The Balanced Athlete Car Convos; About Purpose, Balance and Play!

Find Your Sweet Spot (Series) Over the next four weeks, we’re breaking down how athletes can find their sweet spot-where performance, purpose and actually enjoying the process all come together. Week 1 You Don’t Need to Have it All Figured Out What if the pressure to figure it all out is actually what’s holding you back? Focus: Awareness Core Idea: Purpose isn’t one thing-it’s something you build. The Japanese ikigai scholar is Mieko Kamiya. The author of Ikigai ni Tsuite Commonly translated in English as On the Meaning of Life published in 1966. She is widely regarded as the founder of ikigai psychology, and her work is very different from the popular Western “ikigai Venn diagram.” The core insight Mieko Kamiya would give a teen athlete “Your worth is not tied to winning, titles, or future success.” Kamiya studied ikigai through people living with extreme limitations and suffering (including patients with chronic illness), and her central finding was this: Ikigai is the feeling that life is worth living—right now—not a goal you earn later. For a teen athlete, this completely reframes pressure, performance, and identity. Ikigai is found in daily life, not a single “big purpose” Kamiya emphasized that ikigai is not about finding one grand calling or mapping out your entire future. Instead, it comes from small, meaningful moments that make life feel alive. [ikigaitribe.com] What she might say to a teen athlete: “Your ikigai might be the feeling after practice when you’re tired but proud.” “It could be laughing with teammates, learning a new skill, or helping someone else improve.” “You don’t need to know what you’ll become—you need to notice what gives today meaning.” 👉 This directly counters the pressure teens feel to figure it all out early. Suffering and setbacks do NOT mean you’ve lost your ikigai A huge part of Kamiya’s work showed that meaning can exist even during pain, injury, or failure. Ikigai doesn’t disappear when circumstances change—it often deepens. [jstage.jst.go.jp] For an injured, benched, or burned-out athlete, she’d say: “Your life still has value, even when sport is hard.” “Ikigai isn’t proof that life is easy—it’s proof that life is still worth engaging with.” This is powerful for athletes navigating: Injuries Being cut from a team Loss of confidence Identity crisis when sport doesn’t go as planned Ikigai is NOT about money, scholarships, or productivity Kamiya explicitly did not define ikigai through career success or income. She warned against tying meaning to external rewards, something the Westernized ikigai diagram often gets wrong. [finde-zukunft.de] For teen athletes, that means: A scholarship is not your ikigai. Playing at the next level is not your ikigai. Your value doesn’t increase as competition increases. 👉 Sport can support ikigai—but it should never be the only source of it. Talking Points: Purpose isn’t something you find once and you’re done… it’s something you build over time. Why teens feel pressure to pick their path- you’re not supposed to have this all figured out as a teen athlete. Exploring different things isn’t falling behind-it’s actually how you move forward. Research is showing that the athletes who last the longest and perform the best aren’t the ones who rushed to specialize… they’re the ones who stayed curious. The western form of Ikigai was turned into the Venn Diagram which actually contradict the Ikigai that Mieko Kamiya researched and wrote about. We have been breaking down ikigai into relatable pieces to help give a starting point and direction What you love What you’re good at – or getting better at What feels meaningful to you? What energizes you? But focusing on monetization and career doesn’t reflect the Mieko’s ikigai. The myth of early specialization: Growth matters more than outcomes Kamiya identified change and growth as a core human need connected to ikigai. Feeling alive comes from learning, developing, and moving forward—not from perfection. [saltnpepper.sg] What she’d emphasize in sports: Progress > trophies Curiosity > specialization Effort > comparison This aligns beautifully with: Multi-sport participation Play Long-term athlete development Connection is essential to ikigai Another key insight from Kamiya’s research is that resonance with others—feeling connected and seen—deeply supports meaning in life. [saltnpepper.sg] For teen athletes: Ikigai grows in healthy relationships with teammates, coaches, parents, and friends. When sport becomes isolating or transactional, ikigai fades. Belonging matters as much as performance. This is a powerful lens for parents listening to your podcast. If you summed up Kamiya’s message to a teen athlete in one sentence: “You don’t need to earn your right to feel fulfilled—your ikigai is already present in how you live, grow, connect, and engage with life today.” How this fits beautifully into The Balanced Athlete message Mieko Kamiya’s philosophy naturally supports: ✅ Purpose without pressure

Daily Oklahoman KFOR 2Wra024 Survivor.net Cancer Survivor with 1 Lung Runs His 5th Marathon 7 on 7 in 7 The Great World Race Unbreakable Hope 1 Unbreakable Hope 2 Unbreakable Hope 3 The Great World Race Facebook Instagram Chan Hellman Hope Centered Today’s guest is someone who embodies grit, resilience, and the absolute refusal to accept limitations. Greg Gerardy is a cancer survivor, a father, and an endurance athlete who has accomplished what most people with two lungs will never attempt. After losing the function of his right lung to a rare, aggressive tumor that wrapped around his spine and shoulder, doctors told Greg he only had a few years to live and would lose the use of his limbs. But he proved them wrong—again and again. Greg has climbed Mnt. Kilimanjaro, completed multiple marathons, including the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon, and even became one of only two people ever to finish an Ironman Triathlon with one functional lung. He has literally died on the table and was brought back to life. His story has been featured across Oklahoma media as he continues to push boundaries, most recently finishing the Great World Race with his friend Sean another 1 lunger – this race is a challenge: seven marathons, in seven days, on seven continents. Beyond the races, Greg shares his journey to inspire others who feel stuck, discouraged, or written off. His message is simple but powerful: you don’t have to give up hope, and you don’t have to stop chasing what lights you up. I’m thrilled to have him here today to talk about resilience, mindset, and what it really means to redefine what’s possible and to spread hope!

This is part one of two! Today’s guest is someone who embodies grit, resilience, and the absolute refusal to accept limitations. Greg Gerardy is a cancer survivor, a father, and an endurance athlete who has accomplished what most people with two lungs will never attempt. After losing the function of his right lung to a rare, aggressive tumor that wrapped around his spine and shoulder, doctors told Greg he only had a few years to live and would eventually lose the use of his limbs becoming a paraplegic resulting in death after his body finally shuts down. But he proved them wrong—again and again. Greg has climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, completed multiple marathons, including the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon, and even became one of only two people ever to finish an Ironman Triathlon with one functional lung. He has literally died on the table and was brought back to life. Greg's story has been featured across Oklahoma media as he continues to push boundaries, most recently being among the first two people with one lung-alongside his friend Sean to not only try but to successfully complete and cross the finish line together-The Great World Race: seven marathons, in seven days, on seven continents. Beyond the races, Greg shares his journey to inspire others who feel stuck, discouraged, or written off. His message is simple but powerful: you don’t have to give up hope, and you don’t have to stop chasing what lights you up. I’m thrilled to have him here today to talk about resilience, mindset, and what it really means to redefine what’s possible. Daily Oklahoman KFOR 2Wra024 Survivor.net Cancer Survivor with 1 Lung Runs His 5th Marathon 7 on 7 in 7 Facebook Instagram One Breath Why Not a Lung Transplant?

Episode on Accomplishment A — Accomplishment “Accomplishment is about becoming someone you’re proud of, not just someone who wins.” Teach athletes to set layered goals: daily, weekly, seasonal. Go back to Kaizen moments. Celebrate progress, not just outcomes. Track personal bests to build internal motivation. Reinforce that accomplishment includes character growth, not just stats. A — Accomplishment Check List/Journal Prompts For Teen Athletes Did I set and complete a small goal today? Did I track progress toward a larger goal? Did I recognize improvement, even if it was small? Did I celebrate a character win (patience, grit, leadership)? For Parents Did I celebrate progress, not perfection? Did I help my teen set realistic, layered goals? Did I acknowledge their growth outside of stats or scores? Did I reinforce that accomplishment includes who they are becoming? Car Convo Talking Points: What did you achieve today, both big and small? How does this accomplishment bring you closer to fulfilling your Ikigai? What’s one accomplishment you’re proud of? How Coaches and Parents Can Use PERMA Together Create shared language: “What was your engagement moment today?” Encourage parents to praise effort and attitude, not just performance. Use PERMA check-ins during car rides, team meetings, or recovery days. What Teen Athletes Say When PERMA Is Working “I feel more confident.” “I’m not as stressed.” “I actually enjoy practice again.” “I feel like I belong.” These are the outcomes that keep kids in sports longer — and healthier. Wrap-Up Message for the Episode “PERMA isn’t another thing to add to training — it’s the foundation that makes training meaningful. When teen athletes feel positive, engaged, connected, purposeful, and accomplished, they don’t just perform better. They become better humans.” Linktree

Episode on Meaning M — Meaning “Meaning is the anchor that keeps teens steady when performance gets shaky.” Connect training to something bigger than the scoreboard. Ask: “Who do you want to become through this sport?” Tie team goals to values like resilience, service, leadership. Use community service or mentoring younger athletes to deepen purpose. M — Meaning Check List/Journal Prompts For Teen Athletes Did I connect today’s training to who I want to become? Did I remember why I love this sport? Did I act in alignment with my values (effort, leadership, resilience)? Did I do something that made me feel part of something bigger? For Parents Did I help my teen connect their sport to their personal growth? Did I reinforce values over outcomes? Did I support their long‑term development, not just short‑term wins? Did I help them see the bigger purpose behind the hard days? Car Convo Talking Points: How did today’s events contribute to something larger than yourself? Did you take any actions that aligned with your life purpose or helped others? When did you feel most engaged? What felt meaningful about your effort? Linktree

Episode on Relationships R — Relationships “Teen athletes don’t just need teammates — they need a tribe.” Team culture is everything for teens — belonging drives effort. Build rituals: partner warm-ups, shout-outs, buddy accountability. Teach communication skills: how to give feedback, how to ask for help. Model coach-athlete trust through consistency and transparency. R — Relationships Check List/Journal Prompts For Teen Athletes Did I support a teammate today? Did I communicate clearly and respectfully? Did I ask for help when I needed it? Did I contribute to a positive team environment? For Parents Did I strengthen my connection with my teen today? Did I model healthy communication and emotional regulation? Did I support their relationships with coaches and teammates? Did I avoid adding pressure that could strain our relationship? Relationship Car Convo Talking Points: Who did you connect with today, and how did those interactions support your growth or your contributions to others? Episode on Relationships R — Relationships “Teen athletes don’t just need teammates — they need a tribe.” Team culture is everything for teens — belonging drives effort. Build rituals: partner warm-ups, shout-outs, buddy accountability. Teach communication skills: how to give feedback, how to ask for help. Model coach-athlete trust through consistency and transparency. R — Relationships Check List/Journal Prompts For Teen Athletes Did I support a teammate today? Did I communicate clearly and respectfully? Did I ask for help when I needed it? Did I contribute to a positive team environment? For Parents Did I strengthen my connection with my teen today? Did I model healthy communication and emotional regulation? Did I support their relationships with coaches and teammates? Did I avoid adding pressure that could strain our relationship? Relationship Car Convo Talking Points: Who did you connect with today, and how did those interactions support your growth or your contributions to others? Linktree

Episode on Engagement E — Engagement “When teens feel engaged, they stop performing for approval and start performing from purpose.” Help athletes find their “flow moments” — drills or roles where they feel fully absorbed. Rotate responsibilities so each athlete experiences challenge and mastery. Use short, focused training blocks to keep attention high. Encourage athletes to set micro-goals for each practice. E — Engagement Check List/Journal Prompts For Teen Athletes Did I find a moment of “flow” in practice or competition? Did I stay focused on the drill or task in front of me? Did I challenge myself in a way that felt meaningful? Did I set a small goal for today’s practice? For Parents Did I ask my teen what part of practice felt most engaging? Did I encourage them to explore roles or skills they enjoy? Did I help reduce distractions that pull them out of focus? Did I praise their curiosity and effort to improve? Engagement Car Convo Talking Points: When did you feel fully absorbed in an activity? What were you doing, and how did it connect to your sense of purpose? Linktree

PERMA EPISODEs Positive Psychology in Sports PERMA is gold for teen athletes, and weaving it into a training conversation on your podcast will feel both practical and inspiring. You can frame it as a way to build not just better athletes, but healthier, more resilient humans. Here’s a set of strong, clear talking points you can drop straight into an episode. Incorporating PERMA Into Teen Athlete Training Why PERMA Matters for Teen Athletes Teen athletes are developing identity, confidence, and emotional regulation — PERMA gives them a framework to thrive on and off the field. It shifts training from performance-only to whole-person development, which parents love and coaches need. Helps prevent burnout, comparison culture, and the “win-at-all-costs” mindset. Helps celebrate small wins: effort, attitude, leadership moments. Uses gratitude practices at the start or end of practice. Reframes mistakes as data, not failure. Teach athletes to recognize what went right before what went wrong. P — Positive Emotion - “Positive emotion isn’t about fake hype — it’s about helping teens build emotional momentum.” P- Positive emotions – the foundation of well-being, this includes joy, gratitude, serenity, excitement, pride, hope and inspiration. This element focuses on increasing the frequency of positive emotions in daily life which leads to greater overall happiness. Positive Emotions – from Pat Ivey Performance How NFL Stars Stay Motivated & Resilient: The PERMA Model in Action - My Doctoral Dissertation Part 5 - Pat Ivey Positive Emotions: Controlling Your Mindset The best athletes understand one simple truth: your thoughts control your performance. NFL players deal with extreme pressure. Every snap is scrutinized, every mistake is amplified, and every decision is made under intense conditions. If they allow negativity to take over—self-doubt, frustration, fear—they won’t last long. That’s why elite players train themselves to focus on positive emotions that fuel their performance. They use tools like: Pre-game routines that put them in a confident, focused state. Visualization to see themselves executing at a high level. (Many of the same areas of the brain light up in a FMRI when experiencing a vivid visualization and the actual event. I did find it fascinating that there is new research from the University College London that a region in the brains temporal lobe called the Fusiform Gyrus does play a crucial role in this process. It might help them to understand more about mental health conditions such as schizophrenia} Self-talk to control their internal dialogue and block out doubt. For athletes looking to build this skill, the key is to be intentional about how you think. Your brain will naturally focus on stress if you don’t train it otherwise. How to apply this: Before practice or games, take time to focus on what excites you about competing. Use short, powerful self-talk phrases to keep your mindset locked in. Shift your focus from what could go wrong to what you’re capable of doing right now. The mind is a powerful tool. Control it, and you control your performance. Visualization techniques significantly enhance athletic performance by improving focus, building confidence, and refining skills through mental rehearsal. Benefits of Visualization for Athletes Mental Rehearsal: Visualization allows athletes to mentally practice their movements and strategies before actual performance. By vividly imagining themselves executing specific actions with precision, athletes reinforce neural connections and enhance muscle memory, which can lead to improved physical performance. Improved Focus: Engaging in visualization helps athletes develop a heightened sense of concentration. By picturing themselves successfully performing complex movements or strategies, they train their minds to stay present and block out distractions, which can enhance decision-making and reaction times during competitions. Building Confidence: Visualization plays a crucial role in boosting athletes' confidence. By repeatedly visualizing successful outcomes, such as overcoming challenges or achieving personal bests, athletes cultivate a positive mindset and belief in their abilities. This mental confidence can reduce anxiety and increase resilience in high-pressure situations. Enhanced Performance: Research indicates that visualization activates the same neural pathways in the brain as actual physical execution. This means that when athletes visualize their performance, they are effectively training their brains and bodies to work in sync, leading to improved coordination and execution during real events. Stress Management: Visualization techniques can also help athletes manage stress and anxiety. By imagining themselves in calm and successful scenarios, they can create a mental buffer against the pressures of competition, allowing them to perform at their best. PERMA Checklist/Journaling for Parents & Teen Athletes a PERMA checklist is suc

In this episode I speak about the positive phycology practice called PERMA and how you can use this to craft a life of happiness ad meaning in sports, careers and every aspect of living. Parent and Teen Athlete PERMA PERMA is a positive psychology practice developed by Martin Seligman. It provides a structured approach to well-being through five distinct elements: Positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishments. When combined with Ikigai, it helps offer a powerful methodology to find alignment between internal passions and external contributions, promoting a balanced, powerful a fulfilling life. PERMA helps bridge the gap between goal setting and action plans and deeper emotional psychological and existential questions that some face. It can help: Discover your passions and align with societal needs. Cultivate meaningful relationships Achieve balance between ambition and satisfaction Enhance emotional resilience- handle life’s challenges Foster continuous improvement P- Positive emotions – the foundation of well-being, this includes joy, gratitude, serenity, hope and inspiration. This element focuses on increasing the frequency of positive emotions in daily life which leads to greater overall happiness. E- Engagement – This refers to being fully absorbed in activities where experiences flow. Remember, flow is the state where time seems to stand still, one is completely immersed in what one is doing. This aspect of PERMA emphasizes that being engaged in meaningful activities leads to fulfillment. R- Relationships – Positive relationships are essential to well-being, and meaningful, supportive relationships provide the love, care and sense of belonging that are integrated to a happy life. M – Meaning – This is about feeling connected to something larger than oneself. Whether it’s contributing to the community, connecting with spiritual or religious beliefs or perusing work that impacts society positively, meaning provides a sense of purpose and fulfillment. A -Accomplishment – The desire to achieve, accomplishment is a natural human drive. Setting goals, experiencing success, and getting recognition all contribute to one’s sense of competence and self-worth. Linktree Journey of a Volleyball Mom Book