TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

The triumphant return of Cooking W/ Sean De Tore, plus Shut it Down America! re: All The Damn Sexting, and Luke is swept up by love and rage at the sight of Phoenix playing on a tour bus.

Luke casts battles the demons that live inside a bag of Cougar Mountain cookies, Jen goes to an Austin honey-tonk and learns she has a special gift, and listener Chris in NYC tries to piece together the events of a drunken night with the assistance of the TBTL Vmail box.

AfghaniTen Ben checks in from Kandahar Afghanistan to give us the local reaction to President Obama's plan for yet another surge, plus live music from Fences! DO NOT miss this episode. It's one of the good ones.

Luke heroically hosts the show despite his 'plumbing problems' (both literal and figurative), Alec Baldwin gets a TBTL pep-talk, and Swe- Ten Peder teaches us all how to say 'Ah Hell No' in his native tongue (very useful for when you're @ the Ikea by the way)

Karma catches up with Luke over all the poop stories & audio he's played over the years, but Luke has a surprise for karma. Plus, Jen's report from the Lyle Lovett show and fancy Thanksgiving in TX.

Jason dished on his family's bizarre Turkey Day hobo/ dress-up traditions, Luke frets about the 30 or so people he has to cook Thanksgiving dinner for. Then! things get romantic when Luke and Jen decide to boost TBTL's ratings by ripping off nighttime's most successful schmaltz-peddler, Delilah!

What would it sound like if we asked some local high school kids to re- record our theme song in marching band form, and then had Ben Lee himself announce the winners? Don't sit there like an idiot wondering, listen to today's show!

On today's show, doctors misdiagnosed a Belgian man as being in a coma for 23 FREAKING YEARS, turns out he was conscious all along. Also, apparently there's something called 'kick a ginger' day, and apparently some kids in LA took it very seriously. And, Jen checks in from Abilene Texas.

Live music performance from The Lonely Forest! Plus, what's the worst movie you can rent this weekend?

Booze News You Can Use (are we really 'powerless drunks'? the LA Times says no), Jen reports on her trailer park in the 5th ring of suburban shopping hell, and Joe Garza, the guy who filmed that 2 million dollar car wreck comes on the show to declare he is not a hoax.

Luke demos the new TBTL iPhone App, and talks about his new hero, a 10 year-old kid from Arkansas who talks like a little Irishman. Plus, Douchegate!

Luke gets official confirmation (from a black person!) that he's not a racist, Shut It Down America! with the sex tapes already, plus January Jones = awful on SNL.

Luke gives a crack dealer a ride @ 3am (and lives to tell about it), plus the hilarity of comedian Andy Haynes.

Luke's tries to tie a bow tie live on air with embarrassing consequences, Moon Water!, and JD and Thunder know the 'Worst Movie You Can Rent This Weekend', it's called Gymkata.

Awesome job alert! (if your idea of awesome is managing a McDonald's at Guantanamo), Jen finds an unexplained $7,500 in her checking account and tries to figure out what to do with it, a luxury SUV-maker has an idea... Whale Penis Leather Seats (seriously).

Luke uses the internet to set up a disturbing church-music wake up call, listener Dave (a veteran) wants to know how to respond to well wishers without being a doucher, and call makers! Wherein Dr. Jim talks about shushing his nurses during surgery so he can listen to TBTL.

Luke and Vanessa learn a hard/ humiliating lesson from the other members of their bowling team, Sean opens a mystery package on the air, and fans stampede the exits @ a Tracy Morgan comedy show, has he lost what tiny bit of his mind he had left?

The amazing story of how the band Scorpions freed Anne Frank from the Nazis (or something like that according to 13 year-old Luke), Shut It Down America! on debating muslims in the military, and Dr. Steve Brule with some questionable advice about eating horse meat.

Live from LA! Luke is forced to admit that Vanessa's shady travel websites might actually be awesome, and the debut of a new friday segment 'What's The Worst Movie You Can Rent This Weekend?'

Luke travels to LA but leaves a little present behind (of the White Elephant variety) at archival tape of the first hour EVER of TBTL. Tune in to hear Luke nearly pass out from nervousness (and whiskey).

The funky stuff that might be in your ground beef, Luke gets a visit from The Magical Leaf Fairy, and Vanessa and Ben try to convince Luke that The Pixies are truly one of the best bands of all time (and blatantly make a hot date right in front of him).

Jen has a run-in with a wheelchair-bound lady at the RV camp shower, Luke's hair loss has him obsessed with reports of Andre Agassi's rocker toupe, and was Robert Pattinson: too fugly to star in the Twilight movies?

John Hodgman talks about fist fighting Jason Schwartzman, Jen suspects a meth epidemic in her trailer park and Luke's Chicago trip is marred by a run-in with a very annoying Forrest Gump impersonator.

We've got all kinds of scariness in store for you... Dave Boze (our REAL ACTUAL friend and co-worker) tells the story of the time a super-scary, super-fast demon-lady ran him down in the street, plus Luke's one and only time trick or treating, and Chicken Heart! The scariest radio thingy from 1937 you will ever hear.

Filthy drinking water! accidental pornos! greyhound bus pooping! These and many other tales of Cringe on today's show, the first ever Listener-Generated episode of TBTL.

After more violence breaks out, Luke hatches a master plan to make Chucky Cheese safe (spoiler alert, it involves the movie Road House) Jen is STOKED about the return of Lilith Fair, and the reviews are in for the new MJ Movie.. and they're, surprisingly good?

Jen reports in from a divey trailer park near Yosemite, Luke has a new favorite crazy person to follow on twitter, plus! Sage advice on not being a sweaty pig (from Luke, who's often called 'a sweaty pig' by other people).

HUNGRY FOR THE CHICKEN!! KFC's free grilled chicken promo reminds Vanessa of the worst date Luke ever took her on, someone's poisoning the coffee at Harvard (that's why you went to community college thank you very much) and Luke's had enough of the ironic embrace of zombie culture.

Luke's newspaper dilemma comes to a surprising end, Tracy Morgan get serious on it, like REALLY serious, and Mike Birbiglia on the funniest tumor ever.

Luke's world is rocked when a fellow Naked Coffee-Maker is charged with indecent exposure, Pagota the cat shows herself to be a major Attention Ho as she interrupts the show multiple times, and audio tape of a CNN anchor committing the most racist-seeming gaff ever during an interview w/ Jesse Jackson.

Vanessa barely survives her run in with a (probably) Mass Murderer Raccoon @ Burbank Studios, Maddy Brand of NPR fame sits in on Awesome/ Not/Awesome and the secret sadness of being Kenny Rogers.

Things get off to a rough start when Luke's iTunes craps the bed, but as if by some miracle, Jen shows up unannounced, then Rachel Flotard breezes in and hilarity ensues.

Fine! We'll talk about frickin' balloon boy kid. Jen finds out her big literary crush is not, in fact, allthat unique, and is the Large Hadron Collider being sabotaged by....... the future?

Listener Ben checks in live from Afghanistan, Luke tells two stories of man's inhumanity to man from last night and Your Voicemails! Very Drunk Voicemails!

Jen's back! (kinda) Tina Fey tells Letterman about losing the Big V, and a lady get jailed for stalking after she facebook pokes some chick.

Luke bounces back from his breakdown, Jonathan Goldstein on drinking and memories and why Eddie Murphy sucks at comedy, plus call makers!

Technical issues and the delay of an interview send Luke's insecurities bubbling to the surface. Meanwhile, Sean tries to use the power of Hip Hop to convince Luke of Steely Dan's awesomeness.

Luke debuts a new audio disclaimer for when things get racy, Vanessa subsequently gets racy with a story about her youth and a creepo in a Datsun, plus Ben Hoffman, Pro Triathlete talks about The Iron Man World Championship, which he just finished.

Now In High Fidelity! Jen discusses the dream vacation she's about to take, Obama get the Nobel Prize, and Luke finally has enough money for shoes. Clearly it's really working out for everybody.

WTF's Marc Maron on why trying to get hired at E! felt like the bowels of hell. Plus, the story of his big TV commercial break (which ended in a small child from Texas weeping uncontrollably).

Tracy Morgan, please start tweeting (maybe), sure-fire hangover cure from a listener, and Michael W. Smith!

David Letterman exposed as a robot? Law & Order takes on the 'hipster grifter? Hot dogs down hallways? All will be revealed on today's TBTL.

Anthony Bourdain talks about his crack smoking days and why everyone in the city Baltimore hates him, Luke apologizes for his Friday Night Antics @ the listener party, and Josh Sacco, the cutest little Kurt Russell-impersonator ever.

David Michael Letterman! Step into my office. Plus! Behind the scenes of the new movie Whip It. And! Music For Your Weekend.

Gay Talese on Sinatra, Journalism and how the NYT used to be staffed by total drunks, Vanessa abandons Luke at when he gets into it with a neighbor, and Randy Quaid's wife takes the express train to crazytown.

Luke doesn't care about your imaginary facebook mafia war or petting zoo, Vanessa thinks Luke is a bad person for not eating fruit.

Survivor's Jeff Probst on Trump's hair, being pals with Ryan Seacrest, and what he doesn't love about Survivor. Also, Marina Zenovich talks about Roman Polanski and her film 'Roman Polanski, Wanted and Desired'. Plus! A small child plays Johnny Cash and hearts melt.

Michael Ian Black breaks his silence on his wife's Lobster Hands, a TBTL PSA on what not to tell Oprah about the time you and your dad had sex, and did Jenny Slate have the worst SNL debut ever?

Pomplamoose! In (maybe) some kind of World Exclusive Thingy! Chatting and playing a tune for us live from their studio in Northern Cal via Skype Video. Plus, we debut a new segment ('Drag Me To Freaking Hell'), and Jen learns the hard truth about the mysterious Burt Wurley.

Glenn Beck boils a frog on live TV (and wins our first ever 'Waste of Skin' award), Mike Pesca counsels Luke on how to stop obsessing over TBTL's iTunes ranking, and Eli Sanders from The Stranger tells a story of a murder that didn't have to happen.