The Art and Science of Difficult Conversations

In this insightful interview, Gift Tshuma shares practical strategies for inclusive leadership, effective advocacy, and navigating difficult conversations in the workplace. Discover how to approach accessibility issues, support marginalized employees, and foster a more inclusive environment. Key topics: Inclusive leadership strategies Advocacy and storytelling, Handling difficult workplace conversations Role of HR in diversity and inclusion Mediation and escalation processes Guest Gift Tshuma (He/Him) Advocacy Specialist, March of Dimes Canada Co-Executive Director, Blurring the Boundaries — an organization creating accessible digital instruments for people with disabilities (UK & Canada) Co-Founder, Tshuma Consulting — accessibility assessments, training, and strategic consulting EDI Officer, The Centre for Sustainable Practice in the Arts Musician & Artist — R&B/Gospel singer, co-founder of United Tribulation Choir, trained in classical and jazz vocals, mentored by Oliver Jones Originally from Zimbabwe, based in Canada 35+ years of lived experience and 17+ years of leadership in accessibility & inclusion LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/gift-tshuma Connect with the Hosts Email – [email protected] Chris – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for Leaders Lucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment

Episode Overview In this powerful Part 1 conversation, hosts Chris Wong and Lucie Tesarova sit down with Gift Tshuma — disability rights advocate, accessibility specialist, musician, and co-founder of Tshuma Consulting — to explore what advocacy really means, why storytelling is its foundation, and how to navigate the difficult conversations that come with pushing for inclusion in organizations and systems that weren't designed for everyone. Guest Gift Tshuma (He/Him) Advocacy Specialist, March of Dimes Canada Co-Executive Director, Blurring the Boundaries — an organization creating accessible digital instruments for people with disabilities (UK & Canada) Co-Founder, Tshuma Consulting — accessibility assessments, training, and strategic consulting EDI Officer, The Centre for Sustainable Practice in the Arts Musician & Artist — R&B/Gospel singer, co-founder of United Tribulation Choir, trained in classical and jazz vocals, mentored by Oliver Jones Originally from Zimbabwe, based in Canada 35+ years of lived experience and 17+ years of leadership in accessibility & inclusion LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/gift-tshuma Key Topics Discussed Advocacy as storytelling and influence Overcoming fear and internal barriers Strategic influence and systemic change Notable Quotes "Access isn't something that you just give. It's not served on a silver platter. You have to fight for it. And you have to sometimes build it yourself." "Advocacy isn't charity work. It's not about being a hero. It's about shifting the power and building disability literacy." "When you are not telling your story, you are robbing someone for their life to be changed." "I'm not arguing about ramps or software. I'm arguing about whose time matters, whose comfort level matters, whose productivity is treated as a default." "We are community-based beings that need support from everyone. Don't be ashamed to ask for help." This Week's Challenge Pick one thing you've been wanting to advocate for. Be it at work, in your community, or in your personal life, and practice telling that story to someone you trust. Start in a low-stakes environment, just like Gift did. Get comfortable with your story before you bring it to the room that needs to hear it. Connect with the Hosts Email – [email protected] Chris – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for Leaders Lucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment Next Episode Preview Coming Next Week: Part 2 of our conversation with Gift Tshuma — including role play scenarios that bring these advocacy conversations to life. Remember: When you communicate better, you live better.

Summary:  In part 2 of their conversation, Chris, Lucie, and Travis walk through practical strategies for having difficult conversations, asking effective questions, and improving communication in leadership. They also role play a performance conversation to show how asking questions and remaining curious can lead to powerful insights.  In this episode, learn how to:  Ask questions instead of making assumptions to understand others better.  Use silence intentionally to give space for processing during conversations.  Frame questions to avoid defensiveness, especially with sensitive topics.  Prepare for difficult conversations by scheduling positive activities afterward.  Practice curiosity and ask 'what' and 'how' questions to explore motivations.     About Travis: Travis Dalrymple is a leadership advisor, author of How To Suck As A Leader, and the founder of The Leadership Lab—a program that helps small business owners and team leads stop managing people and start actually leading them. From placing 3rd on America’s Got Talent to leading high-performing teams in the business world, Travis blends entertainment, strategy, and real-life leadership lessons to help people become the kind of leader others actually want to follow—not just tolerate. He’s coached over 1000 entrepreneurs, fixed broken cultures, and taught teams how to lead themselves first, without the corporate jargon or BS. When he’s not coaching or speaking, you’ll find him golfing, hanging out with his family, or turning hard truths into Instagram reels.    You can find him on IG @travdalrymple and you can grab your copy of How To Suck As A Leader at https://bit.ly/HowToSuckAsALeader.  How to Suck as a Leader (Book) - https://a.co/d/09hOMoHQ Travis Dalrymple on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/travisdalrymple    Connect with us: Email – [email protected] – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment

Summary: This week, join Lucie and Chris as they interview Travis Dalrymple, a leadership coach and former entertainer, who shares his unconventional journey through various careers.  He wrote a fun leadership book “How to Suck As a Leader” and shares his insights on leadership, communication, and culture, and practical strategies for difficult conversations and creating a positive organizational environment. He talks us through: -          Why leaders tend to over-complicate things -          Most organizational cultures are unintentional and reflect the personality of the leader. -          How to get better at identifying your blind spots. -          How to communicate more clearly -          How to prepare for hard conversations   About Travis: Travis Dalrymple is a leadership advisor, author of How To Suck As A Leader, and the founder of The Leadership Lab—a program that helps small business owners and team leads stop managing people and start actually leading them. From placing 3rd on America’s Got Talent to leading high-performing teams in the business world, Travis blends entertainment, strategy, and real-life leadership lessons to help people become the kind of leader others actually want to follow—not just tolerate. He’s coached over 1000 entrepreneurs, fixed broken cultures, and taught teams how to lead themselves first, without the corporate jargon or BS. When he’s not coaching or speaking, you’ll find him golfing, hanging out with his family, or turning hard truths into Instagram reels.    You can find him on IG @travdalrymple and you can grab your copy of How To Suck As A Leader at https://bit.ly/HowToSuckAsALeader.  How to Suck as a Leader (Book) - https://a.co/d/09hOMoHQ Travis Dalrymple on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/travisdalrymple  Connect with us: Email – [email protected] – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment

In part 2 of their interview with Roberta Dombrowski, Chris and Lucie pick her brain on how to deal with the guilt trips and the reality that sometimes these conversations happen over and over again – often pushing your boundaries.  Roberta was so nice to role play with us and Chris and Lucie had SO MUCH FUN channeling their own moms to really see how to better handle these conversations.  Listen as they talk about:  -          How to deliver difficult news to your parents -          Techniques for boundary setting and maintaining peace -          Handling family pushback and guilt tripping -          Grounding and embodiment practices for presence -          Expect and accept emotional reactions as part of the process. -          Revisiting conversations over time helps in acceptance.     About Roberta Roberta Dombrowski is a dynamic coach, consultant and mindfulness teacher dedicated to helping leaders thrive from the inside out. She has over a decade of experience spanning tech, non-profits, and academia. Her work has been featured by the Association of Talent Development, Learning Guild, and Product School. She holds PCC accreditation through the International Coaching Federation, CPCC through Co-Active Training Institute. Her unique approach blends the wisdom of the head, heart, and body - guiding clients to rediscover joy, resilience, and connection in their work and lives.  By fostering deeper self-awareness and authentic leadership, Roberta helps individuals reshape how they relate to their careers, themselves, and their teams. Her personal experience as a transracial adoptee and over functioning tech executive heavily influences her approach to business.  Resources Roberta’s In Her Words Podcast - https://www.learnmindfully.co/in-her-words Roberta’s Website - https://learnmindfully.co Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (Book) - https://a.co/d/06JpDwi4 (we’re not affiliates and have no connection to this book or author) Connect with us: Email – [email protected] – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment

Summary: In this week’s episode, Chris and Lucie get the privilege to interview Roberta Dombrowski, a coach who helps leaders function at their best.  She’s also experienced in setting boundaries, both at work and in her personal life.  she shares her journey from burnout to coaching, focusing on reclaiming confidence, setting boundaries, and improving communication in personal and professional relationships. In part 1 of their interview, learn why it’s so hard to set boundaries and what it takes to confidently step into them. Key Takeaways  Boundaries are for yourself, not others.  Family boundaries often meet resistance but are essential.  Self-awareness and coaching help navigate complex family dynamics.  Patterns from childhood influence adult boundary-setting.  Revisiting difficult conversations multiple times leads to understanding.   Follow Roberta LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robertadombrowski Website - https://www.robertadombrowski.com In Her Words podcast - https://www.learnmindfully.co/in-her-words   Connect with us: Email – [email protected] – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment

Rachel Platt shares practical strategies for addressing disrespectful behavior, giving effective feedback, and fostering respectful workplace environments. This episode covers handling difficult conversations, timing feedback, and maintaining emotional regulation.   Connect with Rachel: [email protected] https://calendly.com/plattinumconsulting/intro-networking  https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelplatt/  www.PLATTinumconsulting.com About Rachel:  Rachel Platt brings 20+ years of experience helping organizations and individuals achieve enduring success through strategic human resources leadership. Through her roles as a Chief Human Resources Officer, Vice President, and Regional Director in diverse organizational structures and industries, she built her reputation on her track record of developing pragmatic solutions to meet complex organizational and people challenges. Rachel founded PLATTinum Consulting in 2018 to guide leaders in creating People Strategy initiatives in the areas of employee engagement, leadership development, culture assessment and improvement, performance management, staff training, communications, talent acquisition, HR process improvement, inclusion and coaching.  As a certified Women's Business Enterprise (WBE), PLATTinum serves small and medium sized non-profits and commercial businesses across the US. PLATTinum partners with clients to maintain a transparent, ongoing, open dialogue. We provide a data-driven, responsive, organized approach.  But most importantly, we are proactive, optimistic, approachable and occasionally funny. We place outcomes before egos and work with clients who share similar values.    Connect with us: Email – [email protected] – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment

In this conversation, Chris Wong and Lucie Tesarova engage with Rachel Platt, a people strategist, to explore the dynamics of difficult conversations in the workplace. They discuss the importance of addressing disrespectful behavior, the role of leaders in fostering a respectful culture, and the balance between achieving results and maintaining a positive work environment.   Rachel shares insights on navigating difficult conversations, identifying signs of disrespect, and modeling appropriate leadership behavior. The discussion emphasizes the need for curiosity, understanding, and proactive communication in creating a healthy workplace culture.   Takeaways: Rachel Platt helps organizations move past HR as paperwork. A people strategist focuses on aligning people strategy with business strategy. Curiosity is key in addressing difficult conversations. Disrespectful behavior often gets minimized in organizations. Leaders must recognize the impact of their silence on culture. High performers can create a different set of rules in the workplace. Addressing disrespect early can prevent larger issues. Intent matters, but the impact of words is more significant. Leaders should set clear expectations for respectful behavior. Creating a culture of respect enhances employee engagement and retention.\  Connect with Rachel: [email protected] https://calendly.com/plattinumconsulting/intro-networking  https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelplatt/  www.PLATTinumconsulting.com About Rachel:  Rachel Platt brings 20+ years of experience helping organizations and individuals achieve enduring success through strategic human resources leadership. Through her roles as a Chief Human Resources Officer, Vice President, and Regional Director in diverse organizational structures and industries, she built her reputation on her track record of developing pragmatic solutions to meet complex organizational and people challenges. Rachel founded PLATTinum Consulting in 2018 to guide leaders in creating People Strategy initiatives in the areas of employee engagement, leadership development, culture assessment and improvement, performance management, staff training, communications, talent acquisition, HR process improvement, inclusion and coaching.  As a certified Women's Business Enterprise (WBE), PLATTinum serves small and medium sized non-profits and commercial businesses across the US. PLATTinum partners with clients to maintain a transparent, ongoing, open dialogue. We provide a data-driven, responsive, organized approach.  But most importantly, we are proactive, optimistic, approachable and occasionally funny. We place outcomes before egos and work with clients who share similar values.  Chapters   00:00 Introduction to the Conversation 00:57 The Journey into HR and People Strategy 04:51 Navigating Difficult Conversations 12:42 Identifying Disrespectful Behavior in the Workplace 16:51 Balancing Results and Respect in Leadership 20:00 The Impact of Communication on Workplace Culture 23:58 Self-Reflection and Understanding Triggers 27:39 Understanding Intent vs. Impact 29:23 The Leader's Responsibility in Addressing Disrespect Connect with us: Email – [email protected] – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment

How do you tell someone they are not performing at the level you expect or need them to, without crushing them or demotivating them, and instead making them feel supported and motivated to improve?  Hear how Peter Vinge does it in the different performance feedback roleplays with Chris Wong and Lucie Tesarova.  Missed part 1 of this conversation on performance discussions? Check out part 1 here.  takeaways Performance conversations can be approached without discomfort. Role-playing scenarios can help practice feedback delivery. Empathy is crucial in leadership and team dynamics. Leaders should focus on facts rather than emotions during feedback. Creating a safe environment encourages open communication. Empowering team members leads to better performance outcomes. Self-leadership is essential for effective management. Understanding individual challenges can improve team dynamics. Clear expectations help align team goals and performance. Building rapport is key to successful leadership. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Performance Conversations 00:06 Role-Playing Difficult Conversations 07:15 Empathy in Leadership 15:25 Building Empathy and Understanding in Leadership 19:31 The Importance of Self-Leadership   About Peter Vinge Peter Vinge is the founder of TORBAY Consulting and a leadership advisor focused on helping leaders have clear, confident, and productive conversations. He works with executives and teams to strengthen accountability, alignment, and culture by addressing challenges head-on. www.TORBAYConsulting.com  https://www.linkedin.com/company/torbayconsulting  Connect with us: Email – [email protected] – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment

In this conversation, Chris Wong and Lucie Tesarova engage with HR consultant Peter Vinge to explore the complexities of performance conversations in leadership. They discuss the importance of clear communication, the distinction between kindness and niceness, and the necessity of addressing performance issues promptly. Vinge shares insights on how to prepare for feedback sessions, manage emotions, and navigate sensitive situations, including those involving protected classes. The discussion also covers the effective use of Performance Improvement Plans (PIPs) and the significance of building trust within teams. Takeaways Performance conversations can be approached without discomfort. Kindness creates clarity, while niceness avoids discomfort. Address performance issues immediately to maintain trust. Document patterns of behavior for effective feedback. Prepare data and facts before performance conversations. Emotions should be set aside during feedback discussions. Transparency builds trust in difficult conversations. PIPs should not be a surprise to employees. Clear expectations are essential for performance improvement. Empowering teams leads to better performance outcomes. About Peter Vinge Peter Vinge is the founder of TORBAY Consulting and a leadership advisor focused on helping leaders have clear, confident, and productive conversations. He works with executives and teams to strengthen accountability, alignment, and culture by addressing challenges head-on. www.TORBAYConsulting.com  https://www.linkedin.com/company/torbayconsulting  Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Performance Conversations01:53 The Journey into HR05:02 Understanding Performance Feedback08:01 Identifying Performance Issues11:00 The Importance of Documentation13:56 Preparing for Performance Feedback16:47 Managing Emotions in Feedback19:48 Navigating Sensitive Conversations23:09 The Role of Performance Improvement Plans (PIPs)30:41 Navigating Performance Improvement Plans (PIPs)34:51 Role-Playing Difficult Conversations34:52 Introduction to Performance Conversations   Connect with us: Email – [email protected] – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessme  

In the 2nd part of their interview with Kristina, Chris and Lucie explore the importance of fostering a culture of productive disagreement within teams. Kristina shares strategies for transforming meeting dynamics, encouraging open dialogue, and the value of contrarian perspectives.  She shares her advice on how to encourage people to speak up and she even goes through a role play in which she shows how a leader might handle someone pushing back on their idea.  Takeaways -        Creating a culture of productive disagreement is essential for team growth. -        Asking the right questions can foster open dialogue. -        Encouraging team members to find contrarian perspectives can lead to better decision-making. -        Learning from criticism can provide valuable insights for improvement.  About Kristina Joy Carlson Kristina Joy Carlson is a sought-after speaker and best-selling author of Essential Principles for Fundraising Success, and the soon-to-be released, Outrageous Kindness: A Mindset. A Method. A Movement, Kristina knows how to navigate change and turn challenges into opportunities. While leading businesses and driving global philanthropic growth, she managed nearly a decade of intense caregiving, profound grief, and her own cancer battle—an experience that reinforced the power of purpose, perspective, and action. Kristina has helped maximize the philanthropic engagement of former US Presidents and other heads of state, Fortune 500 CEOs, Forbes 400 individuals, faith leaders, celebrities, and everyday people. Today, as founder and CEO of Outrageous Kindness, she is applying that wisdom to create a movement that inspires leaders, philanthropists, and individuals to take bold, high-impact action, embrace accountability, and experience the magic of small acts that create big results. Learn more about her: Her website Get her book, Outrageous Kindness: Amazon Square Books   Connect with us: Email – [email protected] – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment 

This week, Chris Wong and Lucie Tesarova talk with Kristina Joy Carlson, founder and author of "Outrageous Kindness."  There’s lots of talk around the idea of psychological safety.  And one way that plays out in real life is a culture where open disagreement is not only accepted but encouraged. Kristina talks about how a culture of fear can stifle communication and innovation. She advocates for a mindset of generosity and constructive feedback, which is essential for personal and organizational growth.  She highlights the detrimental effects of a 'yes-man' culture, where assumptions replace data-driven decision-making. Takeaways -        If you want your teams to be good at communicating, you have to model that. -        A culture of assumptions can cost organizations tremendous potential, money, and more -        You have to commit to learning and hearing different perspectives. -        How to interpret team silence  About Kristina Joy Carlson Kristina Joy Carlson is a sought-after speaker and best-selling author of Essential Principles for Fundraising Success, and the soon-to-be released, Outrageous Kindness: A Mindset. A Method. A Movement, Kristina knows how to navigate change and turn challenges into opportunities. While leading businesses and driving global philanthropic growth, she managed nearly a decade of intense caregiving, profound grief, and her own cancer battle—an experience that reinforced the power of purpose, perspective, and action.   Through her executive leadership roles at Carter Global, Ketchum, and FundraisingINFO.com, Kristina guided transformational capital campaigns, raising billions of dollars around the globe while also creating bespoke training programs, and developing innovative technologies for some of the world’s largest nonprofit organizations including Habitat for Humanity International, World Vision International, Susan Komen and others. She has also helped maximize the philanthropic engagement of former US Presidents and other heads of state, Fortune 500 CEOs, Forbes 400 individuals, faith leaders, celebrities, and everyday people. Today, as founder and CEO of Outrageous Kindness, she is applying that wisdom to create a movement that inspires leaders, philanthropists, and individuals to take bold, high-impact action, embrace accountability, and experience the magic of small acts that create big results. Connect with us: Email – [email protected] – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment 

In part 2 of their conversation, Chris, Lucie, and Julian discuss the complexities of leadership and organizational design, emphasizing the importance of understanding resistance and fostering accountability. Like many things in life, organizational design is an ongoing process that requires regular assessment and adaptation. Julian encourages leaders to engage all levels of their organization in the design process to create a culture of collaboration and effectiveness, otherwise, it’s destined to fail.  Other big things we learn today:  -        Organizational design is a continuous process, not a one-time event. -        Resistance is better than apathy.  Resistance indicates engagement and concern -        Accountability is crucial for successful organizational change. -        Regular assessments of organizational structure are essential for effectiveness. -        The design of an organization should reflect its strategy and promise. -        Hierarchy is not inherently negative; it can provide necessary structure. -        Engagement from all levels of an organization is vital for successful design. About Julian Julian is the founder of 11A Collaborative, a social impact consulting firm dedicated to creating healthy society through healthy organizations. 11A supports purpose-driven businesses, nonprofits, foundations, public offices, and government agencies seeking to increase their impact by translating strategy into action through organization alignment. This means defining and refining strategy, designing the organization that will achieve the north star goals, and then stewarding the change to get there.   Connect with Julian 11A Collaborative – www.11acollaborative.com Connect with him on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/julianchender/   Connect with us: Email – [email protected] – https://www.myleadershippotential.com | www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc | download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.mindfittery.com | www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment 

This week, Chris and Lucie had the pleasure of chatting with Julian Chender, an expert in organizational design, to explore the difficulties of communication and structure within organizations.  Julian shared his journey in organizational design, emphasizing the need for strategic alignment and the human elements that influence organizational behavior.   Most importantly, he talked about how silos aren’t a 4-letter word, but leaders make common mistakes in managing change and fostering collaboration across silos. Big Takeaways -        Organizational design is about setting the container in which an organization operates. -        Silos are necessary structures that support organizational goals. -        integration across silos is crucial for effective strategy execution. -        Silos should be designed with 'doors' to facilitate collaboration. -        Understanding the strategic purpose of silos can enhance organizational effectiveness.  About Julian Julian is the founder of 11A Collaborative, a social impact consulting firm dedicated to creating healthy society through healthy organizations. 11A supports purpose-driven businesses, nonprofits, foundations, public offices, and government agencies seeking to increase their impact by translating strategy into action through organization alignment. This means defining and refining strategy, designing the organization that will achieve the north star goals, and then stewarding the change to get there. Over his career, Julian has consulted to purpose-driven organizations across sectors, from the Fortune 10 to nonprofits in education, arts, and public health, from intergovernmental European agencies to New York City public offices. He is a Certified Organization Design Practitioner and an ICF-Certified Coach who holds a master’s degree in Organization Development from American University and a B.A. in History from Swarthmore College. In 2020, he received the Emerging Practitioner Award from the Organization Development Network (ODN). He has served on the Board of Trustees of ODN and currently sits on the Board of Advisors for the Organization Design Forum.  Connect with us: Email – [email protected] – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc and download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment 

What does leading with emotional intelligence look like in practice? That’s what we’re exploring in today’s special compilation of The Art & Science of Difficult Conversations. You’ll hear highlights from four episodes: – Dr. Rick Fearnbaugh on growing as an emotionally intelligent leader, – Kelly Meerbott on creating psychological safety, – Chris Wong on helping your team take ownership and accountability, – and Dr. Summer Miller on handling layoffs in a compassionate and ethical way. Connect with us:Email – [email protected] – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc and download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment 

Episode Description: In this special compilation episode of The Art & Science of Difficult Conversations, we’re taking a break from work conversations and turning toward the relationships that matter most outside of work. You’ll hear three powerful clips on what it means to communicate honestly in love – with yourself, with a long-term partner, and in modern dating. Together, these conversations explore how to be more “you” in relationships, navigate conflict with care, and set boundaries that protect your energy and your heart. We revisit: Grace Gavin on open and honest communication, and six key practices that can transform the way you show up with the people you love. Heather Garbutt, psychotherapist and love & relationship coach, on navigating triggers, red flags, and tough conversations in committed partnerships – and how intentional dialogue can deepen connection instead of breaking it. Whitney Kobrin, dating and relationship expert, on modern dating, setting intentions, boundaries, and how emotional regulation and self-soothing can help you date with more confidence and self-respect. As you listen, notice this question: Where am I not bringing my honest self into the relationships that matter to me – and what might change if I did? In this episode, you’ll learn: Why open and honest communication is essential in close relationships Six practical practices to help you communicate more clearly and courageously How to recognize triggers and red flags in romantic relationships Ways to have intentional, deeper conversations in committed partnerships How dating has changed in recent years – and what that means for you How to set intentions and boundaries before and during dating Simple ideas for navigating first dates with less anxiety and more ease How self-soothing and emotional regulation support healthier choices in love Guests featured in this compilation Grace Gavin – Communication expert and co-founder of Know Honesty, helping leaders simplify their communication and close divides inside organizations. Heather Garbutt – Psychotherapist and love & relationship coach, supporting people in healing past hurts and creating healthier, more supportive partnerships. Whitney Kobrin – Dating and relationship expert, guiding people to date with intention, confidence, and clear boundaries. If you enjoyed this episode Share it with a friend who’s navigating a big relationship conversation Leave a rating or review to help others find the show Connect with Lucie and Chris for coaching, workshops, or speaking on difficult conversations and emotional fitness Connect with us:Email – [email protected] – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc and download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment 

Say the Hard Thing: Courageous Conversations Under Pressure Most difficult conversations don’t fail because we don’t know what to say. They fail because fear shows up, emotions escalate, or we lose clarity under pressure. In this compilation episode of The Art & Science of Difficult Conversations, we bring together three powerful conversations that walk you through the full arc of a hard conversation — from finding the courage to speak up, to staying grounded when emotions rise, to navigating real-world leadership pushback. You’ll hear: What courage really looks like in communication Why waiting to feel “ready” often keeps us silent — and how to speak even when fear is present. How to respond when someone becomes defensive or angry Practical tools for de-escalation, emotional regulation, and keeping the conversation productive instead of reactive. A real-life leadership roleplay: handling pushback from a team member How to balance empathy and accountability when you still need results — without escalating conflict or damaging trust. This episode is for you if: You avoid hard conversations longer than you want to admit You freeze or over-explain when emotions run high You’re a leader navigating resistance, pushback, or difficult dynamics You want to communicate clearly without losing yourself or the relationship Difficult conversations don’t require perfection — they require presence, courage, and practice. This episode gives you all three.   Connect with us:Email – [email protected] – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc and download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment 

How do you give feedback that actually builds a high-performing team? That’s the theme of our compilation episode today. In the first segment, you’ll hear a roleplay where one of our previous guests, Jevon Gondwe, gives performance feedback to Chris. In the next segment, Chris and I break down five practical steps you can use to give feedback that’s clear, honest, and supportive.   Connect with Jevon:https://www.influentialskills.com/ [email protected] https://www.linkedin.com/in/jevon-gondwe/  Connect with us:Email – [email protected] – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc and download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for LeadersLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova and take the Saboteur Assessment 

In part 2 of their conversation with Laurel Engbretson, Chris and Lucie are joined by Sara Firestein.  This is especially fun because Sara reports directly to Laurel and together, the four of them discuss not only the process of giving feedback to your boss, but how to receive feedback too! They explore the importance of building trust and psychological safety, the role of feedback culture, and the impact of empathy in communication. The discussion highlights personal experiences and strategies for giving and receiving feedback, emphasizing the need for openness and collaboration in fostering effective team dynamics. Takeaways -        Feedback should be balanced with positive reinforcement. -        Specific examples help clarify feedback. -        Trust enhances team dynamics and collaboration. -        Leaders should invite feedback to disrupt power dynamics.   About Laurel: Laurel Engbretson is the national Vice President of Strategy & Operations at LISC. In this role she leads LISC’s Strategy & Operations team to facilitate strategy development and drive operational excellence toward LISC’s enterprise-level priorities. Laurel started at LISC as a Program Officer in the Bay Area, where she lived for 30 years before moving to the East Coast to join LISC’s national office. Before LISC, Laurel worked at the San Francisco Housing Accelerator Fund, JPMorgan Chase, the Oakland Mayor’s office, and in residential real estate. She has an MBA/MPP from Mills College and a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Santa Cruz.   About Sara: Sara Feierstein is a nonprofit strategy and operations specialist. Her work experience and education have focused on using data to drive impact in the nonprofit industry. She has spent the last several years working in the Community Development sector where she has been implementing strategies to help her organization align internal operations with programmatic goals. Sara has a Master in Business Administration from NYU’s Stern School of Business where she specialized in Business Analytics and Nonprofit Strategy. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in Economics from New York University. Follow Laurel: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurelengbretson/ Follow Sara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sara-feierstein-22878066/   Connect with us:  Chris - LinkedIn / Newsletter and download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for Leaders Lucie - LinkedIn  / Saboteur Assessment 

This week, Chris and Lucie interview Laurel Engbretson, a VP of strategy and operations, discussing the complexities of difficult conversations in leadership. Together, they explore Laurel's journey and her journey to building the courage to give feedback to her own manager. Laurel is a big advocate in the role of trust and the gradual process of building confidence in difficult conversations.  Together, they talk about: -        Building trust is crucial for giving and receiving feedback. -        Finding your voice takes time and practice. -        Trust is built over time and through shared experiences. -        Assuming positive intent can improve difficult conversations. -        Personal growth can enhance professional effectiveness.   About Laurel Laurel Engbretson is the national Vice President of Strategy & Operations at LISC. In this role she leads LISC’s Strategy & Operations team to facilitate strategy development and drive operational excellence toward LISC’s enterprise-level priorities. Laurel started at LISC as a Program Officer in the Bay Area, where she lived for 30 years before moving to the East Coast to join LISC’s national office. Before LISC, Laurel worked at the San Francisco Housing Accelerator Fund, JPMorgan Chase, the Oakland Mayor’s office, and in residential real estate. She has an MBA/MPP from Mills College and a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Santa Cruz.  Connect with us:  Chris - LinkedIn / Newsletter and download the Difficult Conversation Playbook for Leaders Lucie - LinkedIn  / Saboteur Assessment   

In part 2 of their conversation, Chris and Lucie dive even deeper into the intricacies of networking with Jack Pittas, discussing essential strategies for building connections, the importance of tracking contacts, and the effectiveness of elevator pitches. They even persuade Jack to role play how to approach two different people at networking events. Takeaways  Networking is about building relationships, not closing sales.  Old-fashioned business cards are still relevant.  Elevator pitches should be conversational, not scripted.  Rejection is part of the networking process; learn from it.  Online networking can be as effective as in-person events.  Always be curious and ask questions to engage others. About Jack: Jack is a partner at Ace Business Development, which offers fractional sales, networking, and business development services to help small businesses build their pipeline and GovCons break into the government market. Jack and the Ace team use a "boots-on-the-ground" approach and their vast connections to build relationships on behalf of their clients to ultimately drive revenue opportunities.    Jack is also owner of PK Cyber Solutions which offers specialized content-writing on technical subjects including B2B tech, cybersecurity, and GovCon. Since 2020, Jack has generated a majority of his business via networking and building quality relationships.    Connect with Jack: Email: [email protected] Website: https://www.acebusinessdev.com   Connect with us:  Chris - LinkedIn / Newsletter  Lucie - LinkedIn  / Saboteur Assessment 

This week, Chris and Lucie talk about the art and science of networking with expert Jack Pittas. They explore the importance of networking for professionals, especially for introverts, and provide practical tips on how to approach networking events, build relationships, and follow up effectively. Jack shares his insights on treating networking like a party, the significance of quality over quantity in relationships, and the long-term benefits of nurturing connections. Takeaways  Networking is essential for solopreneurs and small business owners.  Networking can help you find referral sources, not just clients.  Realize that you’re not alone, networking is hard for everyone  Treat networking events like parties to ease the pressure.  Follow up within one to two days after meeting someone.  Focus on quality relationships over quantity. About Jack: Jack is a partner at Ace Business Development, which offers fractional sales, networking, and business development services to help small businesses build their pipeline and GovCons break into the government market. Jack and the Ace team use a "boots-on-the-ground" approach and their vast connections to build relationships on behalf of their clients to ultimately drive revenue opportunities.   Jack is also owner of PK Cyber Solutions which offers specialized content-writing on technical subjects including B2B tech, cybersecurity, and GovCon. Since 2020, Jack has generated a majority of his business via networking and building quality relationships.  Connect with us:  Chris - LinkedIn / Newsletter / Courses Lucie - LinkedIn  / Saboteur Assessment 

What's the difference when a leader has healthy boundaries vs when they don't? Join us for the second part of our interview with Angela Barnes, where we will roleplay and discuss the complexities of setting boundaries in leadership roles, particularly within the nonprofit sector. We explore the challenges of people-pleasing tendencies, the importance of having a strategic plan, and the role of professional development in establishing effective boundaries. Through role-playing scenarios, we illustrate how to navigate difficult conversations and highlight the need for accountability and clarity in leadership. Missed the first part of the interview? Check it out here.  Key Takeaways: Boundaries are essential for effective leadership and personal well-being. People-pleasing can hinder decision-making and boundary setting. Role-playing scenarios can prepare leaders for difficult conversations. Having a strategic plan helps in managing expectations and responsibilities. Professional development is crucial for understanding and setting boundaries. Accountability is key in leadership; avoid blaming others for failures. Clear communication about goals and resources is necessary for success. Boundaries help regulate emotions and prevent burnout. Engaging with professional communities can provide support and guidance. Setting boundaries is an ongoing process that requires commitment and practice.   Contact Angela:  http://www.adbstrategies.com/  LinkedIn Connect with us:  Chris - LinkedIn / Newsletter / Courses Lucie - LinkedIn  / Saboteur Assessment   

Episode Overview In this insightful episode, hosts Chris Wong and Lucie Tesarova welcome Angela Barnes, MBA, CFRE, to explore one of the most challenging aspects of workplace communication: setting and maintaining boundaries. Angela brings over a decade of fundraising expertise and shares hard-won lessons about navigating boundaries in nonprofit organizations. Guest Angela D Barnes, MBA, CFRE Principal of ADB Strategy Specializes in working with nonprofits with operating budgets between $250K-$1M Provides development workshops, digital workbooks, and strategic consulting services Key Topics Discussed The Nonprofit Boundary Challenge Corporate vs. Nonprofit Dynamics: Angela explains how boundary expectations differ dramatically between for-profit and nonprofit sectors Board Structure Complications: Why nonprofit board members often have more visibility and direct access to staff than their corporate counterparts The Training Gap: How lack of proper board onboarding contributes to boundary violations The Seven Areas of Boundaries Angela introduces her holistic framework for understanding boundaries across seven key life areas and explains why we often fail to bring our personal boundaries into the workplace. Common Boundary Mistakes Waiting for the "perfect" verbal boundary: Boundaries can be set through behavior, posture, and simple communications (like email signatures) Setting boundaries in anger: Reacting emotionally instead of proactively communicating expectations Expecting mind-reading: Assuming others should know your boundaries without clear communication Staying in whine mode: Complaining repeatedly without taking action to change Kind vs. Nice: A Critical Distinction Nice = Sympathy: Over-accommodating, making exceptions, avoiding accountability Kind = Empathy: Understanding someone's situation while still maintaining standards and expectations The Late Employee Example: How Angela addressed chronic lateness with kindness but persistence, getting results after five years of others being "nice" Emergency Boundaries When boundaries aren't set proactively, you're forced into "emergency boundary" mode, which turns into crisis communications and difficult conversations. Key Takeaways ✅ Start with organizational boundaries: Understand what boundaries exist (or don't exist) in your workplace before setting personal ones ✅ Communicate boundaries proactively: Don't wait until you're frustrated or angry to express your limits ✅ Boundaries don't require confrontation: Simple changes like email signatures can set expectations without drama ✅ Whining signals readiness (or unreadiness): If you're complaining repeatedly without action, ask yourself if you're truly ready to change ✅ Own your destiny: Your boundaries and the enforcement of them are your responsibility, not other people's Contact Angela:  http://www.adbstrategies.com/  LinkedIn Connect with us:  Chris - LinkedIn / Newsletter / Courses Lucie - LinkedIn  / Saboteur Assessment   

Want a guide to follow while listening? Or notes for future reference? Download the free Power Dynamics Playbook here.  Ever freeze in a meeting when the stakes are high? This episode demystifies power dynamics. We talk about what they are, how they hijack your nervous system, and exactly what to say when you need to push back, manage up, lead from the middle, or invite real feedback as a leader. You’ll learn the six types of power (beyond “positional”), why the same words land differently depending on who says them, and practical, word-for-word moves you can use today (yes-and framing, power-leveling questions, structural safety, and more).   Who it’s for ICs & new managers who need to speak up to senior leaders Leaders who suspect they’re not getting the real story Peers navigating conflict without formal authority What you’ll learn The 6 power types: positional, expert, relational, resource, informational, and cultural/identity How power triggers fight/flight/freeze/fawn—and how to keep your prefrontal cortex online Why “impact over intent” defuses defensiveness and creates traction Concrete scripts: managing up, managing down, and managing across Key Takeaways Power isn’t the problem; invisible power is. Name it to tame it. Scripts that calm defenses beat “bravery speeches.” Try: “I love where this is headed and I want to flag one implementation risk.” Questions that level the field: “What would need to be true for this to work?” “How does this fit the priority we set last week?” Leaders: Don’t trust your gut on psychological safety—design for it (rotate facilitation, invite the quiet, respond to anonymous signals). For peers: Stop competing for the same power—trade it on purpose. Resources Mentioned Book: Willful Blindness by Margaret Heffernan  Free “Be Free” Saboteur Assessment (find your survival-brain patterns): https://mindfittery.com/befree  Lucie's LinkedIn Chris’s newsletter + connect with him on LinkedIn too and check out his online courses Episodes on cultural/identity dynamics (see channel playlist)

Summary:  In part 2 of their conversation, Matt Brown shares his insights on building credibility and trust within teams, overcoming skepticism in leadership roles, and navigating board dynamics. He emphasizes the importance of humility, active listening, and the willingness to learn from others. Matt discusses the responsibilities of leadership, particularly in maintaining the integrity of an organization while fostering growth.   Key Takeaways -        It's tough to gain credibility, but humility helps. -        Creating a learning environment is essential for team dynamics. -        Overcoming skepticism requires demonstrating value through action. -        Respecting and valuing each team member's expertise is crucial. -        Building trust takes time and consistent effort. -        Acknowledging others' contributions can build trust -        Mistakes in leadership can be learning opportunities.   About Matt Matt joined OARS as Executive Director in 2024. Prior to OARS, he was Chief Operating Officer at Lowell House, Inc., an addiction treatment non-profit serving Merrimack Valley. Matt served on the Randolph Conservation Commission and Community Preservation Committee before moving to Westford, MA. He served on the Westford Affordable Housing Committee and coached youth baseball and basketball in Westford. Matt holds an MS in Non-Profit Management from Worcester State University and an MA in English from Clark University.   Contact Matt Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matthew-brown-0b9b21145/ Check out OARS: https://oars3rivers.org/      Interested in the difficult conversations course? Check it out here: https://www.myleadershippotential.com/trust Want to learn what kind of mind traps are sabotaging your communication and relationships with others? Go to https://www.mindfittery.com/befree to learn more.  Contact Chris: [email protected] Contact Lucie: [email protected] or https://www.mindfittery.com      

In this episode, Chris Wong and Lucie Tesarova interview Matt Brown, an Executive Director of a Watershed nonprofit, to discuss the intricacies of difficult conversations in leadership. They explore Matt's journey in the nonprofit sector, the challenges of navigating resistance from employees and board members, and the importance of understanding motivations behind resistance. Matt shares personal stories of hard lessons he’s learned over the years.   Takeaways -        Practicing difficult conversations can lead to better outcomes. -        Understanding motivations behind resistance makes a huge difference -        Building trust requires open and honest communication.   About Matt Matt joined OARS (Organization for the Assabet, Sudbury, and Concord Rivers) as Executive Director in 2024. Prior to OARS, he was Chief Operating Officer at Lowell House, Inc., an addiction treatment non-profit serving Merrimack Valley. Matt served on the Randolph Conservation Commission and Community Preservation Committee before moving to Westford, MA. He served on the Westford Affordable Housing Committee and coached youth baseball and basketball in Westford. Matt holds an MS in Non-Profit Management from Worcester State University and an MA in English from Clark University.   Interested in the difficult conversations course? Check it out here: https://www.myleadershippotential.com/trust Want to learn what kind of mind traps are sabotaging your communication and relationships with others? Go to https://www.mindfittery.com/befree to learn more.  Contact Chris: [email protected] Contact Lucie: [email protected] or www.mindfittery.com  

What does it take to build an international community? In part 2 of the conversation with Tasha Van Vlack, Chris and Lucie explore the intricacies of building and maintaining community within organizations, especially as they grow. Tasha shares her insights on navigating cultural differences in community engagement, emphasizing the importance of connection and flexibility. They also discuss the transition from management to leadership, highlighting the need for emotional intelligence, vulnerability, and the ability to celebrate team wins. Tasha's experiences provide valuable lessons for leaders looking to foster a sense of belonging and engagement in their teams.  Takeaways -        Maintaining connection in a growing community requires intentionality. -        Cultural differences can impact engagement and communication. -        Flexibility in participation is crucial for community members. -        Celebrating team wins boosts morale and fosters connection. -        Emotional intelligence is essential for effective leadership. -        Vulnerability helps leaders connect with their teams. -        Listening to community members is key to understanding their needs. -        Consistency in communication builds trust and engagement. -        Leaders should focus on visibility and value for their team members. -        Community is an organic ecosystem that requires shared control. About Tasha  Tasha Van Vlack is a community-builder disguised as a marketer. With a background in nonprofit engagement, digital strategy, and making things happen with tiny teams, she’s the founder of The Nonprofit Hive—a global nonprofit peer-connection platform—and the brains behind Community Hives, which helps organizations spark one-on-one conversations that actually go somewhere. Right now, she’s diving headfirst into scaling relational tech and dreaming up what’s next for human-first connection tools. When she’s not matchmaking nonprofit pros or geeking out on systems change, you’ll find her hiking with her kids, reading a good fiction book, or talking community like it’s a love language.  Contact Tasha: Email: [email protected] Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tasha-van-vlack/ Join the Nonprofit Hive: www.thenonprofithive.com   Interested in the difficult conversations course? Check it out here: https://www.myleadershippotential.com/trust Want to learn what kind of mind traps are sabotaging your communication and relationships with others? Go to https://www.mindfittery.com/befree to learn more.  Contact Chris: [email protected] Contact Lucie: [email protected] or www.mindfittery.com    

How do you get the confidence to build something in public  In part 1, Chris Wong and Lucie Tesarova interview Tasha Van Vlack, the founder of the Nonprofit Hive, discussing the challenges and triumphs of building an international community. Tasha shares her journey of personal growth, the importance of vulnerability in leadership, and the necessity of transparency in fostering a supportive environment. The discussion highlights the evolution of community building, especially in the wake of COVID-19, and emphasizes the significance of peer-led learning and emotional intelligence in leadership roles.   What were our big takeaways? -        Building confidence is essential for creating international communities. -        Community building has become increasingly important post-COVID. -        Personal growth often accompanies the journey of community leadership. -        Vulnerability in leadership fosters trust and connection. -        Transparency helps in managing community expectations and feedback. -        Real connections are more valuable than perfect presentations. -        Embracing imperfection can lead to more authentic community engagement.   About Tasha  Tasha Van Vlack is a community-builder disguised as a marketer. With a background in nonprofit engagement, digital strategy, and making things happen with tiny teams, she’s the founder of The Nonprofit Hive—a global nonprofit peer-connection platform—and the brains behind Community Hives, which helps organizations spark one-on-one conversations that actually go somewhere. Right now, she’s diving headfirst into scaling relational tech and dreaming up what’s next for human-first connection tools. When she’s not matchmaking nonprofit pros or geeking out on systems change, you’ll find her hiking with her kids, reading a good fiction book, or talking community like it’s a love language.  Contact Tasha: Email: [email protected] Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tasha-van-vlack/   Contact Chris: [email protected] Contact Lucie: https://www.mindfittery.com/site/contact 

Join us for the second part of our conversation with Jevon Gondwe, who is a Leadership Transformation Architect and the founder of Influential Skills Company.  If you haven't heard the first part of our conversation on how to create high performing teams, or as Jevon says "Culture of Champions", make sure to listen it here.  Key Takeaways: Building a team requires clear communication and accountability. Role-playing can help illustrate effective conversation techniques. Creating a culture of candor is essential for team success. Leaders should set expectations early in the relationship. Feedback should be specific and objective to be effective. Personal growth is crucial for leaders to support their teams. Mistakes should be viewed as learning opportunities, not failures. Leaders must be aware of their team's challenges and pressures. Open dialogue can prevent misunderstandings and disengagement. Building trust takes time and consistent effort. About Jevon:Jevon Gondwe is a dynamic Leadership Transformation Architect and the founder of Influential Skills. His leadership insights have been featured in major media companies like Inc. Magazine and Training Industry, Inc. Through Jevon’s proprietary leadership framework Building a Culture of Champions is preparing team leaders for the new economy. Fighting against corporate disengagement, high turnover, and average work environments, Jevon is transforming leaders into catalysts for growth by helping them develop the mindset for personal growth, while building the crucial communication and relationship building skills to connect, inspire, and lead a championship team. His unique approach to leadership communication is forged from over 15 years of hands on experience, and the invaluable lessons from 3 college National Championships under two of the NCAA's winningest coaches of all time. This background instilled a mindset of excellence, humility, and servant leadership, which Jevon has shared to inspire over 30,000 professionals. His core offerings focus on the intersection of interpersonal skills, leadership, and team building, helping leaders boost engagement, retention, and performance, even through their most challenging team dynamics. Jevon doesn't teach theory, he's applied these proven methods across diverse industries. A proud husband and father, Jevon embraces his unique Malawian-American heritage to connect with diverse audiences and firmly believes success comes from consistently adding value to others, a philosophy he champions for all leaders. Connect with Jevon:https://www.influentialskills.com/ [email protected] https://www.linkedin.com/in/jevon-gondwe/  Connect with us:Email – [email protected] – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhcLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova

How do you build High-Performing Teams? What kind of skills and factors are essential for effective leadership? Join us for a conversation with Jevon Gondwe to hear his personal anecdotes and insights that highlight the transformative power of leadership in both personal and professional contexts. Takeaways: Effective communication enhances overall quality of life. Leadership has a ripple effect on individuals and teams. Servant leadership focuses on maximizing others' potential. Creating psychological safety is crucial for team growth. Personal growth is essential for effective leadership. Listening actively can bring out the best in others. Vision should inspire and engage team members. Real conversations are necessary for alignment and growth. Fear often prevents difficult conversations from happening. Leaders should empower individuals to take ownership of their roles. Chapters00:00 Building High-Performing Teams01:25 The Ripple Effect of Leadership05:04 Understanding Servant Leadership10:23 Essential Skills for Effective Leadership16:46 Aligning Team and Individual Visions21:00 Creating a Vision for Your Team24:00 Overcoming Fear in Difficult Conversations27:21 Personal Growth as a Leader About Jevon: Jevon Gondwe is a dynamic Leadership Transformation Architect and the founder of Influential Skills. His leadership insights have been featured in major media companies like Inc. Magazine and Training Industry, Inc. Through Jevon’s proprietary leadership framework Building a Culture of Champions is preparing team leaders for the new economy. Fighting against corporate disengagement, high turnover, and average work environments, Jevon is transforming leaders into catalysts for growth by helping them develop the mindset for personal growth, while building the crucial communication and relationship building skills to connect, inspire, and lead a championship team. His unique approach to leadership communication is forged from over 15 years of hands on experience, and the invaluable lessons from 3 college National Championships under two of the NCAA's winningest coaches of all time. This background instilled a mindset of excellence, humility, and servant leadership, which Jevon has shared to inspire over 30,000 professionals. His core offerings focus on the intersection of interpersonal skills, leadership, and team building, helping leaders boost engagement, retention, and performance, even through their most challenging team dynamics. Jevon doesn't teach theory, he's applied these proven methods across diverse industries. A proud husband and father, Jevon embraces his unique Malawian-American heritage to connect with diverse audiences and firmly believes success comes from consistently adding value to others, a philosophy he champions for all leaders. Connect with Jevon: https://www.influentialskills.com/ [email protected] https://www.linkedin.com/in/jevon-gondwe/  Connect with us: Email – [email protected] Chris – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc Lucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova   

How can you turn a crisis into an opportunity and rebuild trust? Join us for another episode of the Art & Science of Difficult Conversations, where we had a conversation with Scott Harvey, who has 20 years of experience in law enforcement as a Hostage Negotiator. This is part 2 of the episode, where we role-play a difficult conversation that many leaders face - talking with an employee who "survived" a wave of layoffs and is now demotivated, anxious, resentful, and scared about the future. How do you have that conversation? Tune in to find out. About Scott: With 20 years of experience in law enforcement as a Hostage Negotiator and over 18 years as a business owner, Scott Harvey has a deep understanding of what drives success. His career has included roles as a sergeant supervising officers, teaching thousands of D.A.R.E. classes, and delivering keynote speeches to hundreds of thousands of people. Scott's extensive experience has refined his ability to impart leadership skills, which he shares on dozens of stages each year. In 2023, Scott distilled his decades of communication expertise into his book, Silence Kills, which has already sold thousands of copies. As a business coach, Scott engages directly with entrepreneurs and leaders, challenging them to grow their businesses while maintaining balance in their personal lives and health. His unique style of personalized motivation continues to make a significant impact both on and off stage. Scott’s wife of over 27 years and their two grown daughters keep him grounded and inspired, providing real-life insights as he navigates the roles of husband, father, and entrepreneur. Contact Scott Harvey: https://speakingofharvey.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/speakerscottharvey/ https://www.facebook.com/speakerscottharvey  https://www.youtube.com/@SpeakingOfHarvey https://www.instagram.com/speakingofharvey     Contact us: Email – [email protected] Chris – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc Lucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova 

How can you turn a crisis into an opportunity and rebuild trust?  Join us for another episode of the Art & Science of Difficult Conversations, where we had a conversation with Scott Harvey, who has 20 years of experience in law enforcement as a Hostage Negotiator.    Key takeaways:  Crisis can be an opportunity to rebuild trust. Prevention is key in communication to avoid crises. Silence in leadership can communicate apathy. Building rapport is essential for effective communication. The service recovery paradox shows that resolving issues can enhance satisfaction. Emotions can hinder logical thinking during conversations. Calming techniques can help manage anxiety before difficult conversations. Anticipation of difficult conversations is often worse than the reality. Collaborative problem-solving leads to better outcomes. Open communication fosters a positive organizational culture. And don't miss part two of this interview that goes live next week, where we roleplay some difficult scenarios for you!  About Scott:  With 20 years of experience in law enforcement as a Hostage Negotiator and over18 years as a business owner, Scott Harvey has a deep understanding of whatdrives success. His career has included roles as a sergeant supervising officers,teaching thousands of D.A.R.E. classes, and delivering keynote speeches tohundreds of thousands of people. Scott's extensive experience has refined hisability to impart leadership skills, which he shares on dozens of stages each year.In 2023, Scott distilled his decades of communication expertise into his book,Silence Kills, which has already sold thousands of copies. As a business coach, Scott engages directly with entrepreneurs and leaders,challenging them to grow their businesses while maintaining balance in theirpersonal lives and health. His unique style of personalized motivation continues tomake a significant impact both on and off stage. Scott’s wife of over 27 years and their two grown daughters keep him groundedand inspired, providing real-life insights as he navigates the roles of husband,father, and entrepreneur.  Contact Scott Harvey:  https://speakingofharvey.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/speakerscottharvey/  https://www.facebook.com/speakerscottharvey  https://www.youtube.com/@SpeakingOfHarvey  https://www.instagram.com/speakingofharvey  Contact us: Email – [email protected] – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhcLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova  

Is it possible to talk about race and social justice in a productive way? Listen to our interview with Hilary Giovale to find out the answer to that question and more! We discuss the challenges with having these conversations, how vulnerability plays a role in sharing our personal stories, and how white individuals can confront their guilt and engage in difficult conversations about their heritage and responsibility. Agree? Disagree? Have a story to share? Let us know! About Hilary: Hilary Giovale is a mother, writer, community organizer, and facilitator who lives on Hopi, Diné, Apache, and Havasupai land in Flagstaff, Arizona. A ninth-generation American settler, she is descended from Celtic, Germanic, Nordic, and Indigenous peoples of Ancient Europe. Hilary seeks to follow Indigenous and Black leadership in support of human rights, environmental justice, and equitable futures. As an active reparationist, her work is guided by intuition, love, and relationships. She divests from whiteness and bridges divides with truth, healing, apology, and forgiveness. She is the author of Becoming a Good Relative: Calling White Settlers toward Truth, Healing, and Repair. Learn more about her work at goodrelative.com. Check out Hilary's Guide to Making a Personal Reparations Plan. The book Hilary mentioned is: My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Healing our Hearts and Bodies, by Resmaa Menakem. This page has some links to independent booksellers who carry Hilary's book. All the proceeds from book sales go to Decolonizing Wealth Project and Jubilee Justice. https://www.goodrelative.com/book Contact us: Email – [email protected] – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhcLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova

Is it possible to talk about race and social justice in a productive way? Listen to our interview with Hilary Giovale to find out the answer to that question and more! We discuss the challenges with having these conversations, how vulnerability plays a role in sharing our personal stories, and how white individuals can confront their guilt and engage in difficult conversations about their heritage and responsibility.  Agree? Disagree? Have a story to share? Let us know!  About Hilary:  Hilary Giovale is a mother, writer, community organizer, and facilitator who lives on Hopi, Diné, Apache, and Havasupai land in Flagstaff, Arizona.  A ninth-generation American settler, she is descended from Celtic, Germanic, Nordic, and Indigenous peoples of Ancient Europe.  Hilary seeks to follow Indigenous and Black leadership in support of human rights, environmental justice, and equitable futures.  As an active reparationist, her work is guided by intuition, love, and relationships.  She divests from whiteness and bridges divides with truth, healing, apology, and forgiveness.  She is the author of Becoming a Good Relative: Calling White Settlers toward Truth, Healing, and Repair.  Learn more about her work at goodrelative.com. Check out Hilary's Guide to Making a Personal Reparations Plan. The book Hilary mentioned is: My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Healing our Hearts and Bodies, by Resmaa Menakem. This page has some links to independent booksellers who carry Hilary's book.  All the proceeds from book sales go to Decolonizing Wealth Project and Jubilee Justice. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Difficult Conversations 03:30 Identity Transformation and Community Reactions 05:39 Engaging with Indigenous Communities 08:00 The Shift from Old to New Identity 11:00 Guilt and the Legacy of Colonialism 12:54 Navigating White Guilt in Conversations 15:33 The Power of Personal Storytelling 19:13 Vulnerability and Protection in Sharing Stories 22:39 Reconnecting with Ancestry and Identity 23:40 The Historical Context of Whiteness 29:02 Navigating Conversations with Conservative Family Members 29:48 Personal Reparations and Community Healing     Contact us:Email – [email protected] – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhcLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova  

Welcome to Season 3! Chris and Lucie are back with a whole new season, but we’re starting things off simple since Lucie’s tied up! In this episode, Chris delves into the importance of nonverbal communication and simplifies it, since it’s so misunderstood.  He talks about:  Why is it so important?  The 3 biggest misconceptions/myths about body language/nonverbal communication  The 1 simple thing to be aware of that can make a big difference What do you think? Contact us:Email – [email protected] – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhcLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova

NOTES:   One more week of rest!  In this week's compilation, we re-visit episodes on how to talk about politics, money issues, and marriage issues.   Season 3 starts next week!   Contact us:Email – [email protected] – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhcLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova

SHOW NOTES: More rest month!  In this week’s compilation episode, feedback is on the menu – specifically, how do you give feedback that sticks?  Chris and Lucie discuss five key elements that contribute to successful feedback and demonstrate how it could play out when an underperforming employee asks for a promotion they don’t qualify for. Takeaways  Effective feedback requires a structured approach.  Understanding employee motivations is crucial for feedback.  Specificity in feedback helps eliminate misunderstandings.  Coaching should accompany feedback for better outcomes.  Accountability structures are essential for follow-up.  Feedback should be seen as a supportive tool, not a punishment.  Managing emotions during feedback is key to effective communication.  Regular check-ins can help maintain accountability and progress. Contact us: Email – [email protected] Chris – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc Lucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova   

Trigger Warning: Suicide, Sexual AbuseIf you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help:USA: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – call or text 988Canada: Call 1-1-833-456-4566 toll-free, anytime – or text 45645 between 4 pm and midnight EST.International Support info https://www.iasp.info/suicidalthoughts/ In this compilation episode, we are talking about a very difficult topic for many - suicide. Often, we avoid talking about it with someone else because of shame, or when someone mentions suicidal thoughts, we might want to cheer them up or change the topic. This compilation episode will equip you with practical, compassionate guidance on how to recognize when someone is in distress and how to have the conversations that could make all the difference. You will also hear Paula's story of grief, guilt, and healing that might give you understanding, compassion, and perhaps even your own healing. Thank you for your courage to have these difficult conversations and for caring. Email – [email protected] Chris – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhc Lucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova 

“The greatest danger in times of turbulence is not the turbulence itself, but to act with yesterday's logic.” – Peter Drucker Welcome to this special compilation episode of The Art & Science of Difficult Conversations, where we explore the emotional, strategic, and human side of leading through change. This episode brings together powerful insights from five episodes across Season 2 to support you in navigating difficult transitions—whether you’re leading others through uncertainty or trying to find steady ground yourself. You’ll hear from leaders, coaches, and professionals on: Transitioning from military to civilian leadership and the deep lessons in self-leadership and autonomy (with Rick Fearnbaugh) Navigating communication challenges and energy depletion in the digital era (with Purdeep Sangha) Turning your own layoff into a launching pad for purpose (with Kelly Meerbott) How to support team members who resist change—especially with new technology (strategy episode with Lucie & Chris) How to deliver layoff messages with dignity, compassion, and clarity (with Summer Miller) Throughout this episode, we invite you to pause, reflect, and ask:What insight can I take from this to lead myself or others through change with more clarity, empathy, and courage? Need Support? Navigating change isn’t easy. If you want help applying these tools or having your next difficult conversation, reach out to Lucie or Chris — contact info is below. We’re here to help. Contact Lucie  If you’re interested in learning more about Lucie’s programs, visit her at www.mindfittery.com or email her at [email protected]  Contact Chris If you’re interested in learning more about Chris’ live difficult conversation course this September, email him at [email protected]   

Can you believe we are at the end of Season 2 of the Art & Science of the Difficult Conversations Podcast? What a journey it has been! We have had many amazing guests and episodes on different difficult topics to talk about, both in our personal and professional lives.  Today we focused on sharing the highlights from 6 different episodes, that had something in common - they all touched on how to set boundaries, and what to do in these situations when some spoken or unspoken boundary has been crossed.  This compilation includes:  Episode 1: How to Confidently Set Boundaries with Becky Upchurch Boundary-setting and people-pleasing. Importance of authenticity and showing up as one's true self. Practical strategies for saying "no" without guilt or extensive explanation. How to start with small steps in boundary-setting. Episode 2: How to Overcome Self-Doubt and Trust Your Instincts with Emily Aarons Personal anecdote of setting boundaries within personal relationships and family expectations. Recognizing self-imposed limitations and setting boundaries with self-doubt.  Episode 3: Navigating Modern Dating with Whitney Kobrin   Setting boundaries and recognizing emotional manipulation in dating. Importance of identifying one's own needs clearly. Authenticity in relationships and clearly communicating boundaries early on.   Episode 4: How to Talk to Your Partner About Their Unhealthy Eating Navigating sensitive conversations by setting respectful boundaries. Balancing care and concern without overstepping personal boundaries. Clear communication to maintain relational trust. Episode 5: Navigating Conflict – Healthy Communication Strategies with Heather Garbutt   Techniques for maintaining healthy emotional boundaries during conflict. How to communicate clearly without defensiveness.   Episode 6: How to Handle a Peer Stealing Credit for Your Work   Practical strategies for addressing boundary violations professionally. How to assertively communicate without aggression or guilt. Importance of boundary clarity in maintaining professional respect.      

Summary:  In this episode, Chris and Lucie do their annual round up and reflect on season 2 of their podcast.  They discuss listener engagement, popular episodes, and personal insights gained from their conversations. Chris and Lucie also talk about how the guests have consistently highlighted the importance of difficult conversations in leadership and the impact of emotional intelligence. Towards the end, they share what to expect in season 3! Takeaways: -        The podcast has seen significant growth in listeners and downloads, more than they expected. -        Emotional intelligence is a popular topic among listeners -        Listeners appreciate actionable advice and real-life examples. Contact Lucie  If you’re interested in learning more about Lucie’s programs, visit her at www.mindfittery.com or email her at [email protected]  Contact Chris If you’re interested in learning more about Chris’ live difficult conversation course this September, email him at [email protected] 

What are the hard conversations business owners are avoiding?  This week, Chris and Lucie interview Nicky Billou, a bestselling author and entrepreneur, to talk about the hard conversations most business owners aren’t having – and what happens when they don’t.   Nicky shares his passion for entrepreneurship and shares a story of a business partnership that didn’t work out and how it resulted in the loss of a friendship.  He also shares about running a business with a romantic partner and a new way to thinking about sales. This week, we cover:  Difficult conversations can lead to better business outcomes if handled properly.  Maintaining boundaries in personal and business relationships is crucial.  Partnerships should be based on clear expectations and mutual respect.  Sales should be reframed as an act of service rather than a transaction.  Self-belief is vital for success and everyone needs someone to believe in them.  Sometimes difficult conversations won’t have a positive outcome. Nicky is the author of the books: Finish Line Thinking™: How to Think and Win Like a Champion, The Thought Leader’s Journey: A Fable of Life, and The Power Of Connecting: How To Activate Profitable Relationships By Serving Your Network. A two-time New York Times bestselling author, he is an in-demand and highly inspirational speaker to corporate audiences such as RBC, Lululemon, Royal LePage, and TorStar Media. He is an advisor and confidante to some of the most successful and dynamic entrepreneurs in Canada. He is the founder of eCircle Academy (www.eCircleAcademy.com) where he runs a yearlong Mastermind & Educational program working with Coaches, Consultants, Corporate Trainers, Clinic Owners, Realtors, Mortgage Brokers and other service-based Entrepreneurs, positioning them as authorities in their niche.  He also hosts the #1 podcast in the world on Thought Leadership, The Thought Leader Revolution. Connect with Nicky here: Website: https://www.ecircleacademy.com/appointment The Thought Leader Revolution Podcast: www.TheThoughtLeaderRevolution.com Connect with us:  Email – [email protected] – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhcLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova

In this week’s episode, Chris flies solo without Lucie and interviews Heather Garbutt to discuss the intricacies of difficult conversations in relationships. They explore the importance of trust, commitment, and self-awareness, as well as the skills necessary for effective communication. The conversation delves into recognizing red flags, understanding triggers, and the significance of intentional discussions to navigate conflicts. Heather shares:   Communication is key to fostering deeper connections  What it means to be mutually intentional in relationships  How to better identify and understand your triggers  A simple date night template can help maintain connection and address issues Who is Heather? A world-renowned Psychotherapist and Coach specialising in Love and Relationships, Heather Garbutt brings swift and effective change to people struggling in their romantic life. Her hybrid model, blending coaching, psychotherapy, visioning and inner child work, provides deep and permanent results for her clients. She shines a light on the challenges and solutions to healthy relating, how to heal past hurts, and gives powerful tools to transform unhelpful thoughts, emotions and behaviours to create a richer and happier love life. Heather is on a mission to improve the quality of love relationships worldwide with the goal of empowering 10 million people to create true, loving, mutually supportive partnerships.  Contact Heather: Podcast: Revolutionise Your Love Life - https://heathergarbutt.com/podcast/breakup-brain/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joyinlifeandheart LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heather-garbutt-44a62b22/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heather.garbutt.77/ Website: Www.heathergarbutt.com Email: [email protected]     Connect with us:  Email – [email protected] – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhcLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova

In this episode, Chris and Lucie talk with Jannine MacKinnon, a certified sex, love, and relationship coach, to explore the complexities of difficult conversations surrounding sex. They talk about the societal taboos that hinder open communication about sex and the challenges faced in long-term relationships. Jannine’s approach emphasizes the importance of creating safe spaces for dialogue, understanding the impact of pornography, and fostering self-love and body positivity.  She also provides practical advice for parents on discussing sexuality with their children and highlights the significance of connection over solely physical pleasure.  We cover:   Sex is a taboo topic that needs to be addressed.  Long-term relationships can face challenges with intimacy.  Societal expectations can create feelings of inadequacy.  Starting conversations about sex outside the bedroom is key.  Pornography can negatively impact relationships and self-image.  Using straightforward language about sex can help ease discomfort.  Sacred sexuality focuses on connection rather than just physical acts.  Parents should engage in open discussions about sexuality with their children.  Creating a safe space for conversations fosters deeper connections. Connect with Jannine: Jannine MacKinnon is a Certified Sex, Love, and Relationship Coach and host of the Unapologetic with Jannine MacKinnon podcast. Known for her grounded, real-talk approach to sacred sexuality, she helps women navigate intimacy, embodiment, and the hard conversations that lead to deeper connection and confidence.  Want to reconnect with your sensuality? Start with Jannine’s free Honey Pot Meditation: https://JannineMacKinnon.com/honey-pot Craving real talk on sex, feminine power, and sensual embodiment? Listen to Unapologetic with Jannine MacKinnon https://JannineMacKinnon.com/podcast Discover Jannine’s offers and deeper work at https://JannineMacKinnon.com  Email: [email protected] Instagram: @Jannine.MacKinnon  Connect with us:  Email – [email protected] – www.linkedin.com/in/chriswonglmhcLucie – www.linkedin.com/in/lucietesarova