The Comedian Next Door

Hi, Neighbor!  John and Luke called an "audible" at church last week and switched up the communion prep system.  Who's going to be mad about that?  (Well, some people might.)  If you start taking responsibility and making decisions then you will deal with some pushback. But, overall, you will be a HUGE ASSET to a healthy church (or soccer program).  Leaders take initiative! Later:  Luke shares his fail-proof system for aspiring conversationalists. If you're wondering, "How does Luke always have something interesting to say???" be prepared to take notes! Email the Comedian's family at [email protected] 

Hey, Neighbor! We thought we uploaded this episode ON TIME, but technical difficulties occurred...Better late than never!  

It's snowy in Indiana--but the Peaches broke a power pole back when the roads were basically clear.  Luke did a show with Dave Dugan, and John did a show in Wisconsin (Wa-Keh-Shaw). Were these "good" events or "bad" ones? It totally depends on your perspective!  Any single event could be both good and bad, or both challenging and successful at the same time. John still gets rushes of adrenaline when he's going on stage. Luke and his brother-in-law struggle to sleep immediately after a performance.  But is that the same thing as stage fright or "nervousness?"  The difference between "Excitement" and "anxiety" is simply whether you're looking forward to it or not.  Later: Most people in the audience do not want the speaker to fail. They're on your side!  But even the pros get sweaty while managing their adrenaline.  It's normal!  Can we learn to thank God regardless of whether we are feeling wide awake or ready to curl up and rest? Finally:  Let's beat a dead horse...that is still trotting around... We know a pastor whose daughter found a questionable book in her school library.  What should he do now? Contact the Comedian's family by emailing [email protected]  

Hey, Neighbor, we're recording on Superbowl Sunday...  not to be confused with Tuesdays with Taylor... (By the way, are you the Master of your own Sea?) Then: Not only do Christians like to identify as "Sinners," but we like to sanitize the behavior of the Unbelievers. We want to give them the benefit of the doubt--even though they are Lost. Later: We tried to raise Luke's bloodpressure with the story of a grumpy patient complaining about her stay at the hospital.  But he is pretty unflappable.    Do you know what the medical community does with particularly uncooperative patients? Finally: Let's talk about the idol of People Pleasing.  What IS the difference between having a "servant's heart" and being a people-pleaser? Contact the comedian's family: [email protected]

We have an extra guest at the table today, Neighbor!  Also, John's sons-in-law created a video game character who is almost indescribably ugly.  But we try anyway. Either way--let's get down to business...  Transformers and electronic tablets are for Christians/Saints--not for Sinners. Boy, this is a controversial topic in our community right now.  Is it wise to refer to Christians as "Sinners saved by grace?"   The Peaches really feels encouraged, because she was called a "she-devil" several times.  What inspired that kind of vitriol? It was the suggestion (no--insistence) that being a Saint who struggles with sin is very different from continuing to identify with your sin by calling yourself a "sinner."   Saying "I am a sinner" is an identity statement.  One person told us, "I was a sinner, I am a sinner, and it's what I ALWAYS WILL BE."   Yuck.  That comes from unthoughtful church culture--not from God's Word.  The power of the Gospel is completely removed when Christians still cling to their sinful identity. God calls us Children (He calls us Saints). But Americans still call themselves "Sinners."Later: Listen to some truly unhinged accusations from really, really angry people. Email the Comedian's Family at [email protected]. 

Hey, Neighbor.  Our beloved YouTube show, Starving Comics, is coming to an end.  (Or, it has already come to an end--since you're listening after the end.)  We hope you're thoroughly confused. Or at least angry. If you're sad, we can definitely give you a different emotion to experience...   By the way, make note of the fact that Kevin James has a new comedy special, but John doesn't want to say anything else about it.  Then: Lots of comedians struggle with needing validation from strangers. But that's not really John's temptation.  For the Peaches, taking a picture with Elijah Wood is actually VOMITOUS. Later: What does any of this have to do with a hoarder who keeps bottles of human waste near her fridge? People need to have their conscience trained...but nobody is willing to tell them when they're GROSS. Email the Comedian's family at [email protected]. 

We are pretty cold over here, Neighbor! Wrap up in your fleece blanket, and you'll fit right in...Luke wants to talk about CHURCH DISCIPLINE today. Let's see if this topic is as controversial as the last one he picked... Plus, the Peaches went to an MLK service at an urban church. (What a trip!)  Can we weave these two things together? Later:  Luke shares a post from a woman who is outraged that she was excommunicated.  Everybody likes the idea of church discipline, as long as it goes one way... The same way everyone loves to talk about "conquering" and fighting for political power--as long as it's in the context of an MLK service and not being applied by a white "Christian Nationalist." Finally:  John talked with a guy this week who wants to help thousands of people "make decisions for Christ." But--he doesn't want to have an awkward conversation with his own kids.  Contact the Comedian's family by emailing [email protected] 

Welcome to the table, Neighbor! The kids are playing in the background, and the PodNinja is feeling more talkative than usual... To kick things off, John shares why he hopes he gets invited to host the Golden Globes.  Next:   he Church love to retreat.  Most Christians think they are leaving a "neutral ground" in the middle of the battle field, but that's not how it works!  When we step back, it leaves a vacuum that "sucks" the anti-religious Nut Jobs into our old spot that we were too cowardly to stand in.  Later:  There's a campground near our home that is "rebranding."  (Their words.) They are moving away from a family-style nature...and now, they will be "catering to the LGBT, Adults-Only crowd." (Their words again.)  Yes, really!  You must be 18 just to walk out on the disc golf course. Finally, the Pod Ninja (known for his powerful silence) actually brought a topic of discussion!  There are some theologically-questionable things on Reddit.  Did Jesus hang out with Sinners? Should we take stuff personally?   Should we abandon our kids when we don't feel affection, like the animals do? Don't have fellowship with Sinners, neighbor!  You can email the Comedian's family at [email protected].    

Hey, Neighbor! The Podcast Ninja had a run-in with a power tool that might leave you feeling a bit light headed.  Then, John shares his New Year's Message for young people... don't promise stuff if you don't really mean it. Words matter, and "semantics" matter. Which brings us to another point:  AMERICANS ARE SHOCKINGLY ILLITERATE.  (We bring statistics!)  Why does John hate audiobooks so much? Also: The Podcast Ninja reads an amazing book review from Amazon that will make you laugh if you understand the words. Thanks for listening! Email the Comedian's family at [email protected]

Hey, Neighbor! This episode was supposed to air on Christmas Day...   but OOPS! Enjoy this late gift, from us. --The Comedian's Family

Hey, Neighbor. This is PART TWO of the conversation with Juan DeVevo regarding the parable of the sower.  (You know, some people are going to reject the Gospel no matter how we present it. So what do we make of that reality?!) We humans love to take credit for our own goodness.  But--taking God's glory for ourselves is literally the worst sin we can commit.  Meanwhile, we like to give our neighbors the benefit of the doubt. But when we assume they are a pretty good, charitable person, that is still judging their heart! (Plus: why did a U.S. President snub Juan?) Later: -Celebrities are still strangers, even when they profess to be Christians.  -"What's up with Jesus having to DIE on the CROSS?!"  -Most church people will let absolutely anyone teach the kids' Sunday School class -AND, more complaints about Ken Ham...  (lol)   Follow Juan on tour at castingcrowns.com.  Email the Comedian at [email protected]

We're puzzling at the table today!  John hurt himself AGAIN. (No surprise.) And we have some news we have been (unintentionally) keeping from you, Neighbor, but the Peaches is too sick to share... Later: John was un-invited from a show for a charity organization, because his blog doesn't support gay people.  But do we really want to work for non-profit Do-Gooders who deny the importance of Christ?  It's time to cancel the people who think they're HELPING the poor, without Jesus.  Those self-righteous God-deniers are doing far more damage than John's (truthful) blog post. Contact the Comedian's Family... Email [email protected]

The Comedian (John Branyan) and the Musician (Juan DeVevo) are at it again.  Do you ever hurt yourself while doing manly things?... The two swap stories about injuries, going all the way back to elementary school! Then, MEMES! Let's recap the happenings on social media this month, including the stupidest hot takes about religion.   Why would a PASTOR share a picture of Kat Von D in lingerie?  Answer: people post very stupid hot takes on social media...   Later:  John and Juan unpack the parable of the Sower.  It's actually kind of depressing when you think about it: there's an awful lot of opportunity for seeds to be lost.  Who's in and who's out? Does God love everybody equally? Email the comedian at [email protected] . Catch up with Juan's little band by looking at his tour schedule: castingcrowns.com. 

Welcome to the kitchen table, Neighbor! First:  We discuss what has come to be labeled "Spanking Gate." The Peaches was encouraged to hear the Wilson's response to all the controversy.  Their Family Interventions sound very similar in seriousness to the Branyan Family Meetings! Then:  There's nothing like being accused of child abuse from people whose parenting solutions are found in prescription bottles. "Please don't help your child learn to control her own emotions...just control her emotions for her, using drugs!" Later: Luke found a question from a single mom on the internet: should she marry the kind man who provides for her and her son?  Or should she wait for someone who cuts his hair more often? Finally: The Peaches shares a juicy parenting anecdote, for the Internet mobs to find in another 10-15 years. The 10-year-old was made to participate in a group hug, and he was disciplined when he refused.  Please send your comments to [email protected] 

Hello, Neighbor.   We apologize for any unseriousness you've gotten from our podcast in the past.  We do our best to be VERY serious in this episode...  Recently there have been several emails (and a text message!) asking for more in-depth advice about Real Life Stuff--especially parenting. We do our best to expand on the principles that guide our parenting decisions, while also reminding everyone that each kid/family is different. Have you ever been so angry that you would have hurled yourself into traffic, just to (somehow) spite the other person?  The Peaches has! And so has her young child.  As God reveals more to us about our own sin natures, we're better able to share those truths with our kids... Email the Comedian at [email protected].  Stay serious, everyone!

Here we are again, Neighbor... We're still causing a bit of a stir with our belief that it's difficult to talk about timelines when dealing with the creative behavior of a Timeless God. Is it unChristian to study theoretical physics and explore the impact of Einstein's Theory of Relativity on the biblical narrative?  Should we have the exact same understanding of Scripture the Ancient's had--as if we don't own telescopes now? If so--we are guilty as charged.But if you like to image what mass and gravity and velocity could have been doing at the moment God said "let there be light," you might actually LIKE this conversation...Ignore the part at the end where The Peaches says cooky things about Jesus reversing the curse and conquering death. Obviously, that has nothing to do with the Bible's teaching about death/sin, and women shouldn't be trying to understand this stuff.  Email us if you'd like to set the whole family straight:  [email protected] Disclaimer:  we believe the Bible is completely inerrant, and we affirm a literal, biblical interpretation of the Genesis story.  :)   Also--this is not a salvation issue. 

Hi, Neighbor! We want to apologize for the quality of our last episode.  It was actually a GREAT conversation, if you were able to decipher it. Today, let's talk a little more about creation!   In essentials, unity. In opinions, liberty. And in everything, love. That's all well and good, isn't it?  But WHAT ARE THE ESSENTIALS? Most Christians don't care (on the surface) how old the earth is... but we DO care about making sure our kids understand "the essentials."  So, if we're being told we MUST read Genesis a particular way in order to raise Christian kids, that will pique our interest.   Most mothers are willing to write "24-hours" into their Bibles, if that's what it takes.  People are concerned with what affects their DAILY LIFE.  In general, they're not impacted by whether God used millions of years to prepare the earth for humans, except that they're being told their kids will leave the faith if they DON'T teach Young Earth Creationism. Later:  A Good Man Will Do the Dishes!!!  (Listen as we explain why Michael Foster is way more interesting than Ken Ham.)  There may be some Christians in reformed circles who are tired of talking about marriage, parenting, and other "basics." But we can't get tired of doing good! There are still many, many, many, many self-identified Christians who haven't learned how to LIVE like Christians, yet. Most of the moms in our home church are still sending their kids to public schools.   Many are not even getting married and staying married. Many are still blaming their husbands (who fail to do the dishes) for their unhappiness.  When it comes to theology and growing in their walk with Christ--affirming that creation was accomplished in 24-hour days is not even a blip on the radar.  Contact the Comedian's family at [email protected].   

This episode was recorded over video chat, and that's why it sounds like we're interrupting each other constantly.  (Particularly the audio tracks for Juan and Peaches seem to have gotten smashed together during the recording, rather than a nice, smooth, back-and-forth.) Please forgive the weird delays and places where Juan (and Brian) are not even audible, for some reason. We could hear them just fine in real life!Anyway, we just got back from the FLF Conference, and we want to stress that Ken Ham and the Answers in Genesis people are BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN CHRIST.  (This is not a salvation issue.)  We want to be charitable to the Young Earth Creationists--we just wish they would return the favor. The real battle throughout human history has been:  will we respect God's Word or Man's Word???  We totally agree with Ken Ham about that.  But WHICH of the words in his hour-long talk were God's Words?  Let's discuss: -24-hour days of creation -describing an act of God in human language -taking William Lane Craig out of context -taking the name of Ken Ham in vain Do you want to tell us we're compromising the Scripture?   Email [email protected] to give us a piece of your mind! 

Hey, Neighbor! We have a great idea for a scavenger hunt! For years, we've prided ourselves on being the Most Obscure and Hard-To-Find podcast on the internet. The FLF app is now called "PubTV." Sorry we didn't tell you sooner.  But you can always listen to The Comedian Next Door on a website somewhere.  Go find it! (But don't share the link with your friends. That would spoil the hunt for them.) We know you've been waiting all week for this episode, Pkarlgh.   Today we're talking about the display/campaign that was launched in our Podunk Library.  "EVERY READER DESERVES A CHANCE TO SEE THEMSELVES REPRESENTED IN A BOOK!"  (Oh, and don't forget to "trust teachers and librarians."  They're definitely not using vague, emotionally-charged catch phrases to push a political agenda.)  Follow the Meme Policeman on social media! Also, email the Comedian at [email protected]. We'll see you THIS WEEKEND at The Ark for the FLF CONFERENCE.

This episode of the Comedian Next Door was recorded LIVE with the Starving Comics Quarantine Show audience on October 1st, 2023.  Welcome to the "Afert Party." We opened the line to viewer questions and ended up discussing the impact of artificial intelligence on comedy writing. Listen in, as John Branyan and Brian Apprille share their professional opinions about why robots can't be funny on purpose, but they sometimes do it accidentally!   Email the Comedian Next Door at [email protected].  Join us at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in just over ONE WEEK!

We're ready for our ratings to SOAR now that we're incorporating some FIGHTING. Jump into the boxing ring with us today, Neighbor! Send us an email to let us know if you need some more controversy, or if you want us to drum up some more "Brain Candy" for your listening pleasure.   People don't like to think of themselves as antagonistic...   But, once they decide that someone else "deserves it," for any reason, then all bets are off.  They get to be antagonistic without counting it.  John was accused of "stirring the pot" this week. That's not a Fruit of the Spirit, you know? Let's not talk about controversial stuff, because that's more Christlike. But, what if: Controversy is the rich soil from which relationships grow?  People don't want poop on their relationships...but they need to trust the fertilizing process! Later: John shares a meme involving an octopus--(i.e. the 8-legged mammals of the sea)--which helps prove once again that Neurodiversity is a fancy word for "spends too much time on the internet."  We really need to stop helping people hyperfocus on what they can't do. It's normal to be bad at things.  It's NOT normal to expect the entire school system to cater to you.  We talk a little bit about ADHD meds... And, finally:    5-year-old Silas hops on the mic for just a second.  And this prompts the Peaches to share two stories from Parenting World. Contact the Comedian Next Door at [email protected]/ We hope you've enjoyed this dramatic brawl!

Hey, Neighbor! Give us a second to plug in Luke's mic...  Today we're talking about popular Relationship Gurus on TikTok--specifically "Jimmy on Relationships," who has amassed a huge following from Divorced (or soon-to-be-divorced) women.  What does it take to become a popular content creator "on relationships"? Well, start by having an affair... Then buy yourself a wig... Once again, these videos are being share by PROFESSING CHRISTIANS who lack discernment.  Why are Church People struggling to sort out the difference between worldly advice and good biblical Wisdom? Later: John played a Jimmy Video for his men's group, and nobody thought it was important. They'd rather lament the existence of technology than talk about leading their family members who are watching Jimmy Videos.  Contact the Comedian by emailing [email protected] . We'll see you at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference next month!!!

Welcome to the "Afert Party" on the Starving Comics show.  (No. We didn't spell that wrong.  It's the AFERT Party.) It's usually only available to John Branyan Clique Members, but this is a sneek peek because we didn't record a podcast this week! Comedians John Branyan and Brian Apprille have been in the business a loooooong time.  They discuss the evolution of comedy over the years, as our culture has gone from "sort of Christian-y" to totally Flesh-powered and felings-driven. The Peaches and Tabby are in the studio as well. Also, Brian talks a lot about hitting people with chairs. Watch the Starving Comics show LIVE every Sunday at 7:00pm Eastern on the John Branyan YouTube Channel. Special thanks to the Fight Laugh Feast Network for hosting The Comedian Next Door Podcast! Email us at [email protected]. 

Hey, Neighbor!  Welcome to the kitchen table of the Comedian Next Door, hosted by the Fight Laugh Feast Network.  We need to solve the Cone Palace Problem.  Since this is a community-wide issue with far-reaching consequences, you already know exactly what we're talking about: There's constantly gridlocked traffic at the corner of US31 and Center Road, caused by Kokomo's inexplicable craving for mediocre icecream from 4:00pm to 9:00pm DAILY... It's awful. Let's whine about it. Next, celebrate Luke's special accomplishment with us! Later... People have no idea how to stay married the "lust phase."  Let's dissect a meme that often gets shared by Divorced People to justify their 3rd or 4th or 5th new relationship.  Contact the Comedian Next Door by emailing [email protected]. We'll see you at the Conference in October! (Details at flfnetwork.com)    

Hi, Neighbor! It's The Comedian (John), The Peaches (Amanda), and The Ninja (Luke).  Don't take it personally that Luke would rather be out building a shed than sitting here talking with us... John is a little sour today because he wasn't invited to be the Funny Guy at a certain Christian Convention. (Don't worry. He just needs to be reminded that he wouldn't have enjoyed it anyway.) Speaking of conferences we actually DO want to be part of because we actually DO like the people involved...  join us at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference, October 11-14th, at the Ark Encounter.  Details at flfnetwork.com.  Contact the Comedian's family by emailing [email protected] 

Luke has just finished a Ghost Pepper Chicken Sandwich, and the McBabies are pretty noisy in the kitchen! (It's happy sounds, Neighbor Carl.  Don't worry.)  Some kids need company when they're doing chores, as a reminder to stay focused. But...not Silas. Now, let's talk about Luke's trouble-making ways on social media.  He posted a John MacArthur quote: "I couldn't care less what a nonbeliever wants in a church service."  Cue the offended Church Ladies.  Some of these women aren't busy enough at home, and so they have nothing to "nurse" except a grudge.  "I thought you were supposed to be LOVING...isn't that what CHRiST would do?!"   Wow, that sounds like something a Wolf would say. "Um...Wolves are only religious people. The Bible never refers to unbelievers as wolves."  Yeah, that's ALSO something a Wolf would say. Later: Luke wasn't done offending the Fairer Sex. He said somet things about education to a woman who didn't think he had the right college degree for that sort of truth.  Contact the Comedian (and send your hate mail to Luke) by emailing [email protected].  Thanks for listening to our podcast on the Fight Laugh Feast Network!  

This is an extended episode because we have a lot to say about manipulative non-believers who take advantage of the "nice" Christians... But first, we chat for about Grandma Turbo's upcoming nuptials, yard work, and taking responsibility.  Later: -"Kind" and "intelligent" and "friendly" non-believers are even more dangerous than the militant jerks. This is especially true when this is their brand.  -We often teach Christians that they OWE IT to non-believers to reward their so-called friendliness.  ("You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.")  This makes people more vulnerable to narcissists and other predators who try very hard to be likeable.  -Here's a story about Tabby being manipulated by a royal jerk in college.  ("You're not being very Christlike...") -Moms often feel mean when they take authority in a particular situation--especially when the toddler or child says "I just want a hug!" or "I just want to snuggle."  Finally: -WOULD YOU TURN DOWN A CHANCE TO HAVE PIZZA WITH RICKY GERVAIS??? Contact the Comedian, John Branyan by emailing [email protected]  Join us at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference, October 11th-14th at the Ark. Details at flfnetwork.com.  

The Comedian, John Branyan, sits down with the Casting Crowns Musician, Juan DeVevo, to discuss the culture through the lens of memes.  We apologize for the late release of this episode. Points of interest: -God doesn't need us to defend Him from the Atheist Memes.  -Do Christians make Jesus sad enough to smoke? -Does God pitch fits and get angry like a petulant toddler? -"The Liar from the beginning was God; the Serpent told the truth."  (Yes, someone actually made a meme with these words.) -"God is not limited by the facts...choose faith instead of facts!"  (Yes, another direct quote from a really stupid meme.) AND MORE!   Visit castingcrowns.com to find out when Juan will be playing in a city near you.  Also, contact the Comedian Next Door by emailing: [email protected]

Welcome to the CAMP GROUD of the Comedian Next Door. We're gathered around a table with our Vacay Friends, talking about our weekend retreat. It wasn't all smooth sailing, Neighbor.  We won't give spoilers in this description. But--we've been through some stuff!   Tune in as we share our stories... Contact the Comedian's family by emailing [email protected].  (Note: there was some corrupted audio on the first post. We think it's fixed now.)

The Comedian, John Branyan, and the Musician, Juan DeVevo of Casting Crowns, are taking a look at some popular memes. Christians keep trying to be "neutral" and to find common ground with unbelievers.  But it's not "neutral" to be a Moderate. Trying to stay in the middle is a religious position based on conviction! Come, explore this meme about Deconstruction... this meme beloved by Progressive Christians... and MORE! Contact the Comedian by emailing [email protected]...  Also join us at the FLF Conference October 11th-14th at the Ark Encounter.  Get your tickets at flfnetwork.com! 

There are a LOT of people at the house today. If you've been wanting more insight on the Branyan/McKinney/Farkas family dynamics, here's your chance to listen to us chatter in our natural environment:  a bit of chaos.  On this episode:  John, Andrew, Tabby/Joe and Amanda/Luke are all present to tease each other a bit and try to answer the question: why does Luke feel the need to "save" stories until later?  Is this a normal male thing? Let's discuss Conversation Anxiety and how husbands and wives communicate.  (Also, why won't Andrew stay in our family group text.)  Email the Comedian's family at [email protected].  Join us at the FLF conference at The Ark in Kentucky. October 11th to 14th. Details at flfnetwork.com. 

Welcome to the kitchen table of the Comedian Next Door!  You're here with the Comedian (John Branyan), the Podcast Ninja (Luke McKinney), and the Peaches (Amanda McKinney) to explore the strange place that is Luke's mind...  Here's a soundbite featuring a pigeon who sounds weird. Later: Imagine trying to save the Pagans from their Idolatry and accidentally joining them in their radical skepticism.  Enter, the Flat Earthers.  They truly believe they are putting "faith in God--not faith in man."  But, their arguments sound an awful lot like the Atheist's reasoning...You can contact the Comedian and his family by emailing [email protected]   

I don't have time to do a full summary of this episode if I'm going to publish on time.Happy Independence Weekend, and we hope you enjoy this conversation with The Comedian Next Door. [email protected]

John is desperately injured... Sports, sore hips, and charlie horses.  But it could be worse!  We could be crushed by the ocean while riding in a tin can! There was a time when men were respected for their courage and willingness to take perilous risks for the sake of potentially great reward. But, in our current society, most people try to mitigate and avoid risk as much as possible. Someone who fails spectacularly isn't encouraged for at least TRYING... he's ridiculed for doing something "stupid" which "could have been avoided." You've got Christopher Columbus, the Apollo Missions, and Whats-her-name in that strapless gown. What do all of them have in common??? What would cause a person to attempt to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel? Or tighrope walk between skyscrapers? Later:  If you want a good example of concentrated evil, ask The Internet how it feels about Billionaires who lost their lives in a horrific accident. How can people justify SAYING these ugly, despicable things?  Here's our theory about The Role-Play Game Phenomenon.   People are creating Altar Egos on the internet, and then those Altars are taking over... To contact The Comedian, John Branyan, just email him at [email protected].    

Please hold while we shuffle the headphones...Okay! Now Luke has a story no one has heard before! Something uncomfortable happened in bathroom at the race track.We're sorry to those who think toilet humor is lowbrow. It's not always like this!  But, since we've dragged you down already, go ahead and make suggestions for how Luke can clean up this story enough to tell on stage... Later: How can we prevent all natural disasters in the future? John has a suggestion. We're not really sure why the LGBT community was so offended by Pat Robertson's predictions, when they haven't properly tested his theory. Finally: Most of us know what's WRONG with "cults," like Bill Gothard's Anti-Rock-and-Roll community. But what's the positive side of growing up in a Bible Cult?  We haven't watched Shiny, Happy People. But the interviews with Jinger Duggar have not been the "shocking, secret-revealing" expose that everyone was promised. Reach out to the Comedian's family by emailing [email protected]. 

If you're looking to improve your disc golf game, Neighbor, you are in luck! We have a great strategy--guaranteed to give you that "wet" shot all the athletes are aiming for! Then: we take a break to issue a boundary...    The Peaches sees everything through the lens of Mothers/Fathers raising children.   But maybe we'd all do better to pay attention to what's happening in the Real Life right in front of us... Things like people parking in the fire lane...  (There's nothing we can do except be aware that "They" exist.) Later:  Luke feels bad for breaking unwritten rules.  Meanwhile, the Peaches bonded with Mark, the Bank Guy...   Finally:  If P then Q. They don't teach logic in school anymore, and that's why people often misunderstand what the Bible is saying.  What in the world should we title this hodgepodge conversation?!  Email the Comedian's family using the address [email protected],  Come on vacation with us!  Details about Vacay with Comics on johnbranyan.com . 

There's a Houseguest at the Comedian's table. John's friend and fellow Comedian, Taylor Mason, visits to talk about editing and censoring content, in order to keep the client's happy.   (Taylor's dog also joins us in the background.)  In this episode: -People don't know how to read anymore. -Comedians often get asked to remove "offensive" things from their program. (Is Taylor a HYPOCRITE?!) -When someone hires John or Taylor to do a job--why not let John or Taylor do that job??? -The story of how gospel singer, Ben Speer, once saved Tayor's career... -The story about John's PG-13 show... -and MORE!    You can go to Taylor's website (taylormason.com) and sign up for his newsletter. Also, go to johnbranyan.com to get your tickets for VACAY WITH COMICS. Registration closes July 10th. 

This episode is a little graphic, Neighbor.  Luke has waged war against the moles in the backyard.  (Perhaps you've seen him out there, weilding sharp objects and shrieking, in a primal sort of way.)  If you've got a mole problem, let us tell you how to handle it... Then: Luke storms out of this episode.   Luke has a very soft voice, which makes it difficult for him to be heard in this (loud) family.  We try to teach him to speak from his diaphragm. But we have to hurry, because our guests are coming over to play games! Later: Don't you wish you could make divorce look as fun and cool as those people on social media?!  Rather than No-Fault divorce, maybe we should refer to all parties as "Failed-at-Marriage."  So many people are trying to find a way to "sell" their own life to the world; they want to package their story as a brand that can be consumed on social media.  If having a failed marriage is part of her story, then an Influencer's only option is to find a way to make it seem like a good, relatable, positive thing... They're trying to make yucky things palatable.  Like Matcha.  Hey, Neighbor, will you hurry up and get your tickets to come on VACATION WITH US?! Visit johnbranyan.com for details about Vacay with Comics.  IT WON'T BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU. 

Pull up a seat, Neighbor! We're talking shop with our friend and fellow Podcaster: Hans Fiene, of Lutheran Satire.  Hans has been a pastor and content creator for a long time. But, lately, he has been itching to try his hand at stand-up comedy. So he's asking John for advice. If you want to know how to prepare for an Open Mic and how to find your voice and how to determine when your proctologist lives a double life as an interior designer, then this is the episode for you!   (Bonus: learn why Hans wishes Nancy Kerrigan had taken an iceskate to the knee muuuuuuuuch sooner.) Find Hans at Lutheran Satire on YouTube.  Email the Comedian at [email protected].   

Welcome to the table, Pkarghl!  Tabby is here with John, The Peaches, and the Pod Ninja (Luke).  We share some funny stories before we get down to business.  There are all sorts of Toxic Marriages we need to discuss--especially Jim and Elisabeth Elliot's.  (LOL!) Tabby doesn't know who that is--so we get to tell her one of the most powerful stories of Martyrdom in recent memory, while also breaking the news that her relationship with Joe is built on a foundation of bad things, like open dialog and forgiveness. Why are women so bad at judging the character of men they're dating?  Well...it's because they're getting terrible advice from Feminists who are trying to sell books.    Contact the Comedian's Family by emailing [email protected].   Plus, it's not to late to GO ON VACATION WITH US!  If you'd like more life advice from people who like to laugh at the world's foolishness, come hang out at Vacay with Comics. Details on the website.

Hey, Neighbor!  John Branyan and the Peaches are hanging out with their friend, Bob Smiley.  He just likes to spend time with us, and he's not going to talk about his website or his new book or his tour dates... etc... Bob recently shared a meme on Facebook that was shared more than 700 times, but not everyone liked the message.  (Christians can be so hateful, you know?) John and Amanda know what it's like to upset both the unbelievers AND the "nice" Christians at the same time! Listen in to their conversation here!Contact the Comedian Next Door by emailing [email protected].  You can contact Bob by visiting his website, bobsmiley.com.  But, remember, it's not about Bob.

Hello, Neighbor! This is Part 2 of the Car Conversation, while John Branyan travels with The Peaches down to southern Indiana for a show.Have you read Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis?  That story provides a great analogy for how a High King needs to behave when it's time to take responsibility.   Then--a Feminist author, Sheila Wray Gregoire, shared an old video clip from the original Candid Camera show.  "Who says girls and women aren't visual creatures?!?!"  (Answer: Um, nobody.)  The young ladies are making eyes at their handsome new teacher, and it's all caught on film.  But why do the Feminists think this is helping their case at all?  Those girls are precisely the ones who need to be told not to dress provocatively just to get the teacher's attention. Later: These women clearly need to be disciplined (not whatever they have in mind when claiming "She Deserves Better").  But who's supposed to do the disciplining?  Who has authority over them?  The Peaches make the case that perhaps this is a MOTHERHOOD crisis and not a Fatherhood one.  Perhaps it's the mature WOMEN who are supposed to tell these little girls-in-grown-bodies that they're embarassing us and giving womanhood a bad name.  But...women are being taught to use "Gentle Parenting" techniques with their toddlers. So there's a lack of confidence in authoritative discipleship... Finally:  What's going to happen in the next 20 years, when 5th-Wave Feminism has completely "liberated" women from all morality?   When Modesty is a derogatory term, and it's hate speech to say women are sinners, too...then what will the big crusade be against? They probably will wage war against all references to Jesus Himself.  Contact the Comedian by emailing [email protected].  Also, come on vacation with The Comedian and his funny friends/family. Registrations closes soon! Get the details about Vacay with Comics on johnbranyan.com before it's too late! 

The Comedian and the Peaches are in the car, taking a trip to southern Indiana.  Come along for the ride!  (Our GPS made the recorder glitch between the 13:00 and 14:00 minute mark... But it cleared up after that.) We'll kick it off with a riveting conversation about the benefits of being short--and the disorienting effect of new eye-glasses...  Then, let's talk about the evolving role of a mother as her children grow in maturity. She has to be able to shift from "agreeableness" to a more "disagreeable" framework.  What are the strengths and weaknesses of Agreeable/Disagreeable People?   Typically women are more "agreeable," because they are equipped to deal with infants--who are very needy and dependent and can't be held to a higher standard until they've grown.   It's easier to be the least mature person in a very mature system than to be the most mature person in a very immature system.   Everyone wants to be the Baby of a very stable family--and no one wants to be the Manager of a whole bunch of babies! Later:  We have more to say about Sheila Wray Gregoire, who released a book this week called "She Deserves Better."    Why are so many Evangelical MEN afraid to call out these Feminists?   Well, short version: they are hesitant for the same reason many women/moms don't want to discipline their own kids.  (It feels Too Authoritative.) Books like "She Deserves Better" is creating perpetually immature women...girls who use their tears to get what they want. And, ironically, her whole strategy depends on men playing the role of Mommies who take care of these Baby Girls. Women have a big challenge in raising their children:  constantly growing WITH them.  "How do we know when it's time to comfort them and when it's time to challenge them?!"   That's a very good question.  And, just when we start to get a routine that seems to work for everyone, it's time for a growth spurt.  When you try to sell a cookie-cutter message to EVERY girl/woman in the church, you are trying to sell a silver bullet formula that won't work for most girls/women. Finally:  Being empowered means having responsibility. If you have power, you are capable of abusing it.  But no one is warning these women about how to use their power, once it's given to them...   Which is a recipe for disaster.-PITSTOP-You can reach out to the Comedian, John Branyan, by emailing [email protected] .

Welcome, Neighbor!  John went to see "Nefarious" at the theater, and it was quite the experience... These previews are NOT approved for all audiences.  He shares his favorite quote from the movie, and admits he generally enjoyed watching Satan beat the Atheist.  The following is a much longer-than-intended discussion about the use of language, violence, and gratuitous sex in Rated R movies. (See: "Boobs and Swords") Also, on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, we reminisce about an old made-for-TV special that's near and dear to our hearts...  Later: let's talk about a book that's being promoted to Christian women, but let's pretend to censor the author's name.  "Shasta McGwire" is about to release a book called "She Deserves Better." The premise is the church uses a double standard when teaching boys and girls about sex/modesty.  (We've never heard that before, right?)  It's not faaaaaaaaaair, Neighbor! John doesn't want to call out the author by name, because he doesn't want to deal with their shrieking and finger-wagging.   In other words, he doesn't love them enough to tolerate their tantrums in order to tell them something they need to hear. (That's probably what led to thousands of spoiled, insufferable women in the first place...their parents felt the same way when they were young.)  The obvious question, though, is: "She deserves better THAN WHAT?" The Bible says we discipline children when we LOVE them. Only a fool despises wisdom and learning. So what's with all these "adult" Christian women, complaining that they're getting more discipline than their brothers? Even if it's true (and it's not), why are women demanding to be treated with Kid Gloves?There's nothing BETTER than holding someone to a very, very, very, very high standard. If you don't, they turn into whiney, self-sorrying Feminists.  (Or self-pitying. Whichever you prefer.)Contact The Comedian Next Door by emailing [email protected].  Also, time is running out to join us on vacation! Vacay with Comics is happening July 28th-30th. Details are here: http://johnbranyan.com/vacay-with-comics-2/ 

Hey, Neighbor! We're glad you came for a visit today!  Should we get a new theme song?  Nah... never mind...Nobody is prepared to talk about anything specific--so we punted to The Peaches.   The ability to....articulate....a...uh, problem... is....well, I mean... Words are hard. The Peaches is here to help you express your thoughts better.   But first, we need to talk about shoe shelves and magnets that look like guns and trigger discipline. (Don't even THINK about ALMOST putting your finger NEAR the trigger when you're not ready to shoot, Pkarghl!  That will be the STUPIDEST thing you've ever done in your WHOLE LIFE, and the Internet will not forget.) It doesn't matter how much knowledge you have on subject, it's useless if you can't communicate it in a way others will understand.  People who are grating and annoying aren't making the world a better place. Their Big Important Information will die with them. If you'd like to reach out to the Comedian Next Door, email [email protected] Also, come on vacation with us! We're doing family camp with a bunch of comedians in July. Vacay with Comics!

After fairly heavy conversations the last few weeks, we're just shooting the breeze at The Comedian's House... Did you know the bathrooms are the most dangerous rooms in the house? Comedians often hurt themselves in strange ways...  (And we have several friends with strangely appropriate last names.) Later: Listen to John's Noah Webster joke!  Then:  Weigh in on a family scandal...Luke thinks our comedy work/business is the same as Poker Night! It's a fun hobby--not really work!!!! What's the tangible outpur of a comedian's labor??? Are we just eating junk food and gambling over here??? Maybe comedian isn't a legitimate career choice.  Write to the Comedian Next Door by emailing [email protected].  Watch the Starving Comics Show on the John Branyan YouTube channel. (It's a lot like a poker game.)   Also, come on vacation with us in July! Visit johnbranyan.com for details about Vacay With Comics.   

Welcome to the table, Neighbor Pkarghl!  How do you feel about John twirking as part of his show?  No, don't answer that. What's your earliest childhood memory?  Here's one of Uncle David's!  Please take our poll by emailing [email protected], but address the note TO JOHN, because The Peaches doesn't support this scientific endeavor.    If you want to email the Peaches, let the subject be regarding the weirdest thing you've ever heard of someone recycling.  Next: John shares the lesson he taught the youth group at Lighthouse.   Later: We get down to business explaining why the more you try to take yourself seriously, the more of a punchline you become.  It's Natural Law! There are some folks in the Fight Laugh Feast group going on and on and on and on and on and on about Full Preterism (for weeks!!!).  No matter how many times they are assured everyone agrees about the seriousness of heresy--they have made it their personal mission to be as loud and annoying as possible--all for the glory of Jesus. This isn't a conversation about resurrection or baptism or meat sacrificed to idols.  THIS is a conversation about the fact that prideful, self-important people ARE HILARIOUS, and we literally can't help laughing at their relentless babbling. Also:  if you find yourself being proud of the fact that you have no friends--you might have taken a wrong turn somewhere. Feel free to reach out to us and let us know if you still use the fly part of your undewear OR to warn us we're going to Hell. (Note:  TO JOHN.)  Time is running out to sign up for Vacay With Comics.  Come laugh with us and our friends for a whole weekend in July! Details at johnbranyan.com   

Hello, Neighbor!  The Peaches and the Pod Ninja are having a little marital dispute about smoking cigars in the middle of the kitchen.  Who's being the joy-killer here?Next: If we had any respect for your opinion, we would adopt the opinion for ourselves... But we don't respect opinions we don't share. Boy-oh-boy, Pkarlgh, this statement really gave some people heartburn. What is it about the concept of "respecting opinions" that people are so willing to fight over it?   We think the phrasing is unclear, and we need to stop telling people we respect their opinion when we actual mean: "We respect your humanity no matter what opinions you hold."We respect the individual who is created in God's image, despite the fact that he or she holds an opinion that we DON'T respect.   And what about where Paul tells us (in 1 Corinthians) that some things aren't worth fighting about? Well, we share that opinion--and so we respect it. Finally: This boils down to an authority issue.  Who do we trust, when we don't get the opinion we want from someone else?  Do we keep shopping around for different doctors or different judges or different pastors (or Gospel-writers) who we think will agree with us?    The more immature you are, the more Bosses you need to keep you safe... Just take this example from the McKinney children almost killing themselves.  Write to the Comedian's family: [email protected]   Also, if you like being part of the conversations at the table, you should COME ON VACATION WITH US and a few of our Christian, comedian friends.  Details about Vacay with Comics can be found at johnbranyan.com 

Hello, Neighbor! You're jumping into this conversation that's already underway between the Comedian Next Door (John Branyan) and his good buddy, Juan DeVevo. (It's okay. Just pull up a chair and make yourself comfortable. They'll make room for you.)  If you'd like to hear Part 1, go back to last week's episode! Juan often drops by the Comedian's house to chat about the cultural things on his mind.  What does it mean to be a good person? What does Christian living look like?  (Flip to the book of Philemon for spoilers.)  What's wrong with the so-called "Purity Movement"?  Guys, these questions come up in just the first 10 minutes...  What's Juan thinking today? To contact the Comedian Next Door, email [email protected] . To find out where Juan is touring, visit Castingcrowns.com 

Hi, Neighbor! Welcome to the conversation with a comedian and his friend. Juan DeVevo has some things on his mind.  Let's process some of it with him...   You can contact the Comedian Next Door, John Branyan, by emailing [email protected]