The Art Of Imperfect Adulting

If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportIn this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Lucy Bedewi about transforming rejection into an engine for personal and professional growth. Lucy is based in Austin, Texas. Listeners and viewers will learn how Lucy reframed setbacks, used resilience and self-reflection to launch her “unicorn” business approach, and why embracing imperfection can lead to powerful transformations.Lucy Bedewi is the brand messaging strategist and copywriter behind My Write Hand Woman. She’s known for her ability to connect the dots quickly and craft unique messaging angles that’ll turn normal businesses into unicorn brands. She has scaled her business to multi-6-figures by the age of 22, working with top coaches, irreverent brands, highly-differentiated businesses, and personality-packed e-commerce companies. Her story and work has been featured in Nasdaq, Thrive Global, and Create and Cultivate. An electric speaker and the host of the podcast Unicorn Messaging, Lucy inspires women to get clear on the articulation behind their business, move into their bigness, and create messaging that’s easy to buy from.Main Topics Covered:Using rejection as a catalyst for change and self-discovery in your careerNavigating job loss and leveraging a supportive safety net to take risksThe emotional reality of being fired—why it’s more common (and survivable) than people thinkBuilding a business from scratch: how spite and determination fueled Lucy’s rapid entrepreneurial successRecognizing when it’s time to walk away from unfair partnerships and startup “equity” situationsRebranding after failure: returning to authenticity, infusing personality, and launching the “unicorn” brand strategyThe role of support systems, including executive coaching, in processing setbacksShifting from internalizing rejection to viewing it as useful information—and letting go of outside validationQuote from the Episode: “You can be like the juiciest peach, but if someone only eats apples, they're never gonna see that you’re a delicious peach... It's never about you. It's also never about them.” — Lucy BedewiTimestamps: [00:00:05] Warm welcome and where Lucy calls home (Austin, Texas) [00:00:44] What Lucy loves about Austin’s climate, food, and lifestyle [00:01:11] Introducing the theme: seeing rejection as the start of great things [00:01:43] Fired from a remote job after 90 days—emotional impact and realities [00:02:36] Graduating during the pandemic and landing her first “adult” job [00:03:32] Early career expectations, red flags, and entrepreneurial leanings [00:06:13] Taking risks because of a safety net and “Jerry Maguire” moments [00:07:12] Launching a business out of spite and necessity; setting ambitious goals [00:09:32] Why Lucy pushed for three months to hit $5k/month—and how she did it [00:12:20] The second rejection: being cut from a startup and confronting undervaluation [00:15:07] The aftermath—scaling back, self-reflection, and emotional impact [00:16:14] Rebranding gone wrong, returning to personality and authenticity [00:17:55] Launching Unicorn Messaging: helping others become the “unicorn” in their industry [00:18:30] The process of self-discovery and breaking free from the need for approval [00:20:01] The mix of personality, coaching, and support required to bounce back [00:22:54] How to NOT internalize rejection—and practical reframes for moving forward [00:25:01] Comparing “bounce-back” stories; the deeper lessons of later rejection [00:26:18] Embracing letting go, trusting what’s meant for you, and future possibilities [00:27:26] About Lucy’s current business, special quiz offer, and where to follow her [00:28:46] Fun quickfire questions (birthdays, grocery shopping hacks, favorite books) [00:31:05] Closing gratitude and final thoughtsABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: https://www.mywritehandwoman.com and Lucy has a podcast Unicorn Messaging: https://open.spotify.com/show/22xqeOiQGWzrTNaD2NmI03GET LUCY'S SPECIAL OFFER:FREE quiz: What's Your Brand Messaging Superpower?https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/67979624c16f720015e296ad?method=iframeNote from the show: Guest offers are almost always limited-time and limited quantity. If you have any trouble redeeming the offer please

If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportIn this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Jacob Engelsman about redefining family, identity, and lactation support for queer and trans parents. Listeners will gain insights into Jacob’s transformative career change, the importance of specialized resources for marginalized families, and the power of creating community in unconventional spaces. Jacob is Based in Atlanta, GA.Jacob Engelsman is an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, infant care specialist, speaker, and writer. He is the author of Lactation for the Rest of Us: A Guide for Queer and Trans Parents and Helpers, as well as several articles and presentations on lactation support and supporting gender and sexual diversity in healthcare.Main Topics Covered:Making bold career transitions: Jacob’s move from food service to the world of birth work, doula training, and lactation consulting.What it means to be a postpartum doula versus a lactation consultant, and how real-world experience reshapes career paths.The lack of resources for queer, trans, and non-traditional families in lactation, and how Jacob is filling that gap with his book “Lactation for the Rest of Us.”Inducing lactation for non-gestational parents: myths, biology, and practical advice for queer and adoptive families.Navigating gender, belonging, and being “the only guy in the room” in feminine-dominated birth spaces.The importance of representation and referral in inclusive healthcare—ensuring all parents find the right support.Why giving space and resources for marginalized stories matters, and how listeners can be better allies by simply “being nice” and connecting people to what they need.The rise and role of telehealth in postpartum care, especially for underrepresented families.Quote from the Episode:“I think one of the things that's important to stress in conversations like these is that I'm not telling anybody to change their language about anything or to change the way they do anything. I'm asking people to be nice. If you don't feel comfortable working with trans communities, that's fine. Just know somebody that you can refer them to. That's literally the bare minimum.” — Jacob EngelsmanABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: https://jacobengelsmanibclc.com/GET JACOB'S BOOK: Lactation for the Rest of Us https://bookshop.org/a/87491/9781805011910Note from the show: Guest offers are almost always limited-time and limited quantity. If you have any trouble redeeming the offer please reach out directly to the guest for support.Never Miss a Moment of Imperfect AdultingWe invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of the important links mentioned on the show—no more scrambling to write down websites or remember special codes.Why subscribe?Stay up-to-date without checking your podcast appGet guest offers delivered straight to your inboxAccess all important links in one convenient placeCatch the highlights even when you don't have time to listenAre you ready? Join us at https://www.imperfectadulting.comIf you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The Art of Imperfect Adulting, here are the steps for how you can make that happen. Click here and pitch yourself. Here are a few resources that Amy uses to make all this great content. These are affiliate links :-)For livestreaming and recording ECammPodcast hosting and distribution: Captivate FMWebsite hosting with Siteground Ai Transcription Tool: Castmagic For Email I recently switched to Beehiiv before that I used Kit. Online Shopping Cart: ThriveCartNetworking and support with Entreprenista LeagueConnection with Polka Dot PowerhouseBooks I like and books written by show guests on Bookshop.orgGrab a $20 coupon for Nutrafol hereDo you need a bank account? Ally

If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportIn this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Alisha Kapani about the reality of living with and healing from depression. Alisha is based in Calgary, Alberta in Canada. Alisha shares her deeply personal journey through severe depression, suicidal ideation, and her eventual discovery of unconditional joy after years of searching and trying both conventional and unconventional healing modalities. Listeners will hear about the importance of seeking the root cause of mental illness, the power of vulnerability, and how a shift in consciousness led Alisha to her own radically transformed life and a new career.Alisha Kapani is a former Chemical Engineer turned Mindbody Mentor after struggling with severe depression for 5 years. She assists clients all over the world to tap into their body’s wisdom to resolve illness and access their highest possibilities for vitality and abundance.Main Topics Covered:Recognizing the signs and symptoms of depression beyond ordinary sadness.Navigating medical and therapeutic treatment options, including antidepressants and cognitive behavioral therapy.The limitations and challenges of traditional approaches to mental health.Exploring alternative healing modalities: Reiki, hypnosis, acupuncture, and more.Why addressing the emotional root cause is crucial for genuine healing—and how distraction and suppression can impede progress.Transformative impact of finding a mentor and embracing mind-body connection and quantum physics to facilitate rapid recovery.The stigma, vulnerability, and misunderstandings around mental illness—with advice for managing shame, family expectations, and relationships.Alisha’s current work as a mind body mentor, including approaches to raising your vibration and healing at the root.Quote from the Episode: “I think because so many people are managing their illness, whether it's a mental or physical illness, because they think that that is all that's available...I guess I just want people to know that once you get to the root cause, you can heal very quickly. I did heal pretty much right away once I figured out what the root cause was. On the other side of it is more joy than you've ever experienced in your life before.”— Alisha KapaniTimestamps: [00:00:06] Welcome and Alisha’s home base in Calgary, Alberta[00:00:41] Reflecting on learnings from the past year—epiphany around relationships and depression[00:01:49] Trigger warning: depression, self-harm, suicidal ideation[00:02:27] Timeline of Alisha’s depression and age at onset[00:03:49] Working with medical professionals: diagnosis and medication journey[00:06:31] Describing symptoms of depression—fatigue, lack of motivation, impact on relationships[00:08:51] Recognizing depression: misattributing root causes, effect of life transitions[00:10:14] Impact on work performance and relationships; perfectionism and stigma[00:12:55] Relationship dynamics: depression and anxiety in partnerships[00:15:33] Why share your story? Breaking stigma, possibilities for healing, hope for others[00:19:28] Was there hope? The possibility of healing and experiencing greater joy[00:21:05] Sources of support—role of family, friends, and especially stepmom[00:23:44] Treatments tried: medical, therapeutic, and unconventional modalities[00:26:06] Distraction as a coping strategy—work and busy schedules[00:28:26] Surrender and openness: discovering a mentor and holistic healing[00:30:59] How Alisha discovered her mentor and the science behind self-healing[00:33:50] The challenge of understanding others’ experiences with mental health[00:35:16] From engineer to intuitive—embracing spiritual healing[00:36:24] Realizing transformation: unconditional peace and joy[00:39:58] Alisha’s work as a mind body mentor; special offer for listeners[00:41:44] Book recommendation—Love and Respect[00:42:34] Favorite movie snack[00:42:58] Episode wrap-up and gratitudeABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: https://www.alishakapani.com/GET ALISHA'S SPECIAL OFFER: 3 Ways to Raise Your Vibration Fast with Alisha’s Raise Your Vibration Bundle. Value: $100 Redeem at this link: https://alisha-kapani.mykajabi.com/3-ways-to-raise-your-vibration-fastNote from the show: Guest offers are almost al

If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportIn this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Blythe Alpern about choosing self-fulfillment over the pressures of dating and conventional adulthood. Blythe calls Atlanta, Georgia home and listeners will enjoy candid reflections on how Blythe’s decision to stop “finding her person” led to personal growth, renewed focus on her passions, and a powerful reframing of self-worth.Blythe Alpern is a copywriter and podcaster. As the founder of Wordwoman Creative, she helps beauty and lifestyle brands create website, email, and blog post content that makes their audience stop, stay, engage, and buy. As the host of The GenX Experience, which was recently recognized by AARP, she gives latch key kids a place to reminisce and share the joys of navigating midlife as an 80s kid. When she's not podcasting or copywriting, she's taking her dog, Buster, for long walks and working on maintaining her status as the coolest aunt to her nieces and nephew.Main Topics Covered:The emotional toll and fatigue of dating apps: Blythe’s firsthand experiences with ghosting, bad dates, and lackluster connections.The impact of grief and family loss on personal priorities and capacity for relationships.Societal pressure to couple up and the myth of completion through partnership—especially as a Gen X woman.Navigating acceptance: Making peace with not having children and embracing the “cool aunt” role.Strategies for thriving solo—how Blythe channels energy into creative work, friendships, and solo adventures.Anxiety, introversion, and the challenge of doing things alone, from solo travel to coffee shop visits.The value of supportive friendships and reframing singlehood as a choice, not a deficit.Blythe’s work as a copywriter and her podcast “Gen X Experience” as creative outlets and platforms for fellow Gen Xers.Quote from the Episode: "I just got tired. I'm like, why am I putting effort when I'm not getting the effort back? And I deserve better. Every woman deserves better than a man with a picture of a fish." — Blythe AlpernTimestamps: [00:00:05] Amy Stone welcomes Blythe for a role-reversal interview; Blythe calls Atlanta, Georgia home. [00:00:45] Blythe’s creative life, copywriting, and beauty industry work. [00:01:11] Introduction to the pivotal “relationship choice” of 2023. [00:01:46] Blythe recounts dating during perimenopause and the realization triggered by love bombing. [00:02:28] Key turning points—being unsupported during family loss and making a conscious shift away from dating apps. [00:04:11] Memories of app fatigue and “terrible, lazy, lackluster men”; Atlanta’s unique dating frustrations. [00:05:11] Ghosting, rudeness, and security concerns on dating apps. [00:06:29] Expanding beyond the apps—fatigue from singles events and choosing personal growth over dating urgency. [00:08:02] Processing the decision with friends, and recognizing shared pain points among single women. [00:09:28] Feedback and camaraderie from Blythe’s support network. [00:11:13] The freedom and fulfillment of focusing on solo living and creative projects. [00:12:27] Blythe’s personal acceptance around motherhood, reframing her nurturing instincts in new roles. [00:15:23] Generational scripts around adulthood, and how acceptance and visibility among peers eased Blythe’s journey. [00:18:36] Overcoming anxiety and introversion for solo outings and travel; advice for others working through similar hurdles. [00:19:52] Blythe’s copywriting business “Word Woman Creative” and her podcast “Gen X Experience.” [00:21:56] Gen X nostalgia, community, and Blythe’s favorite comedy influencers on social media. [00:26:13] Rapid-fire questions on favorite color, clothing stores, and book recommendations—featuring “The Correspondent.” [00:27:59] Reflection on the lost art of letter writing and maintaining connections as an adult. [00:28:15] Closing gratitude and farewells from Amy Stone and Blythe Alpern.ABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: The GenX Experience Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-gen-x-experience/id1734296691Wordwoman Creative: https://www.wordwomancreative.com/GET BLYTHE'S SPECIAL OFFER: Book a done-for-you website content creation service, and receive a free strategy session to h

If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportIn this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Amy Benjamin about the overlooked realities and challenges of perimenopause and menopause. Amy Benjamin is based in a suburb of Des Moines, Iowa. The audience will learn about common symptoms that are frequently misunderstood, the lack of societal conversation, how Amy turned her struggles into advocacy, and how a renewed focus on humor and science is empowering women to advocate for better care.Amy Benjamin Moore, M.Ed., turned 31 years in education into a menopause revolution. As a GGS-Certified Menopause Coaching Specialist, she built the Menopause Mastery Toolkit app and the Menopause Symptom Tracker app so women could stop suffering in silence and start advocating powerfully for themselves. In her debut book, Hot Flashes & Cold Truths (2026) she tackles menopause with education, humor, and strategies because menopause shouldn’t be whispered about; it should be owned.Main Topics Covered:Recognizing and navigating the symptoms of perimenopause and menopause hidden among everyday stressors and aging.The struggle for medical validation—why so many doctors miss menopause and rely on minimal training.The impact of menopause on work, relationships, and mental health, including overlooked symptoms like brain fog, irritability, and suicidal ideation.Intergenerational silence: why women rarely hear about menopause from their families or communities.The transformation from unaddressed discomfort to becoming an informed and empowered advocate for other women.Social media’s role in connecting women for information and support, plus caution on product-driven “menopause influencers.”Essential tips for self-advocacy in medical settings—how to prepare for doctor visits and what questions to ask.Resources and support: Amy’s survival guide, coaching, and upcoming humorous book on menopause.Timestamps: [00:00:05] Welcome & intro; Amy Benjamin’s Midwest home and outlook on daily joy[00:00:39] Sources of beauty and daily nature rituals—adapting to Iowa winters[00:02:07] Introduction to topic: Amy's “basket of physical and emotional symptoms” and medical journey[00:03:39] Realization of menopause symptoms: joint pain, brain fog, memory issues, and stress in early 40s[00:08:09] Lack of family/societal discussion about menopause—generational silence and missed opportunities[00:13:30] The medical runaround: symptoms dismissed as aging, lack of hormone and menopause conversation[00:14:03] Discovery of frozen shoulder—an overlooked menopause symptom and physician disconnect[00:17:13] Doctors saying “You’re fine”—Amy’s frustration and the systemic lack of menopause education[00:19:17] Minimal training for doctors on menopause; expert commentary[00:22:23] Unexpected weight gain, irritability, impact on relationships and divorce[00:24:28] Suicidal ideation flashes—mental health symptoms leading to help[00:26:01] Extreme bleeding, ablation, still no mention of menopause by doctors[00:28:41] Working in a female-majority environment—absence of conversation and recent shifts[00:30:43] Amy’s motivation to support other women, break the silence, and advocate for her daughters[00:33:01] Certification as a menopause coach—training and UK influence[00:35:03] “Rooms talking about it”—social media, influencers, and connecting online[00:36:18] Caution on menopause influencer marketing vs. genuine medical info[00:38:01] Navigating the challenge of finding supportive medical practitioners—telehealth as a new option[00:40:12] Self-advocacy in medical care; specific strategies, persistence, and moving on when not heard[00:42:12] Resources for listeners: survival guide, symptom tracker, doctor visit checklist[00:44:01] Amy’s upcoming book, use of humor in menopause advocacyABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: https://amybenjaminmoore.com/GET AMY BENJAMIN'S SPECIAL OFFER: Menopause Survival Guide Free on the website.Note from the show: Guest offers are almost always limited-time and limited quantity. If you have any trouble redeeming the offer please reach out directly to the guest for support.If you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The Art of Imperfect Adulting, here are the steps for how you can make t

In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Lori Balue about the journey of sustainable weight loss after 50, holistic functional health, and how embracing adventure can transform life in midlife and beyond. Lori calls Los Angeles home. The audience will learn about the impact of food sensitivities, inflammation, and the difference between dieting and truly changing your life.Lori Balue is a Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner and former obesity survivor who lost 100 pounds naturally in her 50s and has kept it off through low-carb nutrition, metabolic repair, and a movement-forward lifestyle. Now in her 60s, she hikes rim-to-rim across the Grand Canyon, runs half-marathons, and teaches women over 50 how to reverse metabolic dysfunction and reclaim their energy without medications or extreme dieting.Main Topics Covered:Why midlife and post-50 weight loss often requires a fundamentally different approach, especially for womenThe lifelong “diet merry-go-round”: Lori’s story of cravings, diet culture, and not just losing, but keeping off significant weightHow food sensitivities, inflammation, and functional health labs became breakthrough tools in Lori’s transformationReversing asthma, depression, and metabolic blocks by personalizing food choices—not just following trendsMoving beyond “willpower” and working with biology: protein, gut health, and understanding how diet drugs compare to real foodFinding real joy and motivation by embracing movement—hiking, half marathons, and making nature a regular part of lifeThe difference between short-term dieting and creating an adventurous, joyful lifestyle that sustains lifelong healthLori’s work as a Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner and how she supports women in breaking through metabolic blocksQuote from the Episode:"I look in my mirror, see, you know, I've still got, like, a flabby abdomen, and I'm 63, and I was 225 pounds, but I look and I feel slender. I feel slender and confident in my body, and I think that's great... I just started planning another half marathon and I'm going back to the Grand Canyon next September because this is what I love. And it keeps me activated and excited and joyful and happy. And I look forward to it." — Lori Balue 32:43Timestamps:00:08 Amy welcomes Lori and introduces the conversation about adulting, art, and daily beauty00:39 Lori shares her home in the Los Angeles high desert and love of her victory garden03:02 Shifting to the main topic: weight loss after age 5004:24 Lori’s backstory—struggles with childhood/adolescent weight, first diet at age 11–1206:07 A lifetime of diet programs, food cravings, and learning what did (and didn’t) work10:18 The turning point: functional nutrition, discovering keto, and what changed for brain health and joy15:51 Functional lab testing for food sensitivities—and finally reversing long-term asthma and inflammation20:19 Personalized transformation: experimenting, testing, and finally cracking the code22:40 Why profound, lasting change only happened when joy and health—not thinness—became the goals27:05 Commentary on weight loss meds, protein, and food “noise” today29:04 Discovering her adventurous self through movement, hiking, and the Grand Canyon37:45 Lori’s practice: Functional Diagnostic Nutrition, breaking blocks, and helping women reclaim health43:13 Fun closing: flowers, decorating, and the health tech/gadgets Lori now loves48:29 Gratitude and farewellABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.CONNECT WITH THE GUEST:https://loribalue.com/GET LORI'S SPECIAL OFFER: A downloadable recipe guide. Normally $27. Download here: https://contact.loribalue.com/recipebookNote from the show: Guest offers are almost always limited-time and limited quantity. If you have any trouble redeeming the offer please reach out directly to the guest for support. If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportNever Miss a Moment of Imperfect AdultingWe invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of the important links mentioned on the show—no more scrambling to write down websites or remember special codes.Why subscribe?Stay up-

In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Darlene Lekowski about the lifelong impact of sibling sexual trauma and the journey of letting go of secrets that shaped her adult life. Darlene lives in the Charlotte, NC suburbs with her husband, Tom, their dog Pepper, and is the proud mother of three adult children. Listeners will learn how the process of opening up allowed Darlene to move from perfectionism and hypervigilance to forgiveness, healing, and connection.About Darlene Lekowski:Darlene Lekowski is a speaker, author, and advocate who writes and speaks about what happens when high-functioning adults realize that control and perfection aren’t peace—they’re survival strategies. After decades of striving to “hold it all together,” Darlene was forced to confront the emotional cost of living this way and learn, imperfectly, how to let go.Her debut memoir, Shattering Silence: A Story of Survival, Justice & the Power of Telling the Truth (April 2026), chronicles her journey of reclaiming her voice, redefining success, and choosing freedom over fear.Main Topics Covered:The effects of sibling sexual abuse and trauma on childhood and adult relationshipsUnderstanding and coping with PTSD masked by perfectionism, control, and successThe power dynamics and family pressure that keep childhood trauma secret for decadesHow releasing control and secrets changed Darlene’s relationships with her children and spouseNavigating hypervigilance, competitiveness, and the illusion of “good adulting” as survival strategiesThe role of therapy, supportive friendships, and alternative healing methods like EFT tapping in trauma recoveryThe courage to confront abusers, share your story publicly, and reclaim agency—even through the stress and grief of litigationDarlene’s mission to help others break the silence around sibling sexual abuse and start honest conversations with their own childrenQuote from the Episode:"The problem, when you've got a giant secret, the box leaks... I had PTSD all my life, but I actually wasn't diagnosed with it until I was 58 years old. I thought my behaviors were normal." — Darlene LekowskiTimestamps:00:05 Opening & intros; Darlene’s Charlotte, NC home and warmup questions00:34 Proximity to mountains and ocean; Charlotte lifestyle and history fleeing snowy states01:24 Amy’s perspective from the tropics; setting the scene for a conversation on control and secrets02:10 Darlene’s midlife confrontation with trauma; timeline and context of her secret02:47 How her mother’s death and family dynamics led to her secret surfacing03:35 Civil trial details; trauma in court, family structure, and relationships04:08 Childhood abuse between siblings, control issues, and survival mechanisms07:11 Perfectionism, hypervigilance, and adult life before telling the secret09:02 Sports, popularity, and strategies to avoid being alone at home10:19 Parenting as an overprotective mom; shifting relationships after the truth was revealed12:10 Direct fears, coping, and the psychological weight of secrets14:34 How shame and trauma “leak” into all relationships—friends, colleagues, and self-image17:23 Examples of outsize reactions; healing journey and day-to-day changes after releasing the secret19:13 Close friendships, difficulty forming intimacy, and pivotal moments in recovery20:19 Confrontation, PTSD episode with her daughter, and major turning point22:03 Suppressing vs. confronting trauma after her mother’s death; blowup with sibling and lawsuit24:33 Long-term therapy, diagnosis of PTSD, and alternative healing (EFT tapping)27:59 Losing relationships with abusive siblings, family impact, and trial testimony30:29 Thoughts on secrets and privacy; why families keep trauma hidden33:39 The importance of open conversations with children and the prevalence of sibling sexual trauma35:11 Making the trauma public; support from children and transforming fear into connection36:40 Emotional healing after the trial; shedding anger and shame38:29 The ongoing journey of healing and finding purpose in helping others40:41 Publishing her book, Shattering: A Story of Survival, Justice and the Power of Telling the Truth41:24 Darlene’s hope for the book and her outreach mission42:23 Rapid-fire closing questions: morning routine, favorite book (The Women), travel habits44:22 Episode wrap-up and thanksABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own

In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Toni Will, a lifelong resident of Kalamazoo, Michigan about breaking free from alcohol as a coping tool and redefining what sober success looks like.About Toni Will:Toni Will is a leadership coach, speaker, and the General Manager of the Kalamazoo Wings, making her one of the few women leading in men’s professional hockey. She is the host of the Women In… podcast, a TEDx speaker, and the creator of the empowHER conference, dedicated to uplifting women and redefining success in male-dominated spaces. Toni is known for her unapologetic authenticity and her advocacy for alcohol-free living, blending high-performance leadership with personal clarity and conscious living. Her first book will be published in August 2026, further amplifying her mission to help others own their story, challenge the norm, and lead with intention.Main Topics Covered:Choosing sobriety during high-stress times: How COVID-19 lockdowns became an unexpected opportunity for self-work and lasting change.Professional sports & alcohol: Navigating stereotypes, “belly up with the boys” culture, and breaking barriers as the first female GM for the Kalamazoo Wings.The shortcomings of traditional recovery models: Why AA didn’t fit, and how modern, female-inclusive approaches (like This Naked Mind and Sober Sis) empowered Toni’s success.Sober curiosity versus “rock bottom”: Challenging black-and-white thinking and embracing a more inclusive, less stigmatizing language around substance use.Reclaiming time and energy: The practical and emotional benefits of giving up alcohol, from launching new businesses to deeper self-awareness and integrity.Community, belonging, and coping: Rethinking social drinking, friendship, and the unique challenges of rebuilding connections in recovery, as a female leader.Using transformation to help others: How Toni’s coaching, podcast, and upcoming book extend her story to support those reevaluating their relationship with substance.Representation matters: The power of seeing women openly lead in both sports and sobriety spaces.Quote from the Episode: “Whoever said that you had to drink to be a great leader? ...It’s just all these beliefs that are programmed into us and not in a culty way, but just culturally.” — Toni WillTimestamps:00:01 Introduction to Toni Will and the topic of choosing new coping skills02:07 Toni shares where she calls home and her approach to incorporating beauty into daily life04:02 The timeline of Toni’s sobriety journey and previous attempts to quit drinking05:51 Life before sobriety: career stress, family dynamics, and making the decision during COVID lockdowns08:56 Alcohol as a coping tool, early experiences with drinking, and societal influences12:53 Going public with her decision to quit drinking and gaining support from her husband and community13:38 The realities of leading a men’s professional hockey team as a woman, and the cultural context of sports and drinking15:38 Physical and emotional consequences of drinking, and challenging the concept of “rock bottom”18:23 Support systems, stigma, and balancing leadership with living alcohol-free20:33 The process of finding alternative recovery resources like "This Naked Mind" and Sober Sis24:00 Representation, leadership models, and the value of learning from empowering women28:21 The role of core values in lasting change and the influence on personal and professional life31:10 Coping skills, processing grief, and the complexity of friendship and belonging after transformation33:13 Toni’s entrepreneurial journey: launching a coaching business, podcast, conference, and writing a book35:21 Fun wrap-up: sober drink choices, mentors, and in-flight entertainment preferences38:45 Final thoughts, ways to connect, and community resources for listenersABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: https://www.toniwill.com/ You can find her podcast Women In … https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-in/id1745524618Note from the show: Guest offers are almost always limited-time and limited quantity. If you have any trouble redeeming the offer please reach out directly to the guest for support.If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportNever Miss a Moment of Imperfect AdultingWe invite