TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke finds out that 200-pound tumors are actually kind of boring, Ann Powers from the LA Times tells us that Simon Cowell has changed how we think about pop music, and Canada's second oldest magazine has to change it's name because of internet pervs.

Jen wants you to know that she does not forgive Mark McGwire, Avatar- related depression? Shut It Down America! And 50 Cent performed on autoharp. Seriously. That actually happens on today's show.

Sean reports on his reality show tryout, Vanessa checks in with a new diet craze that involves crawling around on all fours in Manhattan, and Luke gets a listener tip that might snag him a replacement iPhone (for the one he stupidly lost after 4 days of having it.)

Luke has a new favorite thing in the entire world (involving 200-pound tumors), Jen finds out something disturbing in Alabama, plus, JayLeno: Dooshy Doosh.

Tom Tangney wonders if Michael Cera does, in fact, have a rich inner life, and Luke weighs in on how Alvin and The Chipmunks The Squeakquel is retarding american children.

Luke's run-in with the karaoke dj has him wondering if he was being kinda racist, Jen's time in the south has her eating 'European Style' and Sean pads his resume in advance of his reality show tryout this weekend.

On today's show, Luke makes an emergency call to LA to tell Van about his amazing plan for the cat, plus TBTL hands out it's second-ever 'Waste of Skin' award. Who will the lucky winner be?

On today's show, Luke's mortifying run-in with the hotel staff has him swearing out a fatwa on Empire Waist dresses, plus, real actual audiotape of Luke being hypnotized in order to kick his fast food habit.

A bomb scare has Luke wondering about his shady neighbor in the window across the street. Plus, Andy Haynes!

You asked for it, in fact, you demanded it and I'm happy to report that after searching for the ultimate small town experience, Jen has surfaced, in, of all places, Mississippi. She'll join us today to fill us in on how her trip's been going.

On today's show, Terror In The Sky! Plus, Luke wants to be a badass but gets served by an 8 year-old kid when walking down the streets of Manhattan.

TBTL Christmas Special

Listener Gerald with an update on his battle to keep from going blind at 38, Luke's review of 'Up in The Air', and what's the obsession with 'Jersey Shore" all about?

Luke thinks the LA hotel bed might be the first step in the death of his love life, plus R.I.P. Brittany Murphy, and what does it feel like to go blind in your 30's? Listener Gerald tells us.

A first hand report on what it's like to win the Lotto, from listener "Millionaire Steve"

Luke tells of nearly passing out on stage during the nutcracker, Sean tells of nearly having a heart attack during TBTL, and some commercials so bad, they'll put you in a coma.

Luke finds a new machine that will fix all his relationship problems, plus Ballet advice from PNB's Kent Stowell, and Chris Brown officially loses his mind.

Telekinesis!

Eugene Mirman checks in from Copenhagen, Luke battles through sickness to do the show (even though he's terrible at battling through sickness), and Houston creates something even more historic than The Geto Boys (Luke didn't think that could be done).

On today's show, Luke and Sean share some deep, dark musical secrets, ticket are officially on sale for TBTL in NYC January 26th, and What's The Worst Movie You Can Rent This Weekend? Beastmaster 2, Portal Through Time!

TBTL debuts its new Climate Change Series: 'Scientifically Speaking, How Effed Is Mother Earth?', while Luke and Sean hatch a plan to break Sean into hollywood (by which they mean, Vern Fonk insurance commercials).

Luke dishes on how his motivational speech went and makes a big announcement regarding TBTL Live in NYC (a.k.a. Get Motivated Park Slope!).

Luke decides to do the show live from his car as he drives to Portland, with mixed results.

Disaster nearly strikes at the Austin Listener Meetup (Jen's got a full report), plus Luke's profile of an 88 year-old guy in Hawaii who's single-handedly trying to ID all the unidentified Pearl Harbor casualties, and Mike Pesca! on what really makes a film into a blockbuster.

The triumphant return of Cooking W/ Sean De Tore, plus Shut it Down America! re: All The Damn Sexting, and Luke is swept up by love and rage at the sight of Phoenix playing on a tour bus.

Luke casts battles the demons that live inside a bag of Cougar Mountain cookies, Jen goes to an Austin honey-tonk and learns she has a special gift, and listener Chris in NYC tries to piece together the events of a drunken night with the assistance of the TBTL Vmail box.

AfghaniTen Ben checks in from Kandahar Afghanistan to give us the local reaction to President Obama's plan for yet another surge, plus live music from Fences! DO NOT miss this episode. It's one of the good ones.

Luke heroically hosts the show despite his 'plumbing problems' (both literal and figurative), Alec Baldwin gets a TBTL pep-talk, and Swe- Ten Peder teaches us all how to say 'Ah Hell No' in his native tongue (very useful for when you're @ the Ikea by the way)

Karma catches up with Luke over all the poop stories & audio he's played over the years, but Luke has a surprise for karma. Plus, Jen's report from the Lyle Lovett show and fancy Thanksgiving in TX.

Jason dished on his family's bizarre Turkey Day hobo/ dress-up traditions, Luke frets about the 30 or so people he has to cook Thanksgiving dinner for. Then! things get romantic when Luke and Jen decide to boost TBTL's ratings by ripping off nighttime's most successful schmaltz-peddler, Delilah!

What would it sound like if we asked some local high school kids to re- record our theme song in marching band form, and then had Ben Lee himself announce the winners? Don't sit there like an idiot wondering, listen to today's show!

On today's show, doctors misdiagnosed a Belgian man as being in a coma for 23 FREAKING YEARS, turns out he was conscious all along. Also, apparently there's something called 'kick a ginger' day, and apparently some kids in LA took it very seriously. And, Jen checks in from Abilene Texas.

Live music performance from The Lonely Forest! Plus, what's the worst movie you can rent this weekend?

Booze News You Can Use (are we really 'powerless drunks'? the LA Times says no), Jen reports on her trailer park in the 5th ring of suburban shopping hell, and Joe Garza, the guy who filmed that 2 million dollar car wreck comes on the show to declare he is not a hoax.

Luke demos the new TBTL iPhone App, and talks about his new hero, a 10 year-old kid from Arkansas who talks like a little Irishman. Plus, Douchegate!

Luke gets official confirmation (from a black person!) that he's not a racist, Shut It Down America! with the sex tapes already, plus January Jones = awful on SNL.

Luke gives a crack dealer a ride @ 3am (and lives to tell about it), plus the hilarity of comedian Andy Haynes.

Luke's tries to tie a bow tie live on air with embarrassing consequences, Moon Water!, and JD and Thunder know the 'Worst Movie You Can Rent This Weekend', it's called Gymkata.

Awesome job alert! (if your idea of awesome is managing a McDonald's at Guantanamo), Jen finds an unexplained $7,500 in her checking account and tries to figure out what to do with it, a luxury SUV-maker has an idea... Whale Penis Leather Seats (seriously).

Luke uses the internet to set up a disturbing church-music wake up call, listener Dave (a veteran) wants to know how to respond to well wishers without being a doucher, and call makers! Wherein Dr. Jim talks about shushing his nurses during surgery so he can listen to TBTL.

Luke and Vanessa learn a hard/ humiliating lesson from the other members of their bowling team, Sean opens a mystery package on the air, and fans stampede the exits @ a Tracy Morgan comedy show, has he lost what tiny bit of his mind he had left?

The amazing story of how the band Scorpions freed Anne Frank from the Nazis (or something like that according to 13 year-old Luke), Shut It Down America! on debating muslims in the military, and Dr. Steve Brule with some questionable advice about eating horse meat.

Live from LA! Luke is forced to admit that Vanessa's shady travel websites might actually be awesome, and the debut of a new friday segment 'What's The Worst Movie You Can Rent This Weekend?'

Luke travels to LA but leaves a little present behind (of the White Elephant variety) at archival tape of the first hour EVER of TBTL. Tune in to hear Luke nearly pass out from nervousness (and whiskey).

The funky stuff that might be in your ground beef, Luke gets a visit from The Magical Leaf Fairy, and Vanessa and Ben try to convince Luke that The Pixies are truly one of the best bands of all time (and blatantly make a hot date right in front of him).

Jen has a run-in with a wheelchair-bound lady at the RV camp shower, Luke's hair loss has him obsessed with reports of Andre Agassi's rocker toupe, and was Robert Pattinson: too fugly to star in the Twilight movies?

John Hodgman talks about fist fighting Jason Schwartzman, Jen suspects a meth epidemic in her trailer park and Luke's Chicago trip is marred by a run-in with a very annoying Forrest Gump impersonator.

We've got all kinds of scariness in store for you... Dave Boze (our REAL ACTUAL friend and co-worker) tells the story of the time a super-scary, super-fast demon-lady ran him down in the street, plus Luke's one and only time trick or treating, and Chicken Heart! The scariest radio thingy from 1937 you will ever hear.

Filthy drinking water! accidental pornos! greyhound bus pooping! These and many other tales of Cringe on today's show, the first ever Listener-Generated episode of TBTL.

After more violence breaks out, Luke hatches a master plan to make Chucky Cheese safe (spoiler alert, it involves the movie Road House) Jen is STOKED about the return of Lilith Fair, and the reviews are in for the new MJ Movie.. and they're, surprisingly good?