The Comedian Next Door

Juan kicks things off with a wild tale about his dad’s mysterious age and a hilarious take on Tom Brady’s Hertz commercials. Things get deep with a chat about gratitude—like how hard it is to find new stuff to be thankful for without rolling your eyes. Then, they dive into the evolution of pants and why wearing them low is a fashion fail. They also touch on credit scores, organic food, and the odd value of a perfect score. And if you think that's random, wait till they introduce the Humpty Dumpty scale for fall risk and debate World War I interest rates! It’s a whirlwind of laughs and life’s quirks.

Tabby's at the table--with her enormous baby.  He's even bigger than a baby panda! Next, Luke did a show with Chris Farley's brother, and he unintentionally gave us a GREAT new marketing idea!  (How much would YOU pay for a lousy T-shirt???) Later:  John reads a piece of sage wisdom...   Who cares what your parents think? Defer to your children instead! Join the conversation, Neighbor! Contact the Comedian's family by emailing [email protected] . 

The guys discuss the idea of celebrities doing ordinary things and how it becomes news. What about a service where normal people can hire paparazzi to make them feel famous? Luke talks about the joy of gift-giving and the pressure to find the perfect gift. There is some anxiety in gift exchanges. Technology is impacting amusement parks and  algorithms control our lives. At Disney World, anything counts as an 'attraction.'

Welcome to another Sunday evening at the Branyan/McKinney table--after another great Sabbath day of family fellowship and DISC GOLF.  Yes, The Peaches will allow a Disc Golf Recap today, since her husband accomplished something totally world-changing... Then:  John's yardwork adventures aren't getting any less painful.  Hear the latest injury story, especially if it has been awhile since you considered the danger of using a chainsaw near stinging insects.  Later: Some Christians really are shocked--SHOCKED--about how "quickly" the culture is declining. To them it seems it happened over night. But at least they're shockable, right? Their eyes are apparently working, even though they're a little slow on the uptake.    The big kids are making a happy ruckus in the background, and the newborn fusses (just a little) in his daddy's arms. If you want to be part of it all, tune in! Contact the Comedian's family by emailing [email protected]  

Hey, Neighbor!  John has some things he wants to say--while the Peaches and the Pod Ninja ignore him... Did you hear about the man (or is it a woman?) who failed the gender test in women's boxing? Did you know even CONSERVATIVES are struggling to understand what makes someone a woman? Tune in for this biology-heavy lecture on female hormones, fertility cycles, and--oh yeah--all of our headphones are broken, so listen while we complain about that.  Baby Bridger makes himself known a time or two as well.  It's a pretty typical Sunday at the Comedian's house! Email the Comedian's family at [email protected].  

Another riff session with the gang. Among other topics, we discuss the intrigue of candy hearts and how the Handmaid's Tale would be a different story from the male perspective.

John is sweaty. Peaches is sweaty. But the baby doesn't mind... Luke hurt his tongue...twice. And, eventually we get around to talking about being "counter-cultural."  Viva la Revolucion!  You can email the Comedian's family at [email protected].

Join us as we workshop some ideas for comedy. It's possible you'll have a laugh, but we can't promise that.

New Baby Bridger is at the table! He has been a little cranky lately, so we'll see if he makes himself heard... The baby is hearing and smelling new things, while old men are LOSING those senses. John remembers the old man neighbor who used to "putter" around and do Old Man things when John was a kid.  That's the neighbor whose bushes were set on fire by Bob Branyan... Let us tell you the story! Later: John had a brief conversation with a Christian lady about "unity." But did she really mean "just agree with me"? Email the Comedian's family at [email protected] .     

We're riffing on the destructive force of children, pro wrestling, and the back of IKEA stores. Plus some other random thoughts. Join us for another comedy writing session.

 It’s just you and me. No other podcast pals, just us. So, if you’ve been with us before, you know there was a baby on the way. Well, that baby has now made his grand entrance, and as predicted, it’s shaken up the podcast schedule. I feared the podcast might be canceled, but The Peaches assured me, "No worries, Dad, I'll pop out the baby, and we’ll be back on track, no big deal." Fast forward a couple of weeks, and here I am, solo at the mic because my usual crew is at the hospital with the newborn boy. My kids have been griping about our intro music, calling it not just mediocre, but downright bad. So, I decided to skip it this week. Maybe it’s time for a new format: no music, just straight into the chatter. Let me know what you think. Now, about the baby. His name is Bridger Luke Michael McKinney. That’s right, Bridger. Not Alexander, which I was half-expecting because Amanda was adamantly saying it wouldn’t be Alexander. But no, it's Bridger. And like all new names, it feels a bit odd. Babies are weird little strangers when they first arrive, but eventually, they grow into their names. Soon enough, Bridger will be running around, and it’ll be the perfect fit. On a personal note, I got new hearing aids. The old ones conked out, so now I'm trying to get used to the new ones. It's like discovering sound all over again. I can hear leaves rustling and kids playing from a distance. It’s a game-changer, though my comedy shows have taken a hit since I struggle to hear the audience. Speaking of senses, my taste and smell aren't what they used to be. I can barely smell coffee brewing unless I stick my nose right over the pot. Same goes for food. Everything tastes kind of the same unless it’s something drastic like a pepper versus a banana. So, if I ever compliment your cooking, take it with a grain of salt because I probably can’t taste how terrible it might be.

Join us for another comedy riff session. We'll talk about slow motion, Paul Bunyan's actual size, antiquated messaging systems and some other stuff. We had fun. Maybe you will too!

This is an absolute carnival of Branyan Family Improv.   That is to say, we're just shooting the breeze and telling stories... Hear us talk about: -Squeaky birthing balls and Lactation Chairs -Why milk is bad in New Mexico -What squirrels have in common with Jared Leto (spoilers: it's the way they talk) -Tech issues and new equipment -Fortunately/Unfortunately -And finally: Our new family project idea!   Plus...  There's a succulent in the middle of the table. We probably better stop to talk about it. Email the Comedian's family at [email protected]

We're launching a new show that will hopefully ease a bit of the pain caused by the end of SCQS. This is our first episode and we're pretty sure the format and production is going to change. But we gotta start somewhere.The Riff sessions are comedy writing workshops. We're taking a premise and 'riffing' ideas with fellow comedians. Enjoy!

HOW MANY BABIES ARE YOU PLANNING TO HAVE?!  Turns out, we've been fielding that question for over a decade... Next: did you know the very first automobile was tested in our town of Kokomo, Indiana?  Well... that's because it's not actually true.  But Kokomo still loves to call itself the City of Firsts.  (And we really are responsible for that loveable Big, Red Dog!) Still no McBaby... The Big Kids are drinking "coffee."  And John wants to talk about the Presidential Debate that he didn't watch. Later: a shocking number of people can't figure out when they're talking to a robot...or when they're sharing photos of a "missing person" who is actually a plastic doll.  How does THAT affect the voting situation?  Join us at the table, Neighbor! 

Hi, Neigbor! We're going to have another baby in a matter of moments! Though...it could be many, many moments before the event actually happens... It's HOT and some of us are very puffy while others are very burnt.  John is worried that the Peaches can't record a podcast after the baby is born.  But there are ways to make it happen! It's all about priorities! Then: The whole extended family was out in the woods this week... Apparently, the First Graders have been internalizing that Post-Mil Theology!  (Kids who are surrounded by aunts and uncles and babies look forward to building their own families someday.) Later: Why are we so excited about posting the Ten Commandments in school?    Is this a small baby-step toward cultural victory?    Or are the majority of Christians completely confused about how the Word of God actually works itself into the human mind and heart? We're out here trying to build shrines and cast Bible Spells!  Jesus-cadabra! Email the Comedian's family at [email protected]

Tabby brought her new baby, and Andrew is home on military leave!  So--join us for a noisy chat, Branyan Sibling Style.  What does an unmarried 25-year-old male think is an average size for a newborn?  And whose fault is it, really, that Andrew is always the last to hear family news? You be the judge, Neighbor. And, Later:  Does God care about tattoos and cigarettes?   (Just ask your favorite 90's pop star!) Email the Comedian's family at [email protected]

Hey, Neighbor!  Luke's microphone isn't switched on, and it distracts us from sharing all the intricate Baby Details.  But--rest assured--Tabby had her baby.   While the Peaches was supporting the birthing mother, Juan and John and Luke were attending the Christian Comedy Association Conference.  There were some very encouraging testimonies shared during that time.  Luke wonders if churches should make space for MORE testimonies to be shared on Sunday mornings... Later: Why does the word "psychology" keep getting used as a synonym for "spirituality?"  Are they one in the same concept? Contact the Comedian's family by emailing [email protected] 

We have a special Someone at the table today--though we can't decide whether he's a "guest" or a "friend."  One thing we DO know for sure is, we are pretty slap-happy to have a few days with Juan DeVevo...Did you know disc golf brands like to NAME the various discs? Usually they come with names like "Punisher" or "Intimidater."  But Juan wants to market a line of more peaceful-sounding discs. Next: Tabby is in labor! Thus sayeth The Doula (though she really isn't qualified to say much else)... Then: What happens when an Atheist rejects religion and insists there's no such thing as evil, but then she experiences tremendous evil perpetuated against HERSELF?  (Spoiler: they do NOT suffer well.) Email the Comedian's family at [email protected]

Hey, Neighbor! The Comedian's family lives within 75 miles of the Indy 500 race track, so we settle a very important question:  does racing count as a "sport?"  And can we call the competitors "athletes" when they sit in a car all afternoon? Then:  Just a little more Labor/Birth talk... (Spoilers: Tabby is still pregnant!) (Also, apparently nobody knew what the date was when we recorded.)  Later:  A former contestant on the Bachelor is struggling with "fertility issues." Just wait until you hear what kind! And: have you heard what's happening in El Salvador?  Finally:  John ignores a call from his wife. And The McKinneys conducted their annual Book Burning. Here are the details.   You can contact the Comedian's Family by emailing [email protected] 

Last week, we were jolly and funny.  This week: some of us are a little grouchier...and sunburnt...  The Peaches' water bottle went missing at the soccer game.  And, what's with the lack of "booing" from the Branyan, McKinney, and Farkas section?!?! Where's the loyalty?!    Not to mention: John's 4-year-old grandson was being veeeeeery virtuous today. He couldn't help noticing himself. Playing organized sports can help develop a person's character!... but it's not automatic. Then: Luke was surprised to hear there's (yet another) couple divorcing in our local church body.  It's hard coming to terms with the fact that many families (even professing Christians) don't hold each other accountable.   How should we counsel those who are persuing a divorce?  What sort of "baggage" should a married couple expect, and how can they manage it?  Later: Why don't people like to communicate?  Well, the Ninja and the Peaches had a small falling out this week, and they share a few details.  It ended up being a fairly short (and relatively painless) process back to fellowship--thanks to practice.   But a few years ago, it would not have gone so smoothly... Email the Comedian's family at [email protected] .

Our family spent several hours sharing Big Thoughts after church (before we started recording), so now we're ready to just shoot the breeze... Join us for this lighthearted chat.   Why does Luke like spaghetti--but not lasagna? How many clothes can be squeezed into a standard washing machine?  John gives an update on his landscaping projects. (Spoiler: John is turning into an old man before our very eyes.) And--hey look--a rabbit in the yard!  Should we talk about Richard Dawkins being a "cultural Christian?"   Meh.  Too serious.  Let's not. See, Neighbor, not EVERY conversation deep and convicting.  (Oh, now Luke's parents are dropping off some patio furniture!)  There's some real life happening over at the Comedian's House, and you're invited to take a listen. Email the comedian's family at [email protected]. 

Hey, Neighbor!  There are babies due to be born in our family over the next few weeks, so we're talking about the birth process!  What do "real" contractions feel like? How can we distinguish between "early" labor and "active" labor?  Maybe you weren't expecting this conversation, Neighbor, but it sure beats talking about disc golf!   Riiiiiiiight? Next:  Communication with medical professionals can be challenging... (Here's an example.)  Then: Communication as a pastor/speaker can ALSO be callenging--especially if you're trying too hard to be profound or memorable.  (Here's an example.) (Also, here's our favorite riddle ever invented by a 3-year-old.)  Somewhere in the midst of all these topics, we have an excellent book idea for the Podcast Ninja! Don't forget to laugh, Carl.  Email the Comedian's Family at [email protected].  If nobody is in labor, we'll do our best to respond!

It's the season for MOLE HUNTING.  If you don't remember The Podcast Ninja's technique, he shares all the gory details again in this episode.  Next, John talks about his big plans to avoid yard work...   (Psssst, he's going to be sorely disappointed, Neighbor!)  Then, Luke tells us the thing that John shared at Church today that felt noteworthy and then he forgot and then remembered again.   People's actions will tell you what they really think.  It's easy to say, "I am a Christian who believes the Gospel."  But, the choices made in daily life will reveal much! Finally,  both "Christians" and "Atheists" in America are struggling with an Authority Problem.  We'll unpack that the best we can--but if you know, you know! Email the Comedian's Family at [email protected] . 

First, let's talk about making cake for no reason... And,we need a short word-study, because the word "bi-weekly" has too many definitions. Next:  John has been watching lots of videos of sermons from Charismatic preachers.  This false doctrine happens to be the very first theological question that Luke and the Peaches tackled before they got married! Later:  A friend of John's almost made him choke on his chicken caesar salad.  What sort of "authority" are Christians "supposed" to have when it comes to raising the dead? Finally: Luke wants to know, "Is believing a false Gospel the same as not being a Christian at all?"  How much truth about Jesus do you need in order to be saved? Email the Comedian's family at [email protected]    

Well, Neighbor, it has been TOO LONG since we talked about disc golf!  Go get yourself some discs, so you don't have to be left out of the recurring conversation.  Next:  We're going to answer all your questions about how to schedule your time...  No, wait, we're going to tell you whether or not to quit your job.   No, actually we're going to talk about productivity.  Luke feels guilty because he doesn't think he's bringing enough focus to his day job.  How should bosses and employees measure "productivity?"  (And what kind of "productivity" really brings the most value to the people you love?) There are so many different directions we could take this conversation! But, of course, it always comes back to home-education and family life.   Contact the Comedian's family by emailing [email protected] .

Hey, Neighbor!  Papa John's is selling a pizza featuring crispy "cuppy-roni."  This is worth mentioning at LEAST a few times this episode... Next: there has been a little bit on controversy in the Fight Laugh Feast network. (But, really, what else is new?) Sometimes listeners feel like their favorite hosts aren't practicing what they preach...  The Peaches thinks this speaks to the natural limitations of the podcast platform. It's impossible to get a complete picture of a person's beliefs, even if you consume several hours worth of their content every week! (There's sooooooo much that is still happening behind the scenes.)  It's possible to hear a message about "Rowdy Christians" multiple times and STILL not understand how to apply it, until you've spent more in-person time with the messenger. Later:   Some concepts and analogies we share on the podcast are not going to translate if listeners are not part of a real-life community.   Podcasts have their place! Sermons are valuable! But there is no substitute for committed, imtimate relationships, where true disciples are made.  Contact the Comedian's family by emailing [email protected]

Hey, neighbor! The Peaches and The Ninja have been together longer than they were "single."  They've gone by many names over the years...   But why does Uncle David call John "Scooter?" (Settle in, while Scooter unloads his coffee-related trauma.)  Then: HAPPY TRANS VISIBILITY DAY!  We actually know people--in real life--who have swallowed that Kool-Aid.  AND:  Our Comedy Clique has been talking about Foot-Washing Ceremonies.  Some good questions have been raised in the last few days!  What message is the Pope sending when he washes the feet of 12 female prisoners?  Is there a better way to demonstrate "servanthood' to a modern culture? Finally:  Jesus taught that being a servant makes you the GREATER in the Kingdom of Heaven. Many Christians are uncomfortable with the way they are elevated to places of Authority, while they keep trying to be perpetual doormats. How do we deal with the reality that our acts of service give us more responsibility and "power?"   Contact the Comedian's family, [email protected]    

It's basketball season, Neighbor, and our NCAA bracket is looking sad!  But legend has it, the Branyan kids once predicted all four of the Final Four teams and won enough money for John to retire for about two hours.  Also, there is DRAMA among the McKinney/West/Farkas cousins.  (No, nothing scandalous.) A group of actors, aged 13 and under, are producing their own musical theater show. It's the most adorable thing we've seen in a while. Next: If a person can't explain WHY the believe something, do they really even believe it? Use your words, Pkarlgh!   Pictures aren't really worth 1000 words, and you CAN'T preach the Gospel silently... Contact the Comedian's family by emailing [email protected] 

If you're tuning in for this episode, you will be among the first to sample The Podcast Ninja's new Outgoing Personality! (Tell us if you think he's not being "serious" enough.) We tackle other questions like: should men wear a suit and tie to church?  And should adults watch cartoons?... Later: If you want to add rocks to your health and wellness journey, we have a great opportunity for you!  (It's basically witchcraft--but it's all the rage.)   Email the Comedian's family: [email protected]  Tell us what kind of "crystal" John should take to the Quack Doctor's virtual event.  

Welcome to the table, Pkarlgh.  Our family participated in a huge fundraiser for our local Christian school--and we were very encouraged! Many hands make for light work... It's great to be part of a functioning community! Then:  If you're hearing us talk about this well-oiled machine and wishing your community was as Perfect as ours, let us remind you that we are very critical of parachurch organizations!  We really need to make some clarifications about WHY we focus on the Bad Stuff in the culture...  (Someone wrote to us and said, "I'm struggling to find a church that I can trust. I don't understand the different denominations, but I know you guys disagree with most of them...")  Keep this in mind at all times: God will not hold you accountable for things you DON'T understand; he holds you accountable for obeying what you DO understand. Later: Let's talk about the problem with popular Christian worship leaders. (But don't let fear of heretical music keep you from going to church!)  Email the Comedian's family at [email protected]. (But don't ask us questions that should be directed at your elders.  :) )

Hi, Neighbor!  John and Luke called an "audible" at church last week and switched up the communion prep system.  Who's going to be mad about that?  (Well, some people might.)  If you start taking responsibility and making decisions then you will deal with some pushback. But, overall, you will be a HUGE ASSET to a healthy church (or soccer program).  Leaders take initiative! Later:  Luke shares his fail-proof system for aspiring conversationalists. If you're wondering, "How does Luke always have something interesting to say???" be prepared to take notes! Email the Comedian's family at [email protected] 

Hey, Neighbor! We thought we uploaded this episode ON TIME, but technical difficulties occurred...Better late than never!  

It's snowy in Indiana--but the Peaches broke a power pole back when the roads were basically clear.  Luke did a show with Dave Dugan, and John did a show in Wisconsin (Wa-Keh-Shaw). Were these "good" events or "bad" ones? It totally depends on your perspective!  Any single event could be both good and bad, or both challenging and successful at the same time. John still gets rushes of adrenaline when he's going on stage. Luke and his brother-in-law struggle to sleep immediately after a performance.  But is that the same thing as stage fright or "nervousness?"  The difference between "Excitement" and "anxiety" is simply whether you're looking forward to it or not.  Later: Most people in the audience do not want the speaker to fail. They're on your side!  But even the pros get sweaty while managing their adrenaline.  It's normal!  Can we learn to thank God regardless of whether we are feeling wide awake or ready to curl up and rest? Finally:  Let's beat a dead horse...that is still trotting around... We know a pastor whose daughter found a questionable book in her school library.  What should he do now? Contact the Comedian's family by emailing [email protected]  

Hey, Neighbor, we're recording on Superbowl Sunday...  not to be confused with Tuesdays with Taylor... (By the way, are you the Master of your own Sea?) Then: Not only do Christians like to identify as "Sinners," but we like to sanitize the behavior of the Unbelievers. We want to give them the benefit of the doubt--even though they are Lost. Later: We tried to raise Luke's bloodpressure with the story of a grumpy patient complaining about her stay at the hospital.  But he is pretty unflappable.    Do you know what the medical community does with particularly uncooperative patients? Finally: Let's talk about the idol of People Pleasing.  What IS the difference between having a "servant's heart" and being a people-pleaser? Contact the comedian's family: [email protected]

We have an extra guest at the table today, Neighbor!  Also, John's sons-in-law created a video game character who is almost indescribably ugly.  But we try anyway. Either way--let's get down to business...  Transformers and electronic tablets are for Christians/Saints--not for Sinners. Boy, this is a controversial topic in our community right now.  Is it wise to refer to Christians as "Sinners saved by grace?"   The Peaches really feels encouraged, because she was called a "she-devil" several times.  What inspired that kind of vitriol? It was the suggestion (no--insistence) that being a Saint who struggles with sin is very different from continuing to identify with your sin by calling yourself a "sinner."   Saying "I am a sinner" is an identity statement.  One person told us, "I was a sinner, I am a sinner, and it's what I ALWAYS WILL BE."   Yuck.  That comes from unthoughtful church culture--not from God's Word.  The power of the Gospel is completely removed when Christians still cling to their sinful identity. God calls us Children (He calls us Saints). But Americans still call themselves "Sinners."Later: Listen to some truly unhinged accusations from really, really angry people. Email the Comedian's Family at [email protected]. 

Hey, Neighbor.  Our beloved YouTube show, Starving Comics, is coming to an end.  (Or, it has already come to an end--since you're listening after the end.)  We hope you're thoroughly confused. Or at least angry. If you're sad, we can definitely give you a different emotion to experience...   By the way, make note of the fact that Kevin James has a new comedy special, but John doesn't want to say anything else about it.  Then: Lots of comedians struggle with needing validation from strangers. But that's not really John's temptation.  For the Peaches, taking a picture with Elijah Wood is actually VOMITOUS. Later: What does any of this have to do with a hoarder who keeps bottles of human waste near her fridge? People need to have their conscience trained...but nobody is willing to tell them when they're GROSS. Email the Comedian's family at [email protected]. 

We are pretty cold over here, Neighbor! Wrap up in your fleece blanket, and you'll fit right in...Luke wants to talk about CHURCH DISCIPLINE today. Let's see if this topic is as controversial as the last one he picked... Plus, the Peaches went to an MLK service at an urban church. (What a trip!)  Can we weave these two things together? Later:  Luke shares a post from a woman who is outraged that she was excommunicated.  Everybody likes the idea of church discipline, as long as it goes one way... The same way everyone loves to talk about "conquering" and fighting for political power--as long as it's in the context of an MLK service and not being applied by a white "Christian Nationalist." Finally:  John talked with a guy this week who wants to help thousands of people "make decisions for Christ." But--he doesn't want to have an awkward conversation with his own kids.  Contact the Comedian's family by emailing [email protected] 

Welcome to the table, Neighbor! The kids are playing in the background, and the PodNinja is feeling more talkative than usual... To kick things off, John shares why he hopes he gets invited to host the Golden Globes.  Next:   he Church love to retreat.  Most Christians think they are leaving a "neutral ground" in the middle of the battle field, but that's not how it works!  When we step back, it leaves a vacuum that "sucks" the anti-religious Nut Jobs into our old spot that we were too cowardly to stand in.  Later:  There's a campground near our home that is "rebranding."  (Their words.) They are moving away from a family-style nature...and now, they will be "catering to the LGBT, Adults-Only crowd." (Their words again.)  Yes, really!  You must be 18 just to walk out on the disc golf course. Finally, the Pod Ninja (known for his powerful silence) actually brought a topic of discussion!  There are some theologically-questionable things on Reddit.  Did Jesus hang out with Sinners? Should we take stuff personally?   Should we abandon our kids when we don't feel affection, like the animals do? Don't have fellowship with Sinners, neighbor!  You can email the Comedian's family at [email protected].    

Hey, Neighbor! The Podcast Ninja had a run-in with a power tool that might leave you feeling a bit light headed.  Then, John shares his New Year's Message for young people... don't promise stuff if you don't really mean it. Words matter, and "semantics" matter. Which brings us to another point:  AMERICANS ARE SHOCKINGLY ILLITERATE.  (We bring statistics!)  Why does John hate audiobooks so much? Also: The Podcast Ninja reads an amazing book review from Amazon that will make you laugh if you understand the words. Thanks for listening! Email the Comedian's family at [email protected]

Hey, Neighbor! This episode was supposed to air on Christmas Day...   but OOPS! Enjoy this late gift, from us. --The Comedian's Family

Hey, Neighbor. This is PART TWO of the conversation with Juan DeVevo regarding the parable of the sower.  (You know, some people are going to reject the Gospel no matter how we present it. So what do we make of that reality?!) We humans love to take credit for our own goodness.  But--taking God's glory for ourselves is literally the worst sin we can commit.  Meanwhile, we like to give our neighbors the benefit of the doubt. But when we assume they are a pretty good, charitable person, that is still judging their heart! (Plus: why did a U.S. President snub Juan?) Later: -Celebrities are still strangers, even when they profess to be Christians.  -"What's up with Jesus having to DIE on the CROSS?!"  -Most church people will let absolutely anyone teach the kids' Sunday School class -AND, more complaints about Ken Ham...  (lol)   Follow Juan on tour at castingcrowns.com.  Email the Comedian at [email protected]

We're puzzling at the table today!  John hurt himself AGAIN. (No surprise.) And we have some news we have been (unintentionally) keeping from you, Neighbor, but the Peaches is too sick to share... Later: John was un-invited from a show for a charity organization, because his blog doesn't support gay people.  But do we really want to work for non-profit Do-Gooders who deny the importance of Christ?  It's time to cancel the people who think they're HELPING the poor, without Jesus.  Those self-righteous God-deniers are doing far more damage than John's (truthful) blog post. Contact the Comedian's Family... Email [email protected]

The Comedian (John Branyan) and the Musician (Juan DeVevo) are at it again.  Do you ever hurt yourself while doing manly things?... The two swap stories about injuries, going all the way back to elementary school! Then, MEMES! Let's recap the happenings on social media this month, including the stupidest hot takes about religion.   Why would a PASTOR share a picture of Kat Von D in lingerie?  Answer: people post very stupid hot takes on social media...   Later:  John and Juan unpack the parable of the Sower.  It's actually kind of depressing when you think about it: there's an awful lot of opportunity for seeds to be lost.  Who's in and who's out? Does God love everybody equally? Email the comedian at [email protected] . Catch up with Juan's little band by looking at his tour schedule: castingcrowns.com. 

Welcome to the kitchen table, Neighbor! First:  We discuss what has come to be labeled "Spanking Gate." The Peaches was encouraged to hear the Wilson's response to all the controversy.  Their Family Interventions sound very similar in seriousness to the Branyan Family Meetings! Then:  There's nothing like being accused of child abuse from people whose parenting solutions are found in prescription bottles. "Please don't help your child learn to control her own emotions...just control her emotions for her, using drugs!" Later: Luke found a question from a single mom on the internet: should she marry the kind man who provides for her and her son?  Or should she wait for someone who cuts his hair more often? Finally: The Peaches shares a juicy parenting anecdote, for the Internet mobs to find in another 10-15 years. The 10-year-old was made to participate in a group hug, and he was disciplined when he refused.  Please send your comments to [email protected] 

Hello, Neighbor.   We apologize for any unseriousness you've gotten from our podcast in the past.  We do our best to be VERY serious in this episode...  Recently there have been several emails (and a text message!) asking for more in-depth advice about Real Life Stuff--especially parenting. We do our best to expand on the principles that guide our parenting decisions, while also reminding everyone that each kid/family is different. Have you ever been so angry that you would have hurled yourself into traffic, just to (somehow) spite the other person?  The Peaches has! And so has her young child.  As God reveals more to us about our own sin natures, we're better able to share those truths with our kids... Email the Comedian at [email protected].  Stay serious, everyone!

Here we are again, Neighbor... We're still causing a bit of a stir with our belief that it's difficult to talk about timelines when dealing with the creative behavior of a Timeless God. Is it unChristian to study theoretical physics and explore the impact of Einstein's Theory of Relativity on the biblical narrative?  Should we have the exact same understanding of Scripture the Ancient's had--as if we don't own telescopes now? If so--we are guilty as charged.But if you like to image what mass and gravity and velocity could have been doing at the moment God said "let there be light," you might actually LIKE this conversation...Ignore the part at the end where The Peaches says cooky things about Jesus reversing the curse and conquering death. Obviously, that has nothing to do with the Bible's teaching about death/sin, and women shouldn't be trying to understand this stuff.  Email us if you'd like to set the whole family straight:  [email protected] Disclaimer:  we believe the Bible is completely inerrant, and we affirm a literal, biblical interpretation of the Genesis story.  :)   Also--this is not a salvation issue. 

Hi, Neighbor! We want to apologize for the quality of our last episode.  It was actually a GREAT conversation, if you were able to decipher it. Today, let's talk a little more about creation!   In essentials, unity. In opinions, liberty. And in everything, love. That's all well and good, isn't it?  But WHAT ARE THE ESSENTIALS? Most Christians don't care (on the surface) how old the earth is... but we DO care about making sure our kids understand "the essentials."  So, if we're being told we MUST read Genesis a particular way in order to raise Christian kids, that will pique our interest.   Most mothers are willing to write "24-hours" into their Bibles, if that's what it takes.  People are concerned with what affects their DAILY LIFE.  In general, they're not impacted by whether God used millions of years to prepare the earth for humans, except that they're being told their kids will leave the faith if they DON'T teach Young Earth Creationism. Later:  A Good Man Will Do the Dishes!!!  (Listen as we explain why Michael Foster is way more interesting than Ken Ham.)  There may be some Christians in reformed circles who are tired of talking about marriage, parenting, and other "basics." But we can't get tired of doing good! There are still many, many, many, many self-identified Christians who haven't learned how to LIVE like Christians, yet. Most of the moms in our home church are still sending their kids to public schools.   Many are not even getting married and staying married. Many are still blaming their husbands (who fail to do the dishes) for their unhappiness.  When it comes to theology and growing in their walk with Christ--affirming that creation was accomplished in 24-hour days is not even a blip on the radar.  Contact the Comedian's family at [email protected].   

This episode was recorded over video chat, and that's why it sounds like we're interrupting each other constantly.  (Particularly the audio tracks for Juan and Peaches seem to have gotten smashed together during the recording, rather than a nice, smooth, back-and-forth.) Please forgive the weird delays and places where Juan (and Brian) are not even audible, for some reason. We could hear them just fine in real life!Anyway, we just got back from the FLF Conference, and we want to stress that Ken Ham and the Answers in Genesis people are BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN CHRIST.  (This is not a salvation issue.)  We want to be charitable to the Young Earth Creationists--we just wish they would return the favor. The real battle throughout human history has been:  will we respect God's Word or Man's Word???  We totally agree with Ken Ham about that.  But WHICH of the words in his hour-long talk were God's Words?  Let's discuss: -24-hour days of creation -describing an act of God in human language -taking William Lane Craig out of context -taking the name of Ken Ham in vain Do you want to tell us we're compromising the Scripture?   Email [email protected] to give us a piece of your mind! 

Hey, Neighbor! We have a great idea for a scavenger hunt! For years, we've prided ourselves on being the Most Obscure and Hard-To-Find podcast on the internet. The FLF app is now called "PubTV." Sorry we didn't tell you sooner.  But you can always listen to The Comedian Next Door on a website somewhere.  Go find it! (But don't share the link with your friends. That would spoil the hunt for them.) We know you've been waiting all week for this episode, Pkarlgh.   Today we're talking about the display/campaign that was launched in our Podunk Library.  "EVERY READER DESERVES A CHANCE TO SEE THEMSELVES REPRESENTED IN A BOOK!"  (Oh, and don't forget to "trust teachers and librarians."  They're definitely not using vague, emotionally-charged catch phrases to push a political agenda.)  Follow the Meme Policeman on social media! Also, email the Comedian at [email protected]. We'll see you THIS WEEKEND at The Ark for the FLF CONFERENCE.