to listen when it's available. Also: tune in Wednesday, because we've got a HOUSEGUEST in the form of the Babylon Bee's managing editor, Joel Berry. And now the moment you've all been waiting for... Introducing PKARGHLINA! (Pronounced: Carlina) Anytime we want to share a true story of a woman doing something foolish, we call that woman "Pkarghlina." Sometimes she has babies with five different men. Sometimes she calls herself Mama Bear and wastes the time of the police. It doesn't matter what Pkarghlina's real name is. What matters is the behavior that should be avoided. We're writing modern day morality tales over here, Neighbor! Don't be a fox...or a Pkarghlina. Finally, we talk more about empathy vs sympathy, because Doug Wilson reacted to a cartoon on the subject. The Peaches had already seen the cartoon before, because it was assigned as part of the curriculum for becoming a Birth Doula. In a culture that encourages everyone to stop judging and keep FEELING, no wonder Pkarlghina is so confused. Thanks for visiting our home today! If you aren't a member of the Comedy Clique already, you can sign up at Johnbranyan.com Also, email your questions/comments to [email protected] .

Hi, neighbor! If you're listening, we call you "Pkarlgh." It's another challenging day in Homeschool Land. Shockingly, when you set out to educate your children, it's not all smiling faces and photo ops. Lots of people think they can solve this problem by throwing another trillion dollars at the public school system--to reward the "good teachers" who are trying to get 8-year-olds to stop writing more wrong answers before you've finished erasing the first one… John thinks there are actually people in the world who WANT to educate their own kids, but the Peaches thinks the word "want" isn't quite accurate. Nobody WANTS to kill their flesh daily. Only self-sacrificial love will motivate someone to keep marching down the Parenting Path, on really hard days like today. Cami is making banana pancakes in the background, so please allow for a few important recipe-related interruptions. Next, apparently some people think we need to water the deserts until they become forests… Also, someone asks John for his credentials when it comes to "the ability to certify Truth." Finally, we get around to talking about Christian people who identify as "Empaths," not realizing it's a concept related to the New Age Occult. John didn't even realize how relevant this topic is, despite the Peaches telling him that pretty much every woman on Instagram is bragging about her "Empathic" ability to "feel other people's energy" as soon as they walk into a room. People who hang around on "trauma support groups" and read books about "surviving narcissists" are absolutely steeped in this spiritual-sounding garbage. They're being told they HAVE to be selfish and protect themselves from abusers, because they are tender-hearted saints while everyone around them is a horrible sinner. Let us know if you need a shower after this episode, Neighbor! Grab a crystal ball and two candles and follow us to the weird part of the internet.

We're here at the kitchen table with a neighborhood celebrity--our FLF brother--Adam "AD" Robles. To kick off, we joke about not knowing what we're supposed to be talking about. Except, it's not really a joke, and we literally don't know what we're talking about… Eventually, we find our rhythm and dissect the way "Evangelical" leadership has failed to defend itself against Cancel Culture. (Hello, Josh McDowell!) But maybe the falling away of cowardly pastors is a blessing in disguise?… In this episode, we cover: -AD's massive network of executive staff -Why John's podcast is boring -How Josh McDowell cancelled HIMSELF -Should Christians be FEARED in the culture? -Should parents be FEARED by their children? -Feminism permeates the culture, including churches -How Evangelicals regularly misjudge the cultural moment -Plus, Pkarlgh (our listener) gets a suave new Spanish nickname! "If Josh McDowell could not stand up to the woke Everything-Is-Racist mob, then maybe it's time for him to step aside. The last think that Evangelicalism needs is ANOTHER person who won't stand up to paganism and evil ideologies. So, he shouldn't have done it; he shouldn't have resigned. But, since he's the type of guy who would resign--good!" --AD Robles "Evangelicalism has made it an artform of preaching the sermon that does not need to be preached right now…" --AD Robles Bonus: Why AD is grateful for Transgenders at Hooters.

Welcome to the Comedian's house, Neighbor Pkarlgh! If you don't want to spend a long time shooting the breeze about Japanese food, we apologize in advance. .... John published a post about "Peacemaking" this week, and the Peaches wasn't impressed with his delivery. It was a bit rambly and unorganized. Buuuuut, there were some strong points. Here's the private message John received: "I do have to ask, have you become a Facebook troll? Hahaha! It's funny. But you seem to donate your opinions, many of which I also agree. But they are unsolicited. As I am tempted to throw my two-cents into a Facebook thread, I am also reminded that 'blessed are the peacemakers.' Are you helping to keep the peace?" This is a perfectly reasonable question! But, sometimes comedians aren't very nuanced when they have a point to make. There are two issues with this private message. #1. Private messages are like dragging someone out of the townsquare into a dark alley, where there are no witnesses, so you can confront them. #2. The definition of "peacemaking" in the Western church is a bit messed up. Unfortunately, too many people want to jusify their cowardice by calling themselves "peacemakers." But Peacemaking isn't refusing to fight; it's fighting the RIGHT PEOPLE... Send us an email: [email protected], Thanks for laughing with us, Neighbor!

Welcome to our house, Neighbor! We're not over-exaggerating when we say John and the Peaches aren't seeing completely eye-to-eye on this episode. Be prepared for a little bickering... A listener weighs in on a recent episode. Do teachers WANT their students to be as offended as possible? The Peaches disagrees with both John and the Neighbor who sent us this email. Many, many, many Tik-Tok, Instagram influencers claim they were raised by parents who didn't LOVE them enough, and it caused them to have low self-esteem. (Their parents were selfish.) So, they think the solution is to LOVE THEMSELVES in ways their parents never did. In other words: they want to become as self-focused and self-absorbed as their parents were. Eventually, the Peaches brings up the Golden Rule, and that's where things start to go off the rails. What happens when people start reading the Bible for OTHERS instead of applying it to themselves?... Well, it doesn't work. (We agree about that.) But John thinks it's possible to take the Golden Rule too far...? Or something?... And then we have to talk about BDSM, so it gets weird. Sorry, Neighbor. We unnecessarily complicated this whole thing. But, bottom line: We think there are parents and teachers out there who selfishly train up children to be THEIR PERSONAL SERVANTS; they are raising kids to be part of a world that revolves around THEM... Finally, the Peaches whirls about whether you can respect an idea or belief that you disagree with. Why is this so hard for people to grasp?!?!?! If you like being part of our kitchen table conversations, you can support The Comedian Next Door by joining the Comedy Clique! (Details at johnbranyan.com)

This episode is dedicated to reading comments, emails, and reviews from people who aren't very impressed with John Branyan (to say the least). Welcome to the kitchen table, Neighbor Pkarlgh! If you have always wanted to tell John that he's an incompetant loser who wouldn't understand humor if it fell from a tree and knocked him over, then you're going to love this! If you'd like to send us some hate mail, you can contact us here: [email protected] Thanks for laughing with our family, Pkarlgh!

We've got a HOUSEGUEST at the Kitchen Table today: our friend and educator, Chris "Shoof" Scheufele. Chris travels the country giving talks to students about how to be emotionally resilient. Recently, he delivered a speech at a new school that went GREAT! Everyone laughed, they clapped, and they wanted to have him come back again soon… Well, ALMOST everyone… We talk about the way a small minority of offended teachers can control the entire school. Why does the principal allow this to happen? How can Christians stand up to Cancel Culture? And is Chris interested in joining a group of Christian allies who will stand up for him whenever he's attacked by humorless nincompoops? All this and more in today's HOUSEGUEST episode! You can find Chris at chrisintheclassroom.com and on Facebook on the "Chris in the Classroom" page.

Hi, Neighbor Pkarlgh! We decided to record a podcast in the middle of the Facebook Outage, because we thought it might be headline news for longer than 10 minutes... John talked to his Computer Coding Genius friend who gave us some insider information on why the whole system went down for the longest blackout in the platform's history. THEN, we give an update about the Speeding Ticket Lady from last week's episode about toxic femininity. (Spoiler: she still has dozens of people encouraging her bad behavior.) NEXT, too many people just KEEP TALKING when they're upset, which only makes everything worse. If folks would learn to SHUT UP until their strong emotions pass, the world would be a better place. We understand that sometimes you feel like venting! And sometimes you make mistakes and get frustrated with yourself and others. But it's better to JUST SHUT UP. FINALLY, the Peaches reads one of her old blog posts (from 2010) about how you should NEVER say "shut up" to anyone. Her tirade is pretty funny in light of the title of this episode... But, at the time, it was a serious argument she had with her new husband. As much as she didn't appreciate being told to shut up, it turned out to be decent advice. Thank you for joining us at the kitchen table! Visit johnbranyan.com to become part of the Comedy Clique and get exclusive content.

The Peaches didn't write a proper summary for this episode, Neighbor. Here are the bare basics: our culture finds it much easier to identify and call out "toxic masculinity" than to recognize when WOMEN are being toxic. So--today we're talking about sinful female behavior (with examples from social media). But, before all of that, we share a plan for how to handle our new Serial Scam Caller next time he rings the Comedy Business Phone with a thick Hindi accent… Please consider supporting John Branyan by joining the Comedy Clique at johnbranyan.com

We're at the kitchen table with good friend and ventriloquist, David Pendleton--but DON'T CALL HIM DAVE! If you've never listened to a conversation with David before, you won't know that he's an expert on German Baptist theology. (It's a long story, Neighbor Pkarlgh. But you can listen to the German Baptist episode of the Comedy Sojourn by clicking here: Scandals, Forgiveness, Foot-washing, and German Baptists ) Today, David gives just a brief description of the baptism ceremony in the German Baptist community--and then we're able to seque nicely into talking about a DIFFERENT kind of fundamentalism which is infecting the culture... That is, Woke Fundamentalism. David has been a staff member at Campus Crusade for Christ since the mid-80's, and he has an insider's perspective to share regarding the recent criticism of (and subsequent apology from) Josh McDowell. David's testimony may or may not include examples from Cru's internal message boards. This is an extended episode detailing how a once strong, faithful organization can become infiltrated by unChristian ideas in a relatively short amount of time. "Here's the important narrative here… if you say that a certain group of people do not have equal opportunity, you cannot then attribute it to something that is true within their culture. You always have to attribute it to [being] because they have been victimized." --David Pendleton Join us at the table! You can find David's website at anythingcantalk.com Find John at johnbranyan.com

We have SO MANY THINGS TO TALK ABOUT, Neighbor! Tune in next Wednesday for our houseguest episode with David Pendleton with some BREAKING CULTURAL NEWS. There’s a scandal related to a respected Christian institution, and you probably aren’t even aware of it, yet. But that’s why you listen to the Comedian Next Door! So you can be “in the know.” Next, John wants to get to the mail—but he has to suffer the Peaches’ sound effects first. (He was so proud of that Mouth Honk last week, and now, suddenly, it’s a burden...) Our listener, Pkarlgh, writes to us from Canada using plenty of commas and making several observations about the sad state of our culture. She closes with a question about what to call “healthcare” when it’s being controlled by tyrannical professionals who hold political grudges. We have some suggestions, of course. Later, John has a quote from G.K. Chesterton. But it takes awhile for him to read it because we enlist the help of the Podcast Ninja (Luke) to demonstrate a perfect British accent. Eventually, John shares the quote: “[Jesus] restrained something… I say it with reverence that there was, in this shattering personality, a thread that must be called shyness. There was something He hid from all men when he went up a mountain to pray. There was something that he covered constantly by abrupt silence or impetuous isolation. There was one thing that was too great for God to show us when He walked upon our earth. And I have sometimes fancied that it was his mirth.” We don’t want to disagree with the famous Theologian. Buuuuut… we’re not sure why he assumes Jesus wasn’t mirthful. And that’s just the first 15 minutes! We spend the rest of this long-winded episode mildly chastising the Focus on the Family initiative to “Take Your Bible To School.” We propose: take your school to CHURCH and stop trying to sprinkle a little bit of Jesus on top of your secular education… We have much more to say about godless, Secular Humanist education and the public school system. Join the conversation! And, if you want to send us your comments and questions, write to: [email protected]!

Welcome, Pkarlgh! The birthday party prep is in full swing, and 5-year-old Emery was given the best chore ever! This reminds John of a new segment idea: Is This a Joke?! As the culture continues to swim in irrationality, there are a lot of things happening that would have been considered unbelievable 20 years ago... For example: Atheist chaplains and women who put their sons in dresses and then complain that they're being bullied... Is this a joke? Related: John is very proud of the new sound he can make with his mouth. Let us know if you're as impressed as he is, by emailing [email protected] . Finally, it's mail time! How can we be respectful toward our bodies as temples and have dignity as Christians made in God's image--while we're laughing at everything? It's a good question, Pkarlgh! We should want to be mature...responsible...respectable...and to maintain a human dignity. However--we shouldn't be too preoccupied with being SEEN as very grown up. C.S. Lewis has a great quote about our quest for maturity. Shout out to Tony and Joseph on the Patriarchy Podcast! They're our network brothers on Fight, Laugh, Feast... Then we spend waaaaaay too long trying to think of a synonym for "frivolous." Don't forget: A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men. --Roald Dahl The most dignified parts of this podcast have--by far--been the most boring. And what does Cami's experience on a roller coaster have to do with struggling to be dignified? Finally, we wrap up with a quick Whirl from the Peaches. Christians have historically been very Libertarian-leaning. (Small government, free markets, etc.) But we don't live in a moral society anymore. We can't value "free choice" at all costs--when our neighbors are "choosing" to kill babies. And we can't value free enterprise at all costs, when pagan corporations are censoring Christian thought… Please consider becoming a member of the John Branyan Comedy Clique by visiting johnbranyan.com. We can't do what we do without you, Neighbor!

Hi, Neighbor! When you're hanging out at the Comedian's house, we affectionately call you "Pkarlgh." So welcome, Pkarlgh. We're just getting back from the Fight Laugh Feast Conference, literally minutes before recording, and John is sporting some stylish new Ear Gear. How comfortable are his new headphones?... Well... the Peaches gives the best description she can muster. Hard consonants are funny, Pkarlgh. That's your free advice from the professional today. And speaking of funny words, please wish Collin "good well" on his 8th birthday. Feel free to ask if you can share some of his lollipop or soda. We'll know whether you listened to this episode if you use the special phrase! After we talk about "duck" and "suck," we discover there is another relevant word, used by an angry Feminist when addressing unvaccinated individuals. The Podcast Ninja (Luke) shared his favorite take-away from the Conference: tyranny happens incrementally, through hundreds of tiny compromises. Long story very short, THAT'S why we find our culture suddenly being bullied into compliance by Mama Bears who are PROUD to use emotional manipulation on Facebook. Whoops, pause for a second, Pkarlgh! The Peaches needs to update the official outro, now that the FLF Conference is over. Now what do you think of the new one? (We especially hope you enjoy the contribution from 3-year-old Silas.) Please send any comments or questions to [email protected]. Follow the John Branyan channel on YouTube and watch the Starving Comics Quarantine Show LIVE every Sunday night at 7:00pm Eastern. (Comments left during the LIVE stream can be featured in the show!) If you're not a Club Member in the Fight Laugh Feast Network already, what's wrong with you?! Sign up at flfnetwork.com, and you can get caught up on the talks that were given at the conference this weekend!

We don't know what we're talking about today, Neighbor Pkarlghl! But that never stops us from filling 45 minutes with meandering conversation... Emmi (5-years-old) treats us to a very quiet recitation of "The Elephant." Then we get ready to open the mailbag. (But first--a quick plug for the Fight Laugh Feast Conference. John says we'll be recording the next episode live at the conference, and hopefully that's true!) This week, someone mistook John's youngest daughter, Tabby, for his wife. (Awkward.) And someone else named their computer "Pkarlgh" in honor of this podcast. (Awesome!) Then the Peaches' is asked for an update about the vaccine mandate being imposed on her husband, who's a registered nurse. Luke was granted a religious exemption, and the Peaches shares the details about the scathing letter they wrote and gave to the hospital. Healthcare is a mess right now! Good employees are being fired (or walking out), and the leadership teams are panicking. Facebook groups of angry healthcare workers are being blown off the internet. What a time to be alive! Then John asks, "Why do administrators think they can just be nasty--and bare their teeth--and then people will do what they want?" And the answer is…unfortunately, because that DOES work sometimes. This leads to a conversation about Christians being bullied into deleting things off the internet. Later, Rick Warren said the best way to love your neighbor in this era is to wear a mask. John has some thoughts about that. And the Peaches thinks people on both sides of the debate are actually afraid they might be wrong... Thank you to the Fight Laugh Feast Network for hosting us--and thank you to Subsplash for sponsoring the app. If you can't get enough of the Comedian, you can follow John Branyan on YouTube and Gab. Or, visit johnbranyan.com to become a member of the Comedy Clique and enjoy exclusive content. See you next time!

We are laaaaaate, Neighbor Pkarlgh! It has been a busy weekend at Vacay with Comics. (And, also, our microphones weren't turned up…but that may have been a smaller percentage of the problem.) Vacay was a success, despite Luke and Joe trying to ruin our reputation with alcohol. Completely unplanned, both John and The Peaches are talking about Parents With Problems. First, a father of two kids is "NOT OKAY" (his words, not ours), because the pandemic is cramping his style. It turns out, he can't really decide whether he wants his kids to go back to public school or he wants to keep them home, safe, where they are driving him crazy. Then, John reads a post from a mother of a newborn who is also NOT OKAY. (Our words, not hers.) She is afraid the new baby will get sick, so she won't let anyone hold him…including the big brothers and sisters. The Peaches reads a post she wrote on this subject long before the COVID circus. Excerpt: "PLEASE, please don't believe the lie that you can prevent tragedies if you refuse to let your babies be kissed or snuggled. Please don't demand that everyone within 20 miles get flu shots, or they will be eaten by Mama Bear. Please don't threaten to rip apart families over a pacifier that didn't get sterilized. And please--please--don't isolate yourself from family and friends out of fear that they'll contaminate your baby. Because… THIS DOESN'T PREVENT TRAGEDY--It'S ACTUALLY A SICKNESS OF ITS OWN." We would love to hear from you, Pkarlgh! Email us as [email protected] to weigh in. Also, it's not too late to visit with us at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference, September 9th - 11th. Details at flfnetwork.com.

Welcome to the kitchen table, Neighbor Pkarlgh! Our houseguests are physically in the house with us, for once. Normally, when Juan and Melodee are in town, we selfishly keep them all to ourselves, and we talk and play games without recording anything. But, today, we're sharing a portion of our conversation about speaking TRUTH without lacking LOVE. (This is one of Juan's favorite topics.) "I've given a lot of thought to this Truth and Love debate that we're all having… One of my favorite authors is CS Lewis, and he says the enemy always introduces errors into the world in pairs of opposites…" -Juan DeVevo Can we think of examples of speaking Truth -without- love? And what do Harriet the Spy and Rosie O'Donnell have to do with this? Plus: the Peaches tells the DeVevos about a "gender non-binary" Kindergarden teacher who is brainwashing 5-year-olds in a nearby town. While Christians have been agonizing over whether they're loving enough, the culture has been taken over by crazies who have no problem telling your children they can be "LGBT kiddos." You can see Juan and Melodee on the Casting Crowns Drive-In Tour. Details at castingcrowns.com. Also, become part of John Branyan's Comedy Clique by visiting johnbranyan.com and clicking around until you find a problem with the website and get frustrated and email us at [email protected]

Welcome to the kitchen table of The Comedian Next Door! John is sporting some stylish new tech equipment that you'll just have to imagine. We have three, separate pieces of mail to read--the most important of which declares THE PEACHES WAS RIGHT about something. But, also, John's comedy could cure generations of insomnia, according to a certain critic. If you think you can do a better job insulting John, then send your attempts to [email protected]. (Keep in mind, the Peaches prefers the "Kill Them With Kindness" approach.) The harder you swing, the more pathetic your attempts to hurt another person are... The Peaches invites you to agree with her! Don't miss our Houseguest episode releasing this Wednesday! We'll have Juan and Melodee DeVevo, of Casting Crowns, to discuss education, culture, and the Kindergarten teacher who identifies as NEITHER "Miss nor Mister." Finally, John reads an article from a non-christian comedian who has noticed the way Cancel Culture is affecting the comedy world. When the author was attacked by the LGBT mob, he received private messages of support, saying he did nothing wrong. But--publicly--nobody defended him. "There are lessons here that go well beyond comedy. While the vast majority of my readers, even the Canadian ones, have never heard of [this Trans Comedian], or the rest of her clique, the examples show...tiny groups of enforcers can poison an entire artistic subculture, despite these enforcers' lack of any real commercial success..." (Full article here: https://quillette.com/2021/08/01/life-as-a-stand-up-comic-can-be-brutal-safe-space-call-out-culture-is-making-it-unbearable/) In other words, a person who's not even a FUNNY COMEDIAN can somehow influence the entire culture. Never, ever ask a woman or couple if they're planning to have children... Never, ever, ever, ever ask certain questions. The Enforcers have spoken! Being afraid to speak what's on your mind will affect the entire Comedy Industry and the rest of society. We'll see you at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference, Neighbor! Join John Branyan's Comedy Clique by visiting johnbranyan.com and becoming a member.

Hi, Neighbor Pkarlgh! As you probably don't know, John has a Dry Bar special which periodically goes viral on social media and doesn't impact his career in the least. Be careful if you think you want tons of followers on social media! Trust us when we say, climbing to the "next level" of internet popularity isn't what it's cracked up to be. This leads to a possible opportunity for the Peaches to be in a Whirl about something. (But we're not sure.) (And also, John sounds like his nose is stuffed up.) Eventually, he clears his sinuses enough to read a social media post from a woman who doesn't think her child's father needs to be praised for "simple" things like changing diapers and washing bottles. Why do some people focus obsessively on how much or how little encouragment is being given to them BY STRANGERS? We spend the majority of the conversation discussing the reasons you shouldn't tear others down to make yourself feel better, nor should you fool yourself into believing that others are happier because their efforts are recognized more than your own. Finally--does anyone know whether lobsters ACTUALLY step on each others back to get out of buckets? Email us at [email protected] to solve this mystery. Subscribe to the John Branyan channel on YouTube and watch the Starving Comics Quarantine Show LIVE every Sunday evening at 7:00pm Eastern. Become a Comedy Clique member for exclusive content. (Details at johnbranyan.com) And, finally, have your pets spayed and neutered. Support the Fight Laugh Feast network by becoming a Club Member. Download the Fight Laugh Feast app for easier listening!

The Peaches is pretty distracted, as it's almost lunchtime and the whole family is gathering after church. John reads some mail from a Neighbor who regrets learning how comedy is made... Sometimes accepting the truth requires a full grief cycle. Next, John shares a quote from a preacher asking for help engaging the young families who have started coming to his church. (Specifically, the preacher wants "doctrinally sound" videos and other resources to share with the newcomers.) Why is John being so hyper-critical this week?! John's point: church leaders already should have doctrinally sound resources in their possession--whether they have new families visiting or not. Amanda's point: many church leaders have been told it's right and proper to defer to "the experts" when it comes to dispensing resources. We live in a culture that values outsourced knowledge more than homemade tools. For whatever reason, we think it lends a certain credibility when we can share a well-produced video made by SOMEONE ELSE, rather than creating something of our own. Pause. John needs to go get a drink before he chokes to death. Okay, now he wants the Peaches to tell the story of the tomato in the toaster. But first, we need to pause again to retrieve the pizza. When we finally resume recording again, it has been a couple of hours. (We can't keep secrets from you, Pkarlgh!) But we eventually get around to discussing the tomato in the toaster. Collin, who's seven-years-old, is starting to show signs of maturity, and we are optimistic he's going to be a free-thinking adult some day! This reminds us of great advice from Pastor Doug Wilson: give your kids FEWER rules. Make the principles broad, and trust the children to be smart enough to reason for themselves. And that's pretty much a wrap, Pkarlgh! Make sure you visit johnbranyan.com for information about Vacay with Comics. This is the LAST WEEK to register. If you can't make it for the full weekend retreat, just come for the showcase on Saturday, August 21st. Link is here: https://johnbranyan.com/vacay-showcase/ You also can meet the Comedian's family at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in September. Club members get a discount on their registration. Click here for more info: https://flfnetwork.com/politics-of-sex-conference/

Today, we're talking all things "education" with Jesse Sumpter! Parents have a responsibility to educate their children--but too many of us are abdicating our roles to the nearest government school building and hoping a Christian disciple emerges in 12 years. We are so excited to pick Jesse's brain about how to inspire fellow Christians to band together and build a school that impacts the Kingdom. Quotes from this episode: "We want freedom to educate our children how we want to, as Christians, and we want to do that in obedience to God's word." "The first foundation of all good teaching is to tell the truth...and that is fundamentally at odds with the government school system." "To convince people of a new thing, you can give them literature and give them books--you can have thoughtful conversations with them--but the other way of getting through to people is just saying, 'Come and see.' We're humans. We're embodied people, we have to see it sometimes for ourselves..." PLUS, a story about a flat tire AND why Jesse is worried (and also not worried) about artificial intelligence. Jesse is teaching a virtual class called "Education is Warfare: How to Start a School" on the Fight Laugh Feast network. Visit flfnetwork.com for more details. Follow John Branyan on Gab, MeWe, and Facebook. Also, check out his YouTube channel!

Tabby is at the table today. She's John's OTHER daughter (and the Peaches' sister). Good luck figuring out which voice belongs to which sister. We kick off the conversation with an email letting John know there was a sliiiiiiight problem with his 3-minute devotionals this week. (Oops.) Then--the Peaches shares an excerpt from a self-help book about how nothing is okay and everything sucks. Somehow, this leads nicely into an audio clip featuring Robin DiAngelo, who explains that you can joke about white people...but you can't joke about people of color, because they're "different." Peaches gets John's reaction to that opinion. All of this is punctuated by Kid Noises and general familial interruptions. What does it mean when comedians talk about "punching up" or "punching down"...and why does John want to attach extra prepositions to the end of those terms? How have so many Jewish people mastered the art of comedy? Why can't worship leaders laugh at themselves? What are some good insults to use on Tabby? All of this and more! Follow John Branyan on Gab, MeWe, and Facebook. Also: check out his YouTube channel and tune in for the Starving Comics Quarantine Show, every Sunday at 7:00pm Eastern. We'll see you at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in September! (Club members will get a discount on registration.)