The Art of Manliness

Note: For fall break, the McKays are attempting their first familial backpacking trip. Kate and I have been before, but we've never brought the kids, so this will be fun. While we're out of touch, please enjoy this rebroadcast with Gary Collins about going off the grid for a much longer period of time. Gary unfortunately passed away this fall, but he left a lot of great tips on simplifying your life in this episode. Many dream of leaving the city and all its tethers and obligations and creating a simpler, more independent life farther from the mainstream population and entirely off the grid. But how do you go from that daydream to making such a move a reality?My guest walks us through the process today. His name is Gary Collins, he made the leap himself and now lives off the grid in Northeast Washington, and he's the author of several books on off grid living as well as simplifying your life. We begin our conversation today with why Gary decided to leave his conventional, urban, 9-5 existence to find a freer lifestyle, and how he defines being off the grid. We then get into why Gary thinks you should make the move to living off the grid in a series of steps, the first of which is to simplify your existing life in three main ways. Gary then makes the case for why living in a RV should be the next step in your journey, before discussing the process of finding land for your off grid home, and the factors to consider in picking a locale. From there we get into how those who live off the grid take care of water, sewage, power, and internet, how they construct the house itself, and what to know about the start-up costs involved. We end our conversation with a discussion of getting off the grid in a more metaphorical way by quitting social media, and why Gary thinks you should pull the plug on those platforms, even if you're an entrepreneur.If reading this in an email, click the title of the post to listen to the show.Resources/People/Articles Mentioned in Podcast Gary's books How to Survive a Grid-Down Disaster How to Bug-In A Survival Expert's Guide to Bugging-In 5 Books to Get the Personal Finance Education You Never Had A Place for Everything and Everything In Its Place How to Get Started Composting Zillow.com 4 Lessons From a 4-Week Social Media Fast Becoming a Digital Minimalist Utopia is Creepy TheSimpleLifeNow.com Listen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)Listen to the episode on a separate page.Download this episode.Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice.Listen ad-free on Stitcher Premium; get a free month when you use code "manliness" at checkout.Podcast SponsorsClick here to see a full list of our podcast sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

As long as humans have existed, we’ve had to choose between our lower and higher desires — between what we want in the moment, and what we want in the long-term. As long as humans have existed, we’ve had to exercise self-control.While exercising self-control has always been part of the human condition, our ideas about it have changed through the ages, as have the number of obstacles to doing so.My guest charted the course of these changes in his book Temptation: Finding Self-Control in an Age of Excess, and he takes us on a tour of them today. His name is Daniel Akst, and we begin our conversation with a definition of what self-control is. We then discuss how Freudian psychology and the scientific study of self-control took it from being something the ancient Greeks and Romans considered an essential virtue of character, to something you shouldn’t or even couldn’t exercise. We also talk about what it is about the modern age that makes self-control uniquely difficult to put into practice. We end our conversation with how, despite the addition of complexities and hindrances, self-control remains a fundamental resource in a flourishing life, and Daniel shares practical tips for preserving yours by changing your environment, so you actually don’t have to exercise self-control as much.Resources Related to the Episode The Power and Pleasure of Delayed Gratification The Kingship of Self-Control Sunday Fireside: Lash Yourself to the Mast Connect With Daniel AkstDaniel’s Website See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The two years, two months, and two days Henry David Thoreau spent at Walden Pond represent one of the most well-known experiences in American literary and philosophical history. Thoreau's time at Walden has become something of a legend, one that is alternately lionized and criticized.Yet though many people know of Thoreau's experience at Walden, and the book he wrote about it, far fewer really understand its whys, whats, and hows.My guest, who's dedicated his career to studying Thoreau, will unpack the oft-missed nuances and common misconceptions about Walden. His name is Jeffrey S. Cramer, and he's the Curator of Collections at The Walden Woods Project, as well as the author and editor of numerous books about Thoreau, including Walden: A Fully Annotated Edition. Today on the show, Jeffrey explains the reason Thoreau went to Walden, which wasn't originally to write about that experience, and which ended up evolving over time. We discuss what Walden Pond was like, the dimensions and furnishings of the house Thoreau built on its shores, and how he spent his days there. Jeffrey explains why Thoreau left Walden, how he was less attached to the experience than we commonly assume, and how the significance of the experience came less from living it and more from writing about it. We then discuss how Walden the book became a classic despite an initially slow start, before turning to what Jeffrey thinks of the common criticisms of it, and the popular impulse to tear Thoreau down. We end our conversation with what we moderns can learn from Thoreau's experiment with living deliberately.Resources Related to the Episode AoM Article: How to REALLY Avoid Living a Life of Quiet Desperation AoM Article: The Libraries of Famous Men — Henry David Thoreau AoM Podcast #417: Expect Great Things — The Mystical Life of Henry David Thoreau AoM Podcast #779: The World of the Transcendentalists and the Rise of Modern Individualism Sunday Firesides: Every Man Needs His Own Walden(s) Thoreau's works mentioned in the show: Walden A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers The Maine Woods Civil Disobedience Jeffrey's Solid Seasons: The Friendship of Henry David Thoreau and Ralph Waldo Emerson Kathryn Schulz's critical article on Thoreau and Jeffrey's response to it Connect With Jeffrey S. Cramer Jeffrey's Website The Walden Woods Project See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

“Don’t be a quitter!” “Quitters never win, and winners never quit!”These maxims encapsulate our usual attitude towards quitting, which is to see it as a bad thing, a weakness, a character defect. We celebrate those who stick with things, who have grit.But my guest would say that quit and grit are just two sides of the same coin, and that quitting is a valuable skill to learn and get good at. Her name is Annie Duke, and she’s a former professional poker player, a speaker, a consultant, and an author. In her latest book, Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away, she seeks to rehabilitate quitting by showing how — whether it’s in the context of ending a relationship, leaving a job, or climbing a mountain — it has essential benefits. We discuss those benefits in today’s show, as well as how to know when to quit. We unpack how whether you should stick with something comes down to an equation of its positive “expected value,” how setting goals too rigidly can get in the way of our being able to assess that value, and the cognitive biases that keep you from quitting when you should. We end our conversation with two strategies for overcoming these biases, including establishing “kill criteria” to give yourself a timetable for how long to go after an aim.Resources Related to the Episode Annie’s previous appearances on the show: #685: How to Decide #387: Think Like a Poker Player to Make Better Decisions Podcast #210: Got Grit? (With Angela Duckworth) Connect With Annie DukeAnnie’s WebsiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Travel can often be approached as just another consumer good; travelers quickly dive in and out of a place, check off the things they want to see, harvest the requisite pictures to prove they were there, and wear their trip as a status symbol.My guest, Rolf Potts, thinks there's a better way to approach travel. After exploring the world for years, he wrote a book called Vagabonding, which laid out the practicalities of how to execute long-term travel.Twenty years later, he's back with a new book — The Vagabond's Way — with reflections on the more philosophical side of that kind of travel which you can take on any type of trip. Today on the show, Rolf explains the vagabonding ethos, which involves slowing down, being open to surprises, and really paying attention to your experiences. He first discusses how taking an overly romantic view of travel can actually diminish your enjoyment of traveling. We then turn to the idea that seeking to take a more authentic approach to travel shouldn't mean trying too hard to differentiate yourself from "typical" tourists, and how to approach stereotypical tourist stuff with a nuanced view. We discuss how to use the idea of pilgrimage beyond its religious connotations as a pretext for choosing which places to visit. We also delve into how to deal with the culture shock that can come both from visiting a new place, and returning home from a long trip. We end our conversation with how the attentive, adventurous attitude which underlies the vagabond's way can also be applied to exploring your own backyard.Resources Related to the Episode Rolf's previous book: Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term World Travel AoM Podcast #653: The Dirtbag’s Guide to Life Sunday Firesides: This One's for Me AoM podcast and article on microadventures Connect With Rolf PottsRolf's WebsiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The ancient Greeks and Romans thought a lot about what it means to live a virtuous life. They believed that good character was essential for achieving both individual excellence and a healthy, well-functioning society. For this reason, they also thought a lot about whether virtue could be taught to citizens, and philosophers put this thinking into practice by attempting to educate the moral ideals of leaders.My guest, professor of philosophy Massimo Pigliucci, explores what the Greco-Romans discovered about the nature and teachability of virtue in his new book: The Quest for Character. Today on the show, Massimo and I discuss how the ancient Greeks and Romans defined virtue, and what it meant to them to live with arete, or excellence. We then look at case studies of philosophers who tried to shape men into being better leaders, including Socrates teaching Alcibiades, Aristotle tutoring Alexander the Great, and Seneca mentoring Nero. Massimo explains how these field experiments turned out, and the takeaways they offer on the question of whether virtue can be taught. We end our conversation with the ancient insights that have been confirmed by modern research that can help us become better people.Resources Related to the Episode AoM article and podcast on practical wisdom AoM articles on temperance, justice, and courage AoM Article: What Is Character? AoM Podcast #771 on Alcibiades and the rise and fall of Athens AoM Podcast #746: The Confucian Gentleman Plato's Meno and Protagoras AoM Podcast #445: How to Close the Character Gap (With Christian Miller) Marcus Aurelius' Meditations Sunday Firesides: Relationships Over Willpower Connect With Massimo PigliucciMassimo's WebsiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Charisma can make everything smoother, easier, and more exciting in life. It's a quality that makes people want to listen to you, to adopt your ideas, to be with you.While what creates charisma can seem like a mystery, my guest today, communications expert Vanessa Van Edwards, says it comes down to possessing an optimal balance of two qualities: warmth and competence.The problem is, even if you have warmth and competence, you may not be good at signaling these qualities to others. In Vanessa's work, she's created a research-backed encyclopedia of these influential signals, and she shares how to offer them in her bookCues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication. Today on the show, Vanessa and I discuss some of the verbal and nonverbal social cues that make you attractive to others, and keep you out of what she calls the "danger zone." She explains what the distance between your earlobes and shoulders has to do with looking competent, how using uptalk and vocal fry sabotages your ability to convey power, how to put more warmth in your voice, how to trigger the right response with a dating profile picture, and more.Resources Related to the Episode AoM series on the elements of charisma AoM Article: Gut Check — Are You a Contemptible Person? AoM Podcast #72: The Charisma Myth AoM Article: How to Use Body Language to Create a Dynamite First Impression AoM Podcast #694: The Fascinating Secrets of Your Voice JFK vs. Nixon presidential debate AoM article on the generational cycle Connect With Vanessa Van Edwards The Science of People Website Vanessa on Twitter Vanessa on IG See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Note: My guest in this episode, Dr. Earle Labor, died on September 15 at the age of 94. Earle was the world's foremost authority on one of the Art of Manliness' guiding inspirations and lights: Jack London. Earle dedicated his career to London scholarship and his work was pivotal in turning London's literature into a subject of serious study. Earle taught the very first undergraduate and graduate courses devoted to London and penned a hundred articles and ten books about him.Earle not only admired London's devotion to what the author called "the true spirit of romance and adventure," he sought that spirit in his own life. As an undergraduate, Earle started the first weightlifting course at Southern Methodist University and he coached and lifted the SMU team to victory in the 1948 Dallas Open Championships. After college, he and a buddy took an epic road trip, where they did farm work and entered boxing matches to work their way from Texas to Canada. And he served in the U.S. Navy and spent time on a destroyer.I had the privilege of interviewing Earle three times for the AoM podcast. The last time in January 2020, my son and I drove to Earle's home in Shreveport, LA to speak with him in person. To mark Earle's passing, please enjoy this rebroadcast of that conversation. The literature of Jack London has long been given the short shrift by scholars. They say he wrote some good dog stories for boys, but beyond that didn't showcase any literary genius or high-level craftsmanship. Well, my guest today begs to differ with this assessment. His name is Earle Labor. He's the preeminent Jack London scholar and 91 years young. I've had Earle on the podcast two previous times: the first to discuss his landmark Jack London biography, and the second to discuss his own memoir, The Far Music. For this episode, I drove down to Earle's home in Shreveport, Louisiana to talk to Earle about the overlooked literary genius of Jack London and the big themes that London wrote about in his novels and short stories. We begin our discussion with Earle's story of how he became a Jack London scholar and why London's work was historically neglected by academics. We then dig into London's literary themes by first discussing how he used the Klondike as a symbolic proving ground for men and how success in this wilderness depended on one's ability to mold oneself to Jack's "Northland Code." Earle uses excerpts from my favorite London story, "In A Far Country," as well as "To Build a Fire" and The Call of the Wild, to showcase the tenets of this code, and well as London's literary artistry. Earle then explains how London shifted his themes later in his career with his agrarian writing, how his wife Charmian changed his perception of real women and his female characters, and the influence that psychiatrist Carl Jung had on London's last works.Consider this episode a masterclass on the literature of Jack London.Resources Related to the Episode Earl's biography of Jack London My first interview with Earle about Jack's epic life My second interview with Earle about "The Era of Bright Expectations" Martin Eden The Libraries of Famous Men: Jack London Jack London's Wisdom on Living a Life of Thumos "The Symbolic Wilderness" by Gordon Mills "To Build a Fire" "In a Far Country" Descriptions of Manliness: Jack London AoM series on Jack London's life "The Sentinel" by Arthur C. Clarke See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dip your toes into the world of personal finance and you can find plenty of questions which are the subject of endless debate. How much of your income should you save? Is it okay to take on debt? Which is better — renting a home or owning one? When it comes to the stock market, should you buy the dip?On his blog, Of Dollars and Data, my guest cuts through the personal finance noise by finding answers based on numbers rather than conjecture, and then converting this research into advice the average person can understand. His name is Nick Maggiulli, and he's the Chief Operating Officer and Data Scientist at Ritholtz Wealth Management, as well as the author of Just Keep Buying: Proven Ways to Save Money and Build Your Wealth. Today on the show, Nick explains what the data says about how you should approach the questions I've already mentioned. He also shares how to spend your money without feeling guilty by using the "2X Rule," the three criteria you should meet before you consider buying a home, the best way to approach the idea of "dollar cost averaging," and more. We end our conversation with the right mindset to adopt in our volatile economy.Resources Related to the Podcast Your Money or Your Life The Value of Debt in Building Wealth AoM Article: Index Funds For Beginners AoM Podcast #536: How to Achieve a “Rich Life” With Your Finances Connect With Nick Maggiulli Nick's blog: Of Dollars and Data Nick on Twitter Nick on IG See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Our lives are populated by rituals. Baptisms. Funerals. Graduations. Singing happy birthday, chanting cheers at a sports event, saying grace before dinner. When we perform rituals, there's no causal link between the behavior and the hoped for effect; for example, there's no causal connection between exchanging rings at an altar and becoming wedded to another human being.But my guest would say that doesn't mean that rituals are useless and irrational; in fact, doing two decades of research on rituals caused him to do a one-eighty on his perception of their value. His name is Dimitris Xygalatas and he's an anthropologist and the author of Ritual: How Seemingly Senseless Acts Make Life Worth Living. Today on the show, Dimitris explains what defines a ritual and how a ritual is different from a mere habit. He shares how a greater understanding of ritual is upending our theories of human civilization, and the idea that "first came the temple, and then the city." Dimitris describes how rituals can be seen to have their own kind of logic and purpose, as they build trust and togetherness, serve as an effective way to deal with stress, signal someone's commitment to a group, and ultimately contribute to people's overall well-being.Resources Related to the Podcast AoM series on the power of ritual AoM Article: How to Turn an Ordinary Routine Into a Spirit-Renewing Ritual AoM Article: Male Rites of Passage From Around the World AoM Podcast #505: A Man’s Need for Ritual Gobekli Tepe: The World’s First Temple? The Toraja people, who live with their dead Connect With Dimitris XygalatasDimitris' WebsiteListen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!) See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're working under a boss who really rubs you the wrong way. So you quit your job and take another. But in your new office, you find yourself stuck with a co-worker who bugs the tar out of you.The presence of annoying, incompetent, and underhanded people isn't a particular workplace problem, but a universal human problem. In any and every group of people, there are going to be bothersome and troublesome personalities.So if you can't entirely escape them, how do you get along with your fellow humans at work? My guest today has some research-backed advice. Her name is Tessa West, and she's a professor of psychology and the author of Jerks at Work: Toxic Coworkers and What to Do About Them. Today on the show, Tessa describes the seven types of jerks you run into at work — the kiss-up/kick-downer, credit stealer, bulldozer, free rider, micromanager, neglectful boss, and gaslighter — and shares what drives their respective behaviors and how to deal with them.Resources Related to the Podcast AoM Article: How to Deal With Bad Coworkers Let Me Google That For You AoM Podcast #627: How to Deal With Jerks, Bullies, Tyrants, and Trolls AoM Podcast #799: Getting Along Is Overrated AoM Podcast #559: How to Handle Difficult Conversations Connect With Tessa WestTessa's WebsiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Amidst the epic clashes of armies and navies that make war such a fascinating subject, lie the smaller human interest stories that prove just as compelling. One such story is that of World War II soldier Joe Johnson Jr., which is told by Marcus Brotherton in a newly published book called A Bright and Blinding Sun: A World War II Story of Survival, Love, and Redemption. Today on the show, Marcus shares how Joe sought to escape the pressures of a broken family and the Great Depression by joining the US Army at age fourteen. We discuss how Joe ended up in the Philippines, fell in love with a teenage prostitute named Perpetua there, and helped smuggle her out of her brothel. We then get into how Joe was captured by the Japanese, and the harrowing experience he had to endure as a prisoner of war, including being locked in a box smaller than a coffin. We end our conversation with a discussion of Joe’s life after the war, and Marcus shares what happened to Perpetua, how Joe dealt with all the trauma he had experienced when he was really still just a kid, and what lessons Marcus has taken away from Joe’s life.Resources Related to the Podcast Marcus‘ previous appearances on the podcast: Episode #1: We Who Are Alive and Remain Episode #44: Voices of the Pacific Articles Marcus has written for AoM Book Marcus wrote with Buck Compton — Call of Duty: My Life Before, During and After the Band of Brothers Connect With Marcus BrothertonMarcus‘ WebsiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When you were a kid, teachers and parents probably told you to concentrate. And as an adult, you likely often think about how much more productive, present, and happy you'd be if only you had better focus. But despite how much we think about our desire to improve our focus, no one ever gets any training in how to do it and even explains what focus is, exactly.My guest today is an exception to that rule. He was taught the secrets to concentration when he spent ten years as a Hindu monk, and today he's on a mission to share them with others. His name is Dandapani, and he continues to live as a Hindu priest, though he's now also an entrepreneur and author, with a book just published called The Power of Unwavering Focus. Today on the show, Dandapani defines focus and shares the existential reasons why developing yours is so vital. He explains how that development begins with understanding how the mind is different from awareness, that where awareness goes, energy flows, and the need to bring awareness to attention. We walk through how to stop practicing distraction and start practicing concentration by making each of your daily activities a focused practice, and ultimately, making your whole day a practice. We also discuss how daily sessions of meditation are inadequate for developing focus, how mindfulness is different than concentration, and how the ability to control and direct your awareness is one of the greatest powers you can possess.Resources Related to the Podcast AoM Podcast #168: The Value of Deep Work in the Age of Distraction AoM Article: What Every Man Ought to Know About Focus AoM Article: How to Effectively Manage Your Attention AoM Article: 11 Exercises That Will Strengthen Your Attention AoM Article: 12 Concentration Exercises from 1918 AoM Podcast #768: Become a Focused Monotasker Connect With DandapaniDandapani's WebsiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why do some people who look can’t-miss high-achievers on paper end up floundering in life, while those who can seem like underdogs end up flourishing?When my guest noticed this phenomenon while being involved in the selection process of veteran SEALs for a specialized command, it led him to the discovery that beneath more obvious skills are hidden drivers of performance, which he calls attributes. His name is Rich Diviney, and he’s a retired Navy SEAL commander and the author of The Attributes: 25 Hidden Drivers of Optimal Performance. Today on the show, Rich discusses the difference between skills and attributes and how the latter can’t be taught, but can be developed. We then talk about the difference between peak and optimal performance, before turning to the attributes which drive the latter. We get into a discussion of the components of grit, the difference between discipline and self-discipline, why you should become something of a humble narcissist, and much more. We end our conversation with how to figure out the attributes you are and aren’t strong in, and which you need for getting where you want to go.Resources Related to the Podcast AoM Article: The 6 Types of Grit (And How to Develop Them) AoM Podcast: The Hell-Raising Leader of WWII’s Filthy Thirteen AoM Podcast #675: The Humble, Narcissistic Leader AoM Article: How to Develop Situational Awareness AoM Article: Being Decisive Sunday Firesides: Self-Discipline for What? Connect With Rich DivineyThe Attributes WebsiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

As an economist, Russ Roberts has been taught to approach decision-making by conducting an analysis, weighing tradeoffs, and then rationally budgeting resources to get the most bang for his buck. But as he explains in his new book, Wild Problems: A Guide to the Decisions That Define Us, he found this approach woefully inadequate for grappling with life's biggest decisions — things like figuring out whether to get married or how to live a meaningful life.Today on the show, Russ and I delve into why the pros and cons approach to decision-making is inadequate when facing what he calls "wild problems." Russ explains that what makes life's big decisions so difficult to deal with is the fact that we don't know what they'll be like before we make them, the decisions themselves will transform us into different people, and their effects can be permanent, making such decisions akin to choosing to become a vampire. From there we turn to strategies for dealing with the inherent uncertainty around wild problems, including looking beyond basic happiness, considering tradition, and trying things out by experience.Resources Related to the Podcast Russ' previous appearance on the show: Episode #91 — How Adam Smith Can Change Your Life Transformative Experience by L.A. Hall Nicomachean Ethics by Aristotle Chesterton’s Fence AoM Podcast #774: How to Make Life’s Big Decisions AoM Podcast #486: How to Get Better at Making Life-Changing Decisions Connect With Russ Roberts Russ' Website Russ on Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Being adept at discerning people’s true thoughts and intentions is a valuable skill to have. Knowing when someone is deceiving you can protect your finances, your professional interests, and your loved ones.Here to teach us some of the elements of this skill is Dr. David Lieberman, who’s a psychotherapist, a consultant to the military and other intelligence and defense agencies, and the author of Mindreader: The New Science of Deciphering What People Really Think, What They Really Want, and Who They Really Are. Today on the show, David explains why verbal cues offer a better window into people’s minds than body language, and the clues to look for in both spoken and written speech that can indicate whether someone is honest or deceptive. We also get into how to detect whether someone is mentally healthy or not, including the signs that you’re dealing with a psychopath.Resources Related to the Podcast David’s last appearance on the show: Episode #489 — How to Get a Handle on Your Anger The Secret Life of Pronouns by James Pennebaker AoM Podcast #364: How to Know When Someone Is Lying (From a Former CIA Officer) Ego syntonic and dystonic AoM Podcast #769: The New Science of Narcissism Connect With David Lieberman David on LinkedIn David on Instagram See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

No kid forgets getting his first bike, nor the surge of independence he felt the first time he pedaled away from his parents. And even as adults, the bike seems to give off a feeling of romance, of freedom, and, when you get going fast enough, even of flying.The special allure of the bicycle can really be traced back to its simple yet elegant design, and my guest today will unpack the intriguing history of its creation. His name is Jody Rosen, and he’s the author of Two Wheels Good: The History and Mystery of the Bicycle. Today on the show, Jody explains the origins of the bicycle’s design, including how it was an anachronism at its birth, may have been inspired by a volcanic eruption, and helped liberate mankind from dependence on draft animals for transportation and exploration. We also get into how the bicycle was associated with flight right from the start. Along the way, we discuss how cycling represents an uncanny fusion of man and machine and produces a set of one-of-a-kind pleasures.This episode will make you want to mount your trusty bicycle steed and take a ride.Resources Related to the Podcast Karl Freiherr von Drais and his Laufmaschine, aka the velocipede, aka the dandy horse The penny-farthing or high wheel AoM Article: How to “Teach” a Kid to Ride a Bike (Without Having to Teach Them at All) Connect With Jody RosenJody’s WebsiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Do you feel stuck in life? Inwardly you keep repeating the same thoughts, outwardly you keep repeating the same routine, and on and on a cycle of unhappy disappointment goes.To break the cycle, maybe what you need to do is watch a film that has become synonymous with this kind of stuck-ness — Groundhog Day — which my guest says contains the roadmap to escaping a life lived on autopilot. His name is Paul Hannam, he’s the author of The Wisdom of Groundhog Day: How to Improve Your Life One Day at a Time, and today on the show, Paul unpacks the deeper philosophical layers of what’s considered one of the best movies of all time. Paul explains how the film teaches us that to escape the ruts of what he calls the “Groundhog Day condition,” we must first make an inner change where we learn to approach life in a more grateful, present-focused, engaged way. From there, we can embrace the film’s unique strategy for change, which is to experiment with doing something new every day, thereby refining and improving our lives through the process of trial, error, and progressive improvement.Resources Related to the Podcast Groundhog Day AoM Article: Getting Over the Horror of the Same Old Thing AoM article on Nietzche’s idea of eternal return Sunday Firesides: Eternity Is Now Sunday Firesides: Care, But Don’t Care Sunday Firesides: Life Is a Skill — Practice It AoM Podcast #676: Stop Living on Autopilot and Take Responsibility for Your Life AoM Article: The Right and Wrong Way to Journal Connect With Paul HannamPaul’s WebsiteListen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When we think about people who can live anywhere, we tend to think about corporate-employed remote workers and online entrepreneurs. But many other kinds of professionals, from teachers to doctors, could hypothetically find a job anywhere, and thus live anywhere they’d like.If you’re what my guest Melody Warnick calls an “anywhereist” and have seriously or casually considered moving somewhere else, today we’ll talk through the factors to consider in making that decision. Melody is the author of If You Could Live Anywhere: The Surprising Importance of Place in a Work-from-Anywhere World, and in today’s conversation we discuss the factors that you should include in what she calls a “location strategy,” from the cost of living in a place to whether it allows you to build the kinds of relationships you’re looking for. We also talk about how the place you live can be part of your purpose in life and the elements that contribute to an overall quality of life.Resources Related to the Podcast Melody‘s previous appearance on the AoM Podcast: Episode #227 — The Art & Science of Loving the Place You Live Melody‘s previous book — This Is Where You Belong: Finding Home Wherever You Are Tulsa’s remote worker program Make My Move — website which catalogs the various offers cities are making to entice people to move there CNN’s cost of living calculator AoM Article: How to Make Friends in a New City Connect With Melody WarnickMelody‘s WebsiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I've been barbell lifting for seven years. In that time I've hit some personal records that I'm proud of: a 615-lb deadlift, 225 shoulder press, and 465 squat. The last couple years though, I haven't notched these kinds of big milestones for a combination of reasons, including dealing with injuries, having less time, and experiencing a shift in motivation.A lot of lifters, as well as amateur athletes of all kinds, will follow a similar trajectory as they move from first starting out to getting deeper into their fitness journey. Here to walk us through the phases of that journey is my own strength coach, Matt Reynolds, who's the founder of Barbell Logic Online Coaching. Matt talks about how the things his lifters focus on change as they move from beginner, to intermediate, to advanced, and why it takes longer to get stronger the longer you've been lifting. We then discuss how to rediscover your motivation for training once progress in your one rep maxes slows down by finding new PRs to chase and learning to enjoy the process over the outcome. We also get into how to stay consistent with your workouts when life gets busier as you get older, as well as how to deal with common injuries — both the injuries themselves and the mental game of working through them.Resources Related to the Podcast Matt’s previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #154 — Strength Training for Everyone The BarbellLogic Podcast AoM Article: Why Every Man Should Be Strong AoM Article: Motivation Over Discipline AoM Article: How to Treat Bicep Tendonitis AoM Article: How to Treat Adductor Tendonitis AoM Article: The Starr Protocol for Rehabbing Muscle Tears and Strains Connect With Matt ReynoldsMatt at BarbellLogicSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Matthew Dicks wears a lot of hats. Among other things, he's a storyteller, communications consultant, writer, and schoolteacher. In order to excel in his professional life, as well as do what he loves in his personal life, he's developed a set of strategies that help him be more creative and productive, and can be used by anyone who wants to start making the most of life.Matt writes about these tactics and mindset shifts in his latest book Someday Is Today: 22 Simple, Actionable Ways to Propel Your Creative Life, and he shares some of them with us today on the show, including why you need to think in minutes, be an eagle rather than a mouse, practice deliberate incuriosity, and always do your best to act like a decent human being. Along the way, Matt and I talk about why you should floss in the shower and how restaurants that make guacamole at your table are a great example of the folly of making a thing, a thing.Resources Related to the Podcast Matt's previous appearance on the AoM Podcast: Episode #462 — How to Tell Better Stories AoM Article: The 7 Habits — Begin With the End in Mind Matthew telling the story of how he was robbed AoM Article: Possibilities in Spare Moments Connect With Matthew DicksMatthew’s WebsiteListen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you've been listening to this show or reading the AoM website for awhile, then you likely know what my favorite book of all time is: Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry.It's therefore my real pleasure to be able to talk all about that novel today with Steven Frye, professor of American literature and author of Understanding Larry McMurtry. We last had Steve on the show to talk about The Road by Cormac McCarthy. In this episode, we unpack Lonesome Dove, beginning with some background on McMurtry, and the style and themes he explores in his work. From there we turn to Lonesome Dove, and its surprising influences, from Jane Austen to Cervantes. Steve and I explore the characters of Augustus McCrae and Woodrow Call, how they can represent the archetypes of the Epicurean and the Stoic, and what we can learn from their friendship. We also talk about the complexities of other characters in the novel, and end our conversation with why Lonesome Dove, despite not having a stereotypically happy ending, is such a life-affirming book.A spoiler alert here: We are going to reveal plenty of plot points in this discussion, so be aware of that if you haven't yet read Lonesome Dove.After the show is over, check out the show notes at aom.is/lonesomedoveResources Related to the Podcast Books by Steven Frye, including his novel Dogwood Crossing Steve's last appearance on the show: Episode #760 — Cormac McCarthy, The Road, and Carrying the Fire Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry LonesomeDove, the television miniseries AoM Article: Why Every Man Should Read Jane Austen AoM Article: The Tragic, Liberating Message About Manliness Hidden in American Tall Tales Sunday Fireside: Get on Your Horse and Kick AoM Article: Gut Check — Are You a Contemptible Person? AoM Article: Books So Good I’ve Read Them 2X (Or More!) Connect With Steven FryeSteve’s WebsiteListen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A lot of us have niggling bodily pains. A bum knee, a tight hip, an achy back. My guest would say that the cause of those maladies, as well as their cure, can likely be traced to a common source: your posture.His name is VinhPham and he's a physical therapist and the author ofSit Up Straight: Future-Proof Your Body Against Chronic Pain with 12 Simple Movements. Today on the show, Vinh explains the problems that can arise when we don't stand and sit properly, and simply sit too much in general, and how those problems can be prevented by practicing good posture. He explains what good posture looks like when you're sitting and standing, and the cues that will help keep your body well-aligned. Vinh shares the ideal ratio of sitting to standing to aim for throughout the day, and a better way to hold your phone so you don't get something called "tech neck." Vinh then walks us through some exercises you can do to address physical issues you may already have, from tight shoulders and hips to lower back pain.Resources Related to the Podcast AoM Article: The Ultimate Guide to Posture AoM Article: De-Quasimodo Yourself — 6 Exercises to Counteract Slouching AoM Article: 7 Simple Exercises That Undo the Damage of Sitting AoM Podcast #213: Undoing the Damage of Chronic Sitting AoM Article: The History, Benefits, and Use of Standing Desks Connect With Vinh Pham Myodetox Vinh on IG See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

As a member of the Ottawa Tribe and someone who's worked with over five hundred tribal nations, my guest has long been inspired by his Native American culture and heritage, particularly the tradition of native warriors. And he thinks those warriors have much to teach all modern people about work, life, and leadership.His name is D.J. Vanas and he's the author of The Warrior Within: Own Your Power to Serve, Fight, Protect, and Heal. Today on the show, D.J. explains what the warrior spirit is, and how important it is for everyone to cultivate, especially those who want to lead, serve, and live with a purpose bigger than the self. He takes principles of Native American tradition and philosophy, including living off the land, taking a vision quest, counting coup, being a firekeeper, and developing toughness, and shows how they apply to anyone who's looking to develop resilience, achieve their goals, and make a positive impact on the world.Resources Related to the Podcast Ottawa Tribe AoM series: Lessons from the Sioux in how to develop situational awareness, mental and physical toughness, and spirituality, as well as how to turn a boy into a man AoM Podcast #526: The Rise and Fall of the Most Powerful Indian Tribe in American History Podcast #633: The World and Vision of Lakota Medicine Man Black Elk AoM Article: You May Be Strong, But Are You Tough? AoM article on creating a personal mission statement AoM Article: 20 Battle Cries Through the Ages Connect With D.J. VanasD.J.'s WebsiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

As men, we all want to be physically capable. We want to be able to save our own life in two ways: in the more metaphorical sense of wanting to preserve it in healthy, fit form for as long as possible, and in the more literal sense of being able to make it through an emergency unscathed. How do you know if you do possess that kind of lifesaving physical capability?It’s time to do more than wonder, and really check in with yourself. My guest today has some helpful benchmarks that guys from age 8 to 80 can use to see if they’ve got an operative level of strength, mobility, and conditioning. His name is Dan John, and he’s a strength coach and the author of numerous books and articles on health and fitness. Dan walks us through the fitness standards the average male should be able to meet from childhood to old age, beginning with the assessments he gives to those who are 55 years old and older, which includes carrying their body weight, a long jump, and something called “the toilet test.” We then reach back to childhood, and Dan discusses the physical skills kids should become adept in, which were inspired by a turn-of-the-20th-century physical culturist who thought every individual ought to be able to save his own life, and which can be broken down into the categories of pursuit, escape, and attack. We end our conversation with the physical standards those in the 18-55 range should be able to meet, including how much a man should be able to bench press, squat, and deadlift, and the walking test that’s an excellent assessment of your cardiovascular conditioning.Resources/Articles/People Mentioned in Podcast My first and second interview with Dan 10 Things Every Lifter Should Be Able to Do Don’t Just Lift Heavy, Carry Heavy Take the Simple Test That Can Predict Your Mortality The 10 Physical Skills Every Man Should Master How to Achieve Physical Autonomy The History of Physical Fitness Every Man Should Be Able to Save His Own Life 12 Balance Exercises You Can Do on a 2×4 Shaker Plate Break Out of Your Cage and Stop Being a Human Zoo Animal Connect With DanDanJohnUniversity.com (use code “artofman” for a discount) Dan on FacebookDan’s website See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You struggle with being productive. So you decide you need to establish a routine for yourself. You get real gung-ho about this routine — this is going to be the thing that changes everything! But then you fail to stick to it. So you flagellate yourself for that failure and decide what you need is a different routine. But then you don’t stick with that routine either. The cycle then repeats itself, leaving you no more productive than you were at the start.My guest, Madeleine Dore, found herself stuck in this cycle. So she decided to start interviewing successful creative types to get their secrets to an optimal routine. Yet these folks would confide to her a different secret: they actually didn’t have a routine either.Madeleine has come to believe something that I’ve discovered too: routines aren’t all they’re cracked up to be and you can actually still be very creative and productive even if you go about each day in a looser, more ad-hoc fashion.Today on the show, I talk to Madeleine, who’s the author of I Didn’t Do the Thing Today: Letting Go of Productivity Guilt, about how the all-or-nothing thinking which surrounds routines can actually sabotage our effectiveness. We then discuss alternatives to keeping a strict routine that still allow you to get stuff done, including moving to a “portable routine,” taking advantage of “splodge time,” and embracing cycles and seasons in your work. We also discuss other ways to let go of unuseful productivity guilt, including setting realistic expectations and not eating the frog first.Resources Related to the Podcast How to Live on Twenty-four Hours a Day by Arnold Bennett Austin Kleon AoM article on the “possibilities in spare moments” AoM article on Emerson, pear trees, and the seasons of life AoM article on famous men who took advantage of “splodge time” to become a success AoM Podcast #602: The Case for Being Unproductive Connect With Madeleine Dore Madeleine’s Website Madeleine on IG See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We like to think that our personal safety and the safety of our loved ones is something that other people — law enforcement, school administrators, social media moderators — will take care of for us. My guest today, Spencer Coursen, would say that while this mindset may help us feelsafe, it's actually when we feel the most safe, that we're in the greatest danger. Spencer — who's a combat veteran and a threat management expert — calls this paradox "the safety trap," and he's the author of a book of the same name. Today on the show, Spencer shares the factors that can put us in the safetytrap, and ways to escape it. We discuss how an avoidance mindset and a reliance on false authority can put us in greater danger, how the run-hide-fight rubric for responding to an active shooter has been misapplied, and how being too polite can get you killed. From there we turn to ways you can take responsibility for your own safety, including knowing the warning signs that someone may take violent action and staying physically fit. We also discuss what to do if people are sending you potentially threatening messages online.Resources Related to the Podcast AoM Article: What to Do in an Active Shooter Situation AoM Podcast #513: Be Your Own Bodyguard Podcast #688: Protection for and from Humanity Radio Lab: No Special Duty Connect With Spencer Coursen The SafetyTrap Website Spencer on LinkedIn Spencer on Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Despite assuming the presidency from the 20th century’s narrowest election victory, John F. Kennedy captivated the American public’s imagination, even before his untimely death. What was it that made JFK so compelling in his own time, and continues to contribute to his enduring appeal today?We dive into the answer to that question by unpacking some of Kennedy’s personal qualities and complexities with Mark Updegrove, author ofIncomparable Grace: JFK in the Presidency. We begin our conversation with how JFK’s upbringing and war experience shaped him. We talk about his leadership style while in office, how he intentionally cultivated his cool and appealing image, and what his wife Jackie added to that image. Mark explains what was behind Kennedy’s infamous affairs, and how JFK championed physical fitness despite being in tremendous physical pain himself. We end our conversation with the traits that worked both for and against JFK’s success as president. Resources Related to the Podcast Profiles in Courage by John F. Kennedy Addison’s Disease JFK on “The Soft American” JFK’s Inaugural Speech JFK’s Moon Speech AoM Article: Take the TR/JFK 50-Mile Challenge Connect with Mark Updegrove Mark at the LBJ Presidential Library Mark’s Podcast: With the Bark Off — Conversations on the American Presidency See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There are thousands of books, podcasts, and social media posts about how to be more productive, strengthen your relationships, find your purpose, and be your all-around best self. And there are legions of programs and seminars out there designed to help you improve your life. All together, self-help represents a multi-billion dollar industry.But despite its ubiquity and cultural influence, you may never have thought about the deeper underpinnings of self-improvement. My guest has. In fact, her research led her to add being a life coach to her academic work as a professor of cultural history, surely creating one of the most unique career combinations. Her name is Anna Schaffner and she's the author of The Art of Self-Improvement: Ten Timeless Truths. Anna and I begin our conversation with how the idea of self-improvement, far from being a recent, Western phenomenon, traces back to antiquity and can be found across cultures. We discuss how self-help reflects what a culture values, and changes based on a culture's conception of selfhood, agency, and the relationship between the individual and society. From there we turn to a few of the timeless principles of self-improvement — self-control, being virtuous, and building positive relationships — looking both at how they were tackled anciently, as well as more modern angles that can also be helpful. We discuss the downside of taking a strictly Stoic approach to life, the idea of making virtue a habit, and how Dale Carnegie can be seen as a modern Machiavelli, in a good way. We end our conversation with Anna's four favorite self-improvement books.Resources Related to the Podcast Anna's previous appearance on the show — Episode #476: Are Modern People the Most Exhausted in History? AoM Podcast #377: 12 Rules for Life With Jordan Peterson Bildung AoM Podcast #614 with Stephen Hayes, founder of Acceptance and Commitment therapy AoM Podcast #746: The Confucian Gentleman AoM Podcast #148: Trying Not to Try How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie Anna's favorite self-improvement books: Meditations by Marcus Aurelius The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle Connect with Anna Schaffner Anna's Personal Website Anna's Coaching Website See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In 1981, Time magazine stated: “If you are ever in a crucial life-changing negotiation, the person you want on your side of the table is Herb Cohen.” Cohen was then known as the world’s best negotiator, and had worked with Fortune 500 companies, professional athletes, and US presidents, and also penned the bestselling book You Can Negotiate Anything.Fast forward to today, and his son, Rich Cohen, has written a memoir of his father’s life, and life philosophy, called The Adventures of Herbie Cohen: World’s Greatest Negotiator. Today on the show, Rich shares stories from Herbie’s life, from his colorful childhood on the streets of Brooklyn where he palled around in a gang with future famous figures like Larry King and Sandy Koufax, to coaching basketball in the Army, to becoming a sought-after strategist and dealmaker. Along the way, Rich shares the life lessons that grew out of those stories, including how power is perception, and why you need to care, but not that much.Resources Related to the Podcast Larry King tells the Moppo story Larry King tells the Carvel story AoM Article: How to Haggle Like Your Old Man Podcast #234: Haggling and Deal Making Advice From a FBI Hostage Negotiator AoM podcast and article on the OODA Loop AoM Article: The 7 Habits — Think Win/Win Sunday Firesides: Care, But Don’t Care Connect With Rich Cohen Rich’s Website Rich on Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In the modern age, people are bombarded with more information, and are more personally responsible for managing that information, than ever before. How do you stay on top of your schedule, work responsibilities, financial obligations, and the spigot of media that runs full force 24/7 while not only avoiding becoming overwhelmed, but actually using all that information to generate better ideas, advance your career, and generally improve your life?My guest would say that the answer lies in having a mind outside your mind. His name is Tiago Forte and he's the author of Building a Second Brain: A Proven Method to Organize Your Digital Life and Unlock Your Creative Potential. Today on the show, Tiago explains how a Second Brain is an external resource where you can store all of the most valuable checklists, thoughts, notes, ideas, and insights you acquire and generate. He explains how the Second Brain supercharges the historical practice of keeping a commonplace book, and how it improves your productivity and well-being by getting stuff out of your head, off your bandwidth, and into a place where you can actually put it to use. Tiago then walks us through this system of "Personal Knowledge Management," including the tools you can use to capture information, the question to ask yourself to decide what to capture, and why he recommends organizing what you capture around action instead of subject. And Tiago explains how the ultimate goal of having a Second Brain is to take what you put into this treasury and synthesize it into better ways to live, think, act, and express yourself.Resources Related to the Podcast Commonplace books AoM Article: The Man Book — Creating a Reservoir of Timeless Wisdom Tiago's YouTube series on choosing a digital notes app Digital note-taking apps mentioned in the show: Evernote Notion Obsidian Google Keep Microsoft OneNote Pocket — an article-saving app Tiago's blog post on his "PARA" organization system Connect With Tiago ForteTiago's WebsiteListen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)Listen to the episode on a separate page.Download this episode.Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice.Listen ad-free on Stitcher Premium; get a free month when you use code "manliness" at checkout.Podcast SponsorsClick here to see a full list of our podcast sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In March of this year, Mark Vande Hei returned to earth after spending 355 days in outer space. Today on the show, I talk to Mark about what it was like to spend nearly a year in orbit, and how he ended up setting a new record for the longest spaceflight by an American astronaut. We first talk about how Mark went from being a soldier in the Army who served twice in Iraq, to working for NASA. Mark explains the application process for becoming an astronaut and what he thought were the hardest parts of his training. He then shares how you exercise in space, what a typical work day on the International Space Station is like, and how it feels to do a space walk. I ask Mark whether he was worried when the Russians threatened to abandon him in space, whether life on the space station is hard on morale, what it's like physically to return to earth, and whether there's a letdown when it's time to hang up your astronaut pack.Resources Related to the Podcast AoM Podcast #654: How to Astronaut United States Army Space and Missile Defense Command Video of Mark's time in space Connect With Mark Vande Hei Mark on Twitter Mark on LinkedIn Listen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)Listen to the episode on a separate page.Download this episode.Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice.Listen ad-free on Stitcher Premium; get a free month when you use code "manliness" at checkout.Podcast SponsorsClick here to see a full list of our podcast sponsors.Transcript Coming SoonSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Whenever you get into an argument, whether you're discussing politics with a colleague or the distribution of chores with your spouse, you likely feel like you're floundering. You feel worked up, but you don't feel like you're getting your point across, much less convincing the other person of it, and the conversation simply goes in circles. You can feel like a rank amateur at arguing.Maybe what you need are some pro tips from someone who's spent his life arguing competitively. Enter my guest: Bo Seo. Bo is a two-time world champion debater, a former coach of the Australian national debating team and the Harvard College Debating Union, and the author of Good Arguments: How Debate Teaches Us to Listen and Be Heard. Today on the show, Bo and I discuss why learning the art of rhetoric and debate was once an integral part of education in the West, why the subject disappeared from schools, and the loss this has represented for society. We then turn to the lessons Bo's taken from his debating career that you can apply to your own everyday arguments, whether big or small. Bo explains why it's important to establish what an argument is really about before you start into it, and shares a rubric for homing in on which of three types of disagreements may be at the core of a conflict. He then explains two things a strong argument has to do, and four questions to ask yourself to see if you’ve met these requirements. Bo also unpacks his three P's for creating persuasive rhetoric and how to effectively rebut someone else’s claims. We end our conversation with how to determine when it’s worth getting into a particular argument and when it's better to walk away.Resources Related to the Podcast AoM series on Rhetoric 101 The Winston Churchill Guide to Public Speaking The Art of Rhetoric by Aristotle AoM Podcast #639: Why You Should Learn the Lost Art of Rhetoric AoM Podcast #799: Getting Along Is Overrated Connect With Bo SeoBo's WebsiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The 18th century doctor, civic leader, and renaissance man Benjamin Rush was one of the youngest signers of the Declaration of Independence, edited and named Thomas Paine's Common Sense, implemented medical practices that helped the Continental Army win the Revolutionary War, made sure Benjamin Franklin attended the Constitutional Convention, and shaped the medical and political landscape of the newly formed United States.Yet despite his outsized influence, the varied and interesting life he led, and the close relationships he had with other founding fathers like George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and John Adams, Rush is hardly remembered today. That's because of just how close his relationship with those other founders was. Rush was a personal physician to them and their families, and after his death, they suppressed his legacy, not wanting the intimate and unflattering details he had recorded in his letters and journals to be publicized. In fact, his memoir was considered too dangerous to be published and wasn't found for nearly 150 years.My guest will re-introduce us to this forgotten figure. His name is Stephen Fried, and he's the author of Rush: Revolution, Madness, and Benjamin Rush, the Visionary Doctor Who Became a Founding Father. Today on the show, Stephen takes us through Rush's fascinating life, from his self-made rise out of inauspicious childhood, to how he was able to reconcile an estranged Jefferson and Adams before his death, and what Stephen has learned from studying a character who lived through very fraught and not totally unfamiliar times.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

95% of people say that they're self-aware. But only 10-15% of people actually are. As my guest today says, that means "on a good day, 80% of us are lying to ourselves about how much we're lying to ourselves" and this blind spot can have big repercussions for our success and happiness. Her name is Tasha Eurich, and she's an organizational psychologist and the author of Insight: Why We're Not as Self-Aware as We Think, and How Seeing Ourselves Clearly Helps Us Succeed at Work and in Life. Tasha kicks off our conversation by arguing that our level of self-awareness sets the upper limit of our individual effectiveness and that self-awareness can be developed and is truly the meta skill of the 21st century. She then unpacks what it is you know about yourself when you possess self-awareness, how there are two types of this knowledge, internal and external, and how you can have one without the other. Tasha then outlines the seven pillars of self-awareness, the barriers to getting insights into them -- including falling into the cult of self -- and how these barriers can be overcome, including asking yourself a daily check-in question. We then discuss how two of the most common methods for gaining self-knowledge -- introspection and journaling -- can in fact backfire and how to do them more effectively by asking yourself what instead of why, and actually journaling less instead of more. We also get into why you should be an in-former, rather than a me-former on social media, how to become more mindful without meditation, and how to solicit and handle feedback from other people, including holding something called the "Dinner of Truth."If reading this in an email, click the title of the post to listen to the show.Resources/People/Articles Mentioned in Podcast The Science of Insights How to Get More "Aha" Insights Define Your Core Values 7 Habits of Highly Effective People You Need a Reset Day Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life Why I Stopped Journaling 4 Questions That Will Crush the Fear of Missing Out How to Get Better at Taking Feedback Insight Quiz Connect With TashaTasha's websiteTasha on TwitterListen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!) See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In your quest to become a better home chef, you probably find yourself wondering things like: What potato should I use in this recipe? How much salt should I put in this dish? Am I even making spaghetti right? But then you forget to Google the answer to your question, or if you do, you feel overwhelmed by the number of opinions out there.Well, my guest will cut through that noise and answer some of your cooking FAQs once and for all. His name is Daniel Holzman and he's a chef and the co-author, along with Matt Rodbard, of Food IQ: 100 Questions, Answers, and Recipes to Raise Your Cooking Smarts. Today on the show, Daniel will offer his advice on whether the kind of onion and potato you use in a recipe matters, and whether it's okay to use frozen vegetables. He explains why you should be less worried about getting foodborne illnesses from meat, and the type of food that's more likely to make you sick. Daniel offers the lowdown on salt, including how to figure out exactly how much you need in a dish; when to use the convection bake function on your oven; his recommendations for the best frying pan and chef's knife; the secrets to making perfect spaghetti, scrambled eggs, and steak; and plenty of other tips as well.Resources Related to the Podcast Daniel's restaurants: The Meatball Shop Danny Boy's Famous Original Pizza AoM Article: The Best Way to Salt Meat All-Clad 10-Inch Frying Pan Wusthof Classic 10" Chef's Knife Victorinox 8" Chef's Knife AoM Article: Cooking With Cast Iron Video of Daniel Making Honey Boo Boo's "Sketti" AoM Article: How to Make James Bond Scrambled Eggs AoM Article: Grilling the Perfect Steak Connect with Daniel Holzman Food IQ Website Daniel on Twitter Daniel on IG See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Travel can offer a lot of good: memory-making adventure, mind-expanding experiences, and plenty of fun and relaxation. It's not surprising then that most people say they'd like to travel more than they do. What's keeping them from fulfilling that desire? Well, one obstacle, especially these days, is that the high price of plane tickets puts flying out of reach.My guest today can help you surmount this obstacle so you can get away more often. His name is Scott Keyes, and he's the founder of Scott's Cheap Flights and the author of Take More Vacations: How to Search Better, Book Cheaper, and Travel the World. Today on the show, Scott shares how scoring cheap flights can help you travel more often, the advantages of taking more frequent vacations, and the psychological benefit of planning your trips well in advance. We then get into the misconceptions people have about ticket pricing. From there we turn to Scott's strategies for booking cheap flights, beginning with why he recommends adopting a "Flight First" rather than "Destination First" approach. Scott shares the "Goldilocks" time window when cheap flights are most likely to pop up, the benefits of building flexibility into your itinerary, the days that are typically cheapest to fly, and his favorite search site to look for flights. He also explains how to use the 24-hour rule and Southwest Airlines as arbitrage in getting better prices on your tickets, and how to employ what he calls the "Greek Islands Strategy" to save money when flying internationally. We end our conversation with how to take advantage of "mistake fares," and whether the high prices you're seeing this summer are here to stay.Connect With Scott Keyes Scott's Cheap Flights Scott on Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A lot of young men today struggle in finding their footing in adulthood. They feel lost, directionless, and unsure of who they are and how to confidently and competently navigate the world.Part of the reason for this is that most young men today lack something which was once a part of nearly every culture in the world, but has now almost entirely disappeared: a rite of passage.My guest today didn't want his son to flounder on the way to maturity, nor to miss out on having an initiation into manhood, so he set out to create a 6-year journey for him that would help him move from boy to man. His name is Jon Tyson, and he's the author of The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character. Today on the show, Jon unpacks the components of the years-long journey into manhood he created for his son, beginning with how he brainstormed those components by doing "The Day Your Son Leaves Home" exercise. We then discuss how old Jon's son was when he started his rite of passage and why it began with him having a "severing dinner" with his mom. We get into what his rite of passage consisted of, from the kickoff ceremony to the challenges, experiences, trips, and daily rituals Jon used to impart values and teach his son the "5 Shifts of Manhood." Jon shares how moving his son's focus from being a good man, to being good at being a man, helped him get remotivated to continue the process, why his rite of passage included a gap year after high school, and how Jon celebrated the end of his son's journey into becoming a man. We also discuss whether Jon did something similar with his daughter. We end our conversation with some key principles any dad can use to start intentionally helping their kids become well-rounded individuals who can confidently step out on their own and into the world.Resources Related to the Podcast AoM Article: The Importance of Fathers AoM Article: The Importance of Male Rites of Passage AoM Article: Male Rites of Passage From Around the World AoM Article & Podcast: Man’s Need for Ritual AoM Series on the origins, elements, and future of manhood AoM Article: The 7 Habits — Begin With the End in Mind AoM Article: The 3 Families Every Young Man Needs to Grow Up Well James Hollis AoM Article: Carry the Fire Art of Manliness' Carry the Fire Zippo Lighter AoM Article: What Is Manliness? AoM Podcast #527 With Richard Rohr The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact by Chip and Dan Heath The Way of Men by Jack Donovan AoM Podcast #49 With Jack Donovan AoM Series on the Four Archetypes of the Mature Masculine AoM Article: 100 Skills Every Man Should Know AoM Article: 80+ Quotes on Men & Manhood Connect With Jon Tyson Primal Path Jon on Twitter Jon on IG See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Puzzles may seem like fairly pedestrian pastimes — fun ways to while away a rainy afternoon. And while they certainly do make for satisfying diversions, my guest would say they're also more than that, and can teach us plenty about life as well.His name is A.J. Jacobs, and he's the author of The Puzzler: One Man's Quest to Solve the Most Baffling Puzzles Ever, from Crosswords to Jigsaws to the Meaning of Life. Today on the show, A.J. explains what makes a puzzle a puzzle, and why we're drawn to them and enjoy them so much. We then discuss the charm of certain puzzles, from crosswords and Rubik's Cubes, to jigsaws and mazes. Along the way, we discuss some of the strategies behind solving these puzzles, and how these strategies can help you become an all-around better thinker and decision maker, and better at navigating the puzzling dilemmas of life itself.Resources Related to the Podcast A.J.'s previous appearance on the podcast — Episode #53: Experimenting With Your Life Maki Kaji — the father of Sudoku AoM Article: The Best Riddles for Kids A.J.'s wife's scavenger hunt company, Watson Adventures Wordplay The Great Vermont Corn Maze Tanya Khovanova's Math Blog Kryptos — art sculpture with encrypted code on the grounds of the CIA Apophenia Sunday Firesides: Take It Bird by Bird Connect With A.J. Jacobs A.J.'s Website A.J. on Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We've all heard by now just how important strong relationships are to our health and well-being. But a lot of the common advice and conventional wisdom out there about how to build stronger relationships doesn't end up taking us closer to that goal.My guest today has spent years sorting through what really builds better friendships, reignites love, and helps people get closer to others, and he shares these research-backed insights in his new book: Plays Well with Others: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is (Mostly) Wrong. Eric shares what he's learned today on the show, beginning with why we're good at figuring out someone's personality from the moment we meet them, but bad at reading their thoughts and feelings, and how to get better at the latter by making other people more readable, as well as how to make a better first impression yourself. We then turn to what makes friendship a unique relationship that makes us uniquely happy, and the two "costly signals" that most develop friendship. We also get into why friends we feel ambivalent about are actually worse for us than outright enemies. We spend the last part of our conversation on how the modern age is both the worst and the best time for marriage, and how the key to ensuring that yours is one of the happiest in history is maintaining positive sentiment override.Resources Related to the Podcast Eric's previous appearance on the show: #322 — Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong AoM Article & Podcast: Why Your First Impression Matters AoM Podcast: #567: Understanding the Wonderful, Frustrating Dynamic of Friendship How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie AoM Podcast #772: How Long Does It Take to Make Friends? Arthur Aron's 36 Questions That Lead to Love The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work by Eli Finkel AoM Articles: Why the Secret of a Happy, Successful Marriage Is Treating It Like a Bank Account and The Best Ways to Fund Your Relationship Bank Account AoM Article & Podcast: How and Why to Hold a Weekly Marriage Meeting Connect With Eric BarkerEric's WebsiteSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Friedrich Nietzsche is famous for espousing a philosophy that may be a help in wrestling with existential angst and finding meaning in life.My guest would say that Nietzsche’s philosophy may also be useful for figuring out something else: how to have a healthy relationship with modern technology. His name is Nate Anderson and he’s the author of In Emergency, Break Glass: What Nietzsche Can Teach Us About Joyful Living in a Tech-Saturated World. Today on the show, Nate, who’s a deputy editor at the website Ars Technica, shares how someone who grew up loving technology and has spent his career writing about it, reached a point where he felt disenchanted with its effects on his life, and why he turned to the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche for insights on how to approach tech more fruitfully. We then turn to the way tech has made life too safe, easy, and frictionless, and how Nietzschean goals, asceticism, and creative, self-overcoming exertion can help us find deeper fulfillment. Nate unpacks four Nietzsche-inspired guidelines for information consumption, the importance of the physical body in thinking and feeling, and our need to embrace greater Dionysian energy and perhaps live a bit more dangerously. Resources Related to the Podcast AoM Article: A Primer on Friedrich Nietzsche — His Life and Philosophical Style AoM Article: Say Yes to Life — An Accessible Primer on Nietzsche’s Big Ideas AoM Article: Nietzsche’s 66 Best Aphorisms AoM Podcast #480: Hiking With Nietzsche AoM Article: Solvitur Ambulando — It Is Solved By Walking AoM Podcast #215: Becoming an Individual in an Age of Distraction (With Matthew Crawford) AoM Podcast #796: The Life We’re Looking For Twilight Zone episode “A Nice Place to Visit” Connect With Nate AndersonNate on Ars TechnicaListen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)Listen to the episode on a separate page.Download this episode.Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice.Listen ad-free on Stitcher Premium; get a free month when you use code “manliness” at checkout.Podcast SponsorsClick here to see a full list of our podcast sponsors.Transcript Coming SoonSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Medal of Honor is the military's highest and most prestigious decoration and is awarded to a member of the United States Armed Forces who "distinguished himself conspicuously by gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty."During World War II, no U.S. unit would produce more Medal of Honor recipients than the Army's Third Infantry Division, and my guest profiles four of those recipients — Maurice Britt, Michael Daly, Keith Ware, and the famous Audie Murphy — in his new book Against All Odds: A True Story of Ultimate Courage and Survival in World War II. Today on the show, Alex explains how the prodigiousness of the Third Infantry Division was due to effective leadership, and the sheer fact that they were in combat so long, serving from the very beginning of the war in Europe to its very end. We then get into the stories of Britt, Daly, Ware, and Murphy, unpacking their varied backgrounds, how they earned their Medals of Honor — and many more decorations besides — and what their lives were like after the war. We end our conversation with what Alex has personally taken away from the stories of these brave men.Resources Related to the Podcast Third Infantry Division Maurice Britt's Medal of Honor Citation Michael Daly's Medal of Honor Citation Keith Ware's Medal of Honor Citation Audie Murphy's Medal of Honor Citation AoM Article: Lessons in Manliness from Byron “Whizzer” White General Alexander Patch Audie Murphy's To Hell and Back — the book and film Connect With Alex KershawAlex's WebsiteListen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)Listen to the episode on a separate page.Download this episode.Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice.Listen ad-free on Stitcher Premium; get a free month when you use code "manliness" at checkout.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When you look back on the moments you regret most in your life, a fair number of them likely involved you being angry. And if these cringe-inducing, life- and relationship-damaging moments happen more often than you'd like, then it's time to start thinking about how to get a handle on your anger.My guest today offers help in that process. His name is Dr. Chip Tafrate, and he's a clinical psychologist, a professor of criminology and criminal justice, and the co-author, along with Howard Kassinove, of Anger Management for Everyone: Ten Proven Strategies to Help You Control Anger and Live a Happier Life. Chip walks us through what anger is, how it's distinctive from aggression, and how it can be both destructive and healthy. We then get into some of the strategies Chip recommends for managing your anger so it stays in that latter zone, including making changes to your lifestyle, avoiding anger-inducing triggers, reframing your thoughts, and doing anger exposure therapy.Resources Related to the Podcast Anger Management for Any Situation — Chip and Howard's Udemy course AoM podcast #614 with Steven Hayes on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy AoM Podcast #489: How to Get a Handle on Your Anger AoM Article: How Reframing Builds Resilience AoM Article: The Virtuous Life — Tranquility Connect With Dr. Chip TafrateChip's faculty page at CCSUListen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)Listen to the episode on a separate page.Download this episode.Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice.Listen ad-free on Stitcher Premium; get a free month when you use code "manliness" at checkout.Podcast SponsorsClick here to see a full list of our podcast sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In the 19th century, the source of the Nile River remained one of the greatest mysteries of geographic exploration. The story of how the British eventually found it is one of adventure, danger, and bravery, but also arrogance, envy, and resentment.Here to offer some snapshots from this dramatic expedition is Candice Millard, author of River of the Gods: Genius, Courage, and Betrayal in the Search for the Source of the Nile. Today on the show, Candice shares how two men who were very much opposites, Richard Francis Burton and John Hanning Speke, ventured together on two years-long expeditions to locate the source of the longest and most legendary river in the world, the harrowing obstacles they faced in their quest, and how their partnership devolved into a bitter rivalry. Along the way, we discuss what made Burton such a compelling character, why we remember his name but not Speke's, and the African guide who was the unheralded hero in the achievements of both men.Resources Related to the Podcast Candice's previous appearance on the show — #240: The Making of Winston Churchill Richard Francis Burton John Hanning Speke Sidi Mubarak Bombay Lake Victoria Lake Tanganyika AoM Article: Lessons From Richard Francis Burton AoM Article: An Intro to Envy Connect With Candice MillardCandice's WebsiteListen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)Listen to the episode on a separate page.Download this episode.Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice.Listen ad-free on Stitcher Premium; get a free month when you use code "manliness" at checkout.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

During World War II, Henry Beecher, an anesthesiologist serving in the U.S. Army, noticed that 32% of the soldiers he treated for horrific battle wounds felt no pain. A further 44% experienced only slight or mild discomfort, despite the fact they had shrapnel embedded in their bodies. Beecher hypothesized that the euphoria of surviving battle resulted in the release of a natural painkiller. When morphine was running low in Europe, Beecher thought he could harness the mind’s seeming ability to produce natural painkillers in a different way by injecting soldiers who were about to undergo surgery with a simple saline solution, while telling the soldiers they were receiving morphine. About 90% of these patients underwent the surgery with little or no pain.Beecher’s field-expedient placebo treatments would go on to open up decades of research into the power of our expectations. On today’s show, my guest will walk us through that fascinating research, and how the connection between the body and the mind is a lot stronger and wilder than we know.His name is David Robson and he’s an award-winning science writer and the author of The Expectation Effect: How Your Mindset Can Change Your World. David and I begin our conversation with how and why the brain operates as a prediction machine, and how the expectations it generates can shape the reality we experience. We then discuss how even when someone’s pain or condition is very real, the placebo effect can have an equally real effect on their physiology — even when people know they’re taking a placebo. We also get into the “nocebo effect,” where your expectation that a drug will have negative side effects, in fact produces those side effects. From there we turn to how the expectation effect has powerful results beyond the medical world, and shows up in the areas of sleep, diet, and fitness, including how thinking of doing chores as exercise actually increases the health benefits of that activity, how reframing your anxiety can turn it into a performance-enhancing boost, and how your perception of getting older hugely affects how you will actually physically and mentally age.Resources Related to the Podcast Some of the studies mentioned in the show: Open-label placebo treatment in chronic low back pain Conditioning open-label placebo: a pilot pharmacobehavioral approach for opioid dose reduction and pain control Mind-set matters: exercise and the placebo effect Longevity increased by positive self-perceptions of aging AoM Podcast #661: Get Better Sleep by Stressing About It Less AoM Article: Reframe for Resilience Connect With David Robson David’s Website David on Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Teddy Atlas was born to a well-respected doctor in a wealthy part of Staten Island. Most kids like him end up going to an Ivy League school to become some sort of white collar professional. Teddy? Teddy dropped out of high school, went to jail, and ended up becoming a trainer to 18 world champion boxers, including heavyweight champion Michael Moore, who defeated Evander Holyfield for the title in 1994.Today on the show I talk to Teddy about how and why he took the path he did in life. Teddy explains how he ended up boxing under legendary trainer Cus D'Amato, and how Cus guided Teddy towards becoming a trainer himself. Teddy then shares stories of training kids in the Catskills, taking them to unsanctioned amateur fights in the Bronx, and the lessons he learned from boxing and his father about personal responsibility, managing fear, overcoming resistance, and what it means to be a man.Resources/People/Articles Mentioned in Podcast Teddy's book, Atlas On Taking a Punch Cus D'Amato Kevin Rooney The 14 Best Boxing Movies A Manly History of the Sweet Science Rocky Marciano's Fight for Perfection In a Crooked World A Man's Search for Meaning Inside the Ring AoM's Boxing for Beginners series AoM's Boxing Basics The Power of Mentoring The Rise and Fall of the American Heavyweight Boxer See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If making small talk makes someone anxious, it may just be because they have a fear of such interactions, and my guest today, Rich Gallagher, can help them overcome it through his practice as a therapist. Or, someone’s anxiety around small talk can be based in part on simply not knowing how to do it, and in that case, Rich helps them by teaching them the mechanics of conversation, which he shares in his book Stress-Free Small Talk, as well as on today’s show.Rich and I begin our conversation with how small talk is important as an on-ramp to bigger things, how it’s a skill that can be developed like any other, and how learning its mechanics can dampen the anxiety you feel about taking part in it. We then turn to these mechanics of making comfortable and effective small talk, including doing prep work, embracing tried-and-true openers, and avoiding talking too much yourself. We also discuss how to join conversations that are already underway, manage committing a faux pas, acknowledge others to build connection, and end a conversation gracefully. We end our conversation with small talk strategies for first dates and job interviews, and what to do when you go to a party where you only know the host.Resources Related to the Podcast Related AoM articles on small talk/social skills: How to Make Small Talk Series on overcoming shyness Your 4 Social Gifts How to Enter a Room Like a Boss What to Do at an Event Where You Don’t Know Anyone How to Think of Questions to Ask People How to Use Body Language to Create a Dynamite First Impression How to End a Conversation How to Make a Great Last Impression How to Recover from a Bad First Impression How to Ask Better Questions on a First Date How to Give a Compliment Sunday Firesides: Want to Solve Your Social Problems? Get Over Your Self Related AoM podcasts on small talk: #317: Why Your First Impression Matters & How to Improve It #406: Why You Need to Embrace Small Talk The Rotary’s 4-Way Test See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you ever driven along the coastline, or walked by a local pond or lake and thought about taking a dip, but felt hesitant about swimming in what you know is cold water? My guest today, who argues that cold water swimming is one of the very best things you can do for your mental and physical health, will inspire you to finally take the plunge.His name is Dr. Mark Harper and he’s an anesthesiologist and the author of Chill: The Cold Water Swim Cure. We begin our conversation with how Mark’s research into the prevention of hypothermia during surgery led him to investigate the benefits of cold water exposure in managing the body’s overall stress response. We discuss the effect cold water has on the body, and the potential mental and physical benefits this effect can have, from reducing inflammation, to reducing depression caused by inflammation, to improving conditions from diabetes to migraines. We get into how long you need to be in the water to get these benefits, and the temperature the water needs to be, which may not be as cold as you think, and potentially makes, depending on where you live, cold water swimming viable as a year-round practice. Mark also explains how to get started with cold water swimming, and do it safely and effectively, including why you should start in the summer, and how best to prepare your body before you get in the water and recover after you get out of it. We end our conversation with whether or not you can get the same benefits of cold water swimming from taking an ice bath or cold shower.Resources Related to the Podcast AoM Article: Semper Virilis — A Roadmap to Manhood in the 21st Century AoM Podcast #585: Inflammation, Saunas, and the New Science of Depression Podcast #275: How Your Climate-Controlled Comfort Is Killing You On Airs, Waters, and Places by Hippocrates Richard Russell Jill Bolte Taylor’s TED talk Mike Tipton’s research BBC documentary, The Doctor Who Gave Up Drugs AoM article on the benefits of cold showers Organizations Mark works with that promote cold water swimming: Mental Health Swims Chill SeaSure See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When it comes to improving our lives and reaching our goals, we often think of changing our personal habits and routines. We think about ourselves, but don’t look outside ourselves. But my guest would say that if we really want to change and make progress, we also need to surround ourselves with positive, strengthening people, and in particular, five types of “allies of glory” who can truly help us be our best.His name is Antonio Neves and he’s an author, speaker, podcaster, and success coach. Today on the show, Antonio and I discuss the importance of relationships in moving us forward in our personal and career goals, the difference between allies who facilitate that progress and the thieves who hinder it, and how to minimize the influence that the latter have on us. We then get into the five kinds of allies Antonio says we need in our lives, and he unpacks what each of these allies offers. We end our conversation with Antonio’s advice for how to find these allies and expand your social and professional networks.Resources Related to the Podcast Antonio’s previous appearance on the podcast: #676 — Stop Living on Autopilot and Take Responsibility for Your Life Sunday Firesides: Relationships Over Willpower AoM Article: How to Cut Toxic People Out of Your Life AoM Podcast #559: How to Handle Difficult Conversations AoM Podcast #403: A Better Way to Network AoM Article: The Cabinet of Invisible Counselors Connect With Antonio NevesAntonio’s WebsiteListen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)Listen to the episode on a separate page.Download this episode.Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice.Listen ad-free on Stitcher Premium; get a free month when you use code “manliness” at checkout.Podcast SponsorsClick here to see a full list of our podcast sponsors.Transcript Coming Soon See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A lot of people really dislike conflict and have a low opinion of it. They're uncomfortable with disagreements at the office, think there's no room for contention at church, worry that fighting with their partner means their relationship is destined to dissolve, and generally feel that heated arguments tear communities apart.My guest today, Ian Leslie, used to be one of these conflict-averse people. But as he discovered in researching his new book, Conflicted: How Productive Disagreements Lead to Better Outcomes, conflict not only brings us together, the lack of it, he says, just plain makes us stupider. Today on the show, Ian and I discuss why people get the idea that conflict is unproductive from watching online arguments and why these flame wars aren't actually indicative of the value of arguing offline. We then delve into this surprising value, from the way conflict makes us smarter, to how couples who have heated arguments are actually happier. Ian unpacks some of the myths around difficult conversations, such as the idea that they have to be done in a strictly rational and unemotional way to be fruitful, and he offers ways to approach conflict that will make it more productive, especially remembering to always prioritize the relationship above all.Resources Related to the Podcast AoM Article: The Rationality of Emotions AoM Podcast #559: How to Handle Difficult Conversations Podcast #648: Lessons in Building Rapport from Experts in Terrorist Interrogation (With Laurence Alison) reddit — Change My View Connect with Kevin Maurer Ian's Website Ian on Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.