Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

As we explore the intricate dance between parents, caregivers, and their children, the presence of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can profoundly influence this delicate balance. Parents with ADHD may find solace in shared struggles with their ADHD children, while facing frustration when their symptoms lead to setbacks with neurotypical children. On the other hand, parents without ADHD may struggle to understand the challenges their ADHD child faces, leading to a cycle of punishment and emotional wounds that linger into adulthood.In families with both ADHD and neurotypical children, the specter of favoritism can breed resentment and anger. The neurotypical child may feel neglected, while the child with ADHD may feel unfairly targeted. At the heart of this discord lies a breakdown in communication.Effective communication requires active listening and the recognition of non-verbal cues. Those with ADHD may struggle to articulate their needs and emotions, while those without ADHD may find it challenging to grasp the complexities of the condition. Rebuilding these bridges is no small feat, but progress is possible when all family members are committed to fostering healthier, more open dialogue.The journey towards better communication begins with introspection and asking tough questions about one's own actions, behaviors, and communication style. In times of struggle, seeking the guidance of a trained professional can provide invaluable support.Ultimately, the path to stronger family relationships lies in focusing on personal growth, communication, and understanding. By embracing empathy and compassion, families can begin to mend the invisible tightrope that binds them together.Links & NotesThe Explosive Child by Ross GreenThe ADHD Podcast Ep 358: Mindful Listening for ADHD with Rebecca ShafirThe ADHD Podcast Episodes with Tamara RosierDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (06:37) - Parents & Kids with ADHD (15:06) - The Complicated Family Dynamic (29:35) - Emergent Behavior ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In this week's episode of The ADHD Podcast, hosts Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer explore the nuances of empathy for those with ADHD. Their guest, Dr. Tamara Rosier, recently presented on "The Unexpected Downside of Empathy" at the 2023 International ADHD Conference. Dr. Rosier, founder of the ADHD Center of West Michigan, explains that while empathy is often seen as a virtue, ADHDers may experience it in a more complicated way.Dr. Rosier outlines three main types of empathy: emotional, cognitive, and compassionate. Typically, employing all three types leads to well-regulated empathy. However, she notes that ADHDers frequently operate at extremes, either overly empathetic or non-empathetic. This imbalance leaves them vulnerable to several "downsides" of empathy.First, ADHDers may experience misplaced empathy, making excuses for other's inappropriate behavior. Second, getting stuck in emotional empathy can lead to empathetic distress and fatigue from taking on too many others' burdens. Dr. Rosier hypothesizes this stems from the ADHDer's desire to avoid rejection sensitivity.Third, ADHDers may underfunction by shutting down empathetically. Fourth, they may overfunction by overcompensating for other's lack of empathy. Finally, manipulative people can exploit the ADHDer's emotional empathy to gaslight without triggering their cognitive empathy.ADHD wiring leads to a complicated relationship with empathy. Our great thanks to Dr. Rosier for sharing her insights this week!Links & NotesDr. Tamara RosierThe ADHD Center of West MichiganDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:43) - Introducing Dr. Tamara Rosier (04:42) - What is Empathy? (24:06) - Empathetic Trust (30:34) - Grief (34:28) - Underfunctioning Empathy (37:52) - Overfunctioning Empathy (39:32) - Empathy & RSD (41:32) - Finding Balance (48:10) - The Genesis of the New Book ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

The popular 1944 film Gaslight brought the insidious behavior known as "gaslighting" into the public consciousness. But what exactly is gaslighting, and what does it have to do with ADHD? We explore this in today's episode of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast.Dr. Deborah Vinall, author of the book Gaslighting: A Step-By-Step Recovery Guide, describes gaslighting as a pattern of behavior where one person systematically undermines another, typically as a means of gaining control. It goes beyond an occasional contradiction to a consistent effort to erode the other's confidence in their own perception of reality.So, what does this have to do with ADHD? As it turns out, quite a lot. People with ADHD are more vulnerable to gaslighting attempts for several reasons. Their symptoms of inattention, disorganization, and impulsivity are often used by gaslighters as ammunition to undermine their confidence. Being manipulated into questioning one's own memory and perception can then exacerbate ADHD symptoms like confusion, self-doubt, and struggles with focus and recall.At the same time, some behaviors driven by ADHD, like forgetfulness, tardiness, and fidgeting, can be misconstrued by others as deliberate gaslighting rather than unintentional neurological symptoms. It's important for others to understand ADHD is not an intentional or conscious effort to manipulate.Many with ADHD have experienced the painful effects of gaslighting. They describe feeling trivialized when their real daily struggles are dismissed as "dramatic" or something "everyone deals with." They feel overgeneralized and defeated when told they "never" follow through or "always" mess up, ignoring their successes. And they feel bewildered and betrayed when facts about their lives or promises made to them are denied outright by gaslighters insisting "that never happened."The good news is there are effective ways to maintain confidence and counter gaslighting with ADHD. Seeking external validation from professionals, friends, and family who understand the condition can provide reality checks when self-doubt creeps in. Setting boundaries and directly challenging false claims are also important strategies. Ultimately, it comes down to trusting your instincts, focusing on the future, and relying on facts over emotions when it comes to combating gaslighting with ADHD.Links & NotesGaslighting: A Step-by-Step Recovery Guide to Heal from Emotional Abuse and Build Healthy Relationships by Deborah VinallDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:02) - Support the ADHD Podcast by Become a Patron: patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (04:43) - Gaslight Cinematic History (08:52) - Psychological Manipulation (13:16) - Blame (20:50) - Show Your Work ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Do you remember when you were young and carefree, coasting through school assignments at the last minute? Or social engagements flowing effortlessly from one to the next? As an adult with ADHD, those days may feel like a distant memory. Suddenly, responsibilities pile up, work seems endless, and relationships require much more attention. What changed?In this episode, we explore why ADHD symptoms often worsen from childhood to adulthood. Turns out, the structured school environment and malleable young brain provided a protective cocoon. Youthful resilience and novelty-seeking behaviors also naturally complemented ADHD traits.But adult life removes those scaffolds. We're faced with open-ended choices, little external accountability, and increasingly rigid thinking patterns. Stress compounds the challenges. Without school forcing new learning, our minds stagnate. Mental elasticity gives way to knee-jerk reactions. Dopamine-seeking behaviors like substance abuse or gambling frequently emerge. It's no wonder ADHD feels debilitating.The good news? We can recreate youthful advantages through scheduling routines, mindfulness practices, brain training, and lifestyle changes. Structure liberates the ADHD mind from decision fatigue. Meditation and new hobbies boost dopamine. And cognitive exercises build mental agility. By bringing back elements of childhood, we can recapture some of its ease. The path requires diligence and self-compassion. But reclaiming our younger resilience is within reach.Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:00) - Support the show: Become a patron! (05:18) - Were things better back in the day? (09:06) - Performative Busyness (15:14) - The ADHD Twist ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We're eager to please, but at what cost? For people with ADHD, saying yes to requests from others often means sabotaging our own priorities. Urgency provides a dopamine hit; the instructions are clear. Best of all, we aren't fully responsible for the outcome. But every time we dodge our obligations to take on extra, we chip away at our future. Before automatically agreeing to favors, pause and examine your motives. Are you truly available or just procrastinating? Will you have to sacrifice critical deadlines to accommodate? Respect your time. Invest in your goals, not just other's. Your needs matter too. Stop self-sabotage disguised as service. Prioritize a future fueled by purpose, not avoidance.We talk about some key principles this week including time shielding for protecting our time from distraction, the values calendar to help align time to our values, and margin for interruption in our schedules. Links & NotesShawn Blanc writing about MarginDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:43) - Connect with Us! (02:14) - Patreon! Join the club! patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (03:44) - Sabotage (18:52) - Time Shielding and the Values Calendar (29:32) - Margin ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

When everything is on fire, how do you escape the flames? For people with ADHD, overwhelm can consume our days in a blazing mess of forgotten tasks, ignored priorities, and competing demands. Like a wildfire swallowing the horizon, the urgent eclipses the important until catastrophe looms. Fortunately, firefighters don't panic in the face of infernos. They methodically suppress the flames by targeting fuels one at a time. We can borrow their approach. Tackle the smallest task first for a quick win. Preserve your critical relationships, health, and finances. Let go of time-wasters that won't devastate. Once the blaze subsides, sift through the ashes and rebuild. Learn from the near-disaster to prepare for the next. With level-headed focus, even the most raging overwhelm can be contained. Don't let the flames consume you. Become the firefighter, armed and ready.It’s possible we’re overdoing the fire metaphor. But that’s what we do on the ADHD podcast... we lean in, even when it’s too hot to handle. Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (03:06) - The Podcast! (04:08) - Become a Patron! Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (04:55) - The Five Alarm ADHD Productivity Blaze ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

The ADHD Tax is real—and it's costly. A recent poll found over half of people with ADHD lose over $1000 a year to fees, fines, and forgetfulness. We call them ADHD Taxes: late bill payments, expired food, unpaid subscriptions. Benjamin Franklin said nothing is certain except death and taxes, but ADHD Taxes are optional. With planning and habits, we can eliminate these penalties that drain our time, money, and self-esteem. ADHD may be lifelong, but the taxes don't have to be. Learn to stop the cycle and keep that currency—money and time—in your pocket. The cost of a ADHD Tax? Your peace of mind. The gain from ending it? Priceless!Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:53) - Become a Patron! Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (02:49) - The ADHD Tax ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This week on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Pete and Nikki explore what it means to be uncomfortable and why that's not always a bad thing. The inspiration for this topic came from Melissa reflecting on a step in the GPS process where members review past experiences with strategies and tools from the previous week. She wondered whether it was the tool/strategy that wasn't working or if it just felt uncomfortable because it was new. Melissa asked if we're giving up too quickly on new things by saying they don't work for us when maybe we haven't given them enough time.So, what does it mean to be uncomfortable or outside your comfort zone? Dictionary definitions describe it as feeling unease, awkwardness, distress or lack of confidence. Many ADHDers regularly feel this way, and these are feelings we try to eliminate with new strategies. So why stick with a new system if it brings up the same negative emotions? There’s a bit of a sidetrack around systems with acronyms that can distract from the real effort, all while increasing discomfort, which poses the question: is discomfort important? The bottom line? Don't let initial discomfort lead you to quit on a new strategy too soon. Stick with it, and you might find great benefits once you move past the unease of the unfamiliar. Discomfort doesn't have to last forever.Links & NotesLearning to Learn and the Navigation of Moods: The Meta-Skill for the Acquisition of SkillsDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (03:59) - Getting Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable (20:34) - Discomfort Signaling ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In "The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking," you're introduced to the unconventional notion that the pursuit of happiness might actually lie down a 'negative path.' Oliver Burkeman invites you to consider embracing life's uncertainties and insecurities, challenging the prevalent culture of positive thinking. Overly optimistic mindsets, he argues, can lead to a denial of reality and set you up for greater disappointment. The book delves into the idea of "negative capability," encouraging you to become comfortable with ambiguity and resist the urge to hastily resolve doubt.Burkeman guides you through the Stoic philosophy, which emphasizes controlling what you can and accepting what you cannot. He introduces you to the concept of negative visualization, a Stoic practice of contemplating the worst to temper anxiety and build resilience. This conversation also takes you through the paradox of control. Burkeman illustrates how accepting failure can be a conduit to success. He challenges the fixation on goals, advocating instead for a focus on routines, suggesting that happiness is better pursued indirectly as a byproduct of a life lived in alignment with personal values.Lastly, the book beckons you to confront the uncomfortable directly through practices like mindfulness and to appreciate life's fragility through memento mori. Burkeman introduces the concept of antifragility, where you gain strength from stressors. He proposes a balanced life approach, where accepting death, failure, and uncertainty can lead to a more authentic form of happiness. As you reflect on these ideas, you'll find "The Antidote" not just a critique of Western culture's happiness obsession but a practical guide advocating for a more realistic and accepting approach to the inevitable challenges of life.Links & NotesBuy The Antidote: Happiness for People who Can’t Stand Positive ThinkingDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:56) - Support the Podcast by Joining the ADHD Community! (03:17) - The Antidote (08:00) - Toxic Positivity (15:04) - Stoicism (20:34) - Mindset is Not Positive Thinking ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In his provocative book Four Thousand Weeks, author Oliver Burkeman confronts our culture's obsession with productivity and efficiency. He makes the case that with a limited lifespan of around 4,000 weeks, our pursuit of packed schedules and perfect work-life balance is ultimately futile.Burkeman urges us to embrace the unchangeable reality that our time is finite. Only by accepting our human limitations, he argues, can we focus on what matters most and live with intention. Rather than desperately trying to find more time, we should recognize that time management is impossible. Every moment we gain elsewhere means a sacrifice of something else.Confronting the brevity of life is daunting but also liberating. It allows us to pare down our priorities, say no to less meaningful activities, and zero in on how we truly want to spend the days we have. Presence becomes more important than productivity. With mortality as a guidepost, we can live each moment more purposefully.The book is an enlightening take on time, work, and what makes life meaningful. Burkeman blends philosophical insights with practical advice to fundamentally reframe how we approach our use of time. Four Thousand Weeks is a compelling invitation to examine our values and construct daily routines that align with what we cherish most. Though our weeks are limited, we have the power to fill them with intentionality.Links & NotesOliver BurkemanBuy Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for MortalsDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:23) - Support this podcast by becoming a Patron (03:10) - Four Thousand Weeks ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

It's season 28 and we're kicking it off with a look at how we make decisions. See, we all have models through which we see the choices before us. We decided to start this series with a look at some of the acknowledged mental models around decision-making to help us create a vernacular we can use to discuss how our brains are impacted by choices in our lives and our ADHD.Mental models are bite-sized, condensed views that help us understand ourselves and the world around us. We explore various mental models that can both aid and hinder our decision-making, such as the tendency to want to do something, confirmation bias, hindsight bias, overgeneralizing from small samples, social proof, and opportunity costs. We discuss the importance of using these models with caution and not relying on them entirely for decision-making. Join us as we explore these fascinating concepts and gain insights into how our biases and tendencies can influence our choices.Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (03:24) - Support the show and Become a Patron today! (04:23) - Mental Models of Decision Making (08:14) - The Tendency to Want to Do Something (12:22) - Confirmation Bias (22:20) - Hindsight Bias (29:38) - Overgeneralizing from Small Samples vs. The Law of Large Numbers (34:46) - Social Proof (39:28) - Opportunity Costs ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We’re having so much fun talking about planning that we’re sticking with it another week! And this time, it’s all about what happens when we fall off the wagon. How do you stand up with courage and strength and admit you’ve strayed from your system? How do you face the flood of email when you get back from a well-earned vacation? We’re digging into the tools and practices that will help you get back in the saddle and shake the shame of the struggle along the way!Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (00:19) - The ADHD Conference Report! (06:42) - Sponsor: TextExpander (09:36) - Coming Back to Planning Systems ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We're talking about planning again and we're taking on your questions! Getting started, long-term planning, making transitions, and even AI tools are on deck for this week's show. The big topics:How do you get started planning when you haven't done it?How do you plan to plan?Struggling with personal deadlines?What if you’re struggling to make plans more than a few weeks ahead of time?How do you plan for things that don't have concrete goals?What do I do during transition time?AI and how do I use it?So... why TickTick?Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:58) - Support the show: Become a Patron at Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (04:59) - How do you get started planning when you haven't done it? (09:20) - How do you plan to plan? (13:58) - Struggling with personal deadlines (21:10) - Struggling to make plans more than a few weeks ahead of time (27:12) - How do you plan for things that don't have concrete goals? (31:54) - What do I do during transition time? (38:26) - AI and how do I use it? (51:38) - So... why TickTick? ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Pete’s in the hot seat this week as Nikki walks through a listener question of the motivational variety. For reference, here it is: “When we have a plan of quadrant two tasks, important but not urgent, it is impossible to focus on those at all if there are ANY quadrant one tasks... urgent and important... unresolved. What’s interesting is that you might think, sure ... do those. They’re urgent and important. But the problem is that maybe you’ve done your part on them. You’re waiting for an email response... you are time-blocked from doing anything about it because a store isn’t open... something like that. It’s unresolved, AND you can’t do anything about it, AND you can’t focus on anything else that is on your list that would move other projects forward as a result.”There’s an emotional yo-yo at work here, and you can bet there is a healthy dose of limiting beliefs. But there is also a very real connection between this attachment and the ADHD brain. Nikki walks Pete through an exercise that aims to make this relationship a bit softer.Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:39) - Support the Show: Become a Patron at Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (03:05) - Sponsor: TextExpander (06:51) - The Planning Motivation Game is Afoot ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

On this week’s show, Pete and Nikki break down how to create and implement planning systems that work with the ADHD brain.“There is not a perfect calendar, planner or task manager for ADHD,” notes Nikki. “What matters is that you build trust and consistency with your chosen tools.” They start by addressing common misconceptions about finding the “right” organizational system. As Nikki explains, no one tool determines success - only your willingness to use it consistently builds planning skills. She cautions against getting distracted searching for a flawless system. What matters is finding tools that fit your workflow and building habits around using them daily.What causes so many to abandon their carefully chosen systems? They share the psychological traps that sabotage trust in planning tools, from perfectionism to learned helplessness. They discuss how forgetting to use the system consistently or failing to personalize it to your needs also hinders success. Tune in to gain insight into why your tools may be failing you. The key to results is forming a habit of using your system, not the system itself. They offer tips like starting small, scheduling planning time and allowing flexibility as you build consistency. Nikki emphasizes that mistakes are part of the process - you must persist through frustration to cement reliability. Create order amidst the chaos of ADHD through insights on building planning systems you can trust. Pete and Nikki guide you through myths, pitfalls, and practical strategies for long-term consistency. Discover how small steps create big change.Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:27) - Support the show! Get Member-Only D&D Special through Patreon! (04:05) - Planning Systems and Why They Fail (05:13) - What are we counting on our planning systems to do? (20:51) - Perfectionism (31:47) - Routines (34:53) - Beware the "Best Of" Recommendations ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In this week's episode of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, hosts Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright interview Dr. Tamara Rosier about motivation and ADHD. Dr. Rosier, author of "Your Brain's Not Broken," shares insights from her experiences as an ADHD coach and professor to uncover motivation strategies for those with ADHD.As Dr. Rosier explains of those living with ADHD, "There is really no research explaining our success in the modern world." Her book aims to send a "love letter" to those struggling, affirming that "You're okay. And I know it feels hard for you, but you're still okay."The hosts dive into the complicated relationship between ADHD and motivation. Dr. Rosier notes that while ADHD can make people appear self-centered as they struggle to survive, most "are incredibly sensitive" and "heart forward." Pete adds that ADHD allows people to "forget the important things"—like basic needs—while seeking self-actualization. Dr. Rosier agrees this makes success especially difficult, as "easy things are very difficult" for those with ADHD, yet they still accomplish much.To build motivation, Dr. Rosier suggests first assessing your values—why something matters. She coaches Nikki to uncover beliefs like "I should enjoy cooking" that create pressure. Next, acknowledge the difficulty but willingness to do hard things. Tie actions to values, not beliefs that demotivate. Dr. Rosier advises imagining your future self; what actions would serve them well? For her, laying out morning clothes helps future Tamara. Finally, notice existing successes instead of dismissing them. Despite feeling inconsistent, for example, Pete already walks his dog each and every morning.While discussing motivation, Dr. Rosier exposes thought patterns that sabotage us. Beating yourself up rarely helps. Instead, start by naming emotions and difficulties without judgment. Accept dissonance between wants and responsibilities. Motivation takes self-awareness, values exploration, and celebrating every step forward.Here are a few key takeaways:How ADHD impacts motivation and successSteps to take to understand and build motivationHow to shift from self-judgment to self-acceptanceStrategies to uncover motivation blocks like beliefsThe importance of aligning actions with valuesWays to celebrate small consistency winsWith compassionate insight, Dr. Rosier exposes why motivation is so complex yet possible. This inspiring episode explores practical strategies to overcome motivation challenges. Anyone seeking to understand themselves and build motivation from within will find this a thoughtful listen.Links & NotesLearn more about Dr. Tamara RosierFollow Dr. Tamara Rosier on LinkedInGet the book: “Your Brain's Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD” by Dr. Tamara Rosier (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (02:49) - Support This Podcast: Become a Patron at Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (04:22) - Introducing Dr. Tamara Rosier (14:28) - Separating Feeling from Motivation (18:18) - Motivation and Self-Actualization (26:20) - Ego and Self-Centered Worldview (31:57) - Tying Motivation to a Value (33:36) - Coaching FOR Nikki! (57:00) - Learn More ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright aim to explore the meaning of joy, the differences between joy and happiness, and practical ways to cultivate more joy in daily life living with ADHD.This episode dives into the essence of joy, including surprise moments as well as practices that help align us to experience joy more frequently. Nikki shares insights from a recent retreat focused on sound, music, and vibrations for generating joy and harmony in life.Key points covered:Defining joy as moments of transcendent happiness sparked by surprise, versus the overall state of happiness. "Joy involves changes in visual perception. Colors seem brighter, motor behavior, physical movements feel freer and easier, smiling happens involuntarily."Happiness as a constant state, while joy represents fleeting peaks within the state of contentment. An analogy: "Happiness is a 100-story building and joy is the elevator that takes you to higher floors briefly."The importance of letting difficult emotions move through you rather than ruminating endlessly. "Feel the storm, and then let it move through you."Questions we answer in this episode:What is the difference between joy and happiness?How can we cultivate more joy in daily life?What are tools for moving through grief or trauma to regain joy?Key Takeaways:If seeking joy, focus on aligning practices toward joy.Turn toward positive thoughts, music, sights that spark joy. What you focus on grows.Meditation, journaling, and talk therapy help stop rumination loops.This is an uplifting episode on aligning ourselves to notice and generate more joy in daily life. Quotes like "the past no longer counts, the future hasn't been written yet" inspire us to be present for fleeting moments of joy.Links & NotesLearning to Learn and the Navigation of Moods: The Meta-Skill for the Acquisition of SkillsThe 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday CourageDr. Lisa Feldman Barrett: How to Understand Emotions - Huberman LabDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:49) - Support the Podcast and Become a Patron! (02:43) - Joy & ADHD (05:55) - What is Joy? (14:11) - Do you create joy? (21:35) - Moods (24:43) - 17 Seconds (32:55) - Huberman Labs Podcast Note ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

The world can be a tough place. We know that our ADHD doesn't make that any easier. But our health and well-being depend heavily on the worldview we cultivate in spite of our challenges. This week, we're talking about optimism, how we find it, and how we make it a practice in the face of struggle. We’ll talk about the things that get in the way of our efforts to feel optimistic like emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity, an impulsivity. The thing is, in the face of all those challenges, we’re already wired with our other tools to regain control. We’re generally OK with therapy and strengths-based approaches to wellbeing, for example. So let’s explore mental models that impact us. These include Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset, Cognitive-Behavioral models, and Martin Seligman’s Explanatory Style theory. That’s the one that has impacted Pete the most this month. For the sound of a mind being blown, listen in. This episode is brought to you by Stimara. Get your next favorite fidget and engage your brain with a fidget designed by neurodiverse adults for neurodiverse adults and save 15% along the way. Visit Stimara for yours today, and thank you to Stimara for Sponsoring The ADHD Podcast!Links & NotesSponsor: StimaraDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (04:44) - Sponsor: Get 15% off Stimags from Stimara at https://takecontroladhd.com/stimara (07:30) - On Optimism (11:48) - Mental Models of Optimism ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In this episode, we welcome James Ochoa, a counselor, coach, mentor, and intuitionist who has been helping adults with ADHD for over thirty years. James shares his insights on the importance of community in our ADHD journey and updates us on his upcoming book, "When the Shiny Wears Off: Navigating the Lifetime Storms of Adult ADHD."We discuss the value of being part of a community and what it means to belong to a group of people who understand what you experience every day. We also explore the benefits of joining a community, such as personal growth, a sense of belonging, new friendships, learning new things, and practicing interpersonal skills.James emphasizes the importance of recognizing that our motives for joining a new group or community are not always altruistic and that we only have so much extra time to share. Most importantly, he walks us through the power of developing your internal support group, using creative visualization to create your community in times of need.In conclusion, James reminds us that being part of a community is crucial in our ADHD journey. It can provide us with a sense of belonging and help us grow personally. Thank you for joining us in this episode, and we hope you find it insightful and helpful in your own ADHD journey.Links & NotesJames Ochoa, LPCDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (01:14) - ADHD THANK YOU! (02:18) - SPONSOR: Save 20% on your first year of TextExpander Today! (04:56) - Welcome James Ochoa! (07:48) - Exploring Community (11:52) - Internal Community: The Mental Support Group (20:52) - "But, I have too many friends..." (27:58) - Post-COVID Resillience (36:24) - How do you become an unselfish member of a community? ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

The esteemed Hall of Fame ADHD Podcast Guest and dear friend Dr. Sharon Saline graces the show once again! This week: why is it hard for ADHDers to be authentic joiners? Sharon offers her wisdom on the value of community in managing ADHD, addressing the fears and hesitations that can often prevent individuals from seeking out communal ties.One of the main topics we discuss is avoidance behaviors towards community engagement. There are myriad reasons why a person might be reluctant to participate in group settings, such as social anxiety, previous negative experiences, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), fear of the unknown, and confusion about how to navigate new situations. Dr. Saline emphasizes the potential impacts of such isolating behaviors on a person's physical, mental, and social well-being. She also highlights the importance of fostering relationships, regardless of their novelty, and addresses the common misconception that having a few friends who may not fully understand an individual's experiences is sufficient.How do we approach overcoming the avoidance of community engagement? Dr. Saline provides practical advice for those who seek the connection a community offers but are held back by their fears. She discusses the potential benefits of therapy or professional healthcare consultations to better understand and manage these fears. She also provides strategies to combat the paralysis often brought on by the fear of RSD and the "what if" scenarios that can hinder one from entering new group situations. Her advice to those who've had negative group interactions in the past is particularly powerful, urging them not to let past experiences define their future opportunities.Links & NotesLearn more about Dr. Saline on her site, https://drsharonsaline.com, and make sure to pick up a copy of her fantastic book, "What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids for Success in School and Life”— it’s fantastic!Get Sharon's Free Handout Right Here! (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:46) - Introducing Dr. Sharon Saline (04:32) - Why is Community Important? (16:10) - Social Anxiety (22:26) - The Avoidance ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We come to you with a pivot today and a follow-up discussion to last week's conversation on ADHD stigma. What is normal? Why is it such a charged word? And what can we do to reprogram the world around normal to represent any point on the vast neurodiversity spectrum? (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (04:20) - The ADHD Stigma ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Kody Lukens has been an entrepreneur since the age of 15, when he filed his first LLC. Now, he is the creator behind Stimagz - a successful magnetic fidget toy that was funded on Kickstarter. When Kody was first diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, he was frustrated by the lack of resources tailored for adults dealing with ADHD. He started searching online for recommendations and communities that could provide support but found very little that resonated with his needs and experience as an adult with ADHD. This inspired Kody to start creating his own ADHD-focused content on platforms like TikTok and Instagram. The response was overwhelmingly positive, indicating a real need for content created by and for adults with ADHD. While creating content proved draining at times, Kody persevered because he knew first-hand how valuable resources and community can be for someone newly diagnosed with ADHD. He continues to fill his own need for community by engaging with the people who interact with his content. Through this experience, Kody has gained significant insight into the need for accessible education, support systems, and community for adults with ADHD.This passion led him to create Stimara, a company dedicated to building tools and products designed specifically for neurodivergent individuals. Stimagz, their magnetic fidget toy, has already sold over 10,000 units. Kody and the Stimara team are constantly working on new innovations to support the ADHD community. (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (03:57) - Introducing Kody Lukens (06:43) - INCUP Motivators (11:09) - Finding Community (16:11) - Fidget Stigma (22:11) - Design Philosophy (26:53) - Kickstarter... and running the business ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This week, we delve into the complex issue of emotional dysregulation, a common but often misunderstood symptom of ADHD. Emotional dysregulation refers to an impairment or inability to regulate feelings, which can lead to an overreaction to minor setbacks or challenges. This issue is deeply rooted in the science of emotion regulation.And it's central to the sabotage we use on ourselves when we use "I don't wanna" as a strategy for productivity.To better understand this, we reference an article from ADDitude magazine which discusses the role of the amygdala, a part of the brain responsible for emotional reaction and decision-making. Typically, a surge of emotion such as anger or worry triggers the amygdala to send a signal to the cerebral cortex, which can then restrain the emotional response, allowing for a moment of pause and assessment before action. However, in those with ADHD, this amygdala-cortex signaling is significantly weakened, often leading to impulsive reactions to strong emotions.We also discuss "The Resistance," a concept from Steven Pressfield, one of Pete's favorite writers on creativity and motivation. Pressfield describes "The Resistance" as a negative force that aims to distract and prevent us from doing our work, a concept that can be frustratingly familiar to those grappling with ADHD.Emotional dysregulation can have profound impacts on our lives. When faced with a setback or perceived failure, the resultant flood of intense emotions can inhibit our willingness to try again, fueling limiting beliefs and often leading us to use our emotions as an excuse for inaction. However, it's crucial to remember that feelings are fluid and fleeting. They should not be allowed to dictate our actions.Links & NotesHow ADHD Amplifies EmotionsDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:15) - Support the Show on Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (05:16) - Sponsor: TextExpander! (08:03) - I don't wanna (10:01) - The Amygdala Hijack (13:48) - The Resistance (17:07) - I Can't versus I Won't (25:19) - Backpocketing Success ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We had something of a scheduling snafu this week and our guests didn’t show! Don’t worry, they’ll be back. Bun in the mean time, Nikki and Pete carried on an impromptu AMA-QA show with members in the live chat and we decided to share a piece of it with you. The question that sparks the answer is, “how do you help others with transitions when you suck at them yourself?” Great question, and that gets us talking all about Bandura’s thoughts on self-efficacy, how pride can help you learn hard things, and more! If you want to hear the whole conversation, head over to https://patreon.com/theadhdpodcast and sign up to get your very own member-edition podcast feed! Thanks everyone!Links & NotesArchive.org • Bandura’s Original PublicationDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Buckle up for an episode packed with laughter, real talk, and maybe just a dash of existential dread. We've roped in our buddy and partner-in-podcasting-crime, Tommy Metz III, who you might recognize from that other awesome show, "What's That Smell Presents: All The Feelings". Kick back as Tommy spills some tea about himself, the mysteries of his life, and why on Earth he's hanging out with us today. He also drops the mic about the 8th season of "What's That Smell?" and its shiny new transformation into "All The Feelings". And, speaking of feelings and changes, our chat today is inspired by that very first episode of "All The Feelings" that talks about -- you guessed it -- Change. Tommy's got some wisdom nuggets about big transitions that he's itching to share with us.We then dive headfirst into the deep end of the pool labeled "Big Transitions". You know the ones we're talking about - like that cold shock of returning to work after a lazy vacation, or trying to remember what "normal" felt like after being sick for a while. Oh, and let's not forget the Herculean task of changing daily routines or dealing with the horror of a new commute route. We mull over why these transitions feel like climbing Mount Everest without oxygen, touching on fun concepts like the Hedonic Treadmill (spoiler: it's not a new fitness trend), our good old friends Fear of The Unknown and Fear of Failure, and that stubborn mule we call Resistance to Change.But hey, it's not all doom and gloom! Sure, change can seem as appealing as a root canal, but often, the reality isn't nearly as terrifying as our overactive imaginations make it out to be. If you're wrestling with big transitions, we've got some top-shelf advice: ask for help (it's not a crime, we promise), blab about your feelings to someone who'll listen, and try to channel your inner Sherlock Holmes to get curious about what's new.And if you're still feeling like a cat on a hot tin roof, let's play a game of "What if". What's the absolute worst thing that could happen? Once we break it down, you'll see that most of our "worst case scenarios" are about as likely as being struck by a meteor while winning the lottery. So come join us for this rollercoaster ride as we laugh, learn, and maybe cry a little about transitions, fears, and just all the feelings. Together, we'll navigate this crazy maze of change and come out the other side with a few more laugh lines and a whole lot more wisdom.Links & NotesWTS Presents: All The FeelingsDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (05:00) - Support the Show: Become a Patron! (05:29) - Tommy... and All The Feelings (08:39) - Micro-transition Review (12:51) - Learning from Small Transitions, in service of the Big Ones! (17:43) - Fake Dopamine (19:37) - Aggressively Settling (24:44) - Hedonic Adaptation (34:37) - Finding Joy on the Other Side of Change (41:29) - Check out AllTheFeelings.fun. Seriously. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In this episode, we're shifting gears from our prior focus on games to delve into the world of transitions, particularly from the perspective of individuals with ADHD. The first area we explore is the concept of micro transitions. These are small changes that occur throughout our day, whether it's switching tasks, moving from one conversation topic to another, or even everyday activities like waking up or moving to a different location. Despite their seemingly minor nature, these transitions can pose substantial challenges for those with ADHD.One of the central discussions in this episode centers on why transitions are often so hard for people with ADHD. The difficulties stem from the fact that ADHD can negatively affect executive functions. This can manifest as time blindness, difficulty in starting and stopping tasks, hyperfocus, and poor working memory. On a practical level, this might mean an individual with ADHD struggles with moving from a fun, dopamine-producing task to a boring or avoided task, remembering the reason for moving from one room to another, or leaving for work on time due to difficulty transitioning from waking up to getting ready.Our conversation takes an intriguing turn as we propose a novel way to think about transitions: not as a change in contexts, but in rewards. This perspective encourages us to be aware of the hidden rewards of our current activity while also reminding ourselves of the potential rewards of the upcoming task. Poor transition management can lead to chronic lateness, which can impact jobs or relationships, and even a decline in health and wellness due to inadequate sleep.Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:54) - Support the show! Become a Patron! (03:44) - Transitions (08:36) - Changing Rewards (15:41) - Transition Treats ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This week we're diving into the Paradox of Failure. It's something game designer Jesper Juul came up with, and it's all about how gamers are weirdly drawn to the very thing we're trying to avoid: failure. Even when a game is exasperating, we just keep going back for more. It's all part of this cycle Juul talks about, where we set a goal, totally flub it, and then scramble to find a solution. It's a crazy ride, but it helps us grow and keeps us from throwing in the towel.Dr. Carol Dweck taught us about the "growth mindset." It's all about loving a good challenge and not letting failure get you down. Instead, we use it as a springboard to get better and smarter. We'll also share some tips and tricks to help you embrace this kind of mindset, so you can tackle failures head-on, whether you're battling a boss in a game or facing challenges in the real world.Links & NotesFear of Failing? The Many Meanings of Difficulty in Video GamesVideo games and the paradox of failureThe Learning Game — Ana Lorena FabregaWhat Is A Growth Mindset? 8 Steps To Develop One.Carol Dweck: A Summary of The Two MindsetsDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (00:58) - Support the show! (01:28) - Discord Changes a-Plenty! (03:25) - Embracing Failure (08:26) - The Paradox of Failure (24:54) - Rebranding Failure ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We’re continuing our series on gaming and ADHD this week. So far, we’ve explored how gaming ignites creativity and can expand perspectives and horizons. But what if we told you there was a game that is designed and build expressly to aid in treatment of attention disorders? That’s EndeavorOTC, the latest release from Akili Interactive. This is a company that cut its teeth on the FDA-Authorized pediatric game, EndeavorRx, the first and only prescription treatment delivered through a video game. With EndeavorOTC, they’re looking to help adults. Eddie Martucci is CEO of Akili and joins us today to talk about the game, how it works, and what it just might be able to do for you. Links & NotesLearn more about EndeavorOTCDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (01:31) - Support the Show: Become a Patron and Jump in Discord! (03:25) - Sponsor: TextExpander (05:46) - Introducing Eddit Martucci (10:22) - EndeavorRx (14:04) - Getting Docs on Board (18:54) - Playing the Game (24:32) - Meanwhile... in the real world... (32:48) - Non-prescription EndeavorOTC (37:20) - Pricing ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Colleen Macklin is a game designer and a Professor in the School of Art, Media and Technology at Parsons School of Design and author of Iterate: Ten Lessons in Design and Failure. She’s interested in how games model and reveal ideologies through systems. And, incidentally, she reports she was recently diagnosed with ADHD, which makes her doubly cool in our crowd. She joins us today to talk about games and gaming and neurodiversity.We explore a wide range of topics, from the impact of ADHD on Colleen's life and teaching to her love for games and game design. Colleen shares her thoughts on how games can engage attentional deficits and embrace a broad neurodiversity spectrum. She also shares her journey with the game design collective Local No. 12 and their creations, including the videogame "Dear Reader.”Playing games helps us to rediscover playfulness in our lives no matter your age. If there’s one thing we hope you’ll walk away from this episode thinking about it’s that you have the opportunity — the gift — that is creating more play in your own life everyday. You don’t have to be a tabletop gamer, or a programmer in the video game field. All you have to do is wake up and decide: today, we play.Links & NotesColleenMacklin.comDear ReaderBudgetBallIterate: Ten Lessons in Design and Failure (The MIT Press) by John Sharp and Colleen MacklinThe Monopolists by Mary Pilon (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:12) - Support the Show • Become a Patron! Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (03:45) - Introducing Colleen Macklin (06:07) - Colleen's Road to Diagnosis (09:23) - Colleen's Road to Games (13:59) - Exciting Game Tech ... and Budgetball (21:19) - RSD and Becoming a "Better" Gamer (28:43) - Where Poker and RPGs collide (32:46) - Using Games to Learn About Ourselves (35:36) - "If you want to understand something, make a game about it." ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Chris Legge joins The ADHD Podcast to discuss his tabletop roleplaying game, Soft Focuses. Chris developed Soft Focuses as a journaling game aimed at simulating the experiences of living with ADHD. Players take on the role of someone with ADHD and journal their experiences, cooperating with themselves as both player and gamemaster. The first edition of Soft Focuses was released after extensive research and playtesting. It focused on recreating the core experiences of ADHD. After positive reception, Chris created a second edition, adding rules to simulate common ADHD comorbidities like anxiety, OCD, ODD, depression, and more. The new rules aimed to capture a more holistic ADHD experience. Overall, Soft Focuses provides a unique tool for building empathy and perspectives around ADHD, but also gives us an excuse to talk about role playing and the psychosocial exploration of different parts of ourselves in the process. You can find the game on Chris’ website, Lumberwood Studios.Links & NotesLumberwood Studios (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (01:19) - Join the Community • Become a Supporting Patron! (02:31) - Introducing Chris Legge (05:54) - How does ADHD Influence Gaming (07:48) - What is a Table Top Game? (14:52) - The Journaling Game (17:50) - Soft Focuses (29:26) - Research (33:34) - Life Imitates Games (37:34) - Learn More ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Living with ADHD often feels like a losing battle. Our brains desperately need dopamine to stay focused, but no matter how hard we try, there's never enough. Chores pile up, tasks go unfinished, and frustration mounts. But what if we could find joy in the mundane? Harness the power of play? Games have been with us since the dawn of humanity, releasing dopamine and making complex systems comprehendible through fun. In games, we learn without fear. We explore new worlds, defeat dragons, save kingdoms! Games are a refuge, a mental playground where we become the heroes of our own stories. It's time to unleash our inner hero and turn daily life into a game worth playing! Equip powerful weapons like Timers of Timing to race chores and magical Rewards of Snacking to celebrate quests completed. Seek out Fellow Gamers to inspire friendly competition. Download Apps of Destiny that transform drudgery into daring challenges!At last, release your mental shackles! With the spark of playfulness, no task is too tedious. Laundry Dungeons and Sweeping Coliseums await. Through gamification, chore becomes choice, work becomes wonder, frustration becomes fun. Let the games begin! ADHD, we're coming for you.It’s possible we’re digging in too deep on some of our colorful gamer lanuage there, but hear us out: there’s a lot we can learn about ourselves and our relationship with ADHD and we’re kicking of this, our 27th Season, with a series of conversations and interviews about the value of rediscovering play in our lives! (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:04) - Support the Show! Become a Patron at https://patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (03:20) - Sponsor: TextExpander (05:30) - Our Favorite Games! (12:06) - Why Games? It's all about the dopamine (14:20) - "Games make rules fun." (23:42) - What Games Teach Us (28:15) - By the way... addiction (35:46) - Gamifying Your Day ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We want to thank all of you who took the time to participate in our 2023 ADHD Job Survey. The 63 responses provided a wealth of insight into your experiences in the workplace. Overall, the results show that while work can pose many challenges for adults with ADHD, many of you have found fulfilling jobs and developed solutions that allow you to thrive no matter what you're dealing with on the job itself. Work can clearly be challenging for folks with ADHD, and yet many of you have found jobs you enjoy and developed strategies to cope. Your experiences demonstrate the diverse talents, interests, and perseverance of that makes this community shine. Thank you for sharing your stories—they inspire and help others navigate similar paths. Keep talking about your lives; we're listening! (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (03:14) - Sponsor: TextExpander! (05:40) - The 2023 ADHD Community Job Series (07:15) - Current Employment (22:37) - Past Jobs ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

"Without time, you don't have attention; without attention, you don't have time.”This week on the show, we're exploring the artifice of bureaucracy and administrative structures of traditional work, and how it can be difficult to navigate with an ADHD brain, and we have the perfect guest to help us do it. Dr. Kourosh Dini is a board-certified psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, author, and musician, and most recently, he created the Waves of Focus course and community for those struggling with ADHD and other "wandering minds.”Along the way, we look at the social and administrative contracts at work, and how to positively adapt our behavior toward managers and other authority figures while dealing with anxiety, fear, and RSD. We discuss Dr. Dini's concept of the wandering mind, how it applies across domains, and the struggle of “holding it all together” for the world while deeply struggling internally. Finally, we explore the idea of “hiding” ADHD at work for those trying to find a place to fit in.If you relate to any of this, you owe it to yourself to listen to this show and check out the robust catalog of Dr. Dini's fantastic contributions to the world of productivity with kindness. (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (01:12) - Support the Show! (03:27) - Introducing Kourosh Dini, MD (04:19) - The Wandering Mind (08:10) - What if we're out of sync? (14:33) - Adjusting to Artificial Structure (15:22) - The Visit (18:53) - Hyperfocus and Flow (23:47) - Moving to Practice from Pattern Recognition (27:57) - Risks and Stress Testing (34:41) - The Edge of Action (36:41) - Hiding ADHD ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Shell Mendelson has built her 35-year career in education and career counseling. There are a lot of career counselors, though. What makes Shell indispensable for us today is that she has ADHD herself and has spent that career helping others make career choices that reflect joy and passion for their unique ADHD brains.This week on the show, Shell brings us new insights into jobs and the ADHD brain. We talk about finding the right match, how to target those deal breakers we've been thinking so hard about the last few weeks, and how to approach discussing ADHD with hiring managers. We review what it takes to find a career coach that can help you with your unique career direction and how to work with a career coach to get the most out of the relationship.One other thing about Shell that is germane to this conversation: she was mentored by Richard Bolles, author of What Color is Your Parachute?: Your Guide to a Lifetime of Meaningful Work and Career Success She's custodian of the methodology now and has taken it in her own wonderful direction to help the neurodiverse population. Even so, we're intrigued by just how well the Parachute model aligns to our thinking around ADHD and encourage you to check out the book. It's a classic. And Shell has an updated working for ADHD adults which should be available in the next two months. Keep an eye out!Learn more about Shell right here, and make sure to connect on LinkedIn if you're on the hunt and need a coach!Other LinksThe Damn Good Resume Guide, Fifth Edition: A Crash Course in Resume Writing by Yana Parker and Beth Brown (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:19) - Support the Show: Become a Patron and Join the Community! https://patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (03:29) - Introducing Career Counselor Shell Mendelson (09:23) - What Color is Your Parachute? (15:54) - What makes the ADHD hunt hard? (18:53) - Where is ADHD in the process? (23:51) - The ADHD Disclosure Question (29:51) - The "Means to an End" Job (37:55) - Performance Plans (44:29) - Moving into the Job Hunt (49:05) - The Job Market (53:56) - Learn More ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This week, we’re continuing our job series and talking about deal breakers — those things that you see or experience in your job or on the job hunt that you simply can’t or won’t tolerate. We asked our listeners to weigh in on the topic again this week, and it turns out they had a lot to say. The conversation spans hard conversations on salary and overall compensation, through dealing with managers on expectations around job requirements, and we land on values, the things we can't tolerate in our work not because of what we're asked to do, but because of what the organization stands for. Thanks to everyone who contributed to the deal breaker survey and we hope you're able to listen to this and reflect on your own experience! (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:55) - Support the Show! Become a Patron at https://patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (03:56) - Our Dealbreakers (11:05) - Community Dealbreakers (11:31) - Salary Dealbreakers (17:45) - Management & Job Dealbreakers (31:51) - Values ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This week's episode we're talking all about red flags and warning signs in a work environment. We dig just a bit into our own stories of past jobs we've had that didn't work out so well, and looking for any red flags in the job postings and interviews. Missing deadlines? Making mistakes? Task overwhelm? We've been there. We then asked our community members to share any red flags they have experienced in previous work environments and were handsomely rewarded. We heard about red flags before getting the job and interview clues, such as long job postings, competitive salaries that are not actually competitive, and interviews that become defensive or too long. We also heard about red flags to look out for once you have the job, such as unclear work expectations, special treatment for high profile employees, and management not fostering a work-life balance. We discussed the difficulty of cultural change in conservative industries, and how harassment is often brushed off to avoid conflict. Thanks to all who wrote in sharing your stories and being a part of this series! (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (01:59) - Support the Show: Patron.com/theadhdpodcast (02:56) - The ADHD Book Club with James Ochoa's book: Focused Forward (04:03) - 2023 De-Clutter Challenge (05:24) - Sponsor: TextExpander (08:16) - Red Flags at Work ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This week, we explore the age-old question, "What do you do?" and the anxiety that it can cause. What started with Nikki doing her civic duty as a potential member on a jury leads us to discuss how this question can lead to us feeling boxed in, forced to express our identity through a job title. How do you answer this question differently, by sharing hobbies or passions that we enjoy, or aspects of our job that we find meaningful? These alternative answers can lead to more engaging conversations and can help all of us to reclaim our identity in a way that is more meaningful than just a job title. (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:43) - The ADHD Book Club (03:48) - 2023 De-Clutter Challenge (07:51) - Jobs ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Our friend James Ochoa is back! This week we're talking about the lessons you can learn from inflection points in your ADHD journey. What did you learn? What did you gain? What can come from it?We start with an event. Take some time in a grounded space, and think of an event from your past that we either positive or problematic in relation to your experience with ADHD. For Pete, it was an experience early in his freelance career, something that still causes physical discomfort twenty years later.Next, ask yourself these life-transformation questions:What did I learn from the event?What strengths did you gain from going through this experience?What hope came out of this experience?What wisdom was gathered in going through this?What new knowledge do you now have?James suggests using this exercise as a resource journal of life experiences and memories, a place to catalog the positive experiences and process the challenges over time.This week, James leads Pete through the exercise and conjures up all that old discomfort and quite a few laughs, all to rewire old experiences for the better.Learn more about James, his work, and his ADHD Town Halls on his website right here! (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:00) - Support the Show: Become a Patron! (02:34) - Organizing Challenge Time! (04:42) - Welcome Back James Ochoa! (05:32) - Seven Years of Focus Forward (07:36) - The Power of Your ADHD Story (12:48) - Where the River Meets the Sea (21:00) - Setting up the Exercise (44:44) - The ADHD Bookclub with special guest James Ochoa! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This week, we're exploring the transformative power of the "yes, and..." principle, a cornerstone of improv performance. This simple yet effective phrase encourages performers to not only accept but also expand upon their partners' spontaneous ideas. How can this mindset apply to daily life for those of us with ADHD? Today, we’re navigating how to use comedy to handle unexpected situations with ease and resilience.We dive into the concept of "yes, and..." as a tool for embracing and moving forward through challenging, unexpected, or complex moments. By replacing the instinctive "no, but..." response with a more adaptive and flexible attitude, it becomes easier to face adversity head-on and maintain momentum.We discuss the rejection faced by performers, writers, and directors alike, their coping strategies, and how they manage not to take rejection personally. By drawing parallels with rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), we uncover techniques to foster acceptance and perseverance.Mandy Kaplan is an actress, vo artist, singer, writer, ninja and podcast host living in LA. Her voice can be heard in hundreds of commercials/video games/and SO many audiobooks. Onscreen, she can be seen starring in the feature film 30 Nights of Sex to Save Your Marriage available on Tubi TV for free right now, a film she also co-wrote and produced. Her cabaret Miscast: Right Singer, Wrong Song has been running in LA for over 12 years.Mandy Fabian was the director and creator of Lifetime’s first digital series, The Young Hillary Diaries, and co-created and wrote the Amazon series Dropping the Soap, which won Jane Lynch an Emmy! She’s a Sony Television Directing Program Fellow, was named “Best New Filmmaker of the Year” by NewFilmmakers LA, and her latest screenplay, Late Bloomer, was selected for the Meryl Streep/Oprah Winfrey Writers Lab. Most recently, she completed her feature directorial debut Jess Plus None, an awkward comedy that will be released in the fall of 2023.Together, they co-host the Mandcave, a podcast about two best friends who have nothing in common except their names on TruStory FM. Our ultimate goal for this episode is to inspire listeners to find humor amidst life's challenges. By nurturing a comedic perspective and using it as a roadmap back to happiness, we hope to encourage a more profound reflection on the power of laughter in overcoming adversity.Links & NotesCheck out the Mandys in their podcast: MandcaveIn LA? Get tix for Mandy Kaplan’s Cabaret, “Miscast LA: Right Singer, Wrong Song”Check out the trailer for Mandy Fabian’s film, “Jess Plus None”Watch Mandy Kaplan’s film, “30 Nights” free on Tubi right now (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (00:56) - Support the Show: Become an ADHD Patron at patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (02:18) - ADHD Book Club: Focus Forward by James Ochoa (03:57) - Introducing Mandy Kaplan and Mandy Fabian (05:18) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (05:50) - Friends of ADHD (08:09) - Tools to Build Funny as a Shield: Yes... And? (11:02) - Contexts, Surprise, and Shame (16:14) - Celebrating Trash on the way to Gold (18:27) - Listening (21:48) - Getting Uncomfortable at Being Uncomfortable (26:41) - Rejection (39:40) - Laughing Through Grief ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We've had a terrific run looking deeply at self-compassion and ADHD over the last month. This week, we're taking a look back and reflecting on lessons learned, changes made, and opportunities ahead.Along the way, we welcome Bryan Brunelle to the team as the first of our Mod Squad members. If you're a member of our ADHD Discord Community make sure to reach out to Bryan ... or, just wait... sooner or later he'll reach out to you!The ADHD Book Club is opening up enrollment for the next term when the group covers our friend James Ochoa's book, Focus Forward. Learn more about the book club and get your name on the list right here!This week's episode is sponsored by our friends at TextExpander. Make work work the way your brain works. Learn more and save 20% on your first year subscription at takecontroladhd.com/textexpander today! (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:31) - Support the Show! Become a Patron Today! (03:06) - Sponsor: TextExpander • takecontroladhd.com/textexpander to save 20% on your first year! (06:36) - New Team Member! (09:07) - The ADHD Book Club • Focused Forward by James Ochoa (10:09) - Self-Compassion Reflections ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

You have a plan. You have a vision of yourself and your performance. But what happens when plans change, or the world doesn't share your perspective on your own experience? When RSD sets in, your ability to manifest compassion for yourself is most important.We kick off with a review of RSD, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Need to dive in a little deeper? Look no further and Dr. William Dodson's article on the topic in ADDitude Magazine. Even better, check out our episode with him on the subject from a few years back.Once you understand RSD and how RSD can contribute to emotional storms (check out James Ochoa on Emotional Storms here), you get a better picture of the importance of taking your compassion into your own hands. When no one else is looking to care for you, what tools do you have in your bag to care properly for yourself?This week: tools you can use to cope, regroup, and recover. (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (03:12) - Support the Show on Patreon! patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (06:17) - A Review of RSD (16:20) - The RSD Connection to Self-Compassion (25:45) - Building Tools for Self-Compassion (29:36) - Finding the Single Match in a Dark Cave ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Casey Dixon is a respected Life Coach with a unique focus on science-based, innovative, collaborative coaching and advising for high achievers with ADHD or executive function challenges.So, why is Casey back with us during our series discussing self-compassion and ADHD? Because it turns out that the way we talk to ourselves is universal. Even those living with ADHD who appear to have achieved success live with the threat of negative self-talk, denial, fear, and more. Creating a self-compassion practice is central to freeing ourselves from those feelings and moving forward.Learn more about Casey and her work at DixonLifeCoaching.com. (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:58) - Support the show: Become a Patron at https://patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (05:09) - Introducing Casey Dixon (09:48) - The ADHD Trifecta (13:36) - The Roller Coaster of the Trifecta (24:14) - Building the Habit of Self-Compassion (29:31) - Burnout ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We've been talking about ADHD and self-compassion over the last several weeks. But how do these experiences tie into other difficult emotions like anger, fear, worry, anxiety, and grief? Nikki and Pete continue the series on the show this week.For background, we're working through chapter 16 of The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer, as well as Neff's TEDxTalk, "The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion.".The journey through difficult emotions starts and ends with acceptance. But finding that emotional release isn't easy, nor does it happen in a straight line. But by labeling our experience, by finding the areas in our body that are manifesting current struggle, we can find a path toward release.Breathing for Pattern Interrupt with James OchoaInterrupting Negative Patterns with Dr. Dodge ReaJerry Campbell and the Dynamic Tension Between Love and Fear (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:40) - Support the show: Become a Patron at https://patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (02:42) - Tax Study Hall (04:56) - GPS Enrollment! (06:48) - All the Feelings (14:13) - The Stages of Acceptance (19:59) - Hyperfocus, Amygdala Hijack, and Strategies for Reset (28:37) - Awareness and Soothing ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Special thanks to TextExpander for sponsoring this week's show.We've talked about parenting with her. We've talked about therapy and ADHD. But my favorite episode with Dr. Sharon Saline was all about sinking thinking and self-compassion with ADHD. So, you can imagine that embarking on this series on that very subject would bring her back to the show.Sharon is the author of the award-winning book, What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids for Success in School and Life and The ADHD solution card deck. She specializes in working with neurodiverse children, teens, young adults, and families and aims to help outside-the-box thinkers improve executive functioning and social-emotional skills while also building practical communication tools and self-esteem.Sharon says that she, herself, is a perfectionist in recovery, and she offers key insights into perfectionism and its impact on ADHD. How does perfectionism drive self-compassion down? How can you use "just one thing" to turn what seems to be impossible into a daily practice? How do you avoid compare-and-despair? All that and more this week with our great friend Sharon Saline! (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (01:16) - Support the Show: Become a Patron! (02:18) - Sponsor: TextExpander! (04:38) - Tax Study Halls Now & GPS Open Enrollment Coming Soon! (06:00) - Introducing Dr. Sharon Saline (07:24) - Perfectionism (12:58) - Perfect is Subjective (18:56) - Procrastination (23:14) - The Critic and the Cheerleader (32:18) - Domain Perfectionism (39:16) - One Step Forward (41:00) - Making the Impossible a Practice (44:08) - Learn more about Sharon ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We're continuing our conversation on self-compassion and ADHD with a walk through the garden of shame. You know that garden, the one with the plants we nourish and carry with us, the blooms we sniff regularly, all laced with the poison of regret and self-doubt. This week, we're tearing up that soil.The conversation starts with a recap of concepts from The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer, as well as Neff's TEDxTalk, "The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion.". Quick reminder of the three core elements presented by Neff and Germer:Self-KindnessCommon HumanityMindfulnessThe biggest challenge to overcome, which we seem to struggle with universally, is the idea that just letting go of negative feelings is hard. You can't just read that in a book or hear it in a podcast and suddenly do it. But more important than that: it's ok for it to be hard to find yourself underneath all the shame. You're in there. And as long as you keep talking about it, one day you'll get there. (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:33) - Shame ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Why do you treat yourself worse than you would treat a dear friend?That's the central question of today's conversation and it centers on our ability to muster self-compassion, a practice of treating ourselves well when we need it, rather than thinking of ourselves only in terms of our struggles.The conversation starts with a walkthrough of concepts from The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer, as well as Neff's TEDxTalk, "The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion.". Central to the conversation are the three core elements presented by Neff and Germer:Self-KindnessCommon HumanityMindfulnessWe walk through each with examples today, and take a tour of the interconnected elements of anxiety and depression that sidle up next to ADHD on this journey toward self-compassion, and review how that impacts the ADHD brain. From there: Tools to build the muscle of self-compassion before you hit an ADHD storm! (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:08) - Support the show! Become A Patron (03:30) - Self-Compassion and ADHD ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

The last time Aron Croft was here, he shared his story of his education and personal background meeting ADHD reality. But you know what else? He built a successful Fortune 500 career and a highly successful training business teaching his 8% Productivity Habit, which helps ADHDers complete what we like to call clogging tasks, those tasks you've put off for months, and need more than simple willpower to get them done.He's back with us this week to share how the ADHD reality meets the business world and how you might find success by pivoting a business school classic model for your own needs.We're talking about the 4PM model: Product, Promotion, Pricing, and Process come together to illuminate the M, Market Fit. But Aaron argues that ADHD business owners need a second M: the ME Fit. Listen in as we explore how to prioritize the Me Fit into your operations, how to figure out what your Me and Market Fit really is, and how to use this model to decide if your best business inspirtation is really a good fit for your hard work.Learn more about Aron at FreeADHDTraining.com and check out his TikTok summary of 4PM2 here! (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (03:42) - Introducing Aron Croft (07:56) - The Four Ps for ADHD (15:02) - The Round-Robin (35:23) - Prioritizing the Me-Fit (39:10) - What if you're not an entrepreneur (42:12) - Learn More ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Morgan Hancock calls herself a troublemaker. This week, you're going hear about her being a troublemaker in high school. And again in summer school. And again in the Army.And then you're going to hear how she was diagnosed with ADHD and channeled that restless energy into commercial real estate, motherhood, and her passionate advocacy of the arts, including her art-focused bourbon charity, Bourbon with Heart, Inc.Morgan joins us this week to talk about her experience doing all those things living and working with ADHD. (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:20) - Support the Show • Become a Patron at https://patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (04:15) - Introducing Morgan Hancock (11:18) - Making the Turn with Attention (18:10) - Bourbon with Heart (24:46) - A look at systems ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Maggie Isley is a designer, coach, and speaker. She’s the co-founder and creative director of 929 Studios, where she works with businesses around the world to form cohesive brand identities. She is also the co-founder of Be Unemployable, a podcast and educational brand for neurodivergent entrepreneurs with our new best friend of the show, Jamie Cutino. Maggie joins us today to talk about her work with neurodivergent entrepreneurs and how to get unstuck in our professional growth.In her recent TEDx Talk, she discussed her revelation that business plateaus are rarely just business problems. Working exclusively with a neurodivergent population, she found a connection between people becoming stuck in their own professional growth and their current state of healing from past trauma. (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:06) - Support the show• Become a Patron! (02:25) - Group Coaching is Here! (03:24) - Sponsor: TextExpander! (06:51) - Introducing Maggie Isely (13:20) - Boat anchors are temporary (22:42) - What about the data? (26:32) - Trauma and Self-Awareness (33:12) - Pattern Recognition (34:51) - Maggie's Coaching (39:03) - Taking Advice (42:26) - Provoke Yourself ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

It's not easy to get out of bed every day with your eye on building and growing your own business. Whether you have people depending on you as a part of your own team, or you're working as an indie contractor, the responsibilities, emotional, and intellectual weight on you as a business owner is simply different than it was when you went to work for someone else. This week, we're talking about the experience of owning your day. We talk about the pros and cons of hustle culture and the value of time blocking. We talk about finding the support you need to get the work done and the challenges to memory and organization that come from the outside -- the state, licensing entities, and regulators. It's not easy, being the boss, but it's incredibly rewarding if you find your way forward. From two people with more than a decade each owning their own businesses, we bring our hard-won experience to you this week. (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (05:08) - Getting Down to Business ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★